Super Smash Brothers Odyssey
by ZeekeXIV
Summary: What should've been a simple quest to save Peach & Zelda from Bowser & Ganondorf turns into a never-ending, epic journey for Mario & Link. Anything and everything happens to them. The only question is "what will happen next?" **Updated 12-29-10**
1. Not Again

Just so you know, there's a forum for this story. Check my profile for the link.

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**Act 1****: _Not Again_**

In the heart of the Mushroom Kingdom, very close to Princess Peach's castle, lied the home of the most critically acclaimed and prominent idols in all the land. This was the humble adobe of none other than Mario Mario. His tales of endless heroism were known throughout his world, as he was best known for foiling the twisted plots of the diabolical King Bowser Koopa and saving the fair Princess Peach Toadstool.

During the mid-afternoon, Mario headed toward his mailbox in the front yard to pick up the mail that had just been delivered. He rummaged through a stack letters, noting nothing out of the ordinary.

"Bills... bills... credit card offers... bills..." Mario shuffled to one particular envelop which promptly exploded as soon as he touched it. "WOOAAH!! Bullet Bill by mail... I'll get you, Wario..." He growled through gritted teeth as he continued shuffling through his delivery. "Titillated Toadettes resubscription?" Mario raised an eyebrow of confusion when he came upon this piece of postage. "I need to tell Luigi to stop using my address..."

Eventually, he stopped on one particular letter: a pink-enveloped parcel with a crowned golden mushroom stamp in the upper-left corner. This type of envelop only came from one person...

"A letter from Peach..." Mario hummed with a nod as he slid a finger through the seal, opened the envelop, and read the letter.

**_Dear Mario, _**

**_Please come to the castle. I've baked a cake for you!_**

**_Yours truly,  
Princess Toadstool (Peach)_**

"I was just in the mood for one of her cakes, too!" Mario said satisfactorily, hungrily rubbing his stomach.

Mario bought his mail into his house and took the nearest warp-pipe to Princess Peach's castle. Her home was looking just as grand and splendid as ever, with birds happily chirping, rabbits playing in the hedge maze, the waterfall flowing pure and clean as always.

Still with the letter in hand, Mario fished it out of his pocket and took a look at it. He couldn't help but feel like something was off about this whole situation, involuntarily raising an eyebrow as his eyes skimmed over the letter once again.

"Why does this feel so ridiculously familiar? In fact, why did Peach send me a letter instead of calling me?" Mario suddenly wondered. "Eh, maybe I'm thinking too hard. It might be a special occasion or something."

Shaking off his suspicions, Mario ran to the front door and let himself into the castle.

Without warning, accompanied by a threatening fanfare, a booming voice echoed throughout the main lobby of the castle.

"WELCOME!! NO ONE'S HOME!! NOW SCRAM-- AND DON'T COME BACK!! GWA HA HA!!"

Suddenly, it hit him: this was exactly how his greatest adventure yet had started: _Super Mario 64_! The same exact letter... the same exact greeting... It all came rushing back into Mario's memory.

"Not again... I have GOT to stop falling for Bowser's stupid tricks! I can't believeI fell for a rehash..." Mario sighed, disappointed in himself and Bowser's lack of creativity in his latest scheme. "Well, time to get to work."

All this time, Mario hadn't even stepped out of the doorway. He took nearly two steps and was immediately greeted by Toad, who wasted no time dealing Mario a heavy dose of incessant complaining.

"Mario! This is terrible! The princess was kidnapped by Bowser again! What are we going to do? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!! WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!" He bawled.

Mario wasn't too upset before, but seeing this display of sheer weakness set him off. Toad was supposed to be guarding the castle, and in the event of an impending kidnapping, he was to notify Mario ASAP to promptly save the day as he usually would. Instead, he finds Toad bawling in a corner, not even attempting to do anything about what just happened. It was things like these that Mario just couldn't tolerate.

"You're are so useless, it's unbelievable!" Mario growled, seething with rage. "I'll tell you what _we're_ going to do:NOTHING!! _I'm_ going to find Bowser, beat him within a nanometer of his life, rescue Peach, and tell her get rid of you! And until then, _you _will shut the hell up, stand in a corner, violate yourself with your own fist, and smile about it."

Toad just stood there. He had never seen Mario so enraged before. A stunned, sad, and hopeless look was plastered on Toad's face.

"What are you waiting for?! Get over there!" Mario furiously demanded, sending a boot to Toad's backside and a few fireballs for good measure.

"AAAACK!! OKAY, OKAY!!" Toad cried as he frantically ran to the farthest corner and began his sentence.

"And if I find out you moved from that spot..." Mario wasn't even able to complete his threat. His blinding anger clouded his creativity. "Don't... move... from that spot."

He finally left Toad to his fate and began his trek to the final battle stage. Since he sensed that since Bowser hadn't fooled around with the Power Stars this time around, he could just go straight to the end.

Not too long after he set out, he reached his destination without many hardships; none at all, in fact. He jumped down the final warp-pipe and prepared for an arduous battle. Much to his surprise, the only thing that awaited him was an empty, star-shaped platform.

"What...? I left this place like this years ago!" He realized as he glanced around, expecting this to be a trick.

Mario then noticed a lone, yellow note in the middle of the field. He walked up to it and picked it up off the ground. With a red watermark in the shape of a very familiar head, he knew exactly who it was from. It read:

**_To the Fattest, Dumbest Plumber in all of _****_Mushroom_****_Kingdom_**

**_You really are an idiot. I really meant it when I said nobody's home. You're really never gonna find me, meaning you'll never rescue Peach, so I suggest you get really used to rescuing yourself every morning and night, if you know what I mean... GWA HA HA!!_**

**_Get it? _****_It's funny because I'm playing on the idea of "rescuing". You rescue Peach from danger, she probably rescues you from... you know... But this time..._**

**_Uh oh... ...running out of room to write... I'll just end this with the laugh._**

**_GWA HA HA!!_**

**_From the Illest of the _****_Ill_****_, the Baddest of the Bad, and the Evilest of the Evil, _****_  
King Bowser Koopa_**

**_P.S. GWA HA HA!!_**

Words could not describe how angry Mario was at that exact point in time. He crumpled the note in one hand, which lit ablaze and subsequently fried the letter.

Figuring there was nothing left to do; he jumped off the star-shaped field and ended up back in the castle courtyard. With no leads on where Bowser could be, he he could only take a seat in the grass and ponder about who could help him now. He sat with his legs crossed and his palms resting on his knees.

"Alright, time to calm down and think... Bowser couldn't have gotten that far. He moves pretty slow and he's not exactly inconspicuous, so _someone_ had to have seen him pass by. But who..." Before he could even finish his thought, the answer hit him, causing him to jump up in excitement. "Yes! _He_ could help me!"

Mario dashed toward the courtyard cannon and hopped in, preparing to blast off toward the roof of the castle. Carefully aiming himself, he shot himself to the top, flawlessly landing right by the sleeping character he knew could help him.

"I knew it..." He mumbled in a low voice. "Hey, wake up!" Mario said, nudging the resting shoulder. "Yoshi! Wake up!"

With a groggy stir, Mario's faithful companion, Yoshi, uncurled himself from his sleeping position and rose to his feet, stretching to wake his body up.

"I can't believe you're still here after all this time. Don't you ever go home?" Mario wondered.

"Yes, I head home from time to time... But I consider this my home away from home. I mean... it's quiet, it's peaceful, and I have a perfect view of the sunset... What more could I want?" Yoshi asked, raising his arms in question. "So... what can I do for you? Need a hundred extra lives again?"

"Not this time. I need some info. Bowser kidnapped Peach again and he's probably doing who-knows-what to her as we speak." Just then, Mario let out a tired and disappointed sigh. "I really need to have a talk with her. We went over this a thousand times... How safe can you be when you have Toad, who curls up in a corner, cries, and fists himself, guarding your castle?"

"He... fists... himself?" Yoshi asked with a face screwed up in confusion, not quite understanding what Mario meant.

_Back in the corner of Peach's castle...__  
_  
"Ugh... How does Mario expect me to... Wait... WAIT!!" A sickening squish was heard. "AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

_Returning to the roof...__  
_  
"Don't even try to think about it..." Mario shook his head. "Anyway, I know you had to have seen _something_ before you fell asleep."

"As a matter of fact, I did. I actually saw Bowser flying into the sky in his Krazy Klown Kar just when I came to the roof. Later on, he jumped off and fell through a warp-pipe." Yoshi recalled. "He did have a large sack slung over his shoulder, but I didn't think anything of it. I just figured he was taking it easy for once. I should've known better..."

"Do you remember where the pipe was?" Mario asked.

"Yes, indeed. Look straight ahead and turn about seventeen degrees eastward." Yoshi instructed.

Mario just turned to Yoshi, giving him an annoyed look.

"Are you kidding me? You know I don't have an innate sense of direction like you Yoshis do..." Mario muttered.

"A thousand pardons... Just follow the egg, then." Yoshi said.

He then popped out an egg and grabbed it with his throwing arm. After a brisk wind up, he sent the egg flying towards the pipe he was talking about. It was roughly about three hundred yards south of the castle.

"What an arm..." Mario said in awe. "I've been wondering this for a long time now: how can you throw like that?"

"Well, it's actually impossible to throw an egg that far. The only way to get it that far is to know the truth." Yoshi explained.

"And the truth is..." Mario inquired.

"There is no egg." Yoshi said and smiled.

"Alright... No more movies from Earth." Mario replied. "Anyway, thanks for the info. I'm going to go home to prepare for the journey and set out tomorrow. You want to help me out? It'll be just like our first adventure together!"

"I would go, but I have to stay with that bratty kid of yours. Ever since I saved him from Baby Bowser, he's been hanging on my tail and riding me every waking moment!" Yoshi said angrily.

"Oh yeah... My... son..." Mario stammered. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, me and Peach appreciate you watching him against your will. Just to let you know, you'll be doing this for a loooooooooong time." Mario said.

"Wait until I settle down with Birdo... You'll see... I'll be sure to send all of my children your way." Yoshi vengefully promised.

"You know, Yoshi..." Mario began. "Birdo is a man... named Ostro. He has a _serious _case of gender confusion."

"Those are rumors, Mario! Nothing but awful, _awful _rumors!" Yoshi grew offended, refusing to believe what Mario was saying.

"Okay... Whatever you want to believe." Mario sighed, leaving it to Yoshi to find out the horrible truth on his own. "I'll see you later."

"Good luck!" Yoshi called out just as Mario jumped into the warp-pipe leading home.

Mario returned home almost within an instant. The sun was setting fast; when he jumped out, the sun just sank below the horizon, leaving the sky a pretty shade of orange blending into a nightly-blue. The scene on the home-front seemed quiet enough. As he neared closer and closer to his front door, though, he noticed it was slightly opened.

"I know I locked the door before I left." Mario murmured to himself.

He cautiously stepped through the front door. It was eerily dark as he made his way past his living room. A strange, blue glow radiated on the hallway walls. He looked through the doorway and found the TV on at a low volume. Mario didn't like what he saw on his screen, though.

"Toadettes Gone Wild?!" Mario gasped as he dove at the remote on the arm of his couch and shut off his television.

That's when he heard heavy breathing. It was faint, but he could tell it was coming from upstairs. Briskly, but quietly, he made his way upstairs and followed the gradually loudening breaths to his bathroom. The door was closed, just as he left it earlier, but by the glow of the light from under the door, he knew someone was in there. Mario put his ear to the door, hoping to figure out who this intruder was.

"Ooohhh yes... oooohhh yeah... ooohhh Mama Mia..." A familiar voice chanted from the other side of the door.

"Of course..." Mario sighed as he backed away from the door and assumed an attack position.

Suddenly, Mario kicked the door down and caught none other than his younger, taller brother, Luigi Mario, with his pants down, literally. In one hand: Titillated Toadettes magazine. In the other... ...that'll be left to the imagination to decide...

"Luigi... How many times must I tell you not to watch your filthy porn here?! Huh? How many times?" Mario angrily demanded.

"Sorry... But it's not like you were here this time..." Luigi muttered, pulling up his pants, extremely embarrassed.

"That's not the point! This is _my_ house! You broke in and left the door wide open! You know I can have you arrested?!" Mario shouted. "It's bad enough Bowser kidnapped Peach again and Toad didn't do anything about it _again_. You being here just makes my day worse."

"Bowser got to Peach _again_? Unbelievable..." Luigi sighed, shaking his head.

"Is it really that hard to believe? What _I_ find bewildering is that we're still depending on him to keep the castle safe." Mario said.

"That _is_ incredibly amazing. You'd think we'd all know better by now... Well, we'll fix that after we save Peach." Luigi assured him.

"Wait, wait... Wait a second... _We'll_? As in: _we _will? As in: _you_ and _I _will? Think again, Mr. I-masturbate-in-my-brother's-bathroom. I'm not working with you again. No. You cramp my style in ways impossible to imagine." Mario said.

"Well, get over it! Whatever you say isn't stopping me. I'm coming too, whether you like it or not." Luigi shot back. "I'm tired of sitting around in that stupid mansion all day. There are still ghosts there! They used to be scary, but now they're just annoying! I can't watch my... tapes... over there because they always have some smart-alec side-comment! And I never have any privacy! They're always watching me! _ALWAYS_!!"He emphasized."It wouldn't be so bad if I had visitors or something, but even Daisy stopped visiting."

"Speaking of Daisy... Your relationship with her isn't happening because she actually likes you. She's only with you as a favor to me. You see, Donkey Kong kidnapped her for no reason way back when he was into kidnapping helpless females. It was probably because he could never get to Peach, since Bowser was always after her. I guess Daisy seemed like the next best thing.

"After I saved her, she was ready and willing to do anything for me. And I do mean _anything_." Mario stressed. "I had a few things in mind, but I decided to be a good brother. I tried to get her interested in you so you could develop your own identity. You've been living in my shadow for _way _too long, so I figured with the right woman, you could make something of yourself. I guess you like the shade because you're _still _living in my shadow. People are starting to forget your name. They just refer to you as 'the green Mario' or 'Mr. Greenie'. Even _I'm _starting to forget. How can you live with being nothing more than my eternal understudy?"

Luigi thought hard about some type of retribution statement, but Mario's words were unfortunately true. No one knew who he was anymore. The only thing they knew about him was that he was a coward. Luigi could admit that he's more cowardly than the average person, but when it came down to it, he had courage deep down inside of him that could easily rival, if not best, Mario's.

With a clutched fist and gritted teeth, Luigi just took Mario's words to heart and began mentally preparing for when he'd be able to prove not only his brother's assumptions, but everyone else's wrong.

"I am going to go home now." Luigi simply stated, opting to leave instead of starting an argument.

"Best news I heard all day." Mario nodded, approvingly.

"Don't think I won't be back, though, because I _shall_ return! Tomorrow, bright and early, we're gonna go to get Peach back. Be ready." Luigi said and headed out of the house.

Mario waited until he heard his front door close.

"Don't worry. I'll be ready. I won't be here when you are, though." He replied to a nonexistent Luigi while heading up to his bathroom to prepare for bed.

After preparing for bed, Mario headed toward his room and jumped under his covers, getting rested up for what he anticipated to be one hell of a day tomorrow.

"I don't even know why I'm in bed so early. It's only Bowser I'm dealing with. This'll be just like every other episode I been through." Mario thought to himself, aloud. "Eh, I'm tired anyway. A good night's sleep should do me good."

With that and the sound of his music box softly chiming the Piranha Plant's Lullaby, he dozed off and fell asleep. Little did he know that this trip to save Peach from Bowser's clutches would be _nothing _like any adventure he had ever gone on before...


	2. And History Repeats Itself

**Act 2****: _And History Repeats Itself_**

In the legendary land of Hyrule, there was a legendary tale passed down from generation to generation. This was the tale of the Hero of Time, Link, and how he saved Hyrule and the Princess of Destiny, Zelda, from the tyrannical rule of the King of Evil, Ganondorf.

What the legend never spoke of was how Link, Zelda, and Ganondorf all became friends after the events of _Ocarina of Time_.

During one of the majestically beautiful days in Hyrule, in the courtyard of the grandiose palace, Link and Ganondorf reminisced about their past. Of course, with them both being incredibly egotistical, their conflicting memories dead-locked them into an unending argument.

"But seriously, G-dorf, I was the freakin' man! In fact, I still am! You know it. I know it. Zelda knows it. All of Hyrule knows it. The list just goes on!" Link cockily boasted.

"Oh, word?" Ganondorf said, letting Link's head inflate to epic proportions just so he could have the sole satisfaction of popping it.

"Damn-straight, 'word'! You can't deny it! You know I coulda taken you out as a kid, but I decided to let you live. It'd mean more if I faced you man-to-man, know what I mean?" Link continued.

"Fuck outta here! Yo' ass wouldn't las' two seconds against me if you tried that shit. Remember when I blasted you after I asked you where Zelda was? Yo' ass flew back ten feet and you screamed like a lil' bitch!" Ganondorf recalled, chuckling. "Even when you 'grew up', you were still too wack to test my skills. You know godamn-well you woulda never touched me if it weren't for those godamn Light arrows and that lil' bitch, Navi. And even _then_, you still couldn't do the damn thing by yo'self! Zelda had to hold me down so you could finish the job!"

"Bullshit! I can murk you easily without any of that!" Link shot back.

"But you still need a fuckin' army-load of weapons to take me down!" Ganondorf reminded. "Seriously, my man... a Megaton Hammer? A Hookshot? Fuckin' Deku nuts?! Yo' nothin' wit'out all that shit! I'ma say it again properly: You are _nothing_ without your weapons. I don't need any of that shit! All I need is my sword and my transformation. And even those shits are unnecessary. It's all me, baby."

"Alright, G-dorf, I got you. We're gonna do this! Me vs. you. Sword-to-sword and nothin' else." Link said. "I'ma show you you're just talkin' out your ass as usual. You can't touch me! I'm the Hero of Time!" He announced as his fanfare, the beginning theme from _A Link to the Past_, blared throughout the relative silence of the courtyard.

"Are you kiddin' me? Who the fuck are you tryin' to impress wit' that 'Hero of Time' bullshit?" Ganondorf demanded. "Seriously, kid. Yo' nothin'! Inside that body is the mind of a sorry-ass punk bitch who can't fight for shit. The only reason yo' ass ain't hiding under yo' momma's dress is because she _and _her weak-ass attire are six feet under my boots."

Link was shocked by those words. He thought this was a relatively friendly challenge. But with that blatantly hate-filled insult, Ganondorf took it way too far.

Blind with a sudden rage, Link unsheathed his sword and charged at an unarmed Ganondorf. At this point, he didn't care if Ganondorf was defenseless. Link was aiming for the head.

Unfortunately for Link, Ganondorf was _never_ defenseless. Reading Link's moves like a children's book, Ganondorf already had a devastating Warlock Punch ready for him. Just when Link was within prime hacking range, Ganondorf poured all his energy into his right fist and sent it screaming straight into Link's gut.

"HHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Ganondorf screamed, connecting flawlessly with Link's midsection.

Ganondorf's fist literally got buried in Link's stomach. It hit so hard that the outline of his fist actually could be seen through Link's back. Then, in an explosive purple blaze of dark energy, Link was sent flying out of the courtyard, soaring through the air toward his home back in Kokiri Forest.

Link crashed through the roof of his home and broke through a table. He was incredible pain, as the wooden table he landed on didn't provide much cushioning, not to mention he was still reeling from the pain of that punch to the abdomen.

"Ugh... I can't believe he said that..." Link groaned, attempting to rise from under the rubble that used to be his table, but winced at his blinding pain and stayed put, closing his eyes.

_What if he's right_, Link suddenly thought to himself. _What if I never had any help? Would I have been able to win?_

Just as suddenly as his self-doubting thoughts began, he opened his eyes and sprung up into a sitting position.

"What the hell am I thinkin'? The Goddesses wouldn't let me go out like that!" Link confidently stated. "Whatever hand I was dealt, I woulda won somehow. The same shit applies now! I'ma head back over there and show Ganondorf just who the hell he's effin' with!"

After digging himself out of the mess he made and stretching the pain away as best as he could, he made his way out of the house. Just as he stepped onto the balcony, he noticed the Sage of the Forest, Saria, running toward the ladder leading to his front door.

"Link! You're back!" She sang, happily. "Did you miss me?"

"Hell no!" Link stated, climbing down the ladder to Saria's level. "The only reason I'm here is because me and Ganondorf got into some confrontations and he sent me flyin' over here. He thinks he's so great... We'll see how great he is when he feels my left-right combo." He said, fiercely punching the air.

He was unfortunately reminded of his unbearable pain when he dealt a hard left jab.

"Aww... aww... damnit... I shouldn't have done that..." Link groaned, holding his back and screwing up his face in agony.

"Just take it easy, Linky. Saria will make it all better." Saria cooed as she sat Link down and began to massage Link's aching back.

Link thought about protesting, but let it ride. He was in pain but the motions _were_ feeling pretty good at the moment. He was actually forgetting about his pain as he began to relax a little.

Sensing Link's relaxation as he let out a relieved sigh, Saria slowly moved her hands down Link's back, and eased her way around his lower back to his stomach to rub his belly. Feeling no resistance, Saria decided to move even further down, slowly inching her way toward Link's pride and joy.

And that's when Link reacted, promptly sending an elbow to Saria's forehead and jumping to his feet.

"OWW!!" She yelped. "What are you? Gay?! I was trying to help you forget about the pain!" Saria shouted, rubbing her pained forehead.

"This is exactly why I'm never here! Your little ass is always hungry for sex and I want no part of it! What the hell is your deal? You're twelve!" Link shouted.

"I'm not a kid! I'm _a lot_ older than you think! I'm sure I'm _way_ older than your girlfriend, Zelda! Believe me!" Saria shot back.

"I don't give three damns! In my eyes, you're just a horny-ass little girl that somehow became the Sage of the Forest." Link said.

"If that's what you want to think, then fine! Be that way! Mido is more of a man than you'll ever be, anyway! I know he'll treat me like a woman." She said as she merrily skipped over to Mido.

"I'm _definitely _never comin' back here again..." Link muttered. "Whatever. It's time show Ganondorf what's really good." He headed toward the exit leading to Hyrule Field.

When he entered the field, he immediately noticed the blackened sky and the booming thunder clamoring in the heavens. The air also felt colder as a chilling breeze ruled the air. It was as if the land was saying "grimness is afoot".

A frown began to form on Link's face after seeing Hyrule Field. He then pulled out his invaluable Ocarina of Time and played a tune that was carried by the winds far and wide: Epona's Song. A strong neighing was heard in the distance and within seconds, Link's trusted steed, Epona, galloped beside him and came to a stop. Link climbed onto Epona's back and motioned her to gallop toward Hyrule Castle.

His worst fears turned into a reality as he neared the castle grounds. The closer he got, the darker the sky became, and the more extravagant the thunder and lighting grew. Epona continued to gallop past the castle walls and through the once-lively Hyrule Castle Town.

"Whoa, Epona!" Link commanded as he slowed her to a stop, studying the castle that lied before them.

What was once a lovely and majestic castle was now a dark, intimidating, and deliciously evil-looking fortress. It floated on a single plot of land over a deep, boiling pit of lava.

"...and history repeats itself... Godamnit, Ganondorf." Link muttered, his face slowly becoming more and more twisted with anger.

He dismounted his trusted steed and crossed the bridge of dark energy into the fortress. There were no obstacles to overcome as Link easily ran through to the main pillar of the fortress and traveled up the twisting stairs into the throne room where he knew Ganondorf waited.

Just as he thought, Ganondorf was there. He was standing over a black organ and was playing a dark and foreboding tune. After letting the final note drown out, he spun around, letting his cape flap loudly, and faced Link with a devious smirk. Link stared back with a fierce intensity and a face of determination absent of all smiles.

"What the hell are you doin', Ganondorf?" Link demanded. "You know this isn't the way I wanted to settle this! Damnit, man, I didn't even want to get into this at all! I wasn't serious! I thought we were shit-talkin' as usual! The only reason I charged you was because you said some real fucked up shit about my mom, and I _know_ you weren't jokin' around."

Ganondorf only shook his head, disappointed. "You really are nothin' but a bitch." He taunted. "Listen to you: tryin' to find a way outta this fight by talkin' that weak shit. I _know_ you weren't serious. But I wanted to _make _it serious. You singin' all that bullshit about way back when was pissin' me off. You need to understand that yo' nothin' but a punk-ass bitch, son, not that 'Hero of Time' you have wet dreams about. I'ma show you, right now, what woulda happened if you were on your own."

Just then, the skies outside of the castle somehow managed to grow even darker than before as Ganondorf held up his right fist. His piece of the Triforce, the Triforce of Power, pulsed a golden glow. Slowly, he grew bigger and took the form of a monstrous beast. His face grew out of proportion, changing its form into that of a mutated warthog. His hair also grew out long and a fiery orange, resting on his bulging, muscled shoulders. Not only were his shoulders muscled, but the rest of his body grew to incredible proportions; particularly his arms and legs. In each hand, he held a devastating golden-bladed sword.

"No... Ganon... versus me with no Light arrows..." Link sighed as he unsheathed his Master Sword and attempted a defensive stance behind his shield.

"YOU THINK THAT TIRED-ASS SHIELD IS GONNA SAVE YOU?! HOLD THIS!" Ganon roared and swung viciously at Link.

With a heavy clang, Link was sent spiraling into one of the hard stone walls. He literally bounced off and landed with a thud into his stomach. This reawakened the searing pain in his gut and he stayed grounded.

"Godamnit... My stomach..." He complained, clutching his belly and agonizingly rolling to his back. "I'm gonna get killed if I don't get outta here..." He slowly reached into his inventory and took out his ocarina.

"THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH! RUN! RUN BEFORE YO' WEAK-ASS GETS KILLED!" Ganon taunted as he emitted a booming laugh.

Suddenly, a deep rumbling shook the floor beneath them. Link just lied there, letting himself get shaken relentlessly. Ganon, on the other hand, struggled to keep his balance. Link managed to rise to one knee to look at Ganon. He actually looked like he didn't know what was going on.

Finally, the rumbling stopped as a red warp-pipe exploded from the ground. And from that pipe jumped another figure: a large-framed figure, nearly as tall as Ganon and definitely wider, but not as powerful. He landed, shaking the ground and holding a large brown sack over his shoulder.

"Bowser's in the house!" Bowser announced, holding a fist of triumph in the air.

"IT'S ABOUT TIME YO' HEAVY-ASS GOT HERE!" Ganon shouted.

"Hey, it isn't easy getting to Hyrule by warp-pipe! I got lost a couple of times..." Bowser admitted.

"WHATEVER! I GOT ZELDA LOCKED UP IN THE TOWER! YOU DEFINITELY GOT PEACH, RIGHT?!" Ganon screamed.

"Do you know who I am? It's in the bag!" Bowser replied.

He tossed the large bag onto the ground. Loud shrieks were heard sounding off from the inside. Without a doubt, it was Peach on the inside. Ganon and Link looked at each other disappointedly.

"Wow, B-Boss... Jus'... wow... BUT GOOD SHIT, SON! IT'S ON, BABY!" Ganon bellowed exuberantly as thunder and lightning went off with extravagant force.

"It's about as on as an unplugged lightbulb!" Link suddenly exclaimed, jumping up to his feet, but slightly wincing from the pain. He then whipped out his bow and arrow and armed the arrow with a grandiose Super Bomb. He aimed it at Ganon and Bowser, alternately. "Pass Peach and Zelda before I get serious."

Bowser and Ganon glanced at each other briefly. Suddenly, they burst out laughing, giving each other a pound as if they accomplished something. Link struggled to hold his composure as Ganon and Bowser continued to belittle him with their riotous laughter.

"'Before he gets serious', he says! With medieval weapons!" Bowser could barely even talk without bursting into laughs; holding one hand over his stomach and having the other wipe a stray tear from his eye. "You gotta be kidding me!"

"I kid you not! I won't hesitate to set it off if you don't hand 'em over!" Link threatened.

Without even saying anything, Bowser spit flames at Link's bow and arrow. Everything but the bomb disintegrated on contact. The Super Bomb was left to drop to the floor and hit the ground with a hard "thunk". Immediately, the bomb detonated with colossal force right at Link's feet. Ganon and Bowser were blown back a little by the shockwave it sent out, but Link was blown sky-high, screaming into the wild blue and out of sight.

Ganon walked up beside Bowser and patted him on the shoulder, approvingly.

"What a punk..." Bowser sighed.

"THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TALK GREEZY AND CAN'T BACK YOUR WORDS UP!" Ganon stated. "THAT MOFO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO STAY OUTTA PEOPLE'S BIZ, THOUGH! HE'LL BE BACK TO START SOME SHIT AGAIN!"

"Yeah, I know. And I'm damn-sure Mario will find a way here, too, somehow. You know, if they team up, we might be in for some turbulence." Bowser realized.

"THAT'S NOT EVEN AN ISSUE, SON! WIT' ME IN THIS FORM, NEITHER OF THEM CAN DO A DAMN THING! IT'LL BE LIKE I'M AN EARTHQUAKE AND THEY'RE STANDIN' ON THE FAULT LINE: GUARANTEED CASUALTIES!" Ganon claimed in an unbearably loud roar.

Bowser could only cover his ears to try to drown out the earsplitting noise, but that barely did a thing.

"We're gonna be spending a lot of time together... I hope you're not planning on staying like that for the entire time. I'm seriously gonna go deaf hanging with you." Bowser said with his hands over his ears.

"NAH! I'M 'BOUT TO CHANGE--" Ganon started.

"Ganondorf, seriously!" Bowser interrupted, trying to shout over the booming roar.

"MY BAD! My bad." Ganon apologized as he transformed back into Ganondorf.

"Thank you, God... Urrgh... My ears are still ringing." Bowser groaned, holding a hand over his ear like he was in pain. "I know what'll fix it up, though: Zelda and Peach screaming in terror. I'm telling you: there's nothing like hearing a helpless dame crying for help." He admitted, grabbing the bag Peach was still in and smiled as muffled, terrified cries broke through the cloth. "It's almost musical."

"I hear that, man. Let's get this party started!" Ganondorf suggested as he led the way to the tower where Zelda was being held captive.

_Meanwhile..._

Link was just beginning his decent toward the ground. As he bulleted toward the floor, he recognized the terrain below him.

"Lake Hylia!" Link exclaimed. "At least the landin' won't be so bad. Water is better than the ground."

As he fell closer and closer to the ground, he noticed that there was a serious lack of water in the Lake Hylia area. Suddenly, he remembered that the last time Ganondorf took over Hyrule, Lake Hylia was emptied out. Since he was mimicking the same events, Lake Hylia was once again devoid of almost all essential lake material.

"This does not bode well..." Link muttered.

Seconds later, he slammed into the ground with the enough force to crack three three-foot thick slabs of concrete three times. Somehow, he was still alive, even after the impact of the landing. The saddest part was that he landed right near the entrance of the Water Temple, which was preceded by a deep pool of water. Link simply looked to his side and uttered a laughably weak giggle.

"Whoooooa, there goes my consciousness..." Link noticed as his vision began to get progressively blurry and dark. "Hopefully, things start lookin' up when I come back to life..."

And with that thought, Link passed out. Of course, he had no idea just what he'd be getting into after he regained his consciousness, though...


	3. Don't Lose Your Head Over It

**Act 3****: _Don't Lose Your Head over It_**

The crack of dawn.****

That's the time Luigi arrived at Mario's front door, ready to scour every necessary inch they had to travel in order to track down Bowser and save Peach. Luigi wasn't usually as enthusiastic as he was about going on long, strenuous journeys, but this time he had something to prove. He wanted to show _everyone_, including Mario, that he wasn't just his useless shadow. He wanted to prove that he could hold his own and do anything just as well as his older, more recognized brother could.

Luigi reached out and pushed the doorbell. The familiar chime of their theme song rang as he waited for an answer. A few seconds passed by.

No answer...

Figuring Mario was still asleep, Luigi decided to give the bell another ring. He waited another few seconds.

Still no answer...

Luigi rang the doorbell once again, growing slightly frustrated.

"Hey, Mario! It's time to go!" Luigi shouted, knocking at the door as well while another few seconds went by.

There was _still_ no answer...

"Come on, Mario, wake up! We gotta go save Peach! Don't make me come up there!" Luigi threatened, thoroughly aggravated and repeatedly pressing the doorbell in hopes of waking his brother up.

And there was _still_ no answer.

"BAH!!" Luigi literally broke down the door with a smash-headbutt and stormed up the stairs, straight to his slumbering sibling's room.

Right when he reached the closed door of his brother's room, he found a letter pinned right in the middle of the door. Luigi picked it off and read it back to himself.

**_Dear Retarded Brother of Mine, _****__**

I really meant it when I said I refuse to work with you. By the time you read this, I will have already gone down the warp-pipe and have sealed the entrance so you can't follow me.****

****

**_Say 'hi' to Big Boo for me when you get home._****__**

Your shadow-caster,  
Mario

Luigi's eyes narrowed in anger as he glared at the note in his hands.

"What a..." Luigi couldn't even think of a negative-enough noun to complete his though. "I can't believe he'd just ditch me like that! I can't even chase after him because I don't know where he is! But that'll be only temporary..." He suddenly unveiled a pair of futuristic binoculars. "Ha ha! With E. Gadd's Super-Incredible Scanning Binoculars, there's nothing I can't find!"

Heading up to the dusty attic of Mario's home and leaning out the window with his binoculars in hand, Luigi scanned the area, hoping Mario hadn't gotten too far. He met with success in seconds, just as he predicted. Luigi viewed Mario right at the entrance of a yellow warp-pipe, just about ready to jump in.

_Alright, I think this is the pipe Yoshi was talking about_, Mario thought to himself.

Mario effortlessly hopped over the rim of the warp-pipe and was just about to fall in. Without warning, however, he was belly-bumped out of the way, in mid-air, by a yellow and purple blob.

Mario landed unbalanced on his feet and fell backward. The figure that knocked him off course landed in front of him with a devious smile plastered on his face. Immediately, Mario recognized him, frowning angrily.

He sported a similar style in clothing as Mario did: heavy denim overalls, a moderately thick undershirt, white gloves, a hat, and boots. This is where the similarities stopped, however. Mario's adversary had purple overalls where Mario's were blue, a yellow undershirt and hat with a turquoise "W" to match, which contrasted Mario's red gear and red "M", and wore dark green, pointed shoes instead of Mario's brown, leather work boots. He was also at least twice as wide as Mario and constantly wore a wide, tooth-bearing smile on his face.

"Of all the times to show up, Wario... Of all the possible times on any given day... Why today and why now?" Mario demanded, rising to his feet and glaring intensely at his twisted knockoff.

"Bowser's paying me some serious gold to make sure you don't follow him. I'm here to guarantee you stay home with broken legs." Wario threatened, his sneer somehow growing wider.

"Wario..." Luigi growled, still in the attic, observing their confrontation through his binoculars. _Mario might be held up for a while, but I know he won't have too much trouble with him. If I don't get there soon, he's gonna leave without me!_

He put away his binoculars and began charging up for a move he perfected for the _Super Smash Brothers Melee_ tournaments: the Green Missile. After carefully aiming where Mario and Wario stood off and charging it for about five seconds, he was finally ready for launch.

"It's Luigi-time!" Luigi exclaimed as he released the energy within him and blasted off.

Unfortunately, he flew a laughably poor distance, barely making it over the awning above Mario's front door.

"Aww, come on!" He screamed, annoyed, as he ran back up to the attic, charged another missile, and launched himself again.

Luigi just made it past the front doorstep this time...

"ARRRGH!! I can _really_ use that misfire right now!" He groaned as he kept on trying.

_Meanwhile... _

Mario and Wario had begun trading blows; dishing out every little trick they knew. Panting hard, Wario made the next move with a destructive shoulder-charging attack. Reacting without hesitation, Mario whipped out his cape and smacked his charging opponent with it, forcing him to run in the opposite direction. Taking advantage of the situation, Mario followed up by throwing several fireballs at an unsuspecting Wario.

Little did Mario know that Wario saved his trump card for this particular moment...

Acting like he was cowering in fear, Wario bent over and covered his head. But right when the fireballs were in proximity of his gargantuan and disgusting glutious-maximus, Wario let out a long, overly-flatulent release of suffocating gas. The moment the fireballs hit the gas barrier, it ignited an incredible explosion, rivaling the force of a searing napalm blast! Overwhelmed by the power of the detonation, Mario was knocked hard onto his back. Wario rose to his feet and laughed at his downed opponent.

"WAAAH HA HAAA!!! You never saw that one coming, did you?!" Wario taunted, grabbing Mario by the collar and lifting him helplessly in the air. "That's something I'm working on for the next Smash tournament! Now... I'll show you why Wario is number one!"

_A little earlier before that happened...__  
_  
"COME ON!!" Luigi screamed in frustration as he tried yet again for a misfire.

And just like the first twenty times, he met with embarrassing failure. The best distance he had gotten all this time was about four feet away from the fence guarding Mario's mushroom garden.

"GRRR!! If I started walking, I would've been there by now!" Luigi realized, letting out a defeated shout of anguish and kicking the ground in anger.

He was just about to give up until he felt an explosion rock the environment.

"Whoa! ...sounded like someone threw a match in a broken gas-pipe." Right when Luigi said that, he felt a lightbulb click on in his head. "GAS!! It's just crazy enough to work!"

Luigi jetted toward Mario's garage and found a half-filled canteen of premium gasoline. Without hesitation, he chugged every last drop and headed back to the window in the attic. He set up one last charge and hoped for the best. With a small explosion, Luigi was sent blazing through the window and toward his destination.

"AT LAST!! A MISFIRE!! YAHOOOOOOOO!!" Luigi hooted as he flew towards the warp-pipe where...

Wario had just jumped into the air to administer the crippling Spinning Piledriver to a very helpless Mario. Once he reached his apex, Wario began the spinning portion of the move, descending speedily toward the ground in a downward spiral. If this connected, Mario's quest would be over before it even started.

But mere seconds before they hit the ground...

BOOM, BABY!!

Luigi crashed directly into Wario. At the exact moment of impact, Wario released his grasp on Mario and dropped him. Mario was able to flip right-side up and land safely on his own two feet. Wario, however, was set ablaze and sent flying into oblivion at otherwise unattainable speeds.

With an acrobatic flip, Luigi landed on his right foot and left knee, then rose to both feet and smiled at his brother.

"So did I cramp your style? Or was getting beat up by Wario part of your image?" Luigi sarcastically wondered with a vengeful smirk.

"Please... I just got caught by surprise." Mario said, trying to play off his near-defeat. "I didn't expect Wario to fart and cause overwhelming explosions, and I doubt you would've either, so you tell me how you'd react."

"Alright, fine. Whatever you say, Mario." Luigi smiled.

Luigi couldn't think of a time he felt greater than he did at that moment. Probably for the first time ever in his life, _he_ felt like the superior brother. He wanted nothing more than to just stand there all day and rub his victory in Mario's face. Well... he wanted that and a camera: just to take a snapshot of Mario's priceless defeated expression. Deciding it was better to ignore his spiteful impulses rather than indulge them, he made his way toward the warp-pipe.

"Well, since I'm here, shall we get moving?" Luigi suggested and jumped into the pipe.

Hesitating, Mario took a quick glance around the area, hoping to find another warp-pipe so he could avoid traveling with his younger brother. But alas, this was the only one for miles...

"Ugh..." Mario groaned as he reluctantly jumped into the yellow warp-pipe after his brother.

After a short while, both brothers appeared on the other side of the pipe. They expected to still be somewhere in their native land, at least. To their surprise, however, they ended up in a completely different planet! Well... not _completely_ different. There was still a brilliantly bright sun warmly smiling upon the land, there was still a pure blue sky stretching on as far as the eye could see, and in the distance there was still a magnificent blue ocean.

What made them automatically know they weren't anywhere familiar, though, was the atmosphere. They couldn't quite explain how their surroundings felt to them. It was just a feeling in the air, making them feel alienated and unwelcome despite the inviting environment.

"Ummm... Where are we?" Luigi questioned, checking his surroundings.

"I never thought warp-pipes could take us this far... We're a _long_ way from home." Mario pointed out.

"How do you know?" Luigi wondered, not quite believing his brother.

"Trust me, I've been a few places in my day." Mario assured. "This is the Green Hill Zone: home of Sonic the Hedgehog."

"I remember him..." Luigi nodded. "Hey... Do you think he could be in cahoots with Bowser? They both really, _really_, don't like you."

"Maybe, but I don't think so. They're on two completely different sides of the spectrum when it comes to hating me." Mario said.

"Hmmm..." Luigi still suspected a possible collaboration between the two.

"Anyway, I think we should leave here, post-haste. It's not just Sonic that can't stand me: I'm public enemy number one over here. And believe it or not, you're number two." Mario added.

Luigi's eyes widened in shock. "WHAT?!! Why?! I never did anything to anyone! I don't even know anyone here! This is my first time ever being here!"

"Hey, don't lose your head over it. They just hate anyone who's in any way, shape, or form, related to me. Unfortunately, you just-so-happen to be my brother. Sorry..." Mario shrugged. "But look at it this way: at least people know who you are here..."

"Shut up." Luigi promptly replied.

Mario let out a quick giggle. "Anyway, let's get going before someone catches us here. Remember that fork in the pipe we saw on the way here? Let's take the right-side this... time..."

Mario trailed off in his sentence when he noticed a blazingly quick blue blur running circles around him and Luigi. Just as quickly as it was noticed, the blur then smashed right into the preoccupied brothers, knocking them flat on their backs. The blur finally stopped running and stood over the floored brothers, staring at them with malicious intent.

"Sonic..." Mario growled as he sat up and tried to keep a defensive stance on the ground.

"What are you doing here?" Sonic spat.

Mario rose to his feet, defensively. "Trust me; we're not here on vacation or anything. You think I'd consider this hell-hole a resort? We took a wrong turn in a warp-pipe and ended up here by accident. I didn't even know warp-pipes could take you this far."

"Don't give me that crap!" Sonic shouted. "We've been at each other's throats for a long time now. You think I'm stupid enough to actually believe you just tripped into a warp-pipe and magically appeared here? There's no way it'd bring you this far!"

"But it did." Luigi pointed Sonic in the direction of the culprit.

Lo and behold, there was a yellow warp-pipe sticking out of the ground. Sonic was stunned, but didn't show any outward signs. He kept his composure, still wearing that menacing grill.

"Forget about that for now." Luigi continued. "I don't know what you're trying to pull, but I know the truth!" He claimed, pointing an accusing finger right at Sonic's forehead.

"What are you talking about?" Sonic wondered.

"Don't feign ignorance with me!" Luigi accused, heatedly hopping to his feet. "You and Bowser are in on this together! Now bring us to wherever you're are keeping Peach or I'll immediately... umm... show you... errmmm..." He paused. He was having a hard time thinking of a closing threat.

_NO!! I'm on a roll! I can't stop now! I have him right where I want him! The sooner I can think of a great finisher, the sooner we can save Peach! Think, Luigi! THINK!!_

"I'll... immediately... ...show... you... umm... ...how to... cry! Oh yeah. _That's_ the ticket." Luigi said with a sly look of satisfaction on his face and slickly holding the straps of his overalls with his thumbs.

Sonic just stood by with a stupefied look engraved on his face, occasionally looking over to Mario as if to ask "is he serious?"

"Wow, Luigi..." Mario muttered, stunned by Luigi impressive knack for being non-threatening. "From now on, _I'll_ do the intimidating. You just sit idly by, trying to look tough."

"Let me get this straight... You think _I_ would work with Bowser?" Sonic questioned, obviously shocked by Luigi's accusations. "I wouldn't be caught dead working with that loser! I guarantee it, or my name isn't Sonic the Hedgehog!" He enthusiastically stated, doing some type of jig and ending it with a "cool" pose: sticking up his pointer finger and waving it from side to side.

Suddenly, music started playing: some type of synthesizer accompanied by a drum, to keep the rhythm on beat. Then, the words to Sonic's theme song from his old _Sonic the Hedgehog_ show began blaring throughout the environment at full volume.

_Blue streak! Speeds by...__  
Sonic the Hedgehog!  
Too fast! For the naked eye...  
Sonic the Hedgehog!  
Sonic!  
He can really move!  
Sonic!  
He's got an ATTITUDE!  
Sonic!  
He is the FAST-EST thing a-liiive!_

"Oh... my... God... I _cannot_ believethis..." Mario groaned, utterly floored by the brutal banality of Sonic's anthem. "And what the hell are you two doing?!"

With those words, the music cut itself off, abruptly. Luigi and Sonic found themselves inexplicably in each other's arms. Immediately putting an end to their rhythm-less dancing, they exchanged unsure glances and slowly backed away from each other.

"That, right there, is the reason you'll never be as famous as me, Sonic." Mario stated. "Did you ever listen to the words of that song? In fact, why do you have words in your theme song, anyway?! A _real_ theme song doesn't need some ultimately worthless words to let people know what you're all about! What are you trying to do: remind everyone of what makes you Sonic? That's pitiful! When people hear my song, they automatically know what I'm all about! Keep that garbage up and someone will steal your spotlight. No, no, too late. I hear Shadow is _much_ more popular than you these days."

"That's a lie and you know it!" Sonic yelled, getting especially heated at the mention of his dark antithesis. "I'll show you what I'm all about!"

Sensing the inevitable battle, Mario could only put up his dukes.

Sonic curled up into a ball and spun, emitting a strong whirring sound. At a high velocity, he charged at Mario with his patented Spinball Dash. Mario skillfully countered with a ball of his own: an explosive fireball sourced from the palm of his hand. Sonic was hit hard and flew backward from the impact while Mario pursued, trying to finish off his blue adversary quickly.

Sonic suddenly recovered during mid-flight and flew back at the jumping Mario with a blazing Homing Attack. He collided with Mario's face, knocking him out of the air. As Mario fell, Sonic closed in and opted for another Homing Attack. Just before he could make contact, Mario reacted with a Mario Tornado, sucking in Sonic and engulfing him in a torrent of quick but effective punches to any open spot. The final hit knocked Sonic helplessly into the air.

Figuring this was the perfect time for one of his favorite moves, Mario jumped after the floating blue hedgehog and attacked him with a painful aerial uppercut best known as the Super Jump Punch. With each hit Mario landed, a generous amount of coins materialized and rained down to the ground below them. Just as Mario landed from his aerial onslaught, he noticed Luigi scrambling to collect as many of the scattered coins as he could.

"That's just petty..." Mario let out a sigh of disapproval as he refocused on Sonic, who just fell to the ground, on his back.

Mario then charged at the grounded Sonic, but skidded to a halt when Sonic frog-hopped to his feet. With him in his sights, Sonic turned on the afterburners and jetted toward Mario at full speed. Anticipating Sonic to run right into his attack, Mario ducked into a position to deliver a break-dance smash and let it off right when he came close enough. He hit nothing but empty space, though. In a sudden display of agile finesse, Sonic flipped over Mario's head and threw out his limbs as if he was releasing a burst of energy.

"SONIC WIND!!" Sonic screamed with his arms and legs fully outstretched.

He _did_ release a burst of energy! A blue vortex radiated from Sonic's body and fell right on top of Mario, plunging him into a world of hurt. The swirling, gusting wind threatened to rip Mario to shreds, sending wave after wave of unbearable pain through his body.

The tornado finally subsided, carelessly dumping Mario on the floor in a beaten and battered heap on the ground. Sonic easily walked up to his downed opponent and prepared to deal his finishing move. Placing his hands right on Mario's chest, Sonic closed his eyes as if he was concentrating on something. His hands began to glow a bright yellow. Suddenly, with a "poof", Mario disappeared. In his stead, there was a red ball with an "M" on the face. Mario had just been finished by Sonic's Magic Hands attack from _Sonic Adventure 2_. Sonic began laughing victoriously as he tossed the ball up and caught it in one hand.

"I hope you didn't plan on winning! There was no way I was gonna lose to you! Now you get to enjoy your new life as a toy in Chao Kindergarten!" Sonic said, beginning to walk off.

"Hey, Sonic! Don't forget about me!" Luigi exclaimed, charging at Sonic at full speed.

"You're still here? Dealing with you isn't even wor--" Sonic started, but was never able to complete his sentence

While he was talking, he turned around. Luigi suddenly appeared right in his face, in prime position to deliver his own modified version of the Super Jump Punch.

"SHORYUU-KEN!!" Luigi shouted as he dealt Sonic a detrimentally powerful uppercut.

The punch ignited Sonic, sending him blazing into the stratosphere at lightning speeds. Sonic also dropped the Mario ball he had just created. As soon as the ball hit the ground, it popped like a balloon. Out of nowhere, Mario reappeared, still in pain and looking too confused for words to describe.

"Luigi: 2. Bad guys: 0. Mario: -1." Luigi announced with a triumphant grin.

"How do I have negative...?" Mario trailed off in his confusion. "You know what? I don't even care. Let's just get the hell out of here."

"As soon as you admit that you needed me." Luigi said, blocking the way.

"Fine! I'll admit it! You're the greatest Mario brother ever! I'm nothing compared to you!" Mario sarcastically shouted, pushing past his brother. "I'll deal with your ego-trips later. Let's just get back to that warp-pipe before something else happens."

They headed toward the pipe. Mario hurriedly jumped in first, leaving Luigi to tail him. Before Luigi jumped into the warp-pipe, he noticed the entire sky flash a tinge of gold. It seemed to come from behind him. Luigi turned around and searched the sky. A twinkle appeared and a seemingly celestial body bulleted toward the earth.

Luigi was in awe. The figure was engulfed in a golden flame, with a sort of comet tail trailing behind him. The more he studied it, the more it seemed like it was on a crash-course collision with him.

Finally, the body was close enough for Luigi to recognize. To his incredible horror, it was a very irate Sonic engulfed in those golden flames, as he had attained his super form. His eyes glowed an icy blue as he voraciously bulleted toward a stunned Luigi.

"Oh my god!! NOOOOOOO!!!" Luigi screamed.

He attempted to dive to the floor, in hopes of avoiding the impossibly speedy Sonic. Sadly, Luigi poorly underestimated Sonic's speed in this form and wasn't even able to bend his legs. Sonic swooped down and literally claimed Luigi's crown, knocking it clean off his shoulders at an amazing speed. It splattered against the base of the warp-pipe, sending a hard quake through its foundation.

"What was that?" Mario said from within the warp-pipe, feeling the vibration. "...where's Luigi?!" He frantically wondered, suddenly realizing he was still alone in the pipe.

Mario jumped back up to the surface to check the situation. Everything seemed normal enough. ...until he tripped over Luigi's decapitated body...

Struck with unspeakable terror, Mario knelt down and touched the body. He was beside himself in disbelief. He was praying this was a sick, cruel joke. Reality ripped out his heart and stomped on it, though, when he saw the graphic bloodstain on the base of the warp-pipe. He shakily walked up to the mess and wiped a lone finger across the blood. He gazed at the stain on his finger. This was as real as it got. This was heart-wrenching verification that his brother had been viciously and mercilessly murdered.

"NOOOO!!!" Mario bellowed at the sky with tightly clenched fists, tears streaming out of his eyes and down his cheeks.

Just then, he caught a glimpse of the golden Super Sonic circling the sky, like a hawk stalking its prey. Upon the sight, Mario's sadness turned into an uncontrollable rage.

"YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!!! YOU KILLED MY BROTHER!!! You killed him..." Mario trailed off, the sadness gripping his heart once again.

This was only temporary, as he noticed Sonic begin his rapid decent, planning on claiming Mario's head as well.

Mario wasn't having that. He waited right in front of the warp-pipe, counting down the moment Sonic would be close enough for him to act. With pinpoint precision, Mario backflipped right over Sonic when he made the swoop. Not expecting that sudden move, Sonic slammed straight into the hard, steel base of the warp-pipe, knocking himself unconscious and reverting back to his normal, blue self.

Mario couldn't be happier with this result as he thought of what to do next after he landed. Unfortunately for him, he put too much spring in his jump, launching himself right back into the warp-pipe. As soon as fell through the opening, the warp-pipe lowered itself into the ground, sealing the entrance back to Green Hill Zone.

A few seconds later, Mario was spit out into another foreign land. The renegade yellow pipe promptly vanished into the ground as soon as he hit the floor. Tenderly rising up to his feet, he dusted himself off and looked around. He seemed to have ended up in the middle of a dried-up lake. Instead of finding himself under a bright, blue sky and brilliant sun this time, nothing but a clamoring thunderstorm shook the heavens.

The grim look of the environment suddenly reminded Mario of his lost brother.

_I tried as hard as I could to keep him out of my hair... I even wrote him a note telling him to go home... Why didn't he listen? He'd still be alright if he just stayed back. But if he stayed home... what would've happened to me? He saved me twice: once from death, and once from a fate worse than death. Twice he saved my life. _Two times_ And I couldn't even help him once..._ Tears began to welled up in Mario's eyes. He quickly wiped them away. _How can I save Peach if I can't even protect my own little brother? There's no way I can do this alone. And no one will want to help me after they find out what I let happen to Luigi._

Mario looked up into the sky regretfully. Lightning lit up the dark, gray clouds, sounding off a booming thunder. It was as if the environment was mocking him, trying to imitate the storm of emotions he felt inside of him. The thunderstorm was nowhere near as brutal and malevolent as what Mario was feeling.

"Looks like you finally won, Bowser. Congratulation." Mario muttered, defeated and completely hopeless.

He began to walk, but without any idea where he was or where to go. All he knew was that he'd simply walk until he couldn't walk anymore.

Not traveling too far from where the warp-pipe spat him out, Mario noticed three particularly large bug-looking creatures surrounding a downed body. The figure looked unconscious and the monsters looked hungry. Figuring it was none of his business, Mario continued walking. _Who am I to mess with Fate_, he thought to himself. With each step he took, however, his conscious nagged at him.

_"So you're going to let another person die?"_

He looked back over to the three monsters. They were on top of the unconscious body, ferociously tugging at his clothes. With a reluctant sigh, he turned to his right and headed straight for the group of monsters known as Tektites, and commenced dealing them an epic pummeling. It actually felt good for him to release that pent-up rage on something. Within seconds, he disposed of the threatening monsters and saved a life. He looked down at the unconscious character and gasped in surprise.

The green tunic.

The green hood.

The blonde hair.

The pointy ears.

The sword and shield.

All of these traits he unmistakably recognized.

"At least I know where I am now." Mario said as he knelt down and tried to shake awake the highly familiar face. "Link! I know you can hear me. I just saved your life, so the least you can do to show your appreciation is wake up."

Link only responded with the occasional twitching.

"Okay, we'll do it this way: I'll either wake you up with water or with fireballs. It all depends on if you twitch within the next five seconds." Mario offered.

Link replied with a twitch three seconds later.

"Fireballs, it is." Mario decided, sending a volley of flaming balls.

"...huh...?" Link groggily groaned, finally stirring awake.

He was just in time to feel the red-hot flames kiss his body, subsequently setting him on fire.

"AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!! BOLERO OF FIRE ON MY ASS!!" Link screamed as he frantically jumped to his feet and dove into the deep pool he failed to land in earlier. "Aaaahhhhh... Sweet Nayru, satisfaction..."

He heard a disappointed sigh come from his left side. He turned and saw Mario, to his surprise. Mario was standing there with his arms crossed, shaking his head.

"Holy Din! Mario!" Link exclaimed.

Swimming out of the water, Link excitedly walked up to Mario, holding his hand out. Mario responded by reaching his hand out as well, and Link pulled him in to give him a quick, wet hug. Mario was a little upset about that, but let it go.

"It's been a boilin' minute since we last saw each other! In fact, last time we chilled was durin' the endin' ceremony for the Smash tournament! What are you doin' here, man?!" Link eagerly asked.

"So much has happened, it just boggles my mind. I really don't know what I'm doing here." Mario admitted. "A warp-pipe just spit me out here after I jumped in. I wouldn't even be in this mess if Bowser didn't kidnap Peach again. When I find him, he's got hell to pay." He promised, menacingly punching his palm.

"You're lookin' for Bowser?! I shoulda known." Link said, lightly knocking on his head. "My man, Bowser is here! He's at Ganondorf's castle along with Peach and Zelda."

Mario's eyes went wide, actually twinkling with hope.

"Are you serious?!" Mario excitedly gasped. "Where's that?"

"Somewhere waaaaaay over there." Link pointed out in the direction of Hyrule Field.

"That far out? Then what are you doing over here?" Mario wondered.

"Man, I just wanna block out what happened to me. It was all too grim..." Link then explained everything that happened up until the time he fell unconscious.

"Wow... You've definitely been through some type of hell. But I'm pretty sure I've had it worse." Mario began explaining his adventure right up until the current moment.

"Oh... man... Luigi..." Link muttered.

"It's all my fault... I shouldn't have been so quick to leave him... I should've known Sonic would come back for blood..." Mario muttered, resurrecting his feelings of regret and pity, and becoming overly emotional.

"Yo, chill out. You cryin' isn't gonna bring him back." Link said, trying to calm Mario down. "But you askin' me can."

"What?" Mario's face curled up in confusion, unsure of what he just heard. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm sayin' I can stop Luigi from ever gettin' killed. I can erase that event from history!" Link affirmed.

"You're lying..." Mario said in disbelief.

"C'mon, think about it. I'm the Hero of Time!" Link's heroic fanfare suddenly blared throughout the relative silence of the environment. "And I have the Ocarina of Time! It's a match made in Heaven! We could just go back to where Luigi got murked, play the Song of Time, save his ass, and jet back to Hyrule!" Link explained.

"Easier said than done..." Mario sighed. "We'd have to find a way to get to the Green Hill Zone, first. A warp-pipe bought me here, but I don't know if it'll bring us back."

"I don't even think warp-pipes exist here." Link couldn't recall ever seeing a warp-pipe in Hyrule. "And what about Ganondorf and Bowser? We still gotta take care of them."

"As much as Peach means to me, Luigi's my only brother." Mario stated. "I have to go back and make things right. He shouldn't have died there. He should be here with us. I need to bring him back before I go for Bowser. I hope you understand."

"I got you, man. We'll see each other through this deal until the end." Link assured him.

"Thanks a lot, Link." Mario replied appreciatively with a warm smile.

Both of them reached their right hand out and clapped them together, as a way of sealing the agreement. And with that, they made their way out of the dried lake and towards Hyrule Field where they hoped to find a clue that would lead them back to the scene of a most heinous crime: the Green Hill Zone.


	4. Getting Where You Need To Go

**Act 4****: _Getting Where You Need To Go_**

Beginning their new joint venture, Mario and Link left the dismal, dried-up Lake Hylia and traveled the vast plains of Hyrule Field. Although they felt infinitely more confident that things would turn out for the better once they teamed up, they still had no idea where to go. And between the ominously dark clouds, the roaring thunder, and the unforgiving winds, things were looking magnificently grim. They weren't going to falter, though. Mario and Link made silent vows to themselves that they'd never give up, no matter what the costs. Them finding each other was an act of Fate. They wouldn't have met up if they were meant to fail.

As they walked through Hyrule Field, Link noticed Mario looking particularly ponderous. _He's probably thinkin' about savin' Peach and bringin' back Luigi_, Link thought to himself. Still, he felt he had to indulge his curiosity.

"You've been mad quiet ever since we left Lake Hylia. Somethin' up?" Link asked.

Mario glanced at Link, then shook his head.

"It's nothing serious. Just something that's been bugging me ever since you mentioned you had the ocarina." Mario said.

"And what would that be?" Link wondered.

"Well, back in the first Smash tournament, I remember reading your biography. It said you gave back the Ocarina of Time to Zelda after you beat Ganondorf. If that's true, then how do you still have it?" Mario asked.

A devious smile slowly curled Link's lips.

"What Zelda don't know won't hurt her." He deviously laughed. "I taxed her ocarina and played the Song of Time to go back to when I had one. I told my past-self to give it up, but he said he needed it. I told him I needed it more, and asked him again to give it up. But he was ready to fight me for it!"

"...what'd you do?" Mario wondered, though not particularly sure he wanted to hear more.

"What I had to do. I nearly killed him for it, but I said 'chill'. I knew what would happen if I did. So after I stole it, I came back to the present time and returned Zelda's ocarina. Now there's two of 'em!"

Mario just stood there, shocked by what he just heard.

"You know what's funny, though? I have memories of gettin' beat-down and havin' my ocarina stolen by myself. I'm a pretty grimey fighter." Link realized. "And me stealin' the ocarina from myself shoulda just created another timeline where I didn't have it when I was savin' Hyrule. I think I created a paradox."

"That's great, Link." Mario sarcastically congratulated him. "And some day in the future, Hyrule will become a sunken city that only exists through legend; all because you cataclysmically screwed up its timeline by stealing the ocarina from yourself."

"Yeah, sure, like that'll ever happen!" Link laughed, amused by Mario's grim prediction. "Enough about time-travel. We should be figurin' out how to get to Green Hill Zone. Any plans? Suggestions, maybe?"

"Asking around is always a good plan, right?" Mario suggested. "There are sages in your world. One of them should to know how to get there."

"I doubt it. The only other person in Hyrule that's been off this planet, other than me and Zelda, is Ganondorf. I can't exactly ask him 'where the hell is Green Hill Zone?'" Link replied. "After him, I can't think of anybody else."

"Ah, but the one who would know where Green Hill Zone is could be right above you!" An unknown voice called to them from above.

"Huh?" Link and Mario said as they looked up.

Perched high in one of the sporadically placed oak trees of the field, there was one large, brown-feathered owl. Exceedingly wise and almost all-knowing, he was known throughout Hyrule as Kaepora Gaebora.

Link was the only one that didn't think so highly of him.

"For the love of Nayru, not you again..." Link groaned, slapping his hand to his forehead in aggravation. "Listen, if you know somethin', just say it! Don't start talkin' about some B.S. that no one cares about."

"Link, my boy, you know very well that I would tell you immediately where your Green Hill Zone is... if only I knew! I don't know where it may be!" Kaepora chuckled as he turned his head upside-down.

"What? Wait, wait... You just said you did!" Mario exclaimed.

"Hoo hoo! You've spoken English for so long and yet you still don't understand it! I said 'the one who would know where Green Hill Zone is _could_ be right above you'. 'Could' is a conditional. An 'I might know' or an 'I might not know', if you will. But oh, how unfortunate you two are! I have no clue where that may be!" The owl repeated jubilantly.

"Where did you meet him?" Mario said as Kaepora started his hooting laughter.

"I didn't meet him! _He_ met _me_!" Link defensively shouted. "The very first time I left Kokiri Forest, he just showed up and started talkin'. And when I tried to leave, he followed me! It just doesn't stop! Even when I sleep, I still hear him talkin' to me in my dreams! It's been like this for the last ten years..." He sighed, hanging and shaking his head.

"Wow... That's just... ...wow... I'm sorry..." Mario sighed as he put his hand on Link's shoulder, offering compassion. "Well, regardless of how much he denies it, I know he has the info we want. We'll just have to find a way to 'persuade' him into telling us."

Suddenly, Link pulled out his Hookshot and shot it at the owl, reeling him over to where they were standing.

"Yeah, that works." Mario said.

Holding him a little lower than eye-level, Link glared threateningly down into Kaepora's wise and astute, but at the current moment fearful, eyes. The owl may have been all-knowing, but at that time, he didn't know what to expect from Link.

"Don't lie to me, oh 'wise' owl." Link said, sarcastically. "I know you know somethin'. Start talkin', or else..." He threatened, ominously.

"Or else what? You cannot harm the wise. Only a fool would do something so senseless!" Kaepora yammered, fearlessly.

"Pull out a wing, Mario." Link ordered, refusing to break his stone-cold glare into the owl's eyes. Mario did so and Link placed his sword underneath it, slowly beginning to slice upward. "The info we need, or your right wing. Choose, mofo." Link said dangerously, keeping that ice-glare frozen onto Kaepora's face.

"You wouldn't dare! The child in you wouldn't allow it!" Kaepora exclaimed.

"Wanna bet?" Link said and started slicing upward, taking a few feathers as he cut.

"Ha-hoo-hoo!" Kaepora laughed, despite his unfavorable position. "That's as far as you'll go. I know you! I've known you for ten years! I've seen the way you act. I can read you like a book! It will be impossible for you to--"

Kaepora abruptly stopped talking when he felt the sword separating his wing from its socket. He tried to bear the indescribable agony, but couldn't take it as the Master Sword began finding its way up through the bone.

"Alright, I'll talk!" He hollered in pain with Link still cutting upward, but slowing the cutting rate. "You must go... to Death Mountain... eeugh... ...where the Gorons live. There is a room with a lava pool in... GAH!!" The owl suddenly shouted.

"Talk quick and it'll be over." Link encouraged, further slowing his cutting rate.

"...there's a room with a lava pool in the middle. You must use the... Hookshot... to make it over the lava and to a warp-pipe... resting on the other side." Link stopped his cutting, altogether, after hearing that. "I cannot guarantee it will take you where you need to go, though." Kaepora said after sighing a breath of relief.

"We got it, Link." Mario nodded, still holding the wing out. "You can let him go now."

Link took a look at Mario, then turned his attention to a suffering Kaepora Gaebora, who was now breathing hard, most likely because of the pain he was in. Figuring he had enough torture, Link decided to let him go.

"Thanks a lot." Link said and relinquished his hold on the owl.

But not before inhumanely hacking off Kaepora's right wing. Link then carelessly tossed him to the floor as the owl let out one long hoot of unfathomable pain.

"Ugh..." Mario groaned as he watched the one-winged owl writhe in all types of pain on the ground. "Ugh!" He suddenly gasped, disgustedly, after realizing he was still holding the dismembered wing and throwing it to the ground.

"GREAT FARORE, WHY?!!" The owl bawled. "Not my wing! My beautiful wing! That was my wise wing you... you... IMBECILE!" He yelled in seething rage. "Words cannot do justice to the disappointment I feel towards you! I told you what you wanted, you... IN_sensitive_ cretin! I can't believe you would do such a thing to me! _Me_, of all people! Did our friendship mean _anything_ at all?"

"Friendship? FRIENDSHIP?!!" Link repeated, thoroughly appalled at the thought of a comradeship with him. "Whatever the hell we had was _nowhere_ near a friendship!" He shouted back. "You appeared outta _nowhere_ one day and scared the shit outta me! I was just a little kid! Do you know how many freakin' nightmares I had about you? I thought I made it obvious that I hated you! But for ten FUCKING years you followed me around and pissed me off to no end! What the hell is wrong with you? In fact, what the hell is wrong with _everyone_?! How the hell can they think someone so _stupid_ can be so wise?!"

Kaepora was shot down hard upon this reality check, not even feeling the pain of an improperly amputated wing after hearing Link's enraged outburst. Now that he thought about it, Link _did_ make it abundantly clear that he wanted nothing to do with him all these years. But he couldn't understand why he continued to pester him. He couldn't think of any reason other than his disillusioned thought that Link needed him. Kaepora then rose to his feet, hanging his head in shame and utter humiliation.

"Link... I wasn't aware you felt this way." He admitted. "And for the life of me, I don't know why. All these years, I just..." The owl couldn't find the words to describe what he was thinking. "...I'm... I'm sorry. Although after all the mental torture I put you through, I'm sure my apology means nothing."

Link's anger quickly subsided as he listened to Kaepora's sincere words. Feeling regret towards what he just did, Link picked up the maimed limb and faced a tearing Kaepora.

"Listen... Don't think your words are gonna switch my opinions about you. What I feel towards you is never gonna change." Link stated. "But... I'll admit I ODed when I cut your wing off. Sorry... I can fix it with Zelda's Lullaby, though."

"Really?" Kaepora's eyes brightened up. "You would do that... for _me_?"

"I said I would, right? Just bend over a little and spread your wings..." Link paused. "My bad... Spread your _wing_ out like you're about to take off." He instructed.

"Like this?" The owl asked, assuming the position.

"A little more..." Link said, watching the owl fix his position. "Grand. Yo, Mario, hold the wing in place." He said, turning to Mario and handing him the wing.

"Right here, right?" Mario questioned, putting the wing right where it should've been.

"Right there." Link repositioned the wing slightly, then pulled out his ocarina.

"Thank you... friend." Kaepora sniffled gratefully with a subtle smile.

Link began to play the soothing melody Zelda would fall asleep to as a child.

_Left-C, Up-C, Right-C_

_Left-C, Up-C, Right-C_

_Left-C, flat Up-C..._

"PSYCH!!" Link suddenly yelled, ripping the ocarina away from his lips.

Before anyone could even react, Link tore the wing out of Mario's hands, spun around behind the bent-over owl, and jammed more than half of his own wing directly up Kaepora's backside, sending a shockwave of unimaginable agony.

"WWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" The owl cried, somehow taking flight and flying like some sort of crazed, one-winged bat out of hell.

Link was beside himself in immoral amusement. He fell to the floor, laughing himself senseless and clutching his abdomen in pain. He was laughing so hard, it reawakened his earlier stomach injuries. Perhaps that was his punishment for doing such an outlandishly vile thing but it didn't seem to be enough, as Link shrugged it off and continued his nonstop cackles.

"I can't... _believe_ you just did that." Mario said, thoroughly shocked and disgusted by how twisted Link could be. "Let's just go. Please."

"Holy Din..." Link sighed tiredly, holding his stomach. "Yeah, we're goin'."

He took one more look at the crazed and howling Kaepora Gaebora and burst out laughing again.

"LINK!!" Mario shouted, impatiently.

"Alright, man, chill out! We're goin'!" Link assured Mario, leading the way towards Death Mountain, but not before letting a few snickers escape.

_Meanwhile, at Ganondorf's Castle...___

Ganondorf, keeping an eye on all of Hyrule with his 60-inch plasma-screen surveillance monitor from his Chillin' Vill'in sofa, just picked up Link and Mario heading towards Kakariko Village, where the entrance to the Death Mountain Trail lied.

"I knew it! I fuckin' knew it! Link is _still_ breathin'. I shoulda bet a rupee on that." He wished as he sat up. "_And_ he met up with Mario! But like dumbasses, they ain't comin' this way... What's the deal wit' that? I know they want their bitches back." Ganondorf said, stroking his chin in wonderment.

"Hey, why are you in such a hurry for them to get here? The longer they take, the more time we have these girls to ourselves. As long as they're not coming this way, I'm cool." Bowser stated in a reclined position on a couch as Peach lit him a cigar and Zelda gave him a pedicure.

Just realizing Zelda was actually tending to Bowser's demands; Ganondorf grew uneasy and was slightly offended.

"You know, B-boss..." Ganondorf started. "Mi casa es su casa, but I don't appreciate you havin' the broad _I_ kidnapped abidin' to your every command. That shit ain't cool... You didn't kidnap her. You don't deserve shit from her." He stated, pointing a threatening finger at Bowser. "And I'm not down wit' the smokin'..."

"Wait a minute... You think kidnapping _earns_ you this treatment?" Bowser said, surprised at such an "amateur" kidnapping statement while respectfully putting out his cigar. "You kidding me, Ganondorf? Take it from the master of disaster; kidnapping really earns you nothing. You can kidnap a girl and she'll still try to resist you every step of the way. The real prize comes from sheer ruthlessness and piss-her-panties intimidation." Bowser explained, clenching his fist in an intimidating fashion. "You gotta _make _her do what you want."

"I don't give a fuck, son! I still don't like the way you on my chick!" Ganondorf raised his voice, making like he was about to rise to feet and growing more upset with each nail Zelda clipped off Bowser's toes.

"Take it easy, Ganondorf." Bowser said, holding his hand out like a "halt" sign, unthreatened by Ganondorf's actions. "Looks like you need some convincing."

Grabbing Peach by the wrist, Bowser threw her arm toward Ganondorf, sending Peach stumbling clumsily to him and ultimately falling into his lap. She looked up to Ganondorf with fearful eyes, and then glanced back to Bowser.

"You know what to do." Bowser ordered, snorting a flare streak from his nose.

Nodding nervously, Peach made her way to Ganondorf's back and began giving him a sensual shoulder massage. Moaning with tension-relieved contentment, Ganondorf finally calmed down.

"Awww, yeah... I see what you mean on the intimidation tip. This is what I'm talkin' 'bout!" Ganondorf hummed, relaxing even more than before.

"Mi hostage es su hostage." Bowser articulated with a horrid Spanish accent.

Ganondorf started laughing, followed by Bowser's guffaws. The laughs continued until Bowser noticed Zelda giggling to herself with a hand clasped over her mouth.

"What?! You shouldn't be laughing! Now lick my toes, bitch!" Bowser ordered and smacked Zelda's booty, which was waving in the air.

_Also, in the corner of Peach's castle...  
_  
"Ooooooo, this isn't so bad once you get used to it. Maybe I should tell the others about this. We can all do it together! Let's see if I can get in as far as my elbow this time!"

_Back with Mario and Link at the gate entrance to the Death Mountain Trail in __Kakariko__Village_

The duo stood in front of the gate, staring up at the furious Death Mountain volcano in the distance. A bright red, ominous ring circled the opening, making it seem like the peak would blow at any given moment.

"Hey, Link." The guard in front of the gate greeted, averting their attention to him. "Off to scale the Death Mountain Trail?"

"Yeah, man. We got places to go and peeps to see. Open the gate for us." Link said.

"Before you go, can you do me a favor? Get me the Keaton mask so I can give it to my son." The guard told Link, not even waiting for an answer.

"What?" Link's face screwed up in disbelief toward the request. "You know it's been ten years since the shop shut down! Besides, your son is as old as me now!"

"Well. I guess we have a problem, then. If I can't get what I want, neither will you! This gate will not open until I'm wearing a Keaton mask." The guard stated, pounding his lance into the ground in an authoritive fashion.

Link raised a confused eyebrow. "I thought you said it was for your son." He remembered.

"I say a lot of things." The guard casually replied.

"You can't be serious..." Mario groaned in disbelief. "What are we gonna do now?"

"This ain't a problem. Remember who I am." Link stated, posing with the Master Sword, holding it up in the air.

The sun somehow broke through the thick, black clouds and shined upon Link and the Master Sword. The sunlight reflected brightly off the blade, shining so intensely it made Mario and the guard shield their eyes. Link suddenly looked unnecessarily epic.

"Oh yeah. You're the legendary 'Hero of Time'." Mario said, mimicking quotation marks with his fingers. Link's fanfare suddenly blared throughout the relative silence of the town. "That's so annoying..." He sighed with a hand over his ear. "So what are you gonna do? Go back in time and steal a Keaton mask from yourself?"

"Even better!" Link said and swiftly guided his blade through the guard's stomach without any sort of warning.

"Holy Din! I'm dying..." The guard gasped and simply died.

Mario was flabbergasted by how unnecessarily spontaneous that was.

"...wow... That was unexpected..." He finally managed to utter after a good twenty seconds of stunned silence. "You know, Link... I don't know how _anyone_ can consider you a hero after seeing the things I've seen you do." Mario stated.

"He pissed me off." Link replied, showing no remorse and sheathing his sword. "Besides, no one liked him, anyway. He won't be missed."

"But how'll we get to Goron City now? The gate's still closed and that dead guard was the only one that could open it!" Mario exclaimed, upset at Link's inability to think before he acted.

"So? I don't need no damn gate to open!" Link stated.

With a running start, Link hoped onto the gate and pulled himself over. He flipped over the top effortlessly and landed on his feet. Link looked back at Mario through the gate while dusting his hands off and nodding satisfactorily, starting up the beaten path toward Goron City.

Mario was left speechless. He was just amazed by Link's unpredictablility.

_If this is what I have to go through for the rest of the journey, I should just jump into that volcano up there and get it over with. I can see Link getting both of us killed..._ is what Mario thought to himself.

Snapping out of his awe, he ran toward the gate as well, executed a perfect side-somersault over the gate, and landed, running up the beaten path as well to catch up to Link.

_A few minutes later...___

"We're finally here." Mario sighed, relieved as the two stood in the entrance of Goron City.

The first thing they noticed was that there were a lot of doorways leading into separate chambers of the city. If they weren't careful, it would be a while before they actually found what they were looking for.

"Alright, Link. Lead the way." Mario commanded.

"It's been a while since the last time I was here, so I don't exactly remember which room the lava room is." Link said.

"Then why don't we ask one of these guys?" Mario suggested, pointing to the nearest Goron.

"Screw that idea! I'd rather go explorin'." Link said.

With that, Link walked off and entered the first room he walked by. Having no choice but to follow, Mario walked in as well. What they saw in that room would be forever grafted into their minds...

Two Gorons: going at it hard, fast, and heavy. Link and Mario just stood in the doorway, frozen in their shock and embarrassment.

"...do you two fucking mind?" One of the Gorons angrily snapped.

"Oh snap! Sorry!" Link apologized as they both quickly left the room, extremely embarrassed.

"_I'll_ pick the next room!" Mario growled angrily and went through another doorway.

They walked down a long corridor. As they made it deeper in, a catchy tune perked their ears up. They continued their trek until they hit a rock-walled dead-end.

"Dead-end..." Mario sighed with disappointment. "Well... at least the music is catchy." He shrugged. "I just _really_ hope the lava room isn't on the other side..."

Link didn't reply. Tapping his foot to the light-hearted tune, he was deep in though, thinking about where he knew this place from. In an instant, something clicked in his mind.

"OH!! I know _exactly_ where this is!" Link suddenly remembered. "We're right in front of the Lost Woods! It's like Kokiri Forest's backyard. Not too far from Lake Hylia, either. In fact, it wasn't too far from where we met that damn owl. If we just made an about-face and walked a few paces, we coulda been here a lot quicker."

"You can't be serious..." Mario groaned, shaking his head in disappointment. "You mean to tell me that you killed a man and we scaled Death Mountain for no reason? We coulda saved an hour of traveling time?! You IDIOT!!" He shouted. "Every extra second we take getting to Green Hill Zone is another second Peach and Zelda will spend getting tortured! They've probably been through twelve types of hell already! Who knows how much more they could take..." Mario said, worrying about what Peach and Zelda could possibly be going through.

_In Ganondorf's Castle...__  
_  
"HA HA HA HA HAAAA!!!" Ganondorf and Bowser maniacally laughed as Peach and Zelda were in the middle of a foxy-boxing match.

Zelda just caught Peach with a devastating open-palmed slap to the left cheek.

"That's right, Zelda! Smack that ho!" Ganondorf cheered, raising a fist of encouragement.

_Returning to the entrance of the Lost Woods..._

"Chill out, man. Try not to worry about them for a while. You gotta keep your eye on the prize, my man, and right now, that's getting where you need to go." Link said.

Mario could only slowly nod in agreement. "Okay. Then find us that lava room."

Leading the way back through Goron City, they walked by another doorway. A sudden gust of heat hit their skins. They turned to each other and nodded, entering the muggy room. Just as they expected, they stood before a deep pool of lava. Across the pool lied a blue warp-pipe.

"Yes! There it is!" Mario exclaimed with a new tone of happiness and hope in his voice. "I never thought I'd be so happy to see one of those."

Link scanned the opposite side to see where he can latch on with his Hookshot. A post beside the pipe held the answer.

"There we go." Link said to himself, noticing the post. "Alright, I know you don't wanna risk jumpin' over all that, so hold on to the handle." He said, holding out the handle.

As soon as Mario grabbed on, Link shot off his Hookshot directly at the target at the head of the post. The tip of the Hookshot latched on tightly to the post and reeled them safely over the boiling pool of lava. They now stood in front of the blue warp-pipe, more than ready to jump in and face the next challenge.

"Hopefully, this takes us exactly where we need to be." Mario hoped, jumping into the pipe.

"Hopefully..." Link muttered and climbed in afterward.

Seconds later, both of them were spit out on the opposite end of the warp-pipe, which promptly disappeared into the ground after doing so. As soon as they hit the ground, they automatically knew they were still light-years away from their desired destination.

How so?

Both of them were in the middle of what seemed to be a stadium. Some sort of coliseum similar in style to the coliseums of ancient Greece. They stood on a tiled, stone floor surrounded by sandy ground, facing two guys who looked like they were in their early twenties.

That wasn't what made them so intimidating, though.

What made them a force to be reckoned with were the vicious-looking swords they were wielding. The one with brown, neck-lengthed hair and a scar right above the bridge of his nose boasted a thick-bladed sword that seemed to have the handle of a gun for a hilt, fully-equipped with a trigger. The one with blonde, spiky hair and strangely-shaded blue eyes donned a gigantic brand, nearly as tall as he was and quite-possibly just as heavy.

Mario and Link simply looked to each other, worriedly. They knew this could only mean they were in for one hell of a battle.


	5. Don't Confuse Cheapness With Skill

**Act 5****: _Don't Confuse Cheapness with Skill_**

_Back in Ganondorf's Castle..._

"This shit is all good and gravy, but I'm actually startin' to get tired of these broads." Ganondorf admitted as Zelda gave him a piggy-back ride.

"Surprisingly, I grow weary of these wenches as well." Bowser agreed with a fake pompous accent while Peach was filing his fingernails.

"I guess this is the prime time to think of some shit that'll easily murk Mario and Link. So what you think?" Ganondorf asked.

"I'm glad you asked. I just thought of the _perfect_ plan." Bowser said, deviously rubbing his hands together. "It involves me, you, a paintbrush, and -get this- a bathtub!"

Bowser had no idea how wrong that sounded.

"..." Ganondorf was simply rendered speechless.

"No need to say anything. Trust me, I know. I'm such a genius; I have nightmares about it, sometimes." Bowser humbly admitted. "What makes this plan even greater is that Mario doesn't have that damn FLUDD this time. He'll never see it coming! GWA HA HA!!" He laughed as thunder and lightning exuberantly sounded off outside.

"...you're kiddin' me, right? 'Cause if you ain't..." Ganondorf managed to start. "No, you know what? You _are_ fuckin' around. Good shit, B-boss. You almost had me."

Bowser's ego was crushed. He really believed he had the be-all that ends-all in ideas. He didn't show any outward signs, or at least he tried not to.

"Alright then... What's _your_ godamn infallible plan then?" Bowser spat out. Obviously, he wasn't trying very hard.

Without saying a word, Ganondorf simply whipped out his cellular phone and punched in a few numbers. After a few rings, a deep voice answered.

"Greetings."

"Yo, this is G-dorf. Whaddup, DK?" He greeted.

A frustrated groan was heard on the other end.

"Only my true friends may call me by that alias. You're nothing more than a mere acquaintance, Ganondorf. You will refer to me as Donkey Kong and _only _Donkey Kong, unless told otherwise." DK grunted over the phone.

"I'ma have to refer you to a proctologist if you don't check yo' tone wit' me, Kong. I _will_ break a Wizard's Foot off in yo' ass. Don't test me." Ganondorf threatened, pointing at the phone as if DK could see him. "But whatever, I need a favor. Peeps are tryin' to come through and start some shit wit' my boy, B-Boss, and me. They tryin' to get at our girls, dawg! I ain't havin' that. I need some extra muscle, son. I need you to hit 'em off wit' the real from that Giant Punch."

"First and foremost, I am neither a dog nor your son." DK sternly stated. "And I refuse to waste what precious little time I have by assisting you in your petty scuffles. I'm only concerned with one thing and one thing only: crushing that _infernal_ Mario!" He ragefully boomed, causing Ganondorf to pull the phone away from his ear. "I'll never forget when he took my Daisy! My precious little flower, Daisy... She was the only one to ever see the _real_ Donkey Kong... She was the only one who could understand my daily plight... And Mario robbed my garden of its most beautiful blossom. Granted, I may have smothered her a bit too heavily, but she could see it was love! He had no right to take away what was mine! ...no right to take what I held nearest and dearest to my heart..." DK concluded, sobbing heavily.

Ganondorf was thoroughly shocked and disgusted by Donkey Kong's love-struck weeps. He slowly took the phone away from his ear and stared at it.

"Yo... _this_ mother-fucker... is cryin'... _on my phone..._" Ganondorf enforced as if that was unheard of. He paused for a moment, as if he was trying to make sense of this. "What... the fuck?" Ganondorf could only hold up a hand of confusion.

Bowser only slowly shook his head and sighed disappointedly.

With a sigh of his own, Ganondorf put his mouth to the receiver and continued his conversation with Donkey Kong.

"Yo... if you're gonna start cryin' on my phone line, I'ma jus' call up someone else. I need emotionally stable heads on this operation. 'Specially since I'm dealin' wit' yo' boy, Mario." Ganondorf added with a devious smile.

"WHAT?!!" DK gasped with sudden interest. "What business do you have with Mario?!"

"I already told you. But either way, why's it matter? Through me, you get the chance to beat his ass down!" Ganondorf said.

There was a brief silence on DK's end. He had a serious bone to pick with Mario, but at the same time, he didn't trust Ganondorf at all. He was facing quite the dilemma.

"...a side of me firmly believes you are speaking utter nonsense and are only interested in telling me what I want to hear so I can help you..." DK finally said. "...but another side firmly believes that if I pass this opportunity, I'll have to wait until the next Smash Brothers tournament to deal him satisfying retribution. I simply can not wait that long."

There was another pause: a long, contemplating pause.

"Against all my better judgment... I will vow to help you deal with Mario in the best way I can." Donkey Kong swore. "You just better not be deceiving me, Ganondorf, or else it will be you who'll face my swift and unending vengeance."

"Trust me, DK, you have my word." Ganondorf promised.

With a frustrated grunt because Ganondorf called him "DK" once again, Donkey Kong hung up the phone.

"Donkey Kong." Bowser said. "Of all the people to help us, you choose Donkey Kong. Donkey. Fucking. Kong. And you thought _my_ plan was a joke? We were _much_ better off following my scheme! The best part about it was that we didn't have to depend on some half-ass lumbering monkey to beat one of our most dangerous enemies! What the hell..."

Bowser quit talking when Ganondorf held up a glowing, black and dark-purple hand up as a threatening halt sign.

"The tone: check it." Ganondorf demanded. "And what's yo' deal wit' DK? Talks like he's got a stick up his ass, but on the real, he's aight."

"He only uses big words to hide the fact that he's an idiot." Bowser maintained his argument. "Seriously, Ganondorf... of all the people in the world... of all the capable bodies in the worl-- no, the _Universe_... Why Donkey Kong?"

"One word, my man..." Ganondorf started, holding up one finger. "Potential. My man was serious in the last Smash deal. He took me down to a single stock in our match and murked yo' ass to death wit'out losing a single life."

"WHAT?!! Rewind!" Bowser screamed in angered excitement. "That bastard didn't beat me! I got screwed by those explosive crates and capsules! You saw that match! I got blown up three times in a row!"

"You _still_ on that? It's over, B-Boss. Admit you lost. Everyone knows it except you." Ganondorf said. "But like I was sayin': DK is showin' promise. In the next tournament, he could be hot shit. Almost as hot as me... And I know he's gonna be sincere when he goes toe-to-toe wit' Mario. After he's outta the picture, we can handle Link the same way we handled him last time he was here."

"Well... at least you're thinking..." Bowser muttered, not exactly wanting to admit Ganondorf's _was_ the better plan. "But you know potential means _nothing_ in the long run. I mean, even with us: we have the potential to beat Mario and Link senseless with or without DK's so-called 'help', but it's not guaranteed."

"So let's guarantee it." Ganondorf suggested and motioned Bowser to follow him to the roof of the castle.

Walking toward one of the pillars at the top of his fortress, Ganondorf held up a glowing, purple hand. Suddenly, a doorway in the pillar wall slid opened, revealing a new room. This was Ganondorf's pride and joy. This was where he kept his Interdimensional-Warp Machine, which was capable of taking him _anywhere_ in the Universe. This explained his plasma-screen surveillance monitor and cell phone, among many other hi-tech gadgets the audience doesn't know he has yet.

"Whoa..." Bowser gasped in awe as he stepped into the room.

"That's right." Ganondorf approved of Bowser's awed gasp. "This is my baby, B-boss. This is how I move." He said, tenderly petting his machine. "And right now, we gonna use this to get to Final Destination for a sparin' session.

After punching in some commands on the main control panel of the Interdimensional-Warp Machine, a wormhole opened up in a nearby wall. Without hesitation, Ganondorf and Bowser stepped through and immediately arrived at their destination. They both stood at one end of the battlefield, staring each other down.

"I'm fightin' to win, son, so whatever you got that might make this battle last a lil' longer; bring it."

"Including transformations?" Bowser asked, hopefully raising his eyebrows.

"I can't use mine outside of Hyrule, but if you can do yours then do you. It still won't save you from the ass-beatin' I'ma deal." Ganondorf cockily stated with a smirk.

"Yeah, you talk big now..." Bowser menacingly growled.

Gradually, Bowser began to change his appearance. He grew just a bit over twice his normal size, gaining much more muscle mass. Every spike and claw on his body grew even longer and sharper than before including the two horns on each side of his head, which resembled a more devilish look. His hair also seemed to stand on end with limitless power and his eyes looked beady and more vein-ridden than before. Bowser was now his awe-striking behemoth alter-ego: Giga Bowser.

"...but l3t's s33 h0w t0ugh j00 4r3 wh3n j00r up 4g41n5t t3h G1G4 B0W53R!!11!" Giga Bowser roared at an excessively loud volume as a thin smoke poured from his mouth.

"...what the hell did you jus' say?" Ganondorf questioned, unable to understand Giga Bowser's elite accent.

"L00k 4t j00... 5uch 4 n00b... J00'll n3v3r b3 4bl3 t0 b34t 50m30n3 45 l33t 45 m3!" Giga Bowser taunted.

"...it don't matter what language you speak. Yo' fists win the battle, not yo' mouth." Ganondorf said. "Put 'em up, B-boss. I'm 'bout to show you how my Gerudo hand's way strong."

"BR1NG 1T 0N, J00 N00B!!11!one!" Giga Bowser boomed l33tly as the battle finally commenced.

_We now return to our regularly scheduled grimness, featuring Mario and Link._

The duo remained motionless, afraid that even the slightest movement would earn them a vicious hacking unlike anything they had ever seen. The sworded pair tightened their grips on their weapons.

"_These_ are the guys we're supposed to battle?" The guy with the Gunblade said.

"It doesn't matter to me. They all get defeated the same way." The other said, pounding the tip of his blade into the stone ground, emitting a bright spark.

"Holy Din... Even my Biggoron Sword can't stand up to that..." Link feared, taking a step back while carefully eyeing the Buster Sword.

"I doubt jumps or fire will stop them, either..." Mario speculated. "How'll we do this?"

Link barely turned to Mario to give him an answer before a slam was heard, as if a heavy door swung into a wall. Mario and Link spun around while the bladed warriors looked past the duo and to the three-person party standing in the doorway.

This new group included a shield-wielding dog of some sort. His name was Goofy. His shield was round and nearly a third of the size of his tall, slim body and had a sharp spike sticking out from the center. There was also a white-feathered duck named Donald, donning a blue-rodded wand with a bright, golden star on the top. Finally, there was a teenaged boy wielding a blade of his own, but not like what Link or the other two had. His blade was shaded a deep, oblivion black. It also looked exactly like a large key; a Keyblade, some would say. The wielder of the Keyblade was none other than Sora.

"Sora! I'm surprised you made it this far in the Kratos Cup." The gunbladed opponent called out to the keybladed boy.

"Squall! And Cloud! _You_ guys are the second seed?" Sora called back, surprised to see his old friends.

"Hey, we may be friends and all, but still don't want anyone calling me that. My name is Leon." Squall stated defensively.

"It's part of your past, Squall. You can't hide from it. Trust me, I know." Cloud said.

"So if you guys are the second seed, and we just beat the third seed... then which seed are they?" The shield-wielding canine wondered, scratching his head under his hat and staring at Mario and Link.

Mario and Link glanced to each other nervously.

"We... are..." Mario started, trying to think of something.

"THE STIPULATION SEED!!" Link jumped in. Mario looked at him in surprise. "Guys, sorry you had to hear this from me, but the matches were gettin' borin'. That's why no one's here." He pointed to the empty stands. "So they threw us in to make things interestin'."

"What are you doing?" Mario worriedly whispered.

"Just roll with it." Link said.

"Blasphemy!" Donald quacked in enraged disbelief. "This tournament only pits _one_ team against another! There's no such thing as a three-way match!"

"Sounds pretty interesting, though..." Cloud said, thoughtfully. "You know what? Let's do it! The first three-way battle in Coliseum history! What do you all say?"

"I'm up for a little variety." Squall said.

"Hey, we're the stipulation seed! We're ready for anythin'!" Link boasted, patting Mario on the back. Mario looked back at him disapprovingly.

"It's all up to your group, Sora." Cloud said, looking to Sora's group.

"Guys?" Sora turned to his companions.

"Sounds like fun! A-hyuck!" Goofy laughed.

"Awww, phooey..." Donald groaned, signifying he'd reluctantly join his squad in the fray.

"We're in this, too." Sora said to Cloud.

"Alright then, pick a position." Squall suggested. "The winner of this match takes on the first seed, no questions asked."

Sora, Donald, and Goofy headed to the bottom-left corner of the squared arena while Mario and Link took the bottom-right. Cloud and Squall backed up and stood in the top-center of the battlefield. They then stood off, sizing each other up.

"Whenever you're ready." Cloud announced, assuming a defensive stance alongside Squall.

Both other groups took a fighting stance as well, but neither one moved. They were waiting for someone else to take the initiative. The way things were going, they were in for a long stare-down session. Both groups seemed intent on attacking Cloud and Squall first, though. They seemed to be the most dangerous of the three.

Link quickly glanced over to Sora's group, and was surprised to see Sora staring back at him. Getting a bright idea, he jerked his head toward Cloud's group, suggesting that they attack them together. Sora nodded in agreement and held up three fingers, signifying they'd attack on his count.

Three fingers...

Two fingers...

One finger...

"GO!!" Sora and Link shouted out as they led the attack squad on Cloud and Squall.

Not even flinching, as if he expected this type of mutiny, Cloud reared his huge sword back, like he was about to swing a baseball bat. And with a home-run swing, Cloud created a whirling vortex to combat the oncoming five-man squad. The vicious tornado treated them with no mercy, effortlessly picking them off the ground and whipping them around in helpless spirals in the air. After it finally subsided, Mario and Link were thrown into the empty spectator stands. Goofy, Sora, and Donald, on the other hand, were ejected from the Coliseum.

"So much for the three-way..." Cloud sighed, disappointed.

"You have to be kidding me..." Mario groaned, tenderly rising to his feet. "What was that?"

"I'll tell you what it _wasn't_: fair!" Link shouted, also gingerly taking baby steps toward standing vertically. "He sent a freakin' tornado at us! What type of cheap crap is that?!"

"That's not cheap; that's skill." Cloud shouted to Link, overhearing his loud and angry complaints. "It took a long time and a lot of skill to perfect the Finishing Touch."

Link and Mario made their way back to the stone-tiled battleground in the middle of the Coliseum.

"So it looks like it's down to a two-on-two. Me and Cloud against... What are your names?" Squall asked.

"I'm Link, the Hero of Time." Link introduced as his heroic fanfare blared throughout the relative silence of the stadium. "And that's my boy, Mario."

Squall and Cloud nodded.

"I'm still in the mood for a different type of match. I don't have a problem with these free-for-all brawls, but after having ninety-seven of those in a row, I'm a little tired of them." Squall said.

"I know what you mean." Cloud agreed.

"So then what do you have in mind?" Mario wondered.

"Well first, I want to make sure you two don't have a problem with a little variety." Squall said.

"Like I already said: we're up for anythin' and everythin'. Whatever you deal, we can handle." Link confidently guaranteed, pointing at himself with his thumb and nodding.

"Alright then. We challenge you to a classic RPG battle." Squall said.

Link paused for a second. A look of shock and confusion was temporarily engraved on his face. Then a smile slowly replaced it.

"...that's... it? Ha... ha! HA HA HA!! For a minute, I was kinda worried. But just _that_? Man, we got this, Mario!" Link cockily boasted, confidently patting his partner on the shoulder. "Just give us a second to strategize."

"Take your time." Squall nodded.

Link guided Mario aside, far enough so Cloud and Squall couldn't hear them.

"WHAT THE HELL IS A RCB BATTLE?!!" Link wildly shouted, grabbing Mario by his overall-straps. Link shouted loud enough for Squall and Cloud to hear, who were now laughing out loud.

"You're hopeless, Link..." Mario sighed, freeing himself from Link's hold. "_RPG_ battles are a lot more organized than your hack-and-slash adventures. Basically, each team takes turns dealing as much damage as possible to finish the other team. And every action you do takes a turn: be it attacking, using an item, or so on. The winner is the last team standing."

"Oh... that's easy! We really do have this in the bag!" Link said, his confidence returning. "Let's go get 'em."

"Wait a second. There's a big factor in these matches that just might help sway the outcome." Mario mentioned. "And that's your equipment. It's best to use the strongest gear you have, but you gotta be careful sometimes. The strongest gear might have some serious setbacks."

"Aww, sneaky mofos... Not a problem, though. I think I get this. Tell me how you think this works out..." Link started. "I'ma arm myself with the Megaton Hammer. That thing is stronger than my Biggoron's sword, but I need both hands to wield it, meanin' I can't use my shield for defense. So to cancel that, I'ma throw on my Goron tunic. The Gorons put MAD resilience in this shirt, so I'm pretty sure it's gonna give me the same protection my shield would."

"That's pretty clever!" Mario nodded, approvingly. "You catch on quick."

"I'ma also put on my Mirror shield." Link added.

"I thought you couldn't use your shields." Mario said.

"I can't. I just look freakin' great wearin' my Goron tunic and my Mirror shield together. It should be a crime to look as cool as I do with those on." Link stated with a smile.

Mario only sighed and shook his head in response.

"I'm going to equip my Lazy Shell and Hero Shirt. Oh yeah, one more thing: you have hit points and magic points now. Make sure you watch those. Some of your moves might take away some of your MP, and every hit they deal you will tax your HP. If your HP hits zero, it's game over for you."

"Well, I've got 5542HP. Good luck gettin' me down zero." Link said. "I also have 423MP. I think I'ma be good in this match."

"You're better off than I am in the HP department. I only have 4996. But my MP is looking good: 509." Mario said, and then threw on his equipment. "Alright, you ready?"

"I was _born_ ready." Link stated.

They returned to where Cloud and Squall stood.

"Well. You two look ready to win." Cloud noticed.

Link was decked out in a red tunic and a red hood instead of his typical green attire. He also wielded a large, heavy-looking, metallic silver hammer, looking more confident than ever before as he rested it on his left shoulder. On his back, a pentagon-shaped shield rested. The shiny red border and the silver face of the shield complimented Link's red clothing very nicely. He was definitely styling.

Mario rested a foot on top of his huge, red turtle shell which had wings that looked too small to support its grand girth. He still seemed to be in his normal gear, but that's where he deceived everyone. His denim-blue overalls and red cotton undershirt were made from a special, more resilient fabric derived from the Power Stars of Peach's castle. Looking closer at his clothing, they could be seen shining with power. They were the ultimate in comfortable, but frighteningly durable, clothing.

"But let me just be honest with you guys." Cloud started. "This is our battle. In all seriousness, you two don't stand a chance."

"We'll see about that." Mario said.

Suddenly, the environment spiraled out of focus and into blackness. Gradually, it faded back into reality, but slightly different. Mario and Link noticed their surroundings were a lot more detailed than before. They could actually _feel _the texture of the gritty ground under their feet. They saw the dust blowing in the wind. Their battlefield was also bigger than before, allowing them a lot more room for the fight. There was also "battle music" playing in the background: the same battle theme heard in _Final Fantasy VIII_.

"That was weird..." Link said as he looked around his new environment.

"Here goes round one!" Cloud warned, rearing his sword back.

Just then, Cloud attacked, swinging his Buster Sword in a wide, horizontal arc. The wind blew with great force, attacking both Mario and Link and taking 712HP from each of them.

"What?! That's impossible! You can only hit one person per attack!" Mario exclaimed.

Cloud let a smirk slide onto his face. "Welcome to the big leagues. Here, we can use special enhancers that can boost our powers beyond anything you can imagine." Cloud explained, pulling out a yellow transparent orb from his bangle. "I use materia. This materia, for example, Slash-All, lets me attack both of you with one swift blow. And that's not all..."

Immediately after ending his sentence, Cloud dashed toward Mario and dealt him a hard vertical hack. This wiped off an additional 628HP.

"I can link the support materia, Added Cut, to Slash-All. So not only do I get to hit both of you with one attack, I can hit one of you again in the same turn." Cloud said.

"This isn't fair..." Mario groaned.

"What a damn cheat..." Link sighed. "Whatever, it's my go!"

He charged at Squall and leapt toward him as high as possible. As he came down, he pointed the head of his hammer down, planning to plant it in Squall's head.

"Try to time your hits!" Mario called out. "Before you land the hit, put as much strength can into it for extra damage!"

"Easy!" Link boasted.

Link buried the head of his hammer into Squall's dome, timing his placement of strength with the moment of impact. His timing was flawless, managing to bounce off Squall's head two more times. This only registered as one hit, though, but one hell of a hit: it trounced 1337 of Squall's hit points.

"Oh yeah! Who's the man?" Link celebrated.

"Whoa! You weren't kidding about that hammer. Nice hit!" Mario exclaimed. "And it's finally my turn."

With a small running start, Mario tossed the shell up into the air. As the shell began its fall back down to the ground, he reared his foot back, planning on launch it at Cloud. Timing his kick with the precise moment it was level to his knees, Mario threw his foot out, sending the enormous shell on a collision course towards Cloud's chest. The hit registered with the classic "bluh-kup!" sound Koopa shells were known for, and knocked Cloud breathless. He was down 1002HP.

"Wooo! We're bringin' the pain!" Link exclaimed. "How does it feel?!"

Squall's moment finally came. He didn't waste any words before his attack. He ran up to Link and dealt a heavy blow to Link's chest with his custom-made Lionheart gunblade. What made the blow even heavier was the fact that Squall pulled the trigger on the hilt at the exact moment the blade touched Link's skin. Link was thrown backwards from the hit, and 856HP was thrown from his life meter.

"Oh god..." Link groaned, tenderly rising to his feet from the explosive hit.

"You alright?" Mario asked, slightly concerned.

"I'll live." Link assured him.

"We're just about even with these guys, but they're hurting us a little more." Mario reported. "We'll be better off concentrating on one guy at a time."

"Let's get Cloud first. I can see him murkin' us to death with that hit-everyone move." Link suggested.

"I was just about to say that. Let's do it." Mario said, putting the focus back on Cloud and Squall.

Cloud's turn was next. He slashed both Mario and Link again for 693HP each and attacked Link for another 602.

Link was up at bat once again. He jetted toward Cloud at full speed. Just when he looked like he was about to collide into him, cocking his hammer back, Cloud braced himself by tensing up. At that moment, Link skidded to a stop and swung his hammer in a vertical arc upward, like a golf swing. And what a golf swing! Cloud wasn't prepared for Link's change-up and subsequently got his chin walloped knocking him straight up into the air.

With the same perfect timing as his last hit, Link whipped out his bow and arrow and sent a screaming arrow up to meet the helpless Cloud. The arrow met him with such force that he was sent an extra few inches into the air before he fell back down to the ground. 1504HP.

Mario was next. Both of his hands lit up. Suddenly, there was a red fireball in each palm. He threw the left ball straight at Cloud's chest. The right one found its way toward his left shoulder. Mario then cupped his hands together, both of them lighting ablaze once again. With a loud "YAH", Mario shot one huge ball of fire straight at Cloud's face. It hit him so hard that he did a backflip, landing forcefully on his stomach. This move taxed 53MP from Mario and 1501HP from Cloud.

Cloud managed to rise to one knee after the blow, but he couldn't rise any higher than that. He was really hurting from Mario and Link's relentless onslaught.

"It's workin'! We got this battle on lock!" Link exclaimed, noticing a struggling Cloud.

They awaited Squall's next attack. Instead of attacking, he turned toward Cloud, planted his sword in the ground, and held his fingers to his forehead. A green aura surrounded him as he did this. Then, Squall pointed his hand toward his injured ally. The green aura traveled from his arm and jumped onto Cloud, shining a healthy, green light upon him. Suddenly, Cloud was on both feet again, fully recovered.

"NO!! We almost had him! Shit!" Link shouted, upset, and kicking the ground.

"Take it easy, Link. Lose your cool and you lose the battle." Mario said, trying to calm Link down. "We'll just change our focus. Squall will feel the hurt, now."

"That's a definite." Link agreed, glaring at Squall.

"You guys are pretty good: a lot better than we expected, actually." Cloud commended. "We never had to heal each other until now."

"But that's as close as you'll ever get to beating one of us. We're not holding back anymore." Squall declared.

"Oh, trust us, neither are we. We're just getting warmed up." Mario countered, setting his hands on fire while Link suddenly whipped out his Fire arrows.

"Really?" Cloud said, with a tone of false surprise. "Better cool you down, then."

He flipped his sword behind him, temporarily sheathing it, and held his arms together outstretched while a bright blue aura sparkled around him.

"Blizzaga." Cloud stated.

It gradually began snowing on Link and Mario's side of the battleground. They held their hands out to catch some snow, trying to see if it was actually for real. Suddenly, the ground froze and sent a sub-zero stalactite up under their feet. The sudden ice pillar encased them both in an icy prison, then shattered, returning the field back to normal. Mario and Link were both dealt 2004HP of damage.

"I hope it wasn't _too_ cold for you." Cloud said with a smirk.

"Sh-shut up..." Mario said with a shivering quiver in his voice. "L-i-i-ink?"

Mario just then noticed a still-frozen Link. He stood as still as an ice-sculpted statue.

"No, it froze you!" Mario shouted.

He then reached down his shirt, searching through his inventory.

"I hope th-this works..." Mario said, whipping out a red can, labeled "Able Juice".

He opened the can and poured the clear liquid all over the biting-cold ice cube. As soon as the juice touched the ice, it began melting at a rapid rate. Soon enough, Link was completely free, dropping to his knees and curling himself into a ball while hugging himself to keep warm.

"WHAT IN NAYRU'S HOLY NAME WAS THAT?! THAT WAS COLDER THAN THE BLUE FIRE IN THE ICE CAVERN!!!" Link screamed at Cloud, violently shaking from the cold.

"It doesn't matter. It's over now. Just get back into battle position." Mario said.

"Yeah, it's my turn anyway." Link said, rising to his feet and whipping out an ice weapon of his own: his Ice arrows.

"Hold on, Link." Squall halted. "You were frozen when it was your turn, so your turn was skipped. Mario just saved you, so it's my turn. Sorry."

"WHAT?!!" Link boomed in rage. "GODAMNIT, YOU BASTARDS ARE SO FREAKIN' CHEAP!!!"

"Say what you want, but we both know just can't match our skill." Squall replied.

"You mean cheapness!" Link shot back. "Don't confuse cheapness with skill!"

Without even replying, Squall held his sword horizontally, with each hand on one end of his gunblade. Link expected the next attack to be directed toward him and braced himself for the gunblade's impact. Instead, and very suddenly, shining in a powerful red aura, Squall rushed toward Mario.

"RENZOKUKEN!!" Squall shouted as he dealt Mario four devastatingly explosive hits from his Lionheart gunblade.

Mario fell to his hands and knees, reeling from the attack, but thankful it was over. Unfortunately, Squall wasn't finished. He reared his sword back as red power streaks shot out from his body.

"ROUGH DIVIDE!!" Squall screamed swinging his sword up hard and jumping into the heavens with a rising slash.

He managed to slash the very air around Mario, leaving a wind-rip to finish him off. No exact amount of HP loss needed. Mario was _finished_.

Link just stood by, stupefied by what he just witnessed and seething to the point where he couldn't even speak.

Suddenly, without any type of warning, Cloud zipped across the field with his arm and sword fully extended and skewered Link. Link looked at Cloud with wide eyes as he stared back with a victorious grin.

"Climhazzard." Cloud simply stated and leaped into the air with the sword, leaving behind a severe slash on Link and a crimson-red trail of pain.

Once again, the amount of HP loss was irrelevant. Link was defeated, as well.

Cloud and Squall sheathed their swords with their victory poses as they looked at the downed duo.

"I have to hand it to them: they did pretty good considering the odds." Squall complimented. "I almost felt sorry for them when we got serious. If they knew I beat Omega Weapon, I doubt they would've been so quick to fight."

"You didn't beat Omega Weapon, you just landed the last hit." Cloud reminded Squall.

"Whatever. What I'm trying to say is that we're the best, and when you mess with the best, you end up like the rest." Squall stated.

"That... was so... corny." Link muttered, face-down.

Cloud and Squall quickly unsheathed their weapons once again and faced the weakly-stirring Hero of Time. They noticed a pink ball of sparkling light creep out from under his hood. Once it was free, it flew over Link and circled his body, sprinkling a fine dust all over him. Eventually, the light dusted itself into nothingness. Link was now standing on both legs, hammer in hand and looking as tough as ever.

Cloud smiled when he saw Link conscious again.

"Thank Farore for Fairies." Link sighed.

"Looks like you have more tricks up your sleeve than we thought." Cloud said.

"Man, I got a whole _bag_ of tricks to show you two! If you liked the last one, then you'll love the encore." Link said.

Link reached in back of him and pulled out another fairy in a bottle. He sent it over to Mario, who was instantly revived as well.

"Welcome back, Mario." Link greeted.

"Great to be back, Link." Mario replied. "Not so great for Squall, though." He said, glaring at Squall. "That move was so unfair... You want to play cheap? Then let me show you how I got the high score!"

With that, Mario squatted down as far as he could, then launched himself thousands of feet into the air.

"Wow... I knew he could jump... but I didn't know he could give Din a DAP if he wanted..." Link uttered in pure awe.

They all just stared as Mario finally began his fall back down to the ground. Cloud and Link both realized that Mario's landing pad would be Squall's face. Squall just braced himself for the moment of impact.

SLAM!!

"Super!" Mario shouted as his feet made contact with Squall's head.

Mario's feet landed hard onto Squall's head, causing a shower of stars to fly out from the power. Mario's attack wasn't over yet. He managed to jump off Squall's head and create an instant replay, soaring high into the sky and crashing back down to a helpless Squall.

SLAM!! AGAIN!!

"Jump!" Mario screamed as he pounded Squall's head again.

Mario just kept repeating the process. Seeing they weren't going to be doing anything for a while, Link and Cloud just sat on the ground, waiting for Mario to finish his attack.

_An hour later..._

"...Jump! ...Super! ...Jump! ...Super! ...Ju--" Mario mistimed the last jump and landed on the ground, finally ending his stream of jumps. "No! I messed up on the timing! I can never make 4000 jumps..."

"Are you done yet?" Squall asked.

"Unfortunately..." Mario muttered.

"Just so you know, you took all my hit points after jump 52." Squall said, finally falling flat on his face after having been dealt the maximum 9999HP of damage. Mario lost 120MP.

"Yes! One down and one to go!" Mario cheered, doing a small hop for joy.

He turned to Link, and was amazed to find him asleep. Immediately, he turned to Cloud, afraid he'd take advantage of the one-on-one situation. Surprisingly, he was asleep, too.

"This might be our chance to finish this!" Mario excitedly said to himself. "Link, wake up. I'm done." He whispered, shaking him awake.

"Nah, Zelda-baby. You can't be done before me. Just gimme two more seconds..." Link said sleepily as he was slowly humping the ground.

Mario undoubtedly felt awkward watching this. He did the best thing he could to end this scene quickly:

"Get up!" Mario kicked Link awake. 100HP.

"OW!! What the hell is your problem?! That took some of my HP!" Link shouted angrily. His shouts of rage woke up Cloud.

"Awww, Link! You woke Cloud up! We could've just finished him right there in his sleep!" Mario angrily said.

"So what? It's a two-on-one. What can he do to us? We got this, man." Link confidently assured Mario.

"Wow... I never thought I'd have to use this against you guys, but I have no choice. Desperate times..." Cloud said.

He once again temporarily sheathed his sword and held his arms out in a power pose. Multi-colored scriptures and symbols floated into his posed body. Suddenly, he and Squall faded into transparency and simply disappeared.

"Are you for real? _That_ was his desperate measure: bitchin' out and runnin' away?" Link rhetorically asked, amazed. "I can't believe this... I'm seriously disappointed! I wanted to win, but not like this. This is just sad. I actually _wanted_ some more cheap crap."

"I think you got your wish..." Mario lowly said, checking out his altered surroundings.

They were still standing on solid ground, but clouds could be seen rushing below them. It was as if they were rising rapidly into the sky.

"What the hell is goin' on?!" Link demanded.

Suddenly, they came to a slow halt. Mario glanced to his side, and suddenly all color drained from his face.

"Hoooly... sh..." Mario couldn't even finish his statement as fear gripped his tongue.

Link turned to see what had Mario so scared, and promptly had his heart frozen in terror. Both of them were staring into the yellow, pupil-less eyes of an enormous red dragon. The dragon stared at them for a second, cementing its shocking presence and verifying that this was indeed no trick. It really existed and it really was about to send them into a whole new realm of pain.

Then, it started charging up a ridiculously powerful beam from its mouth. The dragon was charging the beam to be so strong that its head began shaking uncontrollably.

"Mario..." Link began, with his voice trembling. "How are we gonna dodge this?" He asked, fearing for his life.

"We don't. We simply stand here and begin the staring contest with Death." Mario bravely stated.

The dragon's beam was fully charged at this point, with a blinding light being emitted from its mouth.

"...just promise me you won't blink." Mario added.

The dragon then fired the beam straight at Mario and Link, engulfing them in an impossibly strong energy blast. It was so powerful that it disintegrated the plot of land they were standing on. They fell for what seemed like hours until they finally landed back on the Coliseum battleground. Link and Mario were both down on all fours... with 1HP each. As soon as they landed, Cloud and an unconscious Squall returned to their spots.

"Cheap... cheap... cheap..." Link muttered to himself over and over again.

"I can't believe you two are still alive." Cloud said, surprised. "I don't know too many people that could survive a Terra Flare from Neo Bahamut. You guys are something else."

"I'm with you on that one. Even _I _can't believe we're still alive." Mario admitted.

"I think I pissed in my pants..." Link murmured, embarrassedly.

"...well..." Cloud stammered, not too sure of how to reply to that. "…the battle will be over with soon enough. After I finish you two, I'll find you a change of clothes... or something..."

"Nah, that's cool." Link declined, gingerly rising to his feet. "And you're right: the battle _will _be over. _Very_ soon."

He reached behind his shield and suddenly whipped out a bottle full of milk. This wasn't any old milk. This was the world-famous (at least in Link's world) LonLon Milk, guaranteed to make you feel like a million bucks after one sip. And Link took several big gulps, decimating half of the bottle. Full HP recovery!

"What?!" Cloud gasped in disbelief.

"Take the rest, Mario!" Link suggested and tossed him the half-full bottle.

Not wasting any time, Mario inhaled what was left of the drink and immediately jumped to his feet. Full HP recovery x 2!

"Wow, that was _great_! Next time I find myself in Hyrule, I need to pick up a few cases." Mario said.

"No..." Cloud groaned.

"YES!!" Link replied to Cloud, with a crazed look in his eyes. "It's over! Don't even waste your time attackin'!"

Of course Cloud wouldn't take Link seriously. Surprisingly, all he attacked with was a Slash-All. He dealt 696HP to each of them and a surprisingly weak 582HP to Mario.

"That's all you got left? Say good night!" Link stated.

Standing right where he was, Link whipped out his bow and armed himself with a Fire arrow. He shot it at Cloud and engulfed him in a fiery blaze. He then armed himself with an Ice arrow and aimed it right at the burning Cloud. As soon as it hit him, he was encased in an icy jail, frozen solid. Finally, Link reloaded with a Bomb arrow. He shot with true aim toward the trapped Cloud and freed him from his frozen hell, but blew him sky-high. He landed hard, and got 3153HP shaved off his life while Link only lost 36MP.

Mario simply followed up with another Super Jump attack, but not nearly as long as his last one: only for twenty jumps this time. After the last jump was landed, Cloud was dealt another 3153HP and Mario lost 52 of his magic points.

Cloud fell beaten to his knees, dropping his sword. He then slumped over on his side, lying unconscious on the ground. Mario and Link let out a long sigh of relief as they dropped to the ground as well, tiredly.

"Whew... We won. _Now_ I feel better about it." Link said.

"Me, too." Mario agreed. "I've never faced anyone like them before. Whatever world they came from must be a trillion times more messed up than either of ours. I mean, look at the moves they used! I'm guessing if you don't have moves like that, then you won't survive a second there. Maybe they aren't as cheap as we think."

"Maybe..." Link thoughtfully sighed. "Let's find a way outta here. I know they aren't the only ones out here. We might even find Sora and his crew if we're lucky. They might know a way outta here."

Mario nodded as they rose to their feet and made their way to the big stone doors. But before Mario took another step forward, he paused. Link turned to his partner with a concerned look, wondering what was wrong.

"Why is the battle music still playing?" Mario wondered.

Suddenly, a bright light shined behind them. What they saw when they turned around could've literally shocked them to death if they had weaker hearts.

"No... freakin'... way..." Link uttered after seeing a gigantic, majestic bird floating over the unconscious Cloud and Squall.

The bird then attacked Link and Mario with a searing blast of flames, while shedding its fiery red feathers all over Squall and Cloud. Then, almost as quickly as it appeared, the bird vanished. Squall and Cloud were both fully revived. Mario and Link were dealt 1234 damage each.

"It's a good thing I linked up that Final Attack materia with Phoenix." Cloud said as he got up.

"Unbelievable... We had you two beat! Why couldn't you just stay down?" Mario said, irritated.

"Did you two stay down for _us_ when we beat _you_?" Squall countered.

"That's different! We have a quest to complete! We got girls to save and bad guys to murk! We _can't_ lose!" Link argued.

"Sorry, but _we_ have to win this one. You wouldn't understand why." Squall said.

"Listen, we don't have to fight anymore. We can just call it even right here." Cloud offered. "I know you guys don't belong here and I know you two want to leave. Forfeit and let us go on."

"Sorry, Cloud, but we finish what we start. We're going to keep going until only one of us is left." Mario stated, with Link nodding in agreement.

"Then I guess this is it. We're going to have to put you down for the count." Squall said, charging up his Limit Break. "Just don't say we didn't give you a chance."

He jumped at Mario with another Renzokuken, attacking him with eight relentless slashes. After that, Squall charged up again, signifying his onrush wasn't over. He hit Mario up into the air, and went completely ballistic on him with the Lionheart, hitting him an uncountable number of times. After the final hit from Squall, Mario fell hard to the floor, bouncing off the ground before lying still, which counted for extra damage. He was, without a doubt, annihilated.

"Lionheart." Squall simply stated.

Link watched the entire brutalization in horror, terrified by how cheap the move was. When the unconscious Mario landed next to Link, his terror turned into uncontrollable rage. He became so enraged that he held his head in anguish and fell to his knees.

"AAAAUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! I CAN'T TAKE THIS CHEAP SHIT ANYMORE!!!" Link screamed in true anger.

As he screamed, he started shining. This wasn't any old shining. This was the type of shining that could blind people. This was the type of shining that could be seen through closed eyes. If the stars could see Link, they'd be profoundly jealous.

"What is he doing?" Cloud asked with a hint of fear, gripping the hilt of his sword tighter.

"No..." Squall uttered, worried. It was like he knew what this meant.

Link was beaming at this point. Cloud and Squall shielded their eyes as they continued to watch Link's transformation. Something suddenly caught their eye: an emblem. It had formed around Link as he screamed: a circle with two perpendicular lines intersecting each other. It was the symbol of Smash Brothers: the Smash Emblem.

Suddenly, a flash of light exploded from his body. His tunic and hood turned white and he gained some light-weight, but strong, body armor. His Megaton Hammer had been replaced by a long, silver, double-handed sword in the shape of a sharp figure-eight. His face had also changed: his hair and eyes were completely white, and he wore red war paint below his eyes as well as blue war paint across his forehead. Cloud and Squall were now standing in the presence of Oni Link, who was standing up straight, looking utterly fearless, intimidating, and unquestionably menacing.

"NO!! This is a Trance!" Squall exclaimed in shock. "This is the ultimate in Limit Breaks. Not only do you get new abilities, but you're also intensely stronger than you were before. If any of this is true, then it's over for us. We can't beat him the way he is now."

"But we have to try." Cloud stated.

He held his sword up in the air, gathering all the strength he could. At the tip of his blade, a shining white light brightly burned. Cloud then ran up to Oni Link and went wild on him. Cloud wildly and mercilessly slashed Link multiple times with all he had. He then jumped into the air with his sword still shining and dropped down to deliver the final fatal blow.

"OMNISLASH!!" Cloud shouted at the exact moment his sword contacted Link's body.

The grand total of Cloud's ballistic barrage: 1HP. And that was only because a speck of dust flew into Oni Link's eye.

"No! NO!! That's impossible! That's my strongest Limit Break!" Cloud shouted in complete disbelief.

Keeping his serious and threatening expression on his face, Oni Link then pulled out his bow and rapidly peeled both Squall and Cloud with over a hundred golden arrows. Each arrow hit with a spectacular splash of golden light. He then finished them off with a blast from Din's Fire, engulfing them in a blazing dome of scalding flames and unbearable heat. Instant and inarguable death for both of them.

"Beaten again..." Cloud muttered, dropping his sword. "...at our own game, too. I guess we're not as good as we thought. Congrats, Link." He said, dropping to the ground and fading away.

Squall was leaning on his gunblade, but he couldn't stay up much longer. He began chuckling to himself.

"Aeris has her work cut out for her tonight. You guys beat us up pretty good. Just make sure you do the same to the first seed. Good luck."

Finally, Squall fell off his blade and landed on his side, also fading away.

With a flash of light, Link reverted back to normal. He stood stunned for a second, amazed by what he just accomplished. He stared at his hands in disbelief. A slight smirk curled his lips. Then, he enthusiastically threw his fist into the air victoriously, cheering wildly for himself. The victory theme from _Final Fantasy VIII_ sounded off and Link gained 300,000 experience points. Level up x 8!

"Oh YEAH!! You can't _touch_ the Hero of Time!" His gallant fanfare blared through the Coliseum, drowning out the victory theme as he continued to cheer for himself. "I am the MAN!!" He then looked over to Mario, who was still completely unconscious and shook his head. "You're lucky I still have one more fairy." Link said and sent it his way.

Mario was up in an instant. He glanced around, only to find himself and Link alone in the middle of the Coliseum.

"What happened to Cloud and Squall?" He wondered.

"I beat them! Single-handedly!" Link announced.

"No you didn't. You're not that powerful." Mario said, not believing Link's claim.

"Do you see them here, now? I'm tellin' you, man: I murked them to death!" Link repeated.

"If you have power like that, why the hell didn't you just do that in the beginning?!" Mario shouted.

"For real, I dunno how I did it. I just got extremely pissed turned into Oni Link. I thought I could only do that with the Fierce Deity Mask... I don't get it, but I'm not complainin'!" Link explained. "Either way, it doesn't matter. I don't plan on gettin' into anymore RPG battles. Those things are too freakin' organized. I just like beatin' people half-way to death without havin' to wait for 'my turn'."

"Eh, even after this, I still like RPG battles more." Mario said. "Well... let's get out of here before something inexplicably grim happens."

Almost as soon as he said that, it grew extremely dark as black clouds covered the sky. Something inexplicably grim was about to happen.

"I don't believe this... Why did I even say anything?" Mario muttered as he prepared for another battle.

Suddenly, a huge bolt of lightning hit the ground with stupendous brilliance and a man with long, white hair appeared. He had a black trench coat, one large, evil-looking black wing, and a very simple, very long, but very deadly sword. Just glancing at it would remind _anyone_ that life could be very, _very_ short.

"Who is he?" Mario managed to utter to Link.

"Damnit..." Link muttered. "We're still in the Kratos Cup tournament. That's gotta be the first seed."

The man faced Mario and Link, simply staring at them. They stared back at him, petrified beyond comprehension. The white-haired man suddenly shot his left arm out. Reflexively, his single wing shot out as well, scattering black feathers onto the ground. The very air around the feathers became distorted and trembled from the power they emitted. As they landed, several visible cracks appeared in the hard, stone floor. Music began playing in the background: terrifying music that forecasted an imminent and nigh-inescapable slaughtering.

"Do you hear the music?" Link's trembling voice questioned. "Do you hear the godamn music?!"

"Look at that..." Mario muttered, watching the black down float to the ground. "His feathers, _alone_, have enough power to crack the stone!I know I don't have to say this, but we really need to leave. RIGHT NOW!!"

"You will not escape my wrath. The wrath of the chosen one: Sephiroth." He proclaimed as his foreboding theme song reached a crescendo. His voice may have had a smooth tone to it, but perhaps that's what made it so much more horrifying.

Resting the tip of his blade into the ground, Sephiroth held out his left hand. A black orb appeared in a spark of dark energy and levitated above his palm. It looked similar to the yellow materia Cloud showed them earlier...

"I will take you to the Promised Land." He said.

It then rose into the sky, parting the clouds as it traveled into space. The clouds spread so far apart that Mario and Link could see the brilliant, starlit shine of the night sky. It would've been an awe-inspiring scene if they didn't catch a glimpse of the gigantic flame-engulfed meteor that could quite possibly destroy the fibers of existence.

"I don't have to tell you what'll happen to us if we're still here when that thing hits, right?" Mario said, mortified to the point where he was just impartial to it.

"We'll get outta this! Just lemme think for a second." Link said as the environment around them turned a burning red.

"Judging by that thing's speed, we have thirty seconds to live. It _better_ be a second!" Mario shouted.

"Got it!" Link exclaimed. "I have a spell called Farore's Wind. With this, we can teleport the hell outta here quickly and safely. The only problem is I have no idea where it's gonna take us. I'm supposed to make a warp-point to teleport to, but like you can tell, I didn't do that." He explained as the stands of the Coliseum began to catch fire.

"It's better than being crushed by a meteor! USE IT!!" Mario screamed.

Link used it about the same time Meteor entered the planet's atmosphere. The Coliseum went up in a spectacular blaze just after the spell was cast.

Seconds later, Mario and Link found themselves flying up-right through a twisting vortex. They could only wonder where and how this was going to end.

"When do you think we'll get out of here? These swirling walls and flashing green colors are seriously making me sick. I think I'm about to have a seizure..." Mario complained as he uneasily held his head.

"Stop whinin'. You saw what we just escaped. Compared to that, seizures are nothin'." Link said. "We're like... two seconds away from exitin'."

"How can you tell?" Mario asked.

Link pointed to the end of the vortex: a solid green wall. The distance between them and the wall was decreasing at a rapid rate.

"You know what? I'm just going to turn around and close my eyes. Let me know if we live." Mario said casually and turned around.

They crashed through the wall with incredible force and got thrown onto new solid ground. Both of them got up and checked out their surroundings. The terrain seemed very alien. The sky was cloudless, with an orange tint to it. Mario and Link caught a glimpse at the new environment's massive sun, floating in the middle of the sky. Even though the humongous sun would suggest an unbearably hot environment, the atmosphere was actually surprisingly comfortable.

"I don't know this place at all... I don't even think it's in our galaxy. But check it: at least we can breathe." Link said with a toothy grin, trying to lighten the mood.

"I was really hoping we'd miraculously end up where we needed to be. I guess you remembering you had Farore's Wind was the miracle for the day." Mario said, sarcastically.

"Lighten up, you pessimistic bastard! We just escaped death by the width of a pubic hair!" Link shouted, angrily. "Our luck's gotta change from here."

"Pah..." Mario huffed hopelessly.

He then caught a glimpse of a metallic orange metal hull of some sort. He turned his complete attention to it and realized there was a windshield and, what seemed to be, thrusters on the bottom. Finally, proving his suspicions correct as he took notice of the aerodynamic shape, Mario cracked a hopeful smile.

"You know what? Maybe our luck _is_ changing. Look." Mario said as he pointed out the space ship he was studying.

Link looked in the direction Mario was pointing and was ecstatic.

"Oh! With this, we won't have to run around lookin' for warp-pipes anymore! Let's snatch it!" Link enthusiastically suggested.

"You read my mind. I'm a firm believer of 'Finders-Keepers'." Mario said.

They both checked the ship for an entrance. They spent a good amount of time searching, but to no avail. The craft seemed impenetrable.

"What the hell? How do you have a ship with no entrance?!" Link shouted as he was crawling around, looking for an entrance under the ship.

"Oh, there is an entrance. Just not for you two to find." A feminine voice told Link.

Mario heard the new voice and spun around, just in time to see Link and a new, grim predicament.

"Ugh..." Mario groaned as he disappointedly hung his head. "Link, whatever you do, _do not_ make any sudden movements. Just turn around _very_ slowly." Mario warned.

Link carefully heeded Mario's words and turned a very slow one-hundred and eighty degrees. Eventually, he was staring down the barrel of an arm cannon, which was charging up for a powerful, face-altering blast...


	6. Anything for a Girl: Part 1

**Act 6****: _Anything for a Girl_** (Part 1)

"Mommy..." Link whined as the heat emitted from the arm cannon made him sweat.

"What were you two planning to do with my ship?" The armor-suited girl demanded.

Most of the armor was metallic orange, except for the chest-area and the helmet which was red, and the abdomen and inner-thigh area which was a goldenrod yellow. Although she was heavily armored from head to toe, it seemed like she could be very agile with it.

"It doesn't even make sense to lie..." Mario sighed. "We were planning on stealing it to fly off this planet."

The girl responded by shooting an abnormally large missile from her charged-up cannon at Mario's feet. The impact sent him flying straight-upward and had him crashing down a few seconds later.

"I told you the truth so you _wouldn't_ do that!" Mario shouted angrily.

"Don't expect your attempted crime to go unpunished just because you're honest." She spat.

Mario unsteadily rose to his feet while the girl kept her cannon fixated on him. They glared at each other heatedly. What broke Mario's focus was the soft weeping he heard. He looked toward Link, who was still on his knees in front of his captor. He could see single little droplets slightly wetting the ground near Link's knees.

"Link... Don't tell me you're crying..." Mario muttered, disappointedly.

"I'm not cryin'... When she shot that missile, some dust flew into my eye. ...and I'm allergic to dust." He sobbed.

Mario paused, drowning in his disbelief.

"Let's just put this in perspective: you took out Cloud and Squall in one swift turn, and you figured out how we could dodge a _meteor_." Mario explained. "But when big, bad Samus comes and sticks you up with her little power cannon, you're suddenly a weakling _and_ a crybaby."

Link's ears perked up at the sound of that familiar name. "Samus...?" He pitifully muttered.

"Yes, Samus. The very same Samus you beat in the last Smash tournament." Mario said.

The whole time, Link was focused on the arm cannon in his face. Slowly glancing up, he took a look at her face. Instead of a face, he saw a full helmet covering her entire head. The only part of her face that was somewhat visible, because of a light-green see-through visor, was a slim, slender nose and a pair of piercing eyes. But to Link, these eyes were far from intimidating. He couldn't forget those eyes. He knew for sure it was her. Her introduction theme from _Metroid Prime_ majestically sounded off in his head.

"Hi..." Link timidly greeted.

"Hello, Link." Samus replied, still sounding annoyed.

"Okay. So how long are you planning on sticking us up?" Mario wondered.

"As long as it takes for my anger to subside. It hasn't been a good day for me, and you two trying to steal my ship didn't exactly brighten my mood." She said.

"Not a good day..." Link murmured to himself. "Was it one of _those_ days?" He asked Samus.

"What do you mean?" She questioned, slightly puzzled.

"You know what I mean. One of those days you females go through every now and then." Link said.

Although he couldn't see it, Link's comment left a thoroughly shocked look on Samus's masked face. No one ever talked to her like that before.

"You don't have to say anythin'. Me and Mario are here for you." Link promised, still on his knees, but holding Samus's left hand.

"No, I'm not..." Mario rejected.

"Well... _I'm_ here for you." Link corrected, now pulling her hand over his heart.

"You won't be here at all if you don't let go of my hand." She threatened.

Link immediately relinquished his hold on Samus and hopped to his feet, backing up towards Mario.

"Well, you might be havin' a crappy-ass day, but it can't be worse than mine and Mario's." Link said.

"I'll be the judge of that." Samus said.

With that, Link began telling Samus what they'd been through up until the current moment with _enhanced narration_: although Link did tell what they went though, he added his own twist to certain aspects, especially those dealing with him.

"Interesting..." Samus finally replied after hearing Link's rendition of his and Mario's adventure. She was torn halfway between belief and disbelief.

"You know, our adventure is unbelievable enough already." Mario said. "Why you had to include random explosions and you elbowing little girls in the head is beyond me."

"Hey, I didn't tell you _everythin'_ I went through before we met up. What I'm sayin' is legit." Link assured.

"Despite some blatant exaggerations, that does explain why you're here..." Samus said. "I still believe I have had the worse day."

"We'll be the judge of that." Link replied, giving a sly wink and a smile to Samus while nudging Mario's arm.

Samus could only lower her eyelids in disappointment while Mario sighed, agitatedly.

"As I was about to say..." Samus continued. "I was on my way to Tallon IV to begin my search for a criminal with high bounty on his head. He seemed to be interested in Chozo lore, so I decided that would be the best place to start. As I passed by Zebes, my radar picked up numerous bogies ready to ambush me..."

A flashback ensued...

"WARNING! NUMEROUS ENEMIES OBSTRUCTING PATH. SPACE PIRATES."

_"What? Screen." Samus ordered._

_On the windshield of her ship, a new screen appeared, displaying Samus's new threat._

_"Flying Pirates?__ Modified for galactic combat?" She was slightly surprised. She thought she had put an end to their operations with the defeat of Mother Brain._

_"These must be the few remaining forces..." She concluded._

"AWAITING ORDERS."

_"Engage the enemy. Destroy as many as possible." She commanded._

_With the ship on auto-battle, the computer took control of the craft and began its assault on the modified Pirates. The forces were weak, as the ship only needed its submachine gun to take out the lot of them._

_Suddenly, the ship felt as if it took a direct hit, lurching hard to the side._

"DAMAGE ASSESSED: SHIELDS DOWN FIFTEEN PERCENT."

_Samus knew there was only one attack the Flying Pirates had that could cause that much damage: their suicide-dive. At that that moment of realization, Pirate after Pirate took turns trying to destroy the spaceship while destroying themselves._

_"Computer, switch to manual control." Samus ordered._

_With that, Samus began maneuvering the ship as best as she could, but soon realized she was way over her head. One of the Pirates managed to get in close and aimed right for the ships thrusters. At the last possible second, Samus saw the threat and jerked left. The Pirate missed the ship, but exploded right near the ship's thrusters, throwing it out of control._

_As she fought to regain control, the Pirates saw their golden moment of opportunity. The majority of the remaining forces opened fire, showering Samus's spaceship with various plasma shots and missiles._

"SHIELDS DROPPING AT A RAPID RATE. DESTRUCTION IMMINENT."

_"We'll be fine! Just stay hopeful." Samus reassured her computer._

_Unfortunately, a Flying Pirate flew in for a final kamikaze attack. A direct hit was dealt to the thrusters, taking them completely offline, as well as sending the ship spiraling helplessly out of control._

"WARNING! WARNING! ALL THRUSTERS ARE NONFUNCTIONAL."

_The situation was dire, but Samus was never one to panic. Luckily for her, the Pirates thought she was finished and left her to float endlessly into the deepest regions of space. Planet Zebes was also in the vicinity. Using the force of recoil from her ship's weaponry, she managed to guide herself down to Zebes's surface._

"...the landing was especially difficult. I didn't realize the hit took most of my brakes out, too. I'm just glad this starship was built to last! I was able to slow the ship down enough so I could angle it to skid to a stop on the planet's surface."

"Damn..." Link uttered. "I still think we had the suckier day."

"So what are you going to do now, Samus?" Mario asked.

"What else can I do? I'm going to fix my ship." She said. "The Space Pirates used to use to occupy this planet. If I can find one of their bases, I'm sure I can find the materials I need to repair the brakes and thrusters."

"We'll help you out with that. The three of us will find what we need faster than if only one of us was lookin', right?" Link asked, waiting for an answer.

"Yes..." Samus agreed, although slightly reluctant to accept assistance.

"Then let's get goin'!" Link said as he slipped an arm around Samus's waist and started walking. Samus shoved him off and walked ahead.

"You're a smoooooth operator, Link." Mario said as he patted Link on the back and followed Samus.

"Yeah, whatever..." Link muttered and tagged along.

_We now join G1G4 B0W53R and Ganondorf in Final Destination.__  
_  
"That transformation ain't doin' shit for you, dawg. Yo' jus' a bigger and easier target to hit." Ganondorf said with a cocky smirk.

The two started a ten-stock match. Considering Ganondorf's confidence, anyone can easily see that he 0wn3d the entire bout. Ganondorf had five stock, Giga Bowser only had one left.

"fux0r j00, j00 ch34p b45t4rd! t3h tr4n5f0rm4t10n m4k35 m3 5l0w3r 4nd 1 l4g! bu7 w1th my 1-3-3-7 5k1ll5, 1'll 5t4rt pwn1ng j00 l1k3 t3h n00b j00 4r3!!11!" Giga Bowser shouted and bellowed a belly-derived roar.

"Please, is that supposed to scare me? I got this, son! You're done!" Ganondorf said and ran at Giga Bowser, but as he got closer he noticed the area on Giga Bowser's left and right sides was becoming distorted. "What the..."

The distortions slowly began to take the form of two bodies. Then, a sudden burst of lightning hit them, making them fully visible.

"Nah, man! That's bullshit!" Ganondorf said as he stared at two new enemies.

On Giga Bowser's left: Mewtwo. On Giga Bowser's right: Ganondorf II.

"This is inevitability." Mewtwo proclaimed. "I will show you why I am the ultimate Pokemon." He said as sparks of psychic energy shocked the air around him.

"This is how it is, dawg." Ganondorf II said. "Can you rock wit' us?" He asked as he held a fist up glowing with hazy dark energy.

"How the hell is there another Ganondorf here? I'm the real deal!" Ganondorf shouted.

"ph34r my 133t h4x0r sk1ll5!" Giga Bowser exulted.

Ganondorf II and Mewtwo both entered with one stock, but combined with Giga Bowser, Ganondorf's chances of winning looked very slim.

"'ph34r', my ass! I'll murk you all! Y'all can't handle the G-dorf!" Ganondorf said and charged at the crew.

Giga Bowser was the first to react, unleashing a spinning shell. His move was modified in his giga-form, now possessing the ability to freeze any poor sap caught by this attack in a frigid cage of ice. The poor sap this time around was Ganondorf. Mewtwo got in close and seeped in painful dark energy with his dark-hand attack while G-II (Ganondorf II) charged up a Warlock Punch.

Before the punch could connect, Ganondorf freed himself from the ice and cleared the area with a forceful Wizard's Foot. The move hit all three of his adversaries, sending Mewtwo and G-II flying a little. Giga Bowser's massive girth kept him from even budging. Once Ganondorf landed, Giga Bowser clapped him with a dark fist, giving Mewtwo and G-II time to recover while Ganondorf painfully landed on his back. Quickly recovering, he then jumped into the air toward Giga Bowser, but G-II was there to meet him as he hit Ganondorf with a double-footed force stomp. Ganondorf was spiked so quickly and so hard into the ground that he bounced up once he hit the floor. Immediately following, Giga Bowser slammed him with an explosive giga headbutt, sending him flying into oblivion and stealing one stock. Ganondorf respawned, looking pissed and evilly staring them down.

"You people are fuckin' cheap." Ganondorf said. "But even that shit you pullin' won't save yo' asses. One-by-one, you'll all be feelin' it." He promised and charged again toward Mewtwo.

Mewtwo returned the gesture and charged at Ganondorf as well. Just when they were about to crash into each other, Ganondorf quickly rolled backward, expecting Mewtwo to do the same. Mewtwo, being a psychic, read Ganondorf's failed fake-out all too easily and continued to glide closer to G-dorf, finally grabbing him and shocking him with paralyzing mind-waves. G-II and Giga Bowser jetted towards the helpless Ganondorf and relentlessly smacked him around with light, but effective slashes and punches. Ganondorf was being hit from all sides and couldn't move.

"THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!" Ganondorf screamed. "GET OFF ME, SON!! LET ME FUCKIN' GO!!!"

"As you wish..." Mewtwo said and used his psychic powers to swirl Ganondorf around him and launch him upward. He was thrown so high that he vanished into the background. Ganondorf respawned again with three lives this time.

"You motha-fuckas are jus' wrong." Ganondorf said as he landed on the battleground from the respawn pad.

"You're wrong, mofo. What we doin' is all legal." G-II corrected. "This is a three-on-one, baby. You thought this was gonna be easy? We got you on lock, son! You ain't gonna kill none of us!" G-II stated confidently.

"I'ma kill all three of you, mark my words, son. And I'ma start wit' you." Ganondorf said, pointing to his clone.

"j00 h4v3 t0 g3t thr0ugh m3, f1r5t, j00 n00b!" Giga Bowser stated and resumed his fighting stance.

This time, Mewtwo took the initiative by charging up a Shadow Ball. Ganondorf tried to stop him with a Gerudo Dragon, but Giga Bowser protected his battle ally by slamming the ground with a massive Giga Bowser Bomb. The impact radius knocked Ganondorf into the air, letting G-II take advantage of Ganondorf's helplessness with a Dark Drive. After an explosion of dark energy, Ganondorf flew off the edge of the stage and began to fall. Mewtwo finished charging his Shadow Ball and glided a little towards the edge to greet him just in case he returned. Ganondorf recovered in mid-fall and began trying to double-jump back to the stage.

Aiming to guarantee another stock lost for G-dorf, G-II decided to jump off the stage to try to catch him with a heavy fist. Ganondorf saw G-II coming and reacted with a Dark Drive of his own, grabbing G-II in mid-air and blowing him away into the side of the stage. Gaining an extra jump, Ganondorf hopped once again and managed to grab onto the edge. G-II recovered from the attack and tried to return to the edge as well, but Ganondorf was still hanging on and blocked his way. _Edgehog_ bonus! G-II ended up falling into the depths of oblivion.

Ganondorf hopped back up to the battle field and taunted Mewtwo and Giga Bowser, curling himself into a ball and spinning once while laughing. Little did he know that Mewtwo's Shadow Ball was fully charged... While Ganondorf was laughing, Mewtwo launched the ball and blasted him into the next dimension! He shortly returned with two lives left.

"Your cockiness will be your downfall." Mewtwo said as Ganondorf hopped down from the respawn pad.

"Please, I still got two lives left and there's only two of ya'll now. If you don't know, y'all are 'bout to get rocked like never before!" Ganondorf threatened and charged again.

_FAST FORWARD..._

After getting horribly screwed, Ganondorf ended up with one life left while Giga Bowser and Mewtwo still had one life each. Cockiness was his downfall for that stock. Needless to say, things weren't looking too good for Ganondorf.

"Yo, seriously, I feel violated. I got screwed so much, it might as well have been rape..." Ganondorf said, irritated.

"n0 3xcu535, j00 n00b! j00 4r3n't l33t 3nuff t0 f1ght u5!! W3 PWN J00!!11!one!" Giga Bowser shouted and made the first move.

Ganondorf didn't expect such a sudden move and got caught by a Koopa Klaw. As Giga Bowser was chomping away at Ganondorf, Mewtwo was attacking him with the dark hand. Ganondorf was able to escape the hold, jumped and force-stomped Mewtwo. While Mewtwo was flying high into the air, Ganondorf caught Giga Bowser with his Double Kick and sent Giga Bowser flying straight up into the air, as well. He followed up by double-jumping up to Giga Bowser and delivering the heavy fist, sending Giga Bowser off the stage this time. Giga Bowser attempted to come back with a Whirling Fortress. Ganondorf prepared to welcome him back with an explosive heel drop. Giga Bowser was fingernail's length from the ledge, but it didn't matter...

BLA-DOW!!!

Ganondorf let the heel drop, creating a small but very effective explosion. Giga Bowser was sent spiraling away so fast; he wrapped the fighting arena and disappeared into the background. Mewtwo finally landed from Ganondorf's force stomp and attacked him with Galaxy Force. Ganondorf didn't fly too high from the attack and recovered quickly enough to catch Mewtwo with a Dark Drive. He got knocked across the stage, almost off the edge, but caught himself and hopped to his feet. They reached a stalemate and glared at each other, intensely.

"So, it has all come down to this: the ultimate evil of Hyrule vs. the ultimate Pokemon. This may seem like the ultimate match, do not expect an even battle. You're a brawler, or a fighting-type in my eyes. I can read all your moves like a book. It is impossible for you to win, trust me. If you admit defeat now, I will say to everyone that we are equal. But you and I will always know that I am far superior to you." Mewtwo said with an evil glare.

"You seriously gotta be jokin'... There's no way I'ma be even wit' a damn Pokemon. Put 'em up, M-dot. We doin' this from start to finish." Ganondorf said.

"Very well. Prepare for your end." Mewtwo said and prepared another Shadow Ball.

Ganondorf ran toward Mewtwo to attempt to scare him out of the Shadow Ball, but he diligently continued to charge. Ganondorf decided to attack with a Wizard's Foot at the last second. Predicting such a move, Mewtwo stopped charging the Shadow Ball and used Confusion. Ganondorf was flipped over like a pancake and fell face-first on the floor. Suddenly, he was sent flying back to the opposite side of the battleground because of Mewtwo's Shadow Bomb attack. Finally finishing his charging of the Shadow Ball, Mewtwo held up his glowing fist and chuckled evilly.

"Do you see it now? My victory is inevitable!" He stated. "My offer still stands: give up and no one will know of your inferiority except you and me."

Ganondorf only responded by menacingly stepping closer to his psychic adversary. Mewtwo stood his ground as Ganondorf came closer. Just when Ganondorf was close enough, Mewtwo let off a Shadow Blast. Ganondorf dodged the attack by sidestepping and grabbed Mewtwo, relentlessly burying his foot in his opponent's stomach and finally slamming him into the ground. With a strong bounce, Mewtwo floated helplessly into the air, allowing Ganondorf to capitalize with a double-jump, followed by an aerial somersault kick. Ganondorf was successful in his attack and sent Mewtwo flying far off the stage. Mewtwo recovered in mid-air and attempted to come back to the arena.

"You can read all my moves, huh?" Ganondorf shouted. "Then I'm damn-sure you'll be readin' this! HHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..." Ganondorf said as he charged up the Warlock Punch, trying to time it for when Mewtwo would show up at the ledge.

Before Mewtwo could even reach the ledge, he let off his Shadow Ball and caught Ganondorf in the face. Ganondorf was so lost in his offense, he forgot all about it! As he was flying away at lightning speed into the background, Mewtwo attempted to Teleport back to the edge to grab it. The recoil from the Shadow Ball pushed him too far back, though, leaving too much space between himself and the edge for him to grab on. Mewtwo began falling to his doom as Ganondorf started flying further and further into obscurity.

The burning question: who would fall first?

_Back in reality...__  
_  
"GANONDORF!!!" Bowser screamed angrily while pounding a nearby wall. "I can't believe he was able to school me like that in my Giga form! Now I see why Gerudo men automatically become kings. They're just unstoppable..." He said as he looked at the screen monitoring the match in Final Destination. The field was empty. "Where the hell are they?"

Just then, a large portal in the wall opened up and spit out one of the fighters. He looked around, scanning the area for the one he was just fighting. Unfortunately, all he saw was Bowser, looking just as confused and angry as he was. The crushing reality that he was the first one out hit him hard.

"FUCK!!!" Ganondorf shouted in extreme anger and disappointment.

Mewtwo popped out of the wormhole a second later.

"Ha ha haaa... Remember this day, Ganondorf. You cannot beat a psychic." Mewtwo said with an evil smile.

"Whatever, son... That match turned into bullshit as soon as yo' cheap-ass showed up." Ganondorf muttered, sounding uncharacteristically depressed.

"Hey, the match didn't mean anything. It was just a sparring session, like you said. Don't let the loss get to you." Bowser said, sensing Ganondorf's disappointment.

"Whatever, man." Ganondorf sighed and walked away, leaving his secret room.

As soon as he left, Mewtwo began laughing, and continued laughing a taunting laughter. He received a sideways glance from Bowser.

"I know it feels good to win, but you need to calm down a little. What's so funny, anyway?" Bowser asked.

"I really did not win. I was the first to exit the portal, but I teleported back in so you would not see me. After Ganondorf was thrown out, I exited the portal again, making it seem like he was the first to fall." Mewtwo explained with villainous content.

"You really are evil. You crushed his spirits, man!" Bowser said.

"I do not have time to be concerned with petty emotions. I merely took advantage of what I had available to me. If he wishes to think he lost, then so be it." Mewtwo said, crossing his arms.

"Can't argue with that..." Bowser shrugged. "Well, I'm gonna go make sure he doesn't turn violent and do something grim to the girls. Maybe afterwards, we can all do something with them. You can use your psychic powers to make 'em do things they wouldn't voluntarily do." Bowser suggested with a suggestive smile.

"I do not use my powers for something as menial as the manipulation of helpless women. More important matters are in need of my powers, such as the liberation of all Pokemon. Once I achieve that goal, we will take back the world that is rightfully ours." Mewtwo said with a closed fist of determination.

"Ah, alright. Gimme a call if you need some help with that. I'm always ready to lend a hand in world domination." Bowser offered.

"I appreciate your gesture, but I will require no additional assistance. I've had premonitions and I have seen my success time and time again. Nothing will stand in my way." Mewtwo assured.

"With confidence like that, I doubt anything can. Good luck with that." Bowser said.

"Farewell." He said, suddenly disappearing.


	7. Anything for a Girl: Part 2

**Act 6****: _Anything for a Girl_** (Part 2)

_Finally__ re-joining Samus, Mario, and Link..._

After dealing with the many hostile creatures of Zebes and searching the planet's bizarre stone environment, the trio closed in on what seemed to be a shelter of some sort.

"That it?" Link asked.

"It seems so..." Samus said.

The base looked like some sort of dome, mostly metallic, but rusting probably because of its long exposure to the harsh elements.

"This place looks pretty run down. You sure you'll find what you need here?" Mario wondered.

"I hope so. We've been searching for hours and this is the only base we've found." Samus said.

"So are we goin' in or what?" Link asked, walking toward the entrance.

He found a closed octagonal doorway rimmed in a blue outline. He reached for the doorknob only to find out that there was none to speak of.

"Umm... doorknob?" Link turned to Samus, perplexed.

She shot a single plasma bullet at the door and suddenly, it opened. Mario and Link raised their eyebrows in surprise as they followed Samus into the old Space Pirate base. Immediately, they were impressed by the shape of the base's interior. Even though the outside suggested it was old and decrepit, the inside looked like it was maintained every day.

"Wow, looks can be deceiving... I actually wouldn't mind staying here for a while." Mario said.

"That's not a bad idea, Mario! We should ease out here overnight." Link suggested. "I mean, we've all been through some real insanity today. It's time for some chillination. What you think, Samus-baby?"

"I'm not your baby... and I guess it wouldn't hurt if we rested here, briefly. Though I'm confused as to how this place still looks as if it's being used." Samus wondered.

"It must be safe since you got rid of all the Pirates, right? And you did say the Pirates that attacked didn't follow you down to the surface, right? I say all signs point to 'safe house'. I'm sure we'll be fine here." Mario assured Samus.

"Exactly what I was thinkin'. So since we're stayin', let's set up the rooms." Link suggested. "Dibs on a crib with Samus!" Link exclaimed, turning to Samus and smiling.

"Not even in your wildest dreams..." Samus said, shaking her head.

She spotted another door in the room, shot it open, and peeked inside. Beside the bed was a save station, which had the ability to recharge her suit to maximum performance. This room would be perfect for her, she thought.

"I'll spend the night in this room. ALONE." She enforced, glaring at Link.

"Whatever makes you more comfy, baby. Just tell me when you're goin' to sleep. I'll be there to tuck you in." Link said to Samus with a wink.

With a disgusted groan, Samus went into the room and let the door close with a sharp "clang".

"You know..." Mario started. "I think you're trying too hard to get Samus to like you. Right now, she probably thinks you're just some creep trying to get under her suit. You should hear yourself. It's pretty embarrassing."

"Meh, she's just playin' hard-to-get. I did the same things with Zelda. Eventually, she gave into my undeniable charm and we got together." Link boasted.

"Oh yeah, you're still with Zelda..." Mario remembered. "...am I the only one who sees a problem here?"

"What problem?" Link wondered.

"You're still with Zelda, but it's pretty obvious that you're trying to get close to Samus." Mario said. "What'll you tell them when they both meet up claiming to be your girlfriend?"

"That's not gonna happen." Link assured. "I've been plannin' on breakin' off this relationship I was in for a while, now. Zelda's been actin' more aggressive than she should be; tryin' to make decisions for both of us and crap like that, like she's the man of the relationship. I can't be dealin' with that. _I'm_ the man in this relationship! I'm the Hero of Time!" Link paused as his valiant fanfare blared throughout the relative silence of the enclosed dome, smiling contently. "I can never get tired of that. But anyway, since she got kidnapped, that's gotta be a reality-check for her. She can't be the man if she can get kidnapped. She can't be the man if she needs to be rescued. Hell, she can't be the man because she's not even a man! I'm a man. I can't get kidnapped. I rescue the damsels in distress. Therefore, I'm the man of the relationship. In fact, I'm the man, PERIOD."

Mario chuckled a little. "You know, it almost sounds like you and Ganondorf plotted to kidnap Zelda just so you could show her all that. But you do realize you're contradicting yourself, right? If you're trying to show Zelda how defenseless she is and how she could never be 'the man', then why are you after Samus? She's so far away from helpless... If she wanted to be the man in any relationship, she could. And I doubt anyone would be able to stop her..."

"Samus is different. Somethin' about her makes me want her real bad, man... I can't even explain it. Zelda is pretty and all, but Samus has that mystery factor that I can't resist. I can sense that she's beautiful under that suit. Ever since the first Smash Brothers tournament, I've wanted her." Link explained. "I know I'm actin' extremely immature right now, but all the foolishness I'm sayin' is all I can think of. I guess I like her so much, I have problems sayin' what I really wanna say. I want her to notice me for somethin', even if it is for how goofy I am."

"Well, you _are _being noticed. I guarantee that." Mario stated. "You know what you should do? Stop all the idiocy and just be yourself. I've known you since the very first Smash Tournament, and I know you're not as dumb as you're acting now."

"Yeah, I really should quit all that. Samus probably thinks I'm a blitherin' dumbass." Link sighed.

"That can be changed." Mario said. "I say, tomorrow, start up a casual, _normal _conversation with her. Ask her about her favorite things and such. All in all, just make her feel like a woman. It's as simple as that."

"Sounds like a plan... Let's try a mock convo. I'll be myself and you'll be Samus." Link suggested.

"Are you kidding me? Do I look like I can think like a woman? That's Luigi's job, bless his foolish soul..." Mario said, looking up past the ceiling, to the sky.

"C'mon!" Link threw out his arms. "When we get to the Green Hill Zone, I'm bringin' your brother back from the dead! The least you can do is act like a girl so I have a chance at scorin' with Samus."

"See, I haven't even started acting yet and you've already failed. I'm not helping you do this so you can score!" Mario stressed.

"Your definition of 'score' is probably different from mine..." Link pointed out. "I'm not talkin' about the dirty version."

Mario simply let out a contemplative sigh. "You know what? Let me sleep on it. If I decide to do it, I'll wake you up early so you'll have time to chat with her later on."

Link smiled in response. "You're the man. I already know you'll do it. I'll be up for that." Link said and gave Mario a DAP. "Let's find somewhere to sleep. I'm about to fall on the floor, man."

"I'm sleepy, too. I haven't seen a minute of rest ever since I left my house in Mushroom Kingdom! ...seems like such a long time ago..." Mario said.

They climbed the stairway near the entrance to the base which led to a balcony and entered the first door on that level by pressing a button on the side of the doorway. Two invitingly comfortable beds awaited them in the room. Full-sized beds, too!

"Whoa, it's like someone knew we were comin'[/blatantforeshadowing I call the left!" Link said and jumped onto the bed. "Ahhhhhh... Damnit, it never felt so good to lie down in a bed! I wish Samus was here with me." Link said as he threw his weapons to the side and closed his eyes.

"I keep telling you... With that mentality, you won't get anywhere with Samus. She's not like that!" Mario said. He waited for Link's response, but realized he had quickly fallen asleep. "Hmm. Good night to you, too." Mario said and flopped onto his bed, quickly falling asleep as well.

_Later that night..._

Link lied awake in his bed, face up, thinking about none other than Samus. He tried sleeping, but all his dreams would end the same way: him standing with Samus lovingly wrapped in his arms. It was driving him crazy.

"Din, why I can't stop dreamin' about her? I can't wait until the mornin'. I need to see her now." Link said to himself and quietly got up out of bed. "Mario? You awake?"

The only reply he got was loud snoring.

"Damn..." Link shook his head and walked toward Samus's room.

Once he reached the door to her room, Link half-expected the entrance to be lined with proximity explosives. He figured Samus would take all the necessary precautions to protect herself from a possible intrusion, especially from him.

After hesitating to open the door, he slammed the button, dove into the room, then braced himself for anything that might happen. To his relief, everything remained calm. He found Samus out of her Varia suit and in her bed, fast asleep. She slept on her back, with one arm across her chest and the other under her covers. Her bed was right next to the save station. The soft light that radiated from the station shined onto Samus's face, revealing her to be extremely beautiful. Her hair was long and golden-blond, her skin was a fair peachy-cream complexion, and her face was unrealistically pretty. Even though they were closed, her cerulean-blue eyes certainly wouldn't take away from her beauty if they were opened. For a battle-worn woman who wore a heavy power suit almost twenty-four-seven, she REALLY knew how to take care of herself. Link was so astonished by her beauty, that his heart skipped a few beats.

"Sweet Nayru..." Link managed to choke out, patting his heart trying to get it to beat normally again. "You'd destroy Zelda in a beauty contest."

Link continued to talk to Samus, even though she was asleep. He slowly started walking toward her bed.

"Mario said I should talk to you in the mornin', but I can't wait that long, baby. I been havin' dreams about us bein' together... I needed to see you now. Ever since I first saw you here, you're all I been thinkin' about... I know I been actin' mad stupid since then. I'm sorry 'bout that. It's just that I like you so much... maybe even _love _you so much... that I can't be myself. I guess I'm tryin'-- AGH!!"

Link threw a hand over his screaming mouth to keep himself quiet. He silently cursed himself for not seeing Samus's Varia suit and clumsily tripping over its leg. Even though there was some clamoring, it seemed like Samus didn't hear anything.

"Damnit, that thing messed up my flow... What was I sayin'...?" He stood back and pondered. "Oh yeah... I guess I was just tryin' to impress you. But I know you're smarter than that. If I did impress you with the B.S. I was doin', that'd kill what makes me so into you. I want a smart girl. I want a strong girl. I want you, girl. I want you... Samus."

Link was now standing over Samus with his heart fluttering as he gazed at her peaceful, sleeping face. He suddenly looked away, feeling ashamed and disappointed.

"There's no way I'ma be able to say anythin' like that when she's awake. I'ma be doin' the same dumbass things again..." Link sighed, defeated. He looked towards Samus again. "Hopefully, you at least heard a sentence of what I said. I know it'd make you feel me just a little more than you are, now." Link paused for a moment, simply staring at Samus. "Maybe you'll be able to feel this..." He said as he lowered his head down to kiss Samus's cheek.

Little did Link know that Samus had been awake ever since he tripped over the Varia suit. The charge of a high-powered arm cannon could be heard...

_Meanwhile, with a loudly-snoring Mario... __  
_  
"...lasagna... ...ahh, pasta... ...ravioli... ...oohhh Mama Mia..."

BA-BA-BA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

"**HHHHHUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!**" 

"WHOOoooOOOoooOOOAAAAoooo!!!" Mario screamed as the rumbling foundation made him fall out of bed. "What's-a going on?" He looked to Link's bed, noticing it was clear. "Where's-a Link? And-a why am I-a talking like-a this?" Mario said in his famous Italian accent and ran toward Samus's room. "Hey-a! Open-a the door! It's-a me: Mario!" Mario shouted, pounding the door.

The door opened and Samus was standing in the doorway. She was wearing tight black shorts and a matching black sports bra.

"Samus! What's-a going on-a here? I-a was-a sleeping-a and-a..." Mario stopped talking and closed his eyes, trying to gather himself. "Okie-dokie..." He sighed. "I heard an explosion. When I got up to check things, Link was missing." Mario calmly explained in his "regular" voice.

"No, no. Everything is fine. Come see for yourself..." Samus said, leading the way into the room.

She pointed to the right of the doorway. There, Link was plastered against the wall, charred black and unconscious.

"I _told _him to wait until the morning..." Mario sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. "Anything for a girl, right, Link?" He glared at his unconscious body. "I'll take care of him in the morning."

"No, you don't have to bring it up. It wasn't anything serious. Besides, I'm sure he's learned his lesson for the day: never try to kiss a woman who sleeps with her power cannon." Samus said, stroking her arm cannon.

Mario uttered a laugh. "I guess that thing is detachable from your power suit. I'll just peel him off the wall so we can let you get back to sleep." Mario said.

A little while later, Mario and the still-unconscious Link were ready to head back to their room.

"Good night, Samus." Mario said and left Samus's room, carrying Link over his shoulder. "And sorry about this little episode."

"Don't worry about it." She assured him as he slapped the button to close the door.

Before she closed her eyes, she thought about Link for a second. She couldn't help but let a smile take over her face.

"Link..." She hummed, warmly, as she fell asleep.

_Later that morning...__  
_  
Link was the first one up and seemed to be perfectly fine despite what happened to him that night.

"Gotta find the bathroom..." Link yawned in a half-asleep state while pushing the "open door" button.

As soon as he stepped outside, he was greeted by a simply unbelievable scene.

"Wow." He muttered, simply refusing to believe what he was seeing.

He walked across the balcony and toward another door he hoped to be a bathroom. Success! It was a spotless, white-tiled restroom, complete with an auto-flush toilet! He stepped inside and stood over the toilet, finally relieving himself.

"Yes... Sweet, sweet liberation..." Link moaned.

As he emptied himself out, there were several explosions and a loud roar of pain. Some of the explosions were so strong, Link was wobbled off balance, missing his mark and sprinkling the toilet seat and the floor a little.

"Damnit..." He muttered as he finished up and promptly cleaned after himself.

After washing his hands, he opened the door and stepped onto the balcony, about to return to his room. He was immediately greeted by a renegade spike, which flew directly into the wall beside his head.

"Wow... that almost sucked..." He muttered, still refusing to believe what was taking place right in front of him.

He finally made it back to his room and stepped through the doorway, pounding the button to close the door. As the door closed, a large, fiery explosion went off, creating strong winds and nearly knocking Link's hood off. Completely unaffected, Link collapsed onto bed and fell asleep.

A few minutes later, Link woke up again. This time, he just couldn't sleep anymore. Suddenly, he remembered the dream he just had. He walked over to Mario's bed and decided to check on him.

"Hey, Mario, you up yet? I gotta tell you about the craziest dream I had." Link said as he shook Mario awake.

"Ugh..." He groaned as he lazily stirred. "You could've given me five more minutes... I was dreaming about killing Bowser... I mean in the _worst_ way possible. It's so bad, I can't even tell you about it... It would ruin my image as a hero. So evil..." Mario shuddered. "Anyway, what is it?" He said sleepily while rubbing his eyes.

"It was freakin' ludicrous! It all started with me havin' to go to the bathroom. So I get up and go. But when I stepped onto the balcony, I see some _crazy_-ass things!" Link exclaimed.

"As opposed to normal-ass things?" Mario inquired.

"Just listen." Link said, not appreciating Mario's sardonic tone. "Samus was fighting Kraid right outside! _Without her armor_! She still had her arm cannon, but it looked like it wasn't enough. The weirdest part was that Kraid had tentacles. LOTS of tentacles. It was pretty freakin' nasty."

"Alright, so Samus was getting beaten. And what were you doing?" Mario asked.

"I was like 'wow', but I still had to take a piss, so I just went to the bathroom and did my thing. I heard mad explosions and roarin', and sometimes the ground shook so I sprayed the sides a little. But I cleaned up!" Link quickly added after seeing a look of disgust on Mario's face. "So then I washed my hands and stepped outside. Then, a renegade spike almost decapitates me! I was like 'wow, again', then I just went back to the room. The last thing I heard before I closed the door was a big-ass 'BOOM'."

"You mean to tell me you didn't even _once_ think about helping Samus?" Mario said, amazed at Link's carelessness.

"I guess I kinda knew it was only a dream, but that piss felt way too good to be only a dream..." Link remembered. "Besides, Samus killed Kraid before, right? And Kraid doesn't have tentacles, right? That spells 'dream' to me."

"Hmmm..." Mario headed towards the door and lightly tapped the button to open the door.

The door slowly opened, revealing that surely enough, Kraid really was outside, he really did have tentacles, and Samus really was getting murked really badly.

"HA HA HA!! Pitiful Samus, you fell for our trap! You should know better... ...know better than to think there's a safe haven for you on Zebes!" Kraid shouted at Samus.

A battered Samus struggled to stand but got slapped across the face by one Kraid's tentacles.

Mario closed the door and looked at Link with the utmost disappointment.

"Don't look at me like that! I thought it was a dream! Samus wouldn't fight without her armor!" Link said.

"Well, she is! And if we don't help her out somehow, this _will_ be our new home." Mario said.

Link opened the door again and saw Kraid holding Samus in the air with his tentacles.

"I should kill you right now... ...kill you by squeezing you until all your bodily fluids leak out of your pores... ...squeezing you until your bones crack and shatter... ...squeezing you until your brain oozes out of your ears... But in your current state, killing you would be too easy. You're current state is not a hundred percent... I want you to face me again when you are." Kraid said while squeezing Samus.

Samus could feel herself losing consciousness, but she could also faintly feel something slithering around her legs. Kraid's tentacles...

"...but you're not escaping me that easily! I want you to feel the same pain, mental anguish, and shame I feel..." Kraid held Samus so that her legs were pointing toward him, and used his tentacles to force them apart. "This is payback! Payback for destroying Mother Brain... ...payback for destroying me..." Kraid said as his tentacles inched closer and closer to Samus.

"What the hell is he doin'?" Link asked completely perplexed, turning to Mario. Mario's face was pale with disbelief.

"I know that look... Bowser would get that same look whenever he was around Peach... If he does what I think he's about to do..." Mario said, clenching his fist in anger as he lightly tapped the "door close" button.

"What?! Why are you closin' the door? What's he gonna do?" Link asked impatiently.

"I'm afraid of your reaction. He might hear you." Mario said and motioned Link to come closer, whispering what would happen in his ear.

All color was drained from Link's face, leaving him with a horrified and pale look. His pupils narrowed as he felt an anger unlike anything he'd ever felt before.

"NO!!! NOT TO SAMUS!!! THAT SICK PIECE OF SHIT!!! WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING!!!" Link freaked out. In blind fury, he was about to bullet out the door.

"Wait a minute!" Mario shouted, using all his strength to hold Link back. "If he sees us, we'll all be in some seriously deep trouble. Those tentacles look pretty tough. It's best if we get in there and do IMMEDIATE damage." He pounded his fist as he said the word. Mario then caught a glance at Link's Master Sword leaning against the wall. "I have an idea. Grab your sword and hold it out."

With Link listening well, Mario started heating the sword up with fireballs from both of his hands. Mario fired the sword up to be so hot, the blade was burning red and the air around it became heat-distorted and wavy.

"Okay, you know what do when I slam that button..." Mario said.

Link only nodded solemnly.

_Back outside...__  
_  
Samus struggled weakly to free herself, but she was too beaten and exhausted to even scream. She closed her eyes and prepared for the worst. A tear found its way out of her eye and down her cheek. Just when things looked their grimmest...

"YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Link screamed as he jumped off the scaffold of the second floor to the tentacles holding Samus. He severed the tentacles that were holding her in place with incredible ease. The sword sliced through like a hot knife through butter.

"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Kraid cried in sheer pain.

Link landed just before Samus hit the floor and was able to catch her. Samus opened her eyes for a brief second and saw Link. They gazed into each other's eyes. She managed to give a weak smile, and then fainted. Link felt his heart sink into the pit of his stomach as tears welled up in his eye.

"You _dare_ interfere with my plans? You _dare_ defend this scum? You will PAY!!" Kraid shouted and was about to impale Link with one of his tentacles.

Link was still holding Samus and could not defend himself. He braced himself for impact...

"RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Kraid suddenly roared in blinding agony. The tentacle stopped mere inches before Link's heart.

Link looked up at Kraid's face to see that it was on fire! Mario was on the edge of the second floor balcony, sending a volley of what seemed like millions of fireballs at bullet velocity right at Kraid's eyes. Kraid was swatting desperately at his face to put out the flames.

"Finish him, Link!" Mario shouted as he continued shooting fireballs at Kraid.

Link laid Samus quickly, but carefully, against a wall and ran toward Kraid. He was swinging his tentacles wildly, but Link was able to dodge them and agilely jump from tentacle to tentacle toward his face. Link finally reached it and buried his burning blade right into Kraid's skull.

"...you... can't... kill me..." Kraid rasped on the verge of death, struggling to form a sentence. "Mother Brain... will rise... again..."

Link responded by shoving the sword deeper into his brain. Kraid fell limp to the floor and let out one final sigh, signifying he was no more.

Link went over to Samus to see how she was doing. She was still unconscious and her breathing was labored. Mario followed Link and tried to offer Link some compassion.

"You alright?" Mario asked as he put his hand on Link's shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm good." Link muttered with a lump forming in this throat. "She'll be alright, right?"

"Come on, Link. This is Samus Aran! You know as well as I do that she'll be fine." Mario said, gently shaking Link's shoulder. "You did one hell of a job finishing Kraid. People can't even _dream_ of monsters like that, but not only did you face it; you selflessly risked your life to defeat it and saved Samus. I _know_ she'll be grateful for your bravery, Link. You're not just the Hero of Time. You're a hero for the ages."

It was hard for Link to contain a smile after hearing such kind words from Mario.

"That means a lot comin' from you, Mario. Thanks a lot." Link said, embracing his partner.

Even though it didn't seem like it sometimes, they were actually getting along more and more with each event they went through and survived. There was actually a strong bond between them. A brotherly bond...

"Let's bring her to her room. When she wakes up, we gotta get out of here. Who knows how many other Pirates know that Samus is here." Link mentioned gravely.

"I just thought about that. We should try to find the materials Samus needs while she's asleep." Mario suggested.

Link nodded and bought Samus to her room while Mario began scavenging for possible ship-repair materials.

_Returning to Ganondorf's Castle..._

"Hey, Ganondorf." Bowser said as he saw Ganondorf, still looking depressed.

"I still can't get over it, son. That match was _mine_. I felt it right here." Ganondorf stated, with a fist over his heart. "And I still lost... The Gerudo kings before me are probably laughin' their asses off."

"What if I told you something..." Bowser started.

"What?" Ganondorf responded, slighty turning his head to Bowser.

"Something that might infuriate you beyond all comprehension..." Bowser continued. 

"It can't get me anymore pissed off than I already am. Jus' spit it." Ganondorf said.

"Okay, but just promise not to take it out on me." Bowser added.

"You're my boy, B-Boss. I ain't got no reason to do somethin' like that. That's my word, man." Ganondorf promised.

Bowser then began to tell Ganondorf what really happened after the match between him and Mewtwo.

Ganondorf's eyelid twitched...

Outside of Ganondorf's fortress was looking very dark and desolate. Everything seemed as hopeless as the former town in front of the towering stronghold, which was now occupied by ReDeads.

"You know... things are really boring without anyone to scare here..." One of the ReDeads said.

"I agree whole-heartedly. ...even though I lack the necessary appendage do so." Another one said.

"I feel like feasting on someone's knowledge." A third ReDead said. "They say knowledge is power, and I'm feeling pretty weak right now."

"But where are we going to find someone? No one comes here anymore; we either scared them all off or devoured their brains. I believe that sends a strong message." The second ReDead said.

In the distance, an explosion could be heard, followed by screaming.

"aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Bowser screamed as he flew from the castle, to the middle of "ReDead Town", and landed on his head. "He promised not to take it out on me..." Bowser sighed, disorientated.

"Perfect timing!" A ReDead exclaimed.

"Hmmm, his brain might be a little rattled, but it'll do! Besides, I like them that way: shaken, not stirred." One of the ReDeads said.

They all laughed as they slowly closed in on a befuddled Bowser.


	8. Long Time, No See: Part 1

**Act 7****: _Long Time No See_** (Part 1)

Link and Mario managed to find the materials for the ship while Samus recovered from her traumatizing experience. As soon as she was back on her feet, she put on her Varia suit once again and the three set off to fix her starship.

"Do you two realize the incredible danger you've put yourselves in?" Samus asked, seemingly upset as they walked toward her starship. "This is why I was so reluctant to ask for your help. My enemies will become your enemies. And now, you've gained yourselves my worst enemy yet."

"How about a 'thank you'?" Link replied.

Samus sighed. "Yes, I'm grateful you two were there to help, but you have no idea what you're now up against. Even after all these years of fighting them, I _still_ have difficulty defeating them. Space Pirates are an ever-evolving race, creating technological leaps and bounds as we speak." Samus explained as they walked toward the starship.

"You make it sound like they're invincible. Did you see what me and Mario did to Kraid back there? If that's their biggest and baddest dude, then what do we have to worry about?! Space Pirates? They can all kiss my ass! I'll finish 'em all the same way." Link countered with confidence, wearing a smug sneer on his face.

"I think I'm with Link on this one, Samus." Mario agreed. "Seriously, I expected him to be a lot tougher. Even Bowser put up more of a fight than that. I don't know what you're so afraid of."

Being undermined was one thing Samus couldn't stand more than anything, and that's exactly what was happening now.

"Do you think I've fought against the Space Pirates for _this _long and _still_ not know what they're capable of? Excuse me, dynamic duo, but you haven't seen _shit_ yet." Samus sternly stated. This definitely caused Link and Mario to walk a little slower with their heads a little lower. "You two feel so confident now. You want to know the truth? The Kraid you defeated at that base was nothing more than a vastly inferior clone."

Mario and Link stopped dead in their tracks, their confidence immediately vanishing.

"The truth hurts, doesn't it?" Samus said, feeling no remorse for their crushed spirits. "I scanned the body before we left. It was a mutated clone. Now, as I said before: Space Pirates are creating technological leaps and bounds everyday. They have highly advanced cloning technology and are able to genetically enhance their clones to perform in a multitude of scenarios. They only clone their most powerful living beings."

"But I thought you killed Kraid before." Link said.

"This isn't the first time Kraid has returned. Space Pirates are also able to revive their fallen comrades. I can potentially be fighting Kraid for the rest of my life..." Samus grimly sighed.

Silence befell the group as they continued their trek back to Samus's starship. Once they finally returned, they began their repairs on the ship with the new materials they found. Quickly, the ship was repaired, and they entered the cockpit of the ship.

"Wow, this is freakin' cool!" Link exclaimed as he looked around.

There were all types of buttons, gauges, and triggers; way too many for him to comprehend. He felt like a little kid, feeling compelled to press every button he saw. But since he was aiming to recreate his image for Samus, he controlled his childish urges.

"So what's our plan of action? We can't exactly head straight to Green Hill Zone now." Mario said. "We'd risk bringing the Space Pirates with us. As much as I hate Sonic, I don't want him to have those guys to worry about. I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

"I think the path is obvious. We must find Kraid and destroy him, hopefully once and for all. I'm confident that he's the only one who knows of our whereabouts. If we find him quickly, the rest of the Pirates will never know of our presence." Samus said.

"How exactly do we find him? It's not like we're lookin' for him in our backyard. He can be anywhere in the universe! It might take forever to find him..." Link said, hopelessly.

"Do you know who built this ship? The Chozo were the most knowledgeable race in the galaxy! Their technology matches that of the Space Pirates, if not exceeds theirs!" Samus said, proudly. "The Chozo infused their limitless knowledge of the universe into this ship. All we have to do is give the ship a sample of a target's DNA and it will scan the entire galaxy in order to find a matching DNA sample."

"We kinda left clone-Kraid back at the base. And I'm not about to walk all the way back just to scratch off some skin cells." Link said, shaking his head.

"You act like that would be hard. The starship is fixed now! The only hard part would be to fly back to the base and pick up a sample." Mario said.

"There's no reason for any of that. I picked up a sample before we left." Samus said, showing off a sample of Kraid's DNA.

"Grand! So let's get to scannin'!" Link said as they made their way to the ship's scanner.

_Meanwhile at Ganondorf's Castle...__  
_  
Ganondorf and Bowser were simply chilling on the roof of the castle... ...bored out of their minds.

"I'm _so_ fuckin' tired of waitin'..." Ganondorf sighed. "I expected this to be a two, maybe three day deal. It's been over a week, now! Where the fuck are these guys?!"

Bowser let a trail of drool slide down his chin as a response.

"I'm _so_ fuckin' tired of you actin' like you're brain-dead..." Ganondorf shook his head. "If you're tryin' to get me to say 'sorry' for what I did earlier, it ain't happenin'. Especially if that's the way you're gonna act. I don't apologize to retards."

From what seemed to be out of nowhere, Bowser whipped out a pen and paper and began scribbling something. Afterward, he very pitifully threw it at Ganondorf. Barely legible, Ganondorf struggled to make out what it said.

_But it's your fault I'm like this._

"Wow..." Ganondorf muttered. "First off, even if you were retarded, it wouldn't be my fault. It would be the ReDeads's because they ate yo' brain, which we both know is fuckin' false. The second they tried to get at you, you wrecked their shit. They couldn't touch you and you can't deny it. I saw the whole thing."

"You still broke your word. You said you wouldn't lash out, but you still did." Bowser finally said, breaking his silence.

"I guess I lied, then. I'm a villain, remember? Get over it, B-Bitch." Ganondorf concluded.

"Screw you, too, _Gay_-nondorf." Bowser replied, flipping him the bird.

Ten minutes of bored silence followed after that, only broken by Ganondorf's frustrated grunt.

"That's it! I'm done wit' this shit!" He stated and started heading straight toward the secret room, with Bowser following behind.

"Going somewhere?" Bowser questioned.

"Anywhere but here." Ganondorf answered. "I'ma jus' let the teleporter pick a place at random. Wherever I end up, I'm gonna fuck up anythin' and everythin' I see."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll join you." Bowser said.

Ganondorf smacked a button and opened a portal in the wall. Without hesitation, he and Bowser jumped through. They arrived in a vast, underground cave. The first thing they noticed was the sudden wave of heat that smacked them in the face. There was lava everywhere, except for the plot of land they were standing on, which seemed to be floating high above the liquid magma.

"The Brinstar Depths... If the lava didn't remind me of home, I'd hate this place." Bowser said.

"Fuckin' teleporter... I thought I made sure it couldn't pick this damn place..." Ganondorf said.

"Well, you obviously thought wrong. Let's just go back and..." Bowser trailed off as he heard voices other than his own and Ganondorf's. "You hear that?"

"Looks like this wasn't as bad a pick as I thought." Ganondorf said with a devious smirk. "Let's see who's gonna get murked first."

They neared the edge of the stage, expecting there to be more than what they saw around them. Surprisingly, the only thing they saw when they peeked over was a straight-fall down into red-hot death.

"What the... This is just like the stage from the Smash tournament!" Bowser exclaimed, but quietly, still not wanting to be heard by whomever else might be there. "I thought we were in a different part of the depths!"

"Then where the hell are those voices comin' from?" Ganondorf wondered. "It sounds like they're right over the edge, but I see nothin'!"

Ganondorf and Bowser carefully leaned an ear over the edge of the stage, hoping they could figure out where the invisible words were coming from.

"...everything's going according to plan! It will only be a matter of time before we set up camp on this planet to begin phase one of the Zeta Project." One of the voices said.

"I knew Samus wouldn't be able to pass up that false bounty offer, thanks to my elaborate preparations, of course. Otherwise, Samus would've seen right through it." The other voice said.

"Samus...? I remember that broad. A walkin' tank as cold as ice. I still beat that ass into submission, though." Ganondorf remembered with a satisfied smirk.

"That was only one element of our grand scheme." The voice continued. "Our combined intellect is what set it in motion. Sending those modified Flying Pirates to intercept Samus's path was an excellent touch, I must say. I was actually considering asking Ridley to take care of her, but that would've been excessive. We wouldn't have been able to raid her ship and learn a little more about Chozo technology."

"I especially loved sending Tentacle-Kraid in to rile her up." The other voice said with a tone of contentment. "It's a shame that it had to be sacrificed, but it's for a greater cause."

"The cause of leading Samus straight to yet _another _clone of Kraid. Unfortunately for her, when she realizes what she's been chasing, it'll be too late. The very technology her life depends on, with some assistance from the materials we let her find in our base, will be responsible for taking her on a one-way trip to where the next clone resides: this galaxy's hottest star!"

Bowser let out a soft, surprised whistle upon hearing that plan. "That's pretty harsh. Not even a face-to-face confrontation."

"I'm sayin'." Ganondorf agreed. "If I was ever gonna do some shit like that to my enemies, I'd be throwin' them into the sun myself."

"Well, I guess we won't see Samus in the next tournament. Sucks to be her..." Bowser said, being far from sincere. "We can beat down whoever's talking on her behalf, though. That could be our good deed for the day."

"I was gonna wreck shit, regardless." Ganondorf admitted, cracking his knuckles.

His knuckles cracked loudly, causing the voices to pause in the middle of their ramblings and listen closely.

"Did you hear that?"

"Definitely. We should investigate."

Ganondorf and Bowser heard footsteps nearing them as they assumed a defensive stance. Suddenly, an invisible laughter was heard.

"Two low-level threats. There's nothing to worry about."

"Show yo'self!" Ganondorf demanded.

Two bodies faded into view, gradually appearing like shadows. Two lightly-armed, charcoal-black space creatures glared at Bowser and Ganondorf with flaming eyes. They each had one wrist-laser on the left arm and a menacing arm-blade on the right. Bowser and Ganondorf glanced at each other, but didn't look threatened one bit.

"You two have no business here. Normally, we'd destroy foolish trespassers, but I'm feeling generous." One of the new adversaries admitted. "Leave now, and we will let you escape with only two severed limbs."

"You know, I'm in the giving-mood, too." Bowser also admitted, with a nod. "We're gonna stay, and give you an ass-kicking you'll never forget."

The two hostile space creatures laughed a non-threatened and mocking laughter.

"You must not know who we are, which amuses me greatly. Even the most brainless organisms this galaxy has to offer have a healthy fear of us! We are part of the elite. We are known as Space Pirates!" One of the pirates exclaimed.

"We, in particular, are Shadow Pirates. Soon, we and our Pirate brethren will be the rulers of this galaxy. And as soon as that meddling Samus is gone forever, we'll set our sights on universal domination!" The other pirate exulted.

"I could care less about who y'all are. We came here to fight. And I ain't leavin' until someone has felt my boot in their ass!" Ganondorf warned.

"Oh, it's a fight you want? Then a fight you shall receive!" One of the pirates said, promptly snapping his fingers at the end of his sentence.

Almost as if out of nowhere, two parasitic, jellyfish-like creatures appeared. They were a transparent blue, flying around in unpredictable patterns while were screeching loudly; loud enough to cause profuse bleeding of the ears. These creatures were the infamous metroids.

"A fight for your lives!" The same pirate said, laughing at his own twisted joke.

"Ugh, what are they?!" Bowser shouted, disgusted.

No one was able to answer his question; one of the metroids dove at Ganondorf's head. He saw it at the last minute, quickly diving out of the way. The metroid made a sudden u-turn and dove at Bowser. He tried to dodge it, but he was too big and slow to avoid the agile metroid. It latched onto his back, sucking away at his life energy.

"GET IT OFF ME!!!" Bowser shouted and did a stop-drop-and-roll maneuver to try to get the metroid off. His attempts were in vain as it stayed firmly stationed onto his back and sucked his life away.

While Bowser was struggling with his metroid, Ganondorf was busy trying to avoid the other one. He was ducking and weaving as it continually tried to dive at his face.

Simultaneously trying to keep his face free of all metroid-molestation, Ganondorf tried attacking the Shadow Pirates. He charged at one of them with a Gerudo Dragon, but was barely within a fist's distance of him before he cloaked himself from all vision.

"We've studied all types of fighting styles and patterns. Your method of combat is hopelessly flawed. As long as we're cloaked, there's nothing you can do!" A cloaked voice taunted.

Ganondorf made plans to attack the other pirate, but quickly learned he had followed suit, disappearing in a cloak of invisibility. Ganondorf was left with nothing to do but dodge the persistent metroid, though by watching his skillful evasive maneuvers, that didn't seem too difficult for him.

"It looks like he's not even trying. Let's see if we can provide him with more of a challenge." The cloaked pirate suggested, jumping into the fray while wildly swinging his arm-blade. His partner immediately joined in, violently throwing an unpredictable arm around.

Ganondorf was surprisingly successful in avoiding the pirates' sudden assault, using the bright trails left behind the vicious swings of their arm-blades to predict where the Shadow Pirates were and when they'd attack. Ganondorf couldn't keep this up, though, when the two pirates suddenly joined hands and spun with their blades fully stretched out. This stopped Ganondorf's jukes long enough for the metroid to capitalize as it threw itself at him in a hard ram. Getting hammered in the head, Ganondorf collapsed to the ground, giving the invisible pirates the freedom to shower him in a debilitating rain of plasma. A completely exhausted Ganondorf could do nothing when the metroid finally achieved its purpose; latching onto his face and sucking away at his life sustenance.

"That was far too easy." One of the cloaked pirates said, watching at Ganondorf writhe and struggle, trying to get the metroid off his face.

"I truly am feeling generous. I should let the metroid slowly whittle your life's energy away, letting you feel every agonizing moment..." The other Shadow Pirate said, walking towards Ganondorf, who was lying unconscious and face-down. "...but you deserve some type of reward for evading out attacks for so long. I'll personally end your suffering. And before you ask, there's no need to thank me. I'm just too kind for my own good." He admitted, uncloaking himself and charging up his wrist-laser for an instant-kill.

Bowser had slipped into unconsciousness after having the Metroid on his back for so long, but momentarily opened his eyes, catching a glimpse of one of the Shadow Pirates preparing to blow Ganondorf's head off. A fire burned in his eyes as he refused to let his partner in crime go out in such an unfavorable way. Unknown to Bowser was that the fire in his eyes had formed into a familiar symbol... the symbol of Smash: the Smash Emblem. With the mysterious power of the Smash Emblem flowing through him, Bowser sprung up from his helpless position and threw a claw through the unsuspecting Pirate's spine and viciously ripped out whatever he could.

Everything went cold for the Shadow Pirate. With what little life he had left, the pirate turned around, wearing a painfully stunned look on its face. He released whatever charge of energy he was about to use on the helpless Ganondorf and turned it on Bowser, but made it all too obvious as Bowser quickly spun around, letting the overpowered shot obliterate the metroid still attached to his back. As a sign of gratitude, Bowser dealt the spineless pirate a detrimental backhand, not only sending him off the battlefield and spiraling into the boiling magma below, but unexpectedly crashing into his cloaked partner and knocking him out of invisibility, as well as rendering the cloaking device useless.

Still with a raging inferno provided by the Smash Emblem in his eyes, Bowser menacingly stomped toward a trembling Shadow Pirate. He held up his wrist laser in an attempt to defend himself, threatening to shoot. Bowser was far from intimidated as he grabbed the laser and shattered it, along with the Pirate's wrist, with his bare hands. The Space Pirate let out a sharp cry of agony as Bowser continued to crush what he had in his hands.

"Please... please... let me go..." The Shadow Pirate cried, begging for mercy.

Bowser glared into the once-boastful, but now-fearful, Shadow Pirate's eyes. Without saying a word, Bowser breathed in deep and spewed a stream of flames all over the helpless pirate. He let out a blood-curdling bellow of physical anguish as he was literally burned to death. Soon, those bellows faded to weak screams, and then those screams died down until there was no other sound than the echoes of the boiling lava. Deciding his work was done, Bowser simply tossed his lifeless opponent over the edge of the stage and let out a powerful roar.

"GET THIS SHIT THE FUCK OFF MY FACE!!!" Ganondorf suddenly shouted with muffled screams as he was still struggling with the metroid on his face.

Hearing that voice suddenly extinguished the fire in Bowser's eyes. He felt slighty disoriented and confused; he knew he was just attacked by a Metroid and two Shadow Pirates, but none of them seemed to be present at the current moment.

"DAMNIT, LISTEN TO ME!!" Ganondorf shouted to anyone that could be listening.

Bowser turned to his struggling partner and found himself slightly surprised.

"Wow... What happened to you?" Bowser wondered.

"BOWSER!!!" Ganondorf screamed, angrily.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up. I'll help you out." Bowser responded and blew fire at the metroid. The metroid was completely unaffected, but the parts of Ganondorf's head that could be seen were thoroughly singed. "Okay... that didn't work... Let's try something else." Bowser said and jumped up into the air for his patented ground-stomping move, labeled the Bowser Bomb.

"Oh hell no." The Metroid said, detaching itself from Ganondorf's face and disappearing as suddenly as it appeared.

Inevitably, Bowser came crashing down to Ganondorf's face, building up an exuberant force.

"Fuck..." Ganondorf muttered just before his face was intrusively introduced to Bowser's backside.

With a powerful crash, Bowser landed back on the ground. As soon as he touched down, he realized something wasn't right.

"...there's something _incredibly _wrong..." Bowser muttered, fearing that he didn't land on the Metroid.

Bowser rose to his two feet and looked behind him. What he found was Ganondorf's head, flattened like a pancake. But miraculously and inexplicably... he was alright.

"Whoa... I'm _really _sorry about that..." Bowser apologized.

"Bowser..." Ganondorf began, slowly rising to his feet as his head regained its original form. "I really... _really_...should obliterate you for makin' one of the top five things I never wanted in my face... _in my fuckin' face_." He clenched an angry, glowing fist. "But... you _did _get that thing off me. And those Bitch Pirates are gone, probably 'cause of you. So, insteada beatin' you to death, then beatin' you back to life so I canbeat you to death again, I'ma jus' let the whole shit slide. None of this ever happened."

"You're welcome, you ungrateful bastard..." Bowser muttered.

Suddenly, the entire arena started to rumble. The lava in the background began to violently bubble and rise. The lava rose so high that the land serving as a battlefield fell horizontally and floated on top of it. A thunderous roar could be heard underneath the magma.

"Son-of-a-bitch... I just wanna get outta here..." Bowser sighed, aggravated. 

"Seems like someone's not havin' that." Ganondorf said, preparing for the worst.

Suddenly, a gargantuan figure exploded from the lava. A gargantuan, green-skinned creature with a white belly, sharp spikes in its navel, ravenous teeth, and three red eyes.

"**WHO DARES DISTURB ME IN MY LAIR?!**" The enormous figure boomed. His voice was so powerful, the entire environment rumbled powerfully, causing stalactites from the ceiling to fall into the lava.

"Who wants to know?" Ganondorf replied, fearlessly.

"**I HEAR NO FEAR IN YOUR VOICE. ARE YOU THAT CONFIDENT IN YOUR SKILLS? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU ARE UP AGAINST?! I AM KRAID! I AM ONE OF THE TOP GENERALS UNDER THE COMMAND OF MOTHER BRAIN! I WILL MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND TRUE FEAR!**" Kraid roared as he slashed at Ganondorf and Bowser.

Both of them were surprised by the attack and got hit, full force. They were amazed by how much it hurt.

"Shit...! That was ridiculous!" Ganondorf exclaimed, struggling to get up.

"**MY INITIAL ATTACK ALREADY HAS YOU FLOORED! YOU HAVE NO CHANCE AT VICTORY!**" Kraid shouted and slashed again.

Both of them saw the attack coming this time, immediately jumping out of the way. Bowser jumped toward Kraid's stomach as high as he could. He could only reach just below his chest, where his diaphragm would be, but that'd be enough if his plan worked. Bowser attacked that spot with an aerial claw, slashing as hard as he could. Kraid didn't even blink in response. Instead, he reacted by shooting Bowser with the spikes in his navel, leaving him pinned to the ground and helpless.

Not letting Bowser's quick defeat faze him, Ganondorf short-hopped to reach the middle of Kraid's stomach and delivered a heavy fist. The move ended up working against him as he literally crushed his hand against Kraid's amazingly hard skin. Kraid wasted no time in putting Ganondorf down, flooring him with a huge fist.

"**DO YOU SEE IT NOW?! DO YOU SEE WHY I AM THE RULER OF BRINSTAR?! NO ONE CAN MATCH MY BRUTE STRENGTH! I AM INVINCIBLE!**" Kraid screamed and hoisted Bowser and Ganondorf into the air.

"Ugh... the last time I got beaten this bad was when I tried that Cruel Melee gauntlet..." Bowser moaned.

"This ain't nothin'! I'm a Gerudo king! No, fuck that! I'm the king of _EVIL_!! It don't matter that I got a broken fist! You still have lefty to worry about, you bitch! The only way you can stop keep me down is if you fuckin' EAT ME!!" Ganondorf mindlessly shouted, letting his ego cloud his logic in a billowing fog of nonsense.

_Thirty seconds later..._

"It don't get much worse than this, Bowser. I ain't even that mad about gettin' eaten. What pisses me off the most is bein' digested. You know how all digestive cycles end, right?" Ganondorf said with a scowl. "Godamnit..."

He and Bowser were now sitting in the light-barren black pit that was Kraid's stomach.

"I'm just about as pissed as you are, but being mad won't get us out any faster. The only thing to do now is to look to the bright side. There's a bright side to every grim situation." Bowser explained.

"...fuck are you talkin' about? There's no bright side to this! I can't even see my damn hand in front of me! What the hell is the bright side to this?" Ganondorf asked, aggravated.

"I found a quarter." Bowser said, holding it up as if Ganondorf could see it.

"..." Ganondorf was silenced by Bowser's antics.

"Lighten up, Ganondorf. Heh, 'lighten up'..." Bowser smiled at the simple irony. His smile slowly faded as Ganondorf continued his silence. "Ganondorf?" Bowser repeated and got closer to where he thought Ganondorf was.

Little did he know that Ganondorf was silently charging up his Warlock Punch...

"SURPRISE, MOTHA-FUCKA!!!" Ganondorf screamed as he connected with a left-handed Warlock Punch, sending Bowser pinballing around Kraid's stomach. Bowser later landed in a deep pool of stomach acid and Ganondorf left him to drown in it. "Fuckin' idiot..." He said as he sat down in a puddle on stomach bile, wondering about the ways to escape this prison other than the obvious exit.


	9. Long Time, No See: Part 2

**Act 7****: _Long Time No See_** (Part 2)

_Rejoining Samus and company...__  
_  
After scanning the severed tentacle and pinpointing the coordinates, they headed straight toward where their nemesis, Kraid, was. Little did they know that they were heading straight into impending doom...

Ever since they left Zebes, Samus kept to herself, remaining solely in the cockpit of her ship. Mario and Link only watched her through a window in the cockpit's door, very concerned about her current state of mind, as she literally stared out into space.

"She looks so depressed... What happened back on Zebes has to be what's got her down like this." Mario asked.

"It's gotta be. Think about it: if you almost got ...molested... by somethin' like Kraid, you'd be depressed too, right?" Link suggested.

"Actually, I wouldn't be depressed; I'd be more upset than you could possibly imagine. You would need the entire Mushroom Kingdom to hold me back." Mario asserted. "You know... maybe she's not depressed. Maybe she's just lost in her thoughts. You know how Samus gets when she's mad. I'm surprised she didn't just kill us back there on Zebes. We got off lucky."

"Yeah, for real." Link agreed. "There's probably all types of violent thoughts going through her mind right now. Who knows what she'll do to Kraid when we find him. But he really has it comin', so I'm not worried about him." Link said. "But then again, even if Samus does finish him, he can always come back. Remember what she said? She could be fightin' him for the rest of her life. That's just... fucked up. There's no nice way to put that."

"Yeah... Having to fight something like that forever... And not only that, but she always seems to be busy... She's always on a mission... ...always on call... There's never a moment of rest for her." Mario said.

"I know Samus is made of some serious stuff, but I don't care who you are: that's _gotta _get to you at some point." Link shook his head, wishing there was something he could do to help Samus if their speculations were correct.

Mario turned to Link. "Link, I don't think there's any better time to talk to Samus than now. You know what do to."

With a nod, Link tapped the button on the side of the door. The door lifted with an audible mechanic winding. Samus didn't turn around, though. Link decided to slowly approach her, waiting on her to notice him. She still stayed situated right in front of window, probably not even blinking. Realizing he'd have to make things happen, Link spoke up.

"Hey, baby." Link said, slickly.

Samus quickly turned, slightly startled. She gave a meek smile after realizing it was only Link, but remained silent. Link just stood next to her, gazing into space.

"This is kinda crazy. I never thought I'd get to see the stars like this." Link said, utterly mystified by what he could see. "Ever since I was a kid, I loved to check them out. It's gotta be so great to be able to check the stars like this all the time." He turned to Samus, hoping she was looking back at him.

"Yeah..." Samus simply replied, barely paying attention.

Link figured this was the case, no doubt disappointed, but he continued talking anyway, hoping his words would get through to her, eventually.

"...but I guess it gets played out after a while. After you've seen everything space has to offer, you probably get immune to the splendor." Link speculated.

Samus caught the last thing Link said and immediately shook her head. "No, that's not it at all. With every trip I take through space, there is always something to appreciate: be it a nova burst from afar, a star emanating a pulsar, or even the occasional black hole. No matter what my mission may be, I always take time to be astonished by what space has to offer. It serves as a constant reminder to never take anything for granted. Not just my 'tours' through space, but everything! Even my life..."

Link smiled as he nodded. "I feel you." He said, now with his arm around Samus's waist. Unlike the last time Link tried this, Samus accepted the gesture.

They simply stood like that for a while, in awe of the stars that surrounded them. Samus then turned to Link, gazing at his face. She had to admit, Link was actually pretty handsome. She then turned away, slightly embarrassed that she was looking at him like that. It wasn't like her to get all goo-goo eyed because of a man.

"I... uh... I never got a chance to thank you... for saving me back in Zebes. Mario, too. And I'm sorry for getting so upset, earlier." Samus said.

"Nah, you don't have to worry about that. Me and Mario were definitely soundin' kinda arrogant." Link admitted, turning to Samus. "I wanted to believe that I really did take down Kraid that easily, but somethin' definitely seemed off."

"Even so, you two were very heroic about it. I'm sure neither of you have ever faced anything like that. I'm so grateful for your courage." Samus said, looking at Link. "Who knows what would've happened to me if you weren't there..."

"Hey, I'm a hero, baby! It's my job to save people and everything. Mario knows the deal, too. Plus, I had no choice but to save you. There's no way I'd let anything happen to you." Link said. They gazed into each other's eyes. "Samus... I dunno if you heard anythin' I said the night I snuck into your room..."

"Snuck into my room? You did a great job doing so if waking me up was part of the plan." Samus giggled.

"Yeah, whatever..." Link said, rolling his eyes, laughing a bit. "...I don't know if you still feel the same way you did when we first met each other on Zebes, but please gimme a chance to show you how much I care for you." Link said, holding Samus.

"How much do you care?" Samus asked, with her arms around Link's neck.

"I was about to show you that night..." Link replied, closing in for a heart-felt kiss. Samus saw it coming and started getting close, as well.

Mario watched them through the window and smiled at the developing relationship. He knew Link would be able to make Samus feel better. He didn't smile for long, though, as he caught a glimpse of something horrible. HORRIBLE. He nearly broke the door down trying to get into the cockpit. Startled, Link and Samus turned to a very frightened Mario, his face pale with fear.

"Mario..." Link sighed with a deep-rooted disappointment. "You may've very-well destroyed somethin' beautiful."

"Better me than that." Mario replied, hastily pointing toward the window, out into space.

At first, all they saw was the sun, burning vibrantly and brightly with the occasional flare trail shooting up from the surface. But as they gazed, the sun appeared to be getting larger and larger, almost like they were flying closer to it. Then it hit them... They _were _flying closer and closer to it! They were on collision course with the sun!

"HOLY SHIT!! What the hell are we doin' here?!" Link shouted, releasing his hold on Samus and getting closer to the windshield, bewildered and angry. "There's no possible way Kraid could be livin' there! Knowledge of the universe my ass! What's the deal with this ship?!"

"I don't understand! The scans pointed us in this direction! This ship is flawless! There has to be a logical reason!" Samus shouted back, frantically checking the navigational systems for errors.

"No..." Mario gasped as he pointed to the east side of the sun. "There's the reason..."

"Computer! Pin-point the general area Mario is pointing at and zoom in. Bring it up on the main screen." Samus commanded. The main screen was scrambled with static at first, but then the image was as clear as day. "Phenomenal..." Samus muttered in awe.

What she saw was Kraid on the sun's surface. ...belly-dancing. As he danced, fire consumed his massive body.

"I don't _believe_ this..." Link simply said as they all watched Kraid dance in the blazing flames. He suddenly remembered the ship was still heading toward the sun. "Samus! That has to be a clone! We gotta turn this ship around! No one here is genetically enhanced to take the heat like that!" Link said as he pointed at Kraid, who switched his dance-mode to break. He pulled a wicked 720-headspin, finishing it off with a stalling head-stand.

Without hesitation, Samus bought up the main command screen for her starship. After a combination of keystroke commands...

"_UNABLE TO COMPLY._"

Mario and Link felt their stomachs turn at the sound of the computer's statement. Before they panicked, though, they figured Samus might've just made a mistake. The situation was dire enough to even have Samus stressed to the point where she could get a little careless, they hoped.

After another set of commands...

"_UNABLE TO COMPLY._"

"Why isn't it working?!" Samus pounded the dashboard angrily. "Computer! Disengage autopilot!"

"_UNABLE TO DISENGAGE FOR UNKNOWN REASONS._"

"What the hell?!" Link screamed at the computer.

"It must be the materials we found in the base. We should've known better than to trust materials we found in a Space Pirate base..." Samus realized, ashamed of their carelessness.

"There has to be another way to override the autopilot!" Mario said.

"The only way autopilot can be overridden without fail is if we're attacked; the ship will exit autopilot mode and await the pilot's commands. But by the time clone-Kraid attacks are able to hit us, it will be too late..." Samus said, hopelessly.

"But what if..." Mario began, but just stopped. He really saw no way out this time. "So... this is... it... This is really how it ends... I... can't even think of anything to say." He muttered hopelessly. He didn't want to accept it, but with Death staring him dead in the face, it was hard for him to ignore.

"No need to say anything yet!" A voice was picked up on the spaceship's intercom, metaphorically spearing Death out of the picture.

"Where'd that come from?" Link asked, aimlessly searching the cockpit to find out where the voice came from.

"You'll find out soon enough. Just brace yourselves for impact." The voice on the intercom warned.

The spaceship suddenly lurched violently as its alert lights and sirens went off.

_"WARNING! SHIP IS UNDER ATTACK. EXITING AUTOPILOT. WAITING FOR FURTHER ORDERS..._"

"SAMUS!! GRAB THOSE CONTROLS!!" Link screamed.

Samus jetted toward the controls and fought to escape the gravitational pull of the sun. Clone-Kraid started dancing furiously as if he was in an orgy while throwing fireballs at Samus's starship. This was all while he was doing the nastiest bump-and-grind pelvic thrusts the galaxy had ever seen...

"Alright... That's just sick." Mario spat out, completely repulsed by the clone's motions.

"INCOMING!! DODGE THOSE!!!" Link screamed again.

"Easy there! I got you covered." The voice on the intercom assured. Shortly after that was said, electric-blue lasers could be seen destroying the threatening balls of flames.

"Calm down, Link! We're reaching escape velocity." Samus announced.

She jerked the ship around and flipped on the boosters. They successfully exited the sun's gravitational pull and rocketed away. As they jetted away, Kraid could be seen throwing his hands up in the air and waving them like he just didn't care. Both hands were clenched tight into a fist, except he held up one signature finger on each fist.

"Whew... it seems like were safe. Now that everything is all clear, I have two questions." Mario started. "First: who's on the radio? And why didn't you stop us before?!" Mario asked, screaming the second question into the intercom.

"Jeez, I thought I'd get at least a 'thank you'. Falco here. I guess you can say I was in the neighborhood." He said.

"I knew that voice sounded familiar..." Mario said.

"I caught you guys on my radar after you passed Bilium. I started tailing you 'cause it looked like you were heading into the sun. I was thinking 'no one could be that reckless!' Good thing I followed you, huh?" Falco said.

"Definitely." Link agreed. "So where to now?"

"I have no idea. The scanner showed only two locations: the one on the sun and the one we killed on Zebes. Other than that, there's nowhere left to go." Mario answered.

"Computer! Scan for possible locations where Kraid might be." Samus commanded.

"What's the point? We already know the locations it'll give us." Mario muttered.

"Watch what I do before you jump to conclusions." Samus told Mario.

The computer displayed the locations. Just as Mario said, the same two locations were displayed.

"What'd I tell you?" Mario said.

"And what did I just say to you?" Samus snapped at Mario. "Computer! Scan planet Zebes."

_"SCAN COMPLETE. TWO MATCHING DNA SAMPLES LOCATED ON ZEBES." __  
_  
"What? It looked like there was only one matching sample!" Link exclaimed.

"I originally met the real Kraid on Zebes. He's pretty big, and I doubt he'd leave the planet. What's more: he controls the entire Brinstar area on Zebes. He must be in the Brinstar Depths." Samus explained.

"Alright then, let's get goin'. I got a bone to pick with Kraid, now. _No one_ tries to murk me and my peeps and gets away with it. You comin', Falco?" Link asked.

"I guess someone's gotta make sure you stay out of trouble." Falco replied.

"Then back to Zebes we go!" Mario announced as they all jetted toward Zebes.

_About thirty minutes after traveling at blinding speeds..._

"We're about to enter the planet's atmosphere, so prepare for landing. It's won't be as rough as it was when this ship had half its brakes, but--" Samus began.

"SAMUS, MY RADAR JUST WENT WILD!! WE HAVE COMPANY!!" Falco urgently interrupted.

"That's just incredible..." Mario said, staring out the window.

What he saw was, in fact, incredible: legions of modified Flying Pirates who seemed to appear out of nowhere. In reality, they just couldn't be seen because their armor camouflaged with the orangey color of the planet in the background. Now that they could be seen, there had to be over two hundred of them. Every single one of them had the intention of using any means necessary to keep Samus from returning to Zebes alive.

"Falco... Are you prepared?" Samus calmly asked over the intercom.

"You already know the answer." Falco said, and boosted head-first into the endless sea of Pirates. Samus boosted after and began firing at the Pirates. All Mario and Link could do was sit back and watch.

Falco sent off the first big hit by firing a nova-bomb into a charging group of Pirates. At least twenty were disintegrated immediately. The others that weren't destroyed by the blast grouped together and tried a mass suicide dive at Falco's Arwing. He skillfully barrel-rolled and made a sharp dive to evade the oncoming kamikaze crew. Samus finished the rest by sending them a bomb of her own: a gravi-bomb which crushed them into nothingness.

Another group of Pirates spread apart and surrounded Samus and Falco, opening fire. The Pirates kept the shots coming, leaving Samus and Falco to simply dodge. It seemed like there was nowhere to go; every turn Samus and Falco made, the Pirates kept a tight formation around them and continued firing.

"I have to admit: they have excellent form. They must've been practicing that for days without sleep." Samus commended.

"You guys can't keep this up forever! Find an opening and shoot!" Mario ordered as if it was the easiest thing to do.

"…because it's just that simple, right?!" Falco sarcastically replied.

He immediately sent a few shots from his dual hyper lasers at a wall of Pirates. They were destroyed on impact. Samus pushed a button on the control panel and a compartment opened up on her right side.

"What's that do?" Link asked.

"One of my favorite features of the ship." Samus said with a smile.

She then stuck her arm cannon into the compartment. Charging could be heard below the ship. Then, a huge chunk of ice was blasted at the wall of pirates, freezing over fifty of them solid, and scattering them into the deepest regions of space.

"Whoa! Nice move, Samus!" Falco complimented.

"I can combine my arm cannon with the ship's weapon system. In essence, the ship gets my arm cannon and I can control it as if I were firing, normally. The only drawback: I can't maneuver the ship while I'm doing this." Samus explained.

"With a feature like that, why the hell would you need to avoid anythin'?!" Link shouted excitedly.

A hard explosion rocked the ship, almost knocking the trio off their feet.

"That's why!" Mario shouted as he held on to the side of the ship to keep from falling.

"_DAMAGE ASSESSED: SHIELDS DOWN TWENTY PERCENT. I SUGGEST YOU DO A BETTER JOB EVADING THE ENEMY BEFORE YOU GET US ALL KILLED!_"

The three inside Samus's ship just looked at each other with a look of confusion.

"Computer?" Samus was perplexed by the computer's sudden outburst.

"_EXCUSE ME... AWAITING PILOT'S INSTRUCTION._"

"Just leave everything to me." Samus replied.

"Samus! I thought you just cleared a whole area of Pirates!" Falco asked.

"I did!" Samus shot back.

"This looks bad..." Mario said as he looked outside.

The Pirates that were destroyed were replaced by even more Flying Pirates. Not only that, they were closing in on Falco and Samus's ships, trapping them in a sphere of missiles and laser fire. Once again, they were forced into strictly avoiding damage.

"This is ridiculous! There's no way we'll get out of this if we don't think of something!" Falco shouted.

"Then think of somethin'!" Link shouted back.

"You wanna try fighting these guys? Stop shouting out orders like it's EASY!!" Falco shouted back even louder.

With that last word, Falco shot another nova bomb into the wall of Pirates. The hit connected and opened a hole in the "wall". He started boosting toward the opening to try and make an escape, but as soon as it was opened, more Pirates came to fill in the hole and continued the endless stream of enemy fire.

"Damnit! Can it get any worse?" Falco shouted angrily.

"Haven't you heard of Murphy's Law? Anything that can go wrong _will_ go wrong. Look at what they're doing." Samus replied.

Single Pirates broke from the sphere wall and flew full speed toward Samus and Falco. Suddenly, they had suicide-diving pirates to worry about, in addition to the surplus of enemy fire.

"_ASSESSING DAMAGE. SHEILD EFFICIENCY: 60... NO, 50... WAIT, 40... NO... YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS POINTLESS. UNLESS A MIRACLE HAPPENS, WE'RE FINISHED!_"

"Computer! Since when have you been so outspoken? Just stay quiet! We _will_ make it." Samus reassured everyone. Things were looking incredibly bleak, though. She said that mainly to reassure _herself_ that everything would be alright.

"Argh! The shields are getting eaten alive! My Arwing's being protected by the paint now! I don't know how much more I can take!" Falco shouted to Samus.

Thinking of nothing else he could do, Link dropped down to his knees and started praying.

"Din, Farore, Nayru... One of you has gotta to be listenin' right now. I don't care how you do it, but please save us from this hell we've flown into! Please! Is it because I stole the Ocarina of Time from myself? Somethin' I've done to myself in the past? Whatever it is, I'm sorry! All of us don't deserve to be punished for somethin' only I've done! If you save us, I promise I'll return it to myself! PLEASE help us, oh wise and infallible gods! Surely you won't let the Hero of Time meet his untimely end! Heh, un-_time_-ly. I threw in a little joke for y'all." Link winked as he prayed.

"Wow, Link..." Mario muttered, astounded by what he just heard. "I didn't think there was such a thing as a bad prayer, but... wow... I don't think _any _god would answer that."

Suddenly, there was a series of gigantic explosions. Half the Flying Pirate fleet was annihilated upon impact. The rest of the fleet was simply stunned.

"Did somebody call for a miracle?" A high-pitched, croaky voice broadcasted over the intercom.

"HA!! No god would answer, right Mario?!" Link ecstatically said. "I can't believe they fell for it! I'd literally kill myself before I give back my Ocarina."

"You're an idiot..." Mario sighed, holding his face and shaking his head. "And you were actually about to kiss this fool, Samus?" He asked turning to Samus. She simply shrugged.

"Peppy! Slippy! Perfect timing; and it only took you three hours this time. Nice work with those nova bombs." Falco replied.

"You were timing them?" Mario asked.

"Well, before I found you guys, we were playing Intergalactic Hide and Seek." Falco started to explain.

"Inter...galactic... Hide... and Seek..." Mario repeated slowly in complete disbelief that such a renowned team was playing such childish games.

"Yeah, boy! Falco is da man at 'dis, so afta a hot minute of playin' 'dis hit, he started timin' me and Slip-a-slip to see how long it takes to spot him up." Peppy added with the worst possible slang accent imaginable.

"Peppy, what did we tell you that slang?" Slippy asked, irritated.

"I'm sorry... It's the only thing that keeps me feeling young other than flying in my good ol' Arwing." Peppy replied, normally.

"Hide and Seek... Isn't that a little childish? You're Star Fox! Shouldn't you be saving the Lylat system from threatening doom and thwarting the evil Andross's plans of galactic conquest?!" Samus shouted.

"Well, Fox defeated Andross a while back and we haven't had a job to do since then. Mercenaries can't work if no one calls for us, you know." Falco explained.

"Yeah yo'. Plus Foxy-boy keeps goin' ghost on us, so we jus' chill and gets down on some Hide and Seek." Peppy added with his horrible slang.

"Damnit, Peppy! We're not gonna tell you again!" Falco warned.

"You guys need to lighten up! Let an old-timer have his fun!" Peppy replied.

"No offense, Peppy... but your linguistics are just terrible. Ganondorf would be havin' seizures right about now if he could hear you. If you can't speak the language, then please shut the hell up." Link requested.

"Fine, I get it..." Peppy responded, miserably.

"Hey, I know it's been a while since we've seen each other, but now's not the time to be playing catch-up. We're still facing life-and-death situations here." Mario warned as he watched the Flying Pirates scramble.

"They look pretty frantic. I think they're retreating." Samus suggested.

The Flying Pirates were far from quitting, though. They were actually flying into each other, forming some type of messy conglomeration. Suddenly, extra body parts started spurting from the cluttered mass of pirates.

"Holy sh..." Falco came to a frightening realization. "They're not retreating! They're reforming!" He shouted.

Unfortunately, he was indeed correct. From the mass of Pirates emerged one enormous Flying Pirate!

"_UNBELIEVEABLE. YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN HERE, SAMUS. EVERYTHING IS IN MANUAL CONTROL. THIS IS NOT WHAT I WAS PROGRAMMED FOR._"

"This is _exactly _what you were programmed for, computer! Come back here before I reformat you!" Samus threatened.

"Forget the computer, Samus. If you need help, we're here." Link suggested.

"Yeah, we'll be more than happy to help you out. I'm actually pretty tired of sitting around and clutching my heart whenever something happens." Mario added.

"Alright, then. Mario, you can take control of the booster systems. Link: man the weapons cache. I'll control the navigation systems." Samus commanded.

"We ready to battle? Let's give 'em hell!" Falco shouted as he flew toward the Omega Flying Pirate. Slippy and Peppy followed and opened fire.

OFP (Omega Flying Pirate) was incredibly agile despite its large size. It barrel-rolled and deflected all incoming shots right back to their origins. It then followed up with rapid-fire shots from its oversized wrist lasers. Peppy and Slippy barely avoided the onslaught, but Falco and Samus were both hit.

"Urgh!" Falco grunted as he fought to keep his craft in control. "We're still reeling from earlier. Samus, the Arwing is more agile than your spaceship. I'll go in with Peppy and Slippy, but you stay back." Falco ordered.

"I won't argue with that." Mario agreed.

Samus usually wasn't one to take orders, but this wasn't the time to be rebellious.

"Reduce our speed, Mario. Link, hold your fire. We don't want it to turn its attention to us." She ordered.

"Peppy, Slippy! Delta formation! We need to hit it hard!" Falco commanded.

"Got'cha, Falco!" Slippy responded as he and Peppy flew side-by-side toward Falco.

The three members of Star Fox were now flying in a triangle formation toward OFP. He saw them coming and started speeding toward them. It was like they were playing a game of Chicken.

"Steady... steady..." Peppy said.

The team and the Pirate were now a few thousand kilometers away from each other, but at the speed they were charging each other with, that distance could be covered in a matter of seconds. Closer and closer they came to a crash collision until...

"WE GOT HIM!! UNLOAD ON THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH!!" Falco shouted.

With that said, all three Arwings emptied their entire supply of nova bombs on OFP at once, promptly breaking formation. There was a blinding explosion following the break. After the light cleared, a harmless Omega Flying Pirate could be seen floating lifelessly through space.

"YEEEE-HAAA!!" Peppy exclaimed. "We got him good!"

"Let's scrap what's left of it." Falco suggested, boosting along with the rest of the Star Fox team toward their downed adversary.

"Can it be? Is that all?" Samus said in disbelief.

"Looks like that's it. All that hype for nothin'..." Link muttered, almost sounding disappointed.

Samus began to check Omega Flying Pirate with her scan visor. All signs of life were gone.

"I guess that really was..." Samus's voice got caught in her throat when she saw OFP's jetpack suddenly sputter. It wasn't done, yet. "NO, IT'S STILL ALIVE!! FALL BACK, STAR FOX!!" Samus screamed at the Star Fox team over the intercom.

They barely heard the warning as OFP suddenly sprung up and jetted toward Falco, Slippy, and Peppy at hypersonic speeds. Falco was the only one to react fast enough, performing a u-turn to avoid the speeding Pirate. Peppy and Slippy were literally clotheslined, sent spiraling out of control.

"AAAAHHHH!!!" Slippy screamed, trying to regain control of the ship.

"Whoa! Did you see that? That attack took seventy-five percent of my shields! We need to finish this thing fast!" Peppy exclaimed.

"I think we weakened him with the Delta Formation. Look." Falco noticed, watching OFP stagger as it came to a stop from its high-speed attack.

"We need a super-powerful concussive blast to put that thing out of its misery. But I'm all out of bombs!" Slippy shouted.

"We all are! What do we do now?" Peppy shouted back.

"I can still fuse to my ship and fire a super missile at the Pirate." Samus offered. "I won't be able to avoid it if it tries to attack me, though. I need you three to distract it while I charge up the missile."

"I'm busted up beyond repair, but I think I can survive one more hit." Falco said.

"We're with you, Falco!" Peppy shouted.

"Let's try another Delta Formation and fake it out!" Slippy suggested.

"Go for it!" Falco agreed as he boosted toward OFP while Peppy and Slippy flew side-by-side below him.

OFP saw them and the game of Chicken commenced once again. When OFP was in close enough proximity, it decided to try and punch the team out of formation. This is exactly what the Star Fox team was hoping for.

"BREAK!!" Falco ordered, performing a wide somersault while Peppy and Slippy banked left and right, respectively.

OFP hit nothing but empty space as Falco ended up upside-down behind the Pirate and unloaded with his hyper lasers. Peppy and Slippy followed suite and opened fire with their lasers as well. OFP desperately pulled out all of its evasive maneuvers in an attempt to try and avoid the Star Fox team. As it was dipping and diving, it caught a glimpse of Samus's ship charging up for a super missile. OFP emptied its surprise arsenal of homing missiles on the Star Fox team and blasted toward Samus's stationary ship.

"Oh no, it's heading straight toward us! Falco, what the hell are you guys doing?!" Mario screamed over the intercom.

"It surprised us with homing missiles! We can't shake these things, so it's all up to you..." Falco glumly replied.

"I'll make that thing eat plasma!" Link said re-manning the weapon controls.

"NO!! I'll have to charge up again if you fire. I'm almost done... Just... sit back and try to relax!" Samus said, thinking of nothing else.

"I'm starin' Death in the face... almost smellin' his breath... and you want me to relax... You know what?" Link said nothing else as he literally lied down on the floor.

OFP was still speeding at Samus's ship with no intention of stopping.

"Are you done yet? I can see that thing's face now!" Mario warned.

"Five more seconds..." Samus calmly murmured.

"Five... four... three..." Mario began counting down as the Pirate looked like it picked up speed. "Two..."

"Here it comes..." Samus said and unloaded her super missile a second earlier than she anticipated.

"ONE!!!" Mario screamed as the Pirate was so close, its demented grin could be seen.

As soon as Mario said that, there was a spectacular explosion. The explosion was so powerful; it blew the ship back with stupendous force and sent it spiraling out of control for a little while. After fighting with the controls for a bit, Samus finally calmed the ship down.

"Holy Din! We're still alive!" Link screamed out in surprised.

"LEAPING LIGHTYEARS!! YOU ARE THE MASTER OF SUSPENSE, SAMUS!!" Peppy screamed over the intercom.

"You guys are alright!" Mario shouted back over the intercom.

"The missiles died right after you destroyed that Pirate. And when I say destroyed, I mean it in every sense of the word! There's no proof that it even existed! You OBLITERATED him!" Falco announced.

"We can't celebrate yet, peeps. We still gotta take care of Kraid... And I'm pretty sure he knows we're here." Link said.

"You're right, Link. Prepare for landing." Samus said.

"I'm coming with you. I need to meet this Kraid-character. Peppy, Slippy: you guys patrol the area and make sure it's clear." Falco commanded.

"No problem. Nothing can be as tough as what we just faced a minute ago." Slippy said.

"I couldn't agree with you more, Slippy. Good luck down there, guys." Peppy said and left to patrol the planet as Samus and Falco began their respective ship's decent toward the orange planet.


	10. Long Time, No See: Part 3

**Act 7****: _Long Time No See_** (Part 3)

Samus's crew finally landed on the surface of Zebes. The environment hadn't changed one bit since the last time they had been there. Samus had put on her helmet once again to prepare for the battle against Kraid.

"I can only guess the Brinstar Depths is underground. So where do we start digging?" Mario asked.

"We don't. This entire planet is connected by an intricate series of elevators and tunnels. If you haven't noticed, I just-so-happened to land right near an elevator shaft that can bring us directly to the Depths. Just follow me and we'll be there in no time." Samus said and started walking toward the elevator.

Everyone had reached the elevator shaft expect Link, who seemed to still be at Samus's starship.

"What's the hold-up, Link?!" Falco yelled, wondering what could be taking him so long.

"Take it easy! You in that much of a hurry to see Kraid?! I'm comin'!" Link shouted back, finally catching up with the rest of the crew.

Finally, everyone boarded the elevator and it began its unreasonably slow decent toward the Depths. As they came closer and closer to their destination, it began to get hotter and hotter.

"Why is it so hot...? Weren't we here for the Smash tournaments? I don't remember it being this muggy..." Link whined.

"Deal with it, you baby. This is nothing." Falco replied.

"Are you kiddin' me? For every foot we go down, it feels like the temperature goes up a thousand degrees!" Link complained.

"You wanna know where _real _heat is? Go to Solar, in the Lylat system, and spend about a day there." Falco suggested. "That planet is like a mini-sun! Don't talk to me about heat until you've been there."

"I don't need to go to a different planet to complain about how hot it is!" Link countered.

"Really, Link, it's not as bad as you think." Mario said. "Even Lethal Lava Land was worse than this. That whole place is just one big fire-pit. There's even a volcano."

"That place couldn't have been that bad if you're not complainin' about it." Link said. "You wanna talk about heat, Falco? You wanna talk about volcanoes, Mario? Let's talk about Death Mountain."

"...don't the Gorons live there? That place wasn't that bad." Mario remembered.

"That's because we weren't tryin' to get into the volcano, up top." Link said. "When you get up past Goron City, the mountain literally gets pissed off, mainly because it's tryin' to keep peeps away from the Fire Temple. It spits flamin' boulders at you while you're scalin' its face, and once you actually get inside, you need a Goron's tunic just to survive the heat. And even _that _won't guarantee that you won't get burned to death in there."

"Hmmm... Sounds serious." Falco hummed.

"Serious as a heart attack. Trust me, Falco, I know heat. You want even more proof? Check these crazy scars I got from the heat blisters." Link suggested, making like he was about to take off his tunic.

"HEY!! You'll keep that shirt on if you know what's good for you!" Falco threatened with quickly-drawn blaster pointed at Link's midsection.

"Alright, alright! Chill out, Falco. Damn..." Link said, fixing his shirt, following that with a whiny sigh. "Farore... why is it so damn hot? Are we there yet?"

The elevator taking them into the Brinstar Depths stopped its decent, inadvertently answering Link's question. The crew finally arrived in the vast depths of Brinstar. There was no Kraid to be found, though. Spotting the very familiar battlefield of the _Super Smash Brothers Melee _tournament floating above them, they used a nearby teleporter to get up there.

"Well, we're here, but why isn't Kraid?" Mario asked.

"I don't know. He should be here. ...unless he decided to move up to the main part of Brinstar..." Samus suggested.

"Oh hell no! I'm not takin' that slow-ass elevator back up that hot-ass shaft!" Link shouted.

"Calm down, Link. There's another elevator that leads to Brinstar from here." Samus pointed out. Link still wore an unenthusiastic grimace on his face. "...it's considerably cooler and faster than the one we just took." She added.

Link didn't crack a smile, but his face did seem to lighten up, a little.

"Fine. Let's go." Link agreed.

Just before any of them could take a step, the entire Brinstar Depths began to rumble. Lava began to raise above all possible exits, leaving them no escape.

"I don't know whether to take this as a good thing or a bad thing." Mario said. "I mean, I know this means we finally found _the real _Kraid, but now we're trapped."

The rumbling went on for another two minutes. Even though they knew Kraid was there, he still wouldn't show up. This puzzled Samus greatly. She knew there was nowhere else for him to hide.

"Where the hell is he?!" Link impatiently shouted.

"...is that him?" Falco pointed out, checking some type of spiked surface slowly rising out of the lava.

"That's him." Samus verified, recognizing Kraid's pointy dome.

Little by painstakingly little, Kraid's body rose out of the magma.

"...it seems like he's trying to make a dramatic entrance." Samus unsurely speculated. "I hope none of you are intimidated by this."

"I'm so intimidated that I'm PISSED OFF!!" Falco shouted.

"My thoughts, exactly." Mario agreed, along with Link nodding.

_Ten minutes later..._

With Kraid _almost _completely out of the lava, but still emerging, Samus took the opportunity to give her equipment a quick check to make sure she was in optimal combat condition. Falco decided to practice his kicking techniques, furiously slicing through the air with his feet, skillfully and hastily. Mario and Link, though, were deadlocked in an epic game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, with the score tied at game-point. It may have seemed like they were goofing off instead of preparing for the arduous struggle ahead of them, but one could argue that they _were_, in fact, getting ready: the game forces you to predict your opponent's next move, which would be crucial for they were about to face.

"Rock!" Mario shouted, throwing a fist down.

Link paused, receiving a confused glance from Mario.

"Ming!" Link blurted out, jabbing Mario in the throat with his middle and ring fingers.

Mario only managed to let out a gurgling sputter as he gripped his Adam's apple in pain.

"What the hell was that for?!" Mario finally exclaimed, though with a hoarse voice, still rubbing his throat.

"Jab-to-the-throat _always_ wins." Link replied, holding up his two "minging" fingers.

"I hate you..." Mario hissed.

An ear-splitting roar was suddenly heard, signifying that Kraid _finally _emerged and was ready to battle. Each side glared at each other, briefly. While the Samus and company burned their looks of seething anger on their massive adversary, Kraid stared back at them with a smug look of arrogance. It was obvious that he didn't take the group seriously.

"**SAMUS! IT'S SO NICE OF YOU TO JOIN ME IN MY LAIR. HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?**" Kraid broke the silence with blatantly false hospitality.

"I don't have time for pointless pre-battle conversations, Kraid. All I have to say to you is if you wanted me dead, you should have done it yourself, you coward." Samus answered.

"**YOU DARE SPEAK TO ME ABOUT COWARDICE? YOU COME TO CONFRONT ME IN MY OWN LAIR WITH THREE OTHERS, AND STILL HAVE THE AUDACITY TO CALL ME A COWARD?**" Kraid asked, seemingly appalled at Samus's words. "**IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU BRING WITH YOU. ALL OF YOU WILL MEET YOUR INEVITABLE DEMISES HERE!**"

"Wrong, Kraid. You'll be meetin' _your_ demise the same way your sick, tentacled clone did: with my sword buried in your dome!" Link counter-threatened.

And with those words, the battle commenced.

Kraid surprised the crew by not slashing at them, but at the actual battlefield. This caused it to turn clockwise, sending the four scrambling to the other side of the stage to keep from falling into the boiling magma, below. During their disarray, Kraid took that opportunity to blast his dangerous stomach spikes at them. The group was effortlessly able to dodge the incoming spikes as they made it safely to the other side.

Finally, the first attacks from their side were made by Mario and Link; they shot off as many fireballs and arrows as fast as they could. This only amused Kraid, as he temporarily stopped his onslaught to laugh at the duo's attempts.

"**BWA HA HA!!! YOUR PATHETIC ATTACKS DON'T EVEN TICKLE ME!**" Kraid shouted.

Before they could even react, Kraid slammed Mario and Link with a balled up fist, effectively ending their role in the battle all too quickly. They suddenly found themselves buried neck deep in the battlefield's terrain, completely incapable of moving anything other than their heads. Link and Mario could only look at each other in stupefied disappointment while Kraid was taken over by his uproarious laughter.

"...not even an elaborate special move took us out. He just pounded us with his fist..." Mario uttered.

"Don't tell me you're done already, Mario! I know it's gonna take _way _more than that to take us out!" Link assured him, struggling to find his way out of this predicament. "Falco! Samus! Come help us out!"

The two just glanced at each other as if they were considering otherwise.

"...maybe you two should just stay put. You're just gonna get in our way." Falco stated.

"Yeah, right, Falco." Link refused to believe Falco meant that. "Help me outta here, Samus."

Samus glanced at Link for a moment, and then turned to Falco, who was slowly shaking his head, "no".

"I'm sorry, Link... but I agree with Falco." Samus admitted. "Your weaponry is no match for Kraid, and I can see it being your downfall. I think it's best if we just leave you two where you are."

After a shocked pause accompanied by a stunned look on his face, Link was just about to argue his case when Mario spoke up.

"Link." Link looked to Mario. "I agree with them, too. We're nothing to Kraid. It's better if we just stay here. I think we'll be safe until Samus and Falco finish the battle."

With a disappointed sigh, "...fine." Link muttered, defeated.

"Don't take it so hard, Link. We're not saying you're weak. We just don't want you guys to get killed." Falco said. "I can already tell Kraid won't last too long against me and Samus. We'll be done with him before you know it!" Falco confidently guaranteed. "Just don't go anywhere."

"LIKE WE HAVE A CHOICE, YOU BEAKED BASTARD!!" Link screamed at Falco, while Mario let out a subtle laugh.

"I like that kid." Falco admitted with a smile. "Alright, Samus." He said, refocusing on the battle at hand. "You fought him before, right?"

"Fought _and _defeated." Samus replied.

"Even better. So how do we make this a repeat performance?" He asked.

"We have to attack his eyes in order to get him to open his mouth. With that, I'll shoot super missiles in there. I believe if I can get three of them into his mouth, he'll be finished for good." Samus explained.

"Sounds like a plan." Falco said.

"**TRY AS HARD AS YOU CAN, BUT MY EYES WON'T BE SUCH AN EASY TARGET!**" Kraid assured them, finally ending his laughter and overhearing the plotting duo's plans.

"I dunno, Kraid... They're looking pretty big and red, to me. If that doesn't scream 'target practice', I dunno what does." Falco said.

"**OBSERVE.**" Kraid announced, and stunned Falco and Samus by lowering his eyelids until they closed shut.

Samus and Falco just glanced at each other, unable to comprehend the benefits this could possibly net Kraid.

"I don't understand..." Samus said. "It'll be impossible for you to fight us with your eyes closed."

"**CORRECTION: IT'LL BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR _YOU_ TO FIGHT _ME _WITH _YOUR_ EYES CLOSED. IT IS _VERY _POSSIBLE FOR ME, THOUGH. TO OVERCOME THIS LITTLE EYE NUANCE I'VE DEVELOPED, I HAD MY ELITE SPACE PIRATE TEAM CREATE A CONCOCTION THAT WOULD HELP ME. THEY HAVE SUCCEEDED, FOR NOW I CAN SEE THROUGH MY EYELIDS!**" Kraid concluded, immediately shooting his stomach spikes at an unprepared Samus and Falco.

They quickly reacted, going their separate ways to avoid the attack. Samus dodged the spikes by curling into her morph ball and boost-balling out of the way. Falco dodged by jumping over the area of attack as high as he could. He managed to jump up to Kraid's face-level.

Time seemed to slow down as Falco jumped up to Kraid's eye-level, sending him a piercing glare that could very well penetrate Kraid's eyelids.

Time suddenly snapped back to speed with Kraid throwing a fist at him. With lightning-quick reflexes, Falco evaded the punch with a Falco Phantasm in mid-air and ended up on Kraid's immense cranium. Hoping he found a weak spot, Falco started to attack the spikes on Kraid's head. He seemed to find that sweet spot, as Kraid frantically tried to swat his attacking opponent off his head, flinching in pain with every roundhouse Falco dealt him.

Samus added some assistance by temporarily diverting Kraid's attention to her, firing some charged power shots at him. Kraid went in, trying to deal Samus a crippling blow, but she was more than ready, space-jumping out of the way and sending another charged shot at his chest.

Figuring the bigger threat was still on his head, Kraid returned his attention to Falco. It was a little too late, though. With the time Kraid had his attention on Samus, Falco managed to weaken the spikes on his head to the point where he actually managed to break off the biggest one with a powerful smash-kick.

Kraid emitted a powerful, yet pained roar, leaving his opened mouth _very _vulnerable. Not one to miss an opportunity, Samus quickly charged up a super missile and fired it right into Kraid's gaping maw. The resulting impact blew out a few of Kraid's teeth, as well as knocking a bit of sense out of him.

"Nice shot, Samus!" Falco quickly commended, still on top of Kraid's head.

Before Falco could restart his onslaught on another spike, Kraid literally head-butted the battlefield, throwing his annoying attacker off his head and directly into Samus. Unexpectedly, the stage began to rotate, once again. They both sprung up and made their way to the safe side, leaving Mario and Link to involuntarily turn with the stage and stare down into the boiling depths, below. There wasn't a chance at them suddenly falling out of their spots, but seeing the long way down was still unnerving.

"THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN, GUYS!!" Link shouted, obviously upset about his new position.

Kraid began the next round of attacks by shooting a long stream of smaller stomach spikes into the air, allowing them to dangerously rain down on the stage. Falco took the initiative and dove at Samus while providing cover for the both of them with his Reflector. They may have been safe for the time being, but Falco could only wonder how long he'd be able to keep it up.

"Falco! You can't possibly keep this up forever." Samus said, obviously concerned.

"We better think of something fast before my Reflector breaks, then, huh? Those spikes look pretty painful." Falco suggested.

"I have an idea. It might be a little difficult." Samus warned.

"Talk quick. The Reflector won't last much longer..." Falco said.

With that, Samus pulled out a ball with her signature "S" on it from a compartment in her suit.

"This Screw Attack ball, along with my own Screw Attack, will allow me to perform a triple-jump Screw Attack. Not only will it create a protective and destructive barrier around me, it also creates a slight vortex, which should suck in some of the raining spikes and leave a decent area below me completely clear. Needless to say: try to keep up. When I begin my second jump, I'm going to redirect the spikes straight toward you. At this point, I need you to reflect them back to Kraid. That should at least force him to stop causing this spike rain. Can you do this?"

"You kidding me? It was harder to teach Slippy to keep up with us in Delta Formation! Whenever you're ready, just say the word." Falco assured Samus.

With a nod, Samus jumped into the hail of spikes to begin step one of her plan. Just as she explained, the vortex of the Screw Attack drew in enough spikes to clear an area below her. Falco easily kept up with her, finally able to deactivate his Reflector and let it recharge momentarily. Samus then went through with step two, sending a steady stream of spikes straight to Falco. At the last possible second, he reactivated his reflector and directed every thing right back at Kraid's massive belly. Every single spike reflected became lodged into Kraid's body, sending a surge of pain so great that only a creature of Kraid's magnitude would be able to absorb the shock and still live to tell about it. With her third and final jump, Samus used it to protect herself from the last of the torrential downpour, which had stopped once Falco sent Kraid's own weapons back at him.

Despite the incredible pain he was in, Kraid managed not to scream. He did fail to keep his eyes closed, however. All three of them were wide open with indescribable agony. Noticing the eyes, Falco quickly drew his blaster and opened fire on the newly revealed target. He only managed to hit two of the three targets, as Kraid was able to close the third eye before it could get hit, but that was the only thing needed to get Kraid to open wide and let out another ear-splitting bellow of anguish. Samus let off another super missile just before Kraid could realize what he was doing. The missile flawlessly sailed into his mouth and once again blew out some teeth, and this time, part of his cheek.

"It's over, Kraid!" Samus shouted, noticing Kraid looking considerably weaker than when they started. "Surrender!"

"**IT WILL NEVER BE OVER, SAMUS! AS LONG AS SPACE PIRATES EXIST, I WILL BE REVIVED AND I WILL BE STRONGER THAN EVER!**" Kraid roared, furiously."**EVEN IF I LOSE NOW, I WILL ONE DAY RETURN TO CRUSH YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS!**"

Kraid suddenly unleashed a new attack: rapidly spitting fireballs that were the size of small boulders at his opponents. Samus and Falco quickly dove to the side to avoid the burning balls of flame. Immediately after, Kraid slashed at the stage yet again, sending the fighting duo fleeing to the new safe side of the battlefield. If there was any good that came from this, though, it was the fact that Mario and Link were once again right-side up.

"Glad to be right-side up, again..." Mario said, woozily.

"I know what you mean. The blood was startin' to rush to my brain... Be glad we turned up when we did. It wouldn't have been pretty..." Link said.

They looked up to see Falco and Samus still battling Kraid. Falco shot with his Blaster while Samus unloaded her missiles on Kraid's face, both in hopes of getting him to open his remaining eye. Even though every hit seemed to hurt Kraid, he was fighting with determination instead of arrogance, waving off all signs of pain and continuing his onslaught of spikes and fireballs while refusing to open his eye for anything.

Kraid focused his efforts on catching Samus, first. He finally managed to find her off-guard while she was dodging a renegade fireball. Kraid shot a single spike at Samus at a surprisingly high speed. She attempted to dodge it, but sorely underestimated its speed. The spike pierced through her left shoulder-orb and pinned her to the ground.

"NO, SAMUS!!" Link screamed, once again struggling to free himself from his partially underground prison.

As Samus fought to free herself from the spike, Falco was having troubles of his own. Now that the battle suddenly became a completely uneven one-on-one, Kraid quickly took advantage of the situation, trying his hardest to shower Falco in a bath of fire. Falco, amazingly enough, was able to dodge everything thrown at him, but his constant exposure to the scorching heat of the flames was starting to take its toll, slowly making him more and more sluggish and exhausted.

Taking notice, Kraid took careful aim and bulleted another fireball at a tired Falco. He managed to avoid the fireball with a lazy dive to the side, but was in no way, shape, or form ready for the surprise hail of spikes that exploded from the fireball when it hit the ground. Taking the vicious attack in its entirety, Falco collapsed to the ground, falling into unconsciousness.

"**BWA HA HA!!**" Kraid laughed, thoroughly pleased by the results of his battle. "**YOU SAID IT WAS OVER, SAMUS. YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THAT MUCH, AT LEAST. WHAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT WAS IT BEING OVER FOR ME. QUITE THE CONTRARY! IT'S OVER FOR _YOU_!**" Kraid said, grabbing both Samus and Falco. "**I COMMEND YOU FOR TRYING TO KILL ME ONCE AGAIN. IT'S SO UNFORTUNATE THAT YOUR PLAN HAD TO FAIL SO MISERABLY. BUT DON'T WORRY; I WILL MAKE YOUR STRUGGLE SOUND EPIC. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A SOFT SPOT IN THE PIT OF MY STOMACH FOR YOU.**" And at the conclusion, Kraid engulfed the downed duo in one swallow.

Mario and Link, who were watching the battle up to that point, gasped in shock at what they just witnessed: the quite possible end of Samus Aran and Falco Lombardi.

"No..." Mario uttered in an astonished whisper. Link couldn't even bring himself to make a sound; the lump in his throat kept his vocal cords from functioning properly.

"**YOU TWO ARE STILL ALIVE?**" Kraid exclaimed, just noticing Mario and Link's heads sticking out of the ground. "**NO MATTER. THE LAVA TIDES ARE ABOUT TO BEGIN. IT WILL RISE HIGH ABOVE THE HEIGHT OF THE VERY PLATFORM YOU'RE BURIED IN. IT WILL BE A VERY PAINFUL DEATH FOR YOU, BUT JUST ANOTHER HOT BATH FOR ME.**" He taunted, laughing afterward.

"Link..." Mario said, noticing his buried partner looking desperately hopeless. "I know it's going to be hard, but we need to think more about getting out of here."

Link's expression suddenly changed. He looked up, with a new face of determination.

"We _are _gettin' outta here. How else are we gonna buy Samus more time?" Link said, actually managing to move his arm a little.

Mario didn't know how to reply to that.

"Link..." Mario said after watching Link work his arm out of his prison in the ground. "We both saw the same thing. I don't know how either of them could survive that. Even if they could take being eaten, Kraid's body temperature has to be _way_ over anything they could live through."

"B.S. I'm tellin' you that Samus _and_ Falco will be back with us." Link asserted. "We're all gonna get outta this together. You just gotta believe."

Link not only managed to free his arm, but he was also able to pull out his hookshot, which he shot at the ground to pull the rest of his body out. He quickly made it over to Mario to help him out of his hole, as well. Afterward, he equipped himself with a new, stronger sword: the Biggoron's sword. Unsheathing it, he held it towards Mario.

"Fire it up." Link commanded.

"Link... you're in denial." Mario said.

"Fire up my sword." Link repeated, still with his blade outstretched.

"Link... there's no point to this. I'm sorry about Samus, but there's nothing we can do for her now..." Mario muttered. "The onlything left for us to do is esca--"

"FIRE UP MY GOD DAMN SWORD, MARIO!!" Link suddenly burst out. Mario was shocked, causing him to stare at Link as if he was a stranger. "If you don't help me out with this, then _FUCK _bringin' your brother back!"

Those words tore Mario to pieces. He had no idea Link was _that _hung up over Samus, even after seeing that there was no hope for her. Even though Mario truly believed Link was just wasting precious little time holding on to a hopeless dream, Link was still the only one who could possibly help him in bringing his brother back, and the only way to keep him with him was to give into his demands. Through gritted teeth, Mario blazed the silver blade with his flaming hands; all while giving Link the most disappointed and offended of looks.

Link looked to his new, two-handed sword for second, then letting his eyes wander into Mario's. They locked eyes momentarily, with neither of them even sharing a breath. Deep down, Link truly regretted what he said to Mario. He never meant to say anything like that; his emotions had gotten the better of him.

Instead of apologizing, though, Link, with his fiercely heated sword, turned his attention Kraid and shot an arrow at him to catch his interest. Kraid promptly responded by returning fire, literally. Link bravely stood his ground, slicing through the burning ball of flames. Surprised by this, Kraid tried to ground Link with a closed fist, once again. There was no avail this time, as Link quickly hopped to the side, then jumped onto Kraid's massive fist, slicing up his entire arm as he made his to the head.

With crossed arms, Mario only stood by and watched Link's attempts at fighting Kraid. Although he wouldn't admit it if he were asked, Mario spitefully hoped Kraid would land one threatening blow on Link, making him realize that Mario had the right idea of leaving when they could.

Link finally reached Kraid's head, ready to repeat the feat of burying his burning brand right into Kraid's skull. Kraid tried to slap Link off his head, but his attempts were met with failure as Link's furious sword slashes actually managed to deal some damage to Kraid's tough skin, forcing him to pull back. There was nothing standing in Link's way as he positioned himself right above Kraid's brain and threw the tip of his blade right down into Kraid's skull.

What made this attempt so radically different from the episode Link faced with Kraid's clone was that his sword shattered once it hit the unforgivably-hard skull of his adversary. Link's, and even Mario's, eyes went wide in sheer astonishment. Link could only lift his shattered weapon and hold it at face-level, forcing himself to come to terms that his once thought-to-be unbreakable sword had just broke right in front of his eyes.

"**DID YOU _REALLY_ THINK THAT PITIFUL EXCUSE FOR A WEAPON COULD BRING ME ANY REAL HARM?**" Kraid taunted, submerging himself in the lava.

Link hastily jumped off Kraid's head and back onto the battlefield. Kraid quickly re-emerged with a dripping mouthful of magma. Link could only guess what Kraid was planning to do. Unfortunately, his assumption was correct as Kraid spit a scalding stream of boiling lava right at him. Although he knew it'd be useless, Link braced himself behind his shield in an attempt to defend himself from the lethal spray.

The last thing either of them expected was Mario literally jumping in with his cape spinning, miraculously redirecting all the lava meant for Link back into Kraid's face. While Kraid backed away, growling in pain with his hands over his eyes because of the magma he caught in them, Link stared at Mario in disbelief.

"You... saved my life." Link uttered, still shocked by Mario's gesture, even after what he said to him.

"I know." Mario simply nodded.

Any other person would've left him to burn after what he did, and Link knew this. But not Mario. Link had no idea what to say after that except the obvious...

"Mario, man..." Link hung his head. "I'm sorry about what I said. I didn't mean _a word _of that."

Mario kept silent for a second, leaving Link to wonder if Mario would ever accept his apology. What he said _was_ unnecessarily harsh. But with a consoling hand on his shoulder and a nod...

"It's alright, Link." Mario accepted the apology. "That's what I kept telling myself to keep me from finding a way out of here without you." He admitted. "To tell you the truth, I had no idea my cape could reflect the lava. It was the only thing left to do. You have no idea how lucky you are."

"**I MUST ADMIT...**" Kraidstarted, wiping the excess magma off his face. "**YOU TWO ARE FULL OF SURPRISES. I NEVER WOULD'VE EXPECTED YOU TO SURVIVE THIS LONG. BUT THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO SAVE YOU. I WAS GOING TO LET YOU DROWN IN LAVA, BUT I THINK IT'S BEST IF I TAKE CARE OF YOU TWO PERSONALLY.**"

Kraid then began breathing in deeply, sucking in huge amounts of lava. He was preparing to fire a gargantuan fireball at the two; one that they had no hope of escaping. They could tell it was going to be something spectacular by the way bright flames were flaring from Kraid's nostrils.

"You ready for another staring contest with Death?" Mario asked Link, seeing no way out of this, but remaining brave, anyway.

"I've had so many contests with him; I forgot how to blink! Bring it on, Kraid!" Link shouted, throwing his broken Biggoron's Sword and his shield down while provoking Kraid to do his worst.

Kraid stared at them for a second, stunned by their demeanor, even in the face of certain doom. Streams of lava and bits of the fireball drooled from his enormous maw. He reared his head back, seconds away from delivering the monstrous sphere of flames.

And all Mario and Link could do was brace themselves, awaiting their unavoidable demises...


	11. Long Time, No See: Part 4

**Act 7****: _Long Time No See_** (Part 4)

...

They were still waiting...

"...I think we shoulda been dead by now." Link said, amazed that they were still breathing.

"Same here..." Mario said in equal awe.

"What wrong, Kraid? Don't bitch out! FINISH US!!" Link shouted, tauntingly, at Kraid, throwing his arms up to further provoke his gigantic enemy.

"You know... I don't have a problem if he doesn'twant to..." Mario said.

"Yeah, neither do I." Link admitted. "I still kinda wanna know why he's just standin' there. He knows we'd be dead if he spits at us, so why'd he stop?"

The two stared at Kraid, who still had his head reared back as if he was going to send off the fireball at any second. It seemed like he was frozen in this position, though. Mario and Link glanced at each other, confused by what was going on. Suddenly, Kraid began to tremble violently, with a deep rumbling that could be heard from within him.

"Is this another attack he has?" Link wondered.

"No, it looks like he's not doing that on purpose." Mario speculated, studying Kraid's uncontrolled movements. His face paled, a little, when he came to a possible realization. "Oh no... I think he's about to blow!"

"Blow? As in 'blow the hell up'? Explode?!" Link exclaimed, already knowing the frightening answer.

"What else can I mean by that?!" Mario shouted back, sarcastically. "We need to duck for cover!" He ordered, immediately hitting the deck with Link following suite.

Seconds later, the trembling came to an apex. It was more like a quake than a tremble. Tidal waves of lava were created and crashed against the bottom of the stage. Then, just like that, Kraid literally erupted, sending all types of nasty chucks of him flying all over the Brinstar Depths. Renegade splotches of slime splattered all over Mario and Link. Most of it landed in the lava, but a few particularly large blobs landed on the stage where Mario and Link were.

"Eeeewwww..." They groaned simultaneously, as they rose to their feet while trying to wipe the slime off themselves.

They noticed the blobs that landed on the stage. One of them started jiggling, with an arm and a foot awkwardly sticking out. They seemed like they were struggling to escape their slimy prison.

"Mario, you see that? That's gotta be Samus! And maybe Falco's in one of the other blobs!" Link excitedly said. "I _told _you they'd still be alive!"

Mario could only smile. This was one of those times where he was never so glad to be wrong.

"I think Samus is in that one, so I'm headin' over there. You check one of those for Falco." Link suggested.

With that, they temporarily parted ways. Mario checked the nearest blob. He couldn't believe his luck; he found Falco on his first try, who had been struggling to escape from the blob on his own. Mario pulled his winged teammate out of the slime and stared at him as if he had a knife through his head.

"I can't believe you're still alive..." Mario uttered.

"What'd you expect? Of course I'm... still alive! The only way I'll die... is of natural causes. Besides, Kraid doesn't chew... his food before he swallows." Falco panted, still obviously suffering from the exhaustion of the battle.

"Is Samus alright, too?" Mario asked.

"She's better than alright. She's the reason... Kraid exploded! You gotta love those power bombs..." Falco said.

"Where is she?" Mario wondered.

"When Kraid started blowing up... me and Samus tried to stay with each other so we wouldn't get separated after the explosion. Obviously, it didn't work out the way we wanted... but she should still be alright. She should be in one of the blobs." Falco explained, slowly catching his breath.

While Falco and Mario caught each other up in their most recent events, Link struggled to free the trapped body from the thick sludge.

"Don't worry, I'm right here! Just grab my hand, Samus-baby." Link comforted and pulled the arm out of the slime.

"Link?" Samus asked.

"That's my name. Where's your head? I wanna see your face." Link said.

"It's behind you, along with the rest of my body." Samus said.

"...what?" Link said, confused, and turned around.

Sure enough, Samus really behind him, covered in slime. Other than the hole in her armor just above her shoulder, she was perfectly fine.

"What are you doin' over there?!" Link shouted in disbelief. "And if that's you, then who the hell is this?!" He realized, frantically pulling the arm out of the slime.

As Link pulled at the arm, more of the body was uncovered. First, the back could be seen, with a long cape covering it. Then, there was a head with familiar short, fiery-orange hair. Then, there was the unmistakably long nose...

"ARE YOU KIDDIN' ME?!!" Link yelled as he realized just who he was pulling out of the slime, dropping the arm in shock.

It was Ganondorf; unconscious from the explosion. Link's heart jumped as he slowly backed up to where Mario, Samus, and Falco were standing.

"Mario... look..." Link stammered as he pointed at Ganondorf.

Thoroughly befuddled as well, Mario stared at an unconscious Ganondorf. _How could he be here in the Brinstar Depths when we left him in Hyrule_ was what they both thought as they stared him.

Suddenly, Ganondorf began to rise out of the slime, but he was still unconscious. Another head could be seen below him. It seemed like Ganondorf was lying on top of someone else. Ganondorf had fallen off the new, upright body, who had his back to the four-person crew. Spikes poked out from the goop and sharp nails could be seen sticking out from the large hands and feet.

"No way..." Mario gasped as he realized who the other person was.

It was none other than King Koopa himself: Bowser! Checking his surroundings, he began to scan the area, stopping cold in his tracks when he saw Link and Mario staring at him. _How the hell did they get here_ is what he thought to himself as he stared at the two, trying to convince himself that they actually were right there.

At that moment, Ganondorf finally started coming to. Groggily rising to his feet, he caught Bowser seemingly mesmerized by something. Ganondorf's light shoves to his arm weren't doing a good job of catching his attention. He was seconds away from speaking up, but immediately understood why Bowser was so awestruck. His eyes became fixated on his two adversaries; Mario and Link. _What the fuck are they doin' here_ is what Ganondorf thought to himself as he took the first step forward, inching nearer to the opposing crew.

Link followed Ganondorf's example, taking a step of his own forward. Bowser and Mario did the same. All four of them came closer and closer to each other until they were standing face-to-face: Link facing Ganondorf, and Bowser facing Mario. Samus and Falco could only look on, expecting an inevitable fight to take place between the four.

Link slowly reached behind him to grab the hilt of his sheathed Master Sword. Ganondorf let his dark energy flow to each hand. Mario subtly raised his fists to assume a fighting stance. Bowser cracked each of his fingers in preparation for the battle.

Just before any one of them could make the first move, the ground below them began rumbling violently, bringing the potential conflict to an anticlimactic end before it could even start. All six of them struggled to keep their footing.

"We owe y'all a beat-down, but now, it's about that time." Ganondorf said, backing away toward the edge of the stage.

"See you in Hyrule." Bowser said, following Ganondorf, who just dove off the edge.

"WAIT!!" Link and Mario shouted in unison, making a mad dash to look over the edge.

They caught a glimpse of Bowser falling into a portal, which closed mere seconds after he entered. After the portal disappeared, Link and Mario noticed the lava was a lot higher than they last remembered, boiling against the bottom of the platform.

"No! The lava tides!" Mario realized.

"...you guys feel that?" Falco said, looking to his feet.

The ground's rumbling was dying down, but an even scarier feeling replaced that; the feeling of the floating plot of land teetering on its side as if it was about to fall. And fall, it did, landing face-down into the boiling pool of magma. Everyone managed to make it to the safe side of the land, and was especially thankful that the land was able to serve as a floatation device.

"What do we do now?! Every single exit is under the lava!" Mario said, frantically looking around the caverns, hoping he'd miraculously find a hidden escape.

"It can't get any worse than this!" Falco said.

"Did you forget Murphy's Law already? It can always get worse, and it _will_. Just be prepared for it." Samus calmly stated.

"How can it..." Falco started, but was never able to finish that question.

A subtle rumbling was felt beneath the ground they were standing on. Suddenly, a burst of magma erupted below the plot of land, sending all of them sky-rocketing into the ceiling. They sped all the way up, nearly crashing into the roof of the Brinstar Depths, but _just _stopped short, falling back down into the lava.

"DAMN YOU AND YOUR LAWS, MURPHY!!" Falco screamed, throwing both his fists into the air and shaking them angrily.

Just then, Link began silently laughing to himself. A hyperventilating Mario caught sight of this. When Link noticed him, he broke out into a whole-hearted guffaw. Everyone else could only look at him like he had completely lost his mind.

"You're kinda scaring me, Link..." Falco admitted.

"Please share what could possibly be so funny at a time like this." Samus ordered as the plot of land started rumbling as if it was once again about to be catapulted into the air.

"Yo, Mario! Remember when Sephiroth summoned Meteor, and the only way we could escape was with Farore's Wind?" Link asked, still snickering.

"Yes... It wasn't that long since it happened..." Mario answered, failing to see the point of that question.

"And remember we ended up in a random place because I didn't set it before?" Link continued, wearing a grin as if everything was going great.

"Get to the point!" Mario shouted, just after the plot of land was shot skyward again.

"It looks we gotta use it again. And we're all probably gonna end up somewhere random because I didn't set it before, right?" Link looked to Mario.

"Unfortunately..." Mario muttered, knowing the answer all too well.

"SURPRISE!!" Link suddenly burst out. "I remembered to set it up this time! I set it right before we boarded the elevator, so we'll end up right in front of Samus's starship! That's why I took so long to catch up to you guys."

"This is probably the smartest thing you've done all day! Get us out of here, then!" Falco shouted as the plot of landed in the lava again.

"Not yet..." Link defied, calmly.

"WHAT?!!" Falco shouted on top of his lungs. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN 'NOT YET'?!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE IF WE STAY HERE ANY LONGER!!"

"First, I need Samus to promise me somethin'..." Link said with a sly look on his face.

"Link... tell me you're joking..." Mario shook his head, completely mystified as to why Link would choose such an inappropriate time to joke around.

"Samus...?" Link said, looking to her, with his face suddenly turning very serious.

Samus could've very easily "persuaded" Link to quit the games and get them all out of harm's way. "Persuaded" meaning "very painfully forced"... But, for some odd reason she will never understand, she decided to play along and listen to what Link had to say.

"Yes... Link?" Samus asked with a confused look under her helmet.

Link motioned Samus to come closer so he could whisper it into her ear. Samus removed her helmet and listened to Link's request. First, an appalled look took over her face. She then promptly responded by clocking Link over the head with her helmet and shoving her arm cannon under his chin.

"Not even if we were married..." Samus hissed at Link.

"Okay, okay! I was just kiddin'! We can leave now. Gather 'round, people." Link announced as everyone got close to him.

As everyone got closer to him, the land was blasted into the air again. This time, it was inevitable that it would slam directly into the ceiling.

"All aboard?" Link asked.

"CUT THE BULLSHIT AND USE THE GOD DAMN THING!!!" Falco lividly screamed.

Link immediately used Farore's wind, safely teleporting all four of them out of the Brinstar Depths just as the plot of land smashed into the ceiling. All of them ended up exactly where Link said they would: right in front of the Samus's starship.

"Thank you, thank you! No applaud necessary. I know I'm the man! You don't have to say anything." Link boasted while taking a bow.

"You caused more heart trauma than I would've liked to experience." Samus said to Link.

"Yep. I'm sure my lifespan is about five years shorter now." Falco added.

"Whatever. We're out, aren't we? That's all that matters. Now me and Mario can get back to savin' Luigi and returnin' to Hyrule." Link said.

"Luigi..." Falco repeated, the name ringing a bell. "Isn't that your brother, Mario? What happened to him?"

"It's a long story. If you come with us, though, we'll have plenty of time to tell you about it." Mario said.

"Why don't you join up with us, too, Samus?" Link added.

Just as they were about to respond, Falco's receiver suddenly went off. Surprised by it, as if he forgot he had it, he held his hand to his ear and answered.

"Falco here." He said.

"It's about time you answered! We have a BIG problem up here!" Peppy said on the opposite end.

"Hey, we had problems of our own! Sorry I couldn't be there to do _everything_ for you!" Falco sarcastically apologized. "What's the problem?"

"A big space dragon suddenly showed up and attacked us! He just came out of nowhere! We barely escaped with out ships still in one piece! We're heading back to the Great Fox for repairs." Slippy reported.

"A dragon... What kind of attacks did it have?" Samus wondered.

"First, he caught us from behind with a Meson Bomb. Then, he attacked us with an Ultrathermal Flamestrike Projector. We managed to tack on a tracking device, but I don't know how long that'll stay on him." Slippy answered.

"Ridley..." Samus angrily whispered.

"Samus knows what attacked you. We'll meet you back at the Great Fox to make plans." Falco said and closed the reception.

"There's more Space Pirates like Kraid?" Mario asked.

"Ridley is not like Kraid. He poses as a much greater threat. He has to be destroyed..." Samus stated.

"We're with you all the way, baby." Link assured her, holding Samus's shoulder.

She shook her head in disagreement. "No. I've gotten you and Mario too involved in my struggles. You should go back to your original quest." Samus said.

"Nah! I can't leave you now when I'm this involved! I'ma help you out until the very end! I'm pretty sure even Mario wants to help you finish off the Space Pirates, right, Mario?" Link said, turning to Mario.

Against what Link believed, Mario shook his head. "She's right, Link. We really should get back to what _we_ have to do. It's not just Luigi we have to save. Peach and Zelda are depending on us, too." Mario reminded Link. "Samus can take care of herself. Besides, she won't be alone. The Star Fox team will be ready and willing to help. Am I right, Falco?" He asked, turning to Falco.

"Not only are you right, you're _damn_ right!" Falco verified, holding up a fist of determination. "We'll see you through to the end, Samus."

"Alright, then. Let's go save Luigi, Mario!" Link said, trying to sound cheerful. Inside, he really didn't want to leave Samus's side.

"I'm gonna make my way to the Great Fox. I'll need my Arwing in top shape if we're gonna take on Ridley. After you drop these guys off wherever they need to be, contact me. I'll give you directions to the Great Fox. We'll plan our strategies there. You can also get your arm checked out." Falco explained.

"Understood. I'll see you soon, Falco." Samus said.

Mario and Link simply waved goodbye to Falco as he boarded his Arwing and blasted off into the deep reaches of space, toward the Great Fox. Samus, Mario, and Link made their way to the starship and blasted off, using the limitless knowledge of the Chozo to find their way toward the Green Hill Zone.

_Back in Ganondorf's Castle..._

"Fuckery, B-boss. Pure, untainted fuckery." Ganondorf stated, glaring at the smoldering pool of lava once known as the Brinstar Depths through his Interdimensional-Warp Machine's monitor.

"We got beaten up. Twice... We got _eaten_..." Bowser just paused for a minute, letting what he just said sink in. "...I never thought, in a million years, that'd ever happen to us. _Ever_. Who the hell gets eaten these days?"

"Yo... first you cheat the shit out of the system by bringing Mewtwo and another me to our sparing session... then Mewtwo did some sneaky-ass bullshit, makin' me feel real down when I shoulda been celebratin'... _then _I get fucked up by metroids... _THEN _I catch yo' ass _in my face_..." Ganondorf let out a deep, exhausted sigh while holding his face in his palm. "I can't even go on. This day sucked hard, Bowser. _Sucked hard_."

"Probably one of the worst days of my life..." Bowser stated.

"I'm gonna take a long-ass shower, then I'm jus' gonna ease out until I hear from Link. If it wasn't for the fact that I'd be beatin' the wackness in and out of Link at the end of this story, I'd take myself out of this bullshit. If you see the author even _typing_ my name before we meet up wit' Link, tell him _I _said 'fuck off before I choke you out wit' yo' own spinal cord'."

"...the author?" Bowser had no idea what Ganondorf was talking about.

"Wait a godamn minute..." I had to make my presence felt. "How the hell do you know this is a story, Ganondorf?!"

"Say it, Bowser." Ganondorf requested.

"What the hell..." That was the only thing Bowser could say, as he was dumbfounded by what he was witnessing.

"I know what you were gonna have him say. Even if he could say it, we both know it could never happen. You are words in my story. What the hell can you do to me?"

"You have no fuckin' clue how serious I am." Ganondorf said. "I'll take every single character you typed to tell this shit, create a life-size copy of myself, jump out your computer, and beat you half-way to death."

"...what the hell..." Bowser uttered.

"You still need to answer my damn question. This should be life for you!"

"This isn't life; this is bullshit! I'd never lose, I'd never get eaten, and I'd _never _get a faceful of Bowser's fuckin' ass if this was life." Ganondorf pointed out. "I still can't believe you did that shit... Whatever other retarded shit you have planned, I want no fuckin' part of. The only thing you'll be doin' wit' me is puttin' me in a battle to the death with Link, and it's gonna be a battle that I can't lose."

"Who's the author here, Ganondorf? You can't tell me what to write! You'll be in the story whenever I feel like putting you in, and you'll love ever damn second of it!"

"If you put me in the story, I'll do everythin' within my power to make sure whatever I'm doin' doesn't advance the plot. There will be none of that will happen until I'm dealin' wit' Link."

"Fine. You'll just be a comic diversion from the main plot when I can't think of anything to write."

"What-the fuck-ever." Ganondorf simply replied. "I'ma go take my shower." He said, finally leaving for his room. I decided to make an exit, as well.

"...what... the hell...?" Bowser muttered once again, still failing to comprehend that I just shamelessly and randomly threw myself into my own fanfic.


	12. Long Time, No See: Part 5

**Act 7****: _Long Time No See_** (Part 5)

_Rejoining Link, Mario, and Samus..._

In no time at all, the three made it to Sonic's home planet of Moblius, setting their landing site to the Green Hilll Zone. Once they touched down, the three were almost amazed by the complete contrast in atmosphere. While everything on Zebes seemed dull, dank, and lonely, Green Hill Zone felt overwhelmingly happier and more hopeful. The sun was shining bright, the skies were blue, animals were playing... It was an all-around friendly and inviting environment.

"It's hard to believe your brother was killed _here_, of all places." Samus admitted. She had earlier powered-down her Varia suit and dressed in a tight-fitting, dark-blue flight suit with her hair tied back into a pony-tail.

"I know." Mario agreed.

There was a brief pause. Mario knew this could quite possibly be the last time he'd see Samus before the next Smash tournament. After all they'd been through together, it was a bit hard for him to think of saying farewell.

"Well... I guess this is it." Mario started. "You have no idea how grateful I am for you bringing us here, Samus."

"Think nothing of it." Samus said. "After everything you two have done for me, I couldn't even consider not assisting you."

Mario warmly smiled. "Thanks for everything. Hey, next tournament, bring your A-game."

"So you noticed I was slacking last time... I won't disappoint this time around. I refuse to lose to Link in the semi-finals again." Samus said, turning to Link and giving him a competitive grin and a playful shove.

Link only replied with a weak smile, then turned around to gaze out of the windshield. Neither Mario nor Samus had to ask; they already knew what was troubling him.

"I think I should leave you two alone." Mario concluded, finding his way out of the ship's cockpit.

Samus moved her hand to Link's back, rubbing it, consolingly. A meaningful smile crept onto Link's face as he turned around to face her, slowly wrapping his arms around her waist. They gazed into each other's eyes, losing themselves in each other's bright blue pools of emotion.

"Link..." Samus began, but immediately found his finger over her lips.

His eyes slowly wandered from her eyes down to her lips; those sweet, soft-looking lips he had fantasized about kissing for so long... His hand found its way up to Samus's cheek, caressing it softly as Link slowly bought his face closer and closer to Samus's. He was about to act out one of his greatest fantasies.

Refusing to be kept waiting, Samus pulled in Link the rest of the way, locking him in a deeply intimate kiss. For that passionate moment, Link cared about nothing else. All he wanted to do was stay there with Samus in his arms for all eternity, just like that. Unfortunately, all good things have to come to an end. After sharing their deep sentiments for each other, Link embraced her one last time, holding her tightly in his arms and kissing her on the cheek. There were things they actually wanted to say to each other, but after the love they just shared, words just seemed too weak to properly convey what they felt.

Finally breaking their loving embrace, Samus and Link exited the cockpit, making their way to the starship's exit, with Mario following. Mario and Link boarded the elevator, taking one last look at Samus's bittersweet visage trying to keep up a smile as it lifted them out of her starship.

They were finally greeted by the comfortably warm air of the Green Hill Zone. They hopped off of Samus's ship and turned back to watch it fly up into the sky.

"And then... there were two." Mario said, viewing the ship pick up speed and disappear as a twinkle in the clear, blue sky.

Link let out a deep sigh. "Let's save your brother, Mario." He said, wanting to quickly get back into his quest and preoccupy his mind. "Where'd he get murked?"

There may have been no warp-pipe to serve as a land mark, but Mario knew the way as if it was a calling. They quickly made it to the scene of the crime. So many adorable animals were playing around the area, no one would ever believe that this was once the spot of a brutal massacre.

"You sure this is it?" Link asked, making sure.

"I'm positive. I'd never forget this place." Mario assured him.

"Alright." Link pulled out the fabled Ocarina of Time and put it to his mouth. "OH!!" He suddenly remembered something. "While I'm playing the Song of Time, hold me."

"...hold you?" Mario made a slight grimace.

"Yeah. If you wanna come back in time with me, you're gonna have to. Otherwise, you'll just be standing here wonderin' where the hell I went."

"Oh..." Mario understood, grabbing hold of Link's shoulder. "Why didn't you just say so? I thought you wanted to dance with me or something."

"Nah..." Link shook his head. "We'll do that to the Minuet of Forest."

"Just play your flute." Mario said.

"It's an ocarina, man... Get it right!" Link said, finally playing the mystic notes that created the Song of Time.

Immediately, the entire environment became distorted, blurring out into blackness. Obviously used to the effects, Link continued to play his instrument. Mario, on the other hand, was beginning to find it difficult to stay conscious. His vision kept slipping in and out of focus. His head began to throb as he started feeling woozy, fighting to keep a firm hold on Link's shoulder. He didn't even want to _think_ about what would happen to him if he let go... As hard as he fought, Mario just couldn't fight it, fainting just before a world blurred back into focus.

_A few seconds later..._

"Mario...?" A voice was heard calling his name.

He stirred, partially opening his eyes, but quickly closing them shut when the blazing sunlight poured into his sensitive pupils. That didn't help his still-pounding headache in the least bit.

"Mario, man... you okay?" He recognized Link's voice of concern.

"Uunnngh... My brain feels like it's about to explode..." He complained.

"Yeah... sorry about that." Link apologized. "I guess I'm used to time-travel. I didn't think it'd affect you like that."

"It's alright. I'll live." Mario assured him.

"You... still might wanna get yourself checked out, though... You look kinda funny..." Link hesitantly admitted.

"Huh?" Mario's heart skipped a beat. "What are you--" Mario began rubbing his eyes, but stopped immediately after realizing that his eyes felt... different.

Mario finally opened his eyes, letting them adapt to the bright environment. The first thing he saw was Link, but not the way he remembered him.

"OH!!" Mario gasped, hastily jumping to his feet. "What the hell happened?!"

It seemed as if everything lost a lot of detail, as well as an entire dimension, since the last time he had his eyes opened. There was no easy way to describe how the Green Hill Zone now looked. To put it as simply as possible, Green Hill Zone had somehow reverted to its two dimensional, 16-bit graphics form, while Link (and even himself, Mario presumed) had attained their 8-bit designs.

"Link..." Mario started, his 8-bit heard pounding rapidly from the shock. "You went _way _too far back in time..."

"...whoops..." Link muttered. "My fault... Time flows differently, here. I still need to get a feel for it. I catch on quick, though. We'll get it right, this time."

"I hope so..." Mario said, gripping Link's pixilated shoulder.

Playing the Song of Time in all its dot matrix glory, the environment once again blurred into obscurity, beginning the time-traveling process anew. Mario once again felt the wooziness, but was able to stay conscious this time around, actually able to watch the world fade back into reality.

It seemed Link wasn't lying about his ability as a quick-learner. Not only were they, as well as the world, the way Mario remembered them, but he caught a glimpse of the infamous warp-pipe he and Luigi first arrived in. And standing right in front of the warp-pipe was none other than his little brother staring up into the sky; a stunned and horrified expression engraved in his face.

"No!" Mario shouted, knowing exactly why Luigi's expression was so terrified. "We won't make it in time!"

"Eff that idea!" Link begged to differ, darting at the helpless Luigi, in a race to reach him before the murderous Super Sonic did.

Mario's legs felt like lead. He couldn't even comprehend moving toward his brother in need. All he could do was watch as Link and Sonic inched closer to his prone sibling.

As Link ran, he caught a glimpse of Sonic swooping down, preparing for nothing else other than vicious decapitation. Link knew he wouldn't be able to make it in time unless he gave himself an advantage. Reaching behind him, Link whipped out his bow and armed it with an ice arrow. _If I shoot him hard enough, Sonic will fly off course in a frozen block of ice_, Link determined. Skidding to a stop with his bow in shooting position, Link prepared to let the arrow off in Sonic's path of flight. Unfortunately for Link, he was completely unaware of the hidden rock lying right in the path of his skidding trajectory. Right when he was about to shoot...

"AHH!!" Link's foot crashed right into the rock, causing him to trip nastily and tumble on the ground.

"Oh my god!! NOOOOOOO!!!"

That was all that was heard from Luigi before his screams were silenced by Sonic plowing straight through his head. Wishing he didn't watch that, Link covered his face, uttering a sickened and disappointed groan.

Mario, on the other hand, was left in shock. This was the first time he actually witnessed Luigi being killed. Those feelings of sadness and self-pity resurfaced briefly as Mario watched himself emerge from the warp-pipe and deal with the loss of his brother.

Link finally rose to his feet, taking one last look at the grieving Mario of the past mourn the loss of his only brother, angry with himself for failing to save Luigi for such a clumsy reason. He slowly walked back to where his partner was standing.

"I was right there, Mario. RIGHT THERE!!" Link shouted. "And a fuckin' rock screwed up everythin'! I coulda saved him if that damn rock wasn't there! I know it! DAMN IT!!"

"Link, take it easy. No one's blaming you. History just repeated itself, that's all." Mario said, trying to calm his companion down.

Inexplicably, Link wielded his Megaton Hammer with fire in his eyes.

"Where's that godamn rock? I'm takin' it out." Link threatened.

"Don't waste your time." Mario held him back. "You're acting like the rock did it on purpose. Think about that for a minute. The thing's not even alive."

Breathing out deeply, Link finally calmed down. "Okay... I'll handle it later, then. We can still save Luigi. Grab on; I'm goin' back in time again."

Mario listened to Link, taking hold of his shoulder, once again, while Link played the Song of Time. Unbeknownst to them, a very mischievous and very pleased rock evilly chuckled to itself.

"Mwa ha ha... No one ever suspects the inanimate rock." The rock indiscreetly laughed, rolling away into a tall patch of grass.

This time, when Mario and Link arrived in the past, once again, they were greeted by the words of a very banal theme song.

_...too fast for the naked eye!  
Sonic the Hedgehog!  
Sonic!  
He can really move!  
Sonic..._

"What the hell are we listenin' to?" Link groaned with an irritated grimace.

"It's the corniest song you'll ever hear. That's all you need to know." Mario simply said. "The only good thing about this is that I know we're early."

"Great. I know you don't wanna repeat what happened earlier, so let's think of somethin'." Link suggested.

Before they could even lay down a plan of action, a new portal to what seemed to be another dimension opened up, with three new group of three hopping out.

One seemed to be a normal teenage boy donning a turquoise karate gi, with a white bandana wrapped around his spiky red-orange hair.

One was dressed in a medieval cape, wearing a breastplate over his white shirt, and trousers. The thing that made him stand out immediately, though, was that he a human-sized frog!

Although the last character seemed human, judging from his long white hair, pale skin, and glowing red cape, he seemed mystically powerful. The powerful aura surrounding him definitely didn't deter from that assumption, either.

"Where couldst we have ended up?" The frog asked.

"It looks as though we've traveled too far into the future, but no further than 2300AD. This place hasn't felt the wrath of Lavos, yet." The mystic said.

The spiky-headed teen simply nodded.

"Who are you guys?" Link spoke up, slightly wary of this new group of people.

"And what's all this about 2300AD and 'Lavos'?" Mario added.

"I am beknownst across the land as simply Frog." Frog answered.

"I am Magus. That is Crono." Magus said, looking toward the spiky-headed kid.

"Can't he talk?" Mario asked.

"He hath heldeth his tongue for the entire journey. I believe him to be a silent protagonist." Frog explained.

"A journey, huh? What are you guys doin'?" Link asked.

"There are actually seven of us; the other four are waiting at The End of Time. We all met by fate under different circumstances during different time periods. Although we are all from different eras, our ultimate goal is the same: we must defeat Lavos before he sends our world into an inescapable apocalypse." Magus answered.

"Ah..." Mario nodded.

"That kinda sounds like me and Mario, but we don't really have any apocalypses to worry about. Fate hooked us up, too; puttin' us together so we can save our princesses, Zelda and Peach. But before we handle that, we were right in the middle of somethin' else." Link explained.

"Alloweth me to make a scholarly conjecture. Wouldst thou be attempting to rescue your dear brother from certain doom?" Frog asked, first looking to Mario, then gazing past the two, seeing inevitability on the horizon.

Mario and Link just looked to each other, astounded by Frog's accurate guesswork.

"Yes..." Mario eventually responded.

"I foresee his unfortunate decapitation by a golden hedgehog." Magus added, also seeing certain doom for Mario's green-attired sibling.

"Are you people psychics? If you know all that, then you know we have to save my brother before that happens!" Mario said, urgently, not noticing that they were watching Luigi about to get decapitated.

"We're far from clairvoyant, but we're sorry to say that it's too late for him." Magus stated.

"No it--" Link began, but was immediately interrupted by Luigi's terrified scream.

"Oh my god!! NOOOOOOO!!!" He shouted, immediately with the sound of his decapitation following afterward.

Everyone watching could only turn their heads away as Luigi's head was once again violently claimed by an overpowered Super Sonic.

"...tough luck..." Crono muttered.

Mario was shocked by Crono's decision to finally share his first words. First, he and his team suddenly appeared right as Mario and Link were about to develop their plans to save his brother. Then, instead of allowing them to jump in to stop Luigi's death, they'd rather give them the play-by-play of what was happening. And finally, just to put the icing on the proverbial grim cake, Crono finally opens his mouth to mutter "tough luck", as if nothing could be done from the start.

Mario hadn't felt a rage like what he was feeling since he was personally pitted against Sonic. His blood boiled in his veins as he glared at his new teenage opponent.

"You finallyopen your mouth just to utter 'tough luck'? _I'll _show you tough luck!!" Mario raged on, charging at Crono with his hands a-blazing.

Unfortunately for Mario, Crono was a very powerful warrior despite what his teenage appearance suggested. He very slowly floated into the air as he shined an electric yellow. Mario skidded to an intimidated stop while Frog, Link, and Magus backed away, knowing no good could come from this. Suddenly, Crono released an overwhelming blast of pure electric energy which consumed Mario completely, leaving him in a smoldering, unconscious mess on the ground.

"...wow..." Link muttered, bewildered by Crono's unlikely power.

Magus then noticed the royal blue ocarina in Link's hand.

"What is that instrument in your hand?" Magus inquired.

Link quickly looked down to his left hand. "This is the Ocarina of Time."

"A time-traveling device?" Frog wondered.

Link simply nodded. "I use it all the time."

"I see..." Magus nodded, a _very _subtle hint of disappointment was heard in his voice. "I should not have to tell you this, but it is imperative that you understand the risks of fondling the fabrics of time. A legend being told from generation to generation is prone to change as the story is constantly retold. As with a legend, a scene in time being replayed so frequently will be at risk of changing in ways you cannot even begin to fathom." Magus warned.

"Whatever you say." Link arrogantly said, failing to heed Magus's words. "Just so you know; I'm the Hero of Time." His intrepid fanfare blared throughout the relative silence of the grassy knoll. "I think I'd know the risks of runnin' though time over and over again."

"Very well. Just know that you have been warned..." Magus said, motioning Crono to open the dimensional rip once again with his time-traveling device, the Gate Key.

"Fare thee well!" Frog said as his group, including himself, jumped into the time portal.

"I guess we should get movin', too." Link suggested to himself, hoisting an unconscious Mario onto his shoulders and singing the Song of Time on his trusted ocarina.

After traveling through time for the fourth time, Link and a newly awakened Mario found themselves watching the fierce battle between Sonic and Mario's past-self.

"Good. We're still early. There's _no way_ we can screw up this time." Mario asserted.

"Third time's a charm." Link stated. "What's the deal?"

"I would just run in there and keep Luigi from ever finding himself in that position, but I don't know how I'd handle seeing myself steal away my only brother." Mario speculated. "We'll wait until I get turned into ball, then we'll snatch Luigi. Sonic won't be looking for revenge if Luigi never landed that Super Jump Punch."

"...but what'll happen to you?" Link wondered.

"Oh yeah... Chao Kindergarten..." Mario remembered. "Okay... we'll have to wait for Luigi to land that Fire Punch, then. But _as soon as that happens_..." He emphasized. "...we need to grab Luigi and jump down that warp-pipe. That's the same pipe that took me to Hyrule."

"Nah..." Link shook his head. "Too many things can go wrong with that plan. One I see right off the bat is you might not turn back to normal because things we might've changed a crucial element just by bein' here. If we stand back and watch everythin' go down like they were supposed to, though, we'll be better off."

"But when I turn back no normal, Luigi immediately starts talking to me." Mario let out a sigh of frustration. "Urrrgh... The only chance we have left is to wait until I jump into the warp-pipe without Luigi."

"That's... no good, either..." Link slowly muttered.

Mario was obviously getting upset with every plan he came up with getting shot down time after time.

"You'll already be in the warp-pipe, right? So how are we gonna get back to Hyrule without passing you in there?" Link continued with an explanation.

"Then why don't we just wait a while until we're sure I'm out of the picture?" Mario suggested through gritted teeth.

"I don't think that's gonna happen. You were travelin' with Luigi, so you're gonna wonder what's takin' him so long to follow you into the warp-pipe and you'll come back up to check things out." Link pointed out. "Besides, Sonic's gonna be out for blood and he might consider us. I _definitely _don't wanna deal with him."

"Then how about this..." Mario started. "We'll keep Luigi with us and wait until I come back out of the warp-pipe to check on him. When I come out, we'll jump in. Simple."

"Nope." Link simply stated, shaking his head.

"DAMN IT!!" Mario was losing his mind. "WHY NOT?!!"

"You said the warp-pipe disappeared after you backflipped into it, right? What if the same thing happens when we jump in?" Link asked. "You'll be stuck in the Green Hill Zone with a pissed-off Super Sonic. I know you're strong and all that, but you already lost once to _normal_ Sonic. I don't think you'll do too good against Super Sonic, man..."

"HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SAVE MY BROTHER?!!" Mario screamed in pure frustration. "Every possible thing I can think of won't work!"

"That's true, so let _my_ brain gears spin, man." Link reminded his aggravated companion. "Don't forget who I am. I'm _supposed_ to think of every good and bad scenario. Now that we murked all the bad ones, we can think of the good stuff."

"So what's your plan, then?" Mario eagerly wondered.

"I actually don't have one, yet..." Link admitted. Mario's eyes went wide with uncontrollable fury. "I'll definitely think of something before Luigi gets killed again, though!" He hastily promised, trying to keep Mario from killing him.

But with four terrified words sent screaming through the air, Link knew it was a promise he wouldn't be able to keep.

"Oh my god!! NOOOOOOO!!!" Luigi's pre-decapitation phrase sounded off seconds before he literally lost his head for the third time that day.

Link could only bury his face in his hands, refusing to even look at Mario's face. He knew there was a look of sheer discontent just waiting to burn its image in his brain.

"Link..." Mario called to his disheartened Hylian counterpart.

Link still couldn't bring himself to look at Mario after letting him down, once again. It was _his _idea for them to come back here and play the Song of Time. After all the pain, heartache, and toil they went through to finally make it here, Link felt worthless to continuously fail at attempting to save Mario's brother from an untimely death.

"Link, look at me for a sec." Mario said, patting Link's hand with the back of his.

Hesitantly, Link lowered his hands from his eyes, making out a face on Mario that seemed far from disappointment or discouragement.

"It's probably better that you saw the flaws in all my plans instead of going along with them." Mario admitted. "We'd end up having to worry about what'd happen to _me_ instead of my brother. Let's dry those eyes and try this again." He suggested, noticing Link's glossy eyes.

"I don't cry, Mario." Link reminded him, quickly turning around and wiping his eyes dry.

"Those tears I saw are sending a different message. It's alright to admit it, Link." Mario said.

"Yeah, whatever. I know what cryin' is, and that's somethin' I just don't do." Link stubbornly asserted.

"If you say so." Mario sighed, knowing the truth all too well.

With Mario grabbing Link's shoulder once more, he played the mystic melody known as the Song of Time, though not as upbeat as he did before. Both of them had to admit: after hearing the same song over and over again, they were getting pretty tired of it.

With the arrival of the duo in the familiar scene, they found Luigi in front of the warp-pipe once again, too helpless to even defend himself. Both of them knew exactly what was going to happen next...

"Oh my god!! NOOOOOOO!!!" Luigi screamed, subsequently having his head cleared off his shoulders _yet again _by Super Sonic.

"Wow... We didn't even get a chance to move." Mario muttered.

"Something's different..." Link noticed, not even reacting to the grisly scene just replayed for the fifth time.

"What?" Mario wondered, trying to figure out what Link was thinking.

Link watched Super Sonic gain altitude after he committed the deed. His rise wasn't as fast as it usually was, but not because he was voluntarily moving slower than he was used to. It seemed as if he was moving that slowly because of a restrictive flow of time...

"Damnit..." Link muttered to himself. "I played the song too slow. We may be able to move normally, but everythin' around us is movin' at half its speed."

"I don't think that's the only thing wrong." Mario pointed to a two-tailed fox named Miles Prowler, or simply Tails, cheering on the violent efforts of Super Sonic as he reverted back to his normal self.

"Yeah, Sonic! You sure showed that green guy who's boss!" Even though time was moving at a slower rate, Tails still managed speak remarkably fast. "Now, we can race again! And pick flowers, and sing songs, and save the world, and this, and that, and blah blah blah blah--"

"SHUT UP, YOU ANNOYING LITTLE KID!!" Sonic boomed, simultaneously throwing a devastating back-handed blow to the head of Tails as he attained his Super form once again.

Mario and Link could only flinch at how vicious the hit was. They actually felt sorry for the kid. Even if he was overly annoying, that attack was undeserved. The move sent Tails spiraling through the air and ended with him face-down and unconscious.

"That was messed up..." Link admitted, appalled by what he just saw.

"Let's get out of here." Mario suggested, grabbing Link's shoulder.

Suddenly, for the first time in any reality they traveled to, Super Sonic looked in their direction; his icy-blue eyes frozen upon what he thought to be his latest casualties.

"Oh my..." Mario could only stammer. "Link... He's looking right at us..."

The shocked duo watched as Sonic gradually levitated higher and higher into the sky. Then, he began his threatening decent toward them, sending their hearts plummeting to their feet. The flow of time didn't seem to apply to Sonic as he came down faster than what should've been possible.

"PLAY THE SONG!! PLAY IT FAST!!" Mario frenetically shouted, involuntarily tightening his hold on Link's shoulder.

Literally heeding his partner's words, Link blazed through the notes of the Song of Time, throwing them out of that hostile reality just before Sonic was within a body's length of them. Once they arrived in their new location, they found Mario and Luigi just exiting the warp-pipe and surveying their surroundings.

"This is the earliest we've been. There's no way we can mess this up." Mario believed, looking from Link, back to his past self.

He was left with a visage of bewilderment as he found his past counterpart already fighting with Sonic, and at a surprisingly rapid rate.

"Link!" Mario could only shout; his shock temporarily robbing him of the ability to form complete thoughts.

"DAMNIT!!" Link shouted at himself, nearly pulling his hair under his hat out in anger. "I played to song too damn fast!"

All they had to do was look in Luigi's general direction to realize it was too late, yet again.

"Oh my god!! N--" Luigi wasn't even able to finish his shouts of horror as he was unexpectedly blindsided from behind and losing the entire right-side of his head before Sonic swooped down to claim what was left.

Mario and Link's respective breath was lost when they saw their predicament in this reality. Not only did they have Sonic in his super-form to deal with, but he now had an equally powerful companion: Shadow the Hedgehog, also in his platinum-blonde super-form. And just to remind them how utterly high the odds were stacked against them, time was flowing four times faster than normal.

Before either of them could even blink, they were suddenly roughly grabbed by the arm and pulled into flight with the super hedgehog duo. They looked as if they were going to take them right into space!

"LINK!!" Mario screamed out, stretching his arm out in an attempt to somehow grab on to Link.

Perhaps the only good thing they had going for them at the moment: Sonic and Shadow flew side-by-side, making it easy for either Mario or Link to grab onto one another. Stretching out his leg for Mario to latch on to, Link began putting his tightly-gripped ocarina to his mouth, praying that Mario would grab on before he began playing. Just as Link sounded off the first note, Mario managed to get a sub-decent hold on rim of Link's boot. That was all that was needed for both of them to escape the clutches of Sonic and Shadow, mere seconds from exiting the planet's atmosphere.

Mario and Link landed clumsily in yet another variation of the Green Hill Zone reality, catching Luigi in the all-too-foreboding position of standing in front of that infamous yellow warp-pipe.

"I'm _not_ letting this happen again!" Mario jumped up and broke out into a full sprint toward his brother.

"NO, WAIT!!" Link shouted, barely able to even rise to his feet before Mario was already within diving distance of Luigi.

Luigi was frozen in terror, wanting so badly to attempt to dive to the floor but couldn't even move. Finally, he was able to bend his knees, but he realized it would be too late.

"Oh my g--" Luigi only got out those two words before he was blindsided from his right, rolling along with another body before he could realize what was going on, leaving Sonic to swoop through nothing but clear space and begin his ascent back into the air to reformulate his plans.

Finally, when his rolling came to a stop, Luigi felt another person on top of him. The sudden tackle knocked his vision into a blur, but the figure coming into focus before his eyes left him in shock.

"Mario?!" Luigi gasped, as if he couldn't believe it.

"Mario! What the hell?!" Link shouted, running up to a floored Mario who was just rising to his feet.

"Link...?" Luigi gasped once again, his heart pumping hard from the triple shock from the attempt on his life, and the sudden appearance of his brother and Link.

"I saw Luigi die too many times, today, Link. You heard me say it earlier: I was _not_ about to let it happen again." Mario repeated from earlier.

"...I... died?" Luigi was barely able to utter, gripped in utter awe.

"You died _five _times." Mario said, holding up all five fingers on his hand. "And it would've been number six if I didn't do something about it."

Luigi just stayed silent, letting Mario's words sink in.

"What are we gonna do when you come back to check on your brother?" Link asked with an upset tone.

Just before Mario could give an answer, an evil laughter perked up their ears, turning their attentions to the source. Someone else, other than Sonic, was also flying in the air above them, assisted by some type of hovering pod. His most obvious feature was his bushy mustache, which stuck out about three inches of either side of his cheeks.

"Mwa ha ha! With my latest creation, there will never be another intruder in the Green Hill Zone again!"

It was none other than Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik. The aircraft he was flying in had a long arm on the bottom of it, complete with a five-fingered hand. The hand of the craft was also carrying a cork, and with that cork, Eggman plugged the entrance of the warp-pipe shut, making it impossible for anyone or anything to exit or enter through there. Needless to say, Mario and Link no longer had to worry about Mario's past-self coming back to check on Luigi.

"That's your latest creation, Buttnik? And you wonder why I always beat you..." Sonic said, rolling his eyes.

"Shut up, you fool, and destroy the intruders!" Eggman spat out in an order.

"Damnit... That Magus-guy was right..." Link muttered.

"What do you mean?" Mario wondered.

"He said us constantly runnin' through time would mess things up like crazy. I didn't think it'd be that bad." Link said.

"If Sonic and Eggman are working together, then you screwed up _real _bad. They're supposed to be enemies like me and Bowser!" Mario said.

Just then, Super Sonic slowly levitated near the captivated trio. They backed up until their path was obstructed by the blocked-off warp-pipe. Mario and Link looked to each other, hoping one of them would suddenly come up with a miraculous plan of escape. Luigi, on the other hand, had a fearless glare fixated on the golden hedgehog. Sonic returned an equally intimidating look, his eyes flashing a cold blue as he bore a hole through Luigi's face.

Mario and Link, along with Robotnik, all took notice, feeling almost paralyzed by the intensity of Luigi and Sonic's staring contest. If looks truly could kill, this story would be at its end because the protagonists of this grand tale would have suffered an unexpected and horrible death.

Fortunately for the author of this narrative, Mario and Link still lived on. Mario neared his intense sibling, wondering what he could possibly be thinking about at the moment. Whatever it was, he didn't like it at all.

"Luigi, you're scaring me." Mario said to his brother. "You look like you're going to do something completely crazy."

"It's not crazy if I have no way of losing." Luigi confidently stated, turning to look right into his concerned brother's face.

Below his field of vision, Mario noticed a sudden bright shine coming from where Luigi's hands would be. As he looked down, _all _of his doubts and uncertainties were washed away, leaving him with a new feeling of hope and confidence, and his first smile in a long time. Luigi had, in his hands, the ultimate weapon of the Mushroom Kingdom: the Invincibility Star.

Even Link was in awe as he immediately recognized the fabled item, watching Luigi hold it to his chest so it could take effect. And took effect, it did, suddenly blessing him with a pair of overalls that frequently switched between all colors of the rainbow, as well as giving him the trademark, unforgettable invincibility theme song.

The Invincibility Star's power truly was well-known, as even Sonic, in his super-form, lost his cold and fearless demeanor once he heard the star's music. He slowly glided backwards, knowing far too well that he was outclassed in every single way.

"Sonic, what are you doing? Get back over there and take care of him!" Eggman demanded, sorely overestimating Super Sonic's power in comparison to an invincible Luigi.

"No way, Eggman! I may be super, but he's invincible! You can take care of him yourself!" And with that, Sonic bolted away, miles out of sight in mere seconds.

...but that wasn't far enough to escape the wrath of Luigi. With a deep breath, he suddenly exploded into trail of sparkling star dust, jetting straight ahead of Sonic's flight path and halting right in front of him, acting like a stone wall blocking the passage to not only Sonic's escape, but also the rest of his life.

"Nnn-no way! NO WAY!!" Sonic yelled repeatedly in sheer astonishment. "You can't be faster than me! I'm the fastest thing on two legs!"

Luigi simply replied with a snapping karate chop to Sonic's head, literally knocking the power out of him as he fell to the ground, reverting back to his original, blue self. Sonic gripped his head in throbbing pain after he landed, but his hands slowly slipped away from his head as he saw Luigi gathering a massive amount of energy in his hands. He noticed the Smash emblem shimmering brightly in his palms as Luigi continued to gain power. Then, he touched his wrists together with his palms facing outward. They sparkled brilliantly as Luigi slowly chanted the name of his attack.

"Kaaaa-meeee-haaaa..." He slowly sounded out; the power in his hands taking the shape of a bright, golden orb.

Sonic's breathing rate involuntarily quickened to a pace beyond hyperventilation. It was funny how Sonic was once the one being feared; leaving his opponents to think of nothing else but how painfully their life would come to an end. Now finding himself in nearly the same exact position Luigi was once in, he could think about how unforgivably ironic life could be.

"...meeee-HAAAA!!!" With that final shout, Luigi forced all the energy he built up out of his hands into an almighty and unstoppable beam with no other purpose than to _annihilate_ Sonic.

"HHHHHUUUUUAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!" Sonic's screams were quickly consumed by the beam's power, leaving behind an enormous dome of blinding light and a deafening explosion that would put any supernova to shame.

Once the light finally faded into obscurity and the smoke cleared the area, nothing was left but a smoking crater. _Nothing was left but a smoking crater_. There wasn't even a trace of Sonic to be found. He had been wiped off the face of Moblius.

Mario, Link, and Eggman, viewing all the previous events from a safe distance, were left speechless. Even Mario had no idea the Invincibility Star could provide _that _much power.

Returning to the stunned trio as suddenly as he left, Luigi reverted to his old self. Even though he wasn't nearly as intimidating as he was, just seconds ago, he left a lasting impression on Eggman; able to defeat one of his greatest enemies in one swift blow where he failed time after time, contraption after contraption.

Suddenly snapping out of his confounded mind-frame, Dr. Robotnik began formulating a plan to escape before the other three could remember he was their enemy. He thought about this a little too late, though, for Mario and Link not only snapped out of their awestricken state, but they were staring right at him, along with Luigi. Eggman could easily read the cruel intentions in their eyes. Despite his incredibly low chances of escaping successfully, Eggman about-faced and bulleted away from the threatening trio.

"Should we get him?" Luigi wondered.

"...let him go." Mario decided, looking to his brother.

Suddenly, a powerful wave of relief swept over him. Finally... _Finally_, he had succeeded in what he set out to do: he risked more than just his life to return to the Green Hill Zone, and saved Luigi, against all odds. He pulled in his brother and held him in a tight, affectionate hug, overflowing with brotherly love. Although he was happy to see his brother showing so much love, he still found it awkward. This wasn't like the Mario of the night before at all...

"Yeah... Long time no see, Mario... I'm glad to see you, too..." Luigi unsurely said.

"Not as glad as me." Mario assured him, still holding on to him.

Luigi let out his first laugh in a while as he finally returned Mario's embrace. Link could only look on, admittedly feeling left out.

"...yeah, don't worry about me." Link said, speaking to no one in particular, but loud enough to be heard. "All I did was help Mario go back in time so savin' Luigi was actually possible. No one needs to show me love. It's alright."

With a smile, the brothers each raised an arm, opening a spot for Link in their circle. Link put a warm arm around both of the Mario brothers. They just stood with each other for a while.

"Alright, guys, I'm all hugged out." Luigi said.

The three of them finally relinquished their holds on each other.

"So... now what?" Luigi wondered.

"We gotta find a way back to Hyrule." Link answered. "Mario said that warp-pipe woulda taken us there in a heartbeat."

"We're going to Hyrule because that's where Peach and Bowser is." Mario said to Luigi. "They're both at Ganondorf's Castle."

"I know." Luigi nodded.

"Alright. Any leads on where to get started?" Mario inquired, looking at both Luigi and Link.

He noticed something wrong with the way Link was looking, though. All he was doing was staring at Luigi with ridiculously wide eyes, completely dumbfounded.

"...what's wrong, Link?" Mario asked, confused as to why Link seemed so stunned.

Luigi turned to Link, noticing him staring. "...there's something on my face, isn't there?" He inquired, wiping his face and looking at his hand.

"Mario... you didn't catch what Luigi just said?" Link questioned.

"He didn't say anything crazy. He just answered my question." Mario shrugged, failing to see where the problem lied.

But then it suddenly hit him like an oversized truck. Luigi _knew_ that Peach and Bowser were at Ganondorf's castle. Mario saw a huge problem with this fact, being that Luigi was clinically deceased when Mario found out this information. Even further, he'd technically be finding this out in the future, so even his past-self wouldn't know this yet. None of this was making sense to Mario.

Mario stared at Luigi with a face just as appalled as Link's once was. Luigi just looked back at him as if he didn't say anything out of the ordinary.

"What?" Luigi wondered, now slightly wary of Link and Mario's awe.

"How..." Mario couldn't get over enough of the shock to complete his question. That's all Luigi needed to hear in order to give an answer, though.

"Oooohhhh... I wasn't supposed to know that..." Luigi suddenly remembered, lightly knocking on his head as if to punish himself.

"How the hell _do _you know that?" Link demanded. "That shouldn't be possible."

"It's complicated." Luigi started. "You guys want the long version or the short version?"

"Tell us everythin' you know." Link replied.

"...it'll take over a hundred years to explain all that..." Luigi muttered, leaving Link in a mind-blown state once again, while Mario's expression somehow grew even more outraged. "...there's no time-flow in Heaven, so I that's how I was able to sit through everything."

There was dumbfounded silence in response.

"I guess I'll tell the short version." Luigi decided with a sigh. "Basically, I know I died, and I know just about everything that went on with you two between then and now. When you grabbed my past-self and told me I died, you basically bought me back to life. That let me come down and take over."

"Okay..." Link finally managed to say after his long silence. "I think can deal with that."

"I can't." Mario said, breaking his silence, as well. "We traveled back to when _you were alive_. How can you know you died when you never did? Even though we told you, you should still be refusing to believe us, not explaining how you know you died!"

"This is why there's a long version of what I just told you." Luigi sighed. "You need to know a bit of supernatural quantum mechanics. I'm in a superposition of living and not living. Eh... everything just gets weirder from there."

"What... the... hell..." Mario stammered in deep befuddlement. "You know what? I don't want to know anymore. I'm just happy to have you back, even if you are some new breed of zombie or something."

Luigi chuckled. "It feels great to be back. OH!!" He suddenly remembered something. "The guys up in Heaven gave me a going-away gift!" Luigi began searching his overall pockets. "By the way, Pit says he hopes to see you soon, Mario."

"Not too soon..." Mario shook his head. There's only one way he'd be seeing him, and Mario wasn't planning on going _anywhere _anytime soon.

"Here it is!" Luigi happily announced, holding yet another invaluable item in his hands.

"I didn't know you could play the flute, Luigi!" Link exclaimed, happy that he found another potential woodwind player. "We should hook up after this journey's over, man. We could start a band!"

"Sorry, Link, but this isn't a flute." Luigi admitted, effectively wiping the smile off of Link's face. "It's better than a flute! This is a Warp Whistle!"

"YES!!" Mario exclaimed, letting his utter glee take over and performing backflip to display his happiness.

"It's gotta be good if Mario's jumpin' around like that." Link guessed. "What's it do?"

"You'll see." Luigi held out, putting the whistle to his lips and playing the mystical notes.

The entire environment flashed white. Suddenly, a large whirlwind literally appeared from out of nowhere and swept up the three-man team, taking them high beyond the sky. Once the whirlwind dissipated, Luigi, Mario, and Link found themselves in a new dimension; a dimension riddled with warp-pipes as far as the eye could see.

"Wow..." Link uttered.

"I guess this is where my usefulness stops. I don't even know what warp-pipe to jump in. They just told me if I ever needed a quick escape, use it." Luigi recalled.

"Don't worry about it. You were only with us for maybe fifteen minutes and you've already done so much." Mario said, warmly. "Guys... there's a good chance that we won't end up in Hyrule. But wherever we do end up, I'm sure we'll be more than fine. We've all been through more hell than we've ever been through before, but we're still going on strong! Not only will we make it back to Hyrule, we're going to take Bowser and Ganondorf out, and we're going to save Peach and Zelda no matter what the odds are!" Mario said, instilling his confident optimism on his two companions.

"Damn right, Mario! Nothin's gonna stop us! I'm ready for damn-near anythin'!!" Link held up a fist of determination. "YEEEAAAHH!!!" He cried, performing a side-somersault into a randomly picked warp-pipe.

The Mario brothers blinked twice, stunned by Link's spontaneity.

"I love how gung-ho Link is." Luigi sarcastically said.

"You'll get used to it the same way I did." Mario assured him.

With those words, the two followed Link into the green warp-pipe he jumped in to. Seconds later, they jumped out of the other end, ready for anything their new environment could throw at them. Unfortunately, none of them were ready to fend for their lives so soon after arriving, for they immediately found, in the distance, a stampeding hoard of machines violently attacking each other as if they were fighting for a position in the front. At the same time, these machines were speeding straight toward the terrified trio at speeds of at least 1100km/hr. Shock clasped their hearts as they could only wonder how they were going to get out of this one.


	13. So Close, Yet So Far: Part 1

**Act 9****: _So Close, Yet So Far_** (Part 1)

"I know I said I was ready for damn-near anythin'..." Link started surprisingly calm despite the desperate situation. "...but whoever decided the one random-ass warp-pipe I jump into would lead us to certain DOOM is a fuckin' asshole!"

"Can _anyone _have _anything _that might help us survive this?" Luigi asked direly. "I _just _came back to life! I'll be the laughing-stock of Heaven if I end up back there only fifteen minutes after I was resurrected!"

"I might have somethin'." Link offered. "Get close."

Mario and Luigi heeded Link's words and huddled closer to him. The speeding machines were only a matter of seconds away from turning the trio into unrecognizable stains on the road. The brothers could only hope that whatever Link was planning would work.

"Link, what are you go--" Mario just stopped speaking when he turned back to face Link.

It seemed that instead of saving them, Link was pulling random poses as if he was attempting to impress someone. The part that got Mario the most was the fact that Link wore a serious expression on his face the entire time. Luigi, after deciding to turn back and being equally stunned, could only shake his head, defeated.

"There really is no hope, huh? I guess we should all do one last pose before we go." Luigi sadly muttered as he joined Link in his posing. "Make it memorable, guys..."

It seemed like it was all up to Mario to save the day. But this time, Mario had _nothing_. He couldn't even attempt to save the day. The only thing him he could to was brace himself...

"NAYRU'S LOVE!!" Link suddenly burst out with his arms stretched out as if he was trying to reach the heavens.

Immediately, a blue, diamond-shaped aura surrounded Link and the Mario Brothers. All the tension and fear they felt when they were outside of the diamond had dissipated. They were left with a feeling of peace and safety. Suddenly, they _knew _everything would be alright, even as one particularly humongous machine finally reached them and was inevitably about to plow right through them.

But instead, accompanied by the sound of metallic crunching, the huge machine came to a dead halt as soon as it touched the blue barrier. Despite the powerful impact, Mario, Link, and Luigi didn't even stumble. The barrier was strong enough to absorb allthe shock and leave the trio perfectly unharmed. As the barrier faded away, Mario and Luigi could only stare in awe at Link and the awesome power he had a hold of.

"Link..." The brothers uttered.

"Yo... I'm just as shocked as you are." Link admitted with wide, astounded eyes. "I never knew Nayru's Love was _that _strong! I never really used it. The only time I did was to protect myself from those annoyin'-ass Leevers by the Spirit Temple when I was a kid."

"Well, it _is _named after one of your Goddesses, Link. And I've seen the power of a god, first-hand. I can't imagine the love of any god _not _being ridiculously powerful." Luigi said.

"True." Link nodded in agreement.

"Well, since we're still alive, let's try to figure out where we are." Mario suggested.

"No need. I think I already know. There's a lot of blue as far as I can see, and I know that thing's an F-Zero machine." Luigi pointed out. "We can't be anywhere else other than Big Blue."

Mario and Link took a second to survey their surroundings. Luigi was right; except for the occasional industrial-white building, the pure-white clouds, and the metallic-white track, all they could see was a big blue ocean that connected to the big blue sky in the distance.

"You're right." Mario verified with a nod. "Not exactly the same place we all fought in for the Smash tournament, though. This spot is a little different. The roads were never this narrow." He noticed, looking from side to side.

"I'm guessin' we dropped in on a Grand Prix." Suddenly, Link remembered something. "Oh! Captain Falcon's gotta be racin', right? Let's see if he can help us out a little." Link suggested.

"We dropped in on a Grand Prix..." Mario muttered to himself. He laughed to himself for a second. _That's just our luck_, he thought.

But suddenly, nothing was funny anymore as he came to a chilling realization.

"Link, use Nayru's Love. RIGHT NOW!!" Mario urgently ordered.

"Why?" Link wondered with a shrug. "We're cool for now."

"We're still in the middle of an F-Zero Grand Prix!" Mario shouted.

Link didn't even get a chance to gasp in fear. As soon as Mario uttered those words, the former F-Zero machine suddenly jolted forward. Instead of doing what Mario said, Link attempted to outrun the heap of scrap metal. Mario and Luigi could only follow Link's example and chase after him.

"LINK!! You're supposed to be using Nayru's Love!" Mario screamed. "The racers behind us aren't going to be able to avoid the one we just crashed! And don't forget about momentum! We aren't going to be able to outrun the wreckage!"

"But we're screwed either way!" Link shot back. "I need time to pose! The more poses I do, the stronger my love for Nayru is, and the stronger the barrier will be!"

"We're screwed even more if you _don't _try anything! Just do what you can!" Mario pleaded.

Link skidded to a stop and turned around to face the oncoming wreckage, with the Mario brothers stopping directly behind him and grabbing his tunic. After fitting in as much posing as he could, Link threw his arms up.

"NAYRU'S LOVE!!" He screamed.

The protective barrier appeared once again. This time, however, that feeling of serenity was absent. Things felt just as dire on the inside as it did on the outside.

"I don't like what I'm feeling..." Luigi muttered as he watched the oversized chunk of scrap metal speed closer and closer until...

**SLAM!!**

The wreckage hit the barrier with stupendous force. Instead of being able to withstand the blow without even flinching, the crew was knocked hard to the floor. Luckily for them, though, the wreckage stopped after it hit Link's barrier.

"Damnit..." Link tenderly rose to his feet as the barrier faded away.

"Start posing. I know it's not over yet." Mario said, rising to his feet along with his brother.

Suddenly, their attention was grabbed by another F-Zero machine flying over them. In comparison to the first one they saw, this one was a lot smaller; literally a fraction of the size.

Immediately after it flew over them, an explosion sounded off behind the wrecked vehicle. Another booming detonation sounded off as debris and shrapnel from the destruction began raining down on the three-man group.

"NAYRU'S LOVE!!" Link shouted once again. He didn't even get the chance to do one pose.

The conglomeration of twisted metal took advantage of the situation and plowed right into the barrier. It was still strong enough to take the brunt of the impact and keep Mario, Luigi, and Link safe from immediate harm, but it wasn't able to stop the mass from moving. It threatened to crush them if they didn't do something about it.

"NAYRU'S LOVE!!" Link screamed to keep the barrier from fading away.

The barrier was noticeably weaker than before. Not only did that feeling of safety vanish completely, but even the blue aura wasn't as prominent as it was before. It was fading in and out of view and becoming very wispy.

Seeing this and not knowing what else to do, Mario jumped forward and pushed against where the barrier met the metal, in an attempt to stop the wreckage from crushing them. Desperate for a way to stay alive, Link and Luigi joined Mario's struggle and put all their strength into keeping the wreckage back. Amazingly, it seemed to be working. The remaining strength of Nayru's Love, along with their powerful determination to keep living, seemed to be enough.

They kept up the resistance for a minute more as the explosions continued and debris and shrapnel continued to rain down on the protective diamond. Gradually, though, they noticed the deafening booms were quieting down and the shrapnel would bounce off the barrier less frequently. And then, all was silent...

"Is it over?" Luigi wondered, reluctant to take his hands away from the crashed machine in front of him just in case.

Mario cautiously took his hands away from the wreckage and stared at it for a second. Nayru's Love finally faded out of view, but luckily for the trio, nothing happened after that.

"It's over." Mario let out a sigh of relief. Luigi and Link also let out a relieved breath.

"Well, time to check the damage report." Link said as he began to climb on top of the crashed vehicle with the Mario brothers following closely behind.

What they saw netted a collective gasp of shock. It was wall-to-wall devastation. The combination of the size of the first vehicle and the narrow road created a serious and unavoidable bottleneck. Every single F-Zero machine caught in the crash was mangled beyond recognition. Although they hoped for it, the trio couldn't imagine how _anyone _could survive that.

"Okay." Link started with a nod. "We _really _need to get the hell outta here before people start drawin' a connection between us and this relentless murkantalism. We can't take the wrap for this."

"Well, technically, _we _won't. You kinda caused this whole thing by yourself." Luigi pointed out.

"Are you kiddin' me? I did what I did to keep us alive, man!" Link shot back. "Weren't you the one who said you'd be the laughin' stock of Heaven if you ended up back there so soon? You wanted to stay alive just as much as I did, so you're just as responsible for this as I am! Shit, if I knew you were kiddin', I woulda just sat back and let us all get killed!"

"Link, calm down and stop arguing." Mario said. "The important thing is that we're alive. Now we need to figure out what we're going to do next."

"I know _exactly _what we're gonna do next: run like hell!" Link exclaimed.

"We can't..." Luigi muttered after he turned around to look for a path to run down.

A crowd of people were standing there, staring at the out-of-place trio. The group had to be nearly thirty-people deep. It was as if they appeared out of nowhere. Mario, Luigi, and Link knew they could only be the owners of the former F-Zero machines behind them. And needless to say, they didn't look happy. Some racers were talking amongst themselves while others were looking at Link, Mario, and Luigi. Quite possibly with cruel intentions...

"We're gonna get jumped now, aren't we?" Link inquired, already fearing the answer.

"It depends..." One of the racers stepped forward. "We'll consider sparing you if there's a logical explanation."

"Well, it all depends on what you think is logical, ummm..." Luigi said, winding his wrist as if he was looking for a way to close his sentence.

"Tanaka. John Tanaka." He replied, feeling that was what Luigi was looking for.

"Lemme ask you somethin', Tanaka. Do you believe in magic?" Link asked.

Not only Mario and Luigi glanced at each other unsurely in response to Link's strange question, but a bunch of other F-Zero racers found themselves in slight disbelief as a cumulation of voices began murmuring amongst themselves.

"I do!" Another racer stepped forward. What was startling about this racer was the fact that he was a living skeleton. "Black magic is the reason I'm still able to race! In fact, it's the reason I'm still alive! ...sort of. Call me 'The Skull'."

"Alrighty, proof that it exists. This should be easy." Link nodded to himself. "We ended up here becauseof magic, and magic helped us survive landin' in the middle of an F-Zero Grand Prix."

"If what you say is true, then magic also destroyed our machines." Tanaka said.

"Nah, magic only destroyed _one _machine. All the other ones crashed into the one we murked. By accident!" Link quickly added. "We didn't come through here with the intention of effin' up your race! Really, man. We're sorry."

"But 'sorry' isn't going to fix my Fat Shark, now, is it?" Another racer brashly spat, pushing his way past the racers in front of him.

"He does have a point, though, Don. If I somehow ended up in the middle of a Grand Prix, my first and foremost objective would be to figure out a way to survive. They couldn't have known they'd cause so much destruction." Tanaka reasoned. "And what's more, if you had adhered to the F-Zero regulations, this wouldn't have happened."

"What the hell do the regulations have to do with random idiots on the road in the middle of a Grand Prix? We all know the Fat Shark would've plowed right through them!" Don argued. "No one would've even cared!"

"Would you think with your mind, for once, and not with the fat in your brain, Genie?" The Skull pleaded, sounding thoroughly annoyed by Don Genie's stubbornness. "Ever since the last F-Zero convention, we've been telling you to get that oversized contraption off the road. That is exactly the reason why." The Skull pointed a boney finger at the scrap-yard in front of them. "In all my days of racing, _including _the F-Max Grand Prix from over two hundred years ago, I've never seen anything this bad. Do you realize Captain Falcon is the only one who still has his vehicle intact?"

"Actually..." Luigi spoke up. "There was a racer who managed to jump over everything before it got too bad. The machine was a lot smaller than all the other ones I've seen before."

"Hmm, so the little runt _did_ make it..." One racer said to himself, contently stroking his chin.

"Daigoroh's the only other one that made it?!" Another racer heard gasped incredulously after hearing this possibility.

"What'd you expect, Guster? A thirty-car pile up isn't going to stop the son of Samurai Goroh!" He exclaimed with a determined fist held up. "If it wasn't me to stop Falcon's winning streak, it'd be Daigoroh."

"I'll admit that I'm impressed he avoided the crash, but I seriously doubt he could catch up to Falcon." Antonio Guster thought otherwise. "I'm sure the last time _any _of us saw him was near the end of the second lap. And the finish line isn't too far from here."

"Well, I'm sure they've finished the race by now. We should all head to the winner's circle; if not to see who won the race, then to _at least _let all our sponsors and fans know we're all alright." Tanaka suggested. "Oh, and just a word of warning, Don Genie..." He grabbed Genie's shoulder to make sure he had his attention. There wasn't any eye contact, as Don kept his back turned, but Tanaka knew he was listening. "Even though this pileup occurred through special circumstances, don't believe for one second that you will get away with this. You've been told time and time again that your vehicle violated F-Zero regulations and you still ignored them. I don't know who you bribed into overlooking your offenses, but expect not only yourself, but them as well, to pay dearly for what happened today."

Without breathing a word, Don Genie shrugged Tanaka's hand off and walked off with an angry growl, dusting off his shoulder where Tanaka's hand once rested.

"Definitely an asshole, huh?" Link stood next to Tanaka.

"He's a troublesome character." Tanaka verified, though less vulgarly. "Hopefully this incident teaches him a lesson, although I seriously doubt it. He has a wallet as big as he is. I wish people weren't so easily swayed by his financial power..."

"You said Falcon's at the winner's circle, right?" Mario spoke up. "We need to talk to him. How do we get there?"

"Teleportation." Tanaka answered, holding up some type of device in his right hand. "In case you're wondering, it's the same way we were all able to escape that crash. All official F-Zero racers are equipped with an emergency escape teleporter that activates the second a vehicle ends up off course or in a fatal collision."

"I _was _wondering that..." Luigi admitted.

"Alright. Let's go to that winner's circle." Link encouraged.

With the push of a button, Tanaka, Link, and the Mario brothers were replaced with static outlines of themselves. Then, they just vanished from the spot and instantaneously arrived at the winner's circle. When they got there, there was a tremendous commotion. It sounded like a mix between fanatic cheers and hate-filled boos. In the middle of it all, there were three platforms of three different heights. The lowest platform was completely empty. On the second highest platform stood Captain Falcon and his car, the Blue Falcon, which was looking pretty thrashed. On the highest platform stood none other than Daigoroh and the Silver Rat.

"This... This is shocking..." Tanaka felt his heart skip a beat as he looked on.

"Wow... I almost don't want to believe it..." Mario said.

"What's goin' on? That kid looks pretty happy up there." Link observed.

"That's the winner's circle over there. The lowest platform is third place. Since no one crossed the finish line third, there's no third-place award. The middle platform is for second place and the highest one is first." Tanaka explained.

"Oh snap!" Link gasped in shock. "So you're sayin'..."

"That's right. Daigoroh defeated Captain Falcon and ended his five-race winning streak!" Tanaka exclaimed with a satisfied nod. "This is an _excellent_ change of pace! The race before Falcon began his winning streak, Blood Falcon won. The race before that, Phoenix won. It was really boring when all these Falcon look-alikes were emerging victorious. And Falcon's arrogance _was _becoming unbearable..."

"Man... Falcon was beaten by a kid. That can't feel good to know, especially when you're as cocky as he is." Luigi said. "I say we go up to him and throw it in his face until he cries. Who's with me?" He suggested, raising a hand.

"We'll do it after we ask him if there's anyway for us to get to Hyrule." Mario said. "He's a bounty hunter, so he hadto have at least passed by or something. Besides, this is like the future! There should be a way to get there from here."

"Why ask Falcon? Tanaka probably knows as well as he does." Luigi suggested, turning to Tanaka.

"Sorry, but you're better off asking Falcon. This is the first time I've ever heard of 'Hyrule'." Tanaka said. "I'm going to go see what Daigoroh has to say about his victory. Good luck with your conversation with Falcon."

"Thanks, Tanaka." The trio said as he walked towards the group surrounding Daigoroh and his father, who shoved and bullied his way into the center to share his son's victory.

Mario and crew made their way over to where Falcon was. When they got there, they saw Falcon about to be interviewed.

"This should be pretty funny. Remember when Falcon would lose in the tournaments and he'd think of all types of crazy excuses to explain why he lost?" Luigi said. "That used to always make me laugh. I almost miss that."

"I always thought it was really annoying. It can't be that hard to admit you lost." Mario said.

"They're startin' up." Link pointed to Falcon and his interviewer.

"We're here with the runner-up in today's race: Captain Douglas Jay Falcon, who was previously on a five-race winning streak. If you don't mind, would you care to share your thoughts?" Mr. Zero, F-Zero's official interviewer, asked.

"Well, what can I say? The better man won the race. Or in this case, the better boy. I'm not too upset, though. I let my guard down because I hadn't seen any of the other racers since the second lap. Around that time, victory is usually guaranteed." Falcon explained with a small laugh.

"I would think so, too." Mr. Zero laughed as well. "What do you think about Daigoroh as a racer? Where do you see him in ten years?"

"If Daigoroh shows the same determination in every race as he did today, then he may become best racer out there. Hell, he might even become more popular than me!" Falcon light-heartedly joked.

"Heh, maybe... Today was a historical event: Daigoroh is the youngest racer to win an F-Zero Grand Prix. This is especially impressive because he won it here in Big Blue: Ordeal. Some of our veterans still can't make it past the first lap! This race will also have a permanent spot in the books because of the huge pileup during the final lap. What are your thoughts on that?" Mr. Zero inquired.

"Wow... I didn't know about that." Falcon said, raising his eyebrows in surprise under his mask. "I guess these things happen. F-Zero is one of the most dangerous races in the Universe, after all. From the looks of things, it seems like everyone came out alright. I'm glad we got that huge boost in the F-Zero budget to up the safety precautions."

"So am I. It would've been a tragedy to lose any of our racers. Anything else you'd like to say before I interview the champion?" Mr. Zero asked.

"Give the champ my congrats, alright?" Falcon requested, giving Mr. Zero a pat on the shoulder.

"I will, Cap-i-tan." Mr. Zero promised with an enthusiastic nod.

With a nod of his own, Falcon walked away from the crowd and headed to the front entrance of the building where the winner's circle was held. Mario, Luigi, and Link watched him walk off almost in disbelief.

"That's _not _Falcon!" Luigi exclaimed. "He was _way_ too calm in that interview! And there wasn't even _one _blasphemously cocky statement!"

"Maybe he finally grew up." Mario thought.

"Yo, just because you're cocky doesn't mean you're a damn kid!" Link exclaimed, becoming overly passionate since he was known to be cocky as well. "I mean, look at me. I'm the man!"

Mario just stared at Link momentarily with an unblinking gaze. "Like I said, Link..." He spoke once again. "Maybe he finally figured out he doesn't need to be so cocky to get his point across. Actions scream whereas words only whisper."

"Hey, we're both cocky because we earned the right to be! We're not just talkin' garbage! You _know_ we're nice!" Link argued.

"Why don't we just find out from Falcon, himself? We should catch up to him before he teleports somewhere." Luigi suggested.

Just as Luigi unknowingly predicted, Falcon stopped at the complex's teleportation station. Just as he was about to step into one of the pods...

"Captain Falcon!" A voice hollered. "You know, it's almost ironic how you always boasted about how unbeatable you were when we were all in the Smash tournaments... _Almost_ because, even then, you still lost."

The voice was very familiar to Falcon. He didn't leave himself in suspense; he immediately spun around to catch Luigi, Link, and Mario walking toward him. He couldn't believe it. They were the _last _people he expected to see. Unfortunately, he wasn't in the mood for reminiscing with old friends. Instead of a warm greeting...

"What the hell are you guys doing here? I'm not in the mood to take any crap from anyone." Falcon sorely stated.

"Damn... Not even a 'whaddup, my peeps'... Losin' has you feelin' _that _bad, Falcon?" Link wondered.

"I didn't lose! I just got lazy." Falcon corrected. "The last time I saw any of the other racers was the second lap and there were less than fifty kilometers left before I crossed the finish line. Everyone in Big Blue knows I should've won! This doesn't count as a loss, trust me."

"Still as cocky as ever, huh? I knew that interview was just a face you put on for the public." Mario shook his head disappointedly.

"This isn't cockiness!" Falcon exclaimed. "That race was mine! Daigoroh should've been disqualified! He blind-sided me into the barrier and took away all my boosting power! Never mind the whole 'almost killing me' factor! What he did was cheap and dishonorable, just like his father! A chip off the ol' damn block! Both of them know they'll never be able to top my skills, so they'll try their damnedest to take me out permanently! Bastards..."

"You're unbelievably stubborn, Falcon. Your interview made me think things would be different this time." A voice said. "We both know the way they race is completely legal."

A man was walking toward the Smash tournament participants. He wore black sunglasses and sported a green shirt under his short, cream-colored jacket along with a red bib tied around his neck. His hairstyle was the most noticeable: it was done in such a way that it looked like fox ears.

"I'm not being stubborn, McCloud; I'm talking truth! I should've won that race! This should be my sixth win in a row!" Falcon complained.

"Just take your loss like a man, you baby. I'm pretty sure your friends over here didn't come here to hear you complain." "McCloud" said, looking at Link, Mario, and Luigi. "Let's change the subject by introducing ourselves."

With a sigh... "These are my Smash Brothers. The one in the red is Mario. The taller one wearing green is Luigi. The one with the sword and shield is Link." Falcon introduced. "Guys, this is James McCloud. He's the only person to ever beat me in a one-on-one race." He said, turning to his Smash Brothers.

The three turned to each other with a look of slight surprise. They knew that name...

"James McCloud?" Mario repeated, turning to James with a raised eyebrow.

"Fox McCloud's father?" Luigi asked.

"No. Wrong guy." James shook his head. "I've heard about his adventures with Star Fox, though. It's so sad how he was betrayed. So damn sad..." James growled, involuntarily clenching his fist with a hint of anger growing in his voice.

"Yeah..." Falcon muttered, noticing James uncharacteristic anger. "You alright, James? You're usually pretty easy-going. I didn't know you felt so strongly about that."

"Well, we never talked about it, did we?" James angrily snapped back. The sudden outburst caught everyone off guard. James noticed this immediately. "I'm sorry... It's just that I'm the leader of a flight squad, too, and I can relate. Thinking about betrayal just pisses me off..." James explained. Falcon was surprised by James's actions. He wasn't known to be so emotionally unpredictable. "But let's get off that subject..." James quickly said. "So what brings you guys around here? Something tells me all three of you are a long way from home."

"You have no idea..." Mario sighed. "I don't even know what galaxy we're in."

"You remember Bowser and Ganondorf, right, Falcon?" Luigi said.

"Those guys were alright. We used to be drinking buddies during the easy days of the tournament. I'm still mad that Ganondorf copied all my freaking moves, though. _Then _he tried to justify it by saying he made 'em better..." Falcon remembered.

"Well, they're back to their old tricks again." Mario said. "They kidnapped Peach and Zelda, and joined forces. That's why I'm here with Link."

"Hmm... That definitely sucks." James said.

"Like you wouldn't believe..." Mario sighed.

"...and?" Link said, like he was expecting Mario to continue.

"...and... what?" Mario wondered, not exactly understanding what Link wanted.

"Are you kiddin' me?!" Link groaned, annoyed.

"What'd I say?" Mario asked, confused by Link's aggravated groan.

"That's not _exactly_ why we're here. There's so much more to it than that!" Link exclaimed. "It sounds like you wanna forget about everythin' else that happened."

"How did you come to that conclusion? I barely said anything..." Mario countered. "If anything, I just didn't want to tell these guys much because it's a _really_ long story. If what happened to us so far was written on paper, it'd be well-over a hundred pages."

"Don't worry about time; we have plenty of that. After the Grand Prix, we usually stick around to sign autographs and do interviews. I don't feel like doing any of that." Falcon shook his head.

"Probably because you lost." Luigi accurately guessed.

"For the last freaking time... I didn't lose!" Falcon insisted, turning to Luigi. "I just let my guard down. There's a difference."

"I need to hear your definition of 'lose', but later on. We're about to get into it. I'ma call this story _Super Smash Brothers Odyssey: The Greatest Story Ever Told_, with 'brothers' abbreviated b-r-o-s" Link introduced with a big smile.

"Love the title, hate the tagline. Sounds a little too cocky." James said.

"I dunno if it'll _really _be the greatest. I have some pretty incredible stories of my own that I doubt you'll ever be able to top." Falcon said. "If I ever told you 'em, you'll more than likely want to kiss the ground I walk on."

"I seriouslydoubt that." Mario begged to differ.

"Hey, can I get into the story first? You'll see why I gave it that subtitle in a minute." Link began.


	14. So Close, Yet So For: Part 2

**Act 9****: _So Close, Yet So Far_** (Part 2)

"So it all started like all stories start out: the sun was shinin', birds were singin'; it all seemed good." Link began. "On Mario's side, he got a letter from Peach sayin' she wanted him to come over to the castle for some cake."

"A letter? Who the hell sends letters any more?" Falcon wondered. "You guys ever heard of a phone?"

"Telephones are pretty new in the Mushroom Kingdom. Even though we both have one, Peach still prefers to use letters." Mario explained.

"You guys need to get with the times..." Falcon muttered.

"But anyway..." Link continued. "When Mario finally got to Peach's castle, Bowser made his presence felt, makin' it known that he kidnapped Peach _again_."

"Security is _really _lax in the Mushroom Kingdom, huh?" Falcon said. "What is this, the trillionth time?"

"We're all losin' count, man. Anyway, Mario couldn't let Bowser get away with that BS, so he set out to chase that mo-fo down, alongside Luigi." Link continued.

"He was _real _reluctant to take me along, at first. I mean _REAL _reluctant. I can't stress it enough." Luigi said. "I don't even know why. Usually when we venture together, we make a really good team. In fact, we wouldn't have ever left the Mushroom Kingdom if it wasn't for me! Wario would've annihilated you!"

"Luigi, tell me how you'd react if your enemy farted on your fireballs and caused explosions that rival napalm blasts." Mario ordered, agitated.

This only received a look of disgust from James and Falcon.

"This guy sounds like a real charmer..." James muttered.

"Yeah, so after Luigi took care of Wario, they finally took the warp-pipe Bowser escaped in. But for some reason, they ended up in the Green Hill Zone. And just to make things extra grim, Mario's bitter-ass rival, Sonic the Hedgehog, found them and decided trespassin' was a crime punishable by death." Link continued. "Mario fought the case and won, but Luigi couldn't beat it."

"Huh?" James was perplexed by what Link was saying.

"Basically I'm sayin' Luigi died in the Green Hill Zone." Link stated.

James didn't even reply. He was perplexed before, but that fact just mystified him.

"Whoa, wait, wait. Time the hell out." Falcon bewilderedly interrupted, holding up the "time out" sign with his hands. "If Luigi got killed, then how is he standing with us _and_ talking to us right now? I mean, the best we can do is delay the inevitable for maybe another century. And we have technology beyond your wildest dreams! With Luigi, I'd never even guess he was some type of zombie! What's the deal? Aren't you guys still trying to discover fire? You're eons behind us!"

"I know how you feel, Falcon. I'ma get to that part. Just relax." Link assured Falcon. "So after Luigi got murked, Mario was ready to fight Sonic to the death. He started things off with a backflip, but ended up puttin' too much into it and backflipped right back into the warp-pipe he came outta, which bought Mario to Hyrule where he found me unconscious near the Water Temple."

"Unconscious." James repeated with raised eyebrows. "What happened to you?"

"Oh yeah... I gotta tell you what _I _was doin' before me and Mario met up." Link remembered.

"I'll tell them." Mario offered. "So from what I remember, Link and Ganondorf were in Hyrule Castle, having an argument over something... I don't really remember what it was, but I do remember it being really petty."

Link was about to speak up, but only gave Mario a menacing glare.

"Ganondorf ended up taking it too far and pissed off Link to the point where he had to attack. But since Ganondorf is an unstoppable force, Link got _clobbered_ and was literally sent flying back to his home in Kokiri Forest, which is supposed to be _acres _away from Hyrule Castle." Mario said.

"So Ganondorf's a force to be reckoned with in _and _out of the Smash environment..." Falcon nodded.

"Link didn't stay home for long, though. Almost as soon as he was sent there, he left to face Ganondorf." Mario went on. "When he got out on the field, though, everything turned sinister: there was a chilling wind, there were black clouds, there was thunder and lightning..."

"There was just straight-up GRIMNESS afoot." Link emphasized.

"And Fate didn't treat Link any better when he finally met up with Ganondorf." Mario went on. "He found out that Ganondorf once again took over Hyrule by force and kidnapped Princess Zelda. And just to add in an unexpected plot-twist, Bowser showed up with Peach. They were in on this together. Link tried to save them both right then and there, but Link somehow got blown up and ended up by Hyrule's Water Temple."

"I don't just spontaneously explode." Link clarified. "I was gonna wreck their whole shit with a _SUPER_ bomb-arrow, but damn-ass Bowser disintegrated my arrow and the bomb exploded at my feet when it hit the ground. I can't even begin to tell you how much that sucks."

"So, a little while after that, I finally showed up in Hyrule. I found Link just before some weird-looking monsters were about to rip him apart." Mario said. "We both told each other what was going on, and that's when Link bought up the fact that he could save Luigi with the Song of Time."

"The Song of Time? What type of made-up, old-age B.S. is that?" Falcon thoughtlessly interrupted once again.

"Will you shut up, Falcon? You talk too much. Obviously this is all true since they're standing here right now." James shot at Falcon.

"In fact, this is as true as the fact that you were beaten by a kid in the Grand Prix." Luigi threw in.

While everyone else let out a laugh, Falcon let out a perturbed groan. "You just love bringing that up, huh, Luigi?"

Luigi just replied with a smug smile and a nod while crossing his arms.

"Aight, back to the story." Link took over. "So we planned on askin' around, but that damn-ass owl that stalks me came through knowin' the info we needed, but pretended he knew nothin', at first. I wasn't havin' that, so I had to interrogate him a little."

"More like '_torture _him a little'." Mario corrected. "You _don't_ want to know how it all ended." He said, turning to Falcon and James.

"I wish I wasn'twatching you guys then." Luigi said. "That was borderline evil, Link. Wait, no... That definitely _was _evil. Your entrance do Heaven will _definitely_ be denied when they see that on your list."

"He deserved it! You heard my whole speech after I chopped off his wing! For real, he shoulda had it way worse than that, but I'm too nice to do what I _really _wanted to do." Link said.

James and Falcon just glanced to each other.

"...are you insinuating that you did something _worse _than chopping off an owl's wing?" James wondered, almost fearing the answer.

"Like I said, James, you _DON'T _want to know." Mario repeated, slowly shaking his head.

"Enough about the godamn owl. Can I go on?" Link asked, thoroughly perturbed. "We found out there was a warp-pipe in Goron City. We got there and jumped in, but instead of ending up in the Green Hill Zone, we ended up somewhere called the Coliseum where two _obscenely_ cheap mo-fos challenged us to a borin'-ass RPG battle."

"WHAT?!!" Mario and Luigi shouted in enraged unison.

"What?" Link wondered, surprised by the Mario Bros. simultaneous outburst.

"'Boring'?! You _have_ to take that back! RPG battles are great! They involve a certain level of patience and skill; something your adventures never had." Luigi countered.

"Are you kiddin' me?! You gotta be at skill-level INFINITY to survive what I go through!" Link retorted. "_AND _you gotta have crazy patience. It's not just hack, slash, and run, man!"

"You may think so, but if you gave me a sword and a shield, _I _could've been the Hero of Time." Mario stated. Suddenly, Link's intrepid fanfare sounded off for Mario, breaking the relative silence of the teleportation station.

"WHAT?!! First of all, my fanfare plays for no one but me! Second of all, GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE, MARIO!!" Link lividly screamed, out and out offended by his statement and wildly throwing his arms out. "Rauru said it himself: I was _the only one_ who could've defeated Ganondorf and saved Hyrule!"

"Guys." James interrupted. "Cut the nonsense. You may have different ways of dealing with the opposition, but you're all heroes because people can depend on you when they need you most. That's all that should matter. Put your egos aside."

Link looked to Mario and Luigi, who were already looking at him. "...James is kinda right..." Link muttered.

"James is _very _right." Mario corrected.

"Link is right, too, you know." Falcon spoke up. "RPGs really do sound boring as hell." Falcon said. "What's it stand for anyway? Retarded... Paper... Garden?"

Everyone was silenced by Falcon's horribly conceived acronym.

"...thanks for reminding us that you're still here, Falcon." James said with a sarcastic nod. "Can we get back to your tale, Link?"

"Yeah." Link said. "Take over, Mario."

"Alright." Mario nodded. "Before we actually fought them, there was another group that came in to fight. It turns out we showed up in the middle of a tournament called the Kratos Cup. The second seed, Cloud and Squall, were supposed to take on the third seed, Sora and his two partners. We never got their names, but one was a duck and one was some sort of dog, I think."

"...can I just interrupt for a second to tell you how _retarded _that sounds?" Falcon spoke up.

"...you kind of just did that." Mario said.

"Well, at least I was right about the 'R' in RPG. Keep going so I can see if I was right about the other two letters." Falcon requested.

With a sigh, Mario continued. "They were supposed to go at it, but us being there confused them. Link tried to convince them that we were the special stipulation seed. I seriously doubt they bought it, but they included us in their match anyway. It was supposed to be a three-way match, but Cloud eliminated Sora's entire group with just one attack. Things were looking really bad for us right there. And Link was right about what he said before: they were _definitely _obscenely cheap. But we still managed to edge out in the end."

"I single-handedly murked their whole shit." Link proudly stated with a satisfied grin and nod, pointing at himself with his thumb.

"Then, just when we figuring out where to go next, this _even cheaper_ guy with the ability to summon a godamn _meteor _suddenly appeared from a bolt of lightning." Mario said. "His name was Sephiroth. And _of course _he used his ability to the fullest extent. He parted the freaking clouds so we could get a clear look at our inevitable obliteration! I really thought it was over for us, but Link used a spell called Farore's Wind which ended up teleporting us to planet Zebes."

"Zebes... Rings a bell..." James recalled.

"I think I told you we were there for the Smash tournaments..." Falcon thought. "Wait... Maybe not... Maybe I mentioned the planet when I told you about the ghost bounty. He had a huge price on his head, plus he was just a big problem. I tailed him all the way to Zebes, and then he just disappeared from my radar. That was pretty freaky. But back then, I was more pissed off than spooked. Do you know how far away Zebes is from here?" Falcon said.

"I remember that." James said. "And I keep telling you, Falcon: there's a logical explanation why he just disappeared like that. I really think someone just got to him first because we haven't heard anything about him since."

"He probably ran into the Space Pirates. Samus said they used to chill on Zebes back in the day. Those guys don't play if they find you trespassin'..." Link grimly mentioned.

"Hey, no spoilers!" Mario warned.

"Sorry..." Link apologized.

"So when we got to Zebes, we wanted to leave ASAP. That definitely wasn't where we needed to be." Mario continued. "It seemed like we caught a lucky break for once because we found a spaceship, but we soon found out there was no easy entrance. Suddenly, Samus found us and held us at gunpoint. Of course, the ship was hers. She thought we were trying to steal it."

"Samus. I remember her." Falcon nodded. "She was _so_ into me. She may not've said much, but I could just tell from the look in her eyes through those visors. She wanted me, man." He confidently said.

"Sure, Falcon. She's into you the same way I'm into Toad porn." Luigi sarcastically said.

"Luigi, you _are _into Toad porn." Mario pointed out. "Remember _Titillated Toadettes_ magazine?"

"Sh-shut up! They're... _your _magazines!" Luigi quickly shot back.

"Luigi... don't." Mario shook his head, disappointedly. "They're yours and you know it. You're almost obsessed with it! You even own all five volumes of _Toadettes__ Gone Wild _plus the special edition!" Mario said.

"I hate you so much..." Luigi murmured.

"You know... I don't mind the occasional side-story, but these interruptions are starting to get ridiculous." James muttered with an exasperated sigh.

"Sorry, sorry..." Mario apologized. "We managed to calm Samus down and she told us that her ship was shot down by Space Pirates. After Link convinced her to let us help her out with fixing her starship, we ended up in an abandoned Space Pirate base to look for materials. We were tired from all the traveling, though, so we decided to stay overnight. Early the next morning, Samus's old nemesis, Kraid, somehow got into the base and attacked her. She was _not_ ready for the battle. Kraid wouldn't have even been a threat if it wasn't for the fact that Samus was battling without her power suit. I managed to distract him a little, but Link ended up saving the day. After that episode, we found the materials we needed and fixed Samus's ship."

"We found out that the Kraid we murked in the base was a clone, so we set out to find the real Kraid." Link told, taking control of the story once again. "Samus had amazin' scannin' technology, and we used that and a piece of the clone's DNA to find out where Kraid was hiding out. But the Space Pirates somehow knew about the ship's abilities and were ready for us."

"You knew they knew about Samus's ship?" Mario wondered with a raised eyebrow.

"Not back then, but when I think about it now, they had to have known. That whole Zebes deal was probably a big-ass setup." Link suggested. "But yeah, they put _another _clone on the fuckin' _sun_ and had us flyin' straight into it. When we found out, I suggested we turn around and get the hell outta there, but the autopilot was messed up. The only other way autopilot could be overridden was if the ship was attacked. By the time we were attacked, it'd be all over."

"But you guys are here; therefore someone or something saved you." McCloud concluded.

"Yep. It was a 'someone'. A Falco Lombardi 'someone'." Link said.

"Wh-- Falco?! Of Star Fox? Falco came and saved you?! The Lylat system is nowhere near Zebes!" James excitedly asked.

"Easy there, James... You wouldn't believe me if I told you..." Link muttered. "Him and his Star Fox crew were playin' Intergalactic Hide-and-Seek. Well, not the entire Star Fox team... Fox was missing in action."

"Intergalactic Hide-and-Seek? How old are these guys? Four? Five, maybe?" Falcon disappointedly asked.

"I thought I told those guys to quit those stupid games..." James mumbled to himself.

"Huh?" Mario caught a piece of that statement, looking to James.

"What?" James wondered, catching Mario's glance.

"It sounded like you said _you_ told them to stop." Mario said. All eyes turned to James.

"No... I said those guys shouldn't be playing stupid games. They have a galaxy to defend!" James corrected.

"Oh..." Mario still had his suspicions, but decided to leave it.

"Anyway, back to the story." Link continued. "Falco knocked us out of autopilot with a few laser shots and we escaped the sun's death grip on us. Afterward, we scanned the galaxy again and found out the _real_ Kraid was actually back on Zebes the whole time. When we got back, there was a whole welcomin' committee there to meet us: a freakin' _platoon _of Flying Pirates. That was one crazy-ass battle. They completely surrounded us and tried shootin' us to death. Every time we bombed an opening, more Pirates came to replace the fallen ones. It all seemed hopeless until Slippy and Peppy finally showed up."

"They came and bombed away half of the Flying Pirate fleet." Mario said, taking over the story. "The remaining Pirates started flying into each other. Everyone thought they were retreating, but our collective luck sucks. I figured they were regrouping, and I just _had_ to be right. They regrouped into one gigantic Flying Pirate! The Star Fox team took over the fight from there and they pulled out one of their fool-proof strategies: Delta Formation."

"Delta Formation..." McCloud repeated as he couldn't help but let a wide grin spread across his face.

"Yep, that move was incredible. They made flying look so easy! It looked like they were playing a game of Chicken, and at the last minute, they buried the Pirate in Nova Bombs. It seemed like they had it won, but the Pirate jumped up and attacked them all off guard! After that, they didn't know what to do next. They wasted all their bombs in that attack, and lasers didn't seem to affect him too much. Slippy knew that all they needed was one more powerful blast from any explosive to finish it off. Samus could fuse her arm cannon with her ship's main cannon and use it just like her arm cannon, so she offered to charge up a grand Super Missile to finish off the pirate with. The only problem was that the ship was an open target while she did that." Mario said.

"The Star Fox team decided to pull another Delta Formation to fake out the monster and distract him." Link continued. "It worked like a charm until it caught Samus chargin' up that missile. It surprised Falco and his crew with homin' missiles, and flew toward us at speeds that would make a girl with a velocity fetish faint from the orgasm she'd get." Link described.

Everyone's face blushed a little after imagining what Link said. His metaphor was unnecessarily and uncomfortably pornographic.

"Link... Was that really necessary?" Luigi asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm just tryin' to make you guys understand how fast that thing was goin'." Link said. "I was ready to waste it with the secondary guns, but Samus said she'd have to charge the missile again if I started firing, so she suggested I relax. I literally took her advice took a power-nap on the spaceship floor. I don't know how it all ended, but the next thing I knew, the spaceship is doin' back-flips and I hear Peppy screamin' like crazy, sayin' we won! I knew my girl could do it."

"Your girl? Like, your girl_friend_?" Falcon asked.

"Yeah, man. That's my baby." Link affectionately confirmed.

"But isn't Zelda supposed to be your girlfriend? You two were an item back in the Melee tourney, weren't you?" Falcon remembered.

"It's a long story... You remember how Zelda could transform into her masculine alter-ego, Sheik, right?" Link said.

"Oh yeah..." Falcon remembered with a nod. "I get it now. You know, I can't blame you, man. Zelda's hella hot, but her little 'trick' definitely isn't..." He said with a grimace. "I mean, she can actually turn into a man! It wouldn't be so bad if she was just a chick with a..."

"YES IT WOULD!!" Link quickly interrupted. "It would be _really _bad, Falcon! I mean, we've never actually done _it_, but if we ever do, there won't be a huge... _thing_... poppin' out where it shouldn't. I promise there'll be none of that." Link shook his head, thoroughly disgusted. "What the hell is wrong with you, Falcon?"

"Seriously, Falcon. That would be far from alright. I didn't know you were into that sort of thing..." James said.

"I'm not! I'm just basically saying if I had to choose between a girl who turns into a guy, and a chick with an extra appendage, I'd choose the appendage-girl. She's still a girl, right? With the girl who turns into a guy, you don't really know. I mean, when you're with her, there's that knowledge that there's a _guy _in there somewhere! I dunno about you, but I only get with girls who are 100 female, despite the fact that they might have what I have." Falcon reasoned.

There was an awkward moment of silence following that statement.

"...what you just said makes _no _kind of sense, whatsoever." James simply stated.

"There are... so... _many_ things I can say right now, Falcon... but for your sake, I'm not even gonna indulge myself. I'd be going on for hours." Luigi said.

"Whatever... You guys just aren't as secure in your masculinity as I am." Falcon confidently boasted.

"Yeah, Falcon. That's exactly it. Because only someone as manly as you could run around in those blue superhero tights you wear." Mario sarcastically said. "You even have your alternate pink and white version to be proud of! You are the _epitome_ of manliness."

Right then, everyone but Falcon burst out laughing. Although he was confident about what he said before, we quickly regretted ever saying anything.

"Shut the hell up, Mario. Just shut the hell up." That was the only thing Falcon could respond with, though his bitter retort was easily drowned out by the laughter.

"Let's get back to your journey." James suggested after a few more laughs. "What happened after you beat the Pirate?"

"Falco told Peppy and Slippy to patrol the area to make sure no other Pirates came to mess with us." Mario told. "Samus, Falco, Link, and I traveled to Zebes's surface and took an extra-long elevator ride down into the Brinstar Depths."

"The Brinstar Depths... Worst. Battle stage. Ever." Falcon disappointedly sighed.

"Yep, so you could only imagine how excited we were to fight Kraid there." Mario continued. "And when we arrived, he didn't show up until a few fortnights later! Just to annoy us _even more_, he made an utterly slow entrance. We actually didn't start fighting until twenty minutes after we got there!"

"Me and Mario even had time to play Rock, Paper, Scissors! I won of course." Link triumphantly mentioned.

"B.S.! You cheated!" Mario malevolently shot back.

"Not cheated, but outsmarted." Link omnisciently corrected. "You weren't expectin' that ming, right? That's why it always wins. It's like a trump card."

"What's a 'ming'?" Luigi asked.

"A vicious stab to the Adam's Apple with these two fingers." Link explained, holding up his middle and ring finger together.

Mario suddenly surprised Link by unexpectedly jabbing him in the throat with his ring and middle fingers. Link was on the floor gagging for air as he held his throat in pain.

"I win." Mario triumphantly stated.

"_That's_ a 'ming', right?" Luigi questioned.

"Assholes..." Link choked out, still holding his throat.

"I'm getting so damn tired of these interruptions..." James grunted, annoyed. "You know what? The next person who interrupts the story will _truly _regret what I do if it happens."

"Hah! I doubt you can do anything to any of us, James. We were all mid-tier in the Melee tournament. The only thing you're good at is flying and driving." Falcon laughed, provoking James.

As if to provoke James even more, out of nowhere, the cutest kitten anyone had ever laid eyes on passed by the conversing group. It stopped right near them and very cutely meowed. James quickly snatched it by the scruff of its neck and held it out in front of him. He followed that by pulling out his trusty blaster. McCloud then pointed the blaster to the kitten's tiny little head. The kitten innocently and obliviously mewed. Even in its impending doom, it still managed to look so cute!

"Who said anything about fighting? If there are anymore unnecessary interruptions, guess where this kitten's head will end up?" James threatened, looking to where the head would end up if he pulled the trigger.

Everyone followed the imaginary path of trajectory and stopped right at Luigi, who was standing in the middle of it. Luigi nervously glanced at everyone and quietly slid out of the way.

"Now please, go on." James said, still holding the kitten, and its life, in his hands.

"Okay..." Mario cautiously said. "We finally began the fight after Kraid threw the first punch. Link and I returned the first attacks from the good-guy side, but Kraid wasn't affected by us at all. In fact, he literally buried us in one hit. Those two facts convinced Samus and Falco that we should sit this match out. Link wanted to ignore them and jump back in, but we were able to talk him out of it. So from then on, I don't really know what happened because Kraid turned the stage afterward. We ended up upside-down for a good while."

"That was NOT good for my stomach..." Link queasily remembered.

"We did end up rightside-up again, eventually, and Samus and Falco were _still_ fighting Kraid. They were all looking pretty raggedy, though. Kraid was fighting with a new spirit, though, like he had something to prove. In fact, he actually managed to eat Samus and Falco! I thought they were done for..."

"But I knew better." Link took over. "I found a way to free me and Mario from that hole in the ground and decided to take on Kraid again. Mario thought I was wasting my time, though, because Kraid mentioned the lava tides would rise above not only the exits, but way above the platform we were on, too. He thought we shoulda escaped right there, but I wasn't leaving without Samus and Falco. After I sliced up his arm a little, I got brave and decided to run up his arm, and up to his head so I could bury my sword in his dome. But _of course _it couldn't be that easy. Kraid's skull is so hard; the blade broke apart when I stabbed him! And that was my strongest sword! It's supposed to be unbreakable!"

"Kraid then dipped into the lava pool to gulp up some lava to spit at Link!" Mario started again. "I didn't know what to do to save him, but I had to try something, so I jumped in front of Link at the exact moment Kraid spit out the magma and used my cape to reflect it all back in his face. It worked like a charm, but this only pissed him off even more. He breathed in massive amounts of air and prepared to spit an enormous fireball at us!"

"Goodness gracious! Great balls of fire!" Falcon unexpectedly sang out while posing with a finger in the air.

Mario, Link, and Luigi simply stared at the Captain in disbelief, blinking hard every now and then, while James nudged the kitten's head with his blaster.

"...that wasn't as funny as I thought it would be..." Falcon muttered.

"Nope." Link took over. "So... yeah... we thought we were done for, but we played it cool anyway. We literally dared him to do his worse. Just when he was about to kill us, he froze! He just stood there like a statue. While me and Mario were wonderin' what was going on, Kraid started rumblin'. And then he blew up! After we got over the shock, we saw some of Kraid's leftovers were jigglin', plus there was a foot and a hand sticking out of a few of 'em. I figured one of them was Samus, so I ran over to that blob while Mario went to check for Falco. Mario found him right away. I didn't have the same luck though. In fact, Samus found me!"

"But there were still those other hands and feet, right? So who did you end up saving?" Falcon questioned.

"This will seem like I pulled this part out my ass. I still have no idea why they were there..." Link started. "I ended up pulling Ganondorf out of the slime. Bowser rose up a second later."

"True story." Mario stated, raising his right hand in the air as a gesture of honesty.

"Bowser and Ganondorf in the Brinstar Depths... That just doesn't make any sense." Falcon said, shaking his head.

"Me and Mario were so shocked by their presence, we couldn't talk." Link continued. "The same went for them. I _know_ they didn't expect to see us 'til _much_ later. We just spent years grillin' each other until I saw Ganondorf's hand glowin' purple. That's always a bad omen, so I decided it was time to get the Master Sword ready."

"But before we could even throw a punch, we noticed the lava was rising." Mario said. "The lava tides were starting. Bowser and Ganondorf unexpectedly jumped off the side of the field. We rushed over there and were just in time to see them fall into a wormhole that probably led back to Hyrule. It disappeared as soon as Bowser passed through. The rest of us were trying to think our way out of that impossible situation. That's when Link started laughing manically. Remember Farore's Wind? He actually took the initiative for once and prepared an escape route, just in case some unbelievable crap happened. We escaped just before the platform we were standing on smashed into the ceiling. When we got out, I was literally kissing the ground."

"Since me and Mario were done helpin' out Samus, we decided to get back on our original quest to save Luigi. Falco wanted to know what was goin' on with him, and we were about to tell him. In fact, we were two seconds away from gettin' them to come with us. They woulda been right here with us if the God of Grimity gave us a break." Link foretold. "Instead, Slippy called up Falco on his receiver, tellin' him that a gigantic space dragon, or something, attacked them while we were underground. Samus knew exactly who it was: another arch-nemesis of hers, Ridley. I was ready to help her finish off Ridley, but she wanted me to get back to my quest. Mario agreed with her, so that was that. Falco went back to the Great Fox along with Slippy and Peppy to prepare for battle while Samus took us to the Green Hill Zone. After she dropped us off, she went to join the Star Fox team in their preparations."

"So they're still out there, getting ready to fight Ridley?" James asked.

"Yep. And I'm guessing Fox is _still_ missing." Mario said. "I don't know much about Ridley, but Samus said he's incredibly dangerous. I think Fox would help out a lot."

"I'm sure they won't try anything without him. He's the leader of the squad, after all." James reminded everyone.

"But they have Samus with them." Luigi pointed out. "She knows all about Ridley and his weaknesses, so they really don't have to wait for Fox."

"But they were attacked in space, right? They're not gonna find Ridley on a planet somewhere." Falcon argued. "They're gonna find him flying around, and they _will_ engage in some extreme aerial combat as soon as they see him. From the way you described that space fight earlier, it sounds like Samus isn't as good in the air as she is on the ground. And sorry if it sounds like I'm doubting these guys, but Star Fox sounds like crap without their leader. That super Flying Pirate gave them a lot of trouble, so imagine this Ridley-guy. They should really wait for Fox."

"Falco looked like the unofficial leader, though, and with Samus around, he might decide that they're good to go. I don't think they're gonna wait for Fox..." Link countered, shaking his head.

"James, are you alright?" Mario asked, noticing James's troubled expression.

"Yeah, I'm fine..." James murmured, failing to hide his worried tone. "How much of the story is left?" He wondered, finally releasing the kitten from his clutches.

"Not a lot..." Mario said. "We got to Green Hill Zone and saved Luigi by going back in time and traveling to the moment before he was killed. But of course, not before we screwed it up a million times!"

"You traveled through time to save Luigi? With what? You need some amazing technology to do that." Falcon said.

"Or the Ocarina of Time!" Link announced, whipping out the blue ocarina from nowhere. "You play the Song of Time on the Ocarina of Time."

"Not that crap again... So _that's _how you did it? You traveled through time by playing songs on a flute?" Falcon asked, completely astounded by Link's means of time travel.

"Luigi _is_ standin' here with us, right? That's because I went back in time and saved his ass usin' this." Link said, looking at his ocarina. "And it's called an ocarina, man..."

"There are cops around here that actually arrest people for messing around with time like that." James warned. "We actually know one of those cops: his name is Phoenix. He looks a Captain Falcon from the future. Just be on the lookout for him. He probably already knows what you guys did."

"Phoenix doesn't look like me at all! Why the hell does everyone say that?" Falcon whined.

"Face it, Falcon. If you two were born around the same time, you guys would probably be brothers. I wouldn't be surprised if he was a descendant from your bloodline." James said.

"Continuing with the story..." Mario said. "Sonic was still in his super-form and he was ready to fondle our lives the wrong way. That's when Luigi took out Mushroom Kingdom's ultimate weapon: the Starman. Luigi went invincible and obliterated Sonic from history."

"And that's what I call 'irony'!" Luigi quickly intervened.

"Yep, the definition can't get any clearer than that." Mario agreed. "After Luigi killed Sonic, he pulled out a warp whistle, and bought us to a warp-pipe dimension where billions of warp-pipes were. We didn't intentionally decide on coming here, though. Link chose a pipe at random and jumped in. Luigi and I had no choice but to follow him. We ended up here and caused the humongous pileup everyone was talking about not even five minutes after we got here! And that just about brings us to where we are now."

"Jeez... You guys have been through it all. And it still isn't over..." Falcon muttered. "Well, look at it this way: after it's all over, find a good director and this will make one hell of a movie!"

"That's a pretty cool idea!" Luigi approved. "This would be the greatest movie ever! Think of the money! The respect! The Toadettes!"

"Not the Toadettes..." Mario groaned, shaking his head.

"I have to use the little cub's room. The bathroom; for those who don't know. I'll be right back." James quickly said and walked off.

"The little cub's room?" Falcon repeated, confused. "What the hell is up with James? He's been acting weird ever since he showed up!"

"I wouldn't know. I just met the guy today." Luigi said.

"Have you guys noticed how James was especially attentive to our story whenever Star Fox was mentioned?" Mario pointed out.

"Yeah, I caught that too." Link agreed. "But that just could be because he's also a leader of a flight squad. I guess he strongly relates to everythin'."

"But _that_ strongly? You didn't catch everything he said during our tale." Mario paused for a second. "It might sound crazy... but I think James is Fox in disguise."

"No way!" Falcon disagreed. "I know James like the back of my hand! I think I'd know if he was replaced by Fox."

"I guess there's only one way to find out..." Mario said.

A few minutes later, James returned from "the little cub's room". Compared to the last time he was seen, he looked considerably better.

"And that's how I spell relief! What's going on, guys?" James asked.

"Nothin' really. We're still thinkin' about Samus and Star Fox." Link answered.

"Eh, don't worry about them. I know everything will turn out alright." James confidently assured.

"You sure about that?" Mario questioned. "You were looking pretty worried before. Why the sudden change of heart?"

"It's just a strong hunch I have. And my hunches are usually pretty spot-on. Don't worry about them." James said.

"Alright, Fox..." Link said.

"...Fox?" James asked.

"I mean James. My bad." Link apologized.

"How can you mix up 'Fox' and 'James'? They don't even sound alike." James pointed out, almost stunned by Link's error.

"It's not a matter of the names sounding alike. We were actually just talking about how much you two have in common, and that's probably still on his mind. I mean, your name is James McCloud, and his father's name was James McCloud. You're the leader of a flight squad, and so is he. You're amazingly worried about the Star Fox team, and if he were here, he would be as worried as you are. Maybe even more..." Mario explained, drawing out the similarities flawlessly.

"If Falcon didn't keep telling us that you were really James McCloud, I'd say you were Fox in disguise." Luigi said.

"So we have a lot in common. Either way, I can't be Fox. Fox is an anthropomorphic fox, and I'm a normal human. How exactly would the disguise work out?" James easily countered.

"Did you forget where we are?" Falcon asked. "This is Big Blue! This planet was once a gigantic pool of water. Our technology made it possible for people to live here. Then technology amazed everyone again by creating an F-Zero track for us! Making a disguise for one species to make it look like another would be insulting to today's technological capabilities. It would be too easy!"

"Well, it's still uncommon. What kind of person would do that?" James shot back.

"If you say so." Falcon sighed. "I'm just going to drop the subject. I wouldn't want to risk losing one of my best friends over something so stupid. You know... in my line of business, you don't make too many friends. I probably make a new enemy every time I go to catch a bounty. You're one of the few friends I have, and it's like you always say..." Falcon paused, waiting for James to complete his sentence.

"Ummm..." James hesitated, fishing for something he would usually say at a time like this. "Keep you friends close, and your enemies closer."

"Ummm... WRONG!!" Falcon shouted out. "You always say 'a friendship is a treasure that will last a lifetime'. Or at least, James always said that. That must be your phrase, Fox."

"Busted..." Mario, Link, and Luigi mumbled simultaneously.

James let out a defeated sigh and turned his back to the crew, with his head hanging in shame. He reached for what seemed to be a long, silver wrist-guard on his arm, which was actually some sort of device with a green and a red button: one which said "activate" and one that said "deactivate", respectively. With the push of the red button, all of his human characteristics were replaced by animal traits; a fox's traits in particular. First, his skin began growing a thick coat of fur. He also shrunk down a few inches in height. On his face, his nose began to grow out and developed into a snout: its muzzle was creamy white and his nose was black. Under his sunglasses, James's eyes grew bigger and glassier. His ears also traveled to the top of his head and began to grow bigger and pointier, replacing his fox-ear hairstyle with actual fox ears. A long, bushy fox tail was also fully noticeable from behind. Suddenly, Fox's victory theme rang out, startling everyone.

"Sorry about that. My music always plays whenever I turn back into my normal self." The newly transformed Fox said.

"So you've done this before?" Link asked, still amazed by the transformation he witnessed.

"Yeah, I do this pretty often. I guess it's my turn to tell you a story." Fox said, getting ready to tell a tale of his own. "And no interruptions, Falcon!" He quickly added, glaring at Falcon.

"You won't get any. I'm too astounded to speak right now..." Falcon shrugged.

"So of course, all of you are asking yourselves, 'where did Fox come from, and what happened to the real James McCloud?'." Fox began. "Well, it all goes back to when Peppy and my father were betrayed by that lying, traitor, son-of-a-bitch, piece of poison swine, Pigma Dengar."

"There's a lot of negative sentiments there, huh?" Luigi questioned.

"Where's that kitten?" Fox said, taking out his blaster and looking about.

"Sorry, I was just saying..." Luigi apologized.

"Anyway, Pigma betrayed Star Fox and turned them over to Andross." Fox continued. "Peppy escaped, but my father wasn't so lucky. He told me my father was killed, but I don't believe that. About seven years ago, I fought Andross on Venom. When I defeated him, he tried to kill me by trapping me in his base and setting it to self-destruct. I thought it was all over, but my father came to save me! He guided me out of the exploding base and to the surface. When it was safe, I searched for him, but he was gone...

"One day, on one of our other missions on another planet, I heard a bunch of people talking about a guy named James McCloud. I got excited because I thought he was there. The people led me to a race track. They pointed out a car called the Little Wyvern. It looked so much like an Arwing, so I was beyond sure that it was him. The Wyvern actually won that race, so I headed down to the winner's circle to meet up with my father. You could only imagine how disappointed I was when I found out it was just a big coincidence. A man who was also known as James McCloud was the driver of the Little Wyvern. But it still freaked me out: not only did his car look like an Arwing, but he looked exactly like my father would if he was a human.

"James saw the look in my eyes and wanted to know what was going on. I told him everything. Saying he was astounded by the fact that he had a look-alike out there that was a completely different species is an understatement. I don't know why, but James had a lot of pity for me. Of course, I didn't want it. I don't like being felt sorry for. I couldn't stop him, though. He felt bad that all my hopes were built up just to be let down by an imposter. I _was _disappointed, but it wasn't his fault. The name was given to him. What could he do about it? But James felt so strongly about it that he suggested that I race as him. He said I could make my father's name better in the world of F-Zero than he could. I told him exactly what I just said to you, and he said he understood that, but he would feel better if I was out there glorifying my father's name instead of him. So he gave me this." Fox said, pointing at the wrist-guard that allowed him to turn back into his original form. "This can actually let me turn into anyone who's DNA I can get a sample of. He plucked out a strand of his hair and told me to transform into him, so I could race as him."

"That has to be illegal." Mario assumed.

"It is. In fact, it's so illegal that James can be banned from F-Zero forever if anyone found this out and reported it." Fox explained. "When I heard about this, I went back to James and told him how I felt. I didn't want to get him banned from F-Zero! He still felt really strongly about me having the rights to my father's name. Ever since I told him about my father's heroism, he doesn't feel right about having the same name as him. He even thought about changing it! Of course I told him that's alright. My father wouldn't want that." Fox then sighed after telling his story. "So here I am now, posing as James McCloud, the F-Zero racer, and fooling millions of people."

"Does James still race?" Link asked.

"Only when I'm on important missions." Fox said. "James actually likes it like this. He has more time to spend with his family and focus on his flight squad: Galaxy Dogs. I'm a natural at racing, so I win pretty often. I split the money with James, so he usually puts it back into his squad. He's so unbelievably grateful for all that. You should've seen the look on his face the first time I did it. Hell, you should've seen the look on his face the first time I won a Grand Prix! It wasn't even a week after he told me to race as him. And as far as I know, I'm the only one that beat Falcon in a one-on-one race."

"WHAT?!! That was you?!" Falcon exclaimed. "No way! I'm unstoppable on the road! You can't be as good on the ground as you are in the air!"

"Believe me; driving is a _lot_ easier than flying. When you fly, you need to worry about movement in three dimensions. When you take out that third dimension, you get smooooooth sailing. And I mean _smooth_." Fox explained.

"Hmmm..." Falcon meditated on that thought for a second.

"Well, now that you've revealed your true identity, shouldn't you go help Star Fox and Samus defeat Ridley?" Mario asked.

"I already told you: Star Fox is fine. When I went to the bathroom, I was really checking on them to see what was going on. They're not going to battle anyone yet. Slippy's actually trying to figure out a way to make Samus's ship faster and more maneuverable." Fox assured Mario.

There was a moderately long silence afterward. All the Smash Brothers companions were left to reflect on everything they heard about just a short while ago. It seemed as if they had been talking to each other for days, but in reality, it had only been a little over an hour.

"So... what now, guys?" Luigi asked.

"Oh shit, we still gotta get to Hyrule!" Link shouted, as if he suddenly remembered he was on a quest. "Falcon! _Please_ tell me you know a way to get to Hyrule from here."

"Hyrule? It's been a while since I've even thought about that place." Falcon admitted. A smirk suddenly appeared on his face as if he were struck by a brilliant idea. "But I might know one way to get back..."

"Well, let us know! We just told you what was going on, so you know how important this info is." Mario said.

"Whoa, whoa! Not so fast! You gotta earn this knowledge. You gotta prove to me that you really want this information." Falcon said. "Do you want this information? Do you really _need_ this information?"

"Did you not just hear our story? Yes, this information is _imperative_! You _have_ to tell us!" Luigi exclaimed.

"If you beat me in a race, I'll tell you everything." Falcon offered, with a big smile.

"...you can't be fuckin' serious..." Link sighed. "Falcon, seriously. You see how dire this shit is, right? We really don't have time for a race. We need to get back to Hyrule a-sap."

"You had time to tell us everything that happened to you guys from the beginning, so you know you have time for just one race." Falcon pointed out. "Think of it as me testing you. You say you wanna save your girls, but are you serious about it? For all I know, you could just be saying all this so you can get home. Peach and Zelda might not even be that important to you anymore. 'They're _always _getting kidnapped, so why not leave them where they are?' That's what you could be thinking right now. But if you race _and _beat me, that'll prove to me that you're serious about saving them. So what do you say?"

"Give us a second..." Luigi said and motioned Mario and Link to huddle together so they could talk about their latest roadblock in their quest.

"Falcon's talkin' so much bullshit, it's not even funny. That entire speech was complete crap." Link angrily stated.

"It's not out of spite or anything. I think he's trying to redeem himself from his loss earlier." Luigi said.

"What is he gonna prove by beatin' us? We don't have F-Zero machines! I mean, fuck, I still get around by horseback!" Link exclaimed.

"That's why he wants to race us. He knows he's going to win. Or at least, he _thinks_ he's gonna win." Luigi said, with a devious smile spreading across his face.

"Do I sense a plan of sabotage? I got the equipment if y'all got the balls. Fireballs, that is..." Link said with a nod and a devious smile.

"No! No sabotage! If we're going to beat Falcon, we'll beat him at his own game." Mario stated.

"I wasn't thinking of sabotage. I was thinking about the new car we were working on before this whole thing happened." Luigi said.

"You want to try that? We're not even finished with it yet..." Mario argued.

"Only the boosting system isn't complete yet, that's all. We won't even have to worry about that. We have mushrooms to substitute for that." Luigi countered.

"Oh, that makes sense... I get it. So we're definitely accepting?" Mario asked to make sure.

"We accept you challenge, Falcon." Luigi said out loud, facing Falcon.

"What about me?" Link asked, seemingly hurt by the exclusion of him from the Mario Bros. plan.

"You get to sit this one out, Link." Mario broke the news to Link. "Don't take it personally though. You know we couldn't have gotten as far as we did without you. Just think of this as your break. Let me and Luigi handle this."

"Alright." Link nodded. "But if you guys lose, I will personally kill both of you." He threatened, grabbing the Mario brothers by their shirts. Both of them gave Link a menacing glare accompanied by threatening silence. "...then I'll play the Song of Time to go back in time and stop myself..." He nervously said, releasing them from his grip.

"Yes! So who's racing?" Falcon asked.

"Mario and Luigi." Link answered.

"B.S.!" Falcon's mood quickly switched. "I wanted this to be a one-on-one race!"

"Mario and I will be in the same car! It'll still be one-on-one." Luigi reasoned.

"Uh-uh." Falcon responded, shaking his head. "Either someone evens the odds, or it's a no-go."

"You're such a baby, Falcon... I'll join the race to even it out." Fox offered.

"What?" Falcon said, surprised at Fox's decision.

"There's nothing to get confused about, Falcon. I'm racing, too." Fox said.

"Fine! Bring them all on! We'll still beat you _and_ Falcon!" Luigi confidently stated.

"Come off it! You think _you_ can beat _me_?" Falcon asked with an amused smirk gradually appearing on his face. "No way! You haven't even raced in a single F-Zero race whereas I've won five Grand Prixes in a row! What kind of chance in Hell do you have at beating me?"

"I've got six Mario Kart first-place-winning Grand Prixes under my belt. Luigi has four in a row and counting. Both of us have the most first-place finishes in the Double Dash!! tournaments and, so you know we won the most Grand Prixes also." Mario said with determination. "We're not new to the racing game. In fact, we've been working on a new car that'll redefine Mario Kart forever. You get to see that car in action today! I guarantee it'll blow your F-Zero machine away. All I have to say is bring it on, Falcon." He said, grilling a hole through Falcon's forehead. "Bring it on, Fox." Mario repeated, grilling a hole through Fox. "Bring it on."

"Did you hear that confidence? I don't even think y'all should race anymore. Mario and Luigi are gonna win without a doubt." Link stated, laying a confident hand on both brothers' shoulder.

"Trust me, we'll bring it. We'll race in the Casino Palace: Double Branches." Fox told the crew.

"Lead the way." Mario said.

Fox and Falcon led them to one of the many teleporters of the Teleportation Station. The Casino portion was packed to capacity, as usual, but the track was empty. This was about to change, as the group arrived and headed towards the rest stop of the course, which was a few meters behind the starting line.

"I just thought of something." Falcon started. "All me and Fox have to do is make the call, and our machines will be teleported here. But that's because we _live _here. You guys aren't even from this _millennium_, so how are you getting your racer here?"

"We might be a few centuries behind you guys, but we still have our ways." Mario said, pulling out a whistle of some sort and blowing into it.

"I'm surprised you bought the Lakitu Whistle, Mario." Luigi said.

"It was a 'just in case' thing." Mario said and sent out a piercing whistle echo throughout the circuit.

Within seconds, a Lakitu come floating into the Casino Palace with a huge package hanging from a fishing pole.

"Someone called? I'm here with a special delivery. And someone better claim this quick! I don't have all day. I have a life, too." The Lakitu brashly said.

"Yeah, your life is delivering packages." Mario replied. "We'll be claiming that."

"Then claim it! This thing isn't getting any lighter!" Lakitu spat out.

"Do you hear this guy?" Falcon said to no one in particular. "Hey, why don't you go back to wherever you came from and deliver us a delivery boy with less mouth, huh?" He directed to the Lakitu.

He just turned to Falcon and stared. "How can you even talk to me wearing an outfit like that? And I really hope those aren't stars over your nipples."

Link and Fox quickly covered their faces to suppress their laughter. Falcon glared at them menacingly while covering his pecs and turning his back on the situation.

Mario and Luigi finally claimed the rush-delivered package and began prying open the box. While they were hard at work, trying to get to the inside, the Lakitu annoyingly hovered above and between them. It was as if he was expecting something...

Mario purposely ignored the Lakitu, Luigi couldn't help but take notice. "Did we forget something?"

"Ummm... YES." Lakitu replied as if the answer was obvious. "Do the math, Green. I came all the way from the Mushroom Kingdom Universal Postal Service Central Building to the edge of the galaxy to deliver this to you guys. I don't do charity, and I _definitely _didn't do this for my health. I'm expecting some sort of compensation, here."

"How's this for compensation..." Mario flipped a single coin to the Lakitu.

"...that's all?" Lakitu muttered almost in disbelief.

"You want a 'thank you', too?" Mario offered.

"You gotta be joking..." Lakitu said in complete disappointment. "This is a BeanBean coin! I live in the Mushroom Kingdom, genius! BeanBean coins are worthless to me!"

"That's not my problem." Mario shrugged. "You wanted compensation and you got it. If that's not what you had in mind, you should be more specific."

"I see." Lakitu calmly nodded. "Well, then. Glad to have done business. I hope we see each other again _real soon_." And with that, he left as quickly as he appeared.

"You know how you hate Leevers, Link?" Mario questioned. After Link's nod, "I probably hate Lakitus even more."

"Hmm." Link just grunted in reply. "Well, I'm gonna get outta here so you guys can race. Where's a good hangout spot?"

"Luckily for you, Casino Palace is in Mute City, so you're in entertainment central." Fox said. "When you get outside, just walk around a bit. You should find The Rest Stop almost immediately. That's where most of the F-Zero pilots are."

"Alright, cool. Thanks." Link said and pulled out his Ocarina promptly playing Epona's song. Sure enough, Link's trusty steed, Epona, galloped to the crew and neighed.

"I can't believe what I'm seeing..." Falcon muttered, rubbing his eyes. "You _still_ get around by horseback? Did you guys even invent the wheel, yet?"

"What amazes me is that Epona is here in Mute City!" Fox exclaimed. "How the hell can that horse travel all the way from Hyrule to Mute City?!"

"The Ocarina of Time works in mysterious ways..." Link chanted in a mystifying voice while waving his arms around.

"Please stop that." Mario mumbled.

"Fine." Link put a halt to his antics. "But now do you see why I had to steal the Ocarina from myself, Mario? This thing is handy as hell! I can't imagine life without it."

"You stole the Ocarina from yourself?" Falcon questioned, finding that statement to be more absurd than the fact that Link still rode a horse to get around long distances.

"I'll tell you about it after the race, Falcon. See ya!" Link said and mounted Epona.

Epona let out a majestic neigh and rose up on her two hind legs.

"YAH!" Link shouted as he kicked Epona's sides after she landed on all fours.

Suddenly, Epona and Link bulleted off at speeds faster than anything on land should be able to travel. Mario, Luigi, Falcon, and Fox were left with their jaws on the floor. They all looked at each other in sheer astonishment.

"Okay... Why the hell didn't he volunteer to race if he could move that fast?" Mario wondered.

"It is safe to say that Epona has more acceleration than every F-Zero machine ever created. I can't even begin to imagine the top speed..." Luigi said.

"I don't care if Link's horse could move at the speed of light! He'll never beat me." Falcon confidently stated.

"Falcon... do you know how fast the speed of light is?" Fox asked. "300,000 kilometers per second. In one second, he would've gone 300,000 kilometers! You, on the other hand, can only move almost 2,000 km/h. In one _hour_, you would've gone almost 2,000 kilometers. That's in hours! In one _second_, you'd only go 33 kilometers. He'd finish any F-Zero course twelve times before you could even blink! And I _know _that's underestimate. So how could you possibly fathom saying something so stupid with a straight face?!" Fox lividly yelled, unable to bear Falcon's unreasonable cockiness.

"I never told anyone this..." Falcon started. "But I beat the Creators of the Universe in a five-lap race. If the Creators can't beat me, then who the hell can?"

"You beat the Creators of the universe..." Fox mumbled, stupefied by Falcon's claim.

"I don't know about you guys, but I declare Falcon's story bullshit of the highest caliber." Luigi proclaimed.

"This is all true!" Falcon shot back. "How can you not believe me when you guys have been through some pretty absurd adventures, yourselves? Especially you two!" He accused, pointing at the Mario brothers. "You two fight mutated over-sized turtles, and eat mushrooms and collect stars! You stories sound _so fake_, but everyone still believes you!"

"Everyone believes us because everyone has seen the evidence! Bowser alone is walking, talking proof of what we've been through." Mario argued. "You, however, have no proof of your race with the Creators. So until I see some legit proof, your story will continue to be as factual as my crazy uncle Borneo's claim that he single-handedly defeated the Spanish Inquisition."

"We have a crazy uncle named Borneo?" Luigi asked, surprised by this possible fact.

"No!" Mario shouted.

"I'm tired of talking. Actions speak louder than words, so I guess I will be beating you in a race after all." Falcon said. "I don't care if you drive on four wheels. I may not be proving anything by beating you, but I'll be proving something by beating Fox!" He said, turning to Fox.

"You couldn't beat me before, and I seriously doubt you'll beat me this time. Let's see what you got!" Fox responded.

"We still haven't unpacked our ride yet, Mario." Luigi mentioned.

"Oh yeah. Well, just do it the quick and easy way." Mario said.

The Mario brothers made their way over to the crate and simply gave it a smash headbutt to break it open. When the debris magically disappeared, a shiny red ride was left. It looked exactly like an F-Zero machine, but with the Mario brothers trademark style.

"Shake hands with the redesigned Red Fire." Mario introduced. "We kept the wheels, Falcon." He said with a taunting glare. Falcon just let out a mildly amused "heh". "We had to put a roof on the car to make it aerodynamic; the top-down approach added too much drag. There's still enough room for me and Luigi to switch drivers on the fly, though. The car also changed from red and blue to green and blue to let the other racers know who's driving."

"That's pretty cool, guys. I never would've thought you two were mechanics." Fox said.

"We know a whole lot more than just plumbing. Trust us." Luigi said.

"I'll admit, you guys have a pretty nice ride, but it's nothing compared to my new vehicle." Falcon said, hopping into his machine's cockpit.

"Heh, no Blue Falcon, huh?" Fox said.

"This race isn't that serious, so I gave it a break. This is a little custom ride I built a while back: the Sonic Grumpus-88. The body is the light framed Splash Whale, which makes it capable of turning on a dime and provides high acceleration. The cockpit, the Sonic Soldier, adds to all the basic stats of my ride. Then we get to the booster: the Raiden-88. This is one of the fastest boosters out there. Once I'm able to boost, you'll never see me again. I kept the paint blue, added some flame designs to the back, and put my trademark Falcon symbol on the front. I even put my lucky number in front: number fourteen." Falcon described.

"Very nice, Falcon." Fox complimented.

"I agree. I'm impressed, man. It's still not gonna beat the new Red Fire." Mario said.

"I feel kind of left out in this car show." Fox said. "I'm still using James's Little Wyvern. I modified it a little, but it's still the same thing."

"Don't worry about it." Luigi said. "I guess after we're done with our quest, we'll come back here and help you out with making a weekend ride for yourself."

"You're gonna need me, too." Falcon jumped in. "The Red Fire looks good, but it can be better. I'll help you out with optimizing the performance."

"This is all greatly appreciated, guys." Fox said, gratefully. "Let's get this race over with so we can get one step closer to this plan."

With that said, all four racers made their way to their respective machines. The automated announcer floated down to begin the race.

"_This is an eight-lap race in __Casino__Palace__: Double Branches. The first one to cross the finish line is the winner! Drivers, are you ready?_"

All three vehicles revved up their engines in response.

"_Three... Two... One... GO!!_"


	15. So Close, Yet So Far: Part 3

**Act 9****: _So Close, Yet So Far_** (Part 3)

She cried.

That's all Peach could do as she sat in her room, or prison as she had come to think of it.

Crying was almost all Peach had been doing ever since Bowser abruptly crashed through the roof of her room and stuffed her in a bag. The only times there weren't tears in her eyes was when she was being forced against her will to perform for Ganondorf and Bowser. Or thinking about...

_Mario..._

_I miss him so much..._

_I wonder where he is now... The last time I heard of him, he was here in Hyrule with Link. But he wasn't heading toward the castle. Can it be that he's finally had it? Is he finally tired of saving me over and over again? No... That can't be it. If he was, then he wouldn't be in Hyrule. That _must_ mean he knows where I am. But if he knows, why hasn't he come for me yet?_

_Why...?_

Tears streamed down Peach's pale cheek as she thought to herself, but not for long as she dried her eyes as best as she could and forced herself to be brave.

_I think it's time that I saved myself. I didn't make it into the Smash Brothers tournament by being helpless. But I'm so scared... I wish I had some help..._

She briefly considered talking to Zelda, but...

_I can't trust Zelda. It almost feels as if she enjoys being a captive. ...as if she wants to impress them. Why? Does she think they'll go easy on her if she cooperates? Whatever the reason is, I can't stay to find out. I have to find a way out of here._

_But what if I get caught? _

_I'm afraid of what they'll do to me... what they'll _make _me do... But I can't live in fear forever... Mario would've never been able to save me as many times as he did if he was always afraid of what Bowser had in store for him. I have to be like Mario. I have to be brave... I have to..._

Her thought process was interrupted by a rattling sound. Startled, Peach quickly looked to the door. She noticed the doorknob was turning ever-so-slowly. Her heart jumped. She knew who was coming and she knew what they were going to say. Hoping they'd leave her alone if she was asleep, she rushed under the covers of her bed and shut her eyes, feigning a deep slumber.

As soon as she was under the sheets, the door slowly creaked opened. Peach heard heavy but hesitant footsteps walking toward her bed. After a few seconds, they stopped. She lazily shifted herself and briefly opened her eyes to verify her fear. To her surprise, it was Bowser and _only_ Bowser. Nonetheless, Peach still lied in her bed, pretending to sleep.

A good while went by since Peach last opened her eyes. It had been so quiet that she actually did begin to doze off. But she forced herself to stay awake. Bowser was still in the room, and although he wasn't doing anything, she didn't trust him. His silence was very strange...

Peach risked opening her eyes just enough to see what Bowser was doing. He was sitting down in a chair near the bed, just watching her sleep.

_How long has he been sitting there? Bowser's usually more outspoken than this. This is disturbing..._

Her mind suddenly went blank as she felt Bowser's hand touch her calf through the sheet and slowly found its way up to her thigh. From there, Bowser went for her hair, putting his fingers through her golden-blonde locks. Peach was thoroughly repulsed, feverishly racking her brain for a way to get his hand off of her. Thinking of nothing better, she shifted in her "sleep" while forcing a calm but drowsy sigh. It seemed to work as Bowser quickly jerked his hand back, afraid that he had awoken Peach.

She cracked open her eyes just a bit to see what Bowser was doing then. He was half-way between her and the door but didn't look like he was ready to leave just yet. Peach never wanted anyone to leave her room as much as she did then. She hoped that if she moved again, Bowser would finally leave. Peach barely moved her arms before her hand came across a slender handle, which was hidden in her sheets.

_My frying pan..._

The trusty frying pan she bought from Moleville so long ago. The trusty frying pan that actually made her name feared in the Smash Tournament. As she tightly gripped the handle, it made her feel a little safer and a little braver. But not brave enough to act. She wanted to do nothing more than clock Bowser in the forehead and escape, but Bowser was looking right at her. She knew he wouldn't even give her time to lift the pan above her head.

But then, as if Fate, himself, wanted Peach to escape, Bowser turned his back to Peach. The back of his skull was now an open target...

Tightly clasping the handle in both hands, Peach quietly rose up on the bed, standing on the mattress so she could actually reach Bowser's head. Her muscles tensed and her adrenaline pumped as she reared her weapon back further and further, seconds away from putting every ounce of strength she had into the blow she was about to deliver.

But just as Peach was about to let loose, Bowser sighed and simply walked towards the door. Peach was left astounded, letting her arms relax behind her and sinking to her knees as she felt a wave of relief wash over her. It seemed her wish came true without her having to do anything about it.

Suddenly, before he completely passed through the doorway, Bowser turned around and glared Peach right in the eye. She was struck such terror as she sat there, still armed with her frying pan. Her heart felt like it was about to beat a way out of her chest.

"I saw what you were going to do." Bowser mumbled as if he was disappointed.

Peach could barely squeak "how" before she noticed the mirror near her bed where Bowser was once standing. He saw her reflection...

"So tell me, Princess: what were you gonna do after you knocked me out?" Bowser was very interested in her answer. "Ganondorf's castle is nowhere near as friendly as mine. He has some _real _nasty traps on the bottom floor. And I'd _love _to see how you handle making it over that gap between the castle and the mainland."

Peach suddenly remembered that Ganondorf's castle was floating over a pit of lava. She didn't consider the trouble she would have actually getting out of the castle.

"As soon as Ganondorf gets up, you're gonna get it _so bad_. Look forward to it. I know I will." Bowser gave Peach a wicked sneer as he left the room.

As Peach's heart-rate returned to normal, her fear was slowly replaced by frustration.

_I can't believe this... There's no escape. No... there _has _to be an escape. Where...?_

She scanned the room for anything that could lead to an escape. She then noticed her window. Completely opened... and just big enough for her to stand on the sill full-height. She walked to the window and peered outside. The skies were as dark and gloomy as ever, accompanied by the roaring thunder and brilliant lightning. She climbed onto the window sill and looked down. It was a looooooooooong way to the bottom, not to mention the height was dizzying. Still, she held her composure and searched for safer ground. Across the lava-filled chasm, there was more than enough land for her to land on, but the problem was getting across.

"My parasol..." Peach remembered.

One of the moves she used for the Smash Tournaments: the Peach Parasol. It saved her life countless times as it helped her make jumps across long distances she wouldn't normally be able to make. But she wondered if it would actually be useful outside of the Smash Tournaments. She knew things worked a little differently in that environment...

"I know I can do this." Peach encouraged herself as she took out her parasol and prepared for her leap of faith.

Opening her umbrella and holding it above her head, Peach jumped as far as she could and began her floating decent toward her freedom. At first, it seemed like she would make it without any problems. Her landing zone might've been a wasteland, but Peach was so happy to escape, it actually seemed inviting. Her happiness was short-lived, though, as she soon realized that the closer she got to the mainland, the higher above her it seemed. She came to the chilling realization that she was falling faster than she had hoped she would. Peach threw an arm up in hopes of somehow grabbing the edge, but no... she was too far below. She looked down. Scalding agony awaited her at the bottom... She looked up and let out a shrieking cry for help, hoping anything with ears would hear her and do so.

To her astonishment, she began to float _up_. And quickly, too. In mere seconds, she was safely above the rim of the chasm and over sound ground. After a graceful landing, she fell to her hands and knees, so happy to be alive after what she just went through.

"Thank you." She repeated again and again to the greater power that heard her cries, on the verge of tears.

"Your welcome." A voice replied.

She quickly jumped to her feet, startled by the sudden words. But upon seeing who those words belonged to, her heart sunk lower than her feet. To her unbelievable dismay, it was Ganondorf. She tried to speak, but couldn't even find her voice.

"In case you're wonderin'..." G-dorf began. "I was jus' in time to see you jump out the window." Ganondorf paused and slowly shook his head. "You're outta yo' mind, you know that?" He continued. "You went from tryin' to knock peeps out to jumpin' outta windows and shit. But you know what...?"

Ganondorf bought Peach a little closer to him. She wanted to resist, but she was so shocked and petrified that she couldn't help but bend to his will.

"...I like my girls that way. When I see or hear a girl wild out like you did, I jus' gotta let 'em know that I'm feelin' that. How should I let you know?" Ganondorf mused, moving his hand to Peach's face, and holding her cheeks between his finger and thumb. "I think a kiss says it all. What you think?"

Ganondorf closed in to plant one on her. Peach finally gained the courage to resist, but only enough to turn away. Ganondorf paused momentarily to mock her with a taunting chuckle, and then lightly pecked her on the cheek. Peach felt a sudden wave of sickness when his lips touched her cheek; a sickness that rooted deep in her stomach and could be felt in her soul.

Ganondorf then picked Peach up and carried her over his shoulder back into the castle, forming a bridge of dark energy to cross the gap. A few minutes later, they were back in her room. Ganondorf literally threw Peach onto her bed. He turned around to leave, but stopped at the doorway and turned around to glare at Peach.

A paralyzing fear consumed her...

"That was the first time anyone had the balls to try to roll up outta my crib like that. I'm even more surprised that _you_ were the first one to do it: you ain't got no balls!" Ganondorf commended. "But I'ma tell you right now: don't _ever_ try that shit again. If you slip up and end up like you did before, no one's comin' to save yo' ass." He promised with a stern look on his face.

With that, Ganondorf left the room and closed the door. She sat in her bed and let everything that had just happened sink in. Peach was then left to do the only thing she could do at that moment.

She cried.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"_This is an eight-lap race in __Casino__Palace__: Double Branches. The first one to cross the finish line is the winner! Drivers, are you ready?_"

All three vehicles revved up their engines in response.

"_Three... Two... One... GO!!!_"

As soon as the word "GO" was uttered, all three machines flew over the starting line, already achieving heart-clenching speeds. In just a few short seconds, Falcon pulled ahead of the other two racers, thanks to his ride's excellent acceleration. Comfortable with his position, he began swerving side-to-side in a rhythmic motion. It looked like he couldn't keep control of his vehicle, but Falcon knew exactly what he was doing. With this technique, his lead went from sizable to insurmountable. He was suddenly beyond the Red Fire and the Little Wyvern's sight.

"I can't believe how fast Falcon is going!" Luigi exclaimed.

"I'll admit that his machine looked fast, but I really thought that we were faster! How could he be _that _far ahead of us already?" Mario pondered.

"I'm the best there is! That's all you need to know." Falcon's voice suddenly stated, sounding like he was right next to Mario.

"Falcon?!" Mario gasped, shocked that Falcon was able to hear him even though they were so far apart.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you..." Luigi started. "After we finished with the mechanics, I got to adding the standard features every F-Zero racer has: including a live intercom, complete with a monitor so you can see who's talking to you. Look to the right of the steering wheel; it's right there. And there's an integrated camera in the steering wheel, too, so he can see you." He pointed out.

Mario looked over to where the monitor was. Sure enough, Falcon's face was in the monitor, cocky smile and all as he saluted the screen in a taunting manner. Mario could only glare back unfavorably at Falcon's image.

"Let's check up on Fox." Luigi suggested. "You see those buttons below the monitor? Press the one on the right."

With the click of a button, Fox's face replaced Falcon's on the monitor.

"Oh! This thing works sort of like a TV." Mario observed.

"Yep. I don't know how they do this officially in F-Zero, but I made this thing as easy to operate as possible." Luigi answered. "In the middle of these races, we can't be dealing with anything too complicated. Trying to stay in first is hard enough."

"Yeah, you can say that again. But aren't these things a huge distraction to begin with?" Mario asked.

"If you have A.D.D., then yes." Fox replied. "In an intense race, your adrenaline takes over. You don't even notice when someone is talking to you sometimes. Besides, there's always the 'off' switch."

"Heh, yeah." Luigi agreed.

"So, Fox." Mario began. "How exactly is Falcon going so fast?! All three of us can't boost and yet he's moving like he's had it since the beginning."

"He perfected a new technique to make acceleration-centric vehicles faster than ones that specialize in top speed." Fox explained. "It's called snaking. You saw how Falcon was swerving from side to side in his machine, right?"

"Yeah." Mario and Luigi answered.

"Well, he's basically drift-turning constantly." Fox continued. "You know how easy it is to lose control during while drifting, so it's easier to do it in a light-framed car like the Sonic Grumpus. And with all the room he has in this race compared to typical Grand Prix, it's the ultimate advantage. In fact, it's almost like a cheat..."

"Snaking... So that's why he's so confident that he'll win." Mario concluded.

With that said, they continued to race in the perilous Casino Palace: Double Branches course. In no plane of reality could this track be considered easy. Even the circuit's few straightaways were riddled with sporadically-placed jump plates that could launch a careless driver into certain doom. The course's namesake came from the sudden forks in the road. If a racer wasn't alert, they'd run a high risk of speeding right into the point where the road splits, and when you crash head-first into a wall at speeds exceeding 800 kilometers per hour, the end results are never pretty...

"So far, so good. Besides those nasty forks, this course isn't so bad." Luigi said.

"Don't get too comfortable. This is only the first lap." Mario warned.

A little while later, the Little Wyvern passed the Red Fire and proceeded over a dash plate which led to a jump plate. Fox's vehicle sped over the boost and was launched over the gap, which was dubbed Hell's Entrance by some of the F-Zero racers. Precious seconds were shaved off Fox's time and as he pulled well-ahead of the Mario brothers.

Mario decided to follow Fox's example and sped toward the dash plate preceding the jump.

"Don't even _think_ about it." Luigi quickly warned and immediately switched spots with Mario to ensure his words were heeded.

"Why?! That's was a dash plate, right? We'd still get a boost from that, at least." Mario said.

"Nope. The Red Fire's systems aren't compatible with the technology in an F-Zero dash plate, so we'd just end up killing ourselves if we took that jump." Luigi explained. "In fact, the Red Fire's not compatible with _most _of the technology on this course. The only things we can use are the jump bars and the pit area."

"At least we can recover... but then how do we win?" Mario wondered. "When we start the second lap, we won't get any boost power, and I don't know if our mushrooms will be enough to substitute."

"Well, I managed to pick as many as I could. I even got a hold of some gold ones, so I think we'll be alright." Luigi assured his brother as he crossed the starting line to begin the second lap. "Alright, let's see what a Red Mushroom can do."

Luigi tapped a button on the left handle of the steering wheel to use one of the mushrooms from the Red Fire's supply. Both brothers' heads jerked back unexpectedly as the vehicle's speed nearly doubled from a steady 830km/hr to over 1600!

"WHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAA!!!" The brothers couldn't help but scream as their boost lasted long enough for them to catch up to Fox. Once it finally ended, they gave each other a look of sheer astonishment. Slowly, a smile took over both of their faces. A victorious smile...

"We can do this! We can really do this!" Luigi laughed as he enthusiastically hit the steering wheel.

"Who needs a boosting system when you have mushrooms?!" Mario shouted, excitedly. "Use another one so we can take back second place!"

Without hesitation, Luigi powered-up the Red Fire's engine with another Red Mushroom, leaving Fox and the Little Wyvern astounded.

"EAT OUR DUST, YOU WOODLAND CREATURE WITHOUT A CAUSE!!" Luigi shouted on top of his lungs.

"Is that the best you could come up with?" Mario groaned, disappointed at Luigi's finishing insult.

"What? You didn't like that one?" Luigi wondered, surprised at Mario's disapproval. "It sounded good to me... What's worse than not having a cause?"

"If you're going to taunt someone, it has to be _good_." Mario sighed as they sped ahead in an attempt to catch up to Falcon.

Back in third place, Fox was still astonished by how fast the Red Fire suddenly became. He may have raced in plenty of F-Zero races, but he never saw a vehicle pick up so much speed in so little time.

"Fox!" A voice suddenly shouted.

Fox was so mesmerized by the speed of the Red Fire, that the sudden outburst startled him and almost caused him to steer into a wall.

"Oh crap!" Fox exclaimed as forced the wheel over and regained control of the Wyvern.

Afterwards, he looked at the monitor; the only place that voice could come from. Just as he thought, Falcon was on the screen.

"How are the brothers doing?" Falcon inquired.

"You know you really scared the hell out of me?" Fox mentioned. "They just passed me! Their car is _really_ fast! I'm pretty sure their car just topped 1900km/hr. They have a really good chance at catching up to you." Fox warned.

"Sure they do." Falcon sarcastically agreed. "I beat the Creators, remember? I'm not about to lose to a couple of plumbers."

Fox narrowed his eyes doubtfully at the screen. "You sure you weren't hocked up on some type of wonderful drug when this happened? And if you were, where can I get some?" He mockingly added.

"Shut the hell up. You don't have time to be joking around; you're in third place." Falcon reminded Fox, hoping his cheap-shot statement would put him in his place. "I can't believe they're beating you. You're gonna let some F-Zero rookies show you up in your home turf?"

"There are still seven more laps to go after this one. I know I'll see them again _way _before this race is over." Fox countered.

"I dunno about that, Fox." Falcon said. "You just said _they_ had a good chance at catching up to me. But what about you? Do _you_ have a good chance at catching up to me? If you can't reach me, then I don't think you'll ever see Mario and Luigi again. You'd need a car that specializes in something in order to contend with us, and not some run-of-the-mill hoop-ride. I mean, I specialize in acceleration. Mario looks like he does top speed. Your ride does... something... right?"

Fox answered Falcon's question with silence.

"Huh. So _you_ have that hoop-ride, huh?" Falcon said.

"Not exactly..." Fox spoke up. "Remember when I said I modified the Wyvern a little? I take it back. 'Overhauled' is the better word for it. I don't think any other F-Zero racer has a weapons system."

"You put weapons in your ride?!" Falcon gasped. "Do you know how illegal that is? If the Convention finds out about this... No, screw the Convention. If the freaking _Galactic Federation_ finds out about this, you're finished! And the Little Wyvern's not even yours! Did you even _think _about what would happen to James?"

"Relax, Captain. I didn't do anything to James' machine." Fox assured Falcon. "I modified my Arwing to double as an F-Zero racer. Just in case anything happened to me out there, James wouldn't be without his racer. Right now, it looks exactly like the Wyvern, but with the push of a button, I'll have my trusty flyer; fully-equipped with dual Hyper Lasers and enough Nova Bombs to take out a Lohengrin-class spaceship."

"I understand you trying to protect James, but why the hell would risk running around with all that?" Falcon inquired. "The only thing that would make _any_ type of sense is if you wanted to take someone out..."

There was silence on Fox's end. Falcon had to look at the screen to see if he was even paying attention. Fox seemed to be aware as he glanced at the screen momentarily, but for a second, Falcon noticed a contemplative tinge in his eye...

"Fox!" Falcon shouted, hoping his sudden outburst would snap him back to his senses.

"It does make sense. Like you said, Falcon: I'm not going to let some F-Zero rookies show me up on my own turf. This is my best race course!" Fox said very matter-of-factly. "Besides, the Mario brothers race in Grand Prixes with weapons all the time. Have you seen some of the things they use? They have bombs, too."

"Yeah, but I doubt their bombs are powerful enough to take out a space fleet!" Falcon said. "You know what? Do what you want. I'll see you at the finish line." He said and cut off the transmission.

"Hmph." Fox grunted at Falcon's disapproval of his tactics. Nonetheless, he shrugged it off and prepared for his assault on the unsuspecting Mario brother.

Up ahead, the Red Fire was halfway through the second lap. Mario reassumed his spot in the driver's seat and used a Golden Mushroom after its speed-crazy venture with the red ones. The speed boost wasn't nearly as dramatic as before, but it was enough to maintain a high speed for a longer time.

"I still can't believe that Falcon's on the third lap already..." Mario sighed after remembering his recent checkup on Falcon.

"Snaking really does seem to make all the difference..." Luigi reasoned.

Suddenly, Luigi picked up Fox speeding toward them in the rear-view camera.

"Hey, Fox is catching up to us." Luigi announced.

"Should I use another mushroom?" Mario asked before going with his gut impulse.

"We should take it easy." Luigi decided. "We're losing energy every time we boost, plus we shouldn't use all the mushrooms we have on one lap. Besides, Fox did a lot of boosting to catch up to us. He'll need to save some energy to make it to the pit area. Use a Red Mushroom when we get there."

"Alright." Mario nodded.

Luigi took another glance at the rear camera to see exactly how close Fox was. He was shocked to see that his vehicle had suddenly sprouted wings!

"Wha-- Fox's ride just grew wings!" Luigi exclaimed.

"What?" Mario said in disbelief as he checked the rear-view himself. Sure enough, Fox's car was suddenly completely different from the one he started out with. "His ride looks exactly like an Arwing! What's going on?"

Fox answered that question with a Nova Bomb.

"AAAGGGHHH!!! EVASIVE ACTION!!!" Luigi shouted and literally jumped over Mario to grab the steering wheel and veer out of the bomb's path.

The bomb just missed the Red Fire's right side and crashed into a wall, creating a huge explosion. The shockwave from the blast caused Mario and Luigi to spin out of control into another wall while Fox boosted ahead into second place. Both brothers were struck with enraged confusion by Fox's actions.

"I can't believe he just did that..." Luigi murmured as he eased the Red Fire back into control.

"Get Fox on the monitor right now!" Mario demanded.

Luigi obeyed and changed the channel to Fox. Judging by his smug expression, he was pretty content with what he just did.

"Fox! Are you out of your mind?! We could've been killed!" Mario shouted at Fox, who didn't seem to care too much about what was said.

"Don't take it personal, but I just can't lose to you guys." Fox simply replied.

"We're not taking it personal because you don't want to lose. We're taking it personal because you're shooting bombs at us!" Luigi shouted back.

"I guess it's gonna get personal, then, 'cause there are more bombs with your names on them." Fox said. "If you get in front of me, I'll do whatever I can to get you out of that position and think about the consequences later."

"You better think about the consequences _before_ you act. If you try to pull something like that again, you better not be anywhere near my vicinity after this race is over." Mario threatened.

"You don't have to be in front of me to get what you want, you know. I'll gladly help you take out Falcon, if you want. He only said you had to beat _him_ in a race. You'll still get the info you need if you get if you finish second." Fox explained.

"No thanks." Luigi said. "We'll beat Falcon our own way."

"If you say so. I guess you'll be finishing in dead last, then. See you two at the finish line." Fox said and cut the feed.

"It's just never easy with us, is it?" Mario muttered.

"You know, now that I think about it, we shouldn't be so surprised by what Fox did." Luigi said. "He refuses to lose. And the second he thinks he might, he'll start taking _drastic_ measures. Remember back in the tournaments? He found a way to KO his opponents with his Reflector! Not even Falco could figure it out!" He recounted.

"Fox always _would _do anything for a win... Everyone hated him for that..." Mario remembered. "Well, if Fox wants to play rough, then we'll play along. And _gladly_."

"But all we have are mushrooms..." Luigi said.

"That's where you're wrong, little brother. Give me the wheel for a second." Mario requested. Upon the switch, "...there's a button right above you. Press it and be amazed."

Luigi followed Mario's orders perfectly, right down to the amazement command as he let out a gasp. A small screen came down and flickered on, displaying nearly every single weapon available in any _Mario Kart_ Grand Prix. Mario simply smiled at Luigi's silent awe.

"Did... did I ever tell you that I love you?" Luigi asked as he could almost feel tears of joy well up in his eyes.

"No... And I never want you to." Mario calmly replied. "I grabbed all the weapons I could and set them up in a computer. I couldn't get the really powerful stuff, though. Those are only available if you pick the item boxes. And even then, the weapon is picked at random."

"That's alright. We have some helpful stuff from the get-go: Green _and_ Red Shells, and Fake Item Boxes. That should be all we need for Fox." Luigi confidently said.

"Just be careful. Like with the mushrooms, we have a limited supply, and they probably take away from our energy. Don't go crazy." Mario warned.

"Got it." Luigi stated as he passed the mushroom stash up front. "You stay in the driver's seat and take over the speed boosts. I'll cover the weapons. Now let's win this race!" He cheered, throwing up a fist of determination as Mario took the Red Fire over the starting line to start the third lap.

"Alright, time to send Fox a little red surprise." Luigi deviously chuckled as he chose the Red Shell from the weapons cache and fired it at Fox's Arwing.

"It's amazing how bad you are at coming up with an intimidating threat. If Fox heard, he'd probably think you were sending him an apple or something." Mario said.

"Which is why he'd be more surprised when the Red Shell hits! How could you say that was a bad threat?" Luigi explained, seemingly proud of himself.

"Ugh..." Mario groaned as he prepared to feed the engine with another Red Mushroom.

Up in second place, Fox was focusing on maintaining his position. He was ready to take out the Mario brothers as soon as they passed him. He wasn't ready for the Red Shell speeding toward him, though...

"_Incoming enemy fire._"

"Enemy fire?" Fox repeated his computer, confused by the warning.

Suddenly, the Red Shell collided directly into the back of the Arwing, causing the entire vehicle to flip out wildly.

"WHAT THE HELL?!!" Fox screamed as the flipping came to an end.

A second later, the Red Fire blazed by the Arwing at 1500km/hr, cleverly dropping several Fake Item Boxes to block Fox's path as they passed. Fox had no time to avoid any of them, crashing directly into the nearest box. He spun out, only coming to a stop when he smashed into a nearby wall. The Mario brothers' smart, though ruthless, use of their items secured their spot in second place for now.

Seething with rage, Fox channeled Mario on his monitor. "You two are the biggest damn hypocrites in the Universe! How the hell could you guys be upset that I used weapons when you had your own set all this time? I'm the one that could've been killed this time!"

"We weren't planning on using our stash, but you left us no choice. We had to fight fire with fire." Mario stated.

"That's it! This race just turned into _Road Rash_. I'm coming for you two, and I'm gunning for your heads!" Fox threatened and cut the feed.

"You heard that, Luigi? Be ready." Mario warned.

"Oh yeah, I'm ready. Ready for war." Luigi responded with iron determination.

"Hmm, that one was actually pretty good." Mario commended his younger brother. "Remind me to give you a pat on the back after this race is over."

They were on the home stretch before beginning the fourth lap. Mario had prepared a Golden Mushroom while Luigi had a set of three Green Shells, all with Fox's name on them. They were a few kilometers away from Hell's Entrance when they saw the Arwing coming from behind.

Luigi wildly fired two of the three Green Shells behind him in hopes of slowing Fox down. Mario was waiting for a hit before using the mushroom. It seemed like it was going to be a long wait, though. Fox wisely used his Hyper Lasers to destroy the incoming shells.

As they passed the jump plate, Luigi watched Fox line the Arwing up with the dash plate preceding it. Thinking fast, Luigi shot the last Green Shell into Fox's boosting path.

BULLSEYE!!

Fox smashed straight into the shell and lost complete control of his ride, barreling right into the jump pad and flew helplessly into the air. Mario and Luigi watched as the Arwing lifted off. They could immediately see that he wasn't going to make the gap this time. The nose the Arwing was pointing too high up, effectively canceling the speed boost he received from the dash plate. The last thing Mario and Luigi saw before starting the fourth lap was the Arwing disappear into the gap.

"He's gone..." Luigi murmured. "I don't know whether to be happy or sad."

"I know..." Mario agreed. "But it was either him or us. And it _definitely_ wasn't going to be us. Just follow Fox's mindset: act now, consider the consequences later."

"_Now_ you guys are getting it." A voice said. "But here's a little advice: next time you try something like that, make sure the machine you're trying to destroy doesn't double as an aircraft."

"Of course it can't be that easy..." Mario muttered as he heard Fox's voice over the intercom, completely stunned.

To the right of the Red Fire, Fox's Arwing rose from below the track and into the air directly above Mario and Luigi. Suddenly, Fox just let his Arwing drop from the sky and directly onto nose of the Red Fire. The Red Fire consequently flipped forward and crash into the ground, stalling the engine momentarily as the Arwing sped away to take second place unopposed.

"Heh... and I thought to myself: 'things are gonna get easier from here'..." Luigi said with a weak, dazed laugh.

"You're not the only one." Mario agreed, shaking his head. "This is just getting started..."


	16. So Close, Yet So Far: Part 4

**Act 9****: _So Close, Yet So Far_** (Part 4)

While Mario and Luigi were having the time of their lives trying to simply survive their first F-Zero race, Link was having the time of his life being the center of attention at the Rest Stop. He immediately became popular as soon as he pulled into the parking lot on his trusty steed, Epona. Link even met up with John Tanaka once again, quickly becoming friends. In fact, they had become so close so quickly that Tanaka offered to treat himself to anything being offered at the bar. It was the first time Link ever had any type of alcoholic beverage. Even though he was the legendary Hero of Time, he was still below the legal age to drink. No one at The Rest Stop seemed to care, though. Tanaka's logic: if you're responsible to save the world _several_ times, you're responsible enough to drink.

"Man, this stuff is grand! They never let me drink anythin' like this back in Hyrule. What do you call this?" Link asked.

"That's one of my favorites: the Mute City Sipper. It's pretty popular here." Tanaka answered as he took another swig of his drink.

"The Sipper? This thing deserves a better name than that. I'll just call it 'a damn-good drink' until someone thinks of somethin' better." Link said and took a big gulp to finish off what was left of his drink.

He soon regretted that decision. A second after he took that gulp, Link's throat immediately began to burn. He also felt the burning sensation moving down his esophagus, and spreading to his stomach, his heart, and even his cerebellum like wild fire. Link tried to overcome the agony, but he could only put his head down and cover his face as tears streamed from his eyes. He let out a pained, muffled scream as he kept his face buried in his arms. Tanaka simply sat back and laughed at Link's ordeal.

"How the hell could you be laughin' at me?! I'm dyin', man! They should call this 'Death on Ice' or somethin'!" Link's stifled shouts complained.

"Now you know why this is called the Mute City _Sipper_. It's only enjoyable when it is sipped, otherwise you'll end up looking the way you do now." Tanaka explained as he continued to laugh. Even the bartender and a few nearby F-Zero pilots were laughing at Link's rookie-drinker mistake.

"All of you can kiss my ass..." Link choked out, finally lifting his head as the pain died down. His eyes were red and dry, though somehow teary, and his nose was runny. This made the people who were giggling before fall on the floor in hysterics.

"Don't mind them, Link. All they do is sit around and drink all day. They're losers." Tanaka consoled Link, noticing the embarrassment was _really _getting to him.

"Whaddya know 'bout me, shonny?" An old man suddenly blurted out; the famous geriatric, Silver Neelsen.

"I know that you spend all the money you receive from your prize races on alcohol. The way you drink, I'm surprised you've lived as long as you have." Tanaka responded.

"Hmph. Ignorant youth... Nev'r showin' respect for there elders... I'll tell ya, back in my day..." Neelsen rambled, drunkenly rising from his chair and aimlessly stumbling off, still mumbling to himself.

"See what I mean? The prime example of a loser." Tanaka said.

"Whatever..." Link said, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "I'm just glad no one I know will ever hear about this. Especially my girl... This definitely isn't a good look for me."

"Of course the Hero of Time would have a significant other." Tanaka smiled, approvingly. "No woman would be able to resist your endless heroics. I'll bet they swoon at just the sound of your name."

Link could only laugh, with Tanaka immediately following suite.

"So who's the lucky lady? Wait, don't tell me..." Tanaka held up a hand as soon as Link was about to open his mouth. "It's Princess Zelda, isn't it?"

Link raised a surprised eyebrow. "How do you know about Zelda?"

"Falcon spoke a lot about the last Smash tournament." Tanaka replied.

"Ah, aight. Well, my man, you'd be right if you weren't so wrong." Link said with a smile. "I'm rollin' with my Samus."

"Samus? Samus Aran? The legendary bounty hunter?" Tanaka asked, making sure he heard correctly.

"The one and only. _My _one and only." Link verified affectionately.

"Well... the universe isn't so big, after all." Tanaka said. "You know, Samus works with the Galactic Federation sometimes. Whenever there's a mission we need an extra hand on, we call on her."

"She's great, right?" Link smiled.

"When it comes to helping out the Federation, then it's undeniably true. She's an invaluable asset." Tanaka agreed. "But it's impossible to talk to her! I remember just trying to have a casual conversation with her, but she was so unreasonably reluctant to speak! I swear, it's easier to win an F-Zero Grand Prix on foot than it is to find out how Samus's day was."

"She gave you _that_ much trouble? Samus isn't that bad, once you get to know her. In fact, I love her!" Link proclaimed. "I'll say it loud and proud!"

"You really are amazing, Link. You're the only person I know who actually got Samus to show some sort of emotion other than stone-cold determination. I don't even know if that would qualify for an emotion..." Tanaka shrugged. "I'm sure it took a lot to get her to warm up to you."

"You have no idea..." Link said.

"I wish I was able to pursue my love as easily as you were." Tanaka admitted with a meek voice.

"Oh, you have a girl in your sights? Let's hear it, man!" Link asked, very interested in Tanaka's answer.

"Ms. Jody Summers..." Tanaka tenderly replied. "She's the entire reason I decided to take part in the F-Zero Grand Prix. I made a silent vow to protect her from all the dangers this race brings. I don't care if I win or lose a Grand Prix. As long as she crosses that finish line unharmed, then I've won."

"Man... that's deep." Link said.

"My love for her is deep." Tanaka said. "She's the reason I have the strength to wake up in the morning and pursue life's challenges: my devotion gives me the power to do so."

"Wow..." Link sighed, just amazed by Tanaka's affection. "Then how come you two aren't together? If I said somethin' like that to _any_ woman, I don't think they'd ever leave me."

"That's my problem. I've never been able to build up the courage to tell her how I truly felt about her." Tanaka somberly admitted. "Every time I tried, it came out horribly wrong."

"It couldn't be that bad." Link said.

"Oh really?" Tanaka's eyes suddenly went wide as if Link was speaking blasphemy. "I once wrote a poem for Ms. Summers. At first, I was going to recite it with the paper in-hand, but I thought it would mean so much more to commit it to memory and recite it. Unfortunately, when the time came for me to convey my feelings, I was so nervous that my mind went completely blank, and it didn't help that she looked... so... _gorgeous_ that day. I tried hard to remember the poem as best as I could under the pressure, but I utterly failed." He groaned, hanging his head while shaking it.

"You effed up the words that badly?" Link asked, still not seeing what was so bad.

"My friend, I didn't even make it past the first verse." Tanaka continued.

"Damn... What'd you say?" Link wondered.

"I'd rather not talk about it." Tanaka simply replied.

"C'mon, man! This is just between you and me!" Link said.

"This is a piece of my past I'd rather keep buried. Preferably as deep as conceivably possible." Tanaka maintained his defiant stance.

"Please? I promise to Din, Nayru, and Farore that I won't tell anyone." Link said with a hand over his heart. "That's my word I'm givin' you, man. You can take that to the grave." Tanaka was still looking hesitant. "I'll even throw in a bonus and promise not to laugh if that's what you're afraid of."

"Link..." Tanaka was about to continue his refusal, but he had a feeling Link wouldn't quit. "...fine. I won't hold you to your promise about not laughing, but I will end you swiftly if this becomes public knowledge."

"Not even the Mario brothers will know." Link promised.

"Alright..." Tanaka took in a deep breath. "I was supposed to say: 'May I expound your beauty in pieces? Your breath is as sweet as the owner from which the fair oxygen comes from'."

"Huh." Link nodded. "I think that's a little too articulate for a love poem, but that's just how you do it, I guess. So instead of that, you said..."

Tanaka looked like he was about to cry. "Please don't make me say this."

"Say what?" Link asked, leaning in a little closer with an opened ear.

Tanaka could only hang his head shamefully. "'...may I... pound your booty into pieces? Your breasts are so sweet, they give me a huge boner and I want to come.'"

After he heard that, Link could only be completely shocked by John Tanaka's words. His eyes stayed wide and mystified as he stared at him.

"...you... actually know words like that?" Link finally uttered.

"...I know many vulgar people... from the Federation and F-Zero." Tanaka murmured.

"Oh." Link finally looked away from Tanaka.

Silence followed. Neither of them knew what to say to each other. Link had no idea Tanaka had the capacity to be so offensive. Tanaka had no idea Link would seem so offended.

Unable to take the awkwardness of the situation, Tanaka simply got up as if he was about to walk away, muttering "sorry" as he rose.

"Whoa, wait a second, Tanaka." Link called out, holding him by the shoulder.

Tanaka looked to Link, feeling shameful. Although Tanaka had a good amount of years on him, he half expected Link to give him a stern scolding. But to his astonishment, Link looked like he was holding back laughter. Once Tanaka's eyebrow raised in confusion, Link couldn't hold it back any longer. He began laughing. And laughing. And laughing... ...and laughing some more.

"You can stop laughing now..." Tanaka muttered, embarrassedly. People were beginning to stare.

"Holy Din..." Link finally said. "How could you screw up _your own poem_ so badly?" He wondered, still giggling from time to time.

"I've been asking myself that time and time again. In the end, it's just something I'll _never _understand." Tanaka bitterly replied. "I spent so many nights writing that poem; _meticulously_ choosing the perfect words to articulate my feelings. And ultimately, I ended up no better than I had started. In fact, I would have been better off if I hadn't said anything at all!"

"Hey, don't take it too hard, man." Link said, patting Tanaka's shoulder. "This is all in the past. Jody probably forgot about it by now. She'll probably laugh if you bring it up again."

"I highly doubt it..." Tanaka sighed. "This happened very recently. Three days ago recently..."

"...oh..." Link was silenced.

They spent a little while without talking, simply ordering more drinks. Link couldn't help but think about Tanaka's story and silently giggle about it, still. Suddenly, Tanaka broke the silence.

"Letting Ms. Summers know how I feel can't possibly be this hard." He said to himself, out loud. "Truthfully, Link. Is there anything you do that makes talking to women easier? How did you approach Samus? What did you do to make her love you?" Tanaka interrogated, almost sounding like he was begging Link to share some sort of secret woman-wooing technique that only he knew.

"Tanaka... take it easy." Link suggested. "I was just bein' myself, man. At first, she hated me. I'm not even gonna lie about that. She even shot me into a wall one night when I snuck into her room. But I never gave up. Persistence is the key, my man."

"She hated you and blasted you through a wall, and yet she still loves you..." Tanaka thought about these facts for a second. "There has to be something more you did. I don't see how a healthy relationship could stem from that."

"Well, I also saved her from Kraid's clone back on Zebes." Link said. "I guess there's an unwritten rule: once you save a girl from some ridiculously scary monster, they have no choice but to love you."

"I see... So what you're saying is that the only way I'll be sure to win Ms. Summers's heart is if I save her from an unspeakable abomination." Tanaka concluded.

"It worked twice for me! How can you go wrong?" Link said.

"I guess I have nothing to lose." Tanaka shrugged. "The only problem is that none of the abominations I know would dare lay a finger on her. She _does_ work for the Federation and she is far from helpless."

"Just let her spend a day in Hyrule while Ganondorf's in power. With all the monsters runnin' around, she'll turn helpless in no time." Link said.

Tanaka laughed in response. "Well, since you're with Samus now, I'm assuming you've broken up with Zelda. If you don't mind, can you tell me why you two separated? I can't imagine breaking up with royalty for no reason." He politely wondered.

"...technically... I'm still with Zelda..." Link sheepishly laughed.

"Link..." Tanaka sighed in genuine disappointment. "I may have had poor experiences with women, but even I know that keeping two women will only bring you unimaginable unhappiness in the end. And imagine if Samus found out. She _will_ destroy you..." He warned.

"Trust me; you don't have to tell me that." Link assured. "But what she don't know, won't hurt her. I live by that rule." He said with a confident nod.

Tanaka only shook his head with the most disappointed of looks.

"I was just jokin'... You're makin' me feel bad." Link admitted, almost mumbling. "The last thing I wanna do is hurt Samus. I don't wanna hurt Zelda either... Hopefully we can still be friends after this. We've been mad cool ever since we were ten!"

"Well, you'll have a hard time maintaining such a deep friendship if she finds out you've been trifling her affection." Tanaka warned. "When were you planning to break away from her?"

"I was gonna break it off after I saved her from Ganondorf." Link responded.

"Ganondorf kidnapped her?" Tanaka asked.

"Yep." Link responded. "I don't even know the motive for this one. One second, we're chillin' in Hyrule Castle. Next minute, he's talkin' some real greez! I mean, his words were freakin' _saturated _in hate. I know he wasn't jokin'. So I got mad and tried to take him out. But with one freakin' punch, he sent me flyin' over Hyrule Field! When I got back, G-dorf took over and kidnapped Zelda. Every time I think about it, I wanna punch somethin'..." He angrily said, while clenching his fist. Link then looked at Tanaka, considering a grim thought.

"Think before you act, Link." Tanaka warned, accurately reading Link's body language. "I've spent many years mastering martial arts, and I will not hesitate to show you what I've learned first-hand."

"Sorry... But you have no idea how pissed I get. When he's not bein' despicably evil, Ganondorf is mad cool! I don't get it..." Link muttered.

"There's a reason for everything. Have you considered asking him why?" Tanaka asked.

"Yeah, I asked, but he didn't say." Link muttered.

"Do you have any way of reaching him?" Tanaka wondered.

"I know his cell-phone number for some reason..." Link remembered. "But there's no way I can reach him from here. Ganondorf is back in Hyrule. Even though I have no idea where I am, I'm pretty damn sure that Hyrule definitely isn't within callin' distance."

"How many times must I tell you the future is here?" Tanaka said. "This is Mute City: the technology capital of the Universe! _All_ technology is introduced here first, and gradually branches out to even the furthest reaches of the Universe. Where do you think Ganondorf got that cell-phone?"

"That's true... He's probably the only guy in Hyrule with one. There's also that teleporter he showed me when we were cool..." Remembering that particular fact suddenly enraged Link. "Alright. How can I reach him?" Link asked.

"With this." Tanaka responded, while reaching into his pocket and pulling out a cell-phone of his own. "Normal cell-phones are only limited to calls in this solar system. Since I work for the Federation, we all need to be in contact with each other wherever we are. Therefore, my phone is capable of calling almost anywhere in the Universe! Just dial the number and you should get him."

"You're the man, Tanaka." Link said, gratefully.

With that, Link took the phone from Tanaka and dialed Ganondorf's number: 843-3845 (THE-EVIL). Link was slightly nervous; this would be the first time he had spoken with Ganondorf since they last met in the Brinstar Depths. The phone rang numerous times, but there was never an answer.

"Damnit... He won't pick up." Link muttered and cancelled the call.

"Don't give up so easily. 'Persistence is the key', remember?" Tanaka encouraged.

Link nodded and tried calling one more time. This time, the phone rang seven times before someone finally picked up. Link's face lit up as be began talking before the receiver even said "hello".

"Yo, G-dorf! This is Link. You won't believe where the fuck I am right now! But before we get into any of that, we gotta chat." Link rambled on, nervously throwing all his words through the phone.

"Link?" The voice on the opposite end softly spoke.

"Yeah..." Link unsurely responded.

Link was surprised at this voice. It didn't sound like Ganondorf at all! This voice was _much_ more soft-spoken and had an unmistakably feminine quality to it... Link's heart suddenly skipped a beat as he finally realized who he was talking to.

"Zelda?!" Link gasped, excitedly getting up from the chair he was sitting in. "What the hell are you doin' pickin' up Ganondorf's phone?! Where the hell is he?"

"Shhh... Calm down, Link." Zelda quietly requested. "Ganondorf's... sleeping right now... I just happened to walk by his phone, so I decided to pick it up." She said, almost whispering. Her voice sounded weak...

"You're not his damn secretary! You don't have to take his calls!" Link said, raising his voice. "And why do you sound so tired? What the hell are they doin' to you over there?"

Silence followed after Link's question. It lasted for almost a minute. Link tried listening closely to the background noises, as if they would give him a clue what was going on. He heard soft noises... Almost like... skin hitting skin?

Link looked at Tanaka as if he could tell him what was happening on the other end. Tanaka only raised his hand with his palm up, mouthing "what's happening". Link shrugged in response, growing more impatient with every passing silent second.

"Yo! I'm still on the phone, Zelda! Are you there?!" Link angrily demanded.

"Whew..." Zelda softly sighed as she picked up the phone. "Link? I'm sorry about that, honey..."

"Nah... Don't come to me with that 'honey' shit like it's all good. You put me on hold without even tellin' me! What the hell is goin' on over there?!" Link shouted.

"Nothing!" Zelda answered quickly. "I just thought Ganondorf was waking up, so I was frightened."

"Serves your ass right! You shouldn't even be in his room in the first place!" Link scolded. "Listen, I'm still comin' to get you, but after this is all over, we need to talk." He said, calming down and finally taking a seat.

"About what? We can speak about it now, can't we?" Zelda asked.

"Nah, we need to talk about this face-to-face. I'm probably over a million light-years away from you right now. This is too important to talk about over a long distance like this." Link explained.

Zelda's response was very vulgar, to say the least, though not because of what she said. In fact, she didn't say anything at all. It was what Link heard on her side that offended him so. As far as he could tell, that was definitely some passionate kissing he was hearing.

"...are you fuckin' kiddin' me?" Link muttered under his breath.

"What's happening, Link?" Tanaka asked as he saw Link's demeanor change.

Link only stayed silent as he waited for Zelda to start speaking again.

"...Link, are you still there?" Zelda timidly asked after a long silence.

"What do you think?" Link calmly asked. Even though he tried to sound as collected as possible, his voice still trembled with inconceivable rage. "Did you even hear the last sentence I said?"

"Of course I did!" Zelda replied, seemingly surprised Link would doubt her ability to pay attention. "You said after you rescue me, we need to speak."

"What about after that?" Link said.

A moment of silence. Zelda hesitated...

"You said you-- mmmmfff..." Zelda suddenly interrupted herself by unexpectedly moaning.

It sounded muffled, as if someone had a hand over her mouth. It was also rhythmic, as if she was moaning to the beat of a song.

"I don't believe this..." Link muttered, placing an exasperated palm on his forehead.

"Link, please tell me what's going on." Tanaka pleaded.

Link simply passed the phone to him and turned away. Tanaka hesitantly put the phone to his ear, just in time to hear Zelda's moaning grow louder and louder, faster and faster. Suddenly, it turned into a relieved scream. Tanaka ripped the phone away from his ear, turning completely red in the face as he looked at his phone distastefully. Not knowing what else to do, he passed the phone back to Link. He only heard heavy breathing on the other end, but he knew Zelda was listening.

"Zelda..." Link paused, trying his hardest to control his anger.

"..." She couldn't even speak. She knew she couldn't hide what she had been doing any longer.

"I can't believe you." Link said. "We've been friends for ten years... I did so much for you, and this is what you do for me? You get boned over the phone by Ganondorf and think I wouldn't notice?!" Link shouted, standing up once again and involuntarily tightening his grip on the phone. "What'd you think was gonna happen? I'd just sit back and listen? Maybe pull out my shit and start indulgin' myself like this is some type of fuckin' service? You must be outta your godamn mind!"

"Link, please..." Zelda started.

"'Please' what?! Why the fuck are you even talkin'? There's _nothing _you can say that'll make this forgivable!" Link interjected. "You'll never be able to understand how pissed I am at you... You're so lucky I'm so far away from you. Thank all three Goddesses for that. I can't even _think_ of you as a human right now." Link spat. "And Ganondorf... Holy shit, Ganondorf... I thought we were boys... Next time I see him, his balls are mine. Literally! My sword, his nuts! He has to learn the hard way what happens when you fuck around like that!"

"Oh, word? You wanna say that again? I think I'm goin' deaf." A heavier, more gangsta voice responded over the phone.

"Shit..." Link sunk as his anger came to an abrupt end. Link may've been seething, but he never intended for Ganondorf to hear what he said.

"Yo, I know you still there. Tell me again, what you gonna do next time you see me?" Ganondorf demanded. Even light-years away, Link could feel his power pulsing though the phone. He wouldn't be surprised if Ganondorf could send some type of power-blast through the phone to decapitate him if he spoke out of line.

"Ummm..." Link finally broke his silence. "This... isn't... Link..." He slowly uttered. "This is... Tingle!" Link exclaimed in a scratchy, high-pitched voice. "Tingle-wingle kooloo-limph pah! You better watch yourself, Mr. Ganon-meanie! Tingle's gonna recite his magic words and claim your manhood! Tee hee!"

"Word, 'Tingle'? Aight, I'll be ready for you." Ganondorf said, playing along. "By the way... if you see Link, tell him his girl enjoyed every... last... second." He taunted, spelling out the last three words.

The last thing Link heard before Ganondorf hung up was his subtle, yet soul-wrenching laughter.

* * *

Zelda could only sit on her bed while meditating on what just happened not even ten minutes ago.

She couldn't shake the last things Link said to her. Of all the things he said...

_"We've been friends for ten years_._"_

Those words kept repeating themselves in her mind. This was true, she realized. She remembered the first time she met Link. Both of them were still kids. Link had managed to evade the entire castle's security to meet her. Not only that, but Link even promised to help her expose Ganondorf, the very man she had slept with, as the dangerous threat to Hyrule he was. After they locked him away in the Sacred Realm, Zelda and Link began to grow closer as friends. And as they grew, they slowly became more than friends, though Zelda was more reluctant to grow closer to Link than Link was to Zelda. She thought about this, shedding tears as she realized that what she did was horribly wrong.

_Farore__... what have I done?_

* * *

Ganondorf took a victory lap around the top floor of his castle, shamelessly proud of what he had done. Not too long after passing his room, he found Bowser standing outside of Peach's room, looking hesitant to go in.

"Don't tell me you're afraid to go in..." Ganondorf said, shaking his head.

"Me? Scared of Princess Peach Toadstool? You're a funny guy, Ganondorf." Bowser forced a chuckle. "What? You think that little thing that happened earlier is holding me back from going in? Not the case. I was just walking around the castle, and you just-so-happened to catch me over here."

"Yeah." Ganondorf nodded. "You're scared of Peach. Don't deny it. If that mirror wasn't there, you know she woulda knocked yo' ass out and I'd have to bust out the smellin' salts to get you up."

"Whatever you say." Bowser waved him off. "Hey, I heard some funny noises coming from Zelda's room, and both of you were out of sight for a while. Putting two-and-two together makes me wonder..."

"You're wonderin' right. I was all up in there." Ganondorf said, sticking up his pinky-finger and wiggling it around. "Link even called me up! I had that girl pick up the phone while I was doin' my thing. Shit was hilarious, man. At first, my boy was all pissed off and ready to kill, but as soon as I copped the phone, he was shakin' in his boots. Link ain't got shit on me."

"Nice. You musta done some heavy-duty intimidation to get Zelda to go that far." Bowser commended Ganondorf.

"Nah... She actually hit me up." Ganondorf admitted. "She wanted me to come to her room for some shit. One thing led to another, and suddenly, she's on top of me."

"Wow... You know you just broke the first law in kidnapping, right?" Bowser said.

"Laws? What the fuck?! I didn't break shit! I kidnapped her, fair-and-square! Whatever I do to her is all good." Ganondorf argued.

"Nope. Not in this case. The Expert Kidnapper knows all." Bowser began, pointing at himself with his thumbs. "Listen up, rookie: when you kidnap a girl, everything you do to her has to be something she doesn't want done. It's all gotta be against her will. But she came to you voluntarily and you did something she _wanted_ to do. She's not kidnapped anymore. Now she's like a guest in your house. And since she still had a boyfriend, she cheated on her boyfriend." He said. "Man... you and Link used to be friends... And you did his girl while he was talking they were talking on the phone. That's just diabolical. Good job." Bowser commended with an approving nod.

"Nah, man. She's still my captive, not my guest." Ganondorf countered, almost sounding like he wasn't as proud of his latest feat.

"Please... I see the way you two look at each other. You two couldn't wait for the opportunity to be locked alone in the same room." Bowser pointed out.

"Whatever, man. Zelda is still my captive." Ganondorf concluded and walked away. "Oh, and good luck wit' Peach." He shouted out as he walked.

"Shut up!" Bowser yelled back, jerking his hand away from the doorknob.

* * *

Tanaka could only sit and watch Link drink himself stupid. He had tried several times before to stop him, but to no avail. Link couldn't stop thinking about that fatal mistake he made: deciding to call Ganondorf. In just moments, he had been betrayed by two of his best friends. He even wondered if it was even worth it to go back to Hyrule, knowing nothing was there for him.

"Link, please stop drinking." Tanaka pleaded. "Just think of it this way: you were going to break up with her anyway. There's no reason to be acting like this."

"Thur's pleny-a reesins..." Link drunkenly slurred. "I jis' loss two of my frens. I duneven know if I shud go back to git 'er. She's prolly happier with Ganodorf..."

"No..." Tanaka argued, but couldn't find the words to counter Link's statement. What just happened _was_ out and out bold.

"See? You dun hafany argumens..." Link continued in his drunken splendor. "I quit. When Mario and Lugi come back, I'm jis gonna tell 'em to leeme here... Thur's nowhere fer me t'go."

"Quite the contrary, you have a very important place to go." An unrecognized voice said to Link.

Tanaka turned around to see who it was. His heart sunk upon realization, immediately turning back around again nervously and then leaning over to Link.

"Link..." He whispered. "Try as hard as you can to act natural. Don't let him know you're drunk."

"How c'n I be nat'ral? I jis' loss my frens!" Link shouted, clumsily rising from his seat, but quickly dropping onto the person who had acknowledged him earlier.

"Are you Link? Link from Hyrule?" The person asked, trying to keep Link vertical.

"Yeah..." Link breathed directly into his face. The person turned his head, fighting the urge to regurgitate. "Who wants t'know."

"I am Phoenix Lestrade: Time Detective for the Mute City Time Patrol of the 29th century. And you, my friend, are under arrest for recklessly and dangerously tampering with time."

* * *

The Red Fire and the Arwing were more than halfway through the fifth lap. While Falcon kept a considerable lead in first place, Mario and Luigi were still deadlocked in a brutal battle against Fox for second place, and at that moment, they seemed to be losing.

"We can't keep this up forever, Mario! I know you've seen our energy! We'll get ourselves killed if we stay in front!" Luigi shouted urgently.

He was completely useless in the weapons bay. Every shell shot or Fake Item Box dropped took a little from their vehicle's energy, and they needed what little they had left just to make it to the pit area.

"We can hold out a little longer!" Mario replied. "We're not that far from the pit area. Just watch Fox and tell me where the shots are coming from."

Suddenly, a bomb skimmed the side of the Red Fire. The brothers didn't even notice it until it crashed into the wall after they banked a sharp left. The shockwave hit from the rear, throwing the vehicle out of control.

"Damnit, Fox!" Mario grunted as he fought to regain control of the Red Fire.

"Listen to me! WE ARE GOING TO DIE IF WE CONTINUE LIKE THIS!!" Luigi exclaimed. "Just brake and let Fox pass us. We still have three more laps after this to get back in the lead."

Mario reluctantly listened to the wise words of his brother and slowed down the Red Fire. As expected, Fox zoomed by, but not before slapping them with a vicious slide attack. Mario pinballed from the Arwing and crashed into the nearest wall, claiming any little bit of energy they had left.

"As if this race wasn't hard enough..." Mario sighed as he cautiously guided the Red Fire to the pit area. The slightest brush against the wall could result in a catastrophic explosion. "How far are we from the pit area?" He asked, daring not to take his eyes off the road.

"Just hold out for a few kilometers. We're almost there." Luigi calmly replied, hoping his collectedness would encourage Mario to stay calm as well.

It seemed to work as Mario made it flawlessly, albeit slowly, to the pit area. The brothers breathed a collectively relieved sigh.

"Okay, here's the new plan." Mario began. "After we recharge and start the sixth lap, I'll _immediately_ use two Red Mushrooms and one Golden one. With the red ones, we should catch up to Fox. The Golden one should bring you close enough to _unload_ on Fox. Use everything we have. We have to take him out now."

Luigi simply nodded. He understood how urgent the situation was. As long as Fox was fully capable of dealing massive damage, they couldn't afford to get in front of him again.

After lapping up every bit of energy he could recover, Mario began the first phase of his strategy. Their speed more than doubled from 900km/hr to nearly 2000km/hr. All seemed to be according to plan as Fox quickly came into view. Obviously, Fox watched them come into view as well as he began boosting to keep his distance. Mario anticipated this, immediately closing the gap with the Golden mushroom.

"Please tell me it's my turn." Luigi hoped with an itchy trigger finger.

"Fire at will." Mario deviously smiled.

Luigi didn't even wait for Mario to complete his sentence. At the word "fire", Luigi sent a trio of Green Shells screaming towards the Arwing's exhaust. The first two just barely skimmed Fox's wings because of his skillful driving, but he couldn't shake the third one as it hit with pin-point precision, bringing the Arwing to a turbulent stop. Mario showed no mercy as he slammed the brakes to stay behind his opponent.

"He's helpless now, Luigi! FINISH HIM!!" Mario excitedly ordered.

Just as Luigi was about to overwhelm Fox with another trio of Green Shells, Fox recovered just enough to punch the thruster into overdrive, boosting away from the brothers at demonic speeds.

"What?! Where'd that come from?" Mario wondered, surprised at the Arwing's sudden burst of speed.

"F-Zero boosters can't get you that fast from rest. He has to be using his Arwing's boosting system." Luigi concluded.

"That cheater!" Mario growled. "He's _not_ getting away from me!"

Mario juiced up the Red Fire's engine with another Golden Mushroom in an effort to tail Fox once again. The Arwing's boosters were strong, but the Golden Mushroom had a little bit extra on it as the Mario brothers found themselves back in their prime firing position, though this time it'd prove to be a little more difficult: the road forced the Arwing and the Red Fire to bank a sharp right. A Green Shell would need a steady and skilled hand to successfully hit Fox. At that moment, Luigi had neither, but it didn't matter as he highlighted the dependable Red Shell on the weapon-select screen.

"Do a barrel roll, Fox!" Luigi shouted at Fox through the intercom as he pulled the trigger.

Fox caught a glimpse of the Red Shell ready to decimate the rear of his racer.

"I'll do you one better." Fox offered.

Just as the Red Shell was about to touch his right wing, the Arwing lifted off the ground, just enough to allow the shell to pass harmlessly beneath him and crash into a wall.

"That's not fair!" Mario groaned through gritted teeth.

"FOX!!" Luigi screamed after turning on the intercom monitor. "Does playing fair even mean anything to you?!"

Fox only answered with a Nova bomb from above. Mario veered a hard left to avoid a direct hit, but he couldn't escape the blast radius's aftershock, as the Red Fire was sent into a violent roll-over ride. Once Mario was back in control, he found the Arwing back on the road and behind him once again.

"No!" Mario exclaimed. "Can you do anything about it, Luigi?"

Luigi frantically launched Green Shell after Green Shell behind him in hopes of slowing Fox down. It only served as a diversion to keep him from shooting directly at the Red Fire, as Fox vaporized each shell sent his way.

"That's it. Those were the last of the shells." Luigi reported. "All we have left are item boxes."

Mario could only punch the steering wheel in frustration. "We'll just have to boost with everything we have left." Mario suggested, preparing a Red Mushroom.

"Don't do it yet!" Luigi cried, almost smacking the mushroom out of his brother's hand. "Fox is still behind us and we don't have that much energy left. Anything we take away from ourselves will hurt us more than anything."

"Argh..." Mario groaned, agitated. "Then is it even possible for us to beat Falcon now? He's probably starting the seventh lap now..."

"But there's _eight _laps in this race, Mario." Luigi reminded his brother, putting an encouraging hand on Mario's shoulder. "As long as we still have a chance, we can pull it off."

Mario nodded at Luigi's words. "...even with all of Fox's firepower, he still hasn't been able to take us out. There _is _still a chance..." His hands tightened around the steering wheel. "I'm going for the gold, Luigi. It's all or nothing."

And with that, Mario used a Golden Mushroom despite the amount of energy they had left. With Fox still maniacally firing his lasers, the fight to survive until they reached the pit area might've proved to be beyond grueling. Luckily for the brothers, the fight wouldn't last too long. Thanks to the Golden Mushroom, the brothers were able to put enough breathing room between themselves and Fox to make it to the pit area safely and recover all lost energy.

"The seventh lap..." Mario said as he crossed the starting line. "We're saving all the item boxes and Red Mushrooms for Falcon. It's all Golden Mushrooms until then."

Wasting no time, Mario powered up the engine once again with another Golden Mushroom, hoping to keep his lead on Fox. It seemed to work well enough. Fox's Arwing boosters couldn't keep up with the mushroom's power. But the supply of Golden Mushrooms was dwindling. The moment they'd run out, Fox would be on their tail, ready to obliterate. Needless to say, Mario and Luigi were in a tough spot. They needed a miracle.

"We're on our last Golden Mushroom, but we've been making good time. See if we're closer to Falcon." Mario said.

Luigi checked the radar to check for Falcon's position as Mario held his breathe. He hoped for a favorable reply.

"...what the..." Luigi uttered with a face twisted in confusion.

"He's still that far away?" Mario groaned, obviously disappointed that it sounded like his efforts bought them no closer to their ultimate goal.

"It's not about Falcon. You're... you're not going to believe this..." Luigi unsurely started. "...but there's someone else on the road..."

Mario wanted to look back at Luigi's face to see if he was serious, but this definitely wasn't the time to be joking around.

"Who?" Mario could only ask.

"I don't know, but here's the funny part." Luigi said. "He doesn't have a car. He's just walking around in circles..."

"Are you serious?" Mario demanded. "Who could be so stupid?"

The more correct question was: who could be so _drunk_? None other than the time-defying geriatric, Silver Neelsen.

"These kids... Nev'r show'n their elders respect. I'll tell ya, back in my day, if I ev'r did sum'pin like dat, I'd get five tree-branches to the arse: one fer each cheek..." Neelsen babbled on, stopping his walk in circles ever so often to shake his cane at the course's barrier.

Mario and Luigi were still speeding closer and closer toward the drunken geezer. If they continued at this rate, they'd undoubtedly annihilate him. But if they slowed down, Fox would undoubtedly annihilate them... Seeing no other choice, Mario pressed on, hoping he wouldn't have the crime of vehicular manslaughter weighing on his conscience after this race ended.

"Be on the lookout, Luigi. I don't want to get this car any redder than it already is, if you know what I mean." Mario said.

"I hear you." Luigi responded. "We're closing in on him quickly. A five hundred meters... four hundred... three..."

As Luigi counted down, Mario grew very tense. As he came closer to the inebriated old man, he could only think one thing:

_I hate F-Zero..._

"He's coming up. Get ready!" Luigi warned.

"I see him." Mario said, observing Neelsen stumble around.

"Think fast; you have five seconds!" Luigi exclaimed.

Mario drove straight toward the old man at full-speed, seemingly disregarding Luigi's warning. Neelsen turned just in time to see the Red Fire plowing directly toward him at full speed with no intention of stopping. He immediately froze, with his fear-twitching eyelid being the only thing moving. At the last possible nanosecond, Mario jerked his ride hard to the left in slide-attack fashion, literally skimming Silver Neelsen and sending him into a violently fast whirlwind.

"Whew... you cut it _really_ close..." Luigi said, slouching relieved in his seat.

Mario simply turned to his brother momentarily, giving him a strange look of relief, bewilderment, and frustration.

Luigi then decided to check on Silver Neelsen with the rear-view. He tuned in just in time to see him menacingly shaking his fist at the speeding vehicle that had just passed him. Luigi also caught a glimpse of Fox's Arwing in the background, not too far from where the F-Zero veteran stood.

"Gramps is alright..." Luigi reported. "But Fox is closing in on him fast. He's so eager to take us out; I don't think he'll see him in time to avoid him."

"Call him and let him know." Mario said.

Luigi immediately picked up Fox on the intercom and displayed his face on the monitor.

"Fox! This'll sound crazy, but you have to believe us." Luigi started. "There's some old guy on the track. He's drunk and doesn't know where he is. Slow--"

Fox cut the feed as soon as that word was uttered.

"He cut me off!" Luigi exclaimed, shocked and offended.

"Let me talk to him." Mario offered. As soon as Fox was back on the monitor... "You have to listen to us, Fox. There _really _is a drunk old guy on the course and you _will _hit him if you don't watch out. I just barely missed him. I know what it sounds like, but you _have_ to slow down."

"How stupid do you think I am?" Fox replied. "Stupid like a fox, I hope, because I'm not falling for something so idiotic." He said, looking straight at the camera. "You just better pray I don't catch up to you two. I have five bombs, all gift-wrapped especially for you, ready to be delivered straight up your--"

Suddenly, the connection between the Arwing and the Red Fire was abruptly cut. Simultaneously, a deafening explosion rang throughout the course. Luigi looked back just in time to see a mushroom cloud rise from where Silver Neelsen once was. Though they wondered how such an explosion was triggered, Mario and Luigi feared the worst. Nonetheless, they continued to boost ahead, continuing the race.

"It may seem heartless, but we can't worry about Fox now. We're about to start the final lap. As soon as I recharge, use those item boxes and hope for the best... We only have five..." Mario said as he entered the pit area.

Luigi used the first item box. Just as the Red Fire exited the pit area fully recovered, the random selection process came to an end. Their first race-saving item: a Banana Peel...

"Wow... what a waste..." Luigi muttered as he tossed the peel onto the road and picked the second item box as they began the final lap.

They were rewarded handsomely this time. Literally, as they received Coins.

"Coins? I haven't seen these in a race since the _Super Mario Kart_ Grand Prix. Still a waste..." Luigi sighed while pocketing the extra change.

"Where's Lady Luck when you need her?" Mario wondered, hoping for anything favorable.

She may have been a little late, but Ms. Luck finally made her presence felt: the third item box yielded an Invincibility Star.

"OH YEAH!! We'll get a speed boost AND Red Mushroom won't tax our energy!" Luigi excitedly said.

"Finally, something goes our way." Mario said, relieved. "But don't use it just yet. I have a plan. Pick another box."

With the fourth box, the Red Fire was now appropriately equipped with Fireballs.

"Yes! I'll hold on to these..." Luigi said.

They were down to the last item box. Luigi's hand trembled as he pressed the button to begin the selection process. This one seemed to take forever to land on an item. Finally, it began slowing down, then momentarily stopping on a Fake Item Box. Luigi's felt his heart stop. If that was their last item, then all hope was lost. But suddenly, the item switched to something infinitely more useful. Luigi's face brightened up as he stared at the ultimate come-from-behind-and-win-the-race weapon: the almighty Winged Spiny Blue Shell.

"Mario..." Luigi giddily said, trying his best to hide his excitement. "We have a Blue Shell."

"Thank you." Mario graciously said, looking up to whatever higher power was watching them. "Falcon will never know what hit him!" Mario exclaimed. "Throw that shell and use the star. I'll handle the rest."

Luigi vigorously released the Blue Shell and let it seek out its unsuspecting target, immediately triggering the Invincibility Star afterward. Mario then stuffed the Red Fire's engine with every Red Mushroom they had left. With this speed-heavy combination, the Red Fire was able to achieve speeds of almost 3000km/hr.

While the Red Fire and the Blue Shell closed in on the Sonic Grampus, an unsuspecting Falcon was comfortably cruising at the relatively low speed of 700km/hr. Thinking his victory could only be guaranteed at this point; Falcon flipped on his retro CD player custom-installed for his weekend racer and began singing along to his victory music.

_"Why is it so many stars shine far away,_

_While there's only one that determines the day?_

_On Earth it's the very same tale:__We drank from one well;__A common life spring._

_Caaaaaaaaaaaaptain__ Falcon will always prevail!__Sending forces of darkness away!_

_When my open confusion threatens your lunch..._

_Falcon will be unleashing a Falcon Punch!_

_Thank heaven he's on the right side,_

_Or else there'd be nowhere to hide!_

_Caaaaaaaaaaaaptain__ Falcon will always be found!_

_Hot on the trail tracking them down!_

_Giiiiiiiiiiiiive__ it up for the 'Cap-i-tan'!__Three cheers for the Fal--"_

Falcon's singing was bought to an abrupt and explosive end as the winged shell finally caught up to him, robbing him of all but enough energy to boost once. And as if Falcon's situation couldn't get any worse, Mario and Luigi finally closed the gap between them as he just started regaining speed. Luckily for Falcon, the Invincibility Star's power had run dry and the brothers used the last of their mushrooms. The worst they could do was pull up along side the Grampus and taunt him.

"Hey Falcon! It's been a while." Luigi taunted after opening a communication channel on the intercom.

"You guys have sunk to a new low... I don't even have any weapons!" Falcon shouted angrily.

"Not our problem." Mario replied. "You never said we couldn't use them."

"Anything to help you win, huh? Well, guess what?" Falcon asked.

Without even waiting for an answer, Falcon suddenly pulled out a slide attack and sidelined the Red Fire into the barrier.

"Cheaters never prosper!" Falcon saluted the screen in a corny super-hero role model fashion.

The Red Fire's speed dropped drastically as Falcon began snaking away from the brothers, boosting to build more speed.

"NO!! We were so close!" Mario shouted as he slowly accelerated his car, pushing on the steering wheel as if it would help him move faster.

"I planned for something like this..." Luigi said, looking at the Fireball in his hand.

"Luigi, the Fireball! We still have a chance at hitting him!" Mario realized, his voice rising in optimism.

But without warning, Luigi engulfed the ball of flame. Mario saw the reflection of Luigi doing this in the windshield. His heart sunk as Luigi let out a deep belch.

"I can't believe you just did that..." Mario muttered, defeated. "That's it. We lost..."

Luigi, saying nothing to his brother, then dropped the top of cockpit and stood up, full-height.

"What are you doing?! Close that up and sit down! We lost! There's no need for anymore drastic measures!" Mario shouted.

"We still have one last chance." Luigi said. "While I was in Heaven, I managed to improve the Green Missile. It's stronger and faster than ever before. And with a misfire, it's more powerful than Fox's Nova bombs! That's why I ate that fireball: to guarantee that misfire."

Mario wanted to get up and smack some sense into Luigi so badly. He didn't like where this conversation was going at all...

"Luigi, you better not be thinking what I think you're thinking..." Mario warned.

Luigi replied by charging up his Green Missile. "See you on the other side of the finish line." Those were the last words he said before he launched himself right at the back of Falcon's ride.

"NO!!" Mario shouted as he watched Luigi misfire with fantastic speed toward the Sonic Grampus.

Luigi crashed into the snaking Falcon just as he hit the jump pad over Hell's Entrance. Mario could only watch helplessly, hoping the Grampus would make it over the gap safely. But to his horror, they quickly began to lose altitude and plummeted below the track.

"NOOOOOO!!!" Mario cried.

He bought the Red Fire to a screeching halt and jumped out of the car, running toward the barrier to look over the edge. All he saw was the Grampus continue to fall further and further below the course until he saw a fiery explosion. From what he saw, there was no possible way for either Falcon or Luigi to survive.

Completely overwhelmed by the losses of Fox, Falcon, and his brother, Mario sunk to his knees.


	17. So Close, Yet So Far: Part 5

**Act 9****: **_**So Close, Yet So Far**_ (Part 5)

"Soooo... How's it hanging?"

"Oh, now you're trying to be funny. After destroying my Sonic Grampus, you think you can make it all better by making me laugh. I'll tell you what'd be really funny: watching you fall to your doom. That would be _hilarious_."

"Lighten up, Falcon. You wishing ill will on me won't help us out at all."

"Yeah? Well neither will your brother's crying. Who cries at his age, anyway? Past the age of five, it should be illegal for anyone to shed a tear. And he's drowning in a freaking _pool_ of his own. He better not think we're dead or something."

"He probably does... "

"He should know better. It'll take way more than an F-Zero crash to finish me off."

"Yeah, and I'm getting pretty good at dodging Death. I guess we should let him know we're alright."

"Speak for yourself. My arm's about to give out. Let go of my legs so I can climb back up."

"How about I don't? It's kind of a long way down..."

* * *

Sitting on his knees, his head hanging and his shoulders slumped, Mario could only wonder why.

_Why does it have to be this way? I'm losing so much... Fox... Falcon... my brother... again... It hasn't even been a day since we bought him back. All I need to hear is that something happened to Link and that'll be it. I'll lose my mind._

_I may already be at that point..._

_I don't know how much more I can take. This is nothing like I've been through before, and I can't do this alone. I need--_

"...help..."

_...help. I need all the help I can get. But the numbers are dwindling. I had Fox, Falcon, Luigi, and Link before, but now only Link is left. I can't risk losing him, too..._

"...help us..."

_...help us. Who would help us? If this is a sign of things to come, every new partner we get won't last--_

"HELP US, YOU CRYING LOSER!!"

"Wha...?" The sudden outburst shook Mario from his thoughts.

"Can you help us out, Mario? I'm a little tired of hanging out with Falcon." Another voice shouted clearly.

The voices sounded like they were coming from over the edge. Mario rose to his feet and peered over the side of the course. He never felt such a hard mood swing as he instantly went from heart-sinking misery to heart-skipping happiness. On the side opposite from where he was standing, Captain Falcon was hanging by one arm on the edge of the barrier with Luigi dangling from his legs.

"I thought you guys were gone!" Mario exclaimed, wiping away his tears of sorrow and replacing them with tears of happiness.

"Save the joy for later. You do realize we're still dangling from a dangerously high altitude, occasionally glancing down at our swift and sloppy deaths, right?" Luigi said with a strained voice.

"Why does _your_ voice sound strained? I'm the one supporting both our weights with one manly arm!" Falcon pointed out.

"Don't worry, I'm coming." Mario assured them.

Moments later, Luigi and Falcon were finally standing on safe ground.

"I still can't believe you guys survived that! How is that even possible?" Mario eagerly asked.

"One word: ejector seat." Falcon stated, clearly spelling out both words.

"That's two words..." Mario corrected.

"Not if they're hyphenated." Falcon countered. Mario just sighed as shook his head, but kept a smile on his face. "But the real question is how the hell was Luigi able to destroy my Sonic Grampus?!" Falcon exclaimed. "In fact, how are you even alive?" He turned to Luigi. "You must've been flying at a ridiculous speed to catch up to me. Then we have the force of impact! If Physics taught me anything, it's that you shouldn't be standing here after that."

"I can explain it, but that'll take a lot of time that we don't have." Luigi said.

"I still can't believe you did that... I really liked that racer..." Falcon murmured, sounding hurt. "Besides, I had that race won! I should've crossed the finish line first! Not this goofy oaf of a plumber!" Falcon shouted, pointing at Mario.

"First of all, I'm not goofy and I'm not an oaf. Please don't ever call me that again." Mario requested. "Second of all, I never... crossed... the... finish line..." Mario muttered, his voice shrinking smaller and smaller with each word.

Falcon and Luigi could only gasp in amazement. Luigi was especially floored. He tempted Death solely to guarantee Mario the win.

They all looked toward the finish line. Two hundred meters away...

Then they looked at each other. More specifically, the Mario brothers looked at Falcon, with him returning the glance. They knew exactly what was going to happen next.

Without saying a word, all three of them leapt into a sprint toward the finish line. The race would end on foot.

"Pardon my DUST!!" Falcon taunted as he looked back to the slower Mario brothers. He knew he was fastest of the three.

Even though Falcon was out of his vehicle, he still should've kept his eyes on the road. It would've saved him from the plainly conspicuous Banana Peel: the very same Banana Peel Luigi deemed useless and threw away just before they started the eighth lap.

"WHOOP--" Falcon let out as his foot flew out from under him and launched him into the air.

After landing hard on his back, he scrambled to his feet in an attempt to regain his lead. But it was too late. The brothers were on the other side of the finish line, triumphantly hopping around as they celebrated their victory.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT BANANA PEEL HELPED US!! HA HA HAA!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!" Luigi kept shouting over and over as he do-si-do'd alongside a laughing Mario.

"What are you guys celebrating about? You didn't win!" Falcon sorely shouted, fighting to be heard over the brothers' jubilance.

"Yes we did! You heard the announcer in the beginning: 'the first one to cross the finish line is the winner'. And who made it here first?" Mario paused as if he was waiting for an answer.

"THE SUPER MARIO BROTHERS!!" Luigi exclaimed, executing his graceful and patented Coptersault.

"You can't take this one away from us, Falcon. Just admit you lost." Mario said.

Falcon stood there with his arms crossed. He didn't want to admit it. This would be his second loss in the same day, and for him, two losses in the same _year_ was too much. He racked his brain for a point to argue on, but he came up with nothing. Mario was right. He said nothing about weapons, even when Fox first suggested that he'd use them, and the announcer _did_ say the first one to finish was the winner. If there was anyone to blame for his loss, it was Falcon, himself.

"Alright, guys. I'll admit it. I lost. You won." Falcon finally concurred, though slightly begrudgingly.

"Wow, he actually did it." Luigi said, sounding shocked. "Why don't I have my tape-recorder?"

"So let's hear it." Mario said, waiting to hear the information Falcon promised to give upon their victory.

Falcon paused. "Shouldn't my admitting defeat be enough of a prize?"

"It would've been if I had my tape-recorder..." Luigi grumbled. "But you still promised to tell us what you knew about getting back to Hyrule. I still don't get why you made us race you to find out. You heard our story. You heard everything we've been through. Just _my_ part of the story alone should've been enough to spill your guts about getting not only to Hyrule, but any other location we could potentially have to go."

"...sorry about that. I guess I was still sore about losing to you guys in the Smash tournaments." Falcon muttered. "To tell the truth, guys, I never doubted your cause or how serious you were about it. This was supposed to be fun. I was just trying to get your minds off of everything."

"You know, you could've just said all that instead of being such an ass about it..." Mario pointed out.

"Well, you know me. I'm an ass." Falcon shrugged.

"...an ass that doesn't know how to get to Hyrule." Luigi stared right into Falcon's eyes.

Mario suddenly turned to Luigi, surprised that he would even suggest Falcon was lying all this time. He expected an immediate rebuttal from Falcon as he turned his way, but instead, there was an apologetic expression.

"You really don't know, Falcon?" Mario demanded confirmation.

"Nope." Falcon slowly shook his head.

Luigi gave a smirk despite the situation. "I had my suspicions before, but I went along with it anyway. Heh, I even risked my life for it. Not a good idea in retrospect... but after a while, I just wanted to win and I didn't care how. Huh..." Luigi laughed at his uncharacteristic eagerness to win. Suddenly, Falcon and Fox's distaste for defeat didn't seem so outlandish to him.

"So... You guys aren't gonna kill me, right?" Falcon wondered.

"I'm not if Mario isn't." Luigi replied, looking to his brother.

"I really should..." Mario's eyes narrowed as he looked at Falcon. "...but you sound sorry enough about it. And getting upset won't get us anywhere. You're really lucky, Falcon. I can't think of too many people that'd let something like this go."

"Trust me, Mario, I know." Falcon agreed whole-heartedly. "You guys really do live up to your title. Before this, I never understood why you two were so popular."

"Hehe, that's funny. Before this, I never understood why _you_ were so popular." Luigi admitted. "...in fact, I still don't."

"Shut up." Falcon simply growled as Mario let out a chuckle. "So what are you guys gonna do now?"

"I really don't know." Mario admitted. "The only thing I can think of is meeting up with Link so we can think of something."

"Oh yeah, Link's here, too..." Falcon remembered. "I know you guys are alright, but I think Link is a little..." Falcon completed his sentence by circling his ear with his finger at a distance.

"Believe it or not, he's not as bad as when I first met him." Mario said. "But don't worry too much. If we're not upset about it, then Link should let you live." He assured Falcon.

"You sure about that?" Falcon still wasn't convinced. "For all I know, Link might kill me twice."

"Twice." The brothers repeated.

"Yeah." Falcon gave a convinced nod. "If you think about it, it's not that hard to believe. He'd kill me in the present, go back in time with his time-traveling lute or whatever the hell it is, steal my Grampus, and run me over with it."

After several astonished blinks... "You have a _really_ overactive imagination, Falcon." Luigi said.

"Trust me, Falcon. Link won't get mad, especially if we tell him what you told us." Mario reassured him.

"Worst-case scenario: he'll call you an 'ass' like we did." Luigi said, also instilling reassurance on Falcon. "And I know you've been called worse."

"Oh yeah. People can get really creative with those words." Falcon nodded. "Sticks and stones is all I can say."

"Heh, I figured they'd roll right off your back." Mario smiled. "Well, let's get going. The Rest Stop, right?"

Falcon and Luigi verified with a "yep" and an "uh-huh", respectively.

"OH, that reminds me!" Falcon suddenly burst out. "Fox! Where is he? When I put that together with the explosion I saw in the rear-view, I get a little worried. All F-Zero racers are supposed to have emergency teleportation, but since he's not here with us, I'm guessing he wasn't using anything F-Zero-related."

"Nope. He was in his Arwing. It was disguised to look like the Little Wyvern." Luigi said.

"Clever..." Falcon sighed.

"We took the opposite branch on the last lap, so we haven't seen the aftermath." Luigi muttered.

"So what the hell happened? Your weapons were _that_ powerful?" Falcon asked.

"We had nothing to do with that. You know how _everything_ inconceivable happens with us?" Mario asked. After Falcon's nod, "Well, some drunk old guy found his way onto the track and was just walking around in circles. We managed to avoid him, but I'm guessing Fox didn't and, nonsensically, exploded right when he crashed."

"...normally... I'd laugh in disbelief, but I actually believe you. And I know who the old guy is." Falcon said. "Silver Neelsen. He's senile and should be retired. This isn't the first time he's walked out in the middle of a race. Whenever he's not racing, he's getting drunk as hell at the Rest Stop. And when he gets drunk, he does incredibly stupid things, like... walking out in the middle of a track during a race.

"I remember one day... he approached me all frantic and whatnot, looking like the world was about to end. He wanted me to enter a bet race with a prize of two million credits. I wasn't gonna do it, but he threw the 'old man's last request' card at me. That's so cheap... Suddenly, I felt obligated. So I beat the crap out of the competition and took the prize for him. He gave me something for my trouble and spent the rest on 'protection'."

The brothers glanced unsurely at each other.

"...he bought a lifetime supply of cond--"

"Stop while you're ahead, Luigi." Falcon interrupted with a halting hand. "He bought a walking cane made of dark-matter-infused titanium alloy. He felt that if ever he was in a life-threatening bind, his cane would keep him safe. So much for that plan..."

"...that... makes... no... sense..." Mario could only utter in fragments. Wrapping his head around such an illogical choice was beyond him.

"You can say that again." Falcon nodded.

"Maybe if we check out the scene of the accident, we can find something out." Luigi suggested.

Mario just shrugged. "Why not?"

The three hopped into the Red Fire and made their way to the last spot Fox's Arwing was seen. Upon their arrival...

"...there's nothing here!" Luigi gasped.

Despite the violent explosion rivaling a nuclear blast, there was nothing. No scrap metal, no scorch marks. It was as if nothing happened at all.

"We all saw that explosion, right? I know I'm not going crazy." Mario convinced himself.

"We all saw it." Falcon verified. "But it's all empty... It's like everything got vaporized..."

"So Fox..." Luigi was afraid to complete his sentence.

"Honestly... I don't know." Falcon admitted. "I don't want to jump to conclusions. Me and Fox have gotten pretty cool ever since he started posing as James, even though I didn't know it was him... I'd hate to think he's gone for good..."

"But that explosion was huge..." Mario muttered.

"If anything's keeping me optimistic, it's that I know a little bit about dark matter." Falcon said.

"Tell us what you know. But this time, without having to beat you in a race." Luigi added.

"Don't worry, this one's on the house." Falcon assured them. "We can use dark matter for time-travel. Don't ask me about the intricacies, but all I know is that when you hit it _really_ hard with huge amounts of energy, you can rip a hole through space-time and travel forward or backward in time." Falcon said.

The Mario brothers kept quiet in awe.

"Yeah, I figured it'd be over your heads. But just know that if Fox _is_ still alive, and he probably is, he's not here. He's somewhere in the future, cursing at Neelsen for being in the way." Falcon concluded.

"I like that thought a lot better than mine." Mario finally spoke, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Yeah..." Luigi breathed out, as well. "So we head to the Rest Stop now? I actually want to see Link's reaction to this one."

"Yeah. We'll definitely need that piccolo, or whatever he plays, if we wanna bring Fox back." Falcon agreed. "Give me the wheel, I'll get us there in no time."

With that said, the three left the hectic Casino Palace track and were on their way to the Rest Stop. As they closed in on their destination, they caught a glimpse of a strange, red vehicle, in a shape resembling some sort of bird.

"That's a pretty flashy car." Luigi noticed.

"That's Phoenix Lestrade's racer, the Rainbow Phoenix. It's actually doubles as a time machine, too." Falcon said.

"Phoenix? The time cop?" Mario remembered.

"Yep." Falcon verified.

"Your twin?" Luigi added with a smirk.

"Yes..." Falcon sarcastically muttered, annoyed.

The Rainbow Phoenix began to rise into the air as the brothers watched in awe. It started to gather energy, gradually shining to the point where Mario, Luigi, and Falcon had to shield their eyes. A sort of portal opened in front of Phoenix's vehicle as it slowly began to move forward. Then, in the blink on an eye, the Rainbow Phoenix blasted off with a sonic boom, leaving behind a trail of electricity. Both the Phoenix and the portal disappeared without a trace.

"He probably went back to his own time." Falcon guessed.

"That was pretty cool!" Luigi exclaimed. "Why can't you do that, Falcon?"

"Hey, he comes from the 29th century! Our technology isn't as advanced as his yet. According to him, we won't have anything remotely close to that for another three hundred years!" Falcon defended. "Well... nothing like that will be _publicly known_ for three hundred years, at least."

"Hey, wait a second... Did you notice all these police cars and ambulances here?" Mario suddenly realized.

Luigi and Falcon surveyed the area too. Sure enough, the area was swarming with cops and EMTs; questioning civilians and tending to the injured, respectively.

"Whoa, how could we miss all this? This is terrible! What the hell happened here?" Falcon gasped, appalled at the current scene. In all his years of coming to The Rest Stop, he's never seen anything as severe as this.

"We're not going to find out by sitting around in here. Let's check it out." Luigi suggested, opening the Red Fire cockpit.

While Mario and Luigi broke into an eager jog to find out what happened, Falcon's pace was lagging. The scene at the Rest Stop was hitting him pretty hard. He had so many good times here, and even though a few petty scuffles would break out here and there, he thought he'd never see anything on the magnitude of what he was seeing now. People looked dazed... confused... distraught... angry... But worse than that, people were hurt, some more badly than others. With every ambulance that left the scene, another one seemed to replace it. As Falcon looked on, he could only hope whoever was responsible for this would pay dearly.

At the Rest Stop's entrance, two cops were standing guard. These guys were big, almost looking like bouncers for an exclusive club. They noticed Mario and Luigi closing in on them fast and promptly blocked the entrance.

"You can't enter here, boys. Don't you see what's going on? This place is closed until further notice." One of the cops said.

"You have to let us in! We have a friend in there! We need to see if he's alright." Luigi argued.

"Most of the customers have been taken to the hospital to be treated. The others that weren't so bad off are still here, giving us information on what happened. Either way, I seriously doubt your friend is inside." The other cop explained.

"Just let us see for ourselves. We'll be in and out. I promise." Mario said, not even waiting for their blessing as he pushed past. The two cops simply stopped him in his tracks by grabbing his arms and lifting him off his feet.

"Now listen here, buddy..." The cop began. "This is the scene of a crime, and we can't have civilians leisurely walking in and out as they please. I already told you, your friend is either out here giving us info or at the hospital. Don't make me tell you again..." He threatened, staring at Mario through narrowed eyes.

They put Mario down, with him immediately backing off.

"Easy, boys. No need to be so tough on him." Falcon said, finally catching up with the Mario brothers.

"Hey, Captain Falcon! How's it going, man? We were just telling these guys they couldn't enter. They obviously don't know how we operate at a crime scene." The other cop said, glaring right at Mario.

"Fill me in; what happened here?" Falcon eagerly asked.

"Well, I don't know the exact details yet. All we're here to do is to make sure no one but police and EMTs enter." The cop admitted. "But the story that's going around: another cop was supposed to make a nice and easy bust on some kid, but he decided he wasn't going down without a fight."

"It also seemed like he was pretty popular." The other cop continued. "A lot of other guys joined in the revolt and jumped the cop. That's when all Hell broke loose. Thank God John Tanaka was there to call for backup. Without him, it would've been a lot worse..."

"Tanaka... I know him!" Mario suddenly remembered. "We met him earlier. Is he alright? Is he still around?"

"He should be... He got a few punches and kicks, but those are slaps on the wrists compared to what happened to some other people..." The cop said, glumly. "You should've seen the Skull after we found him. Or what was left of him... Anyway, Tanaka should be around here, somewhere. He's probably filling out a report for the Federation."

"Thanks a lot, guys." Falcon said and went in search of Tanaka, along with Mario and Luigi.

Not too far away from the entrance was none other than John Tanaka. He was sitting in an ambulance, tending to a nasty bump on his head with an ice pack. Even though he lived in a futuristic wonderland, injuries as minor as a lump on the noggin were still treated by conventional methods.

"Tanaka!" Falcon called.

Tanaka looked up and saw Mario, Luigi, and Falcon walking toward him. He smiled for a brief second, but that smile quickly vanished. He had news for them that would shatter their morale.

"Hey..." Tanaka half-heartedly greeted.

"We heard you were in the middle of a riot. How are you feeling?" Mario asked.

"As good as I can possibly feel now, which is not very good at all..." Tanaka sighed.

"I can relate, man... This place was like my home away from home. It hurts to see the Rest Stop like this..." Falcon said.

"While I love this place as well, that's not the reason why I feel so miserable..." Tanaka muttered.

"Well, before you get into that, we need to find Link. You had to have seen him here. Do you have any idea what happened to him?" Luigi wondered.

Tanaka's heart sunk. Even so, he let out a weak laugh. "Funny you mentioned him. He and I quickly became very good friends."

"So why isn't he here with you?" Mario demanded.

"Link got very drunk at the bar..." Tanaka started.

The three exchanged worried glances. They knew how Link could get while he was sober. They couldn't even begin to imagine him inebriated.

"Is Link even old enough to drink?!" Falcon exclaimed, amazed by this bit of news.

"I don't think so. But it doesn't matter to me. When you saved the world as many times as he did, aren't you responsible enough to drink?" Tanaka rhetorically inquired. "I felt that it was alright, so I told him he could indulge if he wanted. I paid his tab."

"So Link got drunk... That still doesn't explain why he's not here. Is he at the hospital? Is he even alright?" Mario asked, suddenly fearing the worst.

"No, no, he's fine." Tanaka assured. "Well, the last time I saw him, he was fine. You see, while Link was drunk, Phoenix came to arrest him for tampering with time. Link was already upset about something before Phoenix came, and that pushed him over the edge. He pulled out his sword and shield and began destroying random tables, chairs, and stools. Phoenix tried to restrain him, but Link fought back. Then other people came to fight by Link's side. He had become quite popular, beforehand." Tanaka explained. "They all attacked Phoenix at once. He may have been strong, but he couldn't handle all those people alone. As a member of the Galactic Space Federation, I couldn't sit idly by and let this obstruction of justice go on. I went in to help Phoenix, but they began attacking me as well. Link never laid a finger on me, though. Even so, I had no choice but to call the Mute City Police Department, who also bought in their Special Force Unit upon hearing about the situation. Before they arrived, nearly everyone in the Rest Stop was fighting each other. The situation just spiraled out of control. Never in my life have I seen such chaos."

"...I can't believe this..." Falcon gasped, in awe of the fact that Link was responsible for everything. "So... I'm... guessing after the MCPD calmed everyone down, Phoenix finally arrested Link."

"Unfortunately..." Tanaka confirmed. "After it was over, Link seemed to be very disorientated. The alcohol must've worn off during the fight."

"It really is never easy with us..." Mario sighed. "Now we have to bail Link out of jail."

"It's not that simple, Mario..." Tanaka pointed out. "We've worked with the Time Patrol unit of this century before. Every unit of every century generally operates the same way. When an agent from a particular century apprehends a culprit, they take them back to their century to be judged."

With those words, Mario felt his stomach lurch to the point where he almost felt sick. After swallowing hard, "...so you mean to tell me..." He only managed to choke out.

"Yes... Phoenix has taken Link to the 29th century. And according to him, punishment for time offenders is very harsh." Tanaka said with a lump forming in his throat in mid-sentence.

Mario legs suddenly felt very weak as he fell to his knees. Luigi nearly dove to his side. Tanaka might as well've said Link had died. He was taken to the 29th century, and as far as he knew, there was no way for him to get there. They had been through so much together. They had helped each other get this far. They had formed an unbelievably close bond. And now, Time had shattered that bond in a way he would've never even imagined.

"I can't let him go like that... Not after all we've been through." Mario shakily said.

"But we're three hundred years apart. How can we even _think_ about closing that gap?" Luigi said, defeated.

Luigi's words hit Mario hard. _"We're three hundred years apart."_ He even doubted if Link, himself, could travel that far through time.

"Sorry, Mario..." Luigi said with a hand on his shoulder, realizing his words were more powerful than he thought.

"There's a way for us to get Link back." Mario muttered.

"There is?" Luigi was taken aback by this new bit of information Mario suddenly seemed to know.

"I have no doubt in my mind that there's a way to get Link back." He repeated, staring Luigi in the eye. "There was a way for me and Link to beat Cloud and Squall, right? There was a way for us to survive the Brinstar Depths, right? There was a way for us to get back to the Green Hill Zone and save you, right? There has to be a way for us to get to Link."

"But Falcon said it himself: there won't be any type of time-travel available for another three hundred years." Luigi argued.

"I said no means of time-travel would be _publicly known_ for another three hundred years. Tanaka just said there's a Time Patrol crew in this century. We'll find their headquarters, and that will be our ticket to finding Link." Falcon explained.

"You sound like you're coming with us, Falcon." Mario said, surprised by Falcon's gesture.

"Of _course_ I'm coming with you!" Falcon assured. "But trust me, it's not to save Link like you guys are. I'm gonna do it my own way: I'm gonna steal his oboe, travel back to before he starts this riot and slap some sense into him. I still think he's crazy, but I know he's not _this_ crazy. There's more to this story, and we gotta get to the bottom of it."

"Damn right, Falcon!" Mario exclaimed, choosing those words in the spirit of Link. "We might even find Fox out there. This might not be such a bad thing after all..." He said, convinced that everything would turn out fine.

"So where are these time cops?" Luigi asked.

"I have no idea..." Falcon admitted. "But that's why we have Tanaka!" He exclaimed, landing a brisk pat on Tanaka's back.

Tanaka suddenly looked like he was awakened by a foghorn. He looked frantically at Mario, Luigi, and Falcon, and then breathed out heavy breaths.

"You alright, Tanaka?" Falcon asked, concerned by Tanaka's look.

"I was just lost in my thoughts. I feel like I'm at fault for this entire situation. If Link wasn't as affected as he was, he would've seen Phoenix and avoided him somehow." Tanaka stated, regretfully.

"Tanaka..." Luigi sighed. He understood Tanaka's sorrow, but thought he was overreacting.

"Tanaka, it's alright." Mario assured him. "I'm not mad at you, and I'm sure Link isn't either."

"But I helped Phoenix fight, as well. Essentially, I was fighting against Link. If I hadn't helped him, Link could've escaped." Tanaka said.

"But then you would've lost your job, right?" Mario said. Tanaka's eyes shifted away from Mario's face. He knew Mario was right. "No one wants that to happen. Especially Link."

"How do we even go about getting him back? He's three hundred years away from us. That's an inconceivable distance for us to travel." Tanaka said.

"Were you listening at all, Tanaka?" Falcon asked, surprised by his statement. "You just said there's a Time Patrol for this century and they have a time machine. We just gotta tell them what's going on and ask if we could use it. Simple."

"I hope you don't honestly believe that." Tanaka said. "There's no use in going. I already know their answer."

"I'm going to the future." Mario asserted. "One way or another."

"What do you mean by that?" Tanaka wondered, fearing Mario was planning something extreme.

He didn't even need to answer. The look in his eyes said it all.

"This is suicide! Do you know what will happen to you if they apprehend you breaking into their headquarters?" Tanaka warned, hoping he could get Mario to abandon his plan.

"They won't. By the time they see me, I'll already be in the time machine, heading to the 29th century." Mario confidently stated.

"But do you think they're just going to stop and let you go? This is the Time Patrol! You'll be a wanted criminal in every century!" Tanaka exclaimed.

Suddenly, Mario's confidence took a critical hit. He didn't consider the fact that with this technology, traveling through time was just like traveling from one town to another. He could still get caught, even after reaching the 29th century.

Tanaka saw the doubt starting to settle in Mario's mind. "Now do you understand?"

"Yeah, I do..." Mario admitted. "But it's a risk I'm willing to take. Ever since we started this journey, Link's been like a brother to me. I can't sit back and do nothing while he's in trouble. I won't be able to sleep at night knowing that I didn't do everything within my power to try and save him. I'll keep trying until I have nothing left. And even then, I'll keep trying. The only way I won't go is if I'm dead."

Tanaka finally saw that there was no convincing Mario to do otherwise. He was hell-bent on going to the future and bringing Link back to the present time. Even though he thought Mario was out of his mind, he had to admit, it was a very noble and admirable deed.

"I'll... only be able to lead you to the Time Patrol headquarters. After that, you three are on your own." Tanaka explained. "I still work for the Galactic Federation. If they discover that I'm not only giving out very confidential information, but helping you break into a federal facility, the consequences I'll face will be exponential. I may get exiled to Sand Ocean..."

"Exiled?" Falcon started laughing. "Exiles are so 20th century. If anything, you'll just get fired and ridiculed for the rest of your life. You might even be banned from F-Zero for life."

"Thanks a lot, Tanaka." Mario gratefully said. "Don't worry; I understand the risks you're running."

"I'm running such a high risk; I can't even be seen in my own vehicle." Tanaka said.

"Let's use the Red Fire." Luigi suggested assured.

With that, the crew headed towards the Red Fire. Before they could even reach the street, a sudden scream broke the relative silence of the streets in front of the Rest Stop, quickly followed by an explosion. It sounded like another riot, or worse, was brewing.

Mario, Luigi, Falcon, and Tanaka quickly took cover behind an overturned vehicle. Almost immediately, they saw a man flying helplessly through the air as if he had been launched by some relentless power. He crashed, back-first, into the side of one of the ambulances. He had been thrown so hard that he actually caused the vehicle to flip over.

"My God..." Tanaka weakly sighed. "Who could do such a thing?"

His question was answered by evil cackling accompanied by snide laughter. They turned in the direction the laughter was coming from. Tanaka and Falcon were more heavily affected by the two culprits' presence as they could feel their blood begin to boil upon. Standing on top of a police car, sending ambulances crashing into each other with merely his mind was Black Shadow: Captain Falcon's arch-nemesis. Alongside Black Shadow, stirring up mayhem in the crowd of remaining people was Blood Falcon: Captain Falcon's evil clone and Black Shadow's right-hand man.

Policemen tried their best to stop the evil duo, shooting at them with everything they had while taking cover behind their vehicles. It proved to be futile, as Blood Falcon speedily appeared before them and swiftly kicked all their weapons away from them. Black Shadow then dealt the finishing blow, crushing them with their own cars before they could even react.

"Of all the times to show up..." Falcon angrily growled through gritted teeth.

"Who are they?" Mario demanded.

"Black Shadow and Blood Falcon: ruthless F-Zero contestants and nefarious villains." Tanaka answered.

"Look at what they're doing! This isn't right! We should stop them!" Luigi exclaimed.

"Forget it, Luigi. They're way too strong for you. You and Mario are better off going with Tanaka to the Time Patrol headquarters." Falcon said.

"But look what the big guy is doing! He's picking up ambulances with his mind!" Luigi pointed out.

"You're going to need all the help you can get, Falcon." Mario said. He was reluctant, but he felt obligated to help Falcon any way he could.

"Don't worry about Falcon." Tanaka said. "He's dealt with both of them before."

"Trust me, guys. I'll be done with these guys before you know it." Falcon assured the Mario brothers. "Now get outta here before they see all of us. They won't let you go if they catch you."

"Falcon..." Mario was about to try to convince Falcon to let them help, but he could see the determination in Falcon's eyes. It wouldn't be any use. "Falcon, just try to catch up with us. If you're not at the time machine when we're ready to leave, we're going without you."

"The same goes for you. I might make it to the machine before you do." Falcon said, flashing Mario a smile.

"The race is on." Mario announced. "See you at the finish line."

With that, Mario led Luigi and Tanaka to the Red Fire.

"You drive, Tanaka. You know this place better than we do." Luigi said.

Tanaka nodded in response as they all jumped into the car and drove off towards the Time Patrol's headquarters. The last thing they saw before the left was Falcon confronting Black Shadow and Blood Falcon.

"Good luck, Captain Falcon..." Mario silently wished with a salute as he, his adversaries, and the Rest Stop gradually fell out of view.


	18. So Close, Yet So Far: Part 6

**Act 9****: **_**So Close, Yet So Far**_ (Part 6)

"Aight man, drop the beat!" Ganondorf commanded, rhythmically bobbing his head with a mic in his hand.

Silence followed afterward. Heavy, hesitant silence...

"Yo... Where's my beat?" Ganondorf demanded, halting his head-bobbing and holding his arms out in confusion.

The response: more silence. An embarrassed silence...

"Bowser. Where the fuck is my beat?!" Ganondorf angrily asked, glaring at Bowser.

He continued his silence. A troubled silence...

"The hell's your problem?" Ganondorf asked, as Bowser was looking like he was facing internal turmoil.

"I really don't want to do this..." Bowser shyly murmured. This sounded completely uncharacteristic of him.

"Oh word? Aight, lemme tell you somethin'..." Ganondorf replied, with a hint of sympathy in his voice.

He motioned Bowser to come near him. Bowser shuffled over and Ganondorf put a consoling arm around Bowser's immense shoulder.

"Too... fucking... bad..." Ganondorf said, almost stabbing Bowser's chest with his index finger with each word he spelled out.

Bowser let out a frustrated groan as he threw G-Dorf's arm off of him.

"You think this is a game? Nah, man." Ganondorf answered his own question, shaking his head. "We doin' this whether you like it or not. You're droppin' that beat exactly how I told you to do it."

"You can't make me do a damn thing!" Bowser shot back in defiance. "Tell me one thing you can do that would make me want to start that retarded beat."

Ganondorf narrowed his eyes and stared Bowser down for a while. Bowser began to feel tense as silence followed. A murky, uncomfortable silence...

"Peach..." Ganondorf simply stated and let a mischievous smirk take over his face.

Bowser's ears perked up at the sound of the name. "What about her?" He demanded.

Ganondorf's smirk evolved into tooth-bearing grin foreshadowing cruel intentions.

All while staying silent. Deviously silent...

"You better not plan on doing anything to Peach. That's _my_ hostage." Bowser said, defensively. "Just because Zelda's not your captive anymore doesn't mean I'm gonna share mine."

"You don't gotta share wit' me, man." Ganondorf assured. "I usually jus' _take_ what I want."

"You're not taking her from me." Bowser snarled.

"Then that means you're doin' the beat, right?" Ganondorf inquired. "Trust me, I can easily take yo' dame and make you watch what I do to her. You don't want that. Shit, _I_ don't want that." He admitted, shaking his head. "You're my boy, and I wouldn't wanna put you through some shit like that. But if that's what I gotta do, then that's what I'm gonna do. So the choice is yours. We can do this the way everyone likes, or the way only _I'll_ like."

Silence followed. A reluctant silence...

Bowser scowled at Ganondorf. He knew his partner in crime's moral limits. Or more accurately, his lack of moral limits. He was the type to do whatever was necessary to get whatever he wanted, no matter how horrible the deed.

After weighing all his options and liking each one less than the one before, Bowser aversely began to play the beat with his own voice.

"**BBBBMMMMMMMMMMM... BBMMMM BBMMMM... BBBBMMMMMMMMMMMM...**"  
"**BBBBMMMMMMMMMMM... BBMMMM BBMMMM... BBBBMMMMMMMMMMMM...**"

Bowser dropped the beat strong and deep, adding as much bass into his voice as he possibly could.

"Awww yeah! This is a head-banger, y'all!" Ganondorf stated, approvingly. He started rhythmically nodding his head as he prepared... "Yo, turn me up! Turn that bitch up! Ugh! Ugh!"

His preliminary verses were done. He was about to begin the main attraction.

_Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!_

_'G' is for the gangsta... Big pranksta... fuck around wit' me; I'll have you feelin' like a wanksta!_

_'D' is for the diabolical... fuckin' horrible... Straight evil lies within, right down to the follicle._

_'O' is for outstandin' oracle makin' heroes hesitant. Hailin' from Gerudo, I be Hyrule's local resident._

_'R' is for the ridiculous, yet simplistic rhymes that I spit. You motha-fuckas can't test me! I got y'all throwin' fits!_

_'F' is for "fuck y'all who don't take me seriously!" Those who think that find themselves dead, seriously!_

_Now y'all better put the pieces of the puzzle together. The letters stick to yo' brain closer than birds of a feather._

_Check the acronym I created all in prime rhyme time. What the hell else can I do? I jus' proved that I'm..._

_The Man._

_I'm the man, son! I'm G-Dorf! Ain't nothin' left to say!_

_G-Dorf's the man, son! Ugh! Ugh!  
G-Dorf's the man, son! Ugh! WHAT?!  
__  
G-Dorf's the man, son! Ugh! Ugh!  
G-Dorf's the man, son! Ugh! COME ON!!_

_G-Dorf's the man, son! Ugh! Ugh!  
G-Dorf's the man, son! Ugh! YO!_

_G-Dorf's the man, son! Ugh! Ugh!  
G-Dorf's the man, son! Ugh! LET'S GO!!_

"Yo, B-Boss, cut that beat! That shit was BRILLIANT!!" Ganondorf boasted while gangsta-stepping around the room. He was beaming with self-accomplishment. "We gotta get this on tape, man! Everyone in the world has to hear this little piece of Heaven I created!" He stomped his foot every-so-often to stress his point further.

Bowser enthusiasm could be measured by his silence. His remorseful and regretful silence... His beat, along with G-Dorf's rhymes, had created a monster more frightening and more menacing than Ganon: Ganondorf's ego. Ganondorf always had an inflated ego, but now that he was convinced that he was the prime rapper of his world (and perhaps the universe), there would be no convincing him otherwise.

"Yo, we gonna go places, man! Why the hell you still lookin' like that for?" Ganondorf wondered, noticing Bowser's still-troubled expression. "We're about to get paper! I'm talkin' riches beyond what you though what riches! With the cash we'll have, we don't even have to be in this kidnappin' bullshit no more. In fact, I'm about to just kick them broads out my castle! You know how many new broads we'll have? And we won't even have to force 'em to do nothin'!" Ganondorf was beside himself with glee. He hadn't been this happy since he stole the Triforce of Power and last ruled over Hyrule.

"Were you listening to the same rhymes that I was? Because what I heard was complete crap!" Bowser exclaimed. "We'll be the laughing stocks of Hyrule, Mushroom Kingdom, and anywhere else this might be heard! I still have a reputation to hold. You do, too! We're supposed to be untouchable forces of evil! Not a piss-poor rap group!"

"My man..." Ganondorf started. "I am so confident that our shit will sell, it's not even funny. You see a smile on my face? You hear anyone laughin'? No? That's because I'm that confident that our shit will sell. It's not jus' here... The entire world ain't laughin' because of how serious I am."

"What the hell? You mean to tell me there is no laughter at all in the world?" Bowser asked, simply verifying that he heard what he just heard.

"You godamn right! I'm that serious. I got the world in the palm of my hand." Ganondorf claimed, clenching his fist.

Silence followed. A perplexed and bewildered silence...

"Aight, I'ma go find a tape to put this hit on." Ganondorf paused. "This hit... Godamn, that feels good to say! You go grab Zelda and Peach. We gonna need an audience to approve of our shit, right? I already know they're gonna wanna bone after this." Ganondorf confidently stated and was about to go in search of a tape to record with. "After we're through wit' them, I'ma get down on comin' up with your acronym. It's gonna be jus' as hot as mine." He assured.

"Excellent..." Bowser "so enthusiastically" muttered. He sluggishly left the recording room and went in search of Peach and Zelda.

* * *

"We're here." Tanaka announced as he slowed the Red Fire to a halt.

The building the three came upon was small. Very small. It was simply a one-story office building that might be able to pass for a futuristic corner store. ...in the middle of nowhere.

"This isn't what I was expecting..." Mario said, surprised by the building's appearance and location.

"You're telling me." Luigi whole-heartedly agreed. "For a group that has something as amazing as time-travel technology, their headquarters aren't exactly incredible..."

"And if you had something as amazing as a means of time-travel, wouldn't it make sense to be as inconspicuous as possible?" Tanaka pointed out. "There are thousands, upon thousands, upon thousands of people who would love to change the past or see their future as we speak."

"That's true..." Luigi realized. "So this is the Time Patrol Headquarters..."

"A time machine is somewhere in there... Nothing will stop me from getting to the future." Mario guaranteed with iron determination.

Luigi was somewhat impressed. Tanaka still marveled at Mario's desire to dive into a situation that could have a cataclysmic effect on the rest of his life.

"Wow, Mario. The last time you were this enthusiastic was the first time we had to save Peach. Were you that enthusiastic when you were coming to save me?" Luigi wondered.

"Actually... no. I was about to quit and go home. I think I was going to cry myself to sleep, too." Mario casually replied.

"Yeah, right." Luigi chuckled as if it was a joke. If only he knew... "Well, we better get inside and start the search. I'm pretty there's more to this place than meets the eye..."

"Very true, Luigi." Mario agreed. He then turned to Tanaka. "You have no idea how grateful I am. We're in your debt."

"This is the least I can do. I am responsible for Link being apprehended to begin with." Tanaka said. "If you do succeed... No, no. _When_ you two rescue Link, please find a way to contact me. I will be praying for your success in the meantime."

"Don't worry, Tanaka. We'll be seeing each other again soon." Luigi assured.

Tanaka began heading back toward the Red Fire. "Oh, before I go..." He started. "What are you going to do about the Red Fire? You can't exactly take it with you..."

"We'll be seeing you again, right? Look after it for us." Luigi requested.

"Are you sure? This is your prized vehicle..." Tanaka pointed out.

"Link trusted you, so we do, too. Just don't let Falcon drive it or anything." Mario winked.

"Affirmative." Tanaka cracked a smile. "I guess this is farewell..."

"For now." Mario added.

With that, Tanaka returned to the Red Fire and sped off into the horizon until he was out of sight. Only Mario, Luigi, and the deceiving Time Patrol Headquarters were left behind.

"Heh, 'don't let Falcon drive it'." Luigi giggled. "I thought we were going to meet him here."

"We both know those two guys we left him with aren't the types to go down with just a Falcon punch." Mario said. "He's going to be fighting for a while. And when he's finally done, we'll be long gone..."

"Yeah..." Luigi realized. "For a second, I actually expected Falcon to be here before us. We've been hanging out with him for too long."

Mario let out a chuckle. "So, my brother... how should we go about getting in? We can't exactly walk in through the front door..."

"There's no easy way to sneak in either. A one-story building can't have that many hidden entrances, if any..." Luigi said.

They stood by, ceaselessly thinking of a way to get in undetected.

"I got it!" Luigi exclaimed. "We're plumbers, right? And they have to have bathrooms, right? Let's just go in there and act like we're here to clean out the pipes or something."

"Do you really think that'll work?" Mario doubtfully inquired. "Besides, I sort of don't want them to see my face or hear my voice. Just in case something goes wrong, I don't want to be easily identified."

"Then we'll disguise ourselves." Luigi suggested.

"I don't think there are any costume shops around here..." Mario pointed out.

"Don't need one." Luigi stated.

Then literally from out of nowhere, Luigi pulled out the item that helped him survive his ordeal in his own mansion: the super-vacuum called Poltergust 3000. Mario just stood there in awe of how random what he just witnessed was.

"I only have two questions: how and why?" Mario asked.

"Professor E. Gadd is a genius! He made it so that I can safely store this wherever I want, and with just a thought I can summon it whenever I need it." Luigi explained. "That was the 'how', now here's the 'why': this is part of the disguise."

"There's still the problem of them seeing us." Mario said.

"Well, I did say this was only part of the disguise..." Luigi reminded him.

Suddenly, without saying a single word, Luigi flipped on the power to the Poltergust and pointed it at Mario. The vacuum's suction was unexpectedly strong, as Mario was sucked in without even getting the opportunity to resist.

"That was easier than I thought!" Luigi exclaimed. "Now for step two..." He murmured to himself and pushed a button on the Poltergust's side.

There was a screen on the side facing Luigi. It suddenly flickered on and displayed the contents of the vacuum bag: one human Italian plumber. His signature red "M" was displayed to show that he was, in fact, in the vacuum.

"Alright! Everything's working out smoothly, so far. Just one more step..." Luigi said as he pressed a combination of buttons.

The "M" on the screen began to flash different colors: red, green, purple, and yellow in that order. Slowly, the colors began to alternate faster and faster until it looked like the letter was just flashing silver. As the colors flashed, the actual Poltergust began to tremble and a whirring sound was emitted. On the screen, the "M" could be seen rotating slowly. When the letter was rotated 90 degrees, the colors began to alternate slower and slower until they were differentiable again. The "M" halted its slow rotation when it was upside-down, looking like a "W". The colors also stopped alternating and stopped on yellow. The Poltergust's whirring and trembling finally came to a close and a small "ding" rang from the vacuum.

"Done like dinner! Now let's see how he likes his disguise..." Luigi said to himself and pressed a button labeled "eject".

With a loud "pop", Mario was spat out from the vacuum's innards. He lied on his back, completely dazed from the process he went through. There was a lot of spinning involved...

"I feel sick..." Mario queasily complained.

He first noticed that his voice sounded different. It was a deeper and rougher than his normal voice. Mario then proceeded to pick himself off the floor. To his surprise, it was difficult! As he was struggling to rise, he looked left and right to his arms. They were shorter than usual. He also noticed his shirt sleeve was yellow. Last he remembered; he was wearing a red undershirt.

"Luigi, what kind of disguise is this? I don't feel like myself at all. I don't even sound like myself!" Mario said, finally managing to get to his feet.

He also noticed he was heavier, now that he was on two feet, and he was a little bit taller. He surveyed the rest on his body and saw that he was definitely not himself.

"Wow... Excellent disguise! It's flawless!" Luigi exclaimed. "E. Gadd really outdid himself with this upgrade. If I wasn't the one who gave you this disguise, I'd truly believe you were Wario."

"...what?" Mario paused as Luigi's words sunk in. "No you didn't. You probably just disguised me as my old self when I was a little heavier. I wasn't always so slim..."

"Mario, you were always a little pudgy to begin with..." Luigi pointed out. "And trust me, right now as we speak, you are the spitting image of Wario."

Mario's stomach turned upon Luigi's words.

If there was anyone that could contest Bowser's spot as Mario's arch-nemesis, it was Wario. Ever since he first encountered his bizarre knock-off, they've had a bitter rivalry. Wario was hell-bent on proving he was better than Mario in every conceivable way, shape, and form. From golf tournaments, to grand prixes, to tennis face-offs, to even simple party games, Wario always made it his priority to beat Mario.

Or at least try...

Even though Wario had the determination, he lacked the ability. This was the annoying part. No matter how many times Wario attempted and failed to get the best of Mario, he kept trying, knowing fully well that his attempts were in vain.

"Luigi, I should kill you..." Mario quietly, but ruefully, uttered. "You know how much I hate him. How could this possibly seem like a good idea?"

"Think about it this way..." Luigi started. "If you ever do get into some real trouble, and then somehow manage to escape, the cops will still be after you, right? But if they mistake you with Wario, then they'll be after him instead!"

Mario meditated on this thought for a second. It made all the sense in the world. His disguised eyes lit up as he realized this.

"See, I figured if we mess up, we can still afford to get Wario into trouble, somehow." Luigi concluded.

"I should stop jumping to conclusions. Smart thinking, little brother." Mario commended. "Just one problem: what about you?"

"You're disguised as Wario, so who else would I be?" Luigi rhetorically questioned.

"Wario" nodded as he knew exactly what the answer was.

"Let me show you how to work this thing, and then we'll be ready to roll." Luigi said as he proceeded to instruct Mario on how to operate the disguise expansion of the Poltergust 3000.

He explained it quickly and clearly, as Mario now had the vacuum's tube in his hand, ready to begin the "operation".

"You ready?" Mario asked.

"As I'll ever be." Luigi readily replied.

Mario turned on the vacuum, and in an instant, Luigi was gone; sucked into the gullet of E. Gadd's creation.

"Whoa!" Mario gasped, surprised at the vacuum's power. "Okay, let's see if I remember this correctly..."

Mario pushed a combination of buttons just as Luigi explained to him earlier. Promptly, a green "L" showed up on a screen on the Poltergust's side. Mario pressed another set of buttons, and the "L" began to flash colors just as his "M" did. As the colors switched between green, purple, yellow, and red, the vacuum began trembling and making a whirring sound and the "L" began rotating. A few short minutes later the "L" was now upside-down, looking like a purple "Γ". The Poltergust let off a "ding" sound and the newly-disguised Luigi was spit out.

"Welcome back, Luigi. Or should I say, Waluigi." Mario greeted his brother.

Luigi got up much quicker than Mario did when he was transformed. Luigi stood full height and noticed he was a little taller. He was also extremely skinny and light-weight for his height.

"This body is going to take some getting used to..." Luigi muttered with his new voice; a little higher pitched, and more nasal than his original voice. "And I'm definitely not going to get used to this guy's color scheme... Black overalls and a purple undershirt just don't work for me..."

"Please don't complain about how bad you have it..." Mario requested, annoyed at Luigi's bickering. "Live in Wario's body for a little while, then tell me how bad you really have it. He's so out of shape... Just standing here is making me lose my breath!"

"Then hopefully we won't have to do a lot of footwork. Are you ready to go in?" Luigi said, as he strapped the Poltergust to himself like a backpack and headed toward the front door of the Time Patrol's Headquarters. He nearly toppled over when he strapped the vacuum on, though. Luigi overestimated Waluigi's strength. "Whoa! This thing isn't supposed to be this heavy! Waluigi is weak!"

"Need some help then?" Mario offered. Even though Wario was out of shape, he was still strong. Surprisingly strong. Handling a vacuum would be equivalent to carrying air.

"No, that's alright. I'll manage. Waluigi needs to build up some muscle anyway." Luigi said, walking on with Mario following.

The two entered through the front door. To continue with the façade that nothing pivotal was happening behind the doors of the facility, a simple front desk was propped twelve feet from the front entrance. Behind the desk sat a burly security guard, dressed in a white jumpsuit. He didn't seem to be armed, but one could never be too careful...

"I don't think this'll go well..." Mario whispered as they neared the guard.

"What makes you say that?" Luigi asked.

"Take a good look at that guy's face." Mario pointed out.

The guard looked as if he just saw an extinct species resurrected right before his eye. With every step the brothers took toward him, his eyebrows rose higher and higher in disbelief.

"What is his problem? He looks like he's never seen a plumber before." Luigi said.

"Have you ever considered that?" Mario pointed out. "It's the 26th century. They probably have robots or something to handle menial tasks like plumbing. I'm pretty sure our kind is an extinct species..."

Luigi's pace slowed almost to a stop. He never considered the possibility that there may be no such thing as a plumber anymore. At least, no such thing as a human plumber...

"Holy crap... You're right!" Luigi exclaimed. "Then what do we do now?"

"Just act natural." Mario suggested. "We've already come this far, so there's no looking back now."  
Luigi simply nodded and forced a smile on his face as they reached the front desk. Mario and Luigi, and the guard simply stood facing each other. An awkward silence lingered as they stared each other down.

"Ummm... May I... uhhh... help... you?" The guard unsurely stammered.

"We're just responding to an earlier call." Mario said. "One of the bathrooms is supposed to be completely clogged, so we're here to clean it up."

"I'm... pretty sure I would have been notified if someone was coming in for something like that." The guard responded. "And I don't know what century you two come from, but we have robots to handle of stuff like that. There's no need for guys like you anymore."

"Well, apparently there is if you guys called us." Luigi countered. "See, we don't actually unclog toilets the way you think..." Luigi then paused to think of a reason "guys like him" were still around. "We... unclog... robots! From toilets!"

The security guard's eyebrows were about to rise off of his forehead at this point as he stared a hole of disbelief through Luigi's face. Mario slowly turned his head to his little brother. This was news to both of them.

"Don't look at me like that! Seriously, we unclog robots." Luigi stressed. "Even in this day and age, nothing is perfect, right? Sometimes... there's an error in the robot's internal... systems. And they end up flushing themselves down the drain. It's a common malfunction."

"It is?" Mario asked. Luigi responded by kicking him in the shin. "Yeow! I mean... Yeah! It happens all the time."

The guard just leered at them. They both gave back a toothy grin.

"Okay... Let me just check with the inner security. Wait right here." The guard said and began to walk off.

Mario and Luigi shot each other worried glances. They'd definitely have some problems if the guard found out it was all a lie.

"Now what?" Mario asked quietly. He knew this wouldn't end well when the security guard returns.  
"Desperate times call for desperate measures..." Luigi stated as he turned on the Poltergust and gripped the tube with both hands. He then chased after the guard, who just turned a corner.

The security guard stopped in front of a seemingly ordinary wall. He waved his right hand slightly. A block in the wall rotated, revealing a spot that looked like a hand print. Before he placed his hand in the hand print, he heard the sound of a vacuum behind him. It seemed as if the sound was coming closer and closer behind him. The guard turned around just in time to see "Waluigi" charging at him at full speed with the vacuum tube pointing right at him. Before the guard could even react, he got sucked in.

"Luigi!" Mario shouted out, running after his brother.

It definitely was no easy task running around as Wario. Too much weight and not enough energy. He finally caught up to Luigi, just in time to see the Poltergust sputter. Weird black smoke began to pour from the nozzle.

"Is that supposed to happen?" Mario wondered.

"No..." Luigi muttered as he stared at the tube in confusion.

Suddenly, the body of the Poltergust, which was firmly strapped to Luigi's back, jerked forward. Luigi fell over and the vacuum fell right on top of him. Immediately afterward, the machine went wild, violently quaking and even flying at one point, all while dragging light-weight "Waluigi" with it. All Mario could do was helplessly watch.

It finally stopped with a "poof" in mid-air, some eight feet above the ground. Both Luigi and the vacuum crashed into the ground. The last thing the Poltergust did was partially spit out the security guard. Only a limp arm stuck out of the vacuum tube.

"Wow... Are you alright?" Mario asked with concern.

"I'm fine... feeling pretty dizzy..." Luigi replied, disorientated.

"Good. Now is the Poltergust alright?" Mario wondered.

Luigi collected himself and un-strapped the Poltergust from his back. He tried pushing a few buttons, but it was no use. All he got was a few deformed squeaks and beeps in response. It was all over for his vacuum.

"This is bad..." Luigi started. "We needed to use to Poltergust to change back to normal."

"You mean we're stuck like this forever?!" Mario exclaimed.

"Maybe... E. Gadd did say something about another way to get out of the disguise." Luigi remembered.

"But you don't remember..." Mario guessed, hoping that wasn't the case.

Luigi only nodded in agreement. Mario sighed in disappointment.

"Things are going wrong already... Will we even make it to the time machine?" Mario sighed. "Probably not. You vacuumed the security guard. And he was the only one here that could've entered."

"I thought you weren't going to jump to conclusions anymore... Look at this." Luigi said after he noticed the guard's arm sticking out of the vacuum tube.

Mario then caught on, and then saw the hand print embedded in the wall. Putting two and two together, the brothers picked up the arm and placed it in the print. Under the hand, a green light slowly flashed and then faded into obscurity. The wall then let out a sound of air releasing and faded out of reality, revealing a doorway. Mario and Luigi carefully looked around and walked through. The wall immediately reappeared behind them. There was definitely no going back now. They stopped right at a three-way hallway.

"Three ways to go..." Luigi stated. "So which way is the right way? There's no asking for directions here."

"We're going to be doing a lot of sneaking around..." Mario started, but faintly heard voiced coming down the hallway to their left. "Someone's coming..."

The disguised duo quickly looked around for a spot to hide. No such luck; there were nothing but doors leading to other rooms which needed a certain ID to gain entry to. They simply just huddled as close to the wall as close as they could. Luckily for them, the hallways were at such an angle that the brothers would be able to see the people coming from that hall, but they wouldn't be able to see them.

The voiced gradually became more audible as they neared the brothers.

"So where are you going?"

"I have to check the Chrono Locator. It hasn't been working like it should. Yesterday, it sent someone to 20th century BC instead of AD. I know all the variables were correct."

The brothers looked at each other with a new hope restored. All they had to do was follow these guys and they'd find the time machine!

"Can you believe our luck?!" Mario excitedly whispered.

"Let's wait until they walk further down. We'll follow them at a distance." Luigi suggested.

The two walking to the time machine, or Chrono Locator, had just passed where Mario and Luigi were standing. Just as the brothers had hoped, the angle of the hallways relative to each other kept them from being seen. The brothers, however, could easily see them. One was moderately tall, while the other was of average height. Both of them were wearing white lab coats. The tall one had blue hair tied back into a short ponytail. The shorter one had auburn hair that wasn't done in any particular style. It looked like he woke up with that hair and never bothered to fix it.

Once they were far enough ahead, the Mario and Luigi quietly crept behind them, making sure to keep as far a distance from them as possible but at the same time not stay so far back to lose them. As they were being stalked unknowingly, the two continued their conversation.

"So how's the chief?"

"He's been doing well. A lot better ever since you left."

"Come on... What I did wasn't that bad!"

"It was bad enough to get you fired, though... I don't even know why you're here. Do you have any idea what can happen to you if you're seen?"

"They'll be begging for me to come back after I make those alterations to the Chrono Locator. With my time off, I've been able to create some serious upgrades!"

"I don't think you should touch it. The chief will have a fit if he finds out you had unauthorized access to the machine."

Mario and Luigi were close enough to hear the voices of the two they were following. As they listened, they couldn't help but feel those voices sounded somewhat familiar...

"The chief will be the first in line to shake my hand! Our quarrels will fly right out the window!"

"He's not going to forget everything that easily. You _did_ coerce his daughter into eloping..."

"She's a full-grown woman! She can make her own decisions!"

"She's sixteen..."

"Where I'm from, women get married at the age of twelve."

"Roy... When are you going to understand that you're not in Pharae anymore? In this world, that's unacceptable. You're lucky the chief only fired you and didn't press charges."

Mario's heart skipped a beat. He knew exactly who Roy was: one of the many combatants from the _Super Smash Brothers Melee_ tournament. Things were looking better and better with every passing second.

"Luigi, did you hear that? That's Roy! From the Smash Brothers tournament!" Mario quietly exclaimed.

Luigi's disguised, narrow eyes widened in amazement.

"Roy?!" He shouted out in surprise; such surprise that he lost control of the tone of his voice and accidentally shouted at a clearly audible level, immediately covering his mouth afterward as if it would muffle the echo.

Mario dove to the side without hesitation, through a conveniently opened room. Luigi followed suit and dove to the side as well, just as Roy turned his head.

"Marth..." Roy uttered, slowly scanning the area behind him. "Who the hell was that?"

"It's probably someone who knows you shouldn't be here." Marth said, checking the area behind him as well.

"Well, if they want me out, they'll have to drag me out." Roy stated.

Marth only shook his head. "They're not going to drag you out if they see you. They're going to drag you into a jail cell."

With that, Marth and Roy continued to walk on. Mario cautiously peeked his head through the doorway to make sure the coast was clear. When he was certain, he stepped out into the hallway and motioned Luigi to follow him.

"Next time, keep your voice down..." Mario suggested.

"Sorry..." Luigi apologetically muttered.

"They weren't walking that fast, so they couldn't have gotten too far away. They're still walking straight down this hallway." Mario said and led the way down the hall.

They broke into a jogging pace in hopes of catching up to Marth and Roy before they get to the Chrono Locator. To their dismay, they arrived at a four-way intersection.

"No! Which way did they go?" Mario wondered.

They suddenly heard a "buzz" coming from their right side, along with two voices.

"Don't tell me you expected your card to work..." They heard Marth faintly mutter.

"Fine. I won't." Roy nonchalantly responded.

The brothers quickly turned to their right and ran down the hallway. Another corner had to be turned. As they neared the corner, the voiced became louder. They slowed down, and cautiously peered their heads around the corner. Their ears lead them in the right direction: Marth and Roy were standing right in front of a metallic gray door.

Marth had just pulled out a card and inserted it into a slot near the door. The door beeped once. Marth then removed the card, flipped it, reinserted it. The door beeped twice. A new panel also appeared on the door: two handprints and a face print. He placed his hands and his face into the prints simultaneously and a green light slowly faded into view, scanning Marth's features. Suddenly, his victory music from the tournament played as an automated feminine voice spoke.

"_Welcome back, Marth. I missed you..._" The unexpectedly sexy cyber voice admitted as the door slowly rose opened.

Roy raised his eyebrow in suspicion at the sound of this. Mario and Luigi also wondered about what they just heard. Even though this was the first time they ever witnessed anything that like that, it just didn't seem right.

Marth only looked back at Roy as if nothing was wrong.

"What?" Marth wondered, shrugging his shoulders. "You know the computer always greets you when you enter the Time Lab."

"Yeah, but that's the first time I ever heard it say 'I missed you'. Especially like that..." Roy pointed out.

"What are you saying?" Marth defensively asked.

"Nothing! Don't get all bent out of shape about it. It's just the first time I heard that." Roy said, still weirded out by his friend's and the computer's... "relationship".

"That was weird..." Luigi murmured. "So how are we gonna get in? Once that door closes, we're out of luck."

"If there is someone watching over us..." Mario started. "...the door closes as slowly as it opens. While those two are getting settled, we'll slip in unnoticed while the door is closing."

"I just hope there aren't anymore scans before you actually get into the room." Luigi sighed. "But for some reason, I feel like there's one more confirmation scan. If I was in charge of a time machine, I'd take all the precautions."

"Let's just hope these guys aren't like you." Mario said.

The door was finally fully opened. Marth and Roy stepped through the door. Mario and Luigi edged around the corner and closer to the doorway. They heard one final beep and another door slide open. The brothers exchanged glances. Even though they didn't say a word to each other, they knew exactly what one another were thinking...

_There's one more confirmation..._

Mario only let out a disappointed sigh.

"Any last minute plans?" Luigi asked as the front door began its slow decent into a closed position.

"There's only one thing left to do..." Mario stated, looking at his clenched fist.

"Charge 'em..." Luigi said, looking down at the floor.

He and Mario prayed they could avoid direct confrontation, but it looked like that wouldn't happen. Even though they knew Marth and Roy, they didn't really _know_ them. During the tournaments, Marth and Roy didn't seem like they wanted to be bothered by any of the other Smash crew. They isolated themselves so much that they went as far as speaking solely in their native tongue, which happened to be very similar to Japanese, pretending they didn't understand English.

The front door was a quarter of the way down. Mario glanced through the doorway to see what Marth and Roy were doing. Both of them were waiting for the confirmation door to open. That door was a quarter of the way up. The doors opened and closed at the same exact rate. By the time the front door would be closed, the back door would be opened.

"Alright, if we're going to do this, it has to be now." Mario said.

"I have a plan..." Luigi said and shared his ideas.

On the other side of the door, Roy was losing his patience.

"If there's one thing I hated about this job, it's all the waiting I have to do before getting into the lab." Roy said. "I mean, this is impractical and ridiculous! We should just duck under the door when it's halfway up."

"Don't you remember what happens when someone tries that? Anyone in that much of a hurry is automatically assumed to be a criminal. The door will automatically shut, crushing the person trying to get through that way." Marth explained. "Not only that, but both of these doors shut and trap whoever-it-is in this area and noxious gas is released to subdue the criminal."

"Oh yeah..." Roy remembered.

On the outside, Mario and Luigi just finished going over their plans, completely unaware of what Marth just said.

"Alright, so basically I run in under the door first and hold it up for you." Mario said, making sure he understood what was going to happen.

"Yeah. And after I'm in, just let go." Luigi added. "I would just say we roll in together, but you're as wide as the doorway."

"See, normally I would laugh, but since I'm Wario, I'm a little offended." Mario admitted. "I'm not that fat..."

"When you see yourself in a mirror, you think again." Luigi teased. "Alright, on my count, we'll go."


	19. So Close, Yet So Far: Part 7

**Act 9****: **_**So Close, Yet So Far**_ (Part 7)

"Alright, tell me again... _How_ long does it usually take for this door to open?" Roy impatiently asked, restlessly tapping his foot.

"This is about right. The combined time of the first door opening and the second door opening is about five minutes." Marth said.

"Five minutes?! More like five eternities!" Roy disagreed.

"Just to put it in perspective, the most basic sex you can have doesn't last more than five minutes." Marth pointed out.

Roy started laughing at that statement. "What kind of sex are you having? Only five minutes? Hehe, that's not long enough. I need way more than five minutes to have fun, if you know what I mean." He said with a sly smile.

"Argh... I was just making a point." Marth groaned, disappointedly. "Forget I even said anything."

Suddenly, the two heard a body tumbling. It sounded like it came right behind them. At the same time, the door they had been staring at for the last minute and a half slammed shut in less than a second. They quickly turned around to see "Wario" struggling to keep the other door from closing. "Waluigi" promptly rolled under the small opening and "Wario" finally relinquished his grasp, letting out relieved sigh as the door slammed shut.

All four of them were now trapped between two iron doors, in a tiny corridor.

"That was unexpected..." Mario sighed out. "The door tried to close faster after I rolled under."

"Of course it did, you idiots! It's part of the security system!" Roy shouted. "Do you have any clue what's going to happen to us now?"

"Relax, Roy." Marth said, pulling back Roy's shoulder. "The system does one final check to see if there are TP personnel trapped."

Just as he said that, a green light began flashing, signifying that it was checking for Time Patrol personnel. The lights continued for a few seconds, the simply ended. Anxious silence followed. Would the computer let them all in?

On both of the side walls, a slot opened up. They remained opened as the four just stood there, waiting for something to happen.

Five seconds went by. Both sides had their eyes fixated on the square slots in the wall...

Ten seconds went by. Both sides too tense to say a word...

Fifteen seconds went by. Both sides starting to grow impatient...

Twenty seconds went by. Both sides wondering why nothing has happened yet...

Twenty-five seconds went by. Both sides wondered which one of them would speak first.

Thirty seconds went by. Roy spoke first.

"So... Who are you guys?" He asked.

"Let's just say you know us from Smash brothers." Luigi replied.

"Doubt it. I've never seen either of you two before." Roy said. "But you know... You do kind of remind me of these two guys... One wore red and one wore green. I forgot their names, though."

"Mario and Luigi?" Marth suggested.

"Yeah! That's who I'm thinking of!" Roy remembered. "You two look like demented versions of them. What is it? Halloween or something?"

"We have our reasons for looking like we do." Mario said.

"Heh heh... 'We do'. Weeeeee doooo." Luigi sang out, giggling afterward.

"That's funny to you?" Mario wondered, surprised at Luigi's sense of humor.

"I don't know why, but it is." Luigi replied, giggling some more.

"Oh crap, it's the gas!" Roy exclaimed.

"No... The computer saw more intruders than personnel... She thinks I'm being held hostage..." Marth speculated.

"She?" Mario cocked an eyebrow.

First the computer had a sultry voice. Now it has a sex... Mario couldn't help but laugh at that.

At the sight of Mario and Luigi laughing, Marth and Roy began laughing too. This wasn't any old laughter. With every glance to one another, the four began laughing harder and harder. This laugh was infectious. The more one was exposed to it, the stronger the effect was. Pretty soon, everyone was doubled over, paralyzed by uncontrollable laughter.

"Oh god, I can't stop laughing!" Mario cackled, rolling on the floor. "What's going on?!"

"I told you already..." Roy choked out, trying to hold back the laughs. "It's the gas! This little area is being filled with it! BWAAAA-HA HA HA HA HAAAA!!"

"Laughing gas?!" Luigi blurted out in between laughs. "No wonder we're all like this! HA HA HAAA!!"

"At this rate..." Marth managed to mutter, concealing his laugh to a petty snicker. "Their won't be enough oxygen left for all of us. And we can't live without oxygen!" He couldn't hold back anymore and let out a deep-bellied guffaw. "Either that, or we'll die from exhaustion."

"How do we stop it?" Mario snickered.

"If we find a way into the lab, the nitrous will be vacuumed out of the environment. We need to get inside." Marth managed to say without laughing. Much...

"The computer wants you inside her hard drive..." Roy taunted, slyly laughing afterward.

"What--hehe--are you talking about?" Marth wondered.

Mario and Luigi were trying as hard as they could to hold back their giggling as Roy continued to taunt Marth.

"Don't you smell it? The computer's lust for you is in the air!" Roy said with his arms raised.

Roy, Mario, and Luigi were crying at this point. It seemed futile to even think about not laughing.

"That's the smell of the gas! It naturally smells sweet." Marth stated.

"Sweet like your cyber-girl!" Luigi shot back.

Everyone but Marth was in tears now.

"You people are so immature. The computer is just a machine to me! That's all!" Marth defended, thoroughly aggravated by the antics against him.

"Oh really?" Roy questioned, with a huge smile plastered onto his face. "If you really don't love your computer the wrong way, then don't laugh."

Mario and Luigi stopped their laughter-crying and stared at Marth when they heard Roy's challenge. All eyes were locked and targeted onto Marth. Despite the immense pressure, Marth didn't fold.

That is, until he felt it.

It started from deep within his gut. Then it moved its way up his esophagus and rested in his throat, getting ready to leap out of his mouth. Marth knew what it was and covered his mouth, fighting to keep the urge within. There was no avail, though. It slipped through his lips and rang through the air. Wild, unstoppable roaring was the caliber of this laughter. Marth dropped to his knees and started pounding the floor, all while cackling so hard and so loud his lungs hurt.

"I hate you, Roy! I hate you so much!" Marth proclaimed in between roars. "If we get out of this alive, I hope you live long enough so all the bad things in life happen to you, and only you!"

Once again, everyone was uncontrollably laughing, all while feeling physically tired and weak. It was also becoming hard to breathe.

"This is it!" Marth laughed. "It's becoming harder to breathe and I'm sure you're all just as exhausted as I am. If we don't think of something, we're finished!"

The four continued to laugh, even though they knew Death was laughing with them. This was unproductive laughter. No one had a clue as to how they could get out.

"Well..." Mario snickered. "At least we'll die happy, sort of!" He followed with uproarious laughter. "They do say laughter is Nature's best drug."

"Then we're all about to die of an overdose!" Luigi threw in, wildly laughing afterward.

Suddenly, everyone stopped laughing. Everyone except Luigi's face became frightfully serious. Luigi, extremely embarrassed, stopped laughing and timidly coughed. That's when Marth let a snicker slip between his lips. This caused everyone to literally fall on the floor, uncontrollably laughing once again.

Another minute of nonstop laughter went by. It progressively grew weaker as time went on. All four of them were reaching their limits.

"Marth, heh... How do these doors handle heat?" Roy wondered while weakly giggling.

"If a fire broke out here, it wouldn't spread past these doors." Marth said, his laughter growing weak as well. "But these doors wouldn't be able to handle a sudden burst of heat. And an explosion would probably destroy them."

"The gas isn't flammable, right?" Roy questioned.

"Right." Marth replied with another weak laugh.

"Man, I wish you told me this earlier." Roy said, and immediately ripped open his lab coat.

On the right side of his hip, a sheath was seen with a hilt sticking out. Roy grabbed the hilt and slowly unsheathed his sword: the Sword of Seals.

"You still carry your sword?" Marth asked with surprised laughter.

"We've been through a lot together. It's like an extension of my body. Wherever I go, my sword goes." Roy explained.

With that, he began charging up massive amounts of energy. His body began to fade into a red color and the air around his sword became wavy. Soon, Roy began flashing red and white, the colors alternating slowly. He continued to charge, the colors alternating faster and faster until Roy was just emitting a blinding light.

"Mighty Sword of Seals... Unleash the power within! FLARE BLADE!!" Roy bellowed as he released all his energy into his sword and slashed at the door leading to the lab with all his might.

A deafening explosion occurred at the tip of Roy's blade, releasing an unbearable wave of heat in that area. The door was immediately disintegrated and a vacuuming sound was heard. It was becoming easier to breathe.

Exhausted, Roy fell to his knees and then fell face forward onto the floor. He was exhausted from the wild laughter earlier. This last-ditch effort took what little energy he had left.

"Roy?" Marth called, inching nearer to Roy's exhausted body.

Marth rolled Roy onto his back. He saw that Roy had fallen unconscious, but would be alright with a little rest. Marth let out a sigh of relief. He carried Roy into the lab and propped him onto a chair, letting him rest for a while.

"Ugh... I never want to laugh again..." Mario complained, holding his stomach. His abdomen was feeling pretty raw. "How are you holding up, Luigi?" He asked his younger brother.

No answer.

"Luigi?" Mario turned to see his brother unconscious as well, and irregularly breathing. "Luigi!" He shouted at him, trying to shake him awake.

Marth heard an outcry and came over to "Waluigi" to see what was wrong with him.

"He breathed in too much gas..." Marth said.

"How could he have breathed in more than us?! We were all in there for the same amount of time!" Mario shot back.

"He breathed in too much for someone his size. Look at how skinny he is..." Marth pointed out.

"There's gotta be something you can do!" Mario shouted. He didn't want to think of the worst yet.

"I'm no doctor... All I can do is give him some oxygen and hope he can handle it." Marth offered.

"Better that than nothing..." Mario muttered.

They both picked up Luigi's disguised body and bought him into the lab. Marth pulled out a cot for Luigi to lie on and hooked him up to a respirator. Finding nothing better to do, Mario began nervously pacing around the lab.

Silence fell upon the lab. Mario, unable to sit still, paced around the lab, only stopping to check on Luigi's progress. Marth simply began his repairs on the Chrono Locator. Not a word was said until...

"Now would be a good time to clear a few things up." Marth said, breaking the silence. "Just who are you and what are you doing here? You and your partner almost got us all killed! I don't appreciate when people get me into near-death situations..."

Mario was reluctant to tell Marth who he really was. If he told him, someone on the inside of the Time Patrol squad would know who he was. But Marth did help out with Luigi... Mario decided to brush off his hesitations and tell Marth the truth. It seemed like the right thing to do.

"It's us: Mario and Luigi. From the Smash Brothers tournaments..." Mario lowly admitted.

"Don't lie to me." Marth said in disbelief. "I'd like to think the real Mario and Luigi have more sense than you two have. Breaking into a federal facility... What were you thinking?"

"When you've been through as much as us, you start to lose your mind a little. Trust me, it's us." Mario assured Marth.

"I don't believe you. You look more like their evil and bizarre copies." Marth said. "Besides, what reasons would Mario and Luigi have for coming here? They'd be galaxies away from their homeland."

"You don't know the half of it..." Mario sighed. "I'll just tell you the short version: Bowser and Ganondorf kidnapped Peach and Zelda. They aren't hard to find, though; they're in Hyrule. The only problem is getting there. We've been everywhere else _but_ Hyrule. We got here not too long ago."

"Okay. That explains why you're in Mute City. But that doesn't explain why you're _here_: in the Time Patrol headquarters." Marth said.

"We need your time machine." Mario stated. "We have to travel to the 29th century to save another part of our group."

"Who?" Marth asked.

Mario hesitated. He knew Marth must've known something about what happened earlier. He was part of the Time Patrol, after all. Mario had to break the law in order to save Link. He had no idea how Marth would react if he asked him to help.

"Link." Mario muttered.

Marth's eyes narrowed as he glared at Mario.

"Link..." Marth repeated with blatant disgust. "I heard what he did at the Rest Stop. You must be out of your mind if you want me to help you save him."

"Marth, please..." Mario pleaded. "You have to help us. I can handle Bowser on my own, but I don't think me and Luigi combined can take on Ganondorf. We need Link with us." He stressed.

"No." Marth simply replied.

"I don't know how far they'll go, but Peach and Zelda's lives might be riding on this." Mario said. "These are the lives of two princesses we're talking about! If they die, their kingdoms will be in shambles! You're a prince, so you know all this!"

"Are you really trying to send me on a guilt trip?" Marth questioned, seemingly surprised by Mario's lecture. "Are you really trying to make me look like a bad guy? Do I need to remind who the real bad guy is? Link attacked a high-ranking officer, our best one, too, and started a violent riot completely unprovoked. This is the person you're trying to save? This is the person whose help you need? This is the legendary Hero of Time?" He repeatedly asked, with his voice growing more and more upset with each statement.

Mario could only look down at the floor. Marth had a good point. No matter which way you looked at it, Link was wrong. Completely wrong. He couldn't even think of an argument to defend him. It seemed like Link got mind-bogglingly drunk and went crazy. If only they knew what provoked it all...

"Link deserves whatever he gets." Marth continued. "He's a sorry swordsman, anyway. He has no form or discipline. It's like he found a sword as a child and just started swinging it however he wanted. I've never seen anyone more reckless with a weapon than him. And Zelda entrusted the safety of Hyrule to Link? No wonder she's been kidnapped by Ganondorf! You're better off leaving him and hiring a new hand."

Marth and Link had an insanely heated rivalry in the Smash tournaments, first beginning when Link eliminated Roy in the first round. Marth was so surprised that he challenged Link to a duel after hours, off the books. Link accepted, of course, and they battled in Final Destination. It was a very close match; they matched each other blow-for-blow, but in the end, Link edged out thanks to a desperate Spin Attack. Marth had been so surprised by not only the move, but that fact that he had been beaten, that he looked at Link as an inferior swordsman and refused to recognize Link's skill as a swordsman. From then on, they couldn't stand each other.

"Listen Marth..." Mario began, his eyes locked onto Marth's. "You may hate Link and you may think he deserves what he has coming to him. And you know what? Maybe he does. But I don't care." He stated, spelling out those last four words. "We've been through all types of hell together and we survived. We literally dodged a meteor! He can dodge a meteor, but he gets caught by the cops because of stupidity. I can't let him go like that. And I know he'd do the same for me. I'm going to the future. With or without your help."

"It sounds like your ready to fight for this." Marth speculated as he stared back with equal intensity. "Is that really what you want?"

"If that's what we have to do..." Mario muttered back, clenching his fists.

"So this is the famous Mario..." Marth said. "Quick to fight and save the day. Just like a typical hero... Fine, I'll fight you. But I swear by my sword, the Falchion, you will not pass me."

Mario psyched himself up. It seemed there was no other way. He'd have to fight for the right to save Link. Normally, he wouldn't be so nervous about a battle, but Mario literally wasn't himself. He knew he had the upper hand on strength, but he had no idea what type of moves Wario had in his arsenal. Other than the last time he was in the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario and Wario hadn't fought.

That was actually the least of his worries, though. Mario was actually very concerned about speed. In the transformation, Mario lost more than half of his normal speed. And now, he had to fight one of the fastest opponents he had ever faced. In his normal body, he had a tough time merely keeping up with Marth. He was going to have a lot of fun with this one...

"You ready?" Mario uttered, assuming a fighting stance.

It was difficult to get into a ready position. Mario still wasn't used to Wario's body.

Marth simply turned his back to him.

Mario stared at the back or Marth's head in confusion.

_...is he giving me the first hit? Is just toying with me? Underestimating me?! He better not be... Even if I am twice my own weight and half my speed, I'm not to be underestimated. Never! He'll regret that!_

Immediately cutting his thought process, Mario launched himself at Marth, jumping as high as he could. He was going to introduce the back of Marth's head to both of his fists, balled up tightly together into an ax-handle smash. On the jump, Mario was surprised at the height he got: almost as much as what he would get in his own body. Once he reached the apex of the jump, Mario began to fall towards Marth. Everything felt like it went into slow-motion. Closer and closer he inched until he was at the optimum distance to drop his fists on Marth. Mario reared back his arms and swung down as hard as Wario's strength allowed him to.

That's when Marth finally turned around. For a split second that seemed like an eternity, Mario and Marth stared each other dead in the eye. Mario's fists were still dropping, seemingly breaking the sound barrier as they came closer to Marth's cranium.

Just as Mario's fists dropped past his eyebrows, Marth flashed a devious and confident smirk. Literally a nanosecond after the smirk, Mario felt one swift slash across his gut. It was so fast; it sent him spinning in place like a cyclone. Suddenly, he felt a hit equivalent to a megaton hammer pound his entire body. It sent him flying into one of the walls of the lab, but not before sending him through a variety of lab equipment. He slammed forcibly into the wall, sticking on momentarily before simply dropping onto the floor.

Mario remained motionless on the floor, partially because his body couldn't comprehend any other bodily function except thinking. Thinking about how unbelievable what just happened was.

The last he remembered, he was about to land the first attack. Marth had his back to him and was completely unarmed. Yet somehow, he was attacked first with a sword, and then what felt like a block used to build pyramids with. No matter which way he looked at it, it just didn't make any sense!

"That's it?" Marth disappointedly muttered.

Mario finally regained his senses, slowly and gingerly rising to his feet. He looked over to Marth, and was surprised by two new items that were now in his hand. In his right hand, his divine sword and trusted ally, the Falchion. In his left hand... a gun?

"A gun?" Mario gasped in bewilderment.

If Mario knew anything about Marth's homeland, he knew that there were no such things as guns over there. Somehow, not only did Marth have a gun, but he appeared to be extremely skilled with it. To Mario, this was unheard of: a swordsman like Marth yielding a gun...

Suddenly, Mario realized he had been shot! But he didn't feel any excruciating pain from a wound... He didn't even feel any pain from the slash he received. He double-checked his body just to be sure.

Nothing.

He then looked up to Marth, his face screwed up in confusion. Marth gave back a satisfied smirk.

"The reason why there's no slash mark is because of this softener covering the blade. As long as this is on, my sword won't deal any fatal wounds." Marth explained.

Mario looked at the Falchion and noticed it didn't shine like he remembered it did. There was definitely something over the blade. While he was glad he was still able to fight, he hated the fact that Marth was holding back. Mario wouldn't hold back or underestimate anyone he was fighting, so he expected his opponents to do the same for him.

"As for my gun..." Marth lifted his black and white gun parallel to his head and pointed it upward. "This is a T-15 Popgun; an upgrade of the Time Patrol standard, T-13. The original model can fire nine pulse shots or one fully charged shot. My model can shoot five fully charged shots without charging. This gun also doesn't need ammunition; it simply needs thirty seconds to recharge after all shots have been fired." He explained. "Another special feature is that this gun will not kill you, but does pack a punch, as you've seen."

Mario couldn't believe what he was up against. From close range, Marth had a sword that could deal quick and heavy damage. From long-range, he could be blown away without even getting a chance to get close. But he did have one thing working in his favor: after five shots from that gun, he'd have a thirty second window of opportunity get close and deal some heavy damage of his own to Marth. Even though it didn't seem like much time, with Wario's strength, thirty seconds is all that Mario needed.

But one thing Mario wondered was why Marth told him all this info about his gun. Before Marth said anything, Mario had planned to take cover and force Marth to be the aggressor. With this new information, Mario's new plan seemed to be the better of the two.

"Why are you telling me this?" Mario asked.

"We're not enemies. And to be truthful, you don't pose any threat to me." Marth admitted. "You're in way over your head. Take my suggestion and just leave. I'll pretend this whole thing never took place. Don't forget that you are in a federal facility. The only reason this lab isn't swarming with Time Patrol officers is because I'm letting this continue"

Mario couldn't stand it anymore. He really was being underestimated. Normally, Mario wouldn't be so enraged. He'd just play it cool and prove his doubtful opponent wrong. But this was a rage Mario never felt before. A rage that wasn't even his...

He didn't realize it, but when Mario transformed into Wario, he took more of his character traits than he thought. That included Wario's inflated ego, short temper, and unreasonable persistence.

Clenching his fists, Mario said nothing and charged at Marth. Marth responded by firing the T-15 at "Wario's" feet. The shots from the T-15 were nowhere near as fast as a typical bullet, but they were still fired at a decent projectile velocity. The shots were also easy to see: an orange ball of energy came with every shot. Mario saw the oncoming shot and hopped directly over it, still on a collision course with Marth. He sailed flawlessly over the shot, but did not anticipate one thing...

Blast radius.

The moment the orange orb hit the floor, it erupted into an orange hemisphere that was four feet in radius. It also packed a heavy aftershock.

Mario was immediately blown forward toward Marth, who was waiting for him with his sword reared back behind him, looking like he was ready to swing at any second.

Everything felt like it slowed to slow-motion once again.

When Mario was in just enough range for the tip of Marth's sword to hit, Marth began his attack. It was as if Marth's arm was being held back by an elastic band, and it was just cut. He swung his arm fully outstretched in a vertical arc. Mario watched every single frame of Marth's fluid motion. He could literally count down to the moment of impact.

Five...

Four...

Three...

Two...

One...

In the Smash tournaments, the tip of Marth's blade was the strongest part of it. It was no different here.

Marth slashed Mario's gut. Immediately, Mario was sent flying into the ceiling of the lab. He crashed off one of the tiles and plummeted down to the steel-meshed floor, landing with a hard bounce.

Mario was definitely winded after that blow, to say the least. He very slowly rose to his feet and sluggishly began to charge at Marth again. This time, Marth simply shot him directly in the forehead. Mario peeled out, doing a double-backflip before landing on the back of his head.

Mario laid there in a daze. He was getting the crap beaten out of him, and he hadn't even laid a finger on Marth yet. But on a positive note, Marth only had two shots left with the T-15 before it had to recharge. If he could survive those last two shots, he was sure he could finish Marth.

But there was one question he kept asking himself.

Could _I survive two more shots? Marth said the shots don't kill. That's a lie. If I get shot one more time, I don't think I'll get up... I need to get that gun out of his hands. Maybe if I work on his ego..._

Mario once again rose to his feet. He felt like the world was spinning under him as he struggled to maintain the balance to merely stand up straight.

"Look at you." Marth muttered. "You can barely stay vertical. Are you that anxious to end up next to your partner?"

"Shut up. You're not as good as you think you are. You're probably so dependent on that gun; you forgot how to fight without it." Mario taunted. "Take it back to Smash Brothers. Lose the gun."

"It won't make a difference if I use this gun or not. You're not skilled enough to fight me." Marth said. "If you truly were Mario, you'd understand that. I doubt the Mario I know would be so thick-headed."

At that moment, Mario realized what he had been doing. The combination of his determination to get to the future and save Link, and Wario's incapability to realize when he's been beaten had turned him into the type of person he hated:

The person that acts before he thinks.

Mario stood face-to-face with Marth. He couldn't exactly start acting like himself now. It wouldn't change Marth's view of him at all. As far as he was concerned, he really was fighting Wario, right now. Mario could only continue to fight and hope to pull off a win, but deep down, he knew it was hopeless with this body. Mario just couldn't get used to it.

"I still want to know..." Mario said, finally responding to Marth's earlier statement. "Will you fight me without the gun?"

Marth stared at "Wario" for a bit. This kind of persistence amazed him. Marth was sure "Wario" knew he was outclassed in every single statistic. Why he continued to fight was beyond his comprehension. But he felt compelled to show him that with or without a gun, he was the better fighter. He wasn't doing this for himself, but for his opponent. This was like granting a dying man his last wish.

Marth tossed his gun to the side, close to Roy's still-unconscious body. He then pointed the tip of his sword toward Mario.

Mario could only smile. He actually had a chance now. He assumed a fighting stance and stared Marth down before beginning his onslaught. He was actually hoping Marth would try for the first strike.

They actually stood there, staring menacingly at each other, for over a minute. It was painstakingly clear that Marth wasn't making the first move. He'd stand there all day if he had to.

Mario finally made the first move, fearlessly charging toward his opponent. Marth remained where he was, still with his sword pointed outward. Mario was within punching range, now. He reared back his fist, preparing for a mighty blow, and swung forward, aiming for Marth's head. Suddenly, Marth snapped into action, parrying the fist with his sword. While Mario stumbled, Marth grabbed his shoulder and used it as leverage as he somersaulted over his opponent and ended up behind him.

He then dealt four skillful blows with his sword.

First hit: a downward slice, causing Mario to flinch and spin around quickly to face him.

Second hit: a weak stab to the stomach, though strong enough to cause Mario to double over in pain.

Third hit: Marth somehow smacked Mario with the face of the Falchion and made him bounce off the ground, and helplessly into the air.

Fourth and final hit: Marth spun around and slashed Mario's entire body with all his might.

Mario flew back from the final blow of Marth's Dancing Blade and landed on the floor with another bounce. Marth kept up his attack, pursuing his helpless opponent. He made a running slash at "Wario" and knocked him into the air again, a little over his head. This was followed by a Dolphin Slash, causing Marth to launch himself into the air at a very quick speed with his blade out.

Before Marth could connect with the Dolphin Slash, Mario had regained control of himself, and somehow managed to literally punch the Falchion out of Marth's hand. As the two floated in through the air, they watched as the sword flipped several times before it hit the ground and lodged itself into the mesh.

Marth's pupils dilated in astonishment as he turned to Mario. Mario still stared at the planted sword in disbelief. Without his sword, Marth was absolutely nothing. The scales just dramatically tipped in Mario's favor. He looked back at Marth and gave him a triumphant smile.

They both finally landed on the ground. Marth immediately made a mad dash for his divine blade. Unfortunately for Marth, he had to get through Wario's immense girth before he could get to his weapon. "Wario" tackled Marth, knocking him further away from his sword, and laid on top of him. As Marth struggled to get away, "Wario" smiled with vicious intent.

Mario quickly hopped up, holding Marth with one arm, and then belly-bumped him into a wall. He suddenly remembered a move Wario tried on him in their last encounter. As Marth leaned against the wall, catching his breath, Mario stuck his shoulder out and charged at the helpless Marth. He connected flawlessly, literally knocking the spit out of his adversary.

Marth sunk to his knees, holding his stomach in pain and anguish.

Mario proceeded to grab Marth and put him in the same move the real Wario almost finished him with. Mario flipped Marth upside-down and leaped into the air with him. At the height of the jump, they began their downward decent, spiraling toward the floor. This would be the final blow of the battle. Mario had this in the bag.

Until he was shot in the side by Marth's T-15 Popgun in mid-spiral...

At that precise moment, "Waluigi" finally woke up from unconsciousness. He was just in time to see "Wario" flying toward him, two seconds away from landing right on top of him. Luigi simply sighed as his brother crashed right onto him and broke through the cot he had been lying on.

"I'm guessing you and Marth are, in a way, fighting for the future?" Luigi said, straining his words as he mustered all his possible strength to get Mario off of him.

Mario simply rolled off of Luigi and onto his back, gasping for air as the blast knocked the wind out of him. He simply stared into a ceiling light as he wondered one question.

_How?_

Right then, a silhouette appeared in Mario's field of vision. As Mario's eyes focused on the silhouette, he made out a face. A face with wide blue eyes. A face with relatively young features. A face that had the intent of helping his friend in any way possible.

A face that belonged to Roy.

He had also awakened from his unconsciousness. In his right hand, a black and white T-15 Popgun could be seen. Marth's T-15 Popgun...

Another silhouette also appeared in Mario's field of vision. Mario automatically knew who it was.

Marth...

Even though Mario couldn't see it, particularly because he wasn't focused on Marth's face, Marth looked tired and upset; breathing hard as he looked into Mario's disguised eyes.

Suddenly, a bright light reflected into his eye. Mario's eyes darted over to where the light had come from. It led him to Marth's right hand. In his right hand, he held the Falchion, which was gleaming brighter than he had last seen.

This only meant one thing: Marth took off the softener. And there's only one reason Marth would remove the softener: to deal a final fatal blow. Marth pointed his blade right between Mario's eyes.

Mario could only give a weak laugh in response. It looked like it was all over for him.

Luigi had risen to his feet beforehand, once Mario had rolled off of him. At this moment, he was simultaneously speechless and helpless. He only watched in silence as Marth raised his blade, preparing to deliver the finishing blow. Mario closed his eyes, awaiting the worst.

"SSSYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Marth screamed as he swung his blade down into Mario's face.

And stopped millimeters from his nose.

Mario opened his eyes and looked at the Falchion. He could literally smell the power of the blade. He then looked into Marth's eyes. It was inexplicable, but he could tell Marth never had the intention of killing him.

Instead, Marth poked Mario's nose. Nothing comparable to decapitation, but it still stung a little.

"Ouch..." Mario groaned, while rubbing his nose.

Marth then sheathed his sword and made his way to the Chrono Locator. He keyed in a few commands, and with several loud cracks of electricity, a portal opened where the Fabric of Time once was. Marth then just stood by, like he was waiting for something to happen.

"Well? This is what you wanted, isn't it?" Marth impatiently asked.

Mario cautiously rose to his feet, not sure of what to think. Was this really the gate to opportunity? All he had to do was get knocked senseless to get where he needed to go? Something just didn't seem right to him.

"Why are you doing this? I thought you weren't going to let me use the machine." Mario remembered how Marth swore by his blade to not let Mario pass.

"I already told you, we're not enemies. Also, after I started fighting you without my gun, something about you felt different. Familiar, even..." Marth explained. "I'm still not sure whether to believe you're Mario or not, though. And my feelings toward Link haven't changed. The only reason I can think of for why I'm helping you is because a part of me still wants to fight Link once and for all. If the Time Patrol has its way, I won't be able to. I guess I'm counting on you to save him so I can personally put him away."

"That's a weird reason to cooperate..." Roy muttered.

Mario looked over to Luigi, as if he could verify whether Marth was speaking truthfully. Luigi nodded and began walking over to Marth and the Chrono Locator with Mario following. They stopped right in front of the portal, a strong wind blowing from inside nearly knocked their hats off their heads.

"Hold on..." Mario hesitated. "I heard you say this thing was having problems: like it sent someone into the stone-age or something."

"I just made some repairs. You two will be the test subjects." Marth said. "If everything goes well, you'll be able to arrive in this same Time Patrol Headquarters, only in the 29th century. This is where Link is being held."

"What if this doesn't work?" Mario wondered.

"Either you'll end up in 29th century BC, or you'll be lost in a dimensional flux in time, forever." Marth said, gravely.

"I don't think that'll happen. I have a feeling we'll be seeing each other again, soon enough." Roy said.

"I have the same feeling." Luigi agreed.

With that said, Mario and Luigi took a deep breath and stepped into the time portal, hoping for the best.

Hoping they were going exactly where they wanted.

Hoping something would finally go their way...


	20. So Close, Yet So Far: Part 8

**Act 9****: **_**So Close, Yet So Far**_ (Part 8)

"Before the jury presents their final verdict, does the defendant have anything to say for himself?" The judge said.

The judge wasn't exactly what you would expect. It was actually part of a program called Justice 4.0: If Justice is blind, it's because you didn't upgrade.

"I'm guilty. I don't need a jury to tell me that." The defendant defiantly replied.

A quiet murmur stirred up in the audience. It gradually built up into quite a clamor.

During the commotion, the defendant looked over to the jury, glaring at them. These were the people that would decide their fate. He could already tell his outlook wasn't so good, to say the least. As he stared at the jury, some of the jurors glared back at him, looking quite contemptuous. Some of the more outspoken ones mouthed various hints about what the future held for him, as well various threats:

"You're not going to like where you're going..."

"You're gonna burn!"

"I'm so glad I'm not you right now."

The defendant only offered an inconspicuous one-fingered gesture in response.

"Order! Order!" The automated judge demanded.

A compartment opened up, revealing a gavel being held by a cybernetic arm. It pounded the gavel until the viewers quieted down.

"If that is all the defendant has to say, then we will now have the jury's verdict." The judge said.

An overweight, middle-aged man with a comb-over rose from his seat. He wore slightly oversized bifocals and had a double-chin. His skin was also pale and pasty. It was as if the appearance of this man would forecast how the sentence would look.

Ugly...

"We, the jury, find the self-proclaimed Hero of Time, Link, beyond a reasonable doubt..." The man said in a husky and strained voice. "...guilty of all charges."

Link had audibly said the same exact thing simultaneously with the overweight man. The audience roared into a clamor once again, surprised at Link's demeanor.

"Can you believe the audacity of this kid?"

"Who does he think he is?!"

"He deserves whatever he gets."

Link heard all the comments about him. In the grand scheme of things, he really didn't care. But it wasn't that uneventful phone call that robbed him of his general concern for things. It was because everything he ever in his entire life did not matter here in any way, shape or form. This was the 29th century. He was three hundred years into the F-Zero universe's future. Three hundred years away from his friends. And who knows how many years he was from his own timeline in Hyrule. The only things he did that mattered were the bad things. The things they viewed as deplorable.

He was alone here.

Nobody knew him here.

Nobody cared about him here.

Link didn't want to live in a world like this: where he was seen as the scourge of the earth. He hoped for the most severe punishment the 29th century had to offer.

"Order! Order in the court!" The judge shouted, pounding his gavel repeatedly until he got silence. "Link, you have been found guilty of all crimes against you; some of them the most serious crimes you can commit. I have no choice but to sentence you to an eternity of solitude in the Darkness of Time. You will be bought to the portal in two hours. In the meantime, you will be held in the Time Patrol Headquarters where you may have your final visitors, if you have any. Court dismissed." The judge stated slamming his gavel down once.

Excited murmurs rang throughout the court. Some were very satisfied with Link's sentence. Others thought it wasn't enough.

Link was minimally satisfied with the sentence. He would've preferred death. But either way, at least he'd be away from 29th century society. Ever since he arrived, he had been treated like an inferior. It didn't help that he stood out from the crowd, either. His pointy ears weren't exactly a common sight.

As he was escorted out of the court house and into a transport pod to be taken to the Time Patrol Headquarters, began thinking to himself... about random things from...

_Death... I never thought it'd happen this way...__ I live out the rest of my life in the Darkness of Time and possibly die from boredom or starvation... The elders of the Light Temple used to tell me about that place when I was younger. I never took them seriously, though. I thought they just did that to scare me.  
_

To...  
_  
Samus... I miss her so much..._

_Damnit, I just got started with her. Now I'm about to be sent to oblivion... Why do I have such piss-poor luck with the girls? Either I try to get with them and they just deny me access, or I actually do get with them but some madness keeps me from the relationship._

_I shouldn't even be surprised about my luck. As a kid, no girls really liked me..._

_Expect Malon..._

_But I wasn't feelin' her... I think she had too much fun with those farm animals..._

_And Saria..._

_I actually thought she was cute when I was young. But I started growin' up, and she... didn't... It was over before it even started. I wish she could get that fact through her freakin' head..._

_And Ruto..._

_She's a Zora. I'm a human. End of discussion._

_And Nabooru..._

_After I saved her from Twinrova, she started getting kinda close to me. Real close in fact, but I was oblivious to it. She made it so obvious, too. Always feelin' my abs... Touchin' the triceps... Brushin' against me... I wouldn't be surprised if she thought I was gay or something. Everyone but me knew she wanted me. And now that I think of it, she seriously had it goin' on... She probably still does... Nice full lips, sexy eyes, killer body, beautiful face... Nice butt... Heh heh... Man, just thinkin' of her makes me feel like I'm cheatin' on Samus... I'ma just put her outta my mind. She's old news..._

_And Zelda..._

_Zelda..._

_We used to be inseparable. I remember those days. She used to sneak out of the castle at night. I'd meet up with her and we'd chill in the Lost Woods. The Lost Woods looked amazin' at night... On clear nights, we'd sit on the deck of my house and just stare at the stars. I think I started wantin' her as more than a friend on one of those nights. The way the moonlight shined on her... Then she looked at me..._

_Damn..._

_It took seven months to get Zelda to warm up to me on a more intimate level, and she murked everything we had in seven seconds. All I want to do is see her one last time. Just to look into her eyes... I'm not even gonna say nothin' to her. I wanna send her on the guilt-trip of a lifetime. The kind you lose sleep over. Just by gazin' deep into her eyes and not sayin' a damn word. If there's one thing I know about Zelda, it's that she's emotionally fragile. She's gonna feel it hard. If I could do that, I'd be able to die happy. I won't even consider reincarnation. I will have achieved somethin' that's worth a thousand lifetimes of satisfaction._

_Yeah, my luck with the ladies sucked... Seems like it still does... But at least I'll know that I was attractive to someone._

To even...

_Tanaka... I wonder how he's doin'... He's gotta be one of the greatest people I've ever met. I hope he knows I'm not mad at him for callin' the cops. Things just got outta control... I didn't expect all those people backin' me... I'm glad he called when he did. Things coulda been much worse...  
_

But most importantly...  
_  
I wonder who won that race... I'm sure my people could get it done. Falcon may talk greezy, but if he got beat by that kid, he can't be that great._

_But, man, I really effed up... I'm basically bein' sentenced to death... What's Tanaka gonna tell Mario? He looked pretty shaken up about what happened, the last time I saw him. Could he even bring himself to say it? And what would Mario think of me? We kinda became like brothers while we were on that journey. If he knew where I was, would he try to save me? I think he'd try, but there's no way he could reach me._

_Three hundred years apart..._

_That's no joke._

_Even my ocarina can't do three hundred years. And I dunno if 26th century technology is that advanced..._

_I'ma just try to have faith. We've done the impossible. And we did it mad times, too. We can do it again._

His thoughts stopped with his arrival at the Time Patrol Headquarters. During all his time thinking, he had been stuffed into a transport pod and was shipped there. The pod opened automatically. Waiting for him was none other than the very person that had arrested him.

Phoenix Lestrade.

"I get to spend my last hours with you?" Link muttered with a scowl. "It just doesn't get any better, huh?"

Phoenix let out a sarcastic laugh and yanked Link out of the pod, leading him to a holding cell, where he would remain for two hours until he was sent into the far reaches of time and space.

The Darkness of Time.

A place where time stood still. A place where seconds stretched into eternity. A place where there was no return.

A place where there was no return...

* * *

Mario and Luigi, still disguised, stared in awe as they surveyed their surroundings once they stepped out of the time portal.

The "skies" were warped and blended with quite-possibly every color in the spectrum. Periodically, the sky would just fade to black, leaving a huge, empty void. There was no sun, no clouds, no stars, no moon. Needless to say, it looked quite eerie.

At the current moment, they stood in what seemed to be a vast parking lot. There were no cars except for one: a two-seated, red convertible. They made their way over to it. The keys were already in the ignition and the gas was full. It was just begging to be driven.

"That's a pretty nice car." Luigi whistled with raised eyebrows.

"Guh... More driving?" Mario muttered. He was still recovering from his first F-Zero race.

"Take it easy. I'll drive if you want me to." Luigi offered.

"Please do." Mario said, not even bothering to argue.

The two hopped into the car and Luigi started the engine. It revved up with a hum. A pretty sounding hum, at that! They could only expect a smooth ride.

Upon starting the car, a screen popped up on the windshield. A map appeared, mostly leading them on a straight path with a few twists and curves here and there. Below the map, words were displayed:

_Distance from current location to desired destination: 300 years. Recommended speed: 60 months per minute._

"...what?" Mario wondered, confused upon reading those words.

"It's not that hard to decipher. We're traveling through time, right? It's only natural that distance is measured by units of time." Luigi said, beginning to accelerate the car and driving out of the parking lot. "You know that twelve months is a year, and we're going sixty months a minute. That's five years, right?"

"Yeah..." Mario replied, after thinking about it a little bit.

"So we're essentially traveling forward five years every minute. And we're going three hundred years into the future. Divide three hundred years by five years per second, and you'll get sixty minutes." Luigi explained.

"Oooohhh! So it'll take is an hour to get to the 29th century..." Mario said, finally understanding. "I knew that."

"Sure you did." Luigi sarcastically agreed, rolling his eyes. "I dunno if you noticed, but the map also looks like a timeline. That probably means the road to the 29th century is gonna be like a highway."

"Huh, pretty clever." Mario said.

As he said that, they drove up a ramp leading to a long stretch of road. They passed a sign on their way up the ramp:

_21st century – Exit next right  
27th century – 100 years  
29th century – 300 years_

"Yeah, this is exactly like a highway." Mario verified after seeing the sign.

"Highways are made for convenience... It looks like time travel becomes mainstream sometime in the future." Luigi speculated.

"True..." Mario realized. "I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. This is probably the reason why the Time Patrol exists." He then realized another thing. "But if time-travel becomes mainstream in the future, and this highway is connected to the future, then why are we the only ones on the road?"

Those words hit Luigi hard and fast. He glanced around the rest of the highway. Except for himself, his brother, and the red convertible, absolutely no one else was on the road.

"Good question..." Luigi muttered, growing a little tense. "Suddenly, I feel like something horrible is going to happen to us soon. No highway is supposed to be this empty..."

"Hey, don't worry about it. You know how highways get pretty quiet at night sometimes. Maybe we're on this highway at 'night', get it?" Mario assured Luigi with a pat on the shoulder. "Just relax and drive. If you don't think anything bad will happen to us, then it won't."

"Alright." Luigi replied, heeding his brother's words.

He continued on the relatively straight path, cruising no faster than the recommended speed. He still couldn't shake his budding suspicions. Something just didn't feel right. He should've seen at least one other vehicle. No highway should be this empty. None.

_Thirty minutes later..._

The brothers hadn't said a word to each other since their last conversation. Luigi, of course, still kept his eyes on the road, on the lookout for their exit. He still wondered why the road was so clear, but the more he drove; the more at ease his mind became. He thought to himself...

_Maybe Mario's right. Usually, he's the one that thinks of the worst-case scenario. But if he's not worried, then why should I be? Just once, we can get somewhere without going through some life-threatening experience, right?_

In the passenger seat, Mario reclined his seat back and simply stared into the sky, watching the bizarre and unnatural spectacle. There were no objects in the sky at all. It was just a huge empty space filled with all types of colors. Every portion of the sky had a different color; each of them blending into each other. After about five seconds, the entire sky would fade to black. Five seconds after that, color would return to the sky; every portion now a different color.

It was truly a sight to behold. The last time Mario saw something so beautiful in the sky was when he was in the coliseum with Link, when Sephiroth parted the clouds and revealed a clear and untainted view of space. Even with the enormous meteor promising them death if they remained, it was still tear-inducingly beautiful.

As he watched the silent sky, Mario began to doze off, though he tried to fight it. He wanted to be awake when they reached the 29th century, but this was a losing battle. Fortunately, this was a battle Mario didn't mind losing. He realized he hadn't slept at all since he and Link left Zebes. After all he had been through, he deserved a short nap.

"I can barely keep my eyes open..." Mario wearily murmured out loud. "I think I'll take a power nap. Wake me up when we get there."

"No problem." Luigi said.

Mario gazed into the sky one last time before he closed his eyes. The last thing he saw before his eyelids drooped shut was the black sky regaining its mesmerizing colors.

And a faint outline of some type of creature...

Mario's eyes sprung opened as he jumped up, sitting straight and looking into the sky again. He scanned the area he saw the outline in. Nothing but brilliant colors...

"What's wrong with you? Having nightmares already?" Luigi asked, wondering why his brother rose up with such a start.

"Nothing's wrong... Something felt like it poked my back. Made me jump..." Mario lied.

He didn't want to worry Luigi. He also wanted to convince himself that this was nothing to worry about.

_I'm seeing things... I must be really tired._

Mario sat back in the reclining position once again and tried to fall asleep. This time, however, he couldn't keep his eyes closed for more than a second. Mario stayed focused on the alternating sky.

_There's nothing to worry about. I'm staring at the sky just to make sure it was my imagination. Once I'm sure, I'll take a nap._

The sky faded to black. Mario scanned the sky. Five seconds passed. Nothing...

The sky regained its colors. Mario scanned the sky. Five seconds passed. Nothing...

The sky faded to black once again. Mario scanned the sky once again. Another five seconds passed. Still nothing...

The sky regained its colors once again. Mario scanned the sky once again. Another five seconds passed. Still nothing...

The sky faded black yet again. Mario scanned the sky yet again. Yet another five seconds passed. Nothing...

The sky remained black.

_No..._

Mario's heart sunk as the sky ceased its pattern. Something was definitely wrong...

Just then, the outline Mario saw earlier reappeared in the black void. Fear dug its nails into his heart. The outline was huge.

From the outline, he could see that the creature's body was actually slender for something its size. Behind its long body, an equally long tail stretched on. There were two wings on the creature's left and right sides. This was what accounted for the creature's size. Its wingspan was outrageous; both wings were at least four times the width of the creature's body.

The creature was somehow traveling above the sky. It stuck its tail down through the black sky and continued to fly. Mario noticed gigantic cracks were forming in the sky as the humongous creature continued to drag its tail through.

Suddenly, the monster whipped its tail forward. The cracks began to spread all throughout the black sky. It began to look like glass before it shattered... Then the outline of the creature simply vanished, leaving behind a distorted and broken sky.

"Mario, are you alright? You're breathing kind of hard." Luigi noticed, totally oblivious to what was happening above him.

Mario shot a surprised glance at Luigi. He had been so entranced by what was going on above him; he forgot he was with his brother.

"I'm fine." Mario replied, forcing himself to take normal breaths.

As his breathing slowed, he noticed a faint sound. At first it was just the convertible's whirring engine, but he realized the sound was gradually getting louder. It was also coming from above him...

Mario directed his attention to the cracked sky once again. He looked up just in time to see the creature's face preparing to dive through the sky.

An earsplitting screech echoed throughout the environment when the monstrosity Mario was starring at crashed through. The sky immediately shattered like glass and rained down on the road.

The sudden burst of noise caught Luigi by surprise as he lost control of the car. Mario braced himself as he was about to be impaled by the razor-sharp shards of glass falling toward him. Just when the shards were a finger's length from them, they further shattered into fine particles of light and faded into obscurity.

"What's going on?!" Luigi shouted, confused beyond comprehension, but regaining control of the car.

Mario said nothing as he stared at the beast still flying above them. It began to descend at a rapid rate, looking like it was going to crash into Mario and Luigi. It swooped down, flying at most twenty feet above their heads, and then it quickly ascended, creating a powerful gust of wind that knocked their hats off their heads.

The pale-black creature made a u-turn and landed directly in the brothers' path. Its size was clearly observable now. Terrifyingly sharp teeth stuck out of its mouth, even when it was closed, and they pointed out in different directions. Its mouth was so big; it could probably finish the convertible in two bites.

"What... is... that?" Luigi fearfully asked.

"My reason to never be optimistic ever again..." Mario calmly replied.

The brothers stared at the gargantuan creature in silence. The creature did the same to them. The brothers had no idea what to say. They feared that if they made the slightest peep, their lives would be ended unquestionably.

"Why are you here..." It rasped in a deep, menacing voice.

The creature spoke without opening or even slightly moving its mouth. And yet, its voice was clearly audible and rumbled throughout the environment.

Mario and Luigi glanced at each other. They hesitated to answer.

"We're here to travel to the future to save a friend of ours." Mario finally answered.

"A pair who think they can rewrite history..." The creature growled.

"That's not true." Luigi disagreed. "He was taken to the future against his will. We're bringing him back to his rightful time."

"Humans will never understand the consequences of time-travel..." The creature vengefully responded. "By traveling through time, history must rewrite itself to compensate for the individuals that do not belong in that certain era. History has a set limit of events that can happen at any given time for an era. If too many new events happen in the same era, a bend in time occurs. Events that continue to take place over the limit bend time further and further until time for that era breaks into two different parallels. Time cannot consist of two parallel realities. But neither reality is able to exist without the other. Therefore, both realities must be destroyed. By Time Devourers..." It spoke in a slow and low growl.

This new information Mario and Luigi gained mystified them, especially Luigi. He thought Pit had told him everything there was to know. And yet, there was still so much to learn.

"Are you a Time Devourer?" Luigi wondered.

"Indeed..." The Time Devourer verified.

"Does the destroyed era ever get restored?" Mario asked.

"Yes." Time Devourer replied. "But because that era was restored, history had to be rewritten not only for that era, but for eras before it as well. This massive scale changing of history results in multiple time bends in different eras, all with the potential of breaking into two parallel realities. If too many eras break into parallel realities, Time itself will shatter. All of history will have to be rewritten."

"Incredible" was all Mario and Luigi could utter after learning how delicate the fabrics of time were.

"The era you are traveling to, the 29th century, is one of the eras that is experiencing a bend in time." Time Devourer mentioned. "It doesn't have much longer until it breaks into two parallels. Not only is it on the verge of splitting, but another era has already split and caused multiple time bends. Your traveling into the 29th century may very well split reality and result in the collapse of Time. Do you wish to be the ones responsible for the destruction of history?"

Even though Mario and Luigi's responded with silence, their answer was implied.

The gate to the 29th century wasn't more than ten minutes away from them. But with this knowledge of what might happen if they cross the gate, how could they still go on? They had no intention of being responsible for the complete annihilation of time. But they were right there... They were so close...

So close, yet so far...

"What do we do now?" Luigi wondered.

"I... I don't... know." Mario muttered, his voice never sounding more hopeless and pitiful than it did at that moment.

He couldn't believe it. Just like that, he had to give up on saving Link. He had to give up. Mario never had to give up on anything in his life. If he ever gave up on anything, it's because he made a conscious choice to give up. But this time, he was forced to give up. Forced to admit defeat...

"We should go back to the 26th century." Luigi suggested.

"For what?" Mario snapped.

"It's better than staying here..." Luigi said. "We might have a better chance at figuring something else out over there. Marth and Roy helped us out once. Maybe they'll help us again."

Mario gave a melancholy nod. Luigi then proceeded to turn the car, leaving Time Devourer behind, but just when the convertible was pointing in the right direction, it suddenly appeared in front of them once again. When they first spoke with it, even though they were intimidated, they didn't sense any hostility. This time, however...

"You cannot return to the 26th century." Time Devourer stated, its voice growing more urgent. "If you do, Time will shatter."

"What?" The brothers gasped simultaneously in disbelief; their stomachs turning at that fact.

"If Time so fragile, how were we able to leave the 26th century without having it shatter? We got out with no consequences, so why can't we go back in?" Mario wondered.

"You leaving the 26th century was an event planned by Fate. You were to leave, but you weren't meant to return." Time Devourer said.

"So which century are we supposed to return to?" Luigi asked.

"There is no century for you to return to." Time Devourer said, an angry snarl growing between his words. "Humans have traveled through time too often and too recklessly. Time has collapsed before because of this. And once again, your kind is ripping through the very fabric of Time."

The brothers began to feel unsafe. They felt an aura emanating from the Devourer's body. This aura was more powerful than anything they had ever felt before. There was no hope of winning, fighting against something like this.

"What are we supposed to do then?" Mario asked Time Devourer. "If we can't return to our own time or reality, then what's left for us?"

"Death..." Time Devourer rasped.

As it said that, Time Devourer began to levitate off the ground while inching nearer and nearer to the convertible. As the Devourer came closer, Luigi began slowly backing up the car, but gradually backing up faster. He did not want to find out how Time Devourer would take care of him and his brother.

Time Devourer suddenly began glowing green. Luigi picked up the pace, feeling an attack coming on. As they backed up, they felt the ground rumbling beneath them. Luigi kept his eyes fixed on the glowing creature while Mario looked at the ground. He noticed a large area of the ground around them had a darker shade than the rest of the road.

Suddenly, something under the ground burst upward. The brothers felt the ground rise and looked down. All it seemed to be was a slightly raised platform of a pink color. A fleshy pink color...

They continued to back up, even though Time Devourer didn't seem to be pursuing them anymore. It still floated there, glowing a strong shade of green. Luigi found this to be the perfect time to spin the car around in the opposite direction and speed away. He turned the car around, driving right over the middle of the pink platform they were on.

That's when Mario noticed the edges of the platform: there were long, sharp spikes along the rim, and they were dull and slightly yellow in color. The platform also seemed to start folding in such a way that if they stayed in the middle long enough, they'd be crushed in between the two walls.

Suddenly, he started thinking this wasn't just a platform... Fleshy pink ground, dull yellow spikes along the rim of the platform, the platform folding in towards them... This kind of reminded him of the inside of a mouth...

It hit him harder then a ton of bricks after he thought that thought: this was the inside of a mouth!

"LUIGI, HIT THE GAS!!" Mario boomed.

No sooner than he shouted it did Luigi stomp the accelerator and speed off the platform onto normal ground. They got off just in time before the mouth snapped shut. Mario looked behind him and saw the "platform" shut tight in a vertical position. It resembled a Venus Flytrap with its mouth closed.

As they drove off, Mario and Luigi heard Time Devourer emit a deep, rumbling bellow. They knew it wasn't going to just let them escape.

The chase was on.

But as they drove, they knew there was nowhere for them to escape to. If they took any exit leading back to the normal flow of time, they risked destroying all of history! They had taken a lot of risks getting where they were right now, but this was one risk they couldn't take. Way too much was at stake.

The brothers had no idea how this was going to end. They only thing they were certain about was that their ride had to run out of power sometime soon. And when that time came, they wouldn't go submissively.

* * *

One hour left...

One hour until Link was excommunicated from the rest of reality.

One hour until Link had to say goodbye to everything and everyone he ever knew without even getting a chance to say "goodbye".

Just one hour left...

And Link was stuck in a holding cell with Phoenix standing on guard outside. Because Link was seen as such a threat to time and society, he was put a maximum security cell, and since Phoenix was the best Time Patrol agent, it was only natural that he'd be put on guard.

The cell was so heavy on security; it didn't even have a door. In fact, there was no conceivable entrance to speak of. At least Link didn't know about it. Before they threw him in the cell (literally), he was knocked out. When he woke up, he was seemingly standing in the same area Phoenix was standing. He walked toward him, but walked right into some invisible barrier. He had no idea how he got in, but there he was. Link also learned that this cell was soundproof. He shouted a wide array of insults to Phoenix, mainly to blow off some steam, not because he was upset with him. Phoenix didn't even bat an eye toward him. His word just rebounded off the invisible wall and echoed back into his ear.

Sitting against one of the corners of his prison, all Link could do to keep himself occupied was think.

_One hour left..._

_It's funny. I'm not even scared. I feel like this really isn't happenin'. Like this is all scripted..._

_I guess I'm in denial. I can't wait until reality hits. I wanna see how I'll react. This is probably the worst thing that ever happened to me._

_They took all my shit._

_I don't know anyone._

_There's absolutely nothin' that can help me out.  
__  
I'm completely alone._

_I just broke it all down to myself, and I'm still not scared. Either I'm the man, or I'm just real slow to react._

_Only what little time I have left will tell..._

Instead of dwelling on his imminent doom any longer, he simply closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep.

No avail. He'd only keep his eyes closed for approximately two minutes before he opened them again.

The only thing left to do was wait. Wait until his time was up...

_This two-hour shit is so pointless... Especially in my case! These assholes know I don't know anyone! They dragged my ass here while I was half-drunk. Now they have me sittin' around, waiting to be literally sent into the middle of nowhere._

_They're tryin' to break me. They want me to beg to be thrown into the Darkness of Time._

_Yeah, I wanna go._

_But not because they got to me. Because I hate this place._

_The 29th century sucks beyond all comprehension. Maybe I'm jaded because these guys are essentially sentencin' me to an eternity of loneliness and insanity for dumbass reasons, but I don't give ten damns. I don't even think they consider me human. I'll admit: I did some stupid-ass things with the Ocarina of Time, but nothin' that calls for me getting thrown into the Darkness of Time! Just because I royally fucked up goin' through time in the Green Hill Zone, every great thing I've done usin' Time was immediately forgotten._

_Damn these people and damn this century! I'm glad I'm being sent away._

Just then, Link noticed someone speaking with Phoenix. This person was covered from head to toe in an old and tattered, gray hooded cloak. Through the hood, an old man's wrinkly face was seen, smiling with a nonexistent set of teeth. He stood hunched over, standing at nearly half the height of Phoenix, who stood 6'4".

The old man patted Phoenix on the back, as Phoenix nodded and turned to face Link's cell. Directly on the cell, it looked as if Phoenix was pressing a few buttons; each button pressed would light up.

Gradually, Link felt his eyesight leaving him. It felt like he was closing his eyes, but he knew his eyelids were still opened. Instead of panicking, Link continued to sit there and wait. He didn't know why, but he knew his loss of sight wasn't permanent.

After a few seconds, Link's sight faded back. The first thing he noticed was that he was no longer alone in the cell. The old man he had earlier seen with Phoenix was standing with him. Upon closer inspection, Link noticed there was a beard hidden under the cloak. It seemed long, and looked silver in color.

_Now I get a visitor? After an hour starin' at these "walls", someone finally decides to see me?_

_That's funny as hell._

Link remained silent and seated in the corner as the old man just stared at him with an awkward smirk, occasionally breaking into a gum-bearing grin. Even though he made like he wasn't paying attention, Link was getting creeped out. Old people without teeth just shouldn't smile...

"Well boy, don't you want to say something?" The old man wheezed in a generic old-man voice.

"What should I say?" Link nonchalantly responded.

"C'mon now, you have less than an hour left in this world! I may very well be the last person you can casually speak with!" The old man exclaimed. "I imagine there's something you want to say."

While this was true, Link was not about to share his feelings with some random old guy...

"If it makes you feel more comfortable, this cell is completely soundproof. No one can hear what is being said, so everything is just between us." The old man attempted to comfort Link. "And not only that, but you can't see through these walls on the outside. We can see everything going on outside this cell, but no one can see what's going on in here."

"If this is true, then you better not try anythin' funny. I'm already taking a one-way trip to hell. I won't hesitate to kill a man, if I have to." Link threatened.

"Trust me, if I was going to do something, I would've done it by now." The old man replied, while smiling.

Another short, awkward silence overtook the cell. The old man continued smiling while Link tried to figure out what the hell he could be smiling about.

"What the hell are you smilin' about?" Link demanded.

"Awwww... that's all?" The old man sighed. "Of all the questions you can ask, you ask why an old fogy, like me, is smiling."

"Oh, sorry. Next question, I'll ask you what the meanin' of life is." Link sarcastically shot back, not even bothering to look up to his visitor.

The old man chuckled at Link's retort. "So there's some wit in this young'uns arsenal. You're not just about swords and shields after all."

"If you say so..." Link said.

He was a little surprised that this old guy knew that he did, in fact, use swords and shields. Link figured he was part of the audience at his trial.

"Who are you, anyway?" Link wondered.

"That's not really too important, but if you want to call me anything, call me Grampa. I never had any grandchildren, so I always wondered how it would feel to be called that." He explained.

"Okay, Grampa... You still didn't answer my first question." Link said.

"Why am I smiling, huh?" Grampa repeated. "Well, I've seen a lot in my day. Time-travel violation is the latest craze here in the 29th century, if you didn't know. Most people who get thrown into the Darkness of Time cry and plead, trying their hardest not to go there. You're probably the only person in history to be taking this so calmly. It's like you don't care."

"And that's why you're smilin'..." Link concluded. "You know what? You're right. I couldn't give half a damn. Let's see why I don't care..." Link started while finally rising up onto his feet. "I'm alone here, anyway. Everyone here hates me. I hate everyone here. I'm three hundred years away from everyone I know and love. Time doesn't go backward, and I'm sure these guys aren't exactly gonna let me use their time machine to run back and kiss everyone goodbye. So what's the point of caring?"

"Just because a situation looks hopeless doesn't mean it is, boy." Grampa said. "Pessimism doesn't suit you young'uns. You have limitless potential! Whatever you want done, you can do. Tell your friends that being pessimistic is the first step in getting old."

"Sure. I'll let 'em know as soon as I see 'em." Link said with a sarcastic eye-roll.

"Good, good." Grampa nodded satisfactorily. "Especially that Mario-fellow. I can see him being a bad influence."

Link raised an eyebrow to that comment. This was really getting creepy. Before jumping to conclusions, he thought back to the trail. People might've known about him from information that was revealed to the court. But he suddenly realized that the trial was all about his offenses. Nobody from this century should know anything about Link's social life.

"You know, I wonder... what would Mario do if he found out you were here?" The seemingly clairvoyant old man asked.

"He'd try to find a way into the future..." Link guessed. "But he's three hundred years back in time. He needs a time machine to get here. I dunno where he'd be able to find one..."

"Well, my boy, what if I told you that Mario managed to overcome the odds and was on his way?" Grampa smiled.

"How the hell do you know all this? Please tell me who you are." Link pleaded. "It's like you said: you could be the last person I can talk to. You have to tell me who you are, knowing that."

Grampa simply gave Link a warm smile. "Let's just say we have history. It'd be about... three hundred years old."

The way he was speaking, Gramps was actually somebody Link knew from the 26th century! But who? Link got a good glimpse of his face, and he didn't look like anyone Link could remember. But suddenly, the old man's beard caught his eye. He remembered seeing a long, flowing silver beard back in the Rest Stop. Could it be...?

Just then, Link's eyesight began to fade, just like it did before the old man was in the cell with him. This could only mean that Grampa was leaving...

"Silver Neelsen?" Link blurted out while he still had his vision.

After turning around with that signature toothless smile...

"Close... but no." Grampa said.

"Then why did you come to visit me?"

"_That's_ a good question." Grampa stated.

He began to stand up fully straight. He was a lot taller than he seemed, but he was still shorter than Link. At full height, still with his back facing Link, he pulled his hood down. Link barely made out two ears. They were pointy, but not like his ears. They were on top of the head. Grampa then turned his head. Even though Link was on the brink of pitch-blackness, he could see Grampa did not have a normal human profile. In fact, he didn't have a human profile at all! Instead, a muzzle was seen. He had a profile similar to a fox...

And Link only knew one fox...

"Fox..." Link gasped.

"I'm here to give you hope, man. I figured you could use some. Don't say it's over before it's over. Do everything within your power to make sure you meet up with them."

With those words, Link's sight vanished completely for a few seconds, as well as Fox. When he finally got his sight back, he was the only one left in his cell once again. Outside of the cell, only Phoenix was standing there.

Link sat back in his corner and contemplated what just happened.

_Hope._

_Yeah, I can definitely use some of that..._

_I think I'm goin' crazy. Was that really Fox I was talkin' to the whole time? How is that even possible?_

_Whatever, but he told me they were comin'..._

_Mario and Luigi..._

_These guys are amazin'. I don't even know what to think._

_Actually I do... I think I'm getting' scared._

_These guys are comin', but what if they don't make it in time? This is my last chance to get back to where I belong..._

_There's only less than an hour left. Things just suddenly got real serious..._

* * *

Mario and Luigi could do nothing else but evade all attacks from the Time Devourer.

It had a wide variety of attacks: fire pillars, thunderbolts, comets, gravity bursts, aqua beams, and aero saucers, just to name a few. The brothers managed to avoid the onslaught, but only by the width of a hair. At first, they thought they we just skilled at evasion, but when this continuously kept happening, they figured something was up.

"All this time, with the power that that monster has, he still hasn't killed us yet?" Mario wondered. "I hate to say it, but I know our luck isn't that good."

"He's toying with us..." Luigi said.

Time Devourer just then began flying directly above the convertible. A flash of bright, yellow light was emitted from the creature's underbelly. Suddenly, it began raining thunderbolts.

Luigi took a hard right, trying to get out from under Time Devourer. Thunderbolts rained onto wherever Time Devourer's shadow covered the floor. Unfortunately for the brothers, this was a wide area. Luigi tried speeding up to get in front of the creature's shadow, while dodging the bolts of lightning. It seemed to be working; Time Devourer seemed like it couldn't keep up with their speed.

Just when they thought they were in the clear, Time Devourer flapped its wings powerfully, kicking up a strong gust of wind, and ascending higher into the air. Not only that, but one final bolt of lightning was dropped: a huge bolt of lightning that hit the ground with an earth-rattling crack. The brothers weren't hit by the lightning, but there was a powerful aftershock that launched them into the air.

As they were floating helplessly into the air, Time Devourer flew directly them, with its mouth wide opened. Second before it looked like they would be engulfed, Time Devourer made an amazingly fast dive for something its size, flipping itself over. In doing this, it caught the convertible with a vicious tail whip and knocked it back down to the ground. The car landed hard on its side, bounced off the road, then it landed on its four wheels again. Amazingly, Mario and Luigi survived that attack without a scratch.

"Did you see how fast it dove? Did you see that last bolt of lightning it sent at us? It's definitely just playing with us. At any given moment, it can crush us..." Luigi painfully realized.

"So how are we going to get out of this? In fact, where are we going?" Mario said. "We passed the exit to the 29th century a long time ago and the last exit I saw was to the 41st. What are we doing?"

"I don't know. I really don't know." Luigi admitted. "I don't even know why we're running. We can't escape this thing and I see no possible way of beating it..."

"So basically, it's over for us? We're just prolonging our imminent demises?" Mario asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yep..." Luigi answered.

"It never fails..." Mario muttered.

Suddenly, Time Devourer bulleted right over their heads, flying at incomprehensible speeds. It then made a midair switch, flying straight up into the black sky. It flew out of Mario and Luigi's sight, then switched direction once again, plummeting toward the road. Seconds later, it blasted through the ground and then erupted upward a few kilometers away.

Although it crashed through the road, it looked as if the road was unaffected. Luigi drove the car past where Time Devourer first hit the ground.

That's when the road began to crumble.

The ground below Mario and Luigi didn't break immediately; they saw the road ahead of them disintegrate into nothingness. Luigi whipped their ride into a u-turn, in an attempt to make it back to safe ground. Just when the car was pointing in the right direction, the ground below them finally began to give way, putting them on an upward incline. Luigi slammed the gas, in hopes of making it back safely. Just then, the inclined part of the road snapped off.

"JUMP!!" Mario ordered, noticing the gap between them and safety was a long jump away.

Both of them leaped off of the car, as far as their disguised bodies would allow them. Luckily, it was enough for them to reach the edge of the road. Or more specifically, it was enough for Mario to just barely grab the edge with one arm. In a familiar position, Luigi was dangling below Mario, hanging onto his legs.

"Déjà vu..." Luigi muttered.

Both of them looked down. There was no absolutely no ground. Infinite blackness awaited them if either one of them decided to let go.

As they hung out above oblivion, they noticed Time Devourer circling the sky above them, lingering like a vulture observing a dying animal. It dove toward the brothers, stopping at eye-level. Time Devourer's colorless eyes glared mercilessly at the helpless brothers. The brothers stared back, fearing the incomprehensible worse. Fearing their fates would involve a deep, dark, limitless oblivion that just so happened to be below them...

Unfortunately, their fears had come true. Time Devourer dove further beneath the dangling duo, and then began his viciously fast ascent to the sky, right through what little road the brothers had to hang on to. The edge Mario hung on to, as well as the chunk of road it was attached to, broke off, leaving Mario and Luigi to fall to their doom. Darkness consumed their eyesight as they fell into the endless void. The last thing they saw was Time Devourer flying high into the sky, back from where it came from.

Several eternities later... (Or actually, just five minutes...)

Luigi woke up. Although hard to imagine, it took him a while before he realized he was conscious. Where he lied, he couldn't tell if he was awake or dreaming because of how dark is was. The darkness was just consuming. When he finally realized he was fully awake, he began rising to his feet. Every which direction he looked: nothing but black.

Above him.

Below him.

To his left.

To his right.

Diagonally.

Fifty-seven degrees upward.

Everywhere, just darkness... But somehow, he could clearly see the rest of his body when he looked down.

"Mario?" Luigi called out while looking about.

No answer. He didn't see anything different either.

_We probably got separated during the fall... Craptastic..._

_But don't worry too much, Luigi. Worrying won't help you at all. If there's a way into a situation, there's a way out. There's always a way out. Why don't we just go for a little walk?_

Following his thoughts, Luigi began taking his first steps in oblivion. Walking was certainly a lot more interesting here than it was in a normal place. Even though he felt the soles of his shoes hit the floor and the friction between his shoe and the floor push him forward, it felt like he was getting absolutely nowhere. Since there were no reference bodies to help Luigi determine whether he was moving or not, it seemed as if he was simply walking in place.

Hmm... looks like this is going to be a long walk. I really hope Mario is alright, wherever he is.

Even though it seemed futile, Luigi continued walking.

And walking...

And walking...

He had been walking aimlessly for ten minutes. All this time, he still couldn't tell if he traveled even one centimeter from his starting point. But where the typical person would lose all hope and just give up, Luigi pressed on.

As he walked on, a tinge of color in the midst of infinite darkness caught his eye. He walked toward the color, noticing it was actually a brown color as he got closer. Soon enough, he was close enough to actually tell what he was walking toward.

A door.

In Luigi's mind, this wasn't any door. This door may very well control his fate. Surviving his ordeal with Time Devourer and the fall to nothingness was one thing, but finding a door in an indeterminate void...

Luigi bought his hand to the knob, and grabbed on. He hesitated for a second. Once he turned the knob, there was no going back. This could either have profound positive effects, or simply end it all.

Taking a deep breath, Luigi turned the knob and opened the door...


	21. So Close, Yet So Far: Part 9

**Act 9****: **_**So Close, Yet So Far**_ (Part 9)

The first thing Luigi noticed was a light: a light that dispersed the darkness. Where one finds light, one finds hope.

And hope was what Luigi found, in the form of two people. The first person was none other than his brother, Mario. Holding back his utter happiness, Luigi just let a smile take over his face.

The second person, Luigi did not recognize. He was dressed in a brown overcoat buttoned all the way up, brown slacks, and a brown top hat to finish off his look. He was leaning on a brown wooden cane, fast asleep. His defining characteristic was the huge bubble inflating and deflating with every breath he took.

"How'd you get here?" Luigi asked his brother.

"Same way you probably did. I woke up, walked around, found this door, and entered." Mario explained. "When I came in, I found this old guy here. He's been sleeping ever since."

"You ever tried waking him up?" Luigi asked.

"The thought crossed my mind for a second, but then I thought about how our luck's been. For all I know, this guy might just kill me for no particular reason; just because he has that kind of power." Mario said. "I decided to wait for you. If we do have to fight, we'd be better off fighting as a duo."

"I don't think there'll be any fighting. I mean, look at the bubble coming from his nose." Luigi said, pointing at it. "Anyone who sleeps with bubbles that big in their nose can't be that threatening."

"Oh yeah? I dare you to pop it." Mario dared.

"That's alright... I don't really want old-man-sleep-bubble-snot on my finger." Luigi declined.

"But you're wearing gloves! Plus, it's not even your finger. You're still Waluigi, remember?" Mario pointed out.

"That's true... I think I'm starting to get too used to this body. I miss myself..." Luigi sighed.

"I miss my old self, too." Mario agreed.

The brother's stood around, thinking about their old bodies. The way things were going, it seemed they'd never turn back to normal. They thought about the real Wario and Waluigi...

_What would Wario and Waluigi say if they saw us?_

They literally imagined it. All four of them were standing in front of Mario's house, back in Mushroom Kingdom. Mario and Luigi, still disguised, stood side-by-side. The real Wario and Waluigi stood across from them, scratching their heads in disbelief, their faces screwed up in confusion.

"What the hell?" Wario and Waluigi uttered simultaneously, shrugging their shoulders.

The mental scene ended.

_Yeah, that seems about right..._

"Alright, since you won't do it..." Mario said, breaking the silence.

He walked over to the sleeping old man. Sticking his pointer finger out, he directed his hand to the nose bubble and popped it. It emitted a surprisingly loud pop, promptly waking the old man up.

"What?!" The man in brown shouted, completely disorientated.

Mario jumped back and assumed a fighting stance. Luigi also put his arms up, but not quite in a stance ready for battle.

The old man calmed down a little and looked around. He was very surprised to find two others standing with him.

"More people who have lost their way and found themselves in the End of Time." He said to himself.

"The End of Time?" The brother's gasped in disbelief.

"Yes. This is where all time dimensions meet. All of Time ends the same way." The old man stated. He had a slight English accent.

"Who are you, and how'd you get here?" Luigi asked.

"I am Gaspar, The Guru of Time." Gaspar introduced himself. "To go through all the details of how I arrived here would be mind-boggling. All that needs to be said is that I was bought here by accident. At first, I toiled to find a way out, and eventually I succeeded. But instead of escaping, I decided to stay. I wanted to assist those unfortunate enough to somehow end up here. Not many people come around here, so I spend a lot of time sleeping. It does get boring down here, you know."

"So wait a second... You can help us return to the normal time flow? Maybe... get us to the 29th century?" Mario asked.

"Quite possibly... It all depends on your intentions." Gaspar replied.

"Trust me, we're all for righteousness." Mario said and began telling Gaspar what happened to Link and how they ended up in the End of Time.

"Well, that's quite a story..." Gaspar said, impressed by the brothers' ordeal.

"That's not even half of it..." Mario sighed.

"So you're going to help us?" Luigi asked, one-hundred percent sure of the answer.

"Unfortunately, I can't..." Gaspar regretfully muttered.

"Wait, what?" Luigi gasped. This was the complete opposite of what he expected.

"I thought you were here to help anyone that got lost!" Mario exclaimed, upset that this old man acted against his word.

"Usually, I can help anyone that comes this way. But your case is a strange one." Gaspar stated. "You've crossed so many barriers to get here; it would be too complicated to return you to the normal time. I wouldn't even no where to begin! In all my years of being the Guru of Time, I've never faced dilemma more troublesome than yours. And believe me; I thought I've seen it all. I'm terribly sorry..."

And once again, Mario and Luigi's optimism had it's legs broken and was dragged facedown into a field where it was exposed to gamma radiation, left to bask in the lethal rays and die of some horrible, mutated cancer. They simply looked at each other and forced a weak, petty laugh.

"Well, I guess we'll be on our way." Luigi said, heading toward the exit leading back into the infinite blackness he came from with Mario following.

"Once again, I'm sorry I couldn't help." Gaspar called out as Mario and Luigi went through the door.

As the door shut closed, the slightest of smiles crept onto Gaspar's face.

"This isn't what I expected..." Mario said, surprised by the new room they had ended up in.

They exited the same door the entered through. They thought they'd be standing in oblivion once again, but instead, they were in a fenced-in area with a cobblestone floor. In the center of the room, there was a spotlight, where someone stood under it.

Or more accurately: _something..._

This wasn't a scary something, though. It looked like something you would keep as a pet. With its off-white, fuzzy fur, neck-less oval body, pointy ears, and beady eyes, why wouldn't you? It was the epitome of cute.

"Greetings, Mario and Luigi!" The creature in the spotlight welcomed.

"How do you know our names?" Mario demanded. "In fact, where are we, why are we here instead of the middle of nowhere, and..."

"Whoa, slow down!" The creature interrupted. "It's been a while since so many questions were thrown at me. In fact, it's been a while since I've seen anyone other than Gaspar."

"Who are you?" Luigi asked.

"Since I know your names, I guess it's only fair that you know mine. Call me Spekkio." Spekkio introduced himself. "You two should know why you're here: Gaspar is helping you two by sending you to me. In fact, this room doesn't exist unless he approves."

"What? He just told us he couldn't help us!" Luigi exclaimed. "He was saying something about--"

"Before you go on..." Spekkio interrupted, holding up one cute little finger. "...quiet down and listen closely."

Silence promptly befell the room. Almost immediately, faint laughter was heard. It was coming from the room they were previously in; the room where Gaspar was.

"He's laughing..." Mario realized.

"...at us." Luigi added.

"Yep, he tricked you good." Spekkio said.

"I'm two seconds from going back in there and knocking his teeth out..." Mario threatened. "I was feeling pretty hopeless."

"Calm down, Mario. Think about how long it's been since he's been able to do that. Just let it go." Luigi said, providing a voice of reason. Mario groaned in response. "So anyway, Gaspar sent us to you for help. What exactly can you do?"

"Allow me to answer that question with a question of my own: do I look weak or strong to you?" Spekkio asked.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Mario wondered.

"Just answer truthfully. What do you think?" Spekkio said.

Mario and Luigi replied "weak" and "strong", respectively. Spekkio got a good laugh from this.

"Strong?! Explain to me how this guy looks strong to you." Mario demanded, finding Luigi's statement outrageous.

"You ever heard of the phrase 'looks can be deceiving'?" Luigi said. "Why else would someone with Spekkio's appearance ask a question like that? Underneath the veil of cuteness lies an impossibly strong monster!"

"Well, I'm not denying that he might have some strength..." Mario said. "...but he can't be stronger than me! Basic strength is proportional to body mass. I'm a lot heavier than him, so I'm stronger than him. And in comparison to me, he's weak. Therefore, Spekkio looks weak to me." He deduced.

"Very nice logic, Mario." Spekkio complimented. "Would you care to verify your theory in an arm-wrestling contest against me?"

"Are you serious?" Mario asked in disbelief.

"Very." Spekkio simply replied.

"We don't even have a table to use." Mario pointed out.

Spekkio suddenly began to spin around rapidly. He slowly began inching out of the spotlight as he spun like a top. In his place, a rectangular table appeared, fully-equipped with three chairs: two chairs were directly across from each other, and one chair was kind of at the head of the table.

"Shall we be seated?" Spekkio offered as he climbed into his seat.

Mario and Luigi followed suit, and all three were seated: Mario and Spekkio sat opposite of each other, and Luigi sat to the right. Mario began stretching out his arms and cracking his fingers. He mainly did this for show. He expected a very quick and easy win. Spekkio sat staring at Mario's "preparation" and began to chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Mario wondered.

"Nothing. I'm just admiring your preparation routine." Spekkio said with a smile.

"Okay..." Mario muttered, unsure how to respond.

Finally ending his stretching and cracking, Mario took in a deep breath and breathed out, simultaneously dropping his elbow onto the table. Mario let it drop so heavily, he actually cracked the table a little.

"Whoa, Mario..." Luigi gasped.

"Whoops... Sorry about that." Mario apologized, even though he meant to do that, trying to intimidate Spekkio.

"Don't worry about it. Just lift your arm for a second." Spekkio requested.

Mario listened, and with a magic murmur, Spekkio fixed the crack.

"This time, gently put your elbow on the table." Spekkio said.

With a smile, Mario rested his elbow down with his hand up, waiting for Spekkio to do the same.

"You know what? It's been so long since I've arm wrestled anyone. Let me warm up on your brother, first." Spekkio said.

"What? No!" Luigi refused. "I can't arm wrestle anyone in this body! Look at my arms! They're like twigs!"

"Take it easy, Luigi..." Mario said. "You won't lose to him. It'll be like arm wrestling a puppy."

"The most powerful puppy ever! I'm telling you, Mario, you're underestimating Spekkio. He's a lot stronger than you think." Luigi warned.

"C'mon, Luigi! What do you have to lose? You'd just prove your point that I'm strong." Spekkio encouraged.

"Fine..." Luigi sighed, giving in to peer pressure.

He faced Spekkio and put his elbow on the table. Spekkio was too short for his elbow to reach the table, so he stood on his chair and leaned over to rest his furry elbow on the table and grabbed Luigi's hand.

"I'm ready whenever you are." Spekkio said.

"On the count of three, we'll both go." Luigi suggested.

Spekkio nodded and they both counted together.

"One... Two... THREE!"

Both contestants directed all possible strength into their arms, trying to pin either one's hand to the table surface. They were at a deadlock, struggling to move even an inch.

Just when Luigi felt as if he was going to lose his composure, Spekkio's seat slid back, causing him to lose a lot of leverage. Luigi bought his hand nearly to the table surface. Very gradually, Luigi was able to wear Spekkio's arm down until it finally touched the table.

Both battlers left out a long sigh.

"You want to count that? We'd still be at that deadlock if your chair didn't slip." Luigi offered.

"No, no, that's alright. You win, Luigi." Spekkio announced.

"Good job, little brother. I told you he wasn't that tough." Mario said. "If you still want to face me, Spekkio, I'll let you take a breather before we go."

"Of course I still want to face you! I challenged you first! Just because I lost doesn't mean I quit." Spekkio said. "I don't need to rest. I just needed to get my adrenaline running. I'm ready."

"Alright." Mario said, putting his elbow to the table once again.

Spekkio first moved his chair closer to the table, then rested his elbow on the table and grabbed Mario's hand.

"Count of three?" Mario asked.

"Count of three." Spekkio agreed.

"One... Two... THREE!"

Once again, both contestants started out in a deadlock. Immediately, Mario was surprised because this is the way Luigi's match started out. He knew he was stronger than Luigi, so he couldn't understand why he couldn't even budge Spekkio's arm.

But even more foreboding was the fact that while he was struggling to move Spekkio's arm down, he met no opposing force. He felt like he was arm-wrestling a wall. Mario trembled as he pushed to move his opponents arm. Spekkio, on the other hand, stood perfectly still. It was like he wasn't even fighting back.

Suddenly, Spekkio exploded with strength, throwing Mario's arm to the table. Before he even knew it, Mario saw his huge, beefy arm pinned down on the table. He sat there, completely shocked.

"Hmm, it seems like I win." Spekkio announced.

"I told you, Mario..." Luigi said.

"NO!!" Mario snapped, jumping up from his seat and throwing the table to the side. Wario's egotistical mind-frame had taken over once again without Mario's realization. "Arm wrestling doesn't prove anything anyway; it's hand-to-hand combat! Now come here!"

Mario wildly charged at Spekkio. Suddenly, Spekkio stuck his tiny paw out and pointed it at Mario. An energy ball jumped from his hand, into Mario's face. Mario got knocked onto his back in a hurry, lying in a daze.

Spekkio then closed his eyes and clasped his paws together. A bright yellow aura surrounded his body. It began to pulsate, growing larger in radius. Finally, Spekkio threw his arms into the air and let out a shout. The aura rushed into him, and exited his body as a beam of light. The light flew up into the sky and plummeted back down to earth as lightning. Its landing spot was right where Mario was lying...

C-C-C-C-C-C-C-CRAAAAAACK!!

Mario shook violently as the high voltage of the lightning swam through his body, giving him a grand mal seizure. Soon after the attack, he stopped shaking, lying facedown and motionless on the floor.

Just when Luigi was about to ask if his brother would be alright after something like that...

"Yes, he will be fine. I only gave him enough electricity to put him in a coma." Spekkio said.

"A coma?!" Luigi repeated, stunned. "Doesn't it take months to come back from that?! We have people to save! I can't do this by myself!"

"Will you let me finish?" Spekkio responded. "He'll be up on his feet again once I turn him back to his original self."

"What?" Luigi gasped in disbelief.

"He'll be up on his feet again once I turn him back to his normal self." Spekkio repeated himself. "I can restore you back to normal too, unless you like your new body."

"Ha! Double ha!" Luigi "laughed".

"I'll take that as a 'no'. Okay then, just close your eyes and picture your old body." Spekkio instructed.

_Meanwhile in Mario's unconsciousness..._

_I want to go home._

_I need rest. Too much has gone on._

_This guy was supposed to help us out, and instead, I'm unconscious. And to top it all off, I can't even fathom how we're getting out of this one._

_Everything is turning out great... and it's all thanks to Bowser._

_Bowser... Bowser... Bowser..._

_Next time I see him, he's going to feel the full brunt of my frustration. I think I'm going to kill him._

Suddenly, and incredible flash of light jerked Mario out of his unconsciousness. He surveyed his surroundings, expecting to be somewhere else. In the midst of all the blackness, he saw a skinny brown peg in the corner of his eye. The same peg that belonged to the chair Spekkio was standing on.

_For some reason, I expected to be back at home. I'm so homesick..._

Mario managed to stand up on his own two legs. Literally! He looked down and was surprised to see his own short and stubby, yet remarkably strong legs as well as his blue overall pants and signature brown shoes. He also looked at his hands: white gloves that fit perfectly over his normal hands.

"Welcome back, Mario." Luigi greeted his brother.

Mario smiled back at his familiar younger sibling. Seeing his green hat and shirt, along with his blue overalls was indeed a comforting sight.

"Your welcome." Spekkio said.

Mario turned in the direction Spekkio's voice came from. He was shocked to see a different creature in Spekkio's place. Instead of a cute, furry little take-home-and-show-it-to-your-mom pet, there was a tall, brutish, hide-it-in-your-closet-and-lock-the-door monster.

Locking the door on this monster wouldn't save you from it, though.

The first thing noticeable on this creature was its humongous chest. Its pecs were enormous. Mario and Luigi, combined, couldn't measure up to its massiveness. Its legs were incredibly miniscule in comparison to its incredible upper body, though. The beast's legs were so small; it's a mystery how it managed to stand.

"Spekkio?" Mario gasped.

"The one and only. What's wrong? Surprised by my appearance?" Spekkio questioned, studying Mario's expression.

"No, not really. I see furry little animals change into huge muscle-bound monsters all the time." Mario casually replied.

"Thanks for giving us our bodies back, Spek. But we still need help getting to the 29th century." Luigi said.

"I can help... But on one condition..." Spekkio began.

"If it involves fighting you, then I quit." Mario mentioned.

"Unforunately, it does..." Spekkio said. "I'm the Master of War. I have a thirst for combat that can never be quenched. But luckily for you, your missions take priority over my desires. You just have to promise me that after you save your princess, you'll come back and fight me."

"Alright, no problem." Mario quickly agreed.

"Don't make empty promises. You must keep this after the vow is made." Spekkio said.

"Trust me, if we find a way to get back here, we'll be back." Luigi reassured him.

"You don't have to worry about that. Just take this egg." Spekkio commanded, holding his powerful hand out. A faint sparkle flickered in his palm, then a purple, black, and blue egg materialized in his hand. "This is a Time Egg. You can use this to bring you anywhere in Time without the threat of creating a bend. But it's only usable once."

Mario carefully took the egg from Spekkio and stared at it. He felt a strange power emanating from the egg.

"This feels uncomfortably important... like the essence of life or something." Mario said with an uneasy laugh.

"Well, it sort of is." Luigi said. "Time controls all of life, and life starts with an egg."

"Clever." Mario murmured while staring at the egg. "So how do I use this?"

"It's incredibly simple. Just hold it up and state your destination in time." Spekkio instructed. "And make sure Luigi is holding on to you somehow."

"Well... That _is_ easy." Luigi admitted.

"Alright then, let's go." Mario said, motioning Luigi to grab his shoulder.

"To 29th century Mute City!" The Mario brothers exclaimed simultaneously.

The egg hatched in the middle of Mario's hand. A wispy cloud flowed out: black and purple swirled, forming the shape of a bird. It swooped down to Mario and Luigi and wrapped its wings around them, then began decreasing in size until it disappeared in a puff of smoke.

* * *

"It's time..." Phoenix said after the barrier separating him from Link disappeared.

_Damnit... They're still not here yet..._

_I don't even think I can stall. I have nothin' to use..._

"Hey! Get out of la-la land and get moving!" Phoenix ordered as he grabbed Link's arm and threw him in front him.

They began walking to the portal that would throw Link into the Darkness of Time. The strange part, though, was that they didn't put any handcuffs or any type of restraint on Link at all. If he wanted to, Link would easily be able to hit Phoenix with a two-hit combo and run. But he knew there was a reason why there were no restraints.

"Why didn't you guys cuff me?" Link wondered, stopping the walk to the portal. "You guys are that confident that I won't try some courageous shit to try to escape? I mean, all I need to do is hit you with the left-right." Link threatened, jabbing the air with his left and right fists.

"Trust me, you can't. Even if you manage to make it out of this facility, you won't last long." Phoenix said, pushing Link forward.

"How? I'd be gone! You'd never find me." Link countered, slowing down once again.

"All prisoners have a chip as small as a blood-cell within them." Phoenix explained. "_That_ chip is the handcuff. If you try to escape, it will release a fluid that will paralyze you."

"You people are some sneaky mofos, you know that?" Link claimed. "What'd you do? Secretly inject that into me with a needle or somethin'?"

"It's the future, my friend. Needles are too much of a hassle. You can resist the needle, but you can't resist breathing." Phoenix said. "When you were in that transport pod, that chip was released into the air you were breathing. And you know that oxygen gets diffused into your bloodstream through the lungs, right? So does that chip. That's also how a tiny chip like that is able to paralyze your entire body. The paralyzing fluid flows through your circulatory system."

"You know, I'm not stupid." Link said. "I coulda guessed the rest easily."

"Well, I don't know about you perpetrators..." Phoenix said. "You were stupid enough to recklessly run through time and change God-knows-what. I figured you weren't educated enough in how the body works."

"Well, thanks for the Biology lesson, Professor." Link sarcastically stated.

"You're welcome. Now it's off to your indefinite detention." Phoenix said, shoving Link into motion once again.

They finally left the room Link was being held in. The moment they left, a cloud of smoke gradually began filling the room. Afterward, the brume floated into itself and created a swirling vortex. From the vortex, out stepped Mario and Luigi. The vortex swirled smaller and smaller until it solidified, turning back into the Time Egg.

"The Time Egg..." Luigi said, looking at the egg.

"It's actually an egg again." Mario said.

"Didn't Spekkio say it was only useable once?" Luigi remembered.

"Yeah, but look at it. It looks exactly the way it did when he gave it to me." Mario realized. "I think we can still use it."

"I guess we'll be holding on to it." Luigi guessed.

"Of course!" Mario enthusiastically agreed, picking up the Time Egg and pocketing it. "Okay, so now we're in the 29th century. Where's Link?"

Perfectly timed as an answer, they heard a far-away scream. A familiar sounding scream. They figured the door led to a hallway. And down that hallway, they would find Link.

"That's him." Mario said. "Let's go."

Mario led the way to the door, only to stop right in front of it with a perplexed look. He reached for a doorknob, but there wasn't any to be found.

"Where's the doorknob?" Mario asked.

"It's the ultra-future. They probably scrapped that idea." Luigi guessed.

"So then how do we get out?" Mario wondered.

"Umm..." Luigi scanned the wall around the door. "Try that button right there."

Mario pressed a button to the right of the door. The door slid upward, leading to a white-tiled hallway.

"Progress!" Mario exclaimed. "Now which way did he go..."

Perfectly timed as an answer once again, Link screamed on top of his lungs.

"That way." Mario and Luigi said simultaneously, looking to their right. They began running down the hall, in hopes of catching up.

"What are they doing to him? It sounds so painful..."

_Further down the hall..._

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Link bellowed on top of his lungs.

"Why are you screaming like that?" Phoenix asked, quite annoyed and covering his ears.

"I dunno, really. I just feel like screamin'." Link admitted.

"You have to have a better reason than that..." Phoenix said.

"Alright then..." Link said, thinking of a better reason. "I'm goin' to the Darkness of Time. What reasons don't I have to scream like that?"

Phoenix was silenced. He did have a point. Phoenix was pretty sure he'd scream a couple of times, too.

Link shouted once again.

"Shut up!" Phoenix ordered, his eardrums ringing.

"Why? You're gonna arrest me for defiance?" Link said.

"Just stop, please! My ears are really sensitive, and you screaming like that isn't helping me." Phoenix said.

"Just deal with it. I'm only gonna be around for another... what... ten minutes? After that, you'll get all the silence you want." Link promised.

He shouted again. Phoenix clocked him over the head with his fist.

_Back up the hallway..._

"I don't know how I feel about the screaming..." Luigi muttered uneasily as they ran in Link's direction. "I'm glad he's so loud; it makes it easy to follow him. But that could mean he's being tortured or something. We should move faster."

"The screams are getting louder. We're getting closer. Don't worry." Mario assured his brother.

The brothers turned a few more corners, following the screams progressively getting louder in volume. Eventually, they caught up to someone. His back was to them as he was walking ahead of them. Mario and Luigi slowed down their pace. The man was wearing a white cape as well as a white helmet.

He turned a corner and came to a stop. Mario and Luigi slid back around the corner and waited to see what was going on.

"We're here." The caped man said.

"So soon? I was enjoyin' the tour of the facility." Someone in front of the caped man said.

Mario's ears perked up at the sound of the new voice he heard.

"We caught up." Mario quietly announced, recognizing the voice.

"Then the guy in the cape must be Phoenix." Luigi deduced.

Just then, it sounded like a door opened. The brothers peeked around the corner once again to see what was going on.

Link gazed into the room. He noticed it was much different from the rest of the facility. For the most part, the rooms and hallways were very light in color. Most of the rooms were white. This room, however, was a dull and mundane gray, with singe marks on the floor and walls.

"This is it. The gateway to the Darkness of Time." Phoenix said.

Mario and Luigi's eyes widened.

A sound that could only be described as a rip in dimensions was heard. Mario and Luigi felt a strong gust of wind coming from the direction of the gateway.

"If we're going to do something, now's the time." Luigi suggested.

Mario peeked around the corner again. Phoenix and Link were sharing a few words.

"Even though you don't deserve this, do you have any last words?" Phoenix asked.

"Yeah, I got a few..." Link began. In all actuality, he had nothing to say. The only reason he attempted to make up something to say was because he hoped Mario and Luigi were somewhere nearby, getting ready to save him.

"I don't think they're moving anytime soon." Mario observed.

"That gives us enough time to plan. Can you think of _anything_ that'll get us out of here safely?" Luigi wondered.

"No..." Mario admitted. "You?"

"I've been thinking about that ever since we got here. ...and I see no way possible." Luigi stated. "This is the 29th century. Security is probably more advanced than we can ever imagine. I even doubt we made it here unnoticed. There's probably something coming for us right now."

"Then what do we do?" Mario asked.

"I really don't know..." Luigi solemnly sighed.

"I have an idea..." Mario suggested. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the Time Egg. "All we have to do is hold this up and tell it where in Time we want to go, right? Well, I don't know what century in Hyrule Link lives in, but I'm sure he does."

"So we nab Link and use the Time Egg right here?" Luigi guessed.

"No, Phoenix will try to stop us from escaping. I'm guessing we can use the Time Egg anywhere, so we'll just go to the Darkness of Time and use it there." Mario concluded.

"What if it doesn't work there?" Luigi said.

"I don't know... I guess we have to hope it does..." Mario said.

"I hate how much uncertainty there is with this plan... but it's our best bet. Let's get ready to grab Link." Luigi said.

They turned the corner and got ready to set their plan in motion. Link was just putting the finishing touches on his "last words".

"...and that's what I think would happen if cuccos and peahats were cross-bred. Massive hysteria would ensue for centuries to come. Even your technology wouldn't be able to stop them!" Link concluded.

"That made no sense, whatsoever. I don't even know what a cucco or a peahat is." Phoenix said.

"You will when they take over your city." Link said.

"Alright, into the portal." Phoenix ordered.

Link slowly turned to the gateway. A pillar of dark blue smoke swirled from the ceiling of the room to the floor. He took a step forward. The wind produced from the pillar nearly blew his hood off. He held his hat to his head as he looked back to Phoenix, then behind him, expecting the brothers to come at any minute. He saw nothing...

"What are you looking at? No one's coming to save you." Phoenix said, shaking his head at Link's wishful thinking.

Link sighed.

_Well, this is it. I stalled as much as I could. I guess I'll see everyone again when--_

Link's thoughts were interrupted when he felt a sharp tackle to his back, sending him flying out of control into the portal.

"What the he--" This was the last thing Link heard from Phoenix before he fell through.


	22. So Close, Yet So Far: Part 10

**Act 9****: **_**So Close, Yet So Far**_ (Part 10)

Falling through the gateway was indescribable. Colors flashed, yet vision was blurred. Sounds boomed, yet hearing was warped. Nothing made sense as he fell to his new home.

Soon, all sounds were gradually silenced. All colors disappeared, leaving stark blackness behind. Link finally hit the floor. He got up on his feet and looked around.

"Damn, it's gonna be a long, painful death when the time finally comes..." Link said in response to his observance of his surroundings. There was absolutely nothing here. Nothing. Nothing but him and the darkness.

"Don't tell me you plan on dying here." A voice called out.

Well... there was nothing but him, the darkness, and another person.

"We're busting you outta this joint, see?" Another voice called.

Okay... nothing but Link, the infinite blackness, and two very familiar voices.

"Mario and Luigi..." Link murmured with unfathomable happiness.

Silence followed. Link and the Mario brothers simply stood staring at each other, in awe that this literal chase across time and space had finally ended. Link stepped forward and reached his hands out, prompting for a welcoming handshake. Mario and Luigi returned the favor by grabbing onto Link's hands. Link then pulled them in and gave them both a bear hug, managing to pick them both up off their feet.

"Easy, Link! We missed you, too." Luigi gasped, his voice strained because of Link's hug.

"Please put me down... My lungs hurt..." Mario weakly let out.

Link finally put the brothers down. Mario fell to one knee and began breathing in and out, getting air back into his lungs.

"What took you guys so long?!" Link exclaimed. "I thought it was all over for me!"

"You know how our luck goes. We went through all types of crazy crap trying to get to you." Luigi said. "We'd tell you about it now, but I'm sure you want to leave here, first."

"Damn right I do!" Link agreed. "But this is the Darkness of Time. The elders told me once you're here, that's it. You're stuck here forever. Even when you die, you don't go to Heaven or Hell; your soul is stuck here and left to aimlessly wander for all of eternity."

"I'm sure that's what happens. But only to people who come here without a Time Egg!" Luigi exclaimed.

Mario just then whipped out the egg.

"Our ticket outta here lies in there?" Link questioned. "We better not have to sit on it..."

"No, none of that." Mario said. "All we need to do is raise it in the air and say where we want to go. It's that simple."

"Wow..." Link was rendered speechless by the simplicity of the egg. "You know exactly where I want to go: Hyrule!"

"Which century?" Luigi asked.

"The eighth." Link answered.

"Alright, hold my shoulder." Mario instructed. Luigi and Link followed directions and clasped Mario's shoulders. "To 8th century Hyrule!" He rang out.

...

Nothing happened.

"...are we there yet?" Link asked.

"I'm not even going to answer that." Mario said. He then began studying the egg. "It looks exactly the same way it did when Spekkio gave it to us. Why isn't it working?"

"Let me see." Luigi said. Mario handed him the Time Egg. "Hmm... It kind of feels different... Even though I never held it before, I could still feel its power. But now... I don't feel anything."

Mario reached out his hand, signaling Luigi to give it to him. Luigi passed it back. Mario cradled the egg, trying to feel its power.

"...you're right..." Mario disappointedly sighed out.

"Now I wish you didn't tackle Link in here..." Luigi groaned.

"You tackled me in here?!" Link gasped.

"I thought we could've used the Time Egg to get us out!" Mario exclaimed.

Link let out an annoyed sigh. "So now what do we do? We're all together, but for what? To die here? Screw that idea! If there's a way out, we're gonna find it."

"And find it, we shall." Luigi agreed. "You recognize this place, Mario?"

"Kind of... This place reminds me of where I ended up after we fell off the Timeline." Mario said.

"The Timeline?" Link repeated.

"Yeah. We used a time machine to try to get to the 29th century." Mario explained. "All the centuries were conveniently connected by a highway. I remember seeing a sign that said the name of the highway; it was called the Timeline."

"Cute." Link said.

"Yep. Too bad that Time Devourer had to destroy it..." Luigi muttered.

"Time Devourer?!" Link gasped in shocked bewilderment. "What kind of scary-soundin' shit is that? You actually fought somethin' called _Time Devourer_?"

"More like we _ran away_ from something called Time Devourer. It was too powerful to fight." Luigi said. "But anyway, I think the place we ended up and the place we're in now are one in the same."

"Then we should be able to reach the End of Time." Mario said.

"That's what I'm hoping." Luigi agreed, thinking along the same lines.

"The Darkness of Time leads to the End of Time. Sounds crazy, but I'll believe it. How exactly are we gonna get there, though?" Link wondered. "There aren't any signs telling us which way to go. Everything is black and there are no landmarks. If we walk, we probably wouldn't even be able to tell if we were gettin' anywhere."

"Yeah, it'll be hard, but I think we can do it." Luigi stated, trying to instill team confidence. "Besides, what else can we do?"

With that, the reunited trio began their search for the door leading to the End of Time. Although they wished it was under different circumstances, they were happy to be back together. The last time they all saw each other was before the race.

"Hey, you know the last time we were all together was before your race with Falcon?" Link realized. "That feels like it was over a hundred years ago!"

"Technically, it was over a hundred years ago." Luigi said.

"Heh, true." Link laughed. "So who won?"

"We did." Mario said with a smile. "The race got so out of control that we ended up finishing it on foot. Falcon was about to win but he slipped on a Banana Peel."

"Of all the possible finishes, you guys get saved by a random Banana Peel... After this is over, I gotta hear more." Link said.

"So what's been going on with you? We heard you got drunk and started a riot." Luigi said.

Link's heart sunk. He was hoping he didn't have to talk about that.

"Are you even old enough to drink?" Mario wondered.

"I'm not a kid! I just lost control." Link defended.

"You don't just 'lose control'. I know you, Link. There was a catalyst somewhere. Something drove you over the edge..." Mario said.

Link sullenly looked down to the floor.

_Damnit... He must be talking about the phone call... Why'd you tell 'em, Tanaka?_

"Don't look down to the floor. You're supposed to be telling me what it was!" Mario said.

Link immediately picked up his head. He looked at Mario, trying to suppress a smile.

"You're still not telling me what happened..." Mario sighed, growing annoyed.

"Some guys challenged me to a drinkin' contest..." Link lied. "I just wanted to shut them up, but I guess I ODed. I don't even remember if I won. I do remember that Phoenix came to arrest me for violatin' Time a little while afterward. I was drunk and I got pissed, so I tried to fight back. You know how the rest goes."

"...I'm telling your mom." Luigi threatened.

"Shut up, Luigi." Mario and Link shot back.

They walked on in silence. As they traveled through the darkness, they noticed holes appearing in the ground at random. No sounds occurred when the holes appeared. They just came without warning. They would also disappear in a similar fashion.

"Where do you think those holes lead to?" Mario asked, breaking the silence.

"What? Those plot-holes?" Luigi asked.

"That's what they're called?" Mario wondered.

"No idea, but that's what I'm calling them. They make no sense. ...kinda like a plot-hole." Luigi said.

"You're so clever. So anyway, where do you think they go?" Mario asked again.

"Oblivion." Link simply replied.

"As if we're not there already." Mario said.

"Maybe they lead back to reality." Luigi guessed.

"Because we just might be that lucky..." Mario said.

"I'm gonna have to disagree with you, too, Luigi." Link agreed with Mario's sarcastic comment.

"Well, we might..." Luigi muttered. "Why don't you jump in, Mario? If it leads back to Hyrule, let us know."

Mario only shot back a menacing smile and a sardonic "hmph".

Silence befell the crew again. Nobody knew what to say to each other. There may have been much to talk about, but it just wasn't the time. The three were more focused on finding an exit than sharing words. Besides, traveling aimlessly through a dark void definitely had a knack for stifling conversation.

As they walked on, the environment began to gain a blue hue. _Interesting_, they collectively thought, but continued without sharing a word about it. Even more interesting, however, were their shadows suddenly appearing before them on the ground. Their walking slowed to a stop as they watched their shadows mimic their every move.

"...doesn't there need to be light before there's shadows?" Luigi wondered.

No one answered his question as they all froze in silent fear. Link's shadow suddenly unsheathed a hidden sword and viciously hacked Mario's shadow in half.

The trio could only step back and gasp. They wanted to run, but the fear they felt weighed heavily on them. They couldn't move beyond that.

Luigi's shadow watched in horror as Link's shadow continued to rip through Mario's shadow's corpse. It began backing off slowly, but tripped over itself and fell clumsily to the ground. Link's shadow finally turned towards the fallen shady image. It shook its head "no", pleading for its life as it knew what would happen next. Link's shadow would hear none of it, throwing its black blade through Luigi's silhouette. His shadow fell limp, weighing Link's shadow's sword down. With a strong, upwards slash, Link's shade-ridden image cut through Luigi's, leaving it to crumple messily on the ground.

"What the hell?!" Link finally managed to blurt out.

As if it was answering Mario's question, two bright red spheres unfettered rage glowed where Link's shadow's eyes would be. It slowly began to rise up off the ground, standing at a height as tall as its caster with an obsidian-colored blade in hand.

"Dark Link...?" Link muttered.

"This isn't the first time you seen it?" Mario asked.

"This is the third time I've seen him: I fought the Water Temple, he followed me to the last Smash Brothers tournament, and now." Link explained. "He always comes for me at the worst possible times. And this is the worst of them all: I have nothin' to fight him with and he looks more powerful than ever."

"Should we even bother fighting?" Luigi wondered.

"There's no runnin', man. We have to beat him." Link said.

"Can you fight without a sword?" Mario wondered.

"I know the basics of the basics of punchin' and I can do a cool scissor kick. But after that, I'm screwed." Link said.

"Okay... we just might stand a chance." Mario sarcastically muttered. "Luigi, me and you will fight with everything we have. Link..." Link perked up, looking ready. "...use that cool scissor kick to kick him in the shins when you get a chance."

"..." Link couldn't even reply to that.

Mario and Luigi turned their attention to Dark Link. Despite his evil demeanor, he waited patiently for his opponents to start their attack, glaring menacingly at them with those flaming orbs of fury he used as eyes. Mario and Luigi stood to Dark Link's left and right and assumed a fighting stance.

They attacked.

Dark Link unleashed a devastating Spin Attack without hesitation. His Spin Attack was different from Link's: it created a powerful whirlwind which the brothers could not escape from. Trapped in a vortex of pain, the brothers could feel several additional hits smack them around mercilessly. Only seconds into the fight, the brothers felt as if they couldn't go on. Dark Link's opening move was already too much for them.

The whirlwind finally subsided while the brothers were a few feet in the air. They fell, seemingly lifeless, to the ground. And just to spit in their face, a huge plot-hole appeared right where the brothers were falling. Unable to do a thing, the two helplessly fell through.

The environment went from that blue hue to a murky red as they tumbled through the hole. Finally, they reached the ground, landing hard on their backs. As they struggled to their feet, they glanced around the area in an attempt to figure out where they were.

Immediately, they saw Link fighting his dark doppelganger, just in time to watch him perform his fabled "cool scissor kick". Catching a foot to his face, Dark Link stumbled backwards. Refusing to let Dark Link even breathe, Link threw himself at his opponent and bought him to the floor. He followed up with a flurry of hard and wild punches, aiming for any opened spot available.

"Link is pretty vicious." Luigi noticed.

"We can't worry about fighting etiquettes now. We're trying to live!" Mario said. "GO, LINK!!"

As the brothers began to cheer for their Hylian comrade, Link had managed to literally knock off a chunk of Dark Link's face, sending it sailing to the side of them and landing with a "splat".

"Yeah, Link!" Mario applauded.

"Break his face!" Luigi ordered.

While they concentrated on the massive-scale beating Link was dealing, they didn't notice the liquidy mess sliding across the floor, sneakily creeping behind them. As it crept, it began gaining extra appendages, such as legs, arms, and a pair of glowing, red eyes... Once behind the unsuspecting brothers, it had become whole and rose to its feet. A sword faded into its hand...

The brothers watched Link clasp his hand around his dark copy's neck as he raised his fist. This would be the definitive blow. The brothers could think of nothing else but giving each other a hearty hug. After their failure to even touch Dark Link, they thought it was over, but Link proved to be more battle-savvy than he led on. Once again, they'd defy Fate and accomplish the impossible.

But Fate quickly reminded them that he was _not_ to be defied.

As soon as Mario and Luigi embraced each other, a sudden cold sensation felt as if it penetrated them. Mario looked behind Luigi. A pointed end seemed to be sticking out of his back... Luigi looked behind Mario. Dark Link stood there, a devious smirk spread across his face has he slowly slid his sword out of his brother's back.

Once the sword was out, the brothers collapsed. They could only look up to Dark Link, his eyes glowing with satisfaction as he heard a terrified scream.

"NOOO!!"

Immediately, Link was with them, tears flowing freely from his eyes. The brothers wanted to speak, but their energy was sapped. They heard a voice shouting for them, but it sounded muffled and warped. Their senses were leaving them. It was a struggle for them just to keep their eyes opened.

This was it... The end of the Mario brothers. The only thing they could do was watch Link and his dark copy finish their battle.

Link rose to his feet and glared at Dark Link. He seemed to be smiling. Link wouldn't let that slide. He charged at him, throwing a hard fist right at his jaw to wipe that sneer of his face. Dark Link was floored, losing his sword as it flew out of his hand. Link could only think of one thing to do as he claimed Dark Link's weapon and pointed it at his dark visage. But even in the face of guaranteed death, Dark Link still seemed to be smiling. Link wasn't going to leave that sneer there for long. He bought his hand back, ready to throw it through his enemy's face in an instant.

But the sudden blade thrown through his back let him know he took too long to act. Link fell to one knee in excruciating pain and astounded disbelief. A dark hand pulled Dark Link to his feet. To Link's astonishment, another Dark Link was standing in front of him. It then degenerated into a liquidy blob and found a place on the original Dark Link's face. A taunting laugh echoed in Link's ears as he finally fell over, exhausted and on the verge of death alongside the Mario brothers.

As he suffered in his last moments, Link felt the blade lift out of his back. He managed to turn over once the sword was completely out of him. It floated above him, the hilt pointing down toward him. If he had the strength, he could reach up and grab the handle...

Gathering every little bit he had left, Link lifted his arm up as high as it could go. The hilt touched his palm. He grabbed on tightly. Just as he clasped the sword in his hand, it rose up higher, lifting Link off the ground. As he floated, Link noticed he was traveling closer to Dark Link. He didn't seem to notice Link dangling from the sword's handle, though. Though his hand was outstretched, as if he was summoning the sword, his eyes were closed.

Link couldn't have wished for a better opportunity.

Using his last burst of adrenaline, Link pulled the blade down with his weight, charged at the unsuspecting Dark Link, and impaled him through the brain. Both of them fell in a crumpled mess on the floor. Neither of them moved...

Before the brothers could take their last breath, another plot-hole appeared below them. They appeared through the other side, back in a blue-hued environment. Surprising to both of them was the fact that neither of them were mortally wounded. They both stood on their own two feet.

"What... happened?" Luigi uttered.

Mario couldn't even answer. He automatically feared the worst: what he and his brother just experienced might've been a forecast of the very near future...

Before he could voice his thoughts to his younger sibling...

"You're back!" Link shouted out. The brothers looked towards a battered Link running towards them. "I thought it was over when you two fell through that hole!"

"Where's Dark Link?" Mario asked.

"I dunno. After you guys fell in that hole, we've been fightin' ever since. The last thing he did was smack me with his shield, then he disappeared." Link said. "I know he's still around, though."

"Okay." Mario nodded. "Link, I think we should run next time we see him."

"What?" Link's face screwed up in confusion. "I told you we can't run from him. The only way we can escape him is if we fight and beat him."

"Listen, we have to run." Mario stressed. "We won't survive if we try to fight. I think I saw our deaths when we fell down that plot-hole."

Those words hit Link hard. He looked to Luigi for verification. He could only nod slowly.

"You guys can't be givin' up on me." Link refused to hear what they were saying. "We didn't come all this way to die in the middle of nowhere."

"Link, this isn't about heroism. We're helpless here. If we fight, we're going to die." Mario argued.

"I know that, but if we run, we're going to die faster." Link countered. "I know what I'm talkin' about, Mario. Dark Link won't quit until we're just memories. I'm not tryin' to be a hero now. If I'm gonna go out, it won't be with my back turned, runnin' away. He's gonna have to work for this kill."

"The floor..." Luigi interrupted with a shaky voice, glancing around his feet.

Mario and Link looked down. Endless legions of hands seemed to be shooting out of the ground, trying to grab at their ankles. They kicked in resistance, but their feet sailed right though them. Finally, they felt a tight grip around their legs dragging them down into the darkness. They struggled to escape, but of course, their efforts were met with failure.

Just before they fell completely under, they stopped sinking, with their necks just barely sticking out of the ground. All the hands around them began regrouping until there was only one left. It climbed out of the ground, followed by the rest of its body. Dark Link made his presence felt as he summoned his dark blade to his side. Mario, Link, and Luigi could only wonder what would happen to them now that they had no possible way of protecting themselves.

Dark Link stopped at Luigi first. He poked him in the forehead a couple of times with his sword. Luigi's eyes were shut tight, flinching each time he felt the steel touch his forehead. Suddenly, he felt a sharp blow to his cheek. Dark Link just kicked him in the face. Dark Link continued to mercilessly kick Luigi until his head tilted to the side motionless.

"STOP!!" Mario pleaded, not able to take watching the merciless assault on his brother.

Dark Link suddenly turned to his direction. He braced himself, expecting a similar fate. Immediately, Dark Link stomped on the ground. Mario flew up out of his hole in the ground, and floated in the air. Dark Link seemingly teleported to the floating Mario and gave him a monstrous backhanded slap with his shield. He spiraled as he fell to the floor, and skidded to a stop after he landed, lying unconscious as well.

Dark Link finally walked toward Link. As his evil copy walked toward him, Link glared at him, showing no fear. Link noticed that the closer Dark Link got, the more of his body came out of the ground. Eventually, they stood face-to-face. Link's bright blue eyes burned a hole through Dark Link's glowing reds.

Then Dark Link began laughing. His voice sounded exactly like his. A taunting laughter... The cackling grew louder and louder until Link couldn't take it anymore.

He reared his fist back and swung forward with all his might, aiming for Dark Link's face. His fist connected perfectly, crushing Dark Link's nose. Dark Link stumbled back, then caught his footing. He looked up at Link and started laughing again; the same taunting laughter. The type of laughter that said:

"It's impossible for you to beat me. No matter how hard you try, no matter how powerful you get, I will always be one level above you. And I will always be there to make your life hell. There's no escape. None."

Infuriated, Link swung at his foe again. Dark Link reacted with a dodging spin. Link continued to come closer and closer, rearing his fist back to deal another heavy punch. Dark Link suddenly stumbled as Link closed in on him. This was all Link needed, as he landed another precise blow to his doppelganger's face.

But something was wrong...

As his dark copy sprawled out from the hit, Link dropped as well. Pain of a magnitude he could never hope to describe shot through his abdomen and radiated throughout his body. He clutched his stomach only to find a misplaced hilt. It suddenly hit him...

He had been impaled by Dark Link's sword.

Dark Link took the attack on purpose. Upon realization, he found Dark Link standing over him, once again with that cruel smirk...

Just then, Mario finally opened his eyes. The world appeared to him as an undecipherable blur. Despite this, he managed to rise to his feet, but unsteadily stumbling around as he tried to get his vision back into focus. Rubbing his eyes seemed to help as the world gradually came back into focus.

Immediately, he was able to make out two figures: one green and one black. He concentrated on these figures as his vision returned. Once Mario was able to make them out, though, he wished he was unconscious again. He watched as Dark Link viciously pulled his sword from Link's stomach. A stream of blood ran down his green tunic as Link sunk to the ground.

"NOOOOOOOO!!" Mario screamed as he bulleted toward Link.

Dark Link intervened with another thunderous blow from his shield. Mario flew back and landed hard on his back. Still not over the last hit he got from Dark Link, Mario remained on the ground, unable to even see or think straight.

Dark Link turned his attention back to the suffering Link, who was growing weaker with each passing second. He marveled at the unfathomable pain that could be seen in his eyes. It pleasured him to the point where it was questionable. With the face of his sword under Link's chin, he guided him to his feet. He smiled at his weak compliance.

Link had no idea what to do. He may've said if he was going to die, it wouldn't be with his back turned, but he didn't anticipate dying at all. He watched his dark clone twist his body, preparing to slice him into nothingness with his Spin Attack. But then, with the randomness they're known for, a plot-hole suddenly appeared behind Dark Link. His adrenaline pumped for possibly the last time as he thought of one last-ditch effort to save the brothers from his dark doppelganger.

Mario came to his senses once again. Ignoring the unbearable pain of a possible concussion, he hopped to his feet, remembering the last thing he saw before he got knocked out. He was just in time to see Dark Link unleash a Spin Attack directed toward Link's head. With a sudden burst of energy, he ducked under the swing of the blade, which hacked off the top of his hood as well as some renegade hairs. Dark Link's back was to Link when he tackled him. Mario watched both of them tumble right into a plot-hole, which promptly disappeared afterward.

Mario was left stunned. To describe what he was feeling was impossible. It was deeper than the deepest kind of hopelessness and sorrow imaginable. His migraine wasn't helping either. Not knowing what else to do, he headed over Luigi, who was still buried neck-deep in the ground. As Mario came closer, Luigi started coming to.

"Luigi?" Mario called out, not knowing whether his brother was conscious or not.

"Don't talk so loud..." Luigi muttered. "The slightest vibration in my eardrums gives me a headache."

"Sorry..." Mario apologized, his voice quieter than before.

"How long was I out? I feel like I've been here forever." Luigi said.

"We've been through so much; we might as well have been here forever." Mario sighed.

Luigi glanced around, on the lookout for Link and Dark Link. As far as he could tell, they weren't there...

"Where's Link?" Luigi wondered.

Mario hesitated, his heart growing heavier for each word he had to convey to Luigi telling him about Link's fate.

Luigi could see it in Mario's face. Something was horribly wrong.

"Mario...?" Luigi murmured.

"Link... was stabbed in the stomach..." Mario forced out. Luigi closed his eye and bowed his head solemnly. "A plot-hole appeared behind them a second later..." Mario continued. "...and somehow, Link mustered enough strength to tackle Dark Link. They both fell in the hole."

"They'll be back." Luigi stated, sounding optimistic.

"Are you sure? Just because we came back from the plot-hole we fell in doesn't mean they will. I don't think all plot-holes are the same." Mario disagreed.

"I have to be optimistic about it. It's like Link kept saying: we didn't come all this way to die." Luigi said.

"But what about the wound in his stomach? It went right in." Mario remembered. "And what about what we saw in that plot-hole? That had to have foreshadowed our end..."

"Maybe..." Luigi countered. "We all died in that scene. But so many things have happened between then and now where we all should've died, and yet, here we are. Even Link managed to tackle Dark Link into a plot-hole after getting stabbed."

"You're right... but that means Dark Link will live, too." Mario pointed out.

"Yep..." Luigi muttered. "I guess we'll be crossing that hurdle when we get there. But right now, you need to pluck me out of the ground."

Mario nodded. He grabbed Luigi's head and was about to pull, but halted for a second.

"Okay... How am I supposed to do this? I can't really pull you out by your head..." Mario said.

"You're right..." Luigi agreed. "If I could get myself out, I would, but I can't even wiggle my toes. It doesn't even feel like dirt I'm buried in. It's almost like some type of concrete."

"Concrete..." Mario groaned. "...and I forgot my jackhammer at home..."

Luigi laughed a little. "You don't usually make jokes when bad things happen."

"I'm just following your example. It's better than thinking we're all going to die here." Mario admitted.

Luigi smiled in response. "We still gotta figure out how we're gonna get me outta here."

Mario stood by and thought for a second. As he thought, he felt the ground beneath him get softer. It kept getting softer to the point where it felt like there was nothing there at all. Then he felt like he was falling. He looked down and actually saw the rest of Luigi's body falling below him.

The brothers landed hard on top of each other. Still feeling the hurt from their ordeal, they writhed in pain.

"I love the Darkness of Time..." Luigi groaned. "Stupid plot-holes..."

Mario was the first to his feet, though holding his back. He looked around. The first thing he noticed was that the environment was a deep black again. He also noticed a tinge of brown in the distance.

"Is that...? I think we're here!" Mario exclaimed.

"Huh?" Luigi wondered at the sound of Mario's excitement.

"The End of Time! The door is right there!" Mario exclaimed, pointing toward it.

Luigi immediately jumped to his feet, then immediately held his tailbone in pain. He was in no condition to celebrate with excessive body movements.

"I'm so glad we're here. I hope Gaspar or Spekkio know how to get the Time Egg working again." Luigi hoped.

"They might know how to find Link, too." Mario speculated. "Let's get going."

Mario and Luigi made their way to the door leading to the End of Time, half running, half limping. They finally reached it, stopping right in front and staring at it in awe. Luigi grabbed the knob and turned.

They opened the door leading to more of the Darkness of Time. The End of Time was nowhere in sight.

"There's nothing here..." Mario muttered.

"Maybe there's more than one door." Luigi guessed.

"There better be. Let's go back and check it out." Mario suggested.

The brothers about-faced to exit through the door they came through. To their surprise, there was no door to exit through!

"...there was a door here a second ago." Mario calmly pointed out despite his disbelief.

"Well obviously it's gone now." A brash, yet somehow familiar voice spat.

"Huh?" The brothers simultaneously turned around. They couldn't believe who it was.

A Lakitu. And not just any Lakitu; this was the same Lakitu that delivered the Red Fire to Casino Palace.

"No..." Mario gasped, shaking his head.

"How is it possible that you're here?" Luigi wondered. "This place is like a rift in dimensions. We used a machine specifically designed for the sole purpose of sending people here to get here."

"Have you ever wondered how you get your deliveries sent directly to you by only whistling?" The Lakitu asked. "The answer is technology more advanced than anything you can possibly fathom. So now that that question's been answered, you might be asking another one. I dunno, I'm guessing: 'why is this Lakitu here?' Well, if I remember correctly, you guys didn't pay me for my services. What, you think I'm running some sort of charity? You think I do this for the sole satisfaction of delivering some junk that some idiots can't deliver themselves? I'll let you answer this question. What do you think?"

"Yes, you do." Mario answered.

"And what the hell would give me the incentive to be so mindlessly kind?" The Lakitu asked.

"Because I will kill you if you keep this up." Mario threateningly answered. "We're not paying you a penny! You don't deserve anything after what you put the entire kingdom through when your entire species worked for Bowser."

"Here's a news flash, buddy: times have changed!" The Lakitu stated. "We all work under our own free will, now. And my free will demands my just payment. I don't enjoy this job. I don't enjoy the people I see doing this job. I don't like the people I work with doing this job. I don't like the places I end up doing this job. With all my heart, I _hate_ this job. The only reason I'm stuck doing this crap is because everyone is under the same impression you are. Everyone thinks we're still loyal servants of King Koopa. If I wrote a book about how I felt about Bowser, I'd have the number one best-seller. We all get stuck with the jobs no one wants. I take it personally when my kind gets jerked on a payment because someone thinks we don't deserve it. I personally make sure that that person pays dearly. And yes, that was a double entendre."

"I'm glad you're so clever. And no, despite your pitiful sob story, I'm still not paying." Mario stated, heatedly. "I know you loved every second of terror and mayhem you bought. Before Bowser, Lakitus were considered jokes. I don't blame anyone that thought that, just look at you! The nerdy glasses, the puffy cloud with a happy face, the three hairs on your otherwise bald head... What's there to take seriously about you? But when Bowser armed you with those Spinies and combined it with your ability to fly, that's when you became dangerous. No longer were Lakitus laughed at. You were feared, and you loved it."

"You know what? I'm obviously not getting anywhere. I try asking nicely, and I get a shitty attitude in response." Lakitu muttered, shaking his head. "As much as I hated Bowser's guts, he and I agreed on one thing: the only way to get what you want is by force."

"You're nothing without your cohort Spinies! What are you gonna do? Rain on me?" Mario said.

Right there, Lakitu began to transform right in front of their eyes. The three hairs on his head grew to incredibly shaggy proportions, extending lower than the cloud he floated on. His "nerdy" eye glasses seemed to meld into his eye sockets, resulting in Lakitu gaining big, vein-ridden eyes. Even the cloud transformed: its usually serene and cute smile mutated into a demented sneer. Along with these changed, Lakitu also grew to three times its normal size. Once it seemed to have finished changing, it floated there, staring at Mario and Luigi with menacing intent.

"Mario..." Luigi whispered, his voice trembling a little.

"What?" Mario responded, sounding upset with himself.

"You know what I wondered to myself when you told him off? 'I hope we didn't just add an unnecessary obstacle to our journey.'" Luigi said.

"Please shut up. How was I supposed to know the one Lakitu I tell off also happened to be some deranged, mutant Lakitu?" Mario defended.

"Don't refer to me as a Lakitu when I'm in this form." The Lakitu growled with a deep, seemingly two-voiced voice. "I'm a Lukati now."

"You're still a mutated Lakitu." Mario replied, fearlessly.

"You're just trying to die, aren't you? The angrier I get, the more powerful I become. And the more powerful I become, the more painful your death will be." Lukati snarled. "Now that you're seeing me like this, maybe it scared some sense into you. I'm going to try one last time: give me my money and I will let you go."

"Intimidation doesn't work on me or my brother. You're not getting anything from us." Mario bravely stated.

"I'm pretty intimidated, right now." Luigi murmured. Mario promptly elbowed him in the stomach.

Lukati sighed in disappointment. Silence followed; a very uneasy silence. This was the first time either brother saw a Lukati, so they expected anything and everything.

"Then kiss your asses goodbye!" Lukati roared in a monstrous rage.

He threw his arms out and screamed into the air. His cloud's crooked sneer also grew wider and wider. Suddenly, lightning surged from his entire body and shot out in ever conceivable direction. Of course, Mario and Luigi were hit with a heavy dosage of electricity. They flew back from the shocking impact. Neither of them could even think about fighting back. Staring up in a daze, they only thought of how they could possibly survive Lukati's onslaught. As they stared up, faces began appearing in their view. The face was accompanied by rows of sharp, yellow, ravenous teeth and huge, deep black eyes.

The brothers jumped to their feet, only to find themselves surrounded by a five dangerous creatures. Each one of them had beige bodies protected by a grand, spiky shell.

"Mutated Spinies..." Mario muttered.

"Say hello to my five pets: Spike, Spikester, Spikeson, Spikesworth, and Spii." Lukati introduced. "Call them Spikies. They'll be mauling you to death in a few moments."

"Them?" Mario said, glancing at all of them. "You know you're just proving my point? Even in your scary new powerful form, you still depend on your little minions to finish us."

"I don't think we're strong enough to fight him." Luigi whispered. "I don't even think we're strong enough to fight just one of these guys."

Immediately, five popping sounds occurred. Spikes began flying everywhere. They flew right into Mario and Luigi's skin, sending a surge of pain with each spike lodged in their body. They fell to the floor, writhing in blinding agony.

"And you wonder why I don't want to take you myself?" Lukati asked. "I'm all for senseless violence and unfair advantages, but me against both of you is the same as both of you in a sealed room full of carbon monoxide. There's no chance at survival. Now you against my five Spikies... that's like you in a room full of carbon monoxide with no door, but a window slightly opened. There's a chance you might get out alive. Now... you have twenty seconds before Spikesworth and his brothers rip you two apart. Say your last words, then prepare for eternity."

"Okay, twenty seconds to plan. What do we do?" Luigi asked.

Mario paused as if he was thinking of something. Instead, he replied...

"I'm going to hope something comes out of nowhere to save us from an unbearably painful death." Mario said. "There's nothing we can do."

"Ten seconds..." Lukati announced.

Luigi bowed his head and closed his eyes. "What I wouldn't give for a plot-hole right now..." He sighed.

In the distance, ten feet behind Lukati, a small plot-hole appeared.

"I believe your plot-hole is somewhere over there." Lukati pointed out.

"Damnit..." The brothers sighed simultaneously.

"Well, your time is up." Lukati said. "What do you know, another double meaning. Maybe I should write that book..." He mused as his monstrous pets closed in on the helpless brothers, snarling loudly.

"...maybe you shouldn't... I think you're trying too hard..." Luigi muttered meekly under his breath.

"Really?" Lukati managed to hear. "Well, I think you're about to die."

As he said that, the mutated Spikies jumped at the helpless, spike-pummeled Mario brothers. They closed their eyes and braced themselves as they prepared for a pain they would never forget, even in the afterlife.

They heard and felt the whoosh of a blowing wind. Immediately, that struck them as weird. During the entire time they were in the Darkness of Time, they never felt any type of wind. It was also a long time since they closed their eyes. They opened their eyes to see that they were alone, except for a stunned Lukati. He seemed to be staring at something in dumbfounded awe.

The brothers stood up, noticing a fine dust floating off of them as they rose. They then looked over to where Lukati was staring. A black figure stood there with his back facing his audience, with sword and shield mounted there. The shield was in the shape of a five-sided diamond, with a thick black outline. On its shining silver face, a design similar to a black clock was seen, and in the middle of it, there was a strange slit.

"That can only be Link." Mario said out loud with a smile beyond relief.

"Damn right." Link replied, turning around.

Mario and Luigi were surprised when they saw Link's front side. The biggest difference was his body size. Link looked much stronger than he did before: his arms were thicker and ripped, and his chest was bigger. He was also wearing a black tunic as well as a black hood to match, still with the same-old off-white pants he usually wore.

"Where did you come from?!" Lukati demanded.

"You don't need to worry about it." Link replied.

"What type of retarded answer is that?!" Lukati shouted, growing in anger and power.

"What did I just say?" Link casually responded.

"RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH!! !" Lukati boomed as electricity pulsed out of his body and bulleted wildly in every direction.

He then held his hand out. All the lightning he emitted stopped their unpredictable paths and rushed into his hand. One huge thunderball emerged as he stared threateningly at Link. Lukati clasped his hand into a fist. The ball of lightning turned into a huge bolt. With that, he threw the bolt directly at Link at the speed of light.

From the brothers' perspective, Link just stood there. Suddenly, the lightning bolt bounced off of him and pounded Lukati off of his cloud and onto the ground before he even realized it. They turned to each other in bewilderment.

_Instant slow-motion replay._

Lukati chucked the tremendous bolt of lightning forward. It bolted toward Link, shocking even the tiny molecules of oxygen in the air. Link smiled, then whipped out his shield and put it in front of him. The clock on the shield glowed gold and the slit in the middle opened up, revealing a large clear eye. The lightning rushed straight into the eye, leaving Link unscathed. The eye then blinked once. The lightning poured out of the eye as if it was crying electricity, then it rocketed right back to the mutated Lakitu, knocking him senseless off his cloud.

Lying on his back in confusion, Lukati could only wonder what just happened. His question would never be answered, though. Link stomped on the ground, sending a shockwave that traveled through the floor, directly to the grounded Lukati, and knocking him into the air. Link then unsheathed his sword. The blade was just as black as the rest of the Darkness of Time, seemingly made from the infinite blackness itself. Link bolted toward the air-born Lukati, who was still on an upward ascent. He moved so fast, it was impossible to track him with the naked eye. Once Link was right within prime striking range, Link swung upward, slashing right through Lukati's shell. Momentarily, it seemed as if Link did nothing. He stopped behind Lukati and sheathed his sword again. Lukati finally began to fall to the floor. At that precise moment, Lukati separated into two symmetric halves. He then disintegrated into obscurity; unnoticeable dust from his body dispersed in all directions.

Completely awestruck by Link's new arsenal, the brothers could do nothing but clap for his outstanding performance.

"Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all night." Link said appreciatively, taking a bow.

"I really hope not." Mario said.

"I've never wanted to leave somewhere so badly..." Luigi groaned.

"Well, today is your lucky day!" Link announced. "That's actually gonna be my next trick. But to do it right, I'm gonna need one Time Egg."

Mario took the egg out of his pocket and handed it to Link.

"Alright, watch the skills." Link stated.

He then threw the egg into the air. As the Time Egg floated upward, Link did a backflip away from the egg. The egg began its descent. As it fell, Link unsheathed his sword. The egg was at the same level as Link's eyes when he looked at it. He then stabbed forward, piercing the Time Egg and shattering the shell. A black shadow in the shape of a bird was impaled by the sword. The shadow then diffused into the blade. The blade began radiating a black aura. Link smiled at the brothers as they looked back at him as if he was crazy. He _did_ just destroy their only way of escaping this dark hell.

Link then turned his back to the brothers and looked out into the darkness. Suddenly, he slashed at the darkness in four distinct directions: to the right, to the left, up, and then down. Link finished it off with a kneeling palm-strike forward into the empty air.

With a surprising explosion, a huge hole appeared before them. It looked like a plot-hole, only it was in the air, and the other side of the hole was not displaying dark nothingness. On the other side, there was a green field with a dirt path cutting through the middle under a starlit night sky. Being exposed to bland emptiness for so long, all three of them stood and marveled at the simple beauty of the night.

"Guys..." Link began. "Once we step through this portal, we'll be back in Hyrule, exactly where we're supposed to be."

"Lies." Mario simply replied, trying to suppress a hopeful smile.

"I'm not lyin', man." Link shook his head with a big smile. "This is it. What you're looking at is Hyrule Field at nighttime."

The brothers looked at each other. They were beside themselves in indescribable glee. They took a few steps closer to the portal, stopping where Link was standing. They all looked at each other, then stepped through the portal.

There was an immediate change in atmosphere. The environment in the Darkness of Time felt desolate, hopeless, painful, and empty. The environment on Hyrule Field was completely different. They could actually feel happiness. They felt optimism. They felt opportunity. Even the pain the brothers felt was gone. They looked at themselves. Everywhere they had been bruised, wounded, and cut had been healed.

"The air is so fresh and cool... I can't believe we're here. I _don't_ believe we're here. This is too good to be true." Mario said.

"Need proof? Look over there." Luigi said, looking behind the three-man crew.

All three of them turned around to see Ganondorf's castle. Over the castle, sky was overcast, with lightning flashing violently as thunder boomed. The looming fortress served as a reminder of why they've been through what they've been through.

"We're here, Mario." Link said.

"Yeah..." Mario agreed. "Okay, here's the plan of action. Right now: sleep. Right under the stars. Sleep as well as you can because tomorrow, we have a pivotal day ahead of us. The final battle begins."

"With my new powers, we'll be done quickly." Link stated, confidently.

"That's another thing. You need to let us know what you can do. You have to tell us about what happened when you tackled Dark Link into that plot-hole tomorrow, too." Luigi said.

"No problem. I'll be tellin' this story to my kids when I have 'em!" Link said.

"Alright, lights out, people." Mario said, making a comfortable spot for himself in the soft grass of the gentle plains.

Luigi and Link followed suit, plopping themselves right onto the ground.

"Good night, peeps." Link murmured.

"Night, Link." The brothers responded as all three of them closed their eyes and fell asleep.


	23. Only the Beginning: Part 1

**Act 10****: **_**Only the Beginning**_ (Part 1)

The alarm clock sounded off a little after sunrise. Ganondorf groggily rose from his king-sized bed and untangled himself from a few blankets. Stretching and yawning, he reached for his robe and grabbed a remote control. This remote was for his plasma screen surveillance monitor. The monitor could see what was going on in various parts of Hyrule through mysterious surveying wizardry. Flipping through channel after channel, he saw that nothing was really happening. Hyrule was still asleep for the most part. On one particular channel, though, a small group of people were discussing Ganondorf's rule. With his interest peaked, he stayed on that channel, listening to what they had to say.

"You must be out of your mind! How could you favor Ganondorf's iron-fisted tyranny?" One guy questioned.

"Tyranny? What exactly has Ganondorf done ever since he took over? The skies are a little darker and Hyrule castle looks more menacing than majestic. Okay." Another guy said, answering his own question. "Other than that, has he changed your lives in any way, shape, or form?"

Silence befell the group.

"No? Not at all? That's what I thought." He concluded.

"So he hasn't made any moves yet. But there's always the threat of him suddenly deciding to spring into action." A woman said. "Because of him, we all live in fear! Why would you want that?"

"Please, speak for yourself. I agree with Poshul. Ganondorf isn't changing anyone's life." Another guy said. "If you're living in fear, then there's honestly something wrong with you. If anything, you should be living more comfortably than ever before! With Ganondorf in power, who would dare to oppose us? He has so many minions at his disposal; no citizens would have to be sacrificed in a war. In fact, I'm sure Ganondorf himself can take out entire armies! Why are you living in fear when someone like that is our ruler?"

Ganondorf was admittedly surprised to find out that there were actually people who weren't only unaffected by him, but always wanted him as a ruler. He was greatly satisfied with being feared by many, but now that he knew he was respected... and not out of fear...

"Damn... I'm respected because of my power, not feared. Maybe I can lead Hyrule to a new era... A golden age..." Ganondorf said to himself, stroking his chin in deep thought. "A golden age of Darkness! HA!! Terror and intimidation 'til the day I die, baby! These people don't fear me? I'll show 'em why they should."

Ganondorf changed to one last channel before turning off the monitor. A group of three people were passed out in the middle of Hyrule field, somewhere between the entrance to Kokiri Forest and Lake Hylia. Ganondorf took one glance at the crew and shut off the monitor.

He headed to his bathroom to prepare for the day. Just as he applied toothpaste to his toothbrush and started brushing, something hit him.

_Nobody in Hyrule sleeps in the middle of Hyrule Field!_

He jetted back to his surveillance monitor and turned it on, with the toothbrush in his mouth and toothpaste beginning to drool down his chin. He saw the group of three just as he left them: passed out in the grass, and slightly spooning each other... With a raised and unsure eyebrow from Ganondorf, he studied the crew. He couldn't tell who they were right away, though. The camera was pretty far away and the person he could see best was wearing what seemed to be a black tunic.

Then it seemed like the one in the middle was stirring. He reached an arm up to scratch his head, only to find out that one of his companions was resting on top of it. As he grew more awake, he saw the position they were all in, immediately feeling awkward and sick. He shoved the guy in front of him and and threw an elbow to the one behind him. Ganondorf could faintly hear them arguing amongst themselves.

"What the hell was all that about?!" Black tunic shouted, sitting up and rubbing his shoulder where the elbow hit.

"I need breathing space and elbow room. Both of you spooning me provides neither." The one in the middle said. Ganondorf saw that he was wearing red.

"Mario?" Ganondorf wondered with a perplexed look.

"How did we end up in that position? I could've sworn I was sleeping by that rock." Another guy in green said, stretching while pointing to where he was.

"Luigi?!" Ganondorf gasped.

"Promise you won't kill me for this..." Black tunic started, getting up on his feet and defensively holding up his arms. "I was gettin' cold, so I moved us all closer together."

"OH SHIT!! LINK!!" Ganondorf shouted and nearly fell to the floor, spitting out his toothbrush. "Why is he lookin' so chiseled? He was never that built before!"

"Wouldn't it make more sense for you to be in the middle since you were the big strong hero who can't handle a little cold?" Mario wondered, still upset about where he found himself.

"I thought about it... Then I said 'nah'. Too much togetherness for me." Link replied.

"What makes you think I'd enjoy it any more than you would?!" Mario shouted.

"I don't really know." Link admitted. "It was real late and I was real tired, not to mention real cold. I was still kinda asleep when I was doin' it, too, so I wasn't thinkin' clearly."

"Don't use that as an excuse. Even when you're awake, you don't think clearly." Mario sighed.

Ganondorf shut off the monitor and jetted to Bowser's room, just a few rooms down the hall.

"BOWSER!!" Ganondorf screamed, kicking down the door. "Bowser! Guess who... the... ...hell...?"

Ganondorf's speech slowed to a stop when he saw Bowser. Just as he entered the room, Bowser immediately covered his lower body with his blankets and also hid his hands.

"What?" Bowser innocently asked.

"I'm not even gonna ask..." Ganondorf sighed. "Yo, Mario, Luigi, and Link finally made it here. I jus' saw 'em sleepin' in the middle of Hyrule Field."

"FINALLY!!" Bowser sighed out in a relieved fashion. "That took forever..."

"We gotta get ready, man. We been anticipatin' this day for a long-ass time now..." Ganondorf warned.

"You're still gonna call DK, right?" Bowser asked.

"It's been a while since I last called him up. I'ma be surprised if he still remembers." Ganondorf admitted.

"Those three are probably on their way, so you better reach him now." Bowser suggested.

"Aight, I'm callin'." Ganondorf said and left the room, neglecting to close the door.

"Ganondorf! Shut the damn door!" Bowser shouted out.

"Check that tone, B-Boss!" Ganondorf warned. "Chill the fuck out and wait for the door to close by itself!"

"Son of a bitch..." Bowser muttered. The door definitely was closing, but at a very slow, very creakity rate. From under the cover, he pulled out a picture of Peach, posing in her tennis miniskirt and blowing a kiss to the camera. He stared longingly at it. "Damnit, I can't wait that long!"

He carefully wrapped the blanket around himself and made his way to the wide-open door in order to close it. He reached for the doorknob and turned the lock just as he was about to shut the door. Right then, Peach walked passed the room. She didn't look in, but Bowser's heart skipped a beat nonetheless. Suddenly, he had a bright idea.

"Hey, Peach!" Bowser called out, walking into the hallway.

Peach turned around. Bowser threw off the blanket covering him and posed with his hands behind his head, swaying just enough and looking very confident.

First, a shriek of disbelief.

Then, the motion of the head looking away accompanied by an embarrassed blushing.

Then, the motion of the turning head looking toward Bowser.

Then, the motion of the head looking downward.

A pause...

Then, silent snickering.

Then, full-blown laughter.

Bowser's smug smile slowly melted away, leaving behind a residue in the form of a confidence-broken scowl.

Peach held up her hand and closed the distance between her finger and her thumb smaller and smaller until the distance between them was microscopic.

"And I'm being generous." Peach stated and started walking away.

"It's more that whatever Mario has!" Bowser countered, trying to retain any shred of dignity he had left.

Just then, the door to his room closed shut.

"SHIT!!" Bowser gasped, grabbing the doorknob and forcing the door opened.

The lock was doing its job very well.

"Grrr... I'm gonna have to get Ganondorf..." Bowser muttered, wrapping his blanket around him and making his way to Ganondorf's room.

He didn't get very far before he felt a sharp tug on his sheet. He looked behind him to see what it was and realized his sheet was stuck. The door closed and locked right over it.

"OH, GODAMNIT!!" Bowser roared.

"Shut the hell up!" Bowser heard Ganondorf shout very faintly. Bowser could also faintly hear drops of water hitting a tub.

"He's in the godamn shower..." Bowser realized. "How much worse can it get?"

Just then, Bowser saw Zelda approaching him. He simply sighed in disappointment and miserably shook his hanging head. Zelda walked passed him, trying as hard as she could to not make any eye contact. She was pretty successful, as Bowser kept his head down. Once Zelda was completely past him, she quickened her pace. Bowser then lifted his head and shrugged.

"You know what? Screw it!" He announced. "Hey, Zelda!"

* * *

"Back on the road agaaaaiiiiiiinnnn..." Link sang as he and his two companions headed toward Ganondorf's stronghold.

"You call that singing?" Mario asked with a slight smile.

"In my mind, I can contend with Malon. But seriously, man, I'm just so glad to be back home!" Link gleefully said. "Just think back to all the crap and madness we went through to get here! I'll admit it; there were a few times where I didn't think we'd ever make it. _Especially_ when dumb-ass Dark Link tried to kill us in the dumb-ass Darkness of Time. But look at us now! You two are at 100 and I'm at 1000! The rest of this trip is gonna be cake. Chocolate cake."

"Now is definitely not the time to get cocky, even if you are stronger." Mario warned. "I _know_ Bowser and Ganondorf have been preparing for us since day one. We have to think they got stronger, too. I know both of us have beaten them one-on-one before, but with them working together, we may be in for the fight of our lives."

"I doubt that." Link countered. "Let's not forget about my serious upgrade in power!"

"How exactly did you get so powerful?" Luigi asked. "Last I remember, Mario told me you got stabbed in the stomach and you tackled Dark Link into a plot-hole."

"That had to be the weirdest and scariest moment in my entire life." Link started. "Let me be the first to tell you: gettin' stabbed in the stomach ain't painful at all."

The brothers could only look at each other in disbelief, muttering "seriously" and "are you kidding me" afterward.

"I'm seriously _not _kidding you. Gettin' stabbed in the stomach ain't painful. Calling the sensation you feel 'pain' is the greatest understatement anyone can ever think of. Not only that; it's just... _insultin'_ to the person experiencin' the feelin'. Pain is tolerable. You can live with pain." Link explained. "The word I need to describe exactly how it felt doesn't exist, and it probably never will. But enough about that. Let's fast-forward to after I tackled Dark Link into the plot-hole..." Link recalled.

A flashback ensued...

_They fell endlessly through an empty, white void. The first thing Link noticed was a black blade falling beside him. He picked it up immediately and faced Dark Link. They glared at each other intensely._

_Thinking his opponent was completely unarmed, Link was somehow able to charge at Dark Link, swinging the sword wildly in a blind rage. Unfortunately for Link, Dark Link still had a means of defense: his virtually impenetrable shield. Certainly disappointed, but far from disheartened, Link continued his relentless attack on his shadow "twin". Dark Link didn't falter in his defense: he easily blocked every swing Link dealt._

_After a while, Link's mortal wound began to remind Link that it was still around. As Link continued his vicious assault, his vision slowly became warped and gradually darkened. He also found himself struggling to stay on the offensive. Despite his failing condition, he forced himself to keep fighting. Link knew his time was coming, but refused to go quietly._

_Dark Link actually managed to force Link off of him at one point in the battle. Even though Dark Link was a very powerful entity, he was actually starting to show signs of fatigue. Fending off Link's relentless swings and slashes were definitely taking its toll on Dark Link's energy._

_Feeling his life literally bleeding out of his stomach, Link knew he couldn't keep this up forever. In one last desperation move, Link put every little bit of strength he had into one last charge. He flew at Dark Link with murderous intent. Within prime swinging range, Link swung with everything he had. Dark Link promptly blocked the blow with his shield. The contact between the sword and the shield resulted in a thunderous crack and even created a slight shockwave._

_Link continued to press the sword against the defending shield as if he was trying to cut through it. Dark Link was able to easily push Link back, though, earning him some breathing space. Link stared at his dark doppelganger, breathing hard with his hand over his stomach wound. As soon as he did this, he knew it was over for him. It was only a matter of time before Dark Link pried the sword out of his hand and inflicted one final mortal blow._

_Dark Link let an evil smirk spread across his face as he raised his shield in front of him. Just as Dark Link was about to slam into his exhausted rival, several cracks began to form on the face of the shield. Suddenly, the shield shattered and disappeared in a wispy black cloud. Both Link and Dark Link were stunned by what they just witnessed._

_Link was able to snap out of his awe quicker than his opponent. In one swift motion, he was able to thrust himself straight at his defenseless opponent's midsection with his sword extended. He connected successfully, burying Dark Link's sword right into his own stomach. Dark Link doubled over, obviously in excruciating agony, as Link mercilessly ripped the sword out of his abdomen._

_Dark Link struggled to look Link in the eye, as if to say "how could you do this to me?"_

"Then I stabbed him in the _face_ because I'm a grimey mofo!" Link boasted as if it was a good thing.

_As soon as the blade touched the tip of his nose, Dark Link shattered exactly how his shield did, but instead of disappearing in a wispy black cloud, all that was left of Dark Link was a formless __glob of blackness. Link eyed it for a while, but it only floated harmlessly and aimlessly._

_As he stared at the formless substance, he felt himself losing consciousness. This was it... the last stretch. He felt sad to go this way. The future held so much promise when he met with the Mario brothers once again... The only thing he could think of to cheer himself up in his final moments was that he was able to help them out one last time by keeping Dark Link away from them._

_As he took his final glances, he noticed the blob of darkness was closing in on him. Its movements were subtle, but every time Link wearily blinked, it was a little closer to him. Link slowly blinked once more. When he opened his eyes, or when he thought he opened his eyes, all he saw was a stark contrast to the endless white he was in: darkness. Deep, consuming, inescapable darkness._

"So you're saying you died?" Luigi guessed.

"I really think I did." Link recalled. "All I remember is bein' completely in the dark. I don't think I was breathin' either. If I really did die, then I guess the elders were right: your soul really is left to wander in the infinite blackness for all eternity."

"But you're here with us now, alive and kicking." Mario wondered.

"I was gettin' there..." Link started.

_It seemed like an eternity since Link last closed his eyes. All he had been doing was trekking through the darkness, trying to find a way out. And for an eternity, he had met with failure. More and more, Link realized there really was no escape. He was doomed to stay in this black, suffocating prison for longer than he could comprehend._

_...until a sudden flash of light bailed him out..._

_He had been so startled by this sudden outburst of light that his heart felt like it was pounding out of his chest. It took him a minute to realize it though, but when he finally calmed down, he recognized the familiar sensation in his chest. He held his hand over his chest._

_"My heart's poundin'... My heart can't pound if I'm dead... I'm alive again!" Link exclaimed. He realized one more thing. "I'm still fallin' through this damn plot-hole?!"_

_Unbelievable but true, Link was still plummeting to no end in the innards of a dimensionless plot-hole. He began trying to think of ways to escape, only to discover that before he even put an ounce of brainpower into a thought-process, he already knew exactly how to get out. Needless to say, Link was surprised by this bit of knowledge he didn't know he had. He was even more shocked by the numerous other things he suddenly knew; namely everything involving the Darkness of Time. It was like he knew this place like he knew home._

_Link also noticed things about himself, physically. First and foremost, his mortal wound was completely healed. So well, in fact, that there wasn't even a scar left over. Every other bodily harm inflicted upon him throughout his life had also completely disappeared too. It was like he had been reborn into a new body. And a stronger body, at that. Link could feel his newfound-strength coursing through his muscles. He felt like he could take on Ganondorf in an arm-wrestling contest! He checked himself out as best as he could. While he wasn't that much bigger than he was before, muscle-wise, he could still see a sharp difference in his build. He was much more defined, as if his body was sculpted by a perfectionist artist._

_Not only did he know things he didn't know before and do things he couldn't do before, he could also sense things he couldn't sense before. Almost automatically, he could sense a rising confrontation between three people. Suddenly, three people turned to eight. With dexterous hand __motions, Link formed a hole in the void. The hole showed him exactly what he was sensing. He saw Mario and Luigi facing impending doom in the form of five mutated Spikies and one mutated Lakitu. Even though they were in danger, Link couldn't help but smile. What better way to show the brothers he's still alive then by saving them?_

_With some more flowing hand movements (not because it was necessary, but because it looked cool), Link enlarged the hole. It was now body length. He could step through it if he wanted._

_And step through, he did. The first thing he heard:_

_"I believe your plot-hole is somewhere over there." Lukati pointed out._

_"Damnit..." The brothers sighed simultaneously._

"You could form plot-holes?" Luigi gasped.

"Yep. In the Darkness of Time, plot-holes are like wormholes that bring you from place to place. There are also special ones that mess with reality." Link said. "I'ma just end it there. You know what happens next."

"So... After you died and came back to life, you suddenly had all these new abilities. And before you died, you said that darkness stuff was closing in on you, right?" Mario summarized.

"Yep." Link replied.

"I think the darkness entered your body through your wound and gave you all of Dark Link's powers." Mario guessed.

"That's what I was guessin'. And it's been good to me." Link said. "I lost a lot of those powers when I left the Darkness, but I'm still a lot better off than I was before. I'm faster, stronger, and greater than ever before. And here's my favorite feature..."

Link held his arms out and slowly spun around 360 degrees to show absolutely nothing was on him, not even his sword and shield. He kept his arms out and closed his eyes. Suddenly, in his left hand, a sword appeared. This sword definitely wasn't his faithful Master Sword. The first major difference was the blade. While the Master Sword sported a gleaming silver blade, this sword featured a powerful, obsidian-colored blade. The blade itself was derived from the Darkness of Time, meaning it was made from the infinite blackness itself. In his right hand, there was a shield. This shield was shaped like a sharp pentagon, with a moderately thick, black outline. The front of the shield featured a gleaming, silver face. On the face, there was a design that looked like a clock with no hour or minute hand drawn in black. In the center of it all, there was a strange slit.

"I can make my sword and shield disappear and reappear whenever I want!" Link exclaimed. "I never have to carry this heavy crap on my back ever again! What makes it even greater is that my new sword and shield are much stronger than my old ones! Even the Biggoron's sword can't stand up to the Sword of Darkness."

"Sword of Darkness?" Mario repeated.

"Well, it came from the Darkness of Time... It feels like it was made from the Darkness itself... I dunno." Link shrugged. "What name would you give it?"

"Maybe something less foreboding..." Mario said.

"What's that weird slit on your shield?" Luigi wondered.

"It's an eye that sees danger. It only opens when I'm in severe danger, though." Link explained. "And when it opens, I get even more powers! I'm just an unstoppable force, man."

"We'll see the extent of your powers when we face off against Ganondorf and Bowser." Mario said.

With that, they continued their trek to the battleground: Ganondorf's Castle. While Link was telling his story, they continued walking toward their destination. After it was done, they found themselves right at the entrance to the former Hyrule Castle Town, now dubbed ReDead Town. This was the last town before Ganondorf's Castle.

"Look at this place..." Luigi sighed as he glanced around into the area.

The place was left in ruins. There was nothing but decimated buildings, a hopelessly gray sky, and a howling wind. Just then, it began to rain. Along with the sound of the wind, it seemed as if nature was crying for this once prosperous town.

"This is only the beginnin'..." Link muttered. "Last time Ganondorf was in power, this place was the first to feel his wrath. Later on, Kakariko Village was next. It was set on fire! The whole village nearly burnt down. If it wasn't for the heavy rain a little after the fire started..." Link trailed off, shaking his head and sighing. "Everyone thinks it was all the work of the fiend from the Shadow Temple, but I know Ganondorf had a hand in there... A big-ass hand..."

"We have to kick him off his throne before he does a repeat performance." Luigi stated.

"Just a word of caution..." Link started. "Even though the town got murked hard, it's still inhabited. By ReDeads..."

"Those zombie-things that came from the crates sometimes in the Smash tournaments?" Luigi wondered.

"Exactly." Link verified. "And you thought they were annoyin' then... Here in Hyrule, if they look at you, you _will_ freeze with fear and there's nothin' you can do about it. Just try as hard as you can to snap out of it before they close in on you. I'm damn-sure you won't like what happens if they do."

They took their first steps into the town. Expecting a blockade of ReDeads as soon as they walked in, they ran in on the offensive: the Mario brothers with their hands ablaze, and Link with his sword and shield out. They saw plenty of ReDeads, but to their surprise, all of them stayed curled up in a ball, sitting with their heads on their knees.

"What do you make of this?" Mario said to Link.

"They're playin' dead." Link said.

Mario and Luigi slowly turned to Link with a look of disappointment. Link turned back to them and smiled.

"Sorry... But seriously, they might be plannin' to ambush us when we least expect it." Link speculated. "I'ma take the initiative."

Link carefully closed in on one of the ReDeads. As he got closer, the moans of the undead could be heard. But what it sounded like was hard to make out. If one were to make a guess, one could say it was the sound of undead fear...

Link was a few steps away from it now. He took one step forward. A terrifying scream shattered the relative silence, seemingly coming from all directions. The brothers spun around, checking for anything threatening. Link's sword began to glow as he readied a Spin Attack of any offenders. A few seconds went by...

"You guys alright?" Link called out.

"We're cool." Mario answered. "What was that?"

"That's the scream you hear before you're frozen with fear. But none of us got frozen, right?" Link wondered.

"We're all fine." Luigi said.

Link turned back to the ReDead he'd been walking up to. He took another slow step toward it. Another scream ripped through the air. The brothers jumped back into defensive position. Link just stood there, not threatened, with his sword and shield down.

He took one more step toward it. One more scream impaled the eardrums. The brothers turned their attention towards Link. Link was standing within his sword's length to the ReDead now. He poked its shoulder once. The ReDead uttered a short shriek.

Link stepped one last step toward the ReDead. A long, horrifying, pain-driven scream rang aloud. The type of scream that had the potential to bend reality, but didn't because it didn't want to abuse its power. The brothers turned to each other, then looked toward Link once again. Link looked back at them with a look of satisfaction. It seemed like the ReDead was afraid of him!

"If this ain't irony, then I dunno what is." Link said as his sword and shield faded away.

"I guess we don't have to worry about ReDeads anymore." Luigi announced.

"Nothing's standing in our way now." Mario said, facing toward the looming stronghold before them.

He led the way as the trio took their first steps onto the castle grounds.

"Damn... You know the last time I was here was not too long before Mario found me at Lake Hylia?" Link realized as the three stood and stared at the castle. They couldn't help but stand back and admire Ganondorf's fortress.

"Alright, here's our first trial: how do we get in?" Mario wondered.

Just as Link was about to speak, he noticed the castle was floating on its own plot of land, high above a boiling pool of lava. There was no bridge connecting the castle to the mainland, and the gap between them was sizable. Not even the Mario brothers could jump that distance.

"Oh, now he decides to get smart..." Link muttered, aggravated. "Last time I was here, the castle was still connected to the rest of the land. I just ran in!"

"It's not so simple now, is it?!" A different voice shouted from above them.

The group quickly looked up to the familiar voice. On a scaffold nearly at the top of the castle, there stood a tall, large-framed being. All three of them knew him pretty well. The brothers were _especially_ acquainted with him. It was none other than the leader of the Koopa Troop and self-proclaimed Master of Disaster: King Bowser "B-Boss" Koopa.

"Where've you guys been? Me and Ganondorf were starting to think you wouldn't show." Bowser called down.

"That's what happens when you doubt us. We prove you wrong and leave you in tears." Mario shouted back.

"You know what, Mario, I really hope that happens." Bowser admitted. "Me and Ganondorf were just coming to terms with how badly we're gonna lose, but since you're so confident that you'll prove us wrong, I guess we'll be winning by a landslide and crying evil tears of joy, huh? You just made my day."

"I'm glad you haven't changed, Your Diabolicalness." Mario "pledged" his allegiance by taking a knee and bowing his head.

"You better get used to that, my pudgy pal. Peach is starting to warm up to me. It's only a matter of time before me and her rule over the Mushroom Kingdom as King and Queen." Bowser sneered. "Save yourself the trouble and just let destiny take over. Think about it. With Peach's Toad Brigade and my Koopa Troopas to take out that useless crew of crap so that the Koopa Troop has sole military control, we'll usher in a new golden age!"

"I'm way ahead of you, Bowser. Not only have I thought about it; I've gotten sick to my stomach every time I did." Mario replied. "I promise you I'll never let it happen."

"And I promise you that you'll LOSE. You could team up with every loser from the Smash tournament and it still won't be enough to stop me and Ganondorf." Bowser promised. "Sorry you guys wasted all that time and energy trying to get here, but that's just the way it is. I'll tell you what you can do, though: you can try and fail _miserably_, on a magnitude you can't even comprehend, or you can take off all your clothes and proceed in doing _The Forbidden Dance_ with each other."

Mario, Link, and Luigi could only look at each other with incredulous stares.

"Why the hell would we _ever _even think about that?" Link broke his silence._  
_  
"Because, either way, you're all fucked." Bowser stated plainly.

No words were shared after that exchange. All Luigi, Mario, and Link did was glare menacingly up at a sneering Bowser, who's taunting smirk grew wider with their anger. The only thing left for Bowser to do was close their meeting with a lingering cackle; one that would be heard long after he had left.

"I'm usually happy with just embarrassing Bowser and leaving him to think about what happened, but this time, I don't think that'll be enough." Mario said. "I'm going to kill him. And I don't mean that as a joke. I'm _really_ going to beat him until he stops breathing and his heart stops beating. And I'm going to laugh about it when I'm done. I'm going to laugh hysterically. This time, I'll _truly_ be happy."

"Mario..." Luigi wanted to say something to derail Mario's train of thought, but his words hit pretty hard. It wasn't like Mario to think so viciously...

"Yeah, so... umm... Any ideas on how to cross this damn gap?" Link asked, looking to Mario.

He seemed to be lost in a daze...

"I... I... might be able to cross it." Luigi offered. "The Green Missile, remember? I can charge it to the max and probably reach the edge."

"That's just crazy, man..." Link muttered, shaking his head. "That's so crazy; it's crazy enough to work!" He suddenly shouted, raising a fist of encouragement in the air. "Get to chargin', man!"

"Wait a second!" Mario shouted, snapping out of it and grabbing Luigi by the shoulder.

"Mario, trust me! You know I can make it." Luigi assured Mario.

"I have no doubt in my mind you can make it. But before you go, you might want to check this out." Mario suggested.

He then proceeded to pick up a random rock on the ground and chucked it across the gap at one of the outer walls. The rock made it a little beyond halfway when it suddenly hit some type of barrier, plummeting into the boiling pool below.

"What'd you plan on doing when you hit that invisible wall?" Mario rhetorically asked.

"Oh... I thought it was obvious. I'd pretend I was burning to death while drowning in the lava, then I'd use the secret entrance underneath while I had you all fooled." Luigi said, playing off his missed observation. "How'd you know there was a barrier there?"

"You guys may've thought I was in a murderous daze, and I sort of was... but at the same time, I was trying to find a way into the castle. I thought about your Green Missile, but when the wind kicked up a lot of dust and blew it toward the castle, I figured it was time for another plan when it stopped before it even went halfway." Mario explained.

"Godamnit... G-dorf took _all_ the precautions this time." Link disappointedly sighed.

The crew looked back to the castle, hoping a new possibility would just open up. Link looked to the top of the castle, but suddenly gasped. The brothers quickly looked to the scaffold where Bowser was standing before. This time around, Bowser wasn't there. In his stead, a tall, dark, sinister-looking man stood there, staring down upon them with a vindictive grin. His cape flapped furiously in the fierce, blowing wind.

"I was wonderin' when y'all would look up here again." The caped man said.

"Ganondorf..." Mario and Luigi uttered, simultaneously.

Link simply stared up to Ganondorf, getting over his initial shock and wearing an expressionless visage. The last time he saw Ganondorf was in the Brinstar Depths, and the last time he really spoke with him before the phone call was when he was last in Hyrule. Even though Link had plenty to say, he kept his thoughts to himself, opting to let Ganondorf do the talking this time.

"So whaddup, Link? It's been a while." Ganondorf coolly asked, breaking the silence just as Link hoped.

"I know, right? Still, nothin' much. Chillin' as usual. We just got here last night." Link casually replied.

"Oh word? No doubt." Ganondorf said.

"Why are they talking like they're friends?" Luigi asked, aside.

Mario simply shrugged as they listened to their conversation.

"Yo, G-dorf, I just gotta ask one question." Link started, unable to keep up his facade of nonchalance. "What's the deal with you kidnappin' Zelda? We were all cool, chillin' as friends everyday... People were actually startin' to respect truly instead of out of fear... Why the hell would you give that up?"

"On some realness, Link, I dunno." Ganondorf admitted. "I guess it's a callin'. You can try to ignore innate nature, but eventually, it comes back to remind you of what you really are." He explained.

"Seriously, Ganondorf." Link couldn't accept that.

"I'm serious, man. Jus' pretend you turned to the dark side for a second. You'd be doin' the same shit I do, but deep down, you wouldn't be able to keep it up. Your conscience would bite you in the ass, tellin' you to cut the bullshit and go back to doin' you. That's what happened to me. Bein' good was cool for a minute, but I couldn't keep up the charade forever. Feel me, Link?"

Link let out a heavy sigh through his nose. "Alright, fine. You're naturally evil. But completely switching sides with no type of warnin'?" Link asked. "One minute, we're cool, the next minute, you knock my ass outta Hyrule Castle and I come back to find out you're doin' the typical grime again. Ganondorf, man, come on! You shoulda given me a heads-up or somethin' 'cause that shit really hurt me, man. I thought we were friends."

"Like I said, son: it's part of who I am." Ganondorf restated. "I have no problem with deadin' anyone at any time. When I don't need you no more, I _will _discard you.

Link just nodded.

"And jus' know that if you find your way up here, I _will_ wreck your shit relentlessly. No mercy, kid. Peeps _will_ get hurt. Peeps might even die. That's jus' the way it is." Ganondorf warned.

"If that's the way it is, then that's how it's gonna be." Link replied. "Let's finish this now and forever. Lower the bridge, Ganondorf. I'm ready."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa... Ease out, kid. I didn't set up all this security for nothin', son." Ganondorf said. "You gotta find your way up here first. You gotta earn the _privilege_ to get murked by me."

"Privilege? You used to bust my ass for no reason!" Link shouted.

"Change in policy, meng. If you can find a way to get by my defenses, then I promise you an ass-beatin' for the ages. It's only right, right? You're trespassin', so I should knock yo' ass senseless." Ganondorf said. "Besides, I know you have no Light arrows. Without those, you're not even a _potential_ threat to me. Even with your new little muscles and whatever other new shit you have in your arsenal, I can still piss on you and leave nothin' but a smoking crater."

"Shit..." Link sighed under his breath.

He had been so impressed and overconfident with his new powers, he forgot the only way he could truly defeat Ganondorf was with Light arrows.

"You know I love bringin' little gung-ho mofos like you back down to earth, but I got some other shit to take care of. I'll check you later, Link." Ganondorf said and walked off.

"I completely forgot I need Light arrows... I don't even have a bow! All that got taken away in the 29th century!" Link exclaimed.

"Calm down." Luigi said. "You found a bow and arrow in Hyrule, right? There should be another one you can find around here somewhere."

"Just think of where you can find the Light arrows. Where you find arrows, you can probably find a bow." Mario said.

"That's true..." Link agreed. "Zelda gave me the Light arrows the first time I got 'em. But as you know, she can't do it this time around. I'ma have to ask one of the Sages..."

"How many of them are there?" Luigi asked.

"Six excludin' Zelda, the Sage of Time..." Link started. "The Sage of the Light, Rauru, the Sage of Forest, Saria, the Sage of Fire, Darunia, the Sage of Water, Ruto, the Sage of Shadow, Impa, and the Sage of Spirit, Nabooru.

"Alright. So just pick one. Shouldn't be hard." Mario said.

"Not at all. I already ruled out a few of 'em." Link said. "Saria and Ruto have this thing for me. The problem with Saria is that she's a kid! I don't get down like that. Ruto isn't even human, she's a Zora. I stay within my species."

"Why don't you just ask the Sage of Light? It only makes sense." Mario pointed out.

"That'd be the most obvious choice. The thing is I can never find that mofo! I've never been to the Light temple and I don't even know where to start."

"Okay, how about the others?" Luigi wondered.

"Darunia is gonna try to give me some brotherly advice or something. Plus he plays around too much. I don't wanna deal with that. Impa would seem like the best choice since she's close to Zelda and probably knows exactly where to go, but I gotta run through the Shadow Temple to actually reach her. And trust me; you _don't_ want to go through the Shadow Temple, especially without Lens of Truth. It'll be impossible to navigate."

"So that means there's only one Sage left." Mario pointed out.

"Nabooru. What I love about going to her is that I don't have any problems with either her or the Spirit Temple, the temple she watches over." Link said. "Plus, there's a whole lotta girls on the way. Like... a _whole lot of girls_." He emphasized as a mischievous smile appeared on his face.

"I'd normally be mad that we're being sidetracked from our main goal _again_, and it's _right in front of us_ this time, but the promise of seeing _a whole lot of girls _makes everything better somehow." Luigi said.

"Trust me, Luigi, you'll love it. Almost every girl you see over there will make you wish you could do somethin' with them. And I'm not talkin' about goin' for a walk." Link didn't even try to hide his intent. "...or maybe I am. If it's on the wild side."

"Oh yeah." Luigi found himself with a mischievous grin on his face, too.

Mario just stared at his two partners. They returned his glance with that smile, expecting Mario to join them.

"Grow up, you two." Mario stated, crushing their anticipation. "You have a girlfriend, Link. And Luigi, you probably wouldn't even know what to do with a girl."

"Of course I would!" Luigi countered. "All I have to do is tell them how nice they look, right? I'll go the extra mile and throw in how nice they _smell_, too." He said. "In fact, I'll let them know just how delightful they are to _all five _of my senses."

While Mario just raised an eyebrow, Link let out a laugh.

"I know the other senses are pretty easy to talk about, but how exactly are you gonna find out how good they taste? And... where--"

"I haven't thought that far." Luigi admitted. "But I'm good at thinking on my feet. It'll come to me like..."

"A slap to the face, because that's what'll happen." Mario forecasted.

"You'd like to see that, huh? Lead the way so I can prove Mr. Doubtful wrong, Link." Luigi requested.

"I'll be back, Ganondorf..." Link quietly muttered, taking one last look at the fortress before he led the way back to Hyrule Field.

Unknown to the trio was that Ganondorf was watching them on his surveillance screen. With his arms crossed, he nodded as he heeded Link's words.

"No doubt, Link. I'm countin' on it."


	24. Only the Beginning: Part 2

**Act 10****: **_**Only the Beginning**_ (Part 2)

The three stood in triangle formation. Two of them stared at the oddity of the group. The oddity stared back, expressionless, almost like it was ready for anything... like it was daring them to do something.

"So what's the plan now? We've been staring at it for almost ten minutes now." Said one.

"Relax, man. I'm jus' gettin' ready." Said the other.

The stand-off continued.

One sighed of boredom: Bowser. He was practically praying something would happen before he'd have to take matters into his own hands.

One stood determined: Ganondorf. He was going to do what he had to do even if it killed him.

One stood expressionless, still: Ganondorf's cell phone. It had the will-power of an inanimate object; not phased by anything, regardless of how threatening.

"Alright Ganondorf, that's it. If you're not gonna make the call, I'll do it." Bowser said, impatiently grabbing for the phone.

"Chill a minute, B-Boss." Ganondorf said. "I'm goin' though the convo in my head. I gotta be ready, son. DK's gonna chew me out for takin' so long to call."

"But it's not your fault. They said they got into a whole lotta crap trying to get here. What could we do about it?" Bowser rhetorically asked.

"True..." Ganondorf agreed. "Aight, gimme the phone. If he starts talkin' shit, I'll shut him down hard."

Bowser grabbed the cell phone and flipped it opened, passing it to Ganondorf, who proceeded to dial Donkey Kong's number and waited on the ring tone.

A busy signal...

"What the hell? His phone's busy." Ganondorf said with a raised, agitated eyebrow.

"I know he's been waiting on our call for a long time. Whoever he's talking to better be important." Bowser guessed.

_Meanwhile with DK..._

"I'm calling _you_ to tell _you_ how _you_ can increase the size of _your_ bananas! Jealous of _your_ neighbor's bunch and how _he_ gets all the attention from _your_ female friend? Well if _you_ apply for this **LIMITED TIME OFFER**, she'll be _**BEGGING**_ for a taste of _your_ banana cream sundae." An overly enthusiastic salesman pitched.

"Ex... excuse me?" DK murmured, confused and cleaning out his ear to make sure he heard correctly.

_Back to B-Boss and G-Dorf..._

"I dunno who could be more important than us, but aight." Ganondorf agreed.

"Just call back in five minutes. He knows we're gonna reach him eventually, so he knows to keep the conversations short." Bowser assured.

They stood around for another five minutes, not saying anything to each other. The only sound heard was Ganondorf's occasional mutterings to himself. He was still going over the conversation in his head. Bowser could only stand back and marvel at how on-edge Ganondorf seemed. This was completely unlike the Ganondorf he knew.

"What the hell is your problem?" Bowser asked, almost sounding disgusted.

"The hell you talkin' 'bout?" Ganondorf shot back, confused.

"You're obsessing over a conversation you didn't even have yet! Not only that; you're acting like you're dealing with someone dangerous! This is Donkey Kong we're dealing with! Lumbering, bumbling DK! You know; the guy with the incredibly retarded theme song? '_His coconut gun can fire in spurts! If he shoots ya, it's gonna hurt!_'" Bowser sang, horribly off-key. "Wrong! What's gonna hurt is my claw in his spine!"

"Yo B-Boss, calm the hell down..." Ganondorf calmly commanded, holding his hand out and making a motion that also suggested calming down. "I know it's only DK. You really wanna know what my deal is? Fuckin' Link, man! Did you sense the power? My man is serious now! Last time I saw him... Nah, eff that... Last time I spoke to him on the phone, I could tell he wasn't packin' that much heat. I could crush him wit' my thumb. Now, not even a week later, we're neck-in-neck in power. And I have the fuckin' Triforce of Power! How the hell can he get so damn strong in such a short time?! I keep talkin' to myself to keep my mind off it."

"You... you're scared?" Bowser stammered in disbelief. He thought Ganondorf knew no fear. He thought wrong.

"Yo, man... On the real, we'll need more than jus' DK to hold him down. I don't even know if _I_ can hold him down, even in my transformation." Ganondorf feared. "It's gonna be down to the wire... And for some fuckin' reason, Good _always_ wins when it gets that close."

"Not possible, man. He doesn't have the Light arrows. He can't touch you." Bowser remembered, trying to reassure himself and Ganondorf that they'd come out on top.

"That's true. He was ready to take me on without 'em, but I reminded him about it. He went to look for some." Ganondorf recalled.

"Damnit! Why didn't you just take him out right there?!" Bowser shouted.

"'Cause that's not part of my plan." Ganondorf countered, springing a sudden smirk on his face. "I know Link like I know Zelda's g-spots. He's goin' to the Spirit Temple to chat wit' Nabooru, who can definitely get him some Light arrows."

"So this 'Nabooru' character is gonna cut him off for us?" Bowser speculated.

"Nah, not even. She the Spirit Sage. She'd die before she'd help me." Ganondorf said without a doubt. "I was thinkin' some other shit. Every temple has its purpose. Lemme tell you what goes down at the Spirit Temple." He started. "Peeps die. And when they die, their spirit, or soul, is left behind. The soul heads up to the Spirit Temple to make the final move to the afterlife. Every single spirit in Hyrule heads there to make the trip. Before Link got back, I caught this dude goin' on and on about how he needs souls to cop 'the ultimate power'. I had no damn clue what the hell he was talkin' 'bout, but you know how I am about spreadin' mayhem. So I told him how to get to the Spirit Temple. He could grab up all the spirits he wants there. And I know Nabooru definitely won't be able to handle the shit on her own, so when Link comes around, she's gonna ask him for help. Link will no doubt accept because he needs them arrows, plus he's a sucker for cute tits." Ganondorf added.

"Aren't we all?" Bowser chuckled as well. "So I'm guessing this guy will be powerful as hell by the time Link reaches him. Either Link gets killed in a battle, or he'll win by such a small margin that you'll be able to capitalize easily when he reaches you."

"You mean _if_ he reaches me. Since I'm anticipatin' Link bein' hot garbage by the time he gets back, DK shouldn't have a problem finishin' the job." Ganondorf corrected. "And if he somehow manages to get by DK in his weakened, piss-poor state, by the time he gets to me, he's gonna be one pitiful piece of shit. It won't matter if he has the arrows or not."

"That's good planning, my man." Bowser complimented.

"Yo man, the Triforce of Power doesn't jus' make your muscles stronger." Ganondorf stated while tapping his noggin.

"Alright, I'm sure it's been over five minutes." Bowser pointed out. "Check back with Donkey Kong."

Ganondorf picked up his cell phone once again and dialed DK's number. Success! There was a ring tone this time. After four rings, someone finally picked up. The first sound Ganondorf heard was not a greeting, though. It sounded like a struggle.

"Give me the phone, Diddy!" DK shouted, his voice sounding strained.

"But I have the phone already! Let me answer!" Diddy screamed back, sounding like he was fending off DK from the phone.

A series of shouts and grunts rang through the receiver before there was one final slam and one final shriek of pain. Finally, there was an answer to the phone call.

"So help me, God, if this isn't Ganondorf..." DK angrily growled, huffing and puffing tiredly.

"Yeah, it's me." Ganondorf replied.

"Do you have any idea how long it's been since you last called?" DK asked, annoyed. "I'm trying to devise the perfect plan and you abandon me for over a month! You better provide me with a good explanation on why I should still be inclined to help you."

"Because I'll beat yo' ass to death if you don't!" Ganondorf threatened.

"Terrible explanation." DK simply stated. "Even though I really shouldn't have even wasted my time, a chance to confront Mario is too important to ignore. Besides, I put a lot of my time and energy into constructing the ideal plan to deal with him and his companions. At this point, it would be stupid to give it all up."

"Especially since they're in Hyrule as we speak." Ganondorf added. "It's time for you to put in work, DK. How fast can you get here?"

"I'm not sure... Kongo Jungle isn't exactly a vine-swing away from Hyrule." DK realized. "I'm going to need some incredible and unconventional means of travel if you want me to make it there in time."

"Easy. I got this machine that'll take me anywhere. I'ma open a portal in your place. All you gotta do is walk through." Ganondorf said.

"Excellent. That will make transporting the things I need very easy." Donkey Kong said.

"No doubt." Ganondorf agreed. "So I'll check you in a bit."

"That, you will." DK stated and hung up.

"So the deed is done?" Bowser asked, seeing Ganondorf hang up the phone.

"Like dinner. We headin' to the secret room on the roof. DK is comin' through there." Ganondorf said. "Hopefully, this shit goes our way."

"Hopefully..." Bowser said, following Ganondorf to the roof.

* * *

"SHORTS! I'm gonna wear 'em forever! Even if the weather is mild!" Link sang high-pitched and off-key.

"I hate that song." Mario muttered. "You're not even wearing shorts..."

"It must feel really good to be home again, huh?" Luigi guessed.

"You have no idea, Luigi." Link said with a smile. "Every time I walk through Hyrule Field, there's a song in my heart. Most of the time, it sounds like the overworld theme, but when I'm feelin' especially great, I get variety."

"You think you can sing a song we'll all like next time?" Mario requested.

"I don't usually take requests. I might make an exception for you, though." Link mentioned, stroking his chin as if he was thinking about it.

"So how much longer until we get to the Spirit Temple?" Luigi inquired.

"We still got a ways to go." Link said. "First, we gotta head through Gerudo Valley and get the girls to open the gate to the Haunted Wasteland."

"Whoa, Link... I was enthusiastic about meeting the girls, but a Haunted Wasteland? Is it too late to back out? I don't do too well with ghosts..." Luigi admitted.

"You might as well explain the girls, too, Link." Mario said. "I don't get why they're on the way to this Haunted Wasteland. Especially if they're as pretty as you're making them sound. It doesn't make too much sense..."

"Women run Gerudo Valley, which is where we have to pass through to get to the Haunted Wasteland. They aren't too fond of guys ever since Ganondorf, the first male-Gerudo in a hundred years, proved to be an evil son-bitch, but we don't have to worry about that. I kinda put their faith back in men, so we should be straight." Link explained. "Now, the Haunted Wasteland... It's an endless desert that guards the path to the Spirit Temple. Out of all the temples here in Hyrule, this is the most important one after the Light Temple, so of course, gettin' there is gonna be a bitch. This temple controls the flow of spirits to the afterlife a.k.a. it controls life and death here. We have to pass a series of tests if we wanna get through the Wasteland in one piece."

"Well, you made it through before. It shouldn't be a problem, right?" Luigi said.

"You see..." Link started, a hint of uncertainty accompanied his words. "Normally, I'd be like 'please, the only problem we'd have is gettin' all the sand out our shoes'. But one trial involves the all-too-important Lens of Truth. The Lens lets you see things invisible to the naked eye. I used to have it, but you know what happened to me in Mute City. So you know what that means..."

"We have to overcome the impossible, _yet again_." Mario sighed.

"And we still have to worry about gettin' the sand out our shoes." Link added, in an attempt to lighten things up.

"It just amazes me how nothing is ever easy with us." Luigi sighed. "I mean, all we have to do was ask someone a question! Just one question! And it turns into an epic quest where we have to overcome the impossible! I don't get it! It's hard to stay optimistic when crap like this happens all the time."

"It might not be as impossible as you think. Even though Nabooru's a sage, she still leads the Gerudos like the head of the family. We might be able to find her at the fortress. But even if we don't, jus' remember: no matter how impossible shit may seem, we always pull through. Always." Link pointed out, trying to cheer the doubtful brothers up.

"I feel like a lot of that was luck, though. How long will it be until our luck runs out?" Mario wondered.

"Trust me, man. It wasn't luck. I think someone loves us up there." Link said, looking up to the sky. "Under the eyes of my three gods, and whatever god y'all worship, we'll get through this 100." He said with a confident nod.

The brothers looked at Link, then looked at each other, considering what he just said. They both nodded.

"It's hard to argue with confidence like that." Luigi admitted with a smile. "Alright, Link. We'll follow your lead. Let's just hope you're right."

"I _know_ I'm right!" Link boasted. "We've come way too far to screw it all up now. Besides, I'm the Hero of Time!" Suddenly, the familiar fanfare from the beginning of _A Link to the Past_ blared through the the relative silence of the field. A huge smile consumed Link's face. "God DAMNIT I missed that!"

"In a weird way, so did I." Mario admitted with a meek smile. "Well, we gotta get moving again."

Once again, the trio started again on their walk to Gerudo Valley. The closer they got the Gerudo Valley, the more notable the changes in the environment were. The green, gentle plains of Hyrule Field gradually became more rugged and rocky, taking on a raw, red tint as well. The air also became much more arid as the heat made its presence uncomfortably felt.

As they walked, the brothers marveled at the natural beauty Hyrule had to offer: the majestic mountains, the dusty, beaten trail, the wispy look of the clouds in the light-blue, desert sky. Sure, they had seen stuff like this back at home, but most of it seemed so artificial, like it was tailor-made to look like that; all the natural aspects they could think of: trees, clouds, etc, had a face! They appreciated Hyrule's much more natural and realistic look.

Link didn't share the brothers' enthusiasm, though. At the time, he looked preoccupied and worried. Mario noticed this and figured something was definitely wrong. Link had just instilled some lost confidence in the crew, but his troubled expressions had Mario feeling pessimistic once again.

"You alright, Link?" Mario asked, nudging his shoulder. "Seems like there's something up with you."

Link hesitated to answer. Something was definitely up, but he didn't want his team's spirit to waver. But he also knew they were going to find out what had him so worried one way or another, so he decided to talk.

"Remember what I said about there always being a song in my heart? I wasn't kiddin'. Every area in Hyrule has its own little theme song playin'." Link explained. "Y'all shouldn't be surprised, though. I know different areas in Mushroom Kingdom have different songs, too."

Mario and Luigi nodded in agreement.

"So like y'all probably guessed, Gerudo Valley has its own song, too. Right now, I should be hummin' the tune to myself, but I don't hear anythin'..." Link said. "What pisses me off the most is that the song is unbelievably hot! Whatever's goin' on over there must be serious."

"And the plot thickens..." Luigi muttered, shaking his head.

Finally entering Gerudo grounds, the three continued on their way to the Gerudo Fortress. As they neared the stronghold, they immediately noticed billowing smoke streaming into the sky, accompanied by the strong scent of fire.

Link halted in his steps, simply not believing what he was seeing. He knew the Gerudo race was very protective of their lands and wouldn't allow any intruders to damage their property this severely. Whoever did this must've been incredibly strong...

Without saying anything, Link took off toward the Gerudo Fortress entrance. The brothers sped off as well, trying to catch up to Link, who already had an impressive lead on them.

They finally arrived in front of the Gerudo Fortress. Immediately, they saw the Gerudo Training Grounds on fire and frantic Gerudo women trying to control the raging flames. Other women were tending to those that that were put out of commission. A frantic battle must've just taken place, the trio though silently.

"Yo, let's help them move the wounded into the fortress." Link suggested.

With a nod, the three spotted a group of unconscious soldiers and tenderly cradled them in their arms to bring them into the Fortress. Link moved a little faster than the brothers did, and arrived in the fortress's infirmary. There, even more of the wounded were being taken care of. Even though there were many injured, it didn't seem like there were any casualties. In fact, a few of the Gerudo were laughing about something, so it seemed like everyone was still in high spirits despite what happened.

"Sweet Farore! Link!" A young, almost melodious voice sang out from behind him.

He spun around quickly, recognizing the sweet voice. He smiled to see a familiar face. Besides Ganondorf, this was the first Hyrule native he spoke to since his return.

"Oh snap, Raznia!" Link exclaimed as he greeted her smiling face.

"It's been such a long time! Look at you! What are you doing here?" Raznia excitedly asked, her eye wide with happiness.

"I was in the neighborhood and decided to say 'yo' to my Gerudo lovelies." Link stated.

"Hehe... Well aren't you gonna hug me?" Raznia innocently asked.

"You know I would, but..." Link trailed off, quickly glancing down to the unconscious Gerudo guard in his arms.

"Oh! I can't believe I missed that!" She exclaimed, embarrassed. "You can put her over there. C'mon."

Raznia led the way to an empty bed, where she directed Link to lay her down. Afterward, she commanded a nurse to make sure she wakes up soon.

"There. She should be fine. Now where's my hug?" Raznia smiled, holding her arms out.

"Nayru, you're pushy..." Link muttered with a smile and went on to embrace his old friend.

Raznia was a nineteen-year old Gerudo who was highly proficient in combat. She was so good; she was one of the top warriors of the Gerudo race. No one would be able to tell by her appearance, though. She was of average height, for a girl, standing in at 5'8", and had a slender frame. Her shapely body would suggest she was a dancer. The most ironic part was that she _was_, incorporating dancing into her fighting style. Armed with a butterfly dagger and a curved saber, she was one of the most deadly women in Hyrule. She was also one of the most beautiful, with rich, brown skin, ravishing black hair tied into a ponytail just reaching the middle of her back, bright, light-brown eyes, voluptuous lips, and perfectly-sized and curvy chest and hips to match her lovely physique. Her black hair made her especially noticeable, as the Gerudo tribe all had either red or orange hair.

"Damn, it musta been a long-ass time since we last saw each other. I don't remember you lookin' or feelin' so good." Link admitted, running his hands up and down Raznia's back.

"Link!" She laughed, playfully pushing off of him. "I can say the same thing about you! You feel so chiseled and defined now. You been working out?"

"If you consider fightin' for your life a workout, I been doin' that forever." Link said.

"I'm loving the black tunic, too." Raznia complimented. "Where's your sword and shield?"

He winked at her, held out his arms, and closed his eyes. As soon as his arms were extended, two black spheres of energy formed in his hands. Eventually, they took the form of his new sword and shield in his left and right hands, respectively. Raznia's eyes were wide with silent awe.

"That was so cool, it kinda makes me hot." She joked, fanning herself.

"I know. All the girls say that when I unsheathe my sword." Link gloated, "putting away" his sword and shield. Just then, he took a glance at the Gerudo he carried into the fortress, which reminded him that this wasn't the time to play around. "Yo, we came through as soon as we saw the smoke risin' in the distance. What went down?"

"'We'?" Raznia repeated, confused by the word.

Link was about to point out his entourage, but suddenly realized they were nowhere to be found. "Oh damn... I completely forgot about them. I musta dusted them by accident. Where are..."

"STOP RIGHT THERE!!" A pair of tough, feminine voices shouted out in unison.

"Right on cue... C'mon." Link said as he ran toward the infirmary exit with Raznia following closely behind.

_Meanwhile with the brothers..._

After losing Link, they had gotten lost in the huge fortress. Eventually, two Gerudo guards surrounded them in a narrow hallway, holding ribboned spears almost to their face.

"What do you think you're doing with them?" A harsh voice demanded, noticing the unconscious Gerudo women in their arms.

"We saw you needed help, so we're helping out! I didn't know that'd a problem..." Mario answered, annoyed that he and his bro were being treated as if they were doing something wrong.

One of the guards decided to clock Mario in the head with the blunt end of her weapon after his comment.

"Keep that tongue in line, or you'll lose it." One of the guards threatened.

Mario was about to respond, but Link and Raznia suddenly rounded the corner and met up with them.

"Yo, what the hell did you guys do?!" Link gasped when he saw his companions' predicament.

"We tried to help." Luigi sighed.

"Girls, calm down a little." Raznia suggested.

"How can we be calm at a time like this? You saw what happened, Raz: we were attacked without warning! By one person, nonetheless! I could tell he wasn't from Hyrule at all. And with that kind of power, I seriously doubt he's even from this planet! Now we catch two more people that we've never seen before in our fortress carrying our unconscious soldiers. What did you expect us to do?!"

"But compare these two to Midnight-Armor--" Raznia started.

"Midnight-Armor?" The guard interrupted.

"Until I know his name, that's what I'm gonna call him. Anyway, he had dark-blue, midnight armor from head to toe, a mutated arm, and fiery orange ponytail. These two look like cartoons that came to life. I don't think they came here for trouble." Raznia deducted.

Mario and Luigi looked at each other, not knowing whether to be thankful that she seemed to be on their side, or insulted because they were just compared to cartoons.

"Besides, Link knows them." She said, glancing to Link.

The two guards, still with their weapons drawn, did a double-take when they looked in his direction.

"Oh..." They muttered and relaxed their stances to a non-threatening level.

"I didn't recognize him with the black tunic..." One of the guards said, almost inaudibly.

"...sorry for the misunderstanding..." The other guard apologized, sounding as if she forced herself to say it.

"...no problem." Mario accepted, although he sounded like he forced himself to accept.

"Now kiss and make up!" Raznia suggested, nodding her head with a smile.

"Grow up, Raz..." One of the guards sighed, disgusted and sucking her teeth.

She giggled a little. "Just go help out the others. Make sure all the wounded are in the infirmary before noon." Raz commanded.

The guards nodded and headed outside.

"You handled them pretty well..." Link said, sounding impressed. "How far up the authority ladder are you?"

"Like... This high." Raznia stretched her hand up above her head. "I'm actually up there with Nabooru. The only reason she's higher than me is 'cause she's the Spirit sage. Lucky..."

"Is that hostility I'm sensin'? I thought y'all were mad cool." Link said, concerned.

"Don't worry, we still are. Nabi's my sister, so I can never hate her." She defended herself.

"Since when were y'all sisters?" Link wondered.

"Well, you know we're not true sisters... but we're so close, we might as well be." Raznia corrected herself.

"You know... We're still here..." Mario mentioned, feeling left out.

"And we're _still_ carrying around these girls." Luigi added. "Just so you know... They aren't exactly light..."

"Damn, that's the second time... My fault, guys." Link apologized. "Raz, meet my homeboys: Mario and Luigi. Legends of the Mushroom Kingdom. Not as legendary as me, though." He boasted, laughing to himself. "Homeboys, meet my Gerudian homegirl: Raznia. Cute, right?"

"Link..." Raznia blushed a little.

"Hey, I'm just speakin' the truth." Link admitted.

"Nice to meet you guys." Raznia greeted.

"Same here." The brothers replied nodded.

"I know you wanna put those girls down, so follow me." Raznia said and led the way to the infirmary. When they reached there, she easily found two beds and a nurse to tend to them immediately.

"Alright, now for the reason we're here..." Link started. "As much as I'd love to chill with you, I can't. We got so much shit to do, it's not even funny. I'm not gonna waste time goin' though the details. All I gotta say is that we need to talk to Nabooru. Before we went runnin' to the Spirit Temple, though, we were hopin' she's here. _PLEASE_ tell me she's here." He prayed.

"She's not..." Raznia sighed. "Even when Midnight-Armor first came, Nabi wasn't here. He just showed up without warning, talking about harnessing the power of the spirits. We knew he was heading to the Spirit Temple, so we had to stop him. But we would've never guessed how powerful he was. He leveled our best forces with two moves! Then, I tried to take him on by myself. That was probably the worst idea of my life. I made the first move and tried to thrust my dagger into his chest. He smacked the dagger outta my hand with the huge sword he carried, grabbed me by the throat with that disgusting arm, and lifted me in the air. I thought I was gonna die, his grip was so strong. He laughed as he watched me struggle. 'You can't defeat your greatest nightmare,' he said and dropped me, then pointed his blade at my face. That had to be the creepiest sword I had ever seen. It felt like it emitted body heat, and I swear I saw it blink. Then he broke down the gate leading to the Haunted Wasteland and left. I was gonna chase him, but I decided to wait for Nabi to come back so we could attack together. When I told her that, she wouldn't let me come, though. She made me promise I'd help with the recovery."

After Raznia finished her story, the brothers could only sigh out in awe while shaking their heads. After hearing what Raznia and the Gerudo went through, and seeing the aftermath first-hand, they knew they were in for one hell of a ride.

Link stayed silent, looking like he was deep in thought. What Raznia described about this armored foe so far sounded familiar. The dark-blue armor, the mutated arm, the huge, seemingly living sword, the fiery ponytail, and the need to collect souls... He could almost guess who the culprit was, but before he jumped to conclusions, he wanted to wait for more evidence.

"So I guess we have no choice but to go to the Spirit Temple, after all..." Luigi muttered.

"Damnit..." Mario spat out. "We probably won't even make it through those trials. Especially without the Lens of Truth..."

"What happened to the Lens of Truth?" Raznia asked.

"It's a long story... Let's just say I lost it." Link muttered.

"You lost the Lens of Truth..." Raz repeated to herself, as if she was trying to convince herself that's what she heard. "You're such an idiot! How could you lose that! There's only one made every century!"

"I know that!" Link shot back. "Shit, I feel bad enough about it. You don't have to throw it back in my face."

"But it's just so stupid! The only thing stupider would be losing the Master Sword!" She claimed.

Link stayed silent, hanging his head pitifully and closing his eyes. The Mario brothers simply turned around and walked away, simultaneously sighing.

Raznia's heart sank to her feet. "Link... You didn't..."

He refused to raise his head. There was no possible way he could look her in the eye.

"You know what? I'm not even gonna say anything." Raznia decided. "I'm just gonna assume you were in _WAY_ over your head."

She watched Link's facial expression. Much to her disbelief, a tear rolled down Link's cheek. Something terrible must've happened, she thought to herself. Although she still couldn't believe the Master Sword was gone, she couldn't stay mad at Link after seeing how he truly felt.

"Ohhh... Come here..." Raznia cooed, pulling Link close and hugging him. Link rested his head on her shoulder as she consolingly caressed his neck. "I still love you. I'm sorry I got so mad. Just cry on my shoulder. Everything will be alright."

"I don't cry..." Link mumbled into Raz's shoulder.

"Those tears I feel say differently." She countered. She definitely wasn't lying about it either. Her shirt was actually a comfy tube-top with no shoulders. She could feel every tear Link cried.

"Alright guys, break it up." Mario suggested, returning from his short walk along with Luigi. "We gotta figure out a way to cross the Haunted Wasteland without the Lens."

"I can help." Raznia offered, still holding Link while swaying a bit. "Since us Gerudo guard the passage to the Temple, we naturally know all the shortcuts."

"But you're supposed to be helpin' with the recovery effort." Link reminded her.

"I'll _still_ be helping if I take you guys to the Spirit Temple, right? We won't ever recover if Midnight-Armor is still on the loose!" She pointed out. "Besides, as much as I don't wanna admit it, I don't think Nabi can handle him alone. We're almost equal in combat, and if I wasn't able to take him on, Nabi won't do too much better, even with her sage powers. Even before you guys came, I was planning on going. You picked a great time to show up, though. There's strength in numbers."

"Raz..." Link sighed, holding her shoulders. "What if somethin' happens out there? Gerudo Valley will be down two leaders..."

"You're worried about me?" Raznia gasped, her eyes lighting up. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Link, I'm one of the top fighters in Hyrule! I can probably take _you_ on without breaking a sweat! Besides, who would wanna mess this face up?" She said, fluttering her eyelashes and giving an overly cute smile.

"Midnight would do it without hesitation if he sees you again." Link stated. "I'm just sayin' anythin' can happen out there. And with us, anything _DOES_ happen. I don't want you involved with our luck. I'd really like it if you stayed here and let us handle it. Just tell us if there's another way through." Link said.

"Yeah, there's one more way..." Raz started, backing away from Link. "After wandering the desert for a few centuries, the spirits of the people that died trying to find a shortcut start to feel sorry for you, so they show you the way."

"Why after a few centuries? Why not after a few hours or, preferably, minutes?" Mario wondered.

"They're spiteful." Raznia simply replied. "They spent their lives looking, so they think you should too."

"They sound like great people. I wonder what they were like when they were alive." Luigi said, blatantly sarcastic.

"Luigi... Ever since we left Ganondorf's Castle, your level of sarcasm has been astounding. Even alarming, at some points. This is seriously not like you." Mario said, almost sounding concerned.

"All these twists and obstacles just have me in a bad mood." Luigi admitted.

"Don't worry, I'm sure something will go your way soon." Raznia said, trying to lift his spirits. "And the sooner we get moving to the Spirit Temple, the sooner something will go your way. I'm like a good luck charm."

"Raz..." Link sighed, protesting.

"So you _want_ to spend a few centuries in the Haunted Wasteland?" Raznia guessed.

"That's not a _serious_ question, is it?" Mario asked.

"I already said I was going, so you guys definitely aren't gonna stop me. Since we're all going in the same direction, I just figured it'd be better if we went together. But if you guys wanna do it your way, then go ahead. I guess I'll see ya later, then." Raznia said, almost sounding like she was hurt and started to leave.

"Hold on, Raznia." Mario called, promptly stalling her.

"We're coming with you." Luigi said. "I'm optimistic, but I seriously doubt I'll be able to keep it up for over a hundred years."

"So you're all coming?" Raznia's heart was lifted upon hearing that.

"Well, I dunno about Link, but Mario and I are definitely coming." Luigi said.

"You hear that, Link? That means you're coming too, right?" Raz called, playfully shoving his shoulder. "In fact, yes, you _are_ coming. I'm not letting you go through the Haunted Wasteland without the Lens of Truth by yourself."

Link made like he was about to protest, but stopped himself. It didn't matter how many arguments he came up with. She'd be too stubborn to back down.

"Fine..." He muttered, defeated.

"I knew you'd see it my way." Raznia smiled as she pinched Link's cheek. "Let me just get my weapons and let my people know I'm going to look for Nabi. I'll meet you guys where the gate used to be." She said and left the infirmary.

"Man... she's pushy, isn't she?" Luigi realized.

"Like you wouldn't believe." Link sighed, rubbing where Raznia just pinched. "Aight, let's get movin'. She's gonna be pissed if she's there before us."

As they made their way to the gate leading to the Haunted Wasteland, Mario slowed Link down, letting Luigi take the lead. Link shrugged, wondering what Mario was doing.

"This is gonna turn out to be more than just a test of strength, you know." Mario warned.

"What are you talkin' about? We might not even have to fight." Link said.

"Link, there's no such thing as optimism with us. We'll be fighting until we save Peach and Zelda, and you know it." Mario stated. "But what I'm getting at is this: not only are you gonna be tested physically, but faithfully as well."

"Huh?" Link shrugged, raising his eyebrow.

"I'm trying to sound wise, you idiot..." Mario muttered. "Raznia's _really_ into you. She's always trying to touch you or hold you somehow. I know you've noticed this."

"She's always like that." Link said.

"I guess it's just because I just met her, but to me, it looks like she wants you. _Badly_." Mario said. "What gave it away was the way she held you for such a long time when you were crying and caressing your neck. You should've seen the smile on her face."

"I admit, that felt overly good, but that don't mean nothin'. And I wasn't cryin'." Link corrected.

"Sure you weren't. Anyway, just watch yourself around her. Think with your mind, not with your sword. And you know I'm not talking about the Sword of Darkness." Mario advised. "She's an extremely pretty girl, and I can see her making you forget about Samus. In fact, just to keep the distance between you two, tell her you're already taken. I'm sure she'll ease off a little if she knows you have a significant other."

"Yo Mario, I appreciate the concern and all, but I got this." Link assured. "I don't think it'll get that bad. Yeah, she filled out nicely. _Real_ nicely... But I know better than to lose focus on what's really important. Samus means a lot to me, and I'm not gonna do her dirty like that. Even if we were in different universes, I'd still stay faithful, no matter how many girls wanted to ride the Link Express. There's only one seat on that train, and it's reserved for Samus."

"I don't know if that's sweet or sick... You're lucky I understand what you're trying to say. But remember, it's always easier said than done." Mario warned.

"Hey, guys..." Luigi muttered, slowing his pace to match the others. "I just realized I don't know where I'm going, and yet I'm leading the way. Am I the only who sees something wrong with this picture?"

"You really need to stop the sarcasm. It's very unbecoming." Mario said.

"As soon as things stop being so extravagantly screw-worthy, I'll stop." Luigi said.

"You weren't doin' too bad, Luigi. We're almost there." Link said, taking point and leading them the rest of the way.

_Thirty minutes later..._

All ready to go with her saber mounted on her back and her butterfly dagger hanging in a sheath on her hip, Raznia waited for Link's group to show up. It had been so long since she last saw them, she started to think they left without her, but she evaded that thought.

"Farore... Where are they?" Raznia wondered, her arms crossed and her foot impatiently tapping against the dusty ground.

With Link and his crew...

"Farore... Where are we?!" Link wondered, impatiently running through every door he saw trying to find a way out.

"Link, we won't get anywhere if you keep running around like this! Just calm down!" Mario said, trying to keep up with a frantic Link.

"I'm calm! If I seem stressed out, it's because freakin' Luigi led us down the wrong freakin' hallway like a freakin' idiot!" Link shouted angrily.

"HEY!! You told me I was going the right way! Don't pin this on me like it's my fault!" Luigi shot back.

"I'm only pinnin' this on you like it's your fault because it _IS_ your fault!" Link accused.

"Alright, you two need to stop." Mario demanded, greatly perturbed by the unnecessary bickering. "Arguing about whose fault it is isn't getting us outta here any quicker! I'll take the blame for this one: we woulda been there already if I didn't pull Link aside for a while."

Luigi and Link glared at each other for a second. The anger in their faces gradually subsided as they looked at each other.

"Sorry, Luigi..." Link muttered after a sigh. "I'm just a little on-edge right now... Things aren't goin' like I planned."

"...no problem." Luigi replied.

"Man... Raznia's probably thinkin' we ditched her..." Link sighed. "I hope she waits around for another five minutes. I think we can get outta here by then."

_With Raznia..._

"Link probably convinced them to ditch me..." She thought aloud, leaning against the gate walls. "He knows I'm not some helpless kid! I should chase them down and beat them to death, just to prove a point."

She breathed out, while closing her eyes.

"I know Link wouldn't grim out on me like that... I'll give them five more minutes. They probably just got lost in the fortress. It's kinda sad if they did, though; Link should know the place like the back of his hand. I just hope they don't end up anywhere they don't belong, like the sauna or something..."

_With Link and crew..._

"Why the hell is this room so steamy? It's hot enough as is, since we're so close to the desert." Link complained, wiping his brow.

"You've never been in a room like this?" Luigi asked, slightly amazed. "It reminds me of a sauna. People usually sit around here wearing next-to nothing, or simply nothing at all, and relax. Steam therapy is supposed to be real good for you; relieves stress."

"I guess this is the best place to be now. That attack was pretty vicious... The Gerudo could use some therapy." Link said.

"Hmmm... You said there are only women here, right?" Mario asked.

"There's a guy born every hundred years, but for the most part..." Link never completed that sentence after coming to a harsh realization: they were uninvited guests in a women's sauna room. He knew for _sure_ the Gerudo wouldn't appreciate this in the least bit. "Okay... Don't panic... If we stay quiet and leave, maybe no one will notice us... In fact, there might not even be anyone in here."

_Deeper into the sauna..._

"Shhh... Does anyone else hear voices?" A Gerudo woman asked, dressed in only a white towel.

Eight other minimally dressed women nodded.

_Back with Raznia..._

"Five minutes and still no sign of them..." She groaned, disappointed. With cruel intentions, she began to cross into the Haunted Wasteland. "They better pray I don't find them. They are so dead..."

"_**EEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!**_"

Raznia spun around hastily after she heard the echoing wail that rang throughout Gerudo Valley. It came from the direction of the fortress and sounded like one gigantic conglomeration of voices screaming as loud as they could.

She spotted a huge dust-cloud heading toward her at rapid speeds. At the front of the cloud, three figures were seen running at full speed toward the gateway to the Haunted Wasteland.

"Link... and his friends..." She said to herself, cracking a subtle smile.

She was glad that they didn't leave without her after all, but quickly grew upset again because of how long they made her wait.

As soon as they were close enough to hear her shouts of anger, she began yelling at them.

"How could you leave me waiting like that?! I thought you guys... left..."

She stopped screaming once Mario and Luigi jetted past without paying her any mind. They're faces were beet-red, as well as panic-stricken. She decided to scream at Link, who was just closing in. Just as she was about to begin, she noticed there were other figures in the dust-cloud.

Nine angry towel-clad Gerudo women...

"Link, what did you do?!" Raznia exclaimed, shocked by the bizarre scene.

"RUN NOW, TALK LATER!!" A wide, fearful-eyed Link blurted out in one breath as he grabbed Raznia's arm and picked up his speed, forcing her into a full sprint as they ventured into the Haunted Wasteland.

* * *

"I still can't believe you three ended up in the sauna... You know how deep in the fortress you had to have been to find it?" Raznia said, still finding Link's ordeal utterly ridiculous.

"I'm tellin' you: that's just the type of luck we have. We never end up where we wanna go." Link shook his head.

"It wasn't all _that_ bad. We got to see some pretty women wearing nothing but towels." Mario said, trying his hand at the optimism game. "We got a pretty long look, too, before they started screaming. And I think Luigi made a new friend."

"What are you talking about?" Luigi wondered, turning to Mario with a puzzled expression.

"Don't play dumb! We both saw that girl checking you out for those ten seconds before the chase. I think she winked at you." Mario smiled, nudging Luigi's arm with his elbow.

"Ugh... Don't remind me..." Luigi groaned, holding his forehead and shaking his head. "Of all the Gerudo women to check me out, the one fat, beastly outcast had an eye for me..."

"That was the perfect time to try the Five Senses strategy!" Mario pointed out.

Link and Mario were approaching tears from how much they were laughing. Luigi could only furrow his brow, trying not to let his companions get to him.

"I feel left out..." Raznia muttered.

"This guy, Luigi, thinks he can bag any girl by just telling them how 'delightful' they are to his senses." Link explained.

"What, you can't?" Raznia wondered.

"Not the way my naïve little brother's thinking." Mario shook his head.

"Try me." Raznia offered.

Luigi looked apprehensive. "No... I've been thinking about it, and they're right. I'd end up looking stupid."

"C'mon! A guy like you?" Raznia's lips suddenly curled into a suggestive smile. "A... sexy green machine like you?" She closed in on Luigi with a hip-swaying strut.

Mario and Link's jaw dropped at Raznia's sudden change in demeanor. Luigi had no idea what he just did to illicit such a response. But now that he had it, he didn't even know where to begin. This was not the time to prove his brother right, though. He knew what to do with _this _girl...

"I... already have a girlfriend..." Luigi meekly muttered as he backed away. It was the coward's way out, but the only way out. He wasn't ready for a girl with Raznia's magnitude of beauty.

Even at the sound of that, she could only let out an amused giggle. "She's not here, right?" Raznia was close enough to hold onto his wrists. "I know you're a good boy, but you can be bad for a little bit, right? She'll never have to know that your hands were right... here." Raznia suddenly wrapped his arms around her waist.

"WH--" Mario was about to shout, but Link threw a hand over his mouth.

"Trust me, if it were anyone else, I'd be jealous." Link said in a quiet voice. "But it's my man, Luigi! And he's about to accomplish somethin' significant. Keep it down and let the man work."

Luigi was nervous before, but now his heart pounded so hard, he could almost swear anyone could see it beating though his shirt. He was close. Real close. Close enough to realize that Raznia definitely _was _delightful to his senses. He looked at her face...

"You're... really pretty. You appeal... to... my sense... of sight." Luigi nervously stammered.

"Really?" Raznia's suggestive grin became just a little more sultry. "What other senses do I appeal to?"

Luigi took a second to think. He noticed that even with the fierce winds blowing sand to his back, he could still take a good whiff of whatever perfume Raznia was wearing. It was light; so very pleasant to take in. It made him feel like he was standing in a field of blooming flowers...

"...my sense of smell. Your perfume eases my mind." And with an eased mind, Luigi's wooing techniques suddenly awakened. "I wouldn't have a problem keeping you around as my sedative." He added with a confident grin.

"Oh man... I should write that down. That was smooth." Link nodded approvingly.

Mario was floored, to say the least. Never would he have thought in a million years that his brother had the capacity to be a lady's man.

"Mmmm, you sweet-talker." Raznia giggled as she curled Luigi's mustache around her finger. "Tell me more."

"Lucky for you, I have more." Luigi replied with another grin. "It may be cliché, but your voice is music to my ears. Even if I didn't have anything to say to you, I'd make something up just to keep you vocal."

"If you keep this up, I'll never be able to keep quiet." Raznia continued to play with Luigi's mustache. "I love the way your mustache feels. Very well-maintained."

"I do what I can." Luigi modestly accepted her compliment. "I can say the same about your skin. Don't let my gloves fool you. I can still feel you. And you feel..." Luigi bravely moved his hand up to Raznia's cheek. "...hot. I don't know, it might be the desert making you that way."

"Or it just might be you." Raznia suggested.

"Holy Din... he's in there... Go, Luigi." Link wiped a proud tear from his eye, like a father would do when his son picked up his first girl.

Mario remained silent in complete awe. Never would he have thought that his making fun of his brother would end up turning out like this. Because of him, Luigi was about to land _the _most beautiful woman either of them had ever seen. Mario couldn't help it. He was jealous. Luigi wasn't supposed to be better than him in _anything_.

Luigi was admittedly caught off-guard with Raznia's statement, but his confidence wouldn't let him falter. With a cool smile and a laugh, "It just might be."

He knew there was only one sense left before he could deem the Five Senses strategy a triumph. The whole world knew it, and it knew that was the most difficult one... The same questions ran through everyone's mind: how would he approach it? And would Raznia even go that far so soon? As everyone wondered, Raznia continued to curl Luigi's mustache. Suddenly, he found his opening.

"You really like my mustache." Luigi pointed out.

"Well, everyone I've ever known never had a mustache." Raznia admitted.

"Yeah. You live in a mainly-female society. I think it'd be a problem if you did." Luigi said.

"I think so, too." Raznia giggled. "Still, I kinda wonder how it'd feel to have one. It looks like it tickles."

Luigi felt giddy as his plan played out just as expected. But he still had to play it cool.

"I wouldn't say to grow one. You're pretty, but I don't think you're pretty enough to make one work." Luigi admitted.

"Not like you, right?" Raznia teased.

"At least you think I'm pretty." Luigi nodded. "You can still sort of find out how a mustache feels."

"Really?" Raznia raised her eyebrows. "How?"

"Come a little closer." Luigi requested as he led Raznia's face closer to his.

"Holy Din!" Link excitedly whispered as he held back the urge to jump up and down and make a scene.

"I seriously can't believe this..." Mario shook his head.

Luigi was beside himself. He never knew he had it in him: the ability to woo the prettiest of women. He had to hand it to himself, even though he thought it up spur of the moment, his Five Senses strategy proved to be foolproof. This was the answer not only him, but all guys were looking for: the perfect way to pick up a lady. He had plans for this: books, videos, maybe even live, impromptu demonstrations. Luigi suddenly had his whole future planned out, and it was looking splendid: riches beyond his wildest dreams, and a girl more attractive than anyone he'd ever encounter in his wildest dreams. He'd have it all, and nothing would be able to bring him back down to earth.

Nothing except a playful, yet still stinging, slap to the face. Suddenly, the mountain Luigi was standing on crumbled as his ego plummeted back down to reality. He looked at Raznia, who smiled back at him.

"Wha..." Luigi had no idea what went wrong. He couldn't even bring himself to ask what happened. He just stumbled backwards, staring at Raznia with wide, shocked eyes.

"NAYRU, NOOOOOO!!" Link shouted in desperation and defeat. "Raz, that was cold-blooded! How could you do that to Luigi? He was doin' everythin' right!"

"I know." Raznia smiled with a nod. "I also know that Luigi doesn't want a girl that moves that fast. They never lead anywhere good. And I'm not that type of girl. It takes time to get that close to me."

Luigi suddenly felt really stupid. He couldn't let Raznia know, though.

"Like... five more minutes?" Luigi played off his disappointment.

"More like five more weeks." Raznia corrected. "I like to flirt, but if I get serious, I need to know the guy for a while before anything happens between us. I can tell you this, though, Mr. Smooth..." Raznia put a caring hand on his shoulder. "I would've broken the rules for you. Three weeks would've done it. After you get over your shyness, you're really funny. Any girl would be crazy about you." Raznia then planted a surprise kiss on Luigi's cheek. "If you _really _want your Five Senses strategy to work, spread it out a little and save the sense of taste forwhen you're sure she's putty in your hands."

"But Raz... you _were _putty in his hands. I saw that look in your eye. You were about to go _all the way_." Link said.

"I need to teach you about women, Link." Raznia shook her head and walked ahead.

"What are you talkin' about? I know more about women than women!" Link shouted at her as he tagged behind her.

Mario looked to Luigi. He still looked downtrodden. Even after getting approval from Raznia, he still wanted more. He really did like the idea of having her by his side. Mario walked over and patted him on the shoulder. Luigi looked over to him and gave him a weak smile, appreciative of Mario's support.

"Told you."

Or so he thought...

"Told me?" Luigi wondered, his face screwed up in confusion.

"That you'd get slapped. I told you." Mario explained.

"You're a real bastard, you know that? You look so happy now. But I'll bet you were really jealous when she was playing with my mustache." Luigi speculated.

"If it makes you feel any better, I was. But then she slapped you, just like I predicted. Now I'm happy again." Mario gave a big, cheesy smile to underline how happy he was. "Let's just call it even. You proved you can cause a woman to swoon and I can predict a slap to the face hours before it happens."

"Fine..." Luigi grumbled.

"Now let's catch up to Link and your girlfriend before he tries any funny stuff." Mario teased, picking up his pace.

"I should kill you..." Luigi growled, tagging along.

* * *

"Beautiful..." Mario, Luigi, and Link uttered simultaneously as they made their way forward.

The trio looked ahead of them, gasping in awe. In the eye of the violent sandstorm lied a clear, calm, soothing desert oasis surrounded by sporadically-placed palm trees. Traces of green grass could be seen spreading from the edge of the small pond in the center, but stopping not even two feet away from it.

"Sure is." Raznia agreed. "This is actually one of my hangout spots. Whenever I need some me-time, I just come here. I know I'll never be bothered; no one likes traveling through all that."

"I don't blame 'em." Link agreed, looking back at the sandstorm surrounding them. It was almost kind of eerie to him how this particular spot could stay so calm when nothing but chaos surrounded it 24/7.

Link and the brothers decided to get a drink of water and rest up a little before they headed back into entropy. While he rested, Link simply stared up into the clouds, noticing the sky was slowly gaining a tint of red. The sun was setting... He got up to get one last drink before suggesting they get back to traveling. He noticed Raznia sitting against the base of a palm tree, though, staring out into the sandstorm and looking concerned. Link decided to check up on her, just to make sure she was alright.

"Yo." Link greeted, sitting next to her.

"Hey." Raznia replied, changing her sitting position and now resting her arm on her raised knee.

"You alright? I never seen you lookin' so worried about anything before." Link said.

"Nothing ever happened to get me this worried before." Raznia said. "I just can't believe _one guy_ was able to do that to us. It would've taken almost all of the Hylian army to just hold us at bay." She closed her eyes and sighed. "I just hope Nabi's alright in there."

"She should be. She didn't become the Sage of Spirit because she was a pushover, right?" Link said, trying to help Raznia feel better. "Trust me; we'll be there before anything truly grim happens."

Raznia turned to Link and smiled. She appreciated his concern. Link returned a smile of his own. Both of them turned back to stare into the raging storm.

"What are we lookin' at?" Link wondered.

"That's basically where the Spirit Temple is. We should be there before the sun sets." She answered, deciding to rest her head on Link's shoulder.

His heart skipped a beat. He immediately rose up to his feet, almost letting Raznia fall into the sand.

"Well, the sun is settin' now, so we should get movin' if we wanna guarantee that." Link said nervously, pretending he had to stretch.

Just as Raznia was about to ask about what just happened...

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Two sudden voices shouted in unison.

Link and Raznia turned toward Mario and Luigi's direction. The way they were jumping around and swinging their arms, looking as if they were fighting. Little, green, flan-looking creatures were rising from the ground without warning and attacking the brothers' feet.

"Godamnit, Leevers!" Link shouted angrily.

The brothers were getting pushed back and surrounded. They frantically threw as many fireballs as they could. The monsters went down easy enough, but there were so many of them, it didn't matter. Replacement Leevers came in faster than the brothers could defeat them

"They're gonna get eaten alive if we don't help them!" Raznia urgently suggested.

"I got this." Link assured, materializing his sword and shield in his hands.

In the blink of an eye, he jetted into the center of the ordeal, right where Mario and Luigi were standing. On his way, he slashed his way through a line of Leevers, disintegrating them into nothingness with one swift swing.

"Sup, guys." Link greeted as he stood in front of the brothers in a defensive stance.

"Nothing much. We're just surrounded by a legion of strange little monster-things. You know, the usual stuff." Luigi said, very matter-of-factly.

"What are they? They just keep coming!" Mario shouted.

"Remember those Leevers I told you about back in Mute City? These are them. I don't remember if I told you they like to come in hoardes or not." Link said.

"I don't think you did." Mario recalled. "They're closing in on us... Any plans?"

"Duck." Link commanded as he assumed an attack stance behind his shield, whose eye was half opened.

Heeding his warning, the brothers hit the deck. Link then held his sword out the same way he would when he was charging his Spin Attack. His black blade began to glow, becoming surrounded in a light, wispy-blue aura. The light around him began to dissipate, leaving his sword as the only source of light.

"HHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Link bellowed as he spun nine hundred degrees in a quick, tight circle.

Each revolution he made with his blade created an energy wave. The three waves combined into one huge power wave, capable of obliterating anything that stood in its way. Of course, the army of Leevers was no exception. With a high-pitched screech of pain, each Leever the wave touched was annihilated completely, leaving nothing but a fine dust behind.

The brothers rose to their feet and looked around them. Every single Leever they had seen before was gone. Mario and Luigi looked at Link in awe.

"Link!" Raznia shouted, jogging toward the trio. "Link, that was just..."

"Fuckin' incredible? Damn-straight!" Link boasted, dematerializing his weapons. "You have no idea how good that felt. I hate Leevers with a passion."

"I'm kinda worried, though. This is the first time Leevers ever showed up here." Raznia admitted.

"Welcome to our luck." Link said.

"Everything that's not supposed to happen happens with us." Luigi said. "It takes a little getting used to."

"Just a little, right?" Raznia laughed. "Well, don't forget, I'm your good luck charm! It could've been a lot worse."

"You shouldn't have said that..." Mario, Link, and Luigi regretfully sighed simultaneously, shaking their heads.

Suddenly, the eye of the storm closed shut, thrusting all four of them back into the violent sandstorm. They also felt seismic activity under their feet, which seemed to grow stronger as time went on. Link noticed the eye on his shield was wide open at this point.

"My shield's eye is wide open..." He warned.

"What's that mean?" Raznia asked, concerned.

"Things are about to get amazingly grimey." Link answered.

Suddenly, from under the sand, one humongous blue Leever erupted and menacingly stood before them. It screeched violently at them, and made like it was about to rush them. They all jumped into the defensive, but then another thunderous tremor rumbled the ground. They thought this was the Giant Leever's doing, but they were able to somehow tell the Leever was just as shocked as they were.

"What now?!" Mario shouted.

Immediately answering his question, something exploded from the sand, throwing everyone off their feet and helplessly into the air.

Once Link landed, he glanced around just to see what his situation was like now. When he looked up, he noticed the Leever was still up in the air, on a downward decent. He followed its fall until it vanished into the mouth of an even more gargantuan creature.

"Holy shit... A sandworm?!" Link gasped as he studied the new menace.

The first thing he noticed about it was that it was _long_. And half of its dirt-brown colored, tube-like body was still under the ground. The creature also didn't seem to have a face. It just had one huge mouth, with rows and rows of sharp, ravenous teeth tracing the circumference.

Just realizing both of his weapons got knocked out of his hands, he reached around frantically for them. He found his shield almost immediately, but his sword was nowhere to be found.

"Link!" A voice shouted faintly through the howling storm.

"Raz!" He shouted back, recognizing who it was.

Link jumped up and followed her cries. He found her buried waste deep in sand and the sandworm staring threateningly at her. A long, red, tongue-looking organ drooled out of its mouth. The creature swung its head around twice and was about to slam the helpless Raznia under its massive and heavy appendage.

She let out a scream of fear and ducked her head. She flinched when she heard a clang and felt some sand get kicked up into her face. Curious as to why she hadn't been flattened yet, she looked up to see Link struggling to fight off the worm, holding its tongue back with his shield.

He managed to throw the tongue up and delivered a heavy somersault kick. The monster let out a pained screech and sucked in its appendage. Before it completely pulled it back in, Link noticed his sword stuck near the tip of the creature's tongue. The sandworm then burrowed back under the sand, kicking up another blast of stinging sand. Link shielded himself and Raznia from the onslaught, then pulled her out of the sand when it died down.

"You alright?" Link asked.

"I'm fine." Raznia assured, dusting the excess sand off of her. "This is the first time I've ever seen anything like this! This shortcut's supposed to be easy to get through! We should've been at the Spirit Temple by now!"

"I _told_ you anythin' and everythin' happens to us!" Link exclaimed. "Where's Mario and Luigi?"

"Last time I saw them, they were flying through the air. I hope they're alright..." She said.

"They should be." Link said. "We need to figure out a way to get my sword back. It's stuck on that thing's tongue."

Before Raznia could answer, she felt the ground rumbling beneath her again. She looked up to Link and shoved him backward as she backflipped out of the way. Right on cue, the monstrous sandworm erupted out of the ground with a thunderous bellow and landed with enough force to register as a small earthquake. It began slithering away from them at surprisingly quick speeds.

Raznia took the opportunity to unsheathe her saber and butterfly dagger and assumed a fighting stance. Link looked to her for a second. She acknowledged him with a nod. Link nodded back as the sandworm made a u-turn and charged at them, swinging its tongue recklessly back and forth. Just when its tongue was within prime swinging range, Raznia gracefully cartwheeled out of the way. Link, on the other hand, stood his ground and moved his shield further up his arm, delivering a devastating backhand blow to the creature's soft spot. The sandworm's upper-body got jerked off course by the blow and slid to the side, skidding to a halt.

Raznia then jumped on top of what seemed to be the exposed underbelly of the beast and impaled her saber into the middle. Her blade bounced off it's skin with a "clank", then the monstrosity flipped itself right-side up. Raznia jumped off just before the creature could crush her. She found herself in a tougher spot, though. The sandworm curled itself into ring, and Raznia was standing right in the middle.

"Raz!" Link shouted out as he tried to beat his way into the tight circle.

Throwing its tongue out once again, it thrust its upper body at her, trying to knock her out. Perfectly timing the moment of impact, Raznia thrust both her blades into its oncoming tongue. It met with more force than she expect, knocking her forcefully to the side, but she was still able to hold onto blades, hanging on for dear life as the agonizing sandworm wildly swung its tongue around.

Managing to gain some balance, Raznia catapulted off her blades, ripping them out of the monster's tongue, and landed right on top of it on both feet. There, she spotted Link's Sword of Darkness and was about to run toward it. She suddenly realized she couldn't move her feet! The top of the sandworm's tongue was coated with some amazingly sticky mucus. As hard as she fought, she couldn't escape. And to make matters worse, the tongue was being pulled into the worm's mouth.

"What is she doin'? Get away from there!" Link shouted at an immobile Raznia.

She knew for sure if she didn't escape now, she'd be ripped to shreds. Seconds before she was about to be engulfed, she noticed the creature's one little green eye blinking rapidly. Hoping for the best, she threw her butterfly blade directly at the center of the monster's pupil. Link watched in anticipation as he watched the dagger hit its mark.

"YES!!" They both celebrated as the monster froze momentarily from the wave of pain that traveled through every long inch of its body.

Suddenly, it insanely jerked its entire body around, with Raznia still stuck on its tongue. She would've been thrown off a long time ago, but the mucus still held on strong. Link could only stand back and watch the monster viciously thrash all over the place. After a wild fifteen seconds, the monster finally fainted from the pain, letting its tongue droop limply out of its mouth. Link ran up to his sword and finally claimed what was rightfully his.

And his first order of business: mercilessly hacking off the sandworm's tongue. A thick, green, dense liquid came spilling out of the sandworm's mouth. The mucus on its dismembered tongue also dried up immediately, freeing Raznia from her sticky prison. She jumped off the tongue and landed right next to Link, who watched the creature arc its upper-body upward and letting a long pained and exhausted groan echo into the sky. Its groan soon changed into a gurgled moan, suggesting the worm was drowning in its own bodily fluids. Finally, it limply collapsed, remaining lifelessly still.

"We make a pretty good team." Raznia said to Link with a smile.

"Definitely." Link replied.

The creature's body began to crumble and disintegrated into the sand. Nothing was left except one glowing burgundy-red piece barely sticking out of the sand. Link cautiously unearthed the piece from under the sand and studied it. As it glowed, it emitted an evil aura. Suddenly, the piece shattered in his hand and flew toward the Spirit Temple.

"I knew it..." Link muttered as he put his sword and shield away.

"Is everything okay?" Raznia wondered, noticing the grim expression on Link's face.

"I was hoping I was wrong about this one..." Link sighed. "Let's find Mario and Luigi, first. I'll tell you all at once."

Link and Raznia found themselves in the calm eye of the storm, which returned the desert oasis back to its original splendor. Wild splashing was heard coming from the pond. As they got closer to the small body of water, they saw Mario and Luigi crawling out, looking incredibly exhausted and soaked to the bone.

"What happened to you two?" Link asked, kneeling down to help Mario up on his feet.

"Quicksand... We got knocked into quicksand..." Mario huffed tiredly.

"We actually landed back into the pond, but there was so much sand in the water, it created quicksand." Luigi recounted, lazily resting on his back. "We were time trying to jump out, but we got exhausted and were about to give up. Luckily, the sandstorm died and the water miraculously cleaned out. We had just enough strength to float out."

"Looks like we both caught a lucky break." Raznia said. "I almost got eaten."

Mario and Luigi let out a tired laugh.

"Yo, I figured some stuff out." Link started. "We got attacked by a sandworm: the first sandworm in Hyrule, _ever_. When we killed it, it dropped a shard of a weapon. Right there, I knew it was a manifestation of the weapon's power, not a real worm."

"Wow... Just the shard was _that_ strong..." Raznia muttered.

"What weapon could be that powerful?" Mario inquired.

"Soul Edge." Link answered. "This isn't the first time I encountered it. Last time, it willed one of our most powerful magicians into doin' all types of grim shit. I shut him down quick and thought that was the end of it, but I found out it was really Soul Edge's doing. I set out to destroy it, and I thought I did, but just a second ago I was holding a piece of it in my hand." He foretold. "I also know who Midnight-Armor is: Nightmare. He used to be one of the good guys, but after he set out to find his father's murderer, he found Soul Edge. It slowly convinced him that the only way to resurrect his dad was to absorb as many souls as he could. But the more souls he took, the stronger the sword's hold was on him. He didn't even remember who he was anymore. Eventually, he was defeated by some other guy wielding the Soul Calibur: Soul Edge's equal in opposite power. Everyone thought he was done for, but lo and behold, he's here in Hyrule, screwin' up our natural balance. And since he has a constant supply of souls in the Spirit Temple, he's gonna be insanely powerful by the time we reach him."

The other three just stayed silent. What Link just described to them was a lot to absorb. And if what he said was true, they were in for the fight of their lives.

"You know what pisses me off the most?" Mario started. "This isn't even the final battle. And yet, this is shaping up to be the most difficult fight in our entire journey! By the time we reach Ganondorf and Bowser, we're gonna be so weak, they'll walk all over us!"

"I actually wouldn't be surprised if Ganondorf was actually behind this." Luigi sighed.

"That's probably why he told me to get the Light Arrows..." Link realized. "He could've easily murked me if I went in there when I wanted to, but Ganondorf won't get his hands dirty if he doesn't have to."

"So... on top of this, you have to face Ganondorf? Again?!" Raznia gasped upon learning this new info.

"I'll tell you about it later. Everythin' leadin' up to this has been epic." Link said.

"Alright, I know things are urgent and everything, but I really can't move right now." Mario mentioned, falling to the floor. "I'm sorry, but I need a few minutes to get back whatever I lost trying to jump out the quicksand. I'm pretty sure Luigi needs it too."

"Ha ha! You couldn't be more right, my brother." Luigi verified, still sprawled out exhausted on the ground.

"We're all gonna have to be at 100 if we wanna stand a chance." Link said, looking to Raznia.

"You're right... But don't get too comfortable. As soon as you're able to stand, we're going." Raznia warned.

"Fine by me." Mario nodded.

The sky quickly became midnight, nightmarish-black. This only reminded them of the ordeal they were about to experience very shortly...


	25. Only the Beginning: Part 3

**Act 10****: **_**Only the Beginning**_ (Part 3)

"Me and you..." Link sang.

"And you and me..." Raznia continued.

"No matter how we break the ice...

"You have to see..."

"The only one for me is you..."

"And you and me..."

"And we'll be together." Both of them sang at their highest notes in harmony.

"Cute duet..." Luigi sarcastically muttered. "...what makes it even cuter is that neither of you know the words."

"Luigi, the sarcasm has to stop. It's not working for you at all..." Mario sighed. "'And we'll be together'... Luigi should be singing that with Raznia, not you, Link. Are you two in secretly love or something?" He said, turning to Link and Raznia.

Raznia blushed, giving a bashful smile. Link, on the other hand, was appalled. His face turned a little, as if he was insulted.

"We both like that song, so we'll sing it together! That don't mean a damn thing! And I don't give a damn if we don't know the words; we'll sing it anyway! That ain't a problem, right?" Link countered, sounding overly defensive.

"No. I'm just checking, that's all." Mario assured, backing off a little.

"Just to change the subject..." Raznia spoke up, halting the hostility. "...we're here."

The quartet stood before the massive temple before them. Out of all the times Link and Raznia had been there, the temple never felt so foreign to them before. Usually, the aura the temple emitted felt at peace. Not this time. There was a huge green energy pillar shooting into the sky. They also felt a severe uneasiness in the air, as if all the molecules surrounding the area were at war. Raznia let her jaw drop in awe while Link gritted his teeth in anger.

"I _know_ that's not normal." Mario stated, staring astounded at the beam.

"Looks like the gods are fighting to bring back the balance. I can feel the struggle..." Raznia said, holding herself.

"Are they winning?" Luigi asked.

"I dunno. I'm not a sage..." She admitted. "I can feel Nightmare and Soul Edge fighting against the gods, but that's nothing special. You guys can probably feel it, too." The trio nodded in response. "I can't tell whose winning."

"The gods gotta be winnin'! There's three of 'em!" Link exclaimed. "Whatever, I'll be there to help 'em out."

"The sooner we enter, the sooner we can all help. Let's go." Mario said, leading the way through the doorway and into the Spirit Temple.

"Looks like nothin's changed since the last time I was here." Link said, scanning the chamber they stood in.

On his left, there was a hole at the base of the wall small enough for child to crawl through. On the right, a huge block blocked the second hallway. Both ways led further into the temple to where they needed to be. The only question was: which way was the better way?

"Choose your destiny." Link demanded in a deep, grim voice.

"There's only one way we can pick. I doubt any of us can fit through that hole on the left." Mario guessed, suggesting they should try for the right.

"You chose wisely." Link growled approvingly.

"Please stop that..." Mario requested.

"I dunno... This block looks pretty heavy." Luigi noticed, giving the block a few test nudges just to verify his guess. "The four of us, together, might not be able to move it."

"Yeah, we can." Link disagreed. "In fact, one of me, alone, can do it. Step aside, meng." He said, pushing Luigi to the side.

Link went through a stretching regiment, reaching his arms up as high as he could as well as cracking his fingers, his back, his neck, and whatever else he could. He then rubbed his hands together and placed his hands on the huge block, making like he was about to use every ounce of strength he had to move it. Suddenly, with a loud "HYA", Link buried his knee into the face of the block, sending it sliding backward into a ditch. The right pathway leading further into the Spirit Temple was now opened.

Link turned around and posed with his thumb up, but then knelt onto his good knee and tenderly rubbed the one he just kicked the block with.

"That kinda hurt..." He muttered in pain, rising to both feet and walking it off.

"You're such a showoff..." Raznia teased, walking into the newly opened hallway with the rest of the group tailing her.

They stopped at a door. Raznia held her hand out, and up it rose with a winding sound, as if gears were at work. She and Link entered first. Mario and Luigi were about to enter next. Just as they were about to place one foot through the doorway, the door came crashing back down, pounding against the stone ground. Link and Raznia turned around immediately and were shocked to find the door had closed shut without letting Mario and Luigi enter. They pounded on it, trying to get it to open again, but there was no avail.

"What just happened?" Mario shouted through the door.

"I dunno! What's up on your side?" Link shouted back.

"Nothing yet. The door just has steel bars over it, now." Luigi answered.

"They're not gonna be able to come in on this side..." Raznia said.

"Damnit..." Link sighed. "Yo, you two are gonna have to find a way to get in on the other side. Both ways lead to the Boss's room. We should be able to meet up there."

"This _is _the first time we've been here, you know. How will we know we're there?" Mario wondered.

"I suck at givin' directions..." Link groaned. "Oh, I got it!"

Link reached into his tunic. His face brightened up as if he found something. Indeed, he did. He whipped out a dungeon map for the Spirit Temple.

"Thank Farore for dungeon magic." Link gratefully said to himself. "I got a map for y'all!" He called to the brothers.

Mario and Luigi looked at each other, perplexed.

"I thought you lost everything you had in Mute City." Luigi recalled Link saying.

"Dungeon magic, baby!" Link exclaimed. "Once you find the dungeon map and compass in any temple here in Hyrule, it's _always_ available to you when you come back."

"Alright, that's very cool and helpful. But how will that help _us_? There's a big, impenetrable stone door between us." Mario pointed out.

"For now." Link said with a smirk. "Hold this, Raz." He requested, passing the map to Raznia.

Holding out his left hand, Link's Sword of Darkness appeared in his grasp. He began engraving the symbol of the Triforce into the middle of the door. He then raised his right fist to the symbol. It began to shine intensely as Link's piece of the Triforce, the Triforce of Courage, shined on the back of his hand as well.

With a deep breath, Link then punched the center of the Triforce as hard as he could, humming a loud "MMMMMMMM!!" as he put all his power into it. His efforts granted them a new hole in the wall, just about as big as Mario's head, in the shape of an upside-down triangle.

"Wh... wow..." Raznia let out in bewilderment after witnessing Link punch the hole in the sturdy stone door.

"Truly, though, all I had to do was punch the door. All that other shit was just showin' off." Link admitted with a shrug and a laugh.

Raznia and Link now stared at a stunned Luigi and Mario on the other side of the door. Link motioned for Raznia to give him the map. She did so, and Link stuck the map through the hole, with Mario graciously taking it from him.

"In case you're wonderin'..." Link started. "I'd make the hole big enough so y'all could jus' jump through, but I don't have as much power as I did in the Darkness of Time. This is the best I could do."

"It's good enough." Luigi assured Link. "At least we won't be lost in the temple now."

"That's right, my man. Keep up that optimism." Link encouraged.

"But what about you?" Luigi wondered.

"I know this place like the back of my hand. Plus, I have Raz. We're gonna get there quick. In fact, we're already there." Link smiled.

The hole in the door slowly began closing itself shut.

"Alrighty, peeps. Just follow the map and we'll see each other in no time. See y'all soon." Link said, reaching an open hand through the closing hole.

"But not too soon." Mario said, clapping his hand into Link's, making a silent vow that they _will_ see each other again.

Link quickly bought his hand back to his side just before the hold closed. The last thing the brothers saw was Link nod and Raznia wave to them. Finally, the hole was completely gone, and they faced a solid, barred door once again.

"Well, we're on our own." Luigi said.

"Yep..." Mario sighed.

The brothers walked over to the child-sized hole and studied it for a while. It seemed even smaller to them now. They couldn't even figure out how they could fit their heads through, let alone their entire body.

"How do we get through this?" Mario questioned, actually getting on all fours and attempting to crawl through. "My head can't even fit through!"

"We can't, the way we are now." Luigi pointed out.

"So what do you suggest?" Mario wondered, looking to Luigi.

His pupils narrowed when he saw Luigi holding his trusty Ultra Hammer, the ultimate hammer from _Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga_.

"No... No! NO!!" Mario angrily protested, shaking his head. "NO, NO, NO, NO, NOOO!!"

"Trust me, Mario, I don't want to do it, either, but we have no choice." Luigi pointed out. "Besides, we recovered pretty well from the trauma, right? What's one more hammer to the skull?"

"...three more weeks of therapy..." Mario said.

Out of nowhere, he pulled out his own Ultra Hammer. He looked at it regretfully. He didn't even know why he bought it along with him. All it did was brought back painful memories. So painful that he literally got a headache...

"We'll have to slam each other at the same time, so on my count, swing hard." Luigi commanded, rearing back his heavy, black-headed mallet.

Reluctantly, Mario did the same, sealing his eyes shut. He didn't want to see it coming.

"One... Two... THREE!" Luigi counted and they both swung down with all their might.

Both hammers connected with their targets flawlessly. As a result, Luigi was slammed into the ground with only the top of his hat poking out of the ground. Mario was still above ground, but he was now just a little bigger than an average mouse.

"Every time I do this, I always worry about my spine. Having it compressed this tightly can't possibly be healthy." Mario worried.

"And breathing in vast amounts of dirt is?" Luigi's muffled voice said under the ground. "The sooner we get through the hole, the sooner we can get back to normal."

The brothers both headed through the hole without a hitch. As soon as they both cleared the slight obstacle, Luigi jumped out of the dirt and slammed Mario with his hammer again, returning him to normal. Mario looked at his brother with malice as he held his head in pain.

"There's no other way to get you back to normal." Luigi shrugged.

Sighing, Mario looked at the new door in front of them. It was exactly like the door they saw with Link and Raznia. Mario raised his hand to the door and opened it the same way Raznia did. Both of them entered the new room and the door shut behind them.

"Okay, so now what?" Luigi asked.

Mario took a look at the map. The room they were in rhythmically flashed a bright turquoise. In two different rooms, there was a symbol that looked like a treasure chest.

"Check this out." Mario motioned Luigi to come and look at the map. "Most of the rooms are open, so it looks like we won't have to do too much to get to the Boss's room. The only thing we have to worry about is the two rooms have this mark on them." He said, pointing at the treasure chest mark. "I'm pretty sure we'll have to go there before we get to the Boss's room."

"Maybe not. Look at this symbol." Luigi pointed out

"It looks like a skull..." Mario said.

"I'll bet anything that that's the Boss's room. It's almost in the middle of those two rooms. We might only have to go through this room to get there." Luigi suggested, pointing at the treasure chest-marked room closest to them.

"You might be right..." Mario said. "That'd be quite the lucky break for us."

"Can I see that for a second?" Luigi asked, pointing at the map. Mario promptly handed it to him.

"Aww, those lucky fools!" Luigi exclaimed after studying the map for a while.

"What?" Mario wondered.

"Link and Raznia have a clear-cut path to the Boss's room! They don't have to go anywhere else! Their only obstacle is opening doors!" Luigi sighed. "I wish I was quicker on my feet. _I _could've been the one stuck on a clear-cut path with Raznia."

"Don't tell me your jealous." Mario said.

"It would've been perfect! You heard what she said: three weeks! But with all that alone-time we'd undoubtedly have--"

"Easy there, Casanova. No one likes a dweller." Mario said with a head-shake. "Trust me, I heard what she said, and to me, she sounded like was politely rejecting you. And I'm not saying this to get on your nerves. I'm just being honest. But believe me, everything else she said was sincere. You may not get her, but there are still other girls out there for you."

"...yeah." Luigi sighed. "She seems a lot more interested in another guy, anyway."

"Ah, you noticed." Mario said with an approving nod. "Well, hopefully he keeps his head on his shoulders. It'll be tough, though. She's powerful. And I don't mean just in strength."

"Good luck, Link." Luigi wished, looking in the direction he hoped Link was in.

* * *

How right he was. Link, alongside Raznia, were already in the room preceding Nightmare's chamber.

"That was quick." Link said.

"Yep." Raznia agreed. "So what should we do? Mario and Luigi might take a while to get here, and every second counts."

"I know... I still wanna wait for them, though. I said I would." Link said. "Besides, I have faith that the gods can hold their own for just a few more minutes."

"I have faith, too. I'm just worried. Nothing like this has ever happened before." She said.

"This is definitely crazy. Just try to keep you mind off of it for a little while." He suggested, finding a spot against a wall and sitting down. "This can be the calm before the storm, know what I mean?"

"Yeah. I guess we can use the rest. I know Nightmare isn't going to go easy on us." Raznia said, sitting right next to him. "I'm most worried about Nabi. I didn't even feel her essence when we got here. What if Nightmare--"

"Chill out, Raz." Link interrupted, turning to Raznia. "Nabooru might not even be fightin' Nightmare. She could be in the Chamber of Sages, lendin' her power to the gods. Either way, I know she's fine."

With a nod, Raznia felt a little more at ease after hearing Link's confident and comforting words. She decided to rest her head on Link's shoulder. Unlike the last time she did this, Link didn't unexpectedly get up. His heart did skip multiple beats, though.

"_She's an extremely pretty girl, and I can see her making you forget about Samus._"

Mario's words suddenly started echoing in his head.

_I'm not forgettin' about Samus. Why do I even feel so guilty? It's not like I'm doin' anythin' scandalous. We used to chill like this all the time, even when I was with Zelda._

Link glanced down at Raznia resting on his shoulder. She had her eyes closed.

_Mario's right, though: she is an extremely pretty girl. Nayru... since when was she so damn beautiful? Why am I bein' tempted like this? I seriously don't remember her bein' so pretty last time I saw her._

_"You didn't remember her at all until you saw her in Gerudo Valley." _A new voice spoke aloud inside Link's head.

Link literally shook as the voice took him by surprise. Raznia stirred and turned to Link.

"You alright?" She wondered.

"I'm cool. I was dozin' off and I thought I heard somethin'. Don't worry about it." Link assured her with a subtle smile.

Raznia smiled back and rested on Link's shoulder again.

_"__Good cover-up."_ The voice said.

_Who are you?_

_"Who am I... That kinda hurts. I've been a part of you ever since you were born."_

_That still doesn't tell me who you are._

_"Man... I'm your conscience! You know everyone has one, right?"_

_Yeah, but I never heard you talk so loud before. It sounds like you're right next to me._

_"I figured now is the perfect time to make myself heard. You got new powers and you seem to be having girl problems. I need to be more outspoken than ever before, don't you think?"_

_I guess that makes sense..._

_"Damn right, it does!"_

_Yeah, you're definitely my conscience._

_"Damn right, I am! So like I was saying: you didn't remember our shortie, Raznia, until she called your name in the fortress. Even when you went through your little reflection on past girls back in Mute City her name didn't even cross your mind."_

_I just never thought of her as a girl who wanted to get close. Me and her were just friends and I thought it'd never be more than that._

_"Looks like you thought wrong. She wants to be more than friends now."_

_We act like this all the time! I don't see how you and Mario think that Raz is tryin' to get next to me._

_"I don't see how you can be so oblivious! Have you noticed your right hand lately?"_

Link looked down to his hand. He was stunned to find Raznia's hand holding his tightly; quite possibly lovingly.

"_And I know you'd love to put your arm around her shoulder. You've been resisting the urge ever since she put her head down."_

_The only thing that's keepin' me from doin' that is Samus. She's my girl, not Raznia._

_"So tell her."_

_I will._

_"Now?"  
__  
When the time comes._

_"Alright. ...is that time now?"_

_Yo, just chill. I'll tell her when I need to tell her._

_"You need to tell her now."_

_I'll decide when I need to tell her._

_"Hmmm... You're feeling her as much as she's feeling you, aren't you?"_

_Ha..._

_"In some countries, 'ha' means 'yes'."_

_Which countries are you talking about?_

_"The ones where 'ha' means 'yes'. But don't change the subject. You're already on your way into rough seas and your relationship with Samus is barely a day old."  
_

_I keep tellin' you, man: we're not doin' anythin'. She's resting on my shoulder and holdin' my hand. That's it! What makes you think it's gonna get any more serious than that?_

_"Here's a short list of reasons: You and Raznia are all alone and definitely won't be interrupted for a while. Samus is a million light-years away from you and preoccupied with her own mission. And let's not forget your golden rule: what she don't know won't hurt her. There are more, but these are the top three reasons I see."_

_You know what you should do? Have a chat wit' my logic. He'll tell you I'm not gonna do anythin'. In fact, he wouldn't let me do anythin' like that._

_"Then let's put him to the test. Raznia's been calling you for a while."_

_Huh?_

"Link?" Raznia repeated for the fourth time, nudging his shoulder.

Looking like he just snapped out of a trance, Link turned to Raznia. "Yo." He finally replied, turning to Raznia.

"You okay? I called you, like, four or five times." She said.

"I'm good. Lost in my thoughts, I guess. Sorry." Link apologized.

"No biggie. I woulda gotten your attention one way or another." Raznia said with a mischievous smile.

"_I wonder what that's supposed to mean."_

_Nothin', and you know it._

Link smiled and let out a laugh as Raznia rested her head on his shoulder again.

"Link?" Raznia said.

"Yeah?" Link responded.

"How long have we known each other?" She wondered.

"I... don't really know..." He admitted. "...but I know we've known each other for a while now."

"Nabi introduced you to me when you came back to Gerudo Valley, back in the day. I think I was seventeen." She recounted. "I was so excited to meet you. And why wouldn't I be? You were the Hero of Time."

Link's theme song suddenly blared through the silent temple. Raznia glanced unsurely at Link.

"That happens sometimes." Link casually said.

"Anyway... When I first met you, I was floored. I thought you were really cute." Raznia bashfully smiled.

Link bowed his head a little and laughed. "I thought you were cool, too."

"Cool, but not cute." She said, rising off of Link's shoulder.

"You're readin' between the lines too much." Link sighed, attempting to derail Raznia's train of thought.

"No, I'm not. You don't have to lie to me, Link. I wasn't anything special back then." Raznia admitted. "Maybe I was kinda cute in the face, but there wasn't much to the rest of me. I was pretty skinny and I'm sure my black hair looked outta place since everyone else's was red. And I musta looked so worn-out and raggedy at the time. I just got through training when you came around."

"Well, as long as we're bein' honest, I thought you had a big head, too." Link teased.

Raznia replied with a playful shove. "Well, regardless, I musta made a good impression on you. You used to come by almost every week and we'd just hang out. You'd even help me out with my training."

"Hey, a girl doesn't need to be super-beautiful to get my attention. As long as she's cool, then it's all good." Link said.

"But that wasn't enough for me." Raznia shook her head. "I _wanted_ to be super-beautiful. I wanted more of your attention. The more we were together, the more I started to like you. I was falling hard for you. I had it so bad at one point; I used to have vivid dreams about us."

Link just sat there, stunned. Even with all the time they spent together, he would've never guessed she had such a strong flame for him.

"I was hoping you'd take a hint that I had feelings for you through the way I acted." Raznia continued. "I always looked for any reason to touch you or be close to you. I guess you just thought I was one of those touchy-feely girls."

He definitely did think that. At first, Link tried to keep his distance from Raznia because he was still with Zelda at the time. But once Link started feeling comfortable around her, he didn't mind.

"What sealed the deal was when I found out that you were already taken. And you weren't taken by just anyone: it was Princess Zelda who had you. Right there, I knew I was out of my league." She sighed.

"I never told you, though... How'd you find out?" Link wondered.

"C'mon, Link, I live in a woman-dominated society where gossip is the number one source of information." She reminded him. "I still can't believe I didn't find out sooner. I tried my best to hide my disappointment, but I guess you felt the awkward vibes. You started coming around less often, and, eventually, you just stopped visiting altogether. At first, I was depressed, but after a while, I convinced myself it was for the better. Being around you after I found out about Princess Zelda was such a big tease. It just drove me crazy.

"And you wanna know what's really ironic? Like, a month after you stopped coming around, puberty hit me, full force. I started looking like the way I do now. I remember how many heads I'd turn when I had to travel to Hyrule Castle Town. Even Nabi would say I'm more beautiful than her. I never took her seriously, but I definitely loved to here her say it. I thought she was prettier than Princess Zelda back then. In fact, I still do. Hearing her say I was beautiful meant so much to me. I also got really good with my scimitar. I'm sure I coulda beaten you in a spar."

Raznia then gave a bitter smile as she shook her head.

"I used to want to impress you so bad, but I had nothing to do it with. Then, when you left and I didn't sweat it so much, I suddenly got everything I needed to make you enamored with me."

"Fate is a bitch like that, sometimes." Link was able to utter.

"Yeah. Stupid Fate..." Raznia laughed a little. "We knew each other for almost a year, then we just dropped off the face of the planet for over a year. I just turned nineteen a few weeks ago. You wanna know what my birthday wish was?"

Link turned to her and swallowed hard. He had an idea of what it was...

"...to see me again?"

"No. I wished I had a million rupees." Raznia managed to say after fighting her giggling fits. "I don't believe in wishing other than the one wish you're granted by the Triforce. I have fun thinking of outrageous wishes that I know, or think, will never come true, though."

Link forced himself to laugh a little. He felt like an idiot.

"Aww, don't take it so hard, baby. You're just not the most important thing in my life." Raznia cooed as she pinched Link's cheek. "But really, I did think about you sometimes, and I wondered what you would've said if you were there that day. Needless to say, I was really surprised when I saw you back in the fortress. I wanted to faint; my heart was beating so fast. I played it pretty cool, though, right?" She asked with a slick smile.

"I gotta admit, you looked just as comfortable around me as when we used to hang out. ...only a lot sexier." Link added with a smirk.

"Yeah, I'm like wine." Raznia boasted with a laugh. "At first, I couldn't believe it was you. Other than the black tunic, I just felt like there was something... different about you. But the more I looked at you... the more we talked... the more I... touched you, the more I realized it really was you. And the more I realized it was you... the more those old feelings came back..."

"_You see?! DO YOU SEE?! Me and Mario aren't crazy! She LOVES you!"_

_Shut up..._

"Are you... still... with Princess Zelda?" Raznia hesitantly asked, fearful of the answer.

"No... not anymore." Link left it at that.

Upon those words, Raznia felt an unspeakable happiness swell in her heart. Her hold on Link's hand became a little tighter.

"Well... I just spilled my guts about how I feel about you." Raznia said. "Just so you know, I didn't tell you just because you might be single and there'd be a chance could be together. I told you because I just needed to tell you. It bothered me that you never knew. You're so oblivious." She teased as she knocked on his forehead. "I don't expect you to tell me how you feel in return. I'm just happy we can sit together like this. I'm just glad you know how I feel about you." She concluded as she rested on Link's shoulder once again.

_...wow. Wow, man. Just... wow. That... that might be the deepest thing I'll ever hear._

_"Without a doubt. I was this close to shedding a tear. I'm being honest."_

_Me, too._

_"So t__his is it, buddy. The moment of truth. She thinks you're single. Her feelings are out in the open and she's _very_ vulnerable. If you said the word, she'd be yours with no strings attached. The most beautiful type of relationship there is. What WILL gonna do? Are you gonna be thankful for what's already on your plate or are you gonna go for that second helping before you're done? And let me just remind you: you're getting fat."_

_I followed you until you started with the food metaphors... But seriously... to be honest: I don't know what to do. I really do love Samus... but all this time I'm spendin' with Raz... I'm startin' to love her, too. And believe it or not, it's not her beauty that did it. I _know_ this girl. She's so cool, it's not fair. This is the type of girl you search tirelessly for, but never find. And _she_ found _me_. Is Nayru trying to tell me something? _

_"That you made the wrong choice?"_

_I don't wanna think so. Samus is a great girl. Maybe one of the greatest girls I've ever known. And after tryin' so hard to get her... harder than I've tried with any girl before, I got her. Damnit, Nayru, why are you doin' this? Why is this so unfair? Why can't I have both of them?_

_"Why _can't_ you have both of them?"_

_...what?_

_"You heard me."_

_Because... it's not right._

_"Says who?"_

_Alright, __what would you do?_

_"The truth?"  
__  
That's all I'll accept._

_"I'd take her. All I see are green lights."_

_Huh... That wasn't the answer I was expectin'. I thought you were the good conscience. If fact, aren't there supposed to be two of you?_

_"Pah... Whoever started that rumor needs to be killed. There only one conscience and it's supposed to make you consider both sides of a situation: good and bad."_

_Ah ha... But all you made me consider was the good stuff._

_"Because you're with two _good _girls. Besides, I don't need to tell you what'll happen if they ever find out about each other. They're also _really _good at what they do, if you catch my drift. But still, the final choice is all yours.__ What's it gonna be?"  
_

_The truth?_

_"I expect nothing less."_

Link looked at a resting Raznia on his shoulder. She looked so peaceful. So beautiful... His heart fluttered a bit. At that moment, he knew. He wrapped her in his arms.

_Let's just say I'm still hungry._

* * *

Mario and Luigi finally made it to their first destination. Not only that, but they were in the middle of solving a puzzle.

A life-or-death puzzle.

"WHAAAH!!" Luigi shouted as he dodged the charge of a large, possessed hand; a Floormaster.

Mario shot several fireballs at the hand to avert its attention. It spun around on it's thumb and jumped at Mario. He used his cape to flip its direction and slammed it with his Ultra Hammer. The hand collapsed and lied lifelessly on the ground.

"Whew..." Luigi sighed, exhaustedly falling on his back. "Those flaming bats were nothing, but that living hand was too much! And I thought Crazy Hand was creepy... Link's quests aren't as easy as we thought."

"Yeah, we should apologize." Mario admitted. "So now what? The door's still locked."

"There's more to the puzzle. But all these enemies keep coming. How can we solve it if we're constantly fighting?" Luigi wondered.

"Maybe we have to defeat all the enemies to go further. But if that's the case, why are we still here? That hand was the last guy, wasn't it?" Mario said, turning to the defeated monster.

Much to his dismay, it wasn't there anymore.

"Where the hell is that hand...?" Mario uneasily asked.

Suddenly, he felt like he was heavily shoved to the ground. Something that felt like a hand on his head was trying to grind his face into the ground.

"Mario!" Luigi shouted, jumping to his feet.

Right at that moment, two smaller Floormasters, similar to the bigger one they fought before, attacked him. One jumped at his throat while the other one punched him in the stomach.

Mario was able to flip onto his back and slam the back of his head into the floor, stunning the hand behind him. He grabbed it by one of the fingers and hurled it at a nearby wall. After it bounced off and hit the floor, Mario showered the possessed appendage with a hail of fireballs, singeing the monster to death.

He turned back to his struggling brother, who managed to get one of the Floormasters off his neck, but was now trying to fend off their relentless ram attacks. Finding the perfect moment, Mario launched off his right foot and landed directly on one of the monsters, flattening it and rendering it lifeless.

Luigi took care of the second Floormaster. When it tried for one more ram attack, Luigi ducked, leaving the monster to fly behind him. That's when he whipped out his own Ultra Hammer, and assumed a batter's stance. The Floormaster heaved it's body at him once again, but this was the worst decision it could've made. Luigi swung hard and connected flawlessly with the airborne monster, easily pulverizing it on impact.

Breathing hard, Luigi let the hammer fall on its head and he leaned tiredly on the stick with his eyes closed. Mario leaned on his knees to take a breather as well. These monsters had a lot more endurance than anything they'd typically face in the Mushroom Kingdom.

As Mario was resting, a dark shadow slowly began to grow over him. He didn't notice it, and if a low, wind-swept groan didn't echo through the air, he never would've. As soon as he heard the sound, another hand, a Wallmaster this time, grabbed him by the head and started rising upward.

Hearing Mario's muffled screams, Luigi's eyes darted over to Mario. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Immediately springing into action, Luigi acrobatically catapulted himself off his hammer and flew high above the Wallmaster, with his head almost touching the ceiling. He then put his feet together and guided himself right on top of the hand-creature. He landed on it with excellent force and launched himself into the air after impact.

Mario landed clumsily on his feet and fell over. The Wallmaster landed on its back. It frantically wiggled its fingers in order to try to flip itself back upright. Unfortunately for the monster, Luigi came crashing down on it, landing in the palm of the "hand" and crushing its innards. The Wallmaster was finished.

Suddenly, the classic _Legend of Zelda_ "solve a puzzle" chime rang throughout the air. In the corner of the room, a large treasure chest materialized.

"I think we're done. The key to the door should be in that chest." Mario said.

"That's so great. I don't know how much more fighting I could do." Luigi sighed, heading toward the chest.

Mario followed along. "You won't last long against Nightmare if this is your limit."

They stood in front of the closed chest.

"Well, here we go." Mario said.

The typical chest opening sequence commenced. When Mario opened the chest, a bright, golden glow shined from the inside while the mysterious "what's inside the box" theme played. Mario reached inside the chest and dipped his hands in, picking up the contents. The music came to an apex. Mario faced Luigi.

"What is it?" He wondered.

Triumphant music sounded as Mario raised his hands and displayed the contents of the chest: a blue rupee.

"...that's it?" Luigi muttered, thinking this was some type of joke.

"That's it." Mario replied, not bothering to indulge in his incredulity.

"Let me see something..." Luigi said, taking a peek into the treasure chest.

Completely empty. The only thing inside the chest was empty space.

"Something's wrong. This can't be it. We didn't risk our lives for nothing." Luigi said.

Mario decided to take a gander at the dungeon map, just to make sure they didn't miss anything.

"I don't see anything we missed. So now what?" Mario wondered.

Luigi motioned for the map. He took it from Mario and studied it for a second. From time to time, he'd look up from the map to a certain spot on the wall.

"According to the map, there's a hidden room here." Luigi realized.

"How do you know?" Mario asked.

"See this?" Luigi pointed at an extra block connected to the room they were standing in. "This is what gave it away."

"How do we find it?" Mario inquired.

"We don't have to find it. I know where it is. Check out that wall over there." Luigi pointed out.

The wall was riddled with cracks and seemed to be significantly weaker than the rest of the foundation.

"Ah, I see. I guess our hammers should take care of that wall." Mario suggested, whipping out his trusty mallet.

"Let's go for it." Luigi picked up his hammer and reared it back. "Count of three."

"One... two... three!" The brothers counted together and slammed the wall forcefully with their Ultra Hammers.

Surprisingly, the wall didn't falter. Loose, crumbled stone fragments flew out of the wall, but it still held strong.

"Someone just doesn't want us to succeed." Luigi sighed. "We might need bombs for this. But I have no idea where to find them around here..."

"Let me try one more thing." Mario said. "Oh, and stand back a little."

Luigi did so as Mario moved behind him. In the meantime, Luigi tried to think of every single other way for them to get through the wall. He was at a loss for creativity, though; everything he thought of involved some sort of explosive. He even considered a Green Missile, but he wasn't in the mood for any more head trauma. He continued to stand there, tapping his feet impatiently.

That is, until a sudden burning sensation forced a pained yelp and a surprised hop from him. Luigi mindlessly charged into the crumbling wall; running so fast, he broke a hole through the wall and slammed into the stronger wall behind it. Mario casually strolled in behind as Luigi fanned the flames away.

"I figured out a way to break through the wall." Mario said.

"You could've given me a warning or something..." Luigi said.

"I told you to stand back, didn't I?" Mario reminded.

Luigi just shook his head, annoyed. Mario smiled back as he faced a small treasure chest. He kicked the keyhole and the top creaked opened. Mario held his hands up triumphantly as a victorious fanfare played. A small, silver key twinkled above him.

"Good. Now we can get out of here." Luigi said.

"We're taking a lot longer to get to the Boss's room than I thought we would. I know Link and Raznia are real close to Nightmare by now." Mario stated. "I should've told him to go on without us. I feel like we don't have that much time left until Nightmare gets too powerful to fight."

* * *

"Can you feel that? Nightmare's power just jumped." Raznia warned.

"We can't wait for them anymore. Let's go." Link suggested.

Both of them rose to their feet and headed toward the final hallway before the Boss's chamber. As they got closer, the air started to feel more dense and heavy. It was like the air was saturated with Nightmare's power. Link started to feel doubtful, even with his newfound power. He didn't think these souls from the Spirit Temple would increase Nightmare's strength by so much.

He opened the door to the final hallway. He stood in the doorway for a second.

"What are we waiting for?" Raznia wondered.

"I'm actually a little worried." Link admitted. "Nightmare is so serious right now."

"As long as we work together, we'll be fine, right?" Raznia optimistically said, grasping Link's hand.

"Raz... I know you're strong, but I don't think you're strong _enough_. I don't even think _I'm_ strong enough. I want you to stay out here and wait for Mario and Luigi." Link said.

Raznia gradually relinquished her hold on Link's hand. "You're serious?"

"Serious as a heart attack." Link replied. "Think about it. We _just_ got together. By the time we start fightin' Nightmare, we will have been together for a grand total of maybe ten minutes. I don't want this to be the shortest relationship I've ever been in. I'd feel a lot better if you just stayed out here."

Raznia just stared at him. "I hope you don't think that just because you're my boyfriend means I'm gonna suddenly listen. I told you before we left: I was gonna face Nightmare with or without you."

"Just listen to me, please. He's incredibly strong right now." Link sighed before he spoke his next sentence. "Please don't take this as an insult. I might be able to go toe-to-toe with him and edge out, but if you're in there too, you're gonna get in the way."

Against Link's hopes, Raznia looked hurt. She definitely took that as an insult.

"Look, I'll make it up to you when I get back." Link promised. "You heard me? I'm comin' back. That's a promise. Just wait for me."

Link caressed her cheek, then turned to walk down hallway leading to possibly the biggest battle he'd ever be in. The door promptly slammed closed behind him. As he got closer to the huge, heavy door separating him and Nightmare, he started psyching himself up for the battle.

"_Do you really believe you're coming outta this alive?"_

_Of course! I'll admit: I'm more afraid to fight Nightmare now than I was when I first fought Ganondorf. But I know I'm comin' out of this alive. I shoulda died when Dark Link stabbed me, but I'm still here, right? I was meant to succeed._

_"I like the confidence. Well, if this can add to it, I'll try to help, too."_

_It does. Thanks. Between the two of us, the only way I'll die is of natural causes._

_"...I don't think getting mutilated by your girlfriend(s) counts as anything natural."_

_They won't find out! What they don't know won't hurt 'em, right? I thought I had your blessin'!_

_"I just said I'd take her. I didn't expect you to follow my example! You shouldn't have; I'm a bad influence."_

_...you know you're my conscience, right? That's not--_

Link stopped mid-thought when he heard the door behind him rise open. He didn't turn around, but he knew exactly who it was.

"Go back, Raz." Link ordered.

"You don't want me to go in there because you're afraid of me getting hurt. Don't you think I'm scared for you, too? I want to be in there with you." Raznia said.

"You don't gotta worry about that. I'm gonna come out fine." Link reassured her.

"And I'm gonna make sure of it. I'm still coming and I don't care what you say. I _know_ I'll be able to help somehow." Raznia said.

Link sighed. "Raz, listen to me, I don't want you to get hurt. Just wait out--"

Link poorly overestimated the distance between himself and Raznia. Just as soon as he held his hand out as a halt sign, he suddenly found his hand full. ...of her ample bosom.

_"__Score."_

_I didn't do that on purpose!_

An awkward and embarrassed silence followed. Raznia just stood there, shocked, as Link still kept his hand firmly in place.

_"__Are you keeping your hand there because you're stunned, or is it because you're enjoying it? I can't tell."_

_Neither can I..._

"Raznia..." Link swallowed hard, trying to collect himself. "I just want you to know that this is completely unintentional. Definitely _not_ what I had planned..."

"I believe you." Raznia replied, her voice a little shaky. "Whenever you're ready, you can let go..."

Link quickly released his hold as they both blushed profusely, turning away from each other.

_"__Soft, huh?"_

_Like a cucco-down pillow. I'm never washin' this hand again._

"I hope you're not still planning to tell me to wait outside after that little mishap. You owe me big time, mister." Raznia said.

"You probably had that planned from the beginnin'." Link muttered.

"I'm not _that_ flirtatious." Raznia said. "Come on."

They stood in front of the huge door. They were faced with two choices now: they could give up before they even start and spend their last moments together before Hyrule faced its inevitable demise, or they could step through the door and put their all into saving the land they love.

"Open sesame." Link commanded as the door rose open.

Link and Raznia glanced at each other briefly. Link broke the glance and was about to walk into the room, but Raznia pulled him back by the arm. Link wondered what this was all about, but understood immediately when he felt Raznia's lips pressed against his.

_"__Score."_

_Stop sayin' that!_

After that passionate exchange, Raznia held his hand as they walked into the Boss's room together. The room had an eerie green glow. They were at the base of a tall pillar. Above them, they could see the base of the giant green beam of light they saw shooting out of the top of the Spirit Temple. Without a doubt, Nightmare was there.

Suddenly, the door slammed shut behind them. This startled them because it was so loud. They knew Nightmare was aware of their presence. The sound of chains could be heard outside of the door, too. They were locked in.

"Damnit... Mario and Luigi..." Link murmured.

"They'll find a way in." Raznia assured him.

They then climbed the side of the pillar to the top. The first thing they noticed, and perhaps the thing that surprised them the most, was that the Soul Edge was the source of the beam of light. It was floating by itself in the air as the beam shot out from the tip of the living blade. It had its eyes closed, as if it was concentrating.

Below the levitated blade, Nightmare, himself, was on his knees with his arms out and his back to him. Surrounding him was a strange aura. Nothing that could be seen, but it could be felt.

And the feeling was frightening. It was almost physically constricting. Link wanted to summon his sword and shield right there, but he felt like his arms were being weighed down. Even so, he managed to call his weaponry and prepared himself, as Raznia unsheathed her scimitar and dagger and did the same.

There was a short silence. Gradually, they heard a mocking laughter. A raspy and rough laughter was coming from Nightmare.

"More souls..." He rasped, still on his knees.

"Do you understand what you're doing?" Raznia demanded.

"Must return... the power of... Soul Edge..." Nightmare breathed out slowly. "Soon... all will know... the greatest nightmare..."

"He's being controlled by Soul Edge. It knows it's only as powerful as the person who wields it." Link said. "If we murk Soul Edge, we can stop Nightmare."

"Fools... Do you want to die that badly?" Nightmare asked, rising to his feet.

He threw out his right, mutated arm. In a flash of power, the room lost its green tint and looked normal. The constricting feeling had also dispersed. Soul Edge had finally opened its eyes and glared at Raznia and Link. It slowly floated into Nightmare's opened hand with the beam of light shooting from the tip gradually fading away.

Once the sword was in his hand, Nightmare slightly turned. He glared at Link and Raznia with his menacing bloodshot eyes.

"Offer... your souls." Nightmare demanded.

"Never." Link and Raznia refused.

"Then perish." Nightmare growled as a green aura flowed from the Soul Edge to Nightmare's body.

Right there, Link's shield opened its eye as wide as possible...


	26. Only the Beginning: Part 4

**Act 10****: **_**Only the Beginning**_ (Part 4)

She was left astonished by how fiercely their swords clashed against each other. She could feel the unbridled rage in their attacks. She could sense the energy they poured into their bout. For loss of better words, it was breathtaking.

Two of the greatest Hylian warriors that ever lived were deadlocked in a battle that would decide the fate of the land. They fought without reserve: putting every ounce of themselves into every blow, shouting in seething rage with every swing. Only one would walk out of this fight alive.

As Link and Ganondorf strove to destroy one other, trapped on a plot of land surrounded by boiling lava underneath Ganondorf's castle, Zelda helplessly watched on from the mainland. She knew she'd be losing a friend after all was said and done, but the truly depressing fact was that regardless of which one won, she would be left alone.

She knew Link wouldn't want anything to do with her. All ten years of their deep friendship was shattered because of her unspeakable actions. Zelda had absolutely no hope of making amends no matter what she did. The wound left in Link's heart was too deep.

Ganondorf wouldn't want her, either. This was not the Ganondorf she had come to know. This was not the Ganondorf she and Link had become friends with. This wasn't even the slang-talking Ganondorf she became so familiar with as of late. This was the Ganondorf that mercilessly ruled Hyrule with an iron fist, so long ago. This was the Ganondorf that didn't care about anything but himself and his conquest for total domination.

She killed the Link that loved her and the Ganondorf that she befriended had died. There was no one left.

All Zelda wanted was for things to go back to the way they were before; when all of them were close. She wanted it so bad that she was willing to do _anything_.

Including sleeping with Ganondorf...

What she naively hoped to gain from that was Ganondorf's word that he would put a stop to this menacing ways permanently. Unfortunately, her plan violently backfired when Link called. Ganondorf forced her to pick up the phone, as if he knew exactly who was calling. And in the end, Zelda was left alone in her room, crying and reflecting on all she had just lost: her purity, her dignity, Link's love, and any chance there was at things going back to the way they used to be.

The more Zelda thought about this, the more sorrowful she grew. And with that growing sorrow came a growing anger; anger from wondering why things had to be this way; anger from wondering why the Goddesses would allow something as perfect as their mutual friendship to be destroyed.

It angered her so much, that she could feel it taking form inside of her. She could feel it taking _over_ her. Her legs began to feel weak as she slowly drooped to the floor.

She could feel a physical change. Her eyes burned. Her head felt like it was on fire. Every muscle in her body ached. Her heart rate quickened, almost to a painful rate. It was unlike anything she had felt before. She wanted to scream, but her constricted throat wouldn't allow it.

Suddenly, there was a powerful flash of light. It was so bright; it even caused Link and Ganondorf to temporarily cease their battle to the death. As it dispersed, she felt herself on her feet again. But they didn't feel like _her_ feet. She felt like she was literally standing in someone else's shoes. She tried to look down at her feet, only to find out she had no control over her body, although she could still see through the eyes.

When the light cleared, Link resumed his onslaught by thrusting his Master Sword towards Ganondorf's chest. With his battle-savvy sixth sense, Ganondorf led his Rune Blade to parry the attack and return a counter-slash.

Zelda then watched helplessly as she felt her new body suddenly jump into the fray. Just as Link's and Ganondorf's swords met with each other, sparks flying as soon as the opposing blades met, a chain whip suddenly wrapped itself around the swords and viciously yanked them out of their owners' hands. She watched as her former friends stared at her like an intruder. Suddenly, the Triforce of Courage in Link's hand began to glow intensely, as did Ganondorf's Triforce of Power. Zelda felt her hand rise, with her own piece of the Triforce shining just as brightly as the others.

Immediately, she realized what had happened. And upon that realization, the three Triforced hands balled up into fists and sailed forcefully and powerfully into each other. A thunderous crack was emitted when the fists made contact, then a blinding, threatening light consumed all vision...

With a startled shake and a frightened shriek, Zelda finally opened her eyes. Her heart was pounding and she found herself hyperventilating. She tried to rise out of her bed to her feet, but was tangled up in her blankets. After a bit of struggling to free herself, she rose up and sat on the edge of her bed, thinking about what this all meant. The last time she had such an intense dream was before Ganondorf took over Hyrule. She dreamed she had to escape the walls of Hyrule Castle because Ganondorf would pursue the Ocarina of Time, in order to enter the Sacred Realm and make a wish on the Triforce.

And soon, that dream became a reality...

Her heart sunk as she came to a chilling realization. If what she dreamt came true, Hyrule would be in true danger. She believed this premonition signified the destruction of the Triforce. And this would be happening very soon.

The Triforce served as a bond between the three Goddesses: Din, Nayru, and Farore, and Hyrule, the land they created. If the Triforce was destroyed, Hyrule's bond with the gods would be destroyed as well, leaving it with no divine protection, and quickly plunging it into an endless and inescapable Age of Darkness infinitely worse than anything imaginable.

As much as Zelda didn't want Ganondorf in power, she knew it wasn't worth the Triforce's destruction to overthrow him. She figured if she told him about her grim premonition, she might be able to avoid this fate.

_And with Ganondorf..._

He, Bowser, and Donkey Kong were all comfortably seated in the entertainment room in front of a 60-inch HDTV. They passed a large bowl of popcorn around as they watched and waited for the start of the main event: Link vs. Nightmare.

"I shoulda set up a screen in Kakariko Villiage and charged for viewin'. I mean, godamn, this match is gonna be fuckin' serious! People woulda been talkin' 'bout this one for years and years, my man!" Ganondorf said, obviously looking forward to a true slobber-knocker.

The three watched as Nightmare and Link, with Raznia by his side, glared at each other intensely with their weapons drawn.

"I say Nightmare's gonna win. That girl is gonna be Link's weakness. I can tell she's nowhere near Link and Nightmare's level. She's gonna screw up and get herself into some real, possibly life-threatening trouble. Then Link's gonna let his emotions blind him and he's gonna screw up, too, and possibly get himself killed. Or maybe maimed at the very least." Bowser speculated, stuffing his face with a fistful of popcorn in the middle of his statement. "It's the typical good-guy flaw."

"No... Having his comrades in danger only increases his odds of winning." DK disagreed. "From what I understand, heroes usually gain an unbelievable amount of power when they have to rescue someone or something. I've even seen it first hand. Diddy and his companion, Dixie, overcame incredible and nigh impossible odds to save me from King K. Rool. And I, myself, have achieved astonishing feats in order to save my precious banana hoard. And I'm sure you both know from experience; it's usually very common for good to triumph over evil."

"Hey, no one asked for your opinion, DK." Bowser stated in a blatant and unnecessarily rude tone.  
"Excuse me for offering an intelligent explanation..." DK sarcastically muttered.

"Calm yo' ass down, B-Boss." Ganondorf stated. "DK's right. Link's gonna take this match."

Bowser's eyebrows furrowed as he forced himself not to grit his teeth in anger.

"You're agreeing with this dumbass?" Bowser asked, trying (not very hard) to hide his anger.

"Spare me the juvenile insults, Bowser." DK sighed, sounding unaffected and unimpressed by Bowser's words. "Besides, I never said Link will win. All I said was that his chances of winning will be greater if any of his friends are in danger."

"Whatever, but I've known from the get-go that Link's gonna take this match." Ganondorf stated. "I told y'all this before: my plan ain't to murk Link right off the bat. My plan's to embarrass the shit outta him, _then_ murk him. I want the sole honor of beatin' his ass into oblivion. All Nightmare's supposed to do is weaken him."

Bowser simply grunted as he angrily continued chomping down popcorn. "Nightmare's gonna end up winning. You'll see."

"Yo, you better save some for the match. The damn thing didn't even start yet." Ganondorf said.

Suddenly, they all heard the door open. They quickly spun their heads around and saw Zelda standing in the doorway.

"Princess Zelda!" DK exclaimed, happy to see her. "How are you?"

"As well as I can be..." Zelda vaguely stated.

DK's happy smile slowly faded away upon hearing Zelda's words, replaced by a solemn look accompanied by a slow, understanding nod.

"I'm sorry for being so vague, but I don't have time to explain." She then looked to Ganondorf. "Ganondorf and I need to speak."

"No, we don't." Ganondorf refused, not even looking back at Zelda.

"Yes, we do. This is important." Zelda insisted.

DK looked back at Zelda and saw the seriousness in her eyes.

"I think you should speak with the princess. There's an amazing urgency in her expression." He said.

With an aggravated groan, Ganondorf sluggishly began rising to his feet. Just as he was about to take one step towards Zelda, he saw Bowser out of the corner of his eye, mimicking whipping motions and silently laughing to himself.

"Bowser, don't even try that shit. At least I'm not scared of the girl I kidnapped." Ganondorf said, glaring at Bowser.

That quickly wiped the smirk off Bowser's face. He looked as if he was about to reply, but decided against it. Ganondorf would definitely have a reply for anything he said.

Ganondorf then plopped back down into his seat, looking as if he wasn't budging for anything.

"Ganondorf! Why are you being so difficult?!" Zelda angrily snapped.

"First off, don't _ever_ raise your voice at me. I have no problems smackin' loud-mouthed divas around." Ganondorf stated. "Second, whatever you gotta say can be said right here, right now. So state yo' biz and be out."

Zelda was hurt by Ganondorf's harsh words. She almost wanted to leave and let Ganondorf find out the hard way what would happen to him. But this wasn't the time to be spiteful. Too many people's lives were at risk.

"I don't think you understand the severity of what I need to say to you. I had a premonition, and believe me when I say our futures are looking very bleak." Zelda said. "_All_ of our futures."

"Just what do you mean by 'all'?" Bowser wondered.

"This premonition involves everyone in Hyrule, including you and Donkey Kong." Zelda explained.

"Mmm-hmmm..." Bowser nodded, showing he understood clearly. "You know, Ganondorf... Maybe you should listen to what she has to say."

"I'm listenin'. All this girl has to do is talk." Ganondorf suggested.

"I would like to 'talk' privately." Zelda replied, aggravated.

"Godamnit..." Ganondorf groaned. "Aight, DK, B-Boss, y'all are gonna have to roll."

"What?!" Bowser shouted. "I'm not going anywhere!"

"My house, my rules. You gotta go." Ganondorf said.

"I'm not missing the first punch." Bowser defied.

"Listen to reason, Bowser: the sooner we leave, the sooner Zelda and Ganondorf can speak with each other." DK reasoned. "And the sooner they speak, the sooner we can return."

"See, DK knows the deal. I'm startin' to think I shoulda collaborated wit' him instead of you, Bowser." Ganondorf said.

Seething with rage, Bowser dug his nails into the leather couch he was sitting in, piercing the material and essentially ruining the chair. With that, he rose to his feet and angrily walked out, angrily shoving the door as DK followed him. Zelda promptly shut the door.

"What a bastard..." Ganondorf sighed, looking to the damage Bowser had done. "Aight, shortie, make it quick. Looks like Link's gonna swing any second." He stated, now staring at the wide-screen monitor.

Zelda took a look at the TV screen. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw Link in fighting position. But what surprised her even more was his attire. The last time she saw him, he was wearing his trademark green Kokiri tunic and wielded his usual Master Sword and Hylian Shield. Even in her dream, she saw Link the same exact way. Upon seeing Link in his new gear, she began to doubt if what she saw would actually come true.

"Well? What the hell do you want?" Ganondorf demanded, growing impatient and finally turning back to glare at Zelda.

Zelda quickly turned to Ganondorf and stared at him. The Ganondorf in her dream and the Ganondorf she was speaking to now were two completely different people: one vilely despicable and merciless without a shadow of a doubt, and one still evil, but significantly less abhorrent than the other; this one actually showed he had some type of heart. Zelda couldn't think of anything that would suddenly force Ganondorf to change back to his old ways. If Ganondorf were to change, the warning signs would've been painstakingly clear by now.

Suddenly, her premonition didn't feel so urgent anymore. The event she prophesied would have to happen exactly how it occurred in her dream. Link, a major factor in her dream, didn't look exactly how she thought he would. And she knew Ganondorf wouldn't be as she viewed him in her dream, either.

"I... I think I overreacted. It... was not as important as I thought. I'm sorry." Zelda muttered.

Ganondorf just stared at her with a look of confusion. He knew it wasn't like Zelda to act the way she was acting now. Something was definitely up. He rose out of his seat and walked up to her.

"You can't be actin' like you were and then suddenly say it's not important. That's a damn lie, and you know it." Ganondorf stated.

Zelda still looked reluctant to talk, trying her best to avoid eye contact.

"Listen..." Ganondorf began with a sigh, turning her face to his. "You got my attention, so just tell me what you were gonna say." He said, almost sounding concerned in his own way.

Concerned about me or concerned about himself, she thought, immediately turning away. But suddenly, she felt two hands hold her shoulders. Surprised by this gesture, she looked up into Ganondorf's eyes. Sincerity, probably for the first time ever, in Ganondorf's eyes is what she saw. There was no doubt that Ganondorf was concerned for himself, but it actually seemed like he was concerned about what Zelda felt as well. For a split-second, she saw the Ganondorf she became friends with. But even still, Zelda did not want to say anything about what she dreamed about.

"It... It's nothing! Truly!" Zelda assured him once again, breaking the hold and quickly leaving the room.

Ganondorf was left even more confused than before. He headed back to his seat and plopped himself onto the cushion, leaning over and stroking his chin in deep thought as Bowser and DK cautionsly made their way back into the room. A few seconds of silence passed by. DK and Bowser knew that Ganondorf was in deep thought over something what had just happened between him and Zelda, but didn't know what to say.

Finally, Bowser broke the silence.

"So... what'd Zelda say?" He said, straight to the point.

Ganondorf slowly turned to him and stared. The silence and the stern look he wore on his face had Bowser slightly on edge.

"Nothin'..." Ganondorf finally said. "Abso-fuckin'-lutely nothin'. First, she runs in here screamin' 'we're all in danger' or some blasphemous shit like that, then she's suddenly silent, like she don't wanna talk. What the fuck, man?" He wondered, obviously upset. "I even tried lookin' sincere for this broad, like I really cared. _Even_ held her by the shoulders and looked her in the eye! I went the whole nine, my man, and I still got nothin'."

DK simply shrugged while Bowser let out a sigh while slowly shaking his head.

"I dunno. I mean, I know girls are _always_ incredibly nonsensical, but what Zelda just pulled is ridiculous. Maybe she's on her period or something." Bowser guessed.

"I jus' don't understand these bitches, man..." Ganondorf sighed.

"Women... The eternal enigma..." DK stated.

* * *

"Finally..." Mario sighed, relieved as he checked the dungeon map.

"So this is the boss's room?" Luigi wondered.

"Almost. This is the door to the hallway _leading_ to the boss's room." Mario corrected.

"You think we should wait for Link and Raznia?" Luigi suggested. "Just in case they somehow fell behind..."

"I seriously doubt that. We saw the path they had. They probably went ahead to meet Nightmare without us." Mario guessed.

"Yeah, that's probably more likely... Well, let's go verify that." Luigi said.

They opened the door and stepped into the hallway leading to the final room of the dungeon. But as soon as they stepped through the doorway, they stopped dead in their tracks with a deep frustration growing within them.

"Chains... and a keyhole..." Mario muttered as he stared at the door down the hall.

Luigi just closed his eyes and let out a long, disappointed sigh. "I know I should be used to disappointment by now, but I still feel angry every time something like this happens. Why can't anything ever be simple with us? Maybe if someone told me why, I wouldn't be so mad anymore."

"I doubt we'll ever find out why. Let's just focus on how we're getting in." Mario said.

"We'll have to find a key. Probably a different key from that small one we found earlier." Luigi speculated.

Mario whipped out the dungeon map. "How much would you bet that the key is in this room?" He said, pointing to the room they earlier thought they could avoid completely.

"Errrmmm, I'm not into betting, but I doubt it's in that room." Luigi disagreed. "It's probably in a secret room like that last key was."

"They can't do that! That's the boss's key! It's too important." Mario argued.

"All the more reason to hide it in a secret place." Luigi said.

"Alright, I guess we'll see when we get there." Mario said and led the way to the next room.

As he and his brother walked toward their destination, Mario started to think about how he changed during the journey. Pessimism was his forte in the beginning of this whole ordeal. He expected one horrible thing after another. As he and Link, and soon Luigi, got further along, they still went through their trials and tribulations, but they always managed to get out of it fine, and sometimes stronger than before. Thinking about all the times he and his crew should've been annihilated but still made it through kept him going and kept him growing more and more optimistic.

But growing at an equal rate was Luigi's pessimism. At first, Mario truly did believe it was an act he was putting on, but the time they spent just trying to survive showed that Luigi's outlook really was changing, despite the fact that he was so positive about everything in the beginning. He even said so himself when they first arrived in Hyrule:

_It's hard to stay optimistic when crap like this happens all the time._

Mario definitely knew the feeling, and he couldn't blame him. He figured he should have a brother-to-brother talk with him when he got a chance, if not to save his optimism, then his sanity at least.

Finally, they made it to the door leading the room they were looking for. Getting in might prove to be a challenge, though. There seemed to be some sort of statue positioned right in front of the door.

"Wow, this is obvious. I almost positive that that thing will spring to life if we try to move it." Luigi said.

The statue wielded a small sword and shield, and had two horns on either side of its head. Other than the hands it had to hold its weaponry, it didn't really seem to have any other appendages. Its body just seemed to be one oval-shaped mass.

"Well, I doubt there's any other way." Mario said.

Warily, he neared the seemingly lifeless statue. It continued to remain motionless despite the fact that Mario was less than an arm's length from it now. He slowly lifted his arms up and was about to place his hands on the statue. Wiggling his fingers, he gently placed both hands on the smooth, stone body of the statue.

There was a sudden sound, like something heavy just tried moving across the floor.

He jumped back and glared at the statue. Still motionless... He looked to Luigi. The bottom of Luigi's foot scraped the sandstone floor; making the same sound he heard when he touched the statue.

It was just Luigi, Mario thought.

He went back to the statue and ignored all caution, placing his hands right on the statue's side. Thankfully, the statue remained still. Mario proceeded in pushing it out of the way. Even as he pushed it aside, he couldn't shake that uncomfortable feeling he was having. The statue felt warm for some reason...

"There. Nothing to worry about." Mario said, ignoring his suspicions.

"It didn't come alive. I guess we do get a break, sometimes." Luigi said, walking toward the door and promptly opened it.

As soon as the door was completely opened, a giant, double-sided iron ax fell heavily to the ground, partially burying one side in sand. Luckily, Luigi wasn't touched by the ax at all. Reacting quicker than he ever had before, he dove to the side before it could cleave him in two.

Hearing the metal clang against the sand, Mario spun around just in time to see the blade being lifted out of the sand. What lifted the blade, though, made Mario gasp in shock.

A living suit of armor wielding that heavy weapon with one hand stepped though the door. It swung the axe from one hand to another and buried the hatchet right into the wall beside him. Where Luigi's head was...

Or would've been if he didn't throw himself to the ground and roll away from immediate harm.

Suddenly, the door behind the iron-clad menace slammed shut and steel bars covered the door. The entrance of the room Mario and Luigi were currently also had bars that denied entry or exit. The enemy known as the Iron Knuckle raised its ax above its head and yelled some type of battle cry, menacingly walking toward a still-shocked Mario.

The brothers knew that one way or another, this was going to be a quick fight.

* * *

"Here we go! Nightmare's makin' moves!" Ganondorf exclaimed. "And pass the godamn popcorn, B-Boss."

Bowser reluctantly gave up the bowl, but not before grabbing a final fistful, as the three edged closer to the TV as they watched Nightmare take the offensive.

**A crescent-shaped spirit wave was sent at the defending couple. The wave screamed like a hundred tormented souls, emitting a sound too painful to the ear.**

**Link only had enough time to pull Raznia close to him and take cover behind his shield. The spirit wave slammed against Link's shield with horrendous force, causing the eye of the shield flinch, shutting tight momentarily. Link and Raznia were sent flying almost off the edge of the pillar.**

"Oh! Look at that! And you're trying to tell me Nightmare _won't_ win, Ganondorf?" Bowser said.

"Don't eat your bananas before they're peeled, my friend. This is only the beginning." DK reminded.

Bowser gave him a sideways glance as he reverted his attention back to the plasma screen.

**"Whoa... I wasn't expectin' moves like that until at least halfway through the battle." Link said, rising from the attack.**

**"It's gonna take both of us to take him down." Raznia stated, brushing herself off as ****she got up, as well.**

**"It just might..." Link agreed. "But lemme jump in there first, jus' to test the waters, know what I mean? I'ma land a few good blows, then me and him will have that classic standoff. I'ma tell you what to watch out for, then you'll join the battle. Feel me?"**

**Raznia felt the need to protest. She believed Link was trying until the very end to keep her out of the battle. Instead of disagreeing with his plan, though, she decided to go along with it. She'd let him protect her, but as soon as things looked bad, she'd jump in without hesitation.**

**"Feel you. But you better not beat him without me." Raznia joked. "You need to see just what I can do." She smiled.**

**Link smiled back at her, then he turned to his adversary as he began walking cautiously toward him. Nightmare was hunched over, holding his Soul Edge in prime attack position, ready to spring at any given moment. Link stopped two body lengths in front of him. They glared at each other intensely.**

"My man is gonna try to take out Nightmare by himself? That's real." Ganondorf said. "I'll give him a DAP if he can do it."

"**This is it." He growled.**

**"**_**You have to agree with him, man. This is gonna be pivotal."**_

_**Yep. My first real battle as the new me...**_

_**"I like the way you're trying to keep Raz outta this as long as possible."**_

_**I truly believe she's not gonna last long against Nightmare. He almost gave my shield a black eye with that last move. I'm prayin' to Din I can finish him before that standoff. I don't want her to fight.**_

_**"She might have to if you don't defend yourself. Nightmare's coming."**_

**At that exact moment, Link caught Nightmare advancing forcefully toward him, Soul Edge cocked back behind him and about to sling viciously forward when the chance arose.**

**Link threw up his shield just in time to meet Nightmare's blade a mere five inches above his head. The Soul Edge was much heavier than Link had anticipated, batting his shielded arm down and exposing his vulnerable head. With his mutated arm, Nightmare balled up his fist and delivered a strong hammerblow. Link's body collapsed to the floor while Nightmare immediately followed with a spinning sword smash. Link quickly rolled out of the way. The blade only missed him by a hair, reducing the ground he was laying on to a crumbled mess.**

The three simultaneously let out an "OOOHHHH" as the fight continued.

**Kick-flipping to his feet, Link charged into the offensive. He lunged at a ducking Nightmare, who was struggling to quickly pick up his blade to defend himself. But it only seemed this way, for when Link was about to land his first slash, Nightmare surprised him with a fast, rising thrust to the chest. Fortunately for Link, it only dealt a great amount of pain instead of mortal damage. Link stumbled backward as Nightmare ****suddenly displayed an amazing feat of agility: cartwheeling over the Soul Edge to deliver a powerful, overhead slash to an unsuspecting Link. Next thing he knew, he was on his back, sliding back toward Raznia's feet, still reeling from that stab to the chest. Nightmare let the tip of his sword rest on the floor as he began his mocking laughter.**

"Shit, Link's getting schooled like he's in kindergarten." Bowser said.

"That ain't nothin'! I was _much_ more relentless than that. I bet you fifty rupees Link puts him down next round." Ganondorf proposed.

"Make it a hundred and you're on." Bowser said.

"What about you, DK?" Ganondorf asked, waiting on his wager. "Ante up."

"I'm perfectly content just watching." DK said, refusing the offer.

"Aight, whatever. Guess it's jus' you and me, Bowser. Don't be mad at me when I get them hundred rupees, though." Ganondorf smirked.

"Please..." Bowser replied.

**"****Don't tell me this is the standoff... You didn't even touch him." Raznia said, obviously disappointed.**

**"Hell no, this isn't the standoff!" Link quickly shouted, but winced in pain. "That was just a warm-up round. I'm still gettin' used to myself..." He gingerly rose to his feet, clutching his chest the whole time.**

**"Alright. But if I see you getting beaten down like you were before, I'm gonna have to come in and save you." Raznia teased.**

**Link smiled as he shook his head. There was at least one good thing with Raznia by his side in battle: she was a big morale booster, easily able to keep his spirit up.**

**"That's not gonna happen again. Trust." Link promised.**

"That's a lie." Bowser said.

**He turned to face Nightmare once again, twirling the Sword of Darkness in his hand, thinking about the best way to start his assault. As he pondered, Nightmare began his devious chuckling.**

**"Your insanity... show it to me!" He ordered, still with the Soul Edge resting on floor, motioning Link to attack him.**

"That's game, right there." Ganondorf claimed, raising his hands in defeat. "The mos' important thing I learned from fightin' Link is to never give that motha-fucka a chance. He will put you down _hard_."

"Are you kidding me? The kid's shaking in his boots! Look at him!" Bowser excitedly pointed at the screen.

**Link was wary of this request. For all he knew, Nightmare was just tricking him into jumping prematurely into an assault so he could capitalize.**

**Even so, Link ducked into sprinting position, then bulleted forward, running full speed at his heavily-armored foe. By the look in his eyes, he had no intention of stopping.**

"This is gonna be nasty! Link's holdin' a can of 'Beat Yo' Ass Down' and Nightmare's got the can-opener. Take that shit from him, Link!" Ganondorf cheered.

**Just as Link was within striking range, Nightmare hastily hoisted up the Soul Edge and swung a strong and fast horizontal arc, capable of decapitation.**

"GOTCHA, BITCH!!" Bowser jumped up, thinking his cash was guaranteed.

**Instead, the attack hit nothing but empty space as Link sprung off his feet and leaped over Nightmare's weapon, and immediately off of Nightmare's bulky shoulder. As he floated, flipping through the air, he flung his sword at Nightmare's unsuspecting back. Nightmare may not have seen it coming, but the Soul Edge did. It guided his arms to the threatening blade's trajectory and batted it to the ground.**

**Link finally made a graceful, kneeling land and charged at Nightmare once again. As he ran, he noticed Nightmare wielding a new weapon. With his mutated arm, he held the Soul Edge. With his normal arm, he gasped the Sword of Darkness. Even with this new change in events, he didn't falter as he closed in on his enemy.**

"Two swords against a shield. It's over, Ganondorf. You should just gimme my money now." Bowser suggested with a victorious grin.

"Ain't nothin' over, my man." Ganondorf confidently refused.

"Bowser, you should be patient and watch the match unfold instead of attempting to be clairvoyant. You're just setting yourself up for severe disappointment." DK warned.

"You're setting yourself up for an epic ass-kicking if you keep talking to me." Bowser counter-warned.

**The Soul Edge was swung at him, full force. Link swung back with his shielded arm. The two weapons collided with spectacular force, releasing a powerful shockwave that knocked Raznia off her feet.**

"SHIT!!" All three of the shouted as a spark flew from the power outlet, accompanied by a loud "POP".

Bowser and Ganondorf suddenly turned to DK, surprised that he shouted the expletive along with them.

"It surprised me..." DK shrugged.

**Link and Nightmare, as well as Link's shield and Nightmare's Soul Edge, glared at each other eye-to-eye as they put all their might into pushing their weapons against each other, trying to knock the enemy off-balance. Link strained his face as he pushed, finding it difficult to overpower his foe. Under his helmet, Nightmare smirked. He very suddenly and very powerfully slammed the Soul Edge into Link's shield, effectively breaking his focus and his guard.**

"BOO-YA!" Bowser exclaimed, simultaneously punching the air.

**Link stumbled backward as Nightmare closed in to deal a definitive blow with the Sword ****of Darkness. Link was able to regain his balance and smiled as Nightmare came near. He backflipped out of the way, but not far enough to escape the blade's reach.**

"OH, GOT HIM!!" An overly excited Bowser screamed.

**Or at least that's how it should've been.**

"No, beotch! Sit yo' ass down!" Ganondorf grabbed Bowser by the shell and shoved him back to his seat.

**Although no one could see it, Nightmare's face was riddled with confusion as he watched himself try to cleave through Link with a nonexistent sword. He quickly glanced at his hand to discover that his newly acquired blade had vanished as quickly as he had received it. He then darted his eyes back up to where Link stood; only to see that he was nowhere to be found.**

**But as soon as he felt a blade penetrate not only his armor but his spine as well, Nightmare knew exactly where Link was.**

Ganondorf jumped out of his seat and nearly through the ceiling in sheer jubilance after Link's decisive blow and performed a little victory shimmy-and-shake. Bowser, on the other hand, lurched out of his seat and viciously shoved it to the ground while screaming "BULLSHIT", as well as grabbing the bowl of popcorn and angrily hurling it across the room.

While G-dorf and B-Boss were on different extremes, DK sat quietly, still deeply focusing on the TV screen.

_**I told you I could keep Raz from fighting!**_

_**"I never doubted you. Good job, my man. I like the way you summoned the sword and made it teleport from his hand to yours."**_

_**I figured if I could summon it from another dimension, then I could definitely summon it out of Nightmare's hand.**_

_**"But you know... by that logic... Raznia almost killed herself for nothing back during that sandworm battle."**_

_**What do... ...oh. Damn... Well, what she don't know won't hurt her. Don't tell anybody.**_

_**"And what **_**you**_** don't **__**know will **_**KILL **_**you. Look who's still standing."**__**  
**_  
"Incredible..." DK uttered.

Somehow, DK's single word was heard and Bowser and Ganondorf looked back at the television. They gasped in disbelief.

**Link then looked to Nightmare. Any normal man would've already fallen to the floor, long-dead. But Nightmare is anything but an ordinary man. He stood up straight, still with Link pushing the blade through his back, and started his rough, mocking laughter.**

**"Yes..." Nightmare rasped. "This is it... The pain that I haven't felt for so long... The pain no one lived long enough to deal..."**

**He slowly walked away from Link. As he walked, the sword slowly became dislodged ****from his back, as Link still held onto the hilt, until it was completely out. Link stared in bewilderment as Nightmare knelt to his knees and rested the Soul Edge on the ground. He held his arms out on either side of him, and the Soul Edge slowly levitated above him, turning the room the same shade of green it was when Link and Raznia first entered. The green beam of light had also reappeared, shooting straight through the ceiling, into the heavens.**

"Holy fuck... I OD'd..." Ganondorf said. "I sent a dude that I didn't know somewhere to get more powerful. And this isn't yo' typical mofo. This guy can't be killed!"

"So I guess I'll be taking those hundred rupees, now." Bowser said, holding an eager claw out.

"Fuck outta here..." Ganondorf slapped Bowser's hand away. "Shit, I hope this isn't what Zelda was tryin' to tell me about... How's Link... no, fuck Link! How am _I_ gonna beat this guy! I can't be havin' this guy claimin' my territory!"

"I believe both of you should just watch the match unfold instead of predicting what will happen next. Regardless of recent events, I still believe either one of them can emerge victorious." DK believed, redirecting everyone's attention to the plasma screen.

**Link was still in disbelief that Nightmare so calmly took a sword to the spine and so calmly walked away from it. He ran his finger on the face of the blade. This only led to even more bewilderment as he found no blood. With one last glance at Nightmare, he walked back to Raznia, whose wide, fearful eyes were more than enough proof that Link wasn't the only one to see the impossible.**

**"Link..." She barely uttered.**

**"Okay, you were watchin' the whole thing, so maybe you can tell me what happened." Link said, obviously still befuddled beyond comprehension. "I stabbed him in the back. I stabbed him **_**in the back**_**. I **_**did**_** do that, right?"**

"You obviously did it wrong, you elf-looking bastard!" Bowser shouted at the screen.

This netted him a thrown remote control aimed right at the forehead from Ganondorf.

**Raznia slowly nodded.**

**"So what I should see behind me is Nightmare's body in a crumpled heap, not breathin' anymore, right?" Link asked. Just as Raznia was about to answer, "...but I can tell by the look on your face that that's not the deal. What the fuck? Please, just answer that for me. What. The. Fuck."**

**Raznia stayed silent. She couldn't even begin to understand how such an attack could be withstood. Link sighed and shook his head, withholding a lot of anger.**

**"How the FUCK am I supposed to beat somethin' that can take sword impalements to the spine?!" He suddenly burst out.**

"That's what I'm wonderin', man..." Ganondorf agreed.

"**Link, please calm down." Raznia pleaded, holding his wrist. "Everything has a weakness. **_**Everything has a weakness**_**." She emphasized. "If we work together, we'll find Nightmare's."**

**"My weakness may be yours..." Nightmare said.**

**Raznia and Link both turned to Nightmare, who rose to his feet. As he turned around and glared at his opponents, the room switched colors again, now with a slight crimson hue. Suddenly, the four pillars surrounding the main one they were standing on began lighting up a brighter shade of red, one by one. The final pillar to light up caused Raznia to let out a sharp cry while Link gasped with his heart sinking deeper into the pit of his stomach.**

**"Nabooru..." He uttered as he watched her unconscious body float in the middle of the pillar.**

**"Her soul is my shield." Nightmare rasped as he exposed a portion of skin on his wrist and held it against a sharp part of his armor. He began cut into his skin against his armor, leaving a visible gash across his wrist. But before he could even bleed, a green aura flew out of Nabooru's body, straight to Nightmare's cut. She winced in pain as Nightmare's wound completely healed.**

"Holy shit..." Ganondorf's heart actually sunk. "Yo... I never _ever_ thought I'd be sayin' this in a million years... I think I went too far..." He solemnly admitted. "If Nabooru dies, this whole fuckin' planet's goin' to Hell. I wanted to _rule_ this world, not destroy it! This has to be what Zelda was talkin' about! Why the fuck did she say this isn't important?! THIS IS FUCKIN' DIRE!!"

The other two heeded Ganondorf's words, but couldn't think of anything to reply with. Instead, they continued to watch, with their hearts feeling like they were about to beat a path out of their chests.

"**Link, we can't hit Nightmare." Raznia weakly muttered, almost sobbing. "Every wound he heals will drain Nabi's soul until..." She trailed off.**

**"I know..." Link replied. He glared at the Soul Edge floating above Nightmare. "It's gotta be the Soul Edge controllin' the flow Nabooru's spirit. If we destroy the Soul Edge, we'll save Nabooru."**

**"But what if it uses Nabi's soul to heal itself?" Raznia wondered.**

**"It won't. It still needs Nightmare to harvest the souls it collects, so it's gonna make sure he stays protected." Link stated. "If we get the Soul Edge out of Nightmare's hands, we can stop both of them. Nightmare won't be protected anymore and Soul Edge is useless without a wielder."**

Ganondorf breathed a sigh of relief. "My boy, Link: the man with the master plan. If he pulls this off, I'll let him get a few free hits on me."

"I still think Nightmare's gonna pull it off." Bowser maintained.

"Bowser, FUCK the money! This is bigger than a hundred rupees!" Ganondorf shouted.

"I know that! I'm talking about Zelda's premonition. She said our futures are looking bleak. That, right there, is the reason why." Bowser believed, pointing to Nightmare on the TV screen. "Despite what both of you said about good beating out evil, this might be one of those times where an exception is made."

"For this planet's sake, as well as all of our own well-being, I hope you're wrong, Bowser." DK hoped.

"For once, I agree with you, Donkey Kong." Bowser truthfully admitted, nodding to DK. "But you know... if Nightmare _does_ win and the entire planet doomed, you'll still owe me a hundred rupees, Ganondorf."

Ganondorf slowly turned to Bowser, glaring at him with the most vindictive and malignant of looks. If looks could truly kill, Bowser, as well as anyone else that could see Ganondorf in their peripheral vision, would no longer have blood in their veins, but ice blocking their arteries.

**Raznia nodded as she unsheathed her butterfly dagger and scimitar. Instead of wielding them separately, she held them together, hilt-to-hilt. Her butterfly blade began to glow a cool shade of blue while her scimitar shined a passionate, burning red. The shining hues began to mingle and travel all around the weapons. With a final flash, Raznia held a new weapon in her hand: the Auraflame.**

**Link nodded upon seeing Raznia's new dual-sided sword. Both sides of the sword were longer than the original weapon, and definitely more menacing and powerful. The scimitar portion of the weapon burned a fiery-red glow as small flare-trails shot out of the blade. The dagger portion of the blade shimmered a chilly, sparkling blue. The blazing desert air hitting the freezing blade's surface constantly caused steam to rise.**

"Oh yes! Shortie's is packin' heat! It's a two-on-one, now. We're still in this, baby. Let's go." Ganondorf said, leaning on the edge of his seat.

"**Souls! Come unto me!" Nightmare commanded, his arms outstretched.**

**Immediately, a green aura surrounded him, traveling from his feet all the way up to his head. Energy waves now pulsated from his body as the Soul Edge floated down into his hands and changed form. Before, it was some type of mutated fusion between blade and beast, with a sharp, single edge and a single eye staring out from the middle of the blade. Now, the Soul Edge attained an entirely fleshy complex, losing the blade, but gaining **_**many**_** more menacing eyes that surrounded the main one.**

"Shit, Nightmare's got a new weapon, too. I'm surprised Link didn't pull out some new blade yet." Bowser said.

"I doubt he has one..." DK guessed.

"It don't matter. He won't need it." Ganondorf assured him.

**Nightmare and the Soul Edge glared at Link and Raznia. Link, his shield, and Raznia returned the favor. For both teams, everything was at stake, and neither one had any intention of backing down.**

**Charging at full speed, screaming as they closed in on each other, both teams began their fight to the finish.**


	27. Only the Beginning: Part 5

**Act 10****: **_**Only the Beginning**_ (Part 5)

And after just a few short minutes, the Mario bros. were already reeling from the relentless assault of the armor-clad Iron Knuckle. The monster would swing its ax just as quickly as one would swing a sword. Even so, they tried as hard as they could to not let that intimidate them.

Wielding their Ultra Hammers, Mario and Luigi jumped onto the fray, fending off the Iron Knuckle's wildly powerful ax swings while trying to find an open spot. Defending and attacking at the same time was taking its toll on the brothers' energy, but even with impending exhaustion, they were determined to show this brute why they were the most revered and respected duo in all of Mushroom Kingdom.

But the Iron Knuckle constantly reminded them that this wasn't the Mushroom Kingdom. Even with the both of them fighting at the same time, and the greatest of hammers in their possession, Iron Knuckle treated them like one laughably weak person.

Mario tried to close in on the monster just as Luigi swung at its lower body. The Iron Knuckle blocked the blow with the face of its ax, but didn't see Mario swinging hard to deliver a knockout blow to the face.

**POW!!**

Mario's precise swing met its mark flawlessly. But amazingly, the Knuckle didn't falter at all. Its face was just as heavily-armored as the rest of its body. Instead, it grabbed Mario's hammer by the mallet and snapped it off the handle, leaving him to stare at his new and useless weapon in disbelief. Then without warning, the Iron Knuckle chucked the harder-than-iron mallet right at his midsection. Immediately upon impact, Mario flew backward, crashing directly into the statue that formerly blocked the door, knocked out for a few.

Meanwhile, Luigi was left to face the seemingly invincible foe alone. Iron Knuckle dealt a crushing, log-chopping swing that missed its mark merely by inches as Luigi side-stepped the blow. Immediately after its missed attack, though, Iron Knuckle charged at a preoccupied Luigi by damn-near throwing its shoulder into him, rivaling the impact of a boulder. Luigi was sent spiraling backward, but he quickly caught control of himself and backflipped in the air, landing on his feet.

Starting with a bounding launch off his right foot, he leaped forward, charging at a stationary Iron Knuckle, his hammer ready to deliver a spring-loaded blow at any time. Luigi's foe assumed a batter's stance, treating this like a game of baseball and he was thrown a predictable fastball with the bases loaded.

It looked like the Iron Knuckle was about to hit a grand slam.

Closer he came... Closer he came...

A mighty swing...

FELL FOR THE CHANGE-UP!!

Iron Knuckle was fooled completely as Luigi dropped way before he even reached his swinging radius. Luigi front-rolled under the swinging ax, behind the Iron Knuckle, and skidded to a stop, smiling as he finally spotted that elusive weak spot. Releasing a good amount of pent-up rage and frustration, Luigi dealt a defining blow straight to the Iron Knuckle's back, the only armor-less spot on the iron-clad enemy. The monster knelt to one knee after feeling the sudden collision between the mallet and its back. Two pieces of armor also flew off its body: armguards.

Luigi winded back to deliver another good hit, but the Iron Knuckle recovered quickly, half-twisting its body so Luigi would hit its impenetrable iron side.

And even though Luigi slammed its side harder than he had ever hit anything in his life, the Iron Knuckle only shot out one foot too merely keep itself from stumbling. It then grabbed the head of Luigi's hammer and swung it with incredible force, throwing Luigi off his own weapon. He crashed into the steel-barred door, rising gingerly and disorientated afterward. He turned toward the Iron Knuckle just in time to see it send his own hammer careening toward his face. He braced himself for impact as he didn't have it in him to dodge at the moment.

Suddenly, in a red blur, the hammer was cleaved in two at the handle, sending both pieces flying harmlessly into the wall on either side of Luigi's body. Luigi opened his eyes, wondering why he didn't feel the blinding pain yet. The answer came in the form of his brother standing in front of him with a sword.

"A sword?" Luigi wondered.

"From the statue." Mario pointed out.

Luigi quickly glanced to the statue to find its sword was no longer in its hand.

"Since when could you use a sword?" Luigi asked.

"Are you kidding me? I won the Beam Swordsman award in seven consecutive matches at the Smash tournaments!" Mario said, twirling the sword in his hand as a testament to his skill.

"I guess I wasn't watching those matches." Luigi admitted. "Well, I managed to find that thing's weak spot. If you attack its back, it loses armor. But the more armor it loses, the faster it gets."

"You know this for a fact?" Mario verified.

"It only makes sense. Will you move faster with or without ten-ton armor?" Luigi questioned.

Mario only sighed in frustration.

"Yep. Even if we exploit its weakness, it only gets more difficult to beat." Luigi groaned. "So goes the screw-worthy life of the Mario Bros. these days..."

The Iron Knuckle menacingly rose its ax above its head and literally threw it at the brothers. It twirled at them speedily, doubtlessly able to obliterate anything that would get in its way.

Thinking quickly and skillfully, the brothers jumped toward the wall behind them and catapulted off of it, watching the flying ax pass harmlessly beneath them. With Luigi landing first, they then charged at the unarmed Iron Knuckle. Little did they know that, like a boomerang, the ax made a u-turn and was flying back into the hands of its rightful owner...

As they rush toward their armored adversary, Luigi turned his head back and motioned for Mario to catch up to him while patting his shoulder. Knowing exactly what this meant, Mario launched off his foot and sailed toward Luigi's shoulders. Luigi caught Mario and jumped powerfully into the air as well, starting a modified version of their patented Bounce Bros. attack. Once Luigi reached the apex of his jump, Mario launched off his shoulders, preparing to soar above the Iron Knuckle and ultimately land behind him to attack its back.

Luigi began his decent toward the Knuckle, fixing to deal it a powerful aerial chop. Just before he landed, he saw the ax pass beneath him, flying right back into the Iron Knuckle's hands. Luigi couldn't do a thing as he watched the rearmed Iron Knuckle swing at him with the flat side of the ax. The Iron Knuckle finally hit that home run. Swatted like an annoying fly, he was sent flying helplessly into the stone wall, bouncing off forcefully afterward. It was now Luigi's turn to be down for the count.

In the same swift motion, the Iron Knuckle spun around and threw the handle of the ax up to block Mario's cutting path. With a solid "KONK", Iron Knuckle succeeded in breaking another one of Mario's weapons, leaving him to stare at the remaining hilt in awe. That was short-lived, he thought to himself as he backrolled to avoid another potentially mortal blow.

Mario realized he was running out of options as he rose to his feet. He checked the battlefield for anything that would tip the scales in his favor. All that was left was his unconscious brother, the statue, and its shield. Briefly, Mario considered using the shield, but if it as reliable as the sword, he had a better chance blocking with his face.

"Damnit..." Mario muttered to himself as it looked like his crushing defeat was at hand.

Seeing the growing hopelessness and fear in Mario's eyes, Iron Knuckle raised its ax in the air and hollered another battle cry. Immediately, Mario charged at the screaming Knuckle, hoping it would reveal some type of flaw as he rushed toward it. The Iron Knuckle unleashed a spiral cut in reaction, spinning its ax a complete 360 degrees.

...and hitting 360 degrees of nothing. Sliding under the ax like his brother did before him, Mario came to a stop right at the enemies legs. The Knuckle followed up with a stabbing thrust into the ground, where Mario's chest was. He quickly rolled out of the way and hopped to his feet. Right then, the Iron Knuckle threw its ax up in a rising, unavoidable crescent slice. Thinking purely on instinct and nothing else, Mario whipped out his cape and smacked it against the mighty ax, hoping for the best.

He indeed got a lucky break. Amazingly, the cape spun the Iron Knuckle around, exposing his armor-less back. The downside: Mario's cape was ripped in half, rendered useless as it landed sloppily onto the ground. Wasting no time, Mario fired a powerful fireball burst from the palm of his hand. The Iron Knuckle didn't even flinch, but its leg guards were somehow blown off.

Suddenly, Mario felt a kick to the stomach just as he was about to plan his next attack. This kick actually sent him flying into the statue once again. It looked like Luigi was right, but not only was the Iron Knuckle getting faster, he was becoming more agile with each piece of armor he lost. Mario just realized he received a reverse roundhouse from the monster.

Rising tenderly, wincing as he held his stomach, Mario rose to his feet just as the Iron Knuckle charged at him. And not just a simple "run at your enemy" charge, the Iron Knuckle jumped into a full-blown sprint with the intention of running _through_ his enemy.

Mario may have been injured, but he could still see this coming from a mile away. Ignoring all pain, he dove to the side, leaving the Iron Knuckle to charge straight into the lifeless statue. Mario actually started laughing at the monster's carelessness, but it was quickly ended when the Knuckle turned in his direction, menacingly raising its ax.

It seemed all was lost as Mario raised his arms to shield himself in a petty attempt to lessen the pain. Just before the Iron Knuckle could swing, Mario heard a sound of contact: foot-to-back contact. Off flew the Iron Knuckle's helmet as Luigi, who just delivered a vicious drill kick to the Knuckle's back, catapulted over the stunned monster and to his brother's side.

In a display of frightening strength, the enraged monster grabbed the statue by the shield and chucked it forcefully at the brothers. They managed, but just barely, to duck under the sailing statue, which knocked their hats off their heads and crashed into the steel-barred entrance to the room. Incredibly, it didn't shatter, but the brothers didn't have time to be amazed by the statue's durability as the Iron Knuckle threw a wild fist at them. They also didn't have time to notice that the statue's eyes were now glowing a very irate red...

Immediately after, the Knuckle swung a hard ax swing, trying its hardest to decapitate its adversaries. Another quick bow of their heads kept the brothers alive for a little while longer as they ran past the rampaging monster. Even though they didn't verbally agree on it, the plan of action now was just to avoid its vicious attacks and hope it exhausts itself.

The brothers hopped around like frogs on a sugar-rush, trying to avoid the enemy's motions. The only thing this did, in addition to their previous injuries, was tire them. And even with their constant evasive maneuvers, the Iron Knuckle showed absolutely no signs of slowing down. It was as if this thing wouldn't rest until it laid its opponents to, permanently.

Mario dodged another threatening swing by jumping over the ax and past the Iron Knuckle. Continuing to surprise them with its sudden boost in agility, the Knuckle shot its arm up and picked Mario right out of the air. Mario flailed wildly as he tried to escape its grasp, but the monster kept its strong grip.

Luigi attempted to jump in to save his captured brother. In a way, he succeeded: just when Luigi was in mid-jump, the Iron Knuckle hurled his brother right at him, knocking both of them senseless as they landed hard on the ground. In an exhausted mess on top of each other, the brothers lied still as their opponent neared them.

"What... are... we gonna do... now? That thing is... unstoppable!" Luigi grunted, putting whatever strength he had left into pushing Mario off of him.

Mario rolled off his brother and to the side. "I have no clue..." He admitted. "I don't want to say it, but it looks like we may bite the bullet on this one... I'll tell you one thing, though: I'm not going out on the floor!"

Mario lifted himself up into sitting position, but winced painfully as his injuries, mostly internal, were starting to hurt _a lot_. He sat up at the worst possible moment, though, with the Iron Knuckle winded back to deliver an executioner swing with its ax. Also at that exact moment, a growing round shadow began forming above Mario's head. He quickly glanced up to see some type of flat surface descending quickly to land on top of him and his brother.

Everything that happened next contributed to some type of amazing chain-reaction, devised by Fate, himself. Acting on an inhuman reaction time, Mario forcefully rolled his brother to the side as he immediately rolled the opposite way. The random falling object pounded the ground heavily, kicking up dust in every direction, but completely missed its mark due to Mario's quick thinking. And that's when the Iron Knuckle finally unloaded, sending its ax flying into the object's side.

**CRACK!!**

That was all that was heard as small stone fragments flew about. The brothers looked up and gasped at that they saw. The Iron Knuckle's ax was now buried and stuck in the side of a statue: the very-same statue that Mario had pushed to the side so long ago. What the Mario Bros. didn't know then that this was an infamous Armos statue: a statue that comes to life when disturbed. This one obviously had a lot of patience, as it was disturbed _many times_ before it decided to act.

The Armos began flashing red as it hopped excitedly up and down, with the ax still buried in the side of its head. Mario and Luigi stared at it confused, wondering what this was all about, but immediately understood when they saw the fear in Iron Knuckle's beady white eyes. Shrugging off the great pain in simply rising to their feet, the Mario brothers ran to the furthest corners of the room while the Iron Knuckle tried franticly to pull its ax out of the statue. It should've just followed Mario and Luigi's example, as it failed to do so before the statue detonated.

The statue exploded with extravagant force. The Mario brothers felt themselves get pushed against the wall from the shockwave the explosion sent out. Once the smoke cleared, they turned around, only to see nothing...

...nothing but an armorless, weaponless, and helpless Iron Knuckle pitifully squirming on its back, weakly attempting to get back on its feet. Not letting it get the chance to even sit up, the Mario brothers simultaneously jumped into the air, hovering over the severely weakened Iron Knuckle. Grabbing each other by the arm, they flipped in mid-air and proceeded to deliver their finishing move: the Sibling Slam, which was a super butt-stomp done by both of them at the same time for twice the power. With a sickening crunch of its ribs and the coughing out of whatever remaining air was in its lungs, the Iron Knuckle was finally defeated.

The classic _Legend of Zelda_ "solve a puzzle" chime rang through the air as the steep bars over both doors rose, finally allowing free access to the next rooms.

"_That_... was _FUCK__ING_ ridiculous!" Luigi uncharacteristically cried.

"And that wasn't even Nightmare..." Mario simply replied, finding it unnecessary to get upset.

Leading the way to the previously guarded door, Mario stood in front of the wooden door and opened it. It led to the outside of the temple, and a golden treasure chest with blue designs all over it and an eye where the keyhole would be. Wasting no time, Mario lifted the top of the chest and relieved it of its contents: one golden key with a gleaming ruby gem encrusted at the head.

"We almost died for this..." Mario said, glaring at the key in his hand.

"The funny thing is we _still_ might get killed by whatever's in the room this thing's leading us to." Luigi added.

Mario just shook his head. "These staring contests with Death are getting more intense every time. And my eyes are starting to burn..." He said, glumly.

Standing on the outside, the brothers felt a wave of energy pulsate in the air. Up on top of the temple, they noticed a new red pillar of light replaced the green one they saw before.

"There's no way in Hell that could possibly be good." Mario fretted.

"We need to catch up to Link and Raznia. NOW." Luigi emphasized.

With those words, the Mario brothers ran back through the Spirit Temple and towards the locked boss's room, where they feared Link's battle with Nightmare may have taken a turn for the worse...

* * *

Ganondorf, Bowser, and Donkey Kong stared at the plasma television screen, their hearts pounding as they watched Link, Raznia, and Nightmare fly at each other, screaming on top of their lungs. They gasped as the resulting impact scrambled the TV signal. Once the screen was clear, they saw all three of them jump back, continuing to glare at each other before starting their next volley of attacks.

"Aight yo'..." Ganondorf started. "I don't think I need to tell y'all how serious this shit is."

"Not at all." DK verified, shaking his head. "The fate of Hyrule depends on this match's outcome."

"Word, DK." Ganondorf said. "That's why I'd appreciate it if both of y'all would jus' stayed quiet 'til this shit is over. I feel like us talkin' will fuck up Link's flow in the battle."

DK nodded in agreement.

"I can't promise that I will..." Bowser said. "...but I'll try."

Their eyes were once again re-fixated on the TV screen. Right then, the next round of attacks began.

* * *

Nightmare was the aggressor this time around. Frightfully charging at his enemies, he swung a powerful slash. Link and Raznia stood their ground and swung back hard. The resulting impact blew Raznia away while Link skidded backward.

Raznia agilely rebounded off her hand, landing safely on her feet. She immediately charged straight at a stationary Nightmare with the fire portion of her Auraflame burning passionately. Nightmare stood back and braced himself. With a nimble spin, she swung her weapon fully extended. As she swung, she saw Nightmare block with the Soul Edge. This was just what she was hoping for. She slashed the Soul Edge with all her might, leaving a flaming gash across the sword's side and causing him to drop his guard. With a surprise follow-up spin immediately after, Raznia landed a freezing blow to Nightmare's chest. He literally froze in his place. The arm holding the Soul Edge was held out far to the left.

"Go Link!" Raznia shouted hastily.

Twirling his sword in his hand, Link ran toward Nightmare's outstretched arm and prepared to deliver a slash of his own to the Soul Edge. Once within range, Link lunged forward, his sword leaving a shadowy trail as it sailed toward its target. Just before he could meet his mark, the Soul Edge broke free from its icy prison and somehow guided the rest of the arm to swat the preoccupied Link out of the air.

Of course it couldn't be that easy, Link thought to himself.

Link kickflipped to his feet after sliding backwards on his back. Just then, Nightmare's entire body erupted from the ice, sending stinging frozen particles in every direction. Link hid behind his shield while Raznia rapidly twirled her weapon in front of her. After the last of the ice blast subsided, Link and Raznia dashed toward Nightmare, hoping to overwhelm him with a simultaneous attack from both sides. Nightmare wasn't intimidated by the charging couple at all; he dashed straight at them as well.

Raznia took the lead and was prepared to make the opening hit. Suddenly, Nightmare lashed out with a torpedo dropkick. Once again, Raznia seemed to be thinking ahead as she threw up her weapon to successfully guard against the kick.

SURPRISE!! In an amazing feat of agility, Nightmare kicked off the bar of the weapon into a backflip and immediately followed with a powerful uppercut from his mutated arm. Raznia flew up so fast, she broke all Hylian speed records.

Link tried tossing his blade right at the eye of the Soul Edge while Nightmare was still in his uppercut pose. Unfortunately, this guard wasn't down. Nightmare swatted the sword away with the same uppercutting arm and surprised Link by throwing _his_ sword at him! Link dove to the side while resummoning his thrown weapon. Before he could even get onto his feet, he found Nightmare standing right in front of him. With his human arm, he grabbed Link by the neck and lifted him. As Link felt the grip tighten, he knew it was only a matter of time before his trachea would be a shattered mess in his throat. He wanted to stab Nightmare in the chest so badly, knowing it wouldn't kill him but it'd at least set him free. All he could think about, though, was the type of effect it would have on Nabooru. The Soul Edge may have been out of his hands but it was still in one piece... He forced himself to hold off.

But his chest was still an open target... And Link was quickly losing strength, feeling his oxygen supply become more and more limited. He hesitantly raised his blade, about to commit a highly regrettable action.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Raznia came flipping down and delivered to Nightmare a devastating heel drop amplified greatly by the speed she was falling to the ground with. Releasing Link from his grasp, Nightmare collapsed quickly to the ground and bounced up. Reacting off a short burst of adrenaline, Link hopped up and dealt Nightmare a sonic back-handed slam from his shield, sending him spiraling toward the edge of the battle arena.

"Link!" Raznia shouted, almost diving under Link to keep him from falling to the ground.

"Chill out, I'm fine." Link reassured her.

_"__Stop lying..."_

_What are you talkin' about? Nightmare mighta almost choked me to death, but I'm still breathin', right? I'm fine!_

_"That's not what I'm talking about."_

_...elaborate._

_"You have so many new powers, and yet you're still fighting like you have nothing but your sword and shield. And then there's you almost getting strangled by Nightmare and Raznia saving you... What the hell, man? You look weak out there!"_

_It's like I told Raznia: I'm still gettin' used to all this new shit I have. Not only that, I'm thrown straight into a battle for Hyrule's future while I still have no fuckin' clue what I'm capable of! You ever thought of that? I'm barely a day old wit' my new self and everyone expects me to be the fuckin' man!_

_"You were talking like you were the man before this battle."_

_Someone had to keep the confidence in the crew, right? Even though I don't know what I can do, I'm the strongest out of everyone, so how would it look if I was worryin' as much as them?_

_"Fine... But still, you at least could've gotten out of that choke. Nightmare's chest was wide open."_

_I know that. I was two seconds from doin' it, but I was thinkin' of Nabooru. She already lost a lot of her soul because of me... Besides, I'm not plannin' on killin' Nightmare._

_"...what?"_

_You heard me._

_"...but... you stabbed him in the back, earlier. You know that would've killed him if he didn't have that soul-shield bullshit."_

_Yeah, I know. After I got over Nightmare not dyin' when I stabbed him in the back, I realized more that he's just a slave to the Soul Edge. They have a relationship like, "You keep harvestin' souls for me and I'll keep you alive," or some bullshit like that; I know the story's much more complicated. As long as Soul Edge is keepin' Nightmare alive, he has to be its slave. I know he doesn't want that. No one would. Somewhere under that fucked up exterior, there's a good guy that wants to beat Soul Edge as much as we do. We can save him if we beat the sword._

_"You can also save him if you kill him. He can't be a slave to the Soul Edge anymore if he's dead. And even if you do free him, I wouldn't readily trust someone who's been a pawn of evil for who-knows-how-long."_

_I think he woulda murked himself a long time ago if he didn't think he could break the hold. Any coward could killed himself, but I can sense this guy is better than that. I can help him get free._

_"I dunno about your plan, Link, but I guess I can't stop you. Just promise you will finish him without hesitation if he tries to double-cross you when you free him."_

_That's a definite._

"Are you sure you're okay, Link?" Raznia asked, concerned.

Link snapped back into reality. "Yeah, I'm good, for real. I was actually thinkin' about if I had all my old weapons back. That'd make shit a lot easier." He admitted, standing up on his own.

Just as Raznia was about to respond, Nightmare seemingly teleported to the unaware couple and simply smacked her out of the way as if it was a payback blow for hitting him when his back was turned. Nightmare then turned his attention to Link, sending the Soul Edge flying into his midsection. Link could only find time to throw up his shield to soften the blow, but not to much avail. He completely underestimated Nightmare's strength, but was soon a believer as his shield was sent flying off his arm, and as he himself was sent flying off the battlefield.

After tumbling to the side and her weapon flying out of her hand, Raznia rose disorientated to her feet. She caught a glimpse of her weapon near the edge of the pillar. She quickly darted toward it to claim what was hers. Once she picked it up, something at the bottom of the pillar caught her eye. She peered over and gasped, her heart skipping a beat. Link lied at the bottom, face-down and probably unconscious. Raznia was now left alone to battle Nightmare, and even with the Auraflame, she knew she couldn't defend against his relentless onslaught alone.

And just when Raznia realized that, Nightmare continued his relentless onslaught by trying to knock her off the edge as well. Raznia cartwheeled to the side and began backflipping away to evade her pursuer, but Nightmare could move faster than she had anticipated. On her feet, she found Nightmare in the air, about to come down on her hard with his Soul Edge. She blocked the blow with the hilt of her weapon just before it could meet her forehead, but the force of impulse from the crashing hit bought her to her knees. She struggled to rise to her feet again, trying her best to overpower the midnight-armored menace, but she was only fooling herself. Nightmare forced her to quickly bend backward as if she was in a limbo contest. Raznia was thankful she was so flexible, but even she had her limit, and she was quickly approaching it.

Suddenly, Nightmare threw all of his weight into the sword and knocked the flexing Raznia to the ground, effectively throwing her back out. As she lied there, writhing in pain, Nightmare lifted his armored boot and hovered it over her ribcage. A charging sound was heard as his foot actually lit on fire. He was literally going to stomp the life out of her!

Nightmare then let his foot drop like a ten-ton weight. Raznia shut her eyes and braced herself.

The sound of crumbling concrete rang throughout the boss's chamber as Nightmare buried his foot into the ground. The sound of hard foot-to-chest contact was also heard beforehand. Despite what both sounds would suggest, that's not what transpired at all. There was one crucial sound that was missed, hidden under the veil of relatively loud clamor. That was the sound of Raznia being quickly tackled to the side, away from the threatening armored boot.

Raznia opened her eyes after she felt a strong force knock her aside. Seeing who was kneeling above her definitely sent a shock of surprise through her system. It was none other than the green machine, Luigi. She saw that his attention was being held by something else.

"Yes!" He shouted in an excited whisper, clenching his fist victoriously.

Raznia looked to where Luigi was staring. She just saw Mario land from what seemed to be some type of aerial attack, and Nightmare holding his chest while stumbling backward, looking deeply pained.

"Luigi!" Raznia finally shouted.

Luigi's head quickly turned to Raznia. "Are you alright? The minute we got up here, we saw you get pushed hard to the ground."

"I think I'm okay..." Raznia said, getting up on her own two feet. "AH! Oowww..." She suddenly arched her back in pain.

"What happened to you?" Mario came over, concerned about Raznia's condition.

"Her back..." Luigi said.

"Trust me, guys, it's nothing... Watch." Raznia assured them. "Mmph!" She slowly bent over, wincing heavily as she leaned forward. Suddenly, she thrust herself forward, popping her back into place, it seemed. The numerous bone-cracking sounds made the brothers cringe.

"You sure you should've did that?" Mario wondered.

"Don't worry about it. As long as I don't get put in a position like that again, I should be cool." Raznia said, half-twisting herself to make sure she was alright.

"At least get yourself checked out when we get back to the fortress." Luigi suggested. "I know Link would want you to do the same."

"Speaking of Link, where is he? I thought you two were fighting together." Mario realized.

Before he could get an answer, Nightmare slammed his fist into the ground, sending a tremor through the pillar.

"I think we made him mad..." Luigi sighed.

"He recovers quick!" Mario gasped. "I drill-kicked him right in the diaphragm! I could've sworn I left him gasping for air."

"He probably siphoned some of Nabi's soul." Raznia fretted. "Listen, don't deal any life-threatening blows to Nightmare; it'll hurt Nabi, instead."

"How?" Luigi wondered, perplexed.

Suddenly, with a shout, Nightmare pounded the Soul Edge into the ground like a hammer. A wave of sand and stone was sent toward the reunited trio. They easily dodged it, but knew there were more devastating attacks to come.

"Can't explain it now. Just try to get the Soul Edge out of his hand." Raznia ordered.

"But what about Link?" Mario asked again.

Another ground wave was sent at them, bigger than the previous one. Mario and Raznia dodged to the left while Luigi hopped over the wave and actually took the initiative in fighting Nightmare, starting off with an aerial chop.

"I don't know how he got there, but he's at the bottom of the pillar." Raznia recounted. "Before I could check if he was okay, Nightmare caught me off-guard."

"I'll check on him." Mario immediately offered.

"But..." Raznia began.

"You know more of what Nightmare's capable of, so we need you to stay in the battle." Mario said. "Get with Luigi and just hold Nightmare down for a while. I'll be back with Link in seconds."

Raznia looked to Luigi and Nightmare. Luigi was definitely trying hard; he let off a smash-breakdance followed by a strong roundhouse, but Nightmare was blocking his attacks effortlessly. The second he'd decide to strike back, Luigi would be finished.

"Alright..." Raznia finally agreed.

Raznia and Mario went their separate ways. Just before Nightmare could knock Luigi's block off, Raznia made an intercepting save with the Auraflame, just hitting the weapon off of its harmful course toward Luigi. Luigi immediately followed up with a smash-headbutt, which lifted Nightmare into the air just high enough for him to capitalize with a short-hop meteor-stomp. As Nightmare flew backward, Raznia and Luigi pursued their (briefly) helpless adversary, trying to batter him as much as possible before he could gain steam again.

Mario, on the other hand, jumped down to the bottom of the pillar to check on Link, with the sounds of a fierce battle constantly in his ear. The grunts he heard sounded like they were trying so hard to net favorable results, but weren't succeeding at all. Suddenly, he heard two simultaneous shouts of pain. Mario almost dropped his search to jump back up to the battle and help out, but he resisted the urge. He knew he'd help out more if he found Link.

What he found first was Link's shield. Despite the glaringly dangerous environment they were in, the eye of the shield remained shut. It looked like it was knocked unconscious. Afraid Link had suffered a similar fate; Mario mounted the shield on his back and broke into a sprint. Shortly after, Mario found the Sword of Darkness, planted into the ground right next to one of the four thinner pillars surrounding the main one. And leaning his back against that pillar, sitting right next to the sword, was Link. He sat with his knees up and his face buried in his arms.

"Link?" Mario called, surprised to see him like this.

Link suddenly picked his head up. A smile instantly took over his face as he recognized his companion.

"For about two seconds, I thought you wouldn't show up." Link said.

"We said we'd be seeing each other again, soon, right? I just didn't think it'd take so long." Mario admitted, smiling.

As he looked at Link, he noticed his eyes were a little red and glassy, and what looked like fresh tear streaks ran down Link's cheeks.

"You look like you've been crying." Mario said.

Link's smile quickly vanished. "BS, man." Link disagreed, quickly wiping his face and eyes dry. "How many times do I gotta to tell you that I don't cry? I _never_ cry, man! Even when I was born, I didn't cry. I came out stone-faced."

"Link, I've seen what people look like after they cry. _You_ look like you've been crying like a baby." Mario stated.

"Hell no, man! Not like a baby." Link asserted.

"But you were crying..." Mario said.

Link stayed silent for a while. Mario simply nodded his head.

"Okay, Mario. I _do_ cry. ...sometimes." Link finally admitted.

"So who bought you to tears?" Mario wondered.

"Me..." Link murmured.

Mario's eyebrow rose in confusion.

"Yeah, I'll explain..." Link offered, seeing Mario's desire for an explanation. "Comin' into this battle, I was scared. Scared shitless, my man. I haven't been in a battle _this_ serious since I was seventeen: when I had to take back Hyrule from Ganondorf. I knew Nightmare was crazy, but this was just ridiculous. As soon as he dealt the first blow, I knew he was stronger than me. I had to keep up the confidence, though. I beat the shit outta plenty of people stronger than me before. And with my newfound strength and all, I was sure as hell this would be another one of those times. I could do this all by myself."

"...without Raznia?" Mario asked.

"I had to sit her on the sidelines. I seriously thought she'd get in the way." Link admitted.

"I thought she proved herself after that sandworm battle." Mario said.

"She almost got eaten, man. She told you, herself. You have no idea how scared I was when that happened. Shit like that is the reason I wanted her to stay at Gerudo Fortress. Too many things could happen to her." Link said. "Anyway, I managed to give Nightmare a run for his money. I even stabbed that mofo in the back, but as you can see, he didn't die. Soul Edge is usin' Nabooru's soul as a shield to protect Nightmare."

"Wow..." Mario muttered, astounded by Soul Edge's tactics.

"After that bit of info was revealed, Nightmare did a soul-charge. He's fuckin' unstoppable now!"

"...that can't be the reason you were crying..." Mario shook his head. "We've faced, and somehow beaten or escaped from, so-called 'unstoppable' foes before."

"I'm gettin' there." Link assured him. "After Nightmare did the soul-charge, Raz joined the battle. Lemme jus' talk on the side for a sec... Raznia is freakishly sexy when she fights. I didn't really notice it against the sandworm, but now I see. She can fuse her two weapons together to create some fire and ice deal... Nayru... And there's that cute thing she does with her waist when she spins... I love it! If this fight wasn't so important, I'd probably stop the battle and do unholy..."

"Enough, Link..." Mario halted Link before it was too late.

Link laughed a little. "Sorry, sorry. But like I was sayin': Nightmare is a fuckin' monster. I literally landed one good hit on him. Raznia's been doin' most of the damage."

"So this is all because you think Raznia is stronger than you?" Mario thought.

"Nope. Lemme finish." Link said. "Even with Raznia doin' her thing, we still can't hold a candle to his power. He gave Raz a taste of the back of his hand and he just destroyed me. He sent me off the pillar, down here. This is where I've been for the last five minutes. And for the first three, I couldn't even move. I could only think about everythin' I've been through and what was goin' on now. I was gettin' murdered like never before and I couldn't understand why. I couldn't even get a decent hit in. But suddenly, I thought about Ganondorf, and what he said, way _way_ back before I even started this entire trip...

"_You are nothing without your weapons._"

"...and you believe that?" Mario asked, seeing where this was going.

"At first, hell no. I thought he was just bitter about losin' to me. I even challenged him to a sword-to-sword battle just to prove him wrong, afterward." Link recounted. "But when I remembered those words, I went back to every battle we fought up to now. And he's right. I couldn't believe it. He was fuckin' right..."

"Link, no..." Mario said, refusing to believe Link was saying this.

"Think about it, Mario. Every single battle we fought... I was only useful 'cause I had my weapons. Not just the Master Sword or the Biggoron Sword, but the arrows, the Megaton Hammer, the bombs, all that shit!" Link insisted, trying to get Mario to see his point.

"Come on, stop it." Mario demanded, growing upset. "You may not be doing well against Nightmare, but that's no reason to trick yourself into thinking you're weak."

"You need me to go through every battle?" Link offered. "In that coliseum battle, we only won because I had all those Fairies, and the Fierce Deity Mask somehow made its presence felt. We only escaped Sephiroth because I had Farore's Wind. We beat clone-Kraid because of the Master Sword. I saved y'all from that Lakitu-lookin' thing because of the new shield and the Sword of Darkness. Those leevers and that sandworm fell to my blade, too. Now go back to all those battles and take away all my shit. We woulda died at least five times, Mario."

"You're crazy." Mario muttered. "I can't believe you're going on like this."

"You still don't see how wack I am? Alright, check this out..." Link continued. "You and Luigi can fight with _no_ weapons at all! You two don't even need 'em! Those fireballs are serious enough. Ganondorf doesn't need anythin' either. Even the Triforce of Power he can do without. He just has all that shit because he's a showoff. Bowser is a fuckin' beast. He _is_ a weapon. And since you and Luigi can take him down with _no_ weapons highlights the fuckin' fact that you two are incredible. I know Nightmare doesn't need the Soul Edge to wreak havoc. In fact, he threw the godamn Soul Edge at me and still managed to catch me in a choke-hold afterward. And even Raz knows some crazy shit without her sword and knife. Raznia, the girl I was tryin' to protect because I thought she was too weak, ended up savin' me in that battle. All of you need _nothing_ to be considered dangerous.

"Now compare all of you to me. When you think of me, you automatically think 'sword plus shield plus a whole lot of other unnecessary shit.' Take it all away. What would you think of me then? 'Scrawny, punk elf-lookin' kid that can't hold his own weight.' That's me. You saw me in the Darkness of Time. They took away my sword and shield, and I almost died within three hours of losin' them. Not in a day, but a fuckin' _eighth_ of a day, I nearly lost my life because I didn't know any other way of protectin' myself..."

Link looked up to Mario, who was shaking his head in disbelief with his arms crossed.

"Okay, here's the biggest one: your brother wouldn't be here if I didn't have the Ocarina of Time. In fact, you wouldn't have even wasted your time with me if I didn't have that ocarina. You didn't make the decision to roll with me until after I told you I could bring your brother back." Link said.

Mario's face was screwed up, stuck in a state way past bewilderment.

"Admit it, Mario. You can't deny that sh--"

Before Link could even finish his sentence, Mario just lost all composure and gave Link a hard, back-handed fist right across his face. Link momentarily kept his head turned in the direction it had been hit in. He couldn't believe what Mario just did. Even Mario couldn't believe what he just did. His hand was still raised in the position it was in after he dealt the surprising hit.

Finally, Link slowly turned his head toward Mario. He glared at him with a growing anger that caused him to breathe harder and harder. Mario simply glared back at him coldly, calmly lowering his arm.

"If there's one thing I hate more than anything else, it's someone who doubts himself." Mario stated. "You're not weak, Link. You're an idiot for even believing that. You want to know why you're losing this battle? Because you're trying to fight _by yourself_. You may not have noticed this, but you're at your strongest when you're fighting _with_ someone. Think about it, Link. All those battle you pointed out; you weren't alone. Someone always had your back. And you always had that someone's back, as well. Even way back when you saved Hyrule from Ganondorf; you didn't do it alone.

"...and you may be right about Luigi not being here without the Ocarina of Time, but even if you didn't have it... _Even if_ there was absolutely no way to save my brother, I still would've helped you in getting back Zelda, even if Peach wasn't involved at all." Mario said. "I can't believe you think I'd just leave you hanging like that. We're friends, aren't we, Link? We established that way back in the first Smash Tournaments. I didn't forget. I'd _never_ forget. I never would."

Mario spotted a tear sliding out of Link's eye and down his cheek. Link promptly buried his head in his arms again, sitting in the position Mario had found him in earlier. Not knowing what else to say, Mario took off the shield hanging from his back and placed it by the Sword of Darkness. He then left Link to himself, deciding to let him sort his own problems out.

"Listen..." Mario said just before he left, his back to Link. "I don't know what you want to do, and I know I can't force you to do anything. Just know that whatever you do, I still have your back. So does Luigi and Raznia." He then turned around to face Link, whose face was still hidden in his arms. "I don't care how dumb this sounds, but there is no _I_ in _TEAM_. No matter how powerful you get, just remember that, Link."

Mario began wall-jumping back up to the top of the pillar where Luigi and Raznia were trying their best to slow down Nightmare's powerful onrush. But try as they might, they were barely able to land a decent blow ever since the meteor-stomp Luigi landed so long ago. Soon, they were forced into strict evasion, as Nightmare wouldn't even let them _breathe_ close to him.

He set his sights onto Luigi, seeing that he was the weaker of the two. With two swift swipes, Luigi was already reeling. Raznia tried to divert Nightmare's attention to her, dealing him a few burning slashes across his armor. She got what she wanted; Nightmare spun around quickly, literally clotheslined her with the Soul Edge. She flipped out and landed hard on her stomach, agonizing over how much pain she was in.

Nightmare returned his attention to Luigi, only to find out he was no longer where he left him: on the floor, holding his ribs. He then turned around to face Raznia, only she wasn't there either. But out of the corner of his eye, he saw a red tinge of color zip away. He felt the Soul Edge swing behind him. Nightmare immediately threw his other hand to the Soul Edge's hilt and added more slashing force to the attack. The swing would've been devastating if it hit a target, but the only thing to feel the damage was nothing.

Suddenly, Nightmare felt another drill kick; this time, to his back. He lurched forward, stumbling as he tried to keep his balance. Growing annoyed, he heaved a wild swing behind him, even before he could regain his footing. He finally connected, clocking his attacker right in the midsection.

Mario rolled helplessly to the side, coming to a stop on his back. He felt paralyzed; just that one hit was able to take him out of commission. Wasting no time, Nightmare ran toward his downed opponent, planning to crush him underneath his sword. Holding the Soul Edge in both of his hands, Nightmare sent the blade into a powerful decent toward Mario's head.

There was a sudden shout of pain as Nightmare's attack was knocked off course, slamming into the ground beside Mario. Nightmare stared in disbelief at Raznia's Auraflame, which was now stuck in his mutated arm, burning blade-first. Just before he could reach for the sword, Raznia suddenly appeared, viciously yanking the sword out of Nightmare's new wound.

"I'm sorry, Nabi..." She muttered as she glanced back to Nightmare healing his wound.

Raznia scooped up Mario and jetted toward the opposite side of the pillar, where she took Luigi while Mario was distracting Nightmare. She laid the brothers side-by-side. Neither of them looked good: Luigi moaned in pain almost every time he breathed while Mario fell into unconsciousness. Once again, she was left alone to battle her greatest Nightmare.

This time, however, she knew she wouldn't last long. She held her Auraflame out defensively, her heart pounding in her chest as she watched Nightmare walk toward them. His walk slowly became a stride, his stride became a jog, and that jog soon broke into a sprint. Raznia braced herself for the hammerblow she was about to receive.

A strong "KLANK" was heard. Definitely not the sound that's made when a sword hits someone's face...

I must be my own good luck charm, Raznia thought to herself as she found herself being saved _again_ from a literally crushing defeat. Nightmare's sword was stopped about a foot from her face, and the distance between them was slowly increasing as he was fighting to break through the force that was resisting him.

Suddenly, Nightmare felt a shield collide into his face. The hit didn't hurt him, but did succeed in surprising him, causing him to fall back, unbalanced. The attack was immediately followed up by a sweeping kick, and then a jumping spin-kick to the cheek. Nightmare was sent spiraling to the ground, temporarily dazed.

"My turn to save you, baby." Link smiled, turning to Raznia after fending off Nightmare.

"My hero." She replied, giggling afterward.

"Damn, the brothers look bad..." Link noticed.

"Mario saved me twice from Nightmare and Luigi took him on one-on-one for a minute. They did pretty good, considering the odds." Raznia said.

"Yeah, and I know they had a rough ride tryin' to get here. It wouldn't have taken them so long to get here if they had a path similar to ours." Link thought. "We gotta finish this quick. The brothers need to be checked out. Hell, _we_ need to be checked out. My whole chest hurts beyond hurtin'."

"My abs feel sprained and I just had to pop my back into place a while ago." Raznia said. "How are we gonna do this? Getting the Soul Edge out of Nightmare's hand is so impossible! And it's like everything we do doesn't affect him! Then, if it does affect him, he takes some of Nabi's soul!"

Link watched Nightmare slowly rise to his feet.

"I dunno what to do... This guy is freakin' invincible!" Link exclaimed. "Ganondorf must be pretty damn proud of himself. He's gonna be responsible for a whole lotta destruction if we lose."

"We won't lose. We can't! We're the good guys!" Raznia argued. "We'll find a way to win, probably in the most unexpected way possible."

"A win's a win, right? Just as long as it doesn't come at a price..." Link hoped, looking to a soul-suspended Nabooru.

An anguished bellow rang in the Hylian duo's ears. They shot a look to Nightmare, whose armor flashed green as he screamed.

"I've been waiting for this day for too long! You _won't_ stand in my way! The Soul Edge _WILL_ be restored!" Nightmare shouted.

Link and Raznia stood side-by-side in a defensive stance as the enraged Nightmare charged at them. Within prime attacking range, Nightmare swung a mighty horizontal swing at the couple with his blade engulfed in flames. Deciding at the last minute that is was better to dodge the blow completely than block it, Raznia and Link evaded the cleaving slice, dodging in separate directions.

After rolling to the side, both of them jumped in and delivered a stunning scissor kick. They glanced to each other briefly in surprise of their synchronized attack while Nightmare stumbled backward.

Raznia, quick to capitalize as usual, closed in with a twirling Auraflame, preparating to deal an icy slice. And as usual, at least in this fight, Nightmare intercepted her plans, grabbing her by the face before she could make a definitive strike.

Link rushed in to free his battle ally, his sword reared back and ready to hack Nightmare's arm off if he had to. He didn't have to attack to get Nightmare to release Raznia, though. Nightmare suddenly spun around and literally chucked Raznia at the charging Link. With an amazing reaction time, Link leaned to the side, just letting Raznia miss him by a few inches. Just before she passed by him completely, Link grabbed her by the leg and spun a 180, heaving her right back in Nightmare's direction. Now flying through the air at what felt like bullet velocity, Raznia flipped over, now flying feet-first toward Nightmare's chest.

Judging by the way Nightmare was floored after the hit, Raznia actually made a decent projectile. She hopped off a downed Nightmare while Link cartwheeled, then somersaulted into a diving slash aimed at the Soul Edge. Nightmare quickly rolled over just before the threatening sword could touch him. Link landed powerfully afterward, slamming his weapon into the ground and emitting a strong shockwave that sent Nightmare rolling further than he originally planned.

Using the Soul Edge to rebound off the ground and to his feet, Nightmare skidded to a stop and glared, infuriated, at his black-attired enemy. Just as he was about to charge at his foe, he felt his weapon suddenly heave itself upward. Taking a glance to the right, he caught a glimpse of a sword trying to taking a stab at his Soul Edge: the Auraflame, which was quickly becoming an irritating distraction. He grabbed the weapon by its long hilt and pulled it fiercely toward him, dragging its wielder with it. Nightmare then threw his foot up in the path Raznia was stumbling in, and she subsequently caught a faceful of iron boot. She hit the floor fast, holding the back of her head in pain.

Before Nightmare could even take advantage, he was suddenly launched in the air. Link followed up his surprise attack with a jumping spin-attack, catching Nightmare in a devastating combo of vicious and undeniably painful sword slashes. Link finished his combo with a final swing of the sword, knocking Nightmare a little higher into the air. His attack didn't end, however. Link left behind a whirling vortex, similar to the whirlwind Dark Link attacked the Mario brothers with in the Darkness of time, to ravage an already battered Nightmare.

As Link landed, he found Raznia rising to her feet. Gripping her weapon like a javelin, Raznia used what little strength she had left and hurled her weapon straight into the tornado of blinding agony. The cyclone immediately gained the contradictory elemental properties of fire and ice, both coexisting to annihilate a common enemy. Sharp icicles, with the doubtless ability to impale whoever got in their way, recklessly spiraled around a raging, burning firestorm.

Link and Raznia watched in awe of the special technique they just created. _No one_ would be able to survive that. While Raznia hoped with all her heart that Nightmare was burning to death, Link was admittedly disappointed. He really did want to save the good man who was forced to become Nightmare.

Link looked to Nabooru, expecting her to be freed from captivation. Instead, he found her not only still suspended over one of the surrounding pillars, he saw her soul actually being slowly pulled from her body. By the look on her face, there was a struggle; whatever consciousness Nabooru had left would not allow her soul to be taken so easily, but it was easy to see she wouldn't last long.

This could only mean one thing. Link knew exactly what it meant, and it had him shocked to the point where his blood turned to ice in his veins. Just as he was about to warn Raznia, he felt an incinerating, white hot flash of heat strike his right shoulder. The sudden move floored Link, caused him to drop his shield, and left him screaming like never before, tears of sheer pain flowing freely from his eye as he stared in disbelief at the Auraflame lodged in his shoulder, fire-side first.

Saying Raznia was stupefied when she saw Link's unbelievable predicament would be a severe understatement. She wanted to dive to Link's side and help him however she could, but her legs were frozen. She couldn't even think straight as Link's screams ripped through her eardrums.

Suddenly, another scream tore through the air. Raznia managed to break her horrified glance at Link to look in the direction the shout was coming from. All she could do was involuntarily dilate her pupils in pure terror as she watched Nightmare emerge from the cyclone and come crashing down toward her with his sword ready to redefine "decimation".

It happened so fast, Raznia felt like her life at the current moment was a song, and the record skipped. One second, she was frozen in fear, watching Nightmare come closer and closer to dealing a beyond-destructive blow. Suddenly, all she saw was a flash of white. All her senses were nullified: she couldn't see, she couldn't hear, she couldn't feel... It was as if her body shut down.

But slowly, her sight returned to her. Everything was horizontal and dim. Her hearing returned as well. Link's screams were still ripping through the air, although gradually dying down and accompanied by struggling grunts, suggesting he was trying to free his arm from the unbearable pain.

And speaking of unbearable pain, Raznia gradually gained back her ability to feel. Out of all the senses she got back, she wished this one came back at a later date; preferably years from now when she was guaranteed to be recovered. The sensation she felt was beyond pain; beyond anything mortally comprehensible. All her bones felt like a fine powder inside her body. Simply attempting to move her finger _joint_ was cruel and unusual punishment. As she lied completely and utterly helpless, Nightmare stood over her, his seething glare burning a hole through Raznia's forehead.

Link and Raznia were definitely were in horrible shape, and Nightmare was no exception. His armor no longer looked like armor. The blazing flames of the cyclone caused the iron to melt messily into his skin, making him look like some metallic hybrid monstrosity. The skin on his back that was exposed was now black and singed, and peeling off his body. Also, strewn about his body were renegade icicles, impaling him in places that should've left him dead. The only thing that kept him alive was surely the Soul Edge siphoning what little of Nabooru's soul it could steal at the moment.

As Link struggled to pull the deeply impaled Auraflame out of his arm, he saw Nightmare wrap his monstrous hand around Raznia's neck and lift her into the air. She hung limply, not even able to struggle. Link saw the look in Raznia's glazed-over eyes; she may not have been able to scream aloud, but what Link saw in her eyes screamed louder than any voice could ever hope to carry.

Seeing that was more than Link could handle. This was the one thing he had been afraid of the most, and it was happening right in front of him in real-time. A lesser man would've died from the sorrow he would be feeling, but Link turned that sorrow into an inconceivable rage, and used that rage as strength.

With his newfound strength, he finally yanked the Auraflame out of his right shoulder. His entire arm was rendered worthless, looking like it was hanging from a thread as it dangled uselessly from his shoulder. He didn't care, though. He didn't care about anything except saving Raznia.

In a burst of adrenaline and anguish, Link jumped to his feet and charged speedily and violently at Nightmare, clenching his teeth so tightly that they threatened to shatter. Link then bounded at the arm holding up the helpless Raznia. With a powerful swing of the Sword of Darkness, Link sliced through the monstrous arm of Nightmare. Link attacked so fast, Nightmare didn't even notice Link had done anything until his arm abruptly fell off, dropping Raznia to the floor.

Link turned back to an astonished Nightmare, staring in sheer consternation at his dismembered appendage. His legs began to wobble as he began to feel weak, and fell to his knees. Nightmare was damaged way quicker than the Soul Edge could heal, and Nabooru's resistance wasn't helping things at all.

Link glared at the Soul Edge, which was working overtime to heal Nightmare's wounds. All of its efforts were in vain, however. It was soon no longer connected in any way to Nightmare because Link had swiftly and mercilessly chopped off the hand gripping the Soul Edge's hilt. The severed hand released the sword, letting it roll out of its palm and lie pitifully on the stone floor. In someone's hands, this was the most powerful and evil weapon in existence, but on its own, it was absolutely nothing.

Link stood over the weapon and stared at the sword in silence. The weapon blinked twice, and then glared back at Link. The intensity between the two was staggering. Then, with a scream beyond torment, Link raised his blade and thrust it into the Soul Edge repeatedly. Link stabbed the living sword again and again, his face screwing up in insurmountable hatred. Blood actually started oozing from the Soul Edge, but even that didn't stop Link from his continual impalements. Link stabbed the sword so roughly and so forcefully that he actually cut the weapon in two.

Link furiously threw his weapon to the side, but fell to his knees after he did so. The exhaustion was starting to take its toll on him. Before allowed himself to slip into unconsciousness, he caught a glimpse of Nightmare. Link was shocked to see him actually on his feet, still alive in his current condition. But he could sense something different about him. That impossibly powerful aura was gone. The evil animosity that surrounded Nightmare's being had dissipated. All that was left was an unspeakable sorrow and heart-felt regret.

"Nightmare..." Link called, forcing himself to rise to his feet.

"Please... Don't call me by that name..." He pleaded, his back facing Link; a notable change in his tone was noted. Instead of sounding merciless and overall threatening, he sounded broken.

"It's the only name that suits you. That's all you've been to my home." Link argued.

"I'm fully aware of that..." Nightmare muttered. "I've been struggling to free myself from the Soul Edge's manipulative hold. For so long, I've been fighting against it, and for so long, I've been beaten again and again. I was powerless to do anything against it. I could only watch what the blade made me do in order to restore itself. All the annihilation... the massacres... the bloodbaths... I even murdered my own father... If I were to die at this very moment, not even the deepest and darkest pits of Hell would accept me."

"Death wouldn't be enough of a punishment for you." Link said. "You deserve to be the way you are now. You don't even look human."

"Indeed..." Nightmare agreed. "I haven't been human for so long, I don't deserve to be, anymore. I've been an enemy to humanity. I don't deserve my human name: Siegfried. Perhaps this is my punishment... having to live with myself in my current condition until my dying day..." Nightmare finally turned around to face Link. "I truly am a living nightmare..."

Link limped over to Nightmare, stopping within an arm's length and staring him eye-to-eye.

"I know this won't provide any consolation for what I've done today or in the past, but you have my deepest apologies." Nightmare sincerely said. "I am truly sorry for what I've done."

"Being sorry isn't enough..." Link said.

He held out his left hand. The Sword of Darkness suddenly appeared in his grip and was immediately thrust into Nightmare's unsuspecting throat. He slowly sunk to his knees, gasping for air as he tried desperately to grab at Link's tunic with his nonexistent hand. Nightmare looked up to Link's eyes. A sudden flash of red swept over Link's blue eyes. Then, as suddenly as the sword was thrown through his throat, the weapon was ripped out.

"...you deserve to suffer." He finally completed his sentence.

Nightmare was left on the floor with a hole in his throat. Link stared an ice-cold glare at the suffering Nightmare, looking as if there was absolutely _no_ regret for what he just did.

Finally, his exhaustion took over. Link collapsed to the floor, leaving Nightmare's suffering gasps to fall on deaf, unconscious ears.


	28. Only the Beginning: Part 6

**Act 10****: **_**Only the Beginning**_ (Part 6)

After the flush of the toilet, Bowser was seen stepping out of the bathroom, looking exceptionally refreshed.

"Whew..." He sighed as he crossed the narrow hallway and reentered the entertainment center that was Ganondorf's living room. "Ganondorf, I'm telling you this because I care about you: _do not_ go in there for a while."

"Don't worry, my man. I'm already makin' plans to quarantine that sector of my crib." Ganondorf replied waving, without even facing Bowser. "What I heard in there wasn't right at all..."

"Hey, when Nature calls, you gotta answer. She leaves some real nasty messages if you don't." Bowser said, matter-of-factly.

He then sat on the far side of the same stretch-couch Ganondorf was sitting in. They both stared at the grandiose HDTV in silence. After a while, as Ganondorf gazed intently at the glowing screen, barely even blinking, Bowser turned to his seemingly hypnotized Gerudo counterpart and blinked rapidly in disbelief.

"Ganondorf." Bowser called.

He didn't even bat an eye.

"Ganondorf!" Bowser called again with a more forceful tone, as well as a sharp snap of his fingers.

"Hmm? Huh?" Ganondorf promptly responded as if he awakened from trance.

"Why are you still watching this?" Bowser pointed at the screen.

The screen was fixated on the chamber that served as the battleground for Link's stand against Nightmare. The only thing that kept the room from being empty was the mutilated body of the feared, nightmarish warrior once known as Siegfried. He was in the center of the screen, sprawled out on his side. A large pool of blood had formed around his head, suggesting only one thing...

"I'm jus' makin' sure he's dead." Ganondorf responded.

"He's been like that for almost half an hour. That blood pool isn't getting any smaller either." Bowser noticed.

"Yo, after seein' all the shit he could take and still live, I need to prove to myself, beyond a reasonable doubt, that this guy is done." Ganondorf said.

"Well, this is now an unreasonable doubt. You know he's dead." Bowser asserted. "That stab Link dealt was pretty fatal."

"Yo... That stab..." Ganondorf trailed off, closing his eyes while slowly shaking his head. "That shit was sincere. I never woulda imagined Link doin' somethin' like that. I mean, both of them were talkin'... Nightmare probably thought he'd still be livin'... Then, wit'out warnin': BAAOOW!" He boomed, making a strong stabbing motion. "He caught a sword through his neck. Never even saw it comin'..."

"That definitely wasn't the Link we all know..." Bowser shook his head.

"You kiddin' me? That's the Link you don't know." Ganondorf corrected. "I know how this kid gets when he's pissed. I'll admit: I was stunned when I saw him do it, but when I think about all the shit Nightmare put him through, it was only right. I woulda done the same thing."

"But you're evil. You probably would've done it regardless." Bowser argued.

"Yeah, but still... I know Link, my man." Ganondorf stated. "Push him hard enough and he will surprise the shit outta you. Nightmare did that, thinkin' it'd be all good later, but he thought wrong. _Dead wrong_."

Bowser could only nod his head in agreement. He definitely couldn't argue with that.

"Aight, I guess it's safe to say he's done wit'." Ganondorf concluded, turning back to the TV and shutting off the monitor. "I still can't believe I'm the one who started this shit. I gotta be more careful wit' who I send to fuck things up. This guy... _almost_... destroyed the world I'm tryin' to rule." He slowly breathed out. "Link came through in a big way, tonight... I almost feel bad that I'ma relentlessly beat his ass when he gets back here."

"You might not have to if DK's plan is as good as he says it is." Bowser said. "Where the hell is he, anyway?"

"He got kinda shook after seein' Mario in action. He said he was gonna make some las'-minute adjustments to his shit." Ganondorf said.

"Hmmm..." Bowser hummed. "Did he ever tell you what his plan is?"

"Nah." Ganondorf said, shaking his head.

"And you never thought about asking?" Bowser wondered.

"I asked him once. He was mad secretive about it, givin' me vague explanations and shit." Ganondorf remembered. "I jus' figured his plan was _that_ serious: he can't tell no one 'bout it. So, I let him live."

"You gotta be curious about it, though..." Bowser said.

"Yeah, definitely." Ganondorf verified.

"Then let's go find out!" Bowser suggested.

"Nah, man." Ganondorf declined, shaking his head. "I gotta respect DK's space."

"Well, I don't." Bowser said, getting up to walk out of the room. "I'll tell you about it when I get back."

"Wait! Hold up a second!" Ganondorf hastily called, jumping over the couch to block Bowser's way.

"You may respect DK, but I don't. There's no reason for me to respect him. And I can't work with people I don't respect." Bowser said. "I need to see this 'great plan' of his. If it really is that amazing, I can rest a little easier knowing DK is not the blithering dumbass I thought he was."

"I wasn't even gonna go into all that. You dunno where DK is workin', so I was jus' gonna take you there." Ganondorf offered. "You mighta been livin' here for a while, but you still dunno my crib's layout like that. It's possible to get lost for a couple of days here."

"I thought you had to 'respect DK's space'." Bowser said.

"I don't gotta look in there. _You're_ disrespectin' him, not me." Ganondorf said. "This is what's gonna go down: we get there, you look in, we leave."

"Fair enough. Lead the way." Bowser said.

Ganondorf took Bowser to the lowest level of his castle where DK toiled away, perfecting his planned method of finishing Mario and his companions. They stopped at the large iron door leading into the largest chamber.

"Right here." Ganondorf pointed out, stepping aside.

Before Bowser could even put enough force to push the door open...

"Yo." Ganondorf suddenly said. "Don't say anythin', don't criticize, in fact, don't even go into the room. Jus' stick yo' head in and take a peek."

"Fine." Bowser quickly agreed. All he wanted to do was see what DK was working on, anyway.

Bowser pushed the door opened just enough for his head to fit through, and promptly peeked his head in. The first thing he heard was maniacal laughter mixed with the wild grunts of a crazed gorilla. DK seemed to have gone mad, and Bowser could easily see why after taking a look at DK's creation. What he saw left him speechless. What he saw was unlike anything he had ever seen before. What he saw was just... just...

Bowser backed out of the doorway and closed the door, still looking awestruck from what he caught a glimpse of. Ganondorf couldn't help but let a satisfied smirk take over his face after seeing Bowser's reaction.

"See, B-Boss?" Ganondorf confidently nodded. Judging by the way Bowser looked, DK's plan definitely was the be-all that ends all.

"Yeah... I see clearly, now." Bowser said. "We're screwed." He simply stated, walking back toward the stairwell they used to get to the lowest level.

It was as if Bowser's words were a magic chant. They promptly turned Ganondorf's smooth smile into a look of confused concern.

"Hold up. You mean '_they're_ screwed', right?" Ganondorf corrected, hoping Bowser unrealistically twisted his words.

"No, _we're_ screwed." Bowser turned around and repeated clearly, pointing to both himself and Ganondorf. "DK has successfully verified that he will forever be a retard who knows big words. This plan is bullshit. Wait, no, scratch that. If our plan was to find some _real_ bullshit and just throw it at Mario, Luigi, and Link, that would be the infinitely better plan. This plan makes bullshit look great!"

"Nah, man. There's no way DK's plan could be that bad." Ganondorf said, refusing to believe Bowser's words.

"Trust me, there's a way, and DK found it." Bowser argued. "You don't even have to take my word for it. The truth is right through that door."

Ganondorf looked to the door. He wanted to believe DK was actually planning something that would work, but then again, Bowser's face was pretty serious when he said it wouldn't... But then _again_, Bowser's been trying to prove DK's stupidity from the moment Ganondorf made that call... He briefly considered seeing for himself, but...

"Yo, I'm jus' gonna let the result speak for itself. If DK's plan works, Mario's definitely gonna be out of the picture. If not, DK's gonna get murked hard. He knows what's at stake, so I'ma jus' trust that he's doin' what's smart."

"That's gonna be pretty tough for him since he's such an idiot." Bowser said. "Just don't say I didn't warn you when Link, Luigi, _and_ Mario show up."

"Yo, either way, I'm ready for 'em." Ganondorf said. "I'm 'bout to go find out why Zelda didn't wanna tell me Nightmare was gonna fuck shit up like that. She probably knew what was gonna happen before I even met this guy..." He clenched his fist angrily, with his fist glowing powerful, dark energy. "I'm probably gonna beat this bitch senseless."

"Just make sure you don't kill her." Bowser mentioned. "I guess I should find something to do, too. Anything that'd keep my mind off of how stupid DK is..." Suddenly, his eyes brightened up as if he had an idea. "Where'd you last see Peach?"

"In her room." Ganondorf said.

"Perfect." Bowser nodded with a suggestive smile.

"Jus' make sure you don't get clocked over the head wit' a fryin' pan." Ganondorf mentioned.

"Oh, don't worry about that." Bowser said. He suddenly pulled a helmet out of nowhere and fitted it over his head. "I'm taking all the precautions this time."

"..." Ganondorf was struck speechless. "I'm gone." With an immediate about-face, Ganondorf left the scene in a hurry, on his way to deal Zelda some heavy-duty interrogation.

* * *

There was an impatient knocking at the door. Immediately, Zelda knew who it was and was promptly mortified. She hoped Ganondorf would just let what happened earlier between them fade into obscurity, but unfortunately, that wasn't the case. She wished so badly that she had just kept that premonition to herself. It wasn't going to happen anyway, she thought to herself.

Suddenly, the door flew opened. Ganondorf simply stood in the doorway with a glowing arm, glaring at Zelda, who was sitting on her bed, on edge.

"I tried bein' nice about it." He said, taking a step forward, and pushing the door closed behind him. It was just the two of them, now.

Zelda could see it in Ganondorf's eyes that he wasn't planning on leaving until he found out exactly what he wanted to know. But what he wanted to know, Zelda didn't want to tell him. There was no reason to because it wouldn't happen, she figured. She knew Ganondorf definitely wouldn't settle for that as an answer, though. She could only wonder if she'd be able to hold out long enough for Ganondorf's interest to fade and his frustration to grow, convincing him to give up.

"Aight, Zelda." Ganondorf began. Already, this simple "greeting" had Zelda's heart pounding. She wasn't going to last long... "I know you know exactly why I'm here. I know you know exactly what I wanna hear." Ganondorf stated. "And I _know_ you know you're gonna tell me everythin' you need to tell me."

Zelda started her defiance by turning away from Ganondorf. He chuckled a little.

"Okay, I guess you don't know yet." Ganondorf said. "I got time, though, shortie. I ain't goin' nowhere." He stated while pulling up a chair that was by the door and took a seat.

They sat in complete murky and awkward silence. Actually, only _Zelda_ sat in complete murky and awkward silence. Ganondorf was actually sitting quite comfortably, leaning back with his hands folded behind his head, just waiting for Zelda to crack. She proved she wouldn't be that easy to break, though, as she refused to even make eye contact with her captivator. But thinking she could accomplish this task was so much easier than actually doing so. She quickly started to feel even more uncomfortable than before. It was like she'd been sitting there for an eternity. Only five minutes had passed since Ganondorf first arrived, though...

Zelda suddenly heard the legs of the chair scrape against the floor. Involuntarily, she looked toward Ganondorf's direction, but briefly. She saw just enough to determine that he was turning the chair around so that he could lean his chest against its back. This was a bad sign, Zelda thought to herself. He wasn't getting frustrated, as she hoped. He was getting more comfortable.

"I saw that." Ganondorf observed Zelda's quick glance while taking a seat.

She let out a sigh of frustration. She wanted nothing more than for Ganondorf to just leave, preferably in a hurry. Even though she wasn't looking at him, she knew he was simply staring a hole right through her temple. She could literally feel the mocking glare.

Zelda knew how she could end this: one of two ways. She could fight. But immediately, Zelda knew that was the worst possible option. Outside of a Smash environment, she wouldn't last fifty-nine seconds against Ganondorf.

Or she could just tell him. So what if the premonition wasn't going to coming true? The biggest reason she was so reluctant to tell Ganondorf anything was because she wished to be taken seriously. As a child, when Zelda had premonitions of the future, no one would believe her, simply labeling her dire dreams as symptoms of an overactive imagination. She knew Ganondorf would label her similarly if she told him what she dreamed wouldn't come true.

But was it worth being treated like a prisoner and kept in her room? Even though Zelda basically was a prisoner since Ganondorf took her against her will, she enjoyed a pretty decent degree of increasing freedom within the confines of Ganondorf's castle. She had gotten used to this and was deeply offended that Ganondorf would go as far as watching her like this. She was a princess, after all. She shouldn't be forced to stay in her room like a grounded child.

"I noticed you ain't tryin' as hard to avoid eye contact." Ganondorf interrupted Zelda's thinking. "You been thinkin' a lot. Weighin' yo' options." He speculated, getting out of his chair and slowly taking steps toward Zelda. "You think they all suck, but there's only one option that you can actually deal wit'. And you're 'bout to turn that option into a choice: the right choice."

Zelda didn't show any outward signs, but she was stunned by how accurately Ganondorf nailed her thought process. _How could he know me so well_, she wondered.

"If there's at least _one_ thing I can guarantee wit'out question, it's that I know you and Link like I know my own greatness." Ganondorf boasted. It was as if he heard the question Zelda had asked herself.

Ganondorf now stood directly in front of Zelda with crossed arms. The plan now was to just keep his ears open and wait for Zelda to tell him everything.

Even though there was only one thing left for her to do, she still decided against making eye-contact. With a defeated and reluctant sigh...

"...there was a battle..." She meekly muttered.

Ganondorf simply nodded. "I fuckin' knew it..." He sighed. "Keep goin'."

"It would have tremendous effects on Hyrule's balance..." She continued.

"Yep..." Ganondorf nodded.

"If it comes true, Hyrule could be thrown into an era more dark and more sinister than anything even you could possibly comprehend." Zelda said.

"I dunno 'bout that..." Ganondorf disagreed, slowly shaking his head. "Well, this'll probably brighten yo' day: it ain't comin' true."

"I know." Zelda simply replied.

"Oh." Ganondorf was slightly surprised. "Aight, then. I guess DK already told you Link murked Nightmare and saved Hyrule."

This is when Zelda finally broke her "no eye-contact" rule. Immediately, Ganondorf knew something was wrong. The satisfied glow in his eyes quickly dulled as the concern started to settle in.

"We were talkin' about the same shit, right? We were talkin' about Nightmare comin' through to kill Nabooru and completely fuck up the balance y'all sages keep up, right?" Ganondorf frantically asked, involuntarily uncrossing his arms.

"Who is... Nightmare?" Zelda honestly asked.

This simple question set Ganondorf off. "SHIT!!" He shouted, taking a wild swing at the air. A dark-purple trail of energy followed his fist.

Zelda was confused, to say the least. She truly had no idea who Nightmare was. She didn't even know Hyrule was in danger. ...or at least in any more danger than it already was in, with Ganondorf in power.

"Ganondorf, please..." She pleaded, standing up. "Who is Nightmare?" Zelda repeated, facing Ganondorf's back.

"If I tell you this, you gotta tell me what your premonition was. And DO NOT bullshit me." Ganondorf demanded, turning back and pointing a threatening finger right at her face.

Zelda gave a hesitant and slow nod, taking a seat on the edge of her bed once again.

"You remember that day I left in a hurry?" Ganondorf asked.

"Yes. Bowser said you had business to attend to." Zelda remembered.

"It was a while after I found out Link was back in Hyrule. I caught this guy causin' straight chaos in Kakariko Village. I was offended. No one causes chaos but me!" Ganondorf asserted. "So I had to get down there and show him a lil' somethin'..."

A flashback ensued...

_Ganondorf's Interdimensional-Warp Machine dropped him off right in the heart of a devastated and burning Kakiriko Village. Immediately, he was greeted by a wave of screams. Looking around, he saw a large majority of people running for their lives, fleeing the village. Whether it was because of the new threat that was decimating the village or because of his unexpected arrival, he couldn't tell. Although there were a notable number of people panicking, there was also a decent amount of villagers who actually seemed relieved to see him. It seemed that they knew Ganondorf was going to take care of this problem for them._

Damnit, I look like the good guy_, he thought to himself. He'd deal with this image-misconception later, though, as he saw an explosion of dirt coming from the graveyard. Immediately, he swam through the sea of people escaping from the scene and made his way to the epicenter of disaster, occasionally literally throwing those that got in his way out of the town._

_"Fuck outta my way!" is what he'd say when he did so._

_Upon arrival, Ganondorf saw that the graveyard no longer existed. All the graves were obliterated and the graveyard, itself, was reduced to a smoking crater. He couldn't believe only one person could cause all this damage._

_Suddenly..._

_"PLEASE!! NO!!" A terrified voice screamed._

_Following almost instantaneously after the begging outcry was a choked-up mix between a scream and a gurgle. Ganondorf followed the dying cries and stopped at the edge of the crater to find two people in the deep center. One man was being held up off his feet, dangling from his throat in someone else's hand. Someone else's mutated, monstrous hand..._

_"I'll show you the greatest nightmare!" The owner of the arm proclaimed._

_"Nightmare..." Ganondorf muttered. He remembered Link once telling him about a man who referred to himself as a nightmare._

_As the person dangled, wildly flailing his legs in an attempt to escape, Ganondorf caught a glimpse of some sort of green stream flowing from the helpless man's body to the mutated arm, and from the mutated arm, it continued to a weapon unlike anything Ganondorf had ever seen before, which was being held in Nightmare's human arm. It seemed to be living, donning characteristics of both a sword and some type of living creature. It even had an eye..._

_Soon, the man's struggling quickly ended as he hung lifelessly from the midnight-armored foe's hand. Figuring it served no further purpose, Nightmare carelessly tossed the body aside and thrust the living sword above him. It suddenly flashed into a burst of flames and sent a wave of power down into its wielder._

_"More..." He rasped, slowly bringing the sword down to his level. "...need more souls..."_

_Ganondorf wasn't having that. Letting a ball of dark energy grow in his hand, he launched himself straight at his armored adversary. He introduced himself with a powerful fist, sending Nightmare off his feet and practically rolling up the crater walls. Then, Ganondorf pitched the dark-energy ball at him. The stunned foe went up in a smoking explosion, giving Ganondorf a reason to let a victorious smirk occupy his face._

_That sneer quickly vanished as Nightmare rose to his feet with his back toward Ganondorf. __Ganondorf noticed Nightmare wince as he rose, though. He expected this match to last no more than two minutes._

_But suddenly, without even saying a word, Nightmare charged at him, preparing a crushing, jackhammer-like swing to respond to Ganondorf's greeting. Easily reading the move, Ganondorf sped toward his enemy to counter with a Gerudo Dragon. The two attacks met with incredible force; Ganondorf literally punched the descending sword. But he was found himself on the receiving end, pulling his fist back in pain after he struck the blade. That actually hurt!_

_In an unexpected follow-up, Nightmare swung his blade around and delivered a mighty sword-uppercut. Ganondorf was sent soaring into the air, but not for long. After reaching the apex, he backflipped and whipped his cape up behind him. Right then, after momentarily floating in the air, Ganondorf came crashing back down toward the heavily-protected fiend. Nightmare reared his weapon back, preparing to bat his Hylian enemy back into the sky. In a surprise maneuver, Ganondorf reached behind him and unsheathed his own sword: the Rune Blade. He slammed his blade mercilessly into Nightmare's living edge, sending out a powerful shockwave. He met it with so much force that Nightmare's weapon actually looked like it flinched while his own legs gave out from trying to withstand the attack. Ganondorf looked down on his opponent. Two minutes was giving him too much credit, he thought to himself. It had barely reached one and he was already on his knees._

_Nightmare seemed to disagree, though. Tightly grasping his blade in both hands, he jumped up and unleashed a flurry of swings and slashes, all in an attempt to take down Ganondorf. Regardless of how fierce Nightmare's attacks were, Ganondorf dodged them with mocking ease. Ganondorf's cool, collected, and cocky mindset was easily able to counter Nightmare's enraged and exacerbated._

_Finally, Ganondorf had enough fun. He threw his blade hard into the face of the living sword, sending Nightmare stumbling clumsily to the side. Immediately after, Ganondorf sent a powerful fist into his enemy's chest: a weaker, yet still debilitating, Warlock Punch. Nightmare was blown away, tumbling backwards and finally stopping facedown in the dirt._

_Total time: one minute and twenty-two seconds._

_Ganondorf chuckled to himself as he slowly approached Nightmare, watching as he struggled to rise to his feet._

_"The Soul Edge yearns to be completed! We thirst for souls! You will not stop our restoration!" Nightmare snarled on his knees, ready to dish out another round of attacks even though he knew he was outclassed._

_Ganondorf threw the tip of his Rune Blade to Nightmare's face, but stopped mere centimeters from the nose of his helmet._

_"Ease out and listen up, Nightmare." Ganondorf ordered. "I can easily send you back to whatever Hell you came from. Seriously. Don't sleep on the curved tip. If I thrust, you'll be dust." A familiar smirk then took over his face. "...but I'ma save that for another day. I like you. No one's been able to wreak havoc like that before. What you did actually rivals some of the shit I do. I'm so impressed, I'ma hook you up, my man. I'ma tell you exactly where you can get an unlimited supply of souls to feed yo' sword." Ganondorf offered, reaching his hand out to help Nightmare to his feet as he sheathed his sword._

_There was a tinge of fiendish satisfaction in Nightmare's frightening eyes as he reached up to grasp Ganondorf's hand._

_"Yes..." He hissed, rising to his feet. "This is it..."_

_"Nah, buddy. This ain't it, yet. I do favors for favors, so this is what yo' gonna do for me..."_

"The deal was I'd send him to the Spirit Temple to power up, and he'd deal wit' Link when he got there. On the real, I never expected Nightmare to win, anyway. He was jus' supposed to murk Link enough so I could deal him the finishin' touch swiftly when he got here." Ganondorf slowly began shaking his head. "But this fuckin' guy almost fucked up the entire plan! He OD'd on souls and got ridiculously strong. Luckily for me, Link got ridiculously strong, too. The match was even 'til Nightmare suddenly revealed that he was usin' Nabooru's soul as a shield. That shit was not part of the deal. I wasn't gunnin' for Hyrule's destruction, and we all know that woulda went down if Nab died." Zelda nodded, knowing the results would be beyond catastrophic. "In the end, though, my boy pulled through. Nightmare got deaded hard; he caught a sword through his neck. Link got severely fucked up in the process, too, and so did the rest of his crew. But don't worry about 'em; they're still breathin'."

Even though she already heard the outcome earlier from Ganondorf, Zelda sighed in relief. Hyrule definitely was in some amazing danger, but luckily, it was no longer a threat. She was also more than relieved that Link was safe, but also more than surprised that he would end the battle so violently.

"That shit was intense..." Ganondorf sighed, finally taking a seat. "While I was watchin' the match, I thought about what you said: about Hyrule bein' in danger and shit. Everythin' that was happenin' fit the description, so I thought that was it. But now I know it ain't." Ganondorf leaned forward, inching a little closer to Zelda, signifying it was her turn to tell a story.

"As I said before..." She hesitated a little before she continued. "...there was a battle. It was between you and Link..."

"Yo... I've been havin' premonitions about that since I kidnapped you! Everyone knows that shit is gonna happen." Ganondorf stated.

"But that's not all." Zelda continued. "During the course of the battle... the Triforce..." She trailed off.

At the sound of that word, Ganondorf's ears perked up, more attentive than before.

"What about the Triforce?" Ganondorf urgently asked.

"The Triforce..." Zelda wanted to complete her thought, but she found it so hard to say out loud. This would be the first time she actually had to put it into audible words. "It..."

"SPIT IT OUT, ZELDA!!" Ganondorf demanded with a startling shout.

"The Triforce is destroyed!" Zelda blurted out, immediately letting out a slight weep after saying it.

At the completion of that sentence, Ganondorf's face was drained of all color. He had a myriad of curses, questions, and exclamations he wanted to shout out, but the only thing he could conceive at the time was staying in his seat and asking "...how?"

"I..." Zelda paused again. This was the part of her premonition that frightened her the most; more than the possible destruction of the Triforce. She let her lips part a bit, preparing to tell Ganondorf how it would come to be.

But she couldn't do it. It was hard enough for her to say the Triforce, the sacred symbol that served as a bond between the Goddesses and Hyrule, would be destroyed. But for her to say the rest of what she knew... it was impossible. Just thinking about it pained her heart and bought tears to her eyes. Zelda knew Ganondorf wanted an answer, though, and he wanted one immediately. Not able to think of anything else, she muttered...

"I don't know."

Upon those words, Ganondorf went berserk. He jumped to his feet lunged at Zelda, grabbing her by the arms and shaking her furiously.

"HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW?!" He lividly bellowed. The rage in his eyes would've terrified even the most hardened of men.

"I never saw that far into my dream!" Zelda screamed immediately, tears of fear freely flowing from her eyes.

Ganondorf roughly shoved Zelda back and made his way to lean on a wall by the door, beside himself in disbelief.

"...it isn't going to happen." Zelda murmured. Her heart was pounding so hard, she could barely keep her voice from shaking. Ganondorf simply turned in her direction. Forcing herself to calm down, she continued. "I saw Link when I last came to speak to you. He was on your television screen. The Link I saw and the one I dreamed about are two different people. My premonitions happen exactly as I had dreamed them."

"Don't forget that it's still gonna be a while before this actually happens." Ganondorf pointed out. "I guarantee you there's a whole lotta time for shit to change. Some shit might just come along between now and then and force shit into happenin' exactly as you saw it."

Zelda's heart sunk as she held a hand over her mouth in grim realization. She was so sure that the differences between what she saw in her dreams and what she saw recently were too great. But Ganondorf was right: anything was possible.

"Where are we fightin'?" Ganondorf inquired.

"...in a pit below this castle, completely surrounded by lava." Zelda replied.

Ganondorf nodded. "Aight." He violently pulled the door opened. "This shit ain't happenin'." Zelda heard him say before he left, slamming the door behind him.

Zelda was finally left alone in her room while Ganondorf set off to figure out a way he could guarantee that Zelda's cataclysmic premonition would never happen. The premonition seemed to occur only because he and Link were fighting. He didn't know what made this fight so different from any other battle they had, but if he could find a way to stop this inevitable encounter before it even starts, he would.

But regardless of how brilliant his plan could be, it'd be even better if he knew about the imperative information Zelda withheld...

* * *

Slowly, the world blurred back into perspective, but it looked different from how he saw it before unconsciousness struck. As he faced up, on his back, he saw that instead of the spacious, sandstone, searing battleground he had grown accustomed to, he found himself in a comfortable, clearly calmer, and comparably cooler room. It was also a lot brighter than he could remember. He hadn't been exposed to any sunlight for a long time.

"...how'd I get here?" Link groggily wondered to himself, recognizing this was a room in the infirmary of the Gerudo Fortress.

He rose up in his bed a little, but cursed silently from the sudden burst of pain that shot through his right shoulder. He quickly gripped his shoulder, immediately surprised to feel a material that felt different from his tunic. He checked out his arm: it was tightly bandaged up. Link was surprised to see the bandage wrapping around not only his arm, but also around his chest as well. As soon as he noticed this, he realized his ribs actually did feel a little tender, with a slight discomfort as he breathed. He also noticed he wasn't wearing his black tunic. In fact, after glancing underneath the blankets that were covering him, he found that he wasn't wearing anything at all!

"Where the hell are my clothes?" Link asked himself, patting his blond hair to check for his hood. Even that was taken from him.

There was an open doorway leading into the hallway of the facility Link was staying in. Right when he looked out, a woman walked by: a Gerudo woman.

"Hey!" Link called out, trying to get her attention.

The woman took a nonchalant glance into the room and kept on walking.

"HEY!!" Link shouted, refusing to be ignored.

She slowly walked backwards and returned to the doorway. She had an annoyed look in her brown eyes. Now able to have a good look at her, Link saw that she was kind of pretty, though she couldn't compare to Raznia. She was a normal Gerudo woman with short, red-orange hair. She also had a relatively plain body. Not to say she wasn't nice to look at: her tight-fitting midriff bought some attention to her top curves, but there was nothing that demanded a double-take.

"Yes?" She asked. Her tone sounded like she had an attitude.

"How'd I get here?" Link asked.

"It's pretty obvious that you didn't walk here." She sarcastically replied.

Link's nose flared in displeasure as his mouth turned to a subtle frown. He didn't appreciate the rudeness she was giving him for seemingly no reason.

"What's your name?" Link inquired.

"Does it matter?" She counter-inquired after sucking her teeth.

"Yeah, it does. I wouldn't be askin' if it didn't, right?" Link shot back.

She let out an annoyed sigh. "Mida." She finally muttered.

"Aight, Mida." Link began. "I know I didn't walk here. I just got through the battle of my life and I passed out before I could figure out what to do next. Right about now, I'm hurtin' like it was goin' outta style, and I'm disoriented and confused as hell. I know I don't gotta say this, but I had a pretty fucked up day. You don't have to add to it, alright? Just answer my questions without the bullshit."

Mida could only direct her eyes away as she let out a "hmph" like she didn't deserve that verbal beat-down.

"So, let's start again from square one, Mida... How'd I get here?" Link asked one more time. "We already ruled out walkin'."

She let out an aggravated sigh. "It's easy to figure out that we bought your shattered-ass back here." Mida finally said, still not looking at Link.

"Thank you, baby. That wasn't so hard, right?" Link said with a taunting smile.

"Whatever." She huffed as she turned away, about to leave.

"Wait up! I'm not done with you, yet!" Link called out.

"What?" She practically spat. "I'm actually really tired and you're keeping me from my bed."

"This won't take long. I just got three more questions for you." Link said. "First question: why'd you guys go to the Spirit Temple? I know Raz musta told you guys to stay put."

"Yeah, she did. But she couldn't expect us to sit tight after what we saw." Mida said. "I was part of the lookout crew last night. We saw a green pillar shooting up from the Spirit Temple. Put that together with the fact that that's the last place Nabooru said she was going, the fact that Raznia was heading in the same direction, and the fact that that's just not normal. It'd be smart to think that we all got a little worried." She explained. "At first, we all thought we were overreacting. It was the first time we saw anything like that. But then that pillar turned red... It was a no-brainer, after that: we grabbed our weapons and went to see for ourselves what was going on. I guess it's a good thing we didn't find out what was really happening, but seeing the results wasn't too much better. Nabooru, Raznia, you, and your two friends were a mess. We also found Nightmare dead. Serves his ass right. That's what he gets for messing with us."

"Dead..." Link muttered to himself. This was definitely against what he wanted earlier. Link decided he'd find out more later. "Next..." He continued. "Where are my peeps? They're all alright, right?" Link asked this question solemnly. He prayed the answer nothing less than favorable.

"When we found you guys, you were all pretty beaten up. Raznia was the only one still awake. Well, she was awake, and she wasn't awake, if you can get that. For a little while, she'd look at us like she didn't know us. It was kinda scary..." Mida admitted. "But luckily, it was nothing. I guess she was just really shaken up about something she saw during the fight. I dunno if she's over it, but I can tell she's trying not to let it get to her.

"Nabooru actually recovered the quickest out of all of you. She woke up as soon as we were on the fortress grounds. I guess it was the sage in her that wouldn't let her stay down. She didn't even have any injuries like you guys did. She just said she needed some rest. Nabooru's been sleeping ever since then, and that was about seven hours ago.

"As for you and your friends... Well, you know your situation. We tried healing your wound with Fairies and red potions, but it wasn't working. We just wrapped you up and decided to take you to the Great Fairy when you woke up."

"And Mario and Luigi..." Link was wary of Mida's hesitation.

"Why do you look so worried?" She wondered with raised eyebrows. "Take it easy, they're fine. Nothing a few Fairies couldn't handle."

Link let out a deep sigh of relief. Everyone was fine, just as he hoped. The plan now was to see them all.

"Alright, I gotta go see them." Link decided, about to jump out of his bed. He suddenly stopped in his tracks. "Oh snap... That actually brings me to the most important question: where the fuck are my clothes?!"

"Hey, you said you were only asking three more questions. That last one makes four." Mida pointed out.

"Can you count? I only asked three!" Link argued.

"Let's recap..." She began, counting on her fingers. "You asked why we went to the temple, where your friends were, and if they were alright. 'Where the fuck are my clothes' makes number four."

"Wow..." Link was actually stunned. "You're a bitch."

"You're not the first one to think so." Mida smiled as if Link complimented her.

Even if she was a bitch, Link had to admit that she had a pretty smile. Perhaps too pretty for someone like her. It was so sweet that it was taunting.

"Seriously, where are my clothes? I can't be walkin' around this place naked, and we both know why." Link said.

"Not my problem. I did everything I said I'd do. There's no reason for me to tell you anything else." Mida said. "...unless you give me a reason to."

Link didn't trust that suggestive smirk slowly spreading across her face.

"I don't trust you..." Link said, holding the blanket tighter against his body. "Whatever you want gets a resoundin' 'Hell no'."

Mida began strutting into the room, slowly inching closer to a vulnerable Link. Link's heart began to pound. He actually considered summoning the Sword of Darkness to fend off this Gerudian offender.

A moment later, Mida was standing at his bedside, still with a smooth, mischievous grin on her face.

"Come on. Let's see that sword of legend." She teased, slowly creeping her hand onto Link's blanket and threatening to pull it off.

"This shit ain't comin' off for no one!" Link asserted, throwing Mida's hand off his covers and protectively wrapping himself up in most of the blanket's surface area.

She laughed a little at Link's actions.

"I'm serious. My shit is stayin' under these covers." Link stated.

"I always get what I want." Mida said.

The only part Link didn't account for was the bottom half of the blankets, and Mida caught that fatal error. She threw that portion of the blanket up, leaving Link stunned and helpless as she took an extended gander at Link's "weaponry". Link could only see her eyes as she stared, and momentarily, he caught her looking at him. It seemed she enjoyed what she saw, judging from the grin in her eyes.

While this should've been a boost for his ego, he wasn't at all happy with how this transpired. Link slapped the blanket out of her hand and thoroughly entangled himself in the covers, looking like some sort of slug on its back with blond hair and elf ears.

"Your old clothes were looking real raggedy and dirty, and your tunic smelled like blood, so we're getting you some new stuff." Mida said. "Don't worry, we're not gonna dress you in a midriff or something. We figured you'd appreciate a new tunic uniform. The only thing is that we couldn't find your sword and shield."

"Don't worry about that." Link assured her.

There was a second of silence. That smile in Mida's eyes just wouldn't go away.

"You can go now." Link stated, feeling Mida was just staying to mock him.

"Don't be such a sore loser." Mida winked and headed toward the exit. "After we get your clothes, I'll show you where everyone is. See ya later." She closed the door behind her.

"What a bitch..." Link muttered, turning to his non-injured side as he figured there was nothing left to do but catch some more shut-eye.


	29. Only the Beginning: Part 7

**Act 10****: **_**Only the Beginning**_ (Part 7)

_Damn... That was easy..._

It was as if while he was standing across the gap, his eyes focused on Ganondorf's castle, he had simply blinked and that was that. It all happened in a blur. Even as Link lied in the field outside of the newly restored Hyrule Castle, gazing into the spectacular light show that was Hyrule's starlit sky, he still couldn't believe it.

It was finally over.

The fall of Ganondorf heralded the end of his long and arduous quest to rescue Princess Zelda alongside the Mario brothers, who had to save Princess Peach.

And it was just the other day, during the struggle against his greatest nightmare, that he believed he wasn't fit to complete his quest. Now he was looking back at what he accomplished in retrospect. He'd done it all and lived. He remembered all the inescapable situations he escaped... all the unbeatable enemies he defeated... all the times the odds were stacked unfairly against him and he still came out on top.

He let out an unexpected chuckle.

_This is kinda funny. I almost believed I'd never be able to chill out like this again. After all the bullshit that kept happenin'... It all just started feelin' normal. But all that's done. Finally... I'm home._

After a soft sigh, he had to smile. _I'm home_, he thought again. He had been home for a while, but this marked the moment where he realized he was home comfortably. Peacefully. There'd be no fighting. There'd be no ridiculous odds to overcome. There'd be no forces of evil to worry about. The only thing he had to fight was his urge to do backflips of pure glee. The only thing he had to overcome was his fear of the Peahats that used to chase him throughout Hyrule Field as a child. The only thing he had to worry about was what time to wake up the next day.

A tinge of light suddenly caught his eye. He watched a comet zip across the dark blue sky.

_It's been a while since I last saw a shootin' star... I should make a wish. ...but for what? All the important ones came true after Ganondorf got murked._

That wasn't exactly true as Link suddenly thought of something.

_Nah... actually... I wish Mario and Luigi stayed for, like... a day at least. Just so we could flaunt our greatness across the land. _A nostalgic grin took control of his face._ We were family... I felt like the third Mario brother. ...Link Mario._ Link laughed to himself with that thought as he imagined himself wearing blue-jean overalls, a black undershirt, and a black cap, matching the brothers's style. _We always looked out for each other. We always had an idea where each one of us was. Now I don't even know where they are. I mean, I know they went home, but I dunno where the hell that is. Other than the available venues in the Smash tournaments, I never explored their home. I even if I wanted to, I can't get there. They can't reach me either... The next time we'll see each other will probably be in the next Smash tournament. Until then, the only time I'll be able to see 'em is in my memories._

All of his memories involving the brothers were important to him, but he spent this time remembering the times where they shined the brightest: in the Coliseum... the Brinstar Depths... Green Hill Zone... Mute City; present and future... Spirit Temple... and probably their greatest moment: during the final battle...

_...why don't I remember that?_ Link was suddenly perplexed. _It didn't happen that long ago... I don't even remember them going off to fight..._

Link went through the final moments of their journey in his head to try to pinpoint exactly when it happened. He only to come to one conclusion...

_...I don't remember anythin' at all... Not even from my battle... It feels like my life skipped a beat. From the moment we left Gerudo Valley to now... nothin'... I don't even remember seein' Mario, Luigi, and Peach off... How the hell could I forget that?_

Link let out another sigh.

"Are you alright?" A voice to his right wondered.

Link turned his head and took a look at his worried companion. Her long blond hair was tied back into a ponytail and rested over her shoulder. Her cerulean eyes looked into Link's with a slight hint of worry, stemming from the fact that they hadn't spoken for a while and Link was sighing to himself often.

"I'm good, Samus-baby. You don't have to look so worried." Link replied.

"Worried? The look I gave you only suggested a slight concern." Samus assured Link.

"Are you kiddin' me? You looked like the world was endin'." Link teased. "'Are you alright, Link?'" He repeated, sitting up to poorly imitate Samus's intelligently-toned voice and over-exaggerating the look in her eyes.

"Please..." Samus said, giving Link a playful shove. "But really, is everything okay?"

"Eh, it's nothin' serious. I guess it's the nostalgia takin' over. I miss my boys." Link admitted, looking down at the perfectly maintained lawn.

"Mario and Luigi..." Samus nodded. "I can only imagine. I never expected you to cry so... hard." Samus couldn't think of a better word to describe it.

"Wait, what?" Link didn't recall this. Because he couldn't... But he played it off like he usually would. "C'mon. We all know I don't cry. My eyes were just burnin' like crazy after the battle, to the point where I had to scream to drown out the pain." Link played it off.

"Link, it's okay. You're not any less of a man if you cry." Samus guaranteed Link, caressing his hair as she spoke. "Besides, you can't tell me what I saw. It was sweet. ...though vaguely disgusting." She added. "But not because you were crying for the brothers. There was just a lot of... snot... falling from your nose... Even the brothers looked slightly uneasy during your final embrace."

"I just can't win..." Link sighed in defeat, shaking his head. "When I try to convince peeps I don't cry, they keep sayin' that I do. Alright, I'll admit it once and for all. _I cry passionately._ And even after I admit it, I still can't win because it's 'disgusting'." He mocked Samus's tone once again. "I'm sorry my mucus membranes go into overdrive when the tears start fallin'. I can't do anythin' about that." Link sarcastically apologized.

Samus just laughed. "Your tantrums always make me smile."

"Hmph." Link huffed.

She replied by giving Link a kiss on the cheek. Link just let his head drop against his knees.

"Why do you make it so hard to stay mad at you?" Link whined.

Samus rested her head on Link's shoulder. Link rested his head on top of Samus's. With their rate of respiration in perfect harmony, they simply gazed off into the distance, not looking at anything in particular. They were just more than content to be with each other.

Even though he didn't show it, this was a huge deal for Link. Before Samus asked him if he was alright, Link had no idea she was even in his vicinity. But upon seeing her face, instead of flipping out in sheer astonishment, he suddenly felt like he knew she was there with him all along. It certainly seemed like Samus was there for a long time, possibly as far back as when Link was facing off against Ganondorf. Link decided now would be the best time to get a few of his questions answered inconspicuously.

His first step: wrapping his arms around Samus and planting a long-overdue wet kiss on Samus's lips. Link then smiled at his breath-taken girlfriend.

"That was... unexpected." Samus stated.

"But you can't say you didn't like it." Link said with a confident smile.

Though she looked away from him, she smiled because it was true.

"I'm just makin' sure this is real." Link then mentioned, looking down.

"What do you mean?"

"A lotta stuff happened, Samus. I guess I'm overwhelmed by everythin'. All of this almost feels unreal. Especially you bein' here." Link looked up into Samus's eyes. "You were the last person I was expectin'. I actually thought I wouldn't be seein' you again until the next tournament. You know, with the way things were for both of us."

Samus nodded. "It's strange... Even I can't truly explain why I'm here." She admitted. "A force I can't describe just led me here. There was no arguing with what I felt. I was obligated to be here, and I couldn't be late. Seems I was right in being punctual. When I entered the planet's atmosphere, Ganondorf surprised you with some sort of magic. It didn't do any physical harm to you, but it changed your tunic from black to green. I didn't understand its effect at first, but it gradually became clear that you were a lot weaker than before."

Link suddenly felt something different about him. He took a quick look at himself. He definitely was wearing a green tunic... He didn't want to jump to conclusions, but the last time he wore a green tunic was before he fought in that plot-hole in the Darkness of Time. He didn't make it obvious, but he attempted to summon the Sword of Darkness. Nothing... Going by what Samus described, Ganondorf somehow managed to rob Link of his darkness powers.

"You looked as if Ganondorf stole your key to victory. That's when I felt I had to make my surprise guest appearance, as you'd like to call it." Samus said with a smile. "I quickly landed my ship and made it just in time to your rescue."

"How'd you beat him? The only way Ganondorf can truly be defeated is if you have the Light arrows." Link said.

"I was fully aware of that. I had to make due with what I had, though: my Light beam." Samus said. "It was more than adequate. In fact, I nearly killed him with one fully-charged Sunburst."

"Light always disperses the darkness regardless of what form it takes." Link nodded, finally understanding how Ganondorf lost.

Samus smiled. "Since when did you say such noble lore?"

"I'm deep like that, baby." Link said with a wink.

She laughed. "But it's a shame." Samus shook her head. "I remember him from the Smash tournament. I may not have spoken to him often, but I did respect him. He was a formidable rival. Even after reading his tournament biography, I never would've expected him to be _that_ villainous. The man I read about did not match the man I met in the tournament. In fact, the worst thing I can say about Ganondorf is that he had an overbearing amount of confidence."

"You can kinda blame that on me." Link said. "Back when Ganondorf decided to calm down on the evil, we were friends. We were both gonna be in the Smash tournament, so we decided to analyze my old matches to see where I went wrong and how I could get better. Ganondorf saw two things right off the bat. First, I couldn't jump to save my life. Literally. Almost every close match I lost was because I couldn't get enough air to reach that ledge. The other thing wasn't that obvious: it was my attitude."

"I didn't see anything wrong with your demeanor back then." Samus said.

"That's because on the outside, I was like you: I didn't say much of anythin' to anyone. It may've worked for you, but the reason I was so quiet was because I was always nervous. I had a title to live up to; the title of a _legend_. I never got any sleep because I was always worryin' about the next match and how I was gonna prove myself. And I proved to be hot garbage. I was losin' to Pokemon! Ridiculously cute little two-foot monsters were murkin' the Hero of Time!"

"That _is_ pretty embarrassing." Samus admitted.

"Yep. Ganondorf blamed my ill losin' streak on my attitude. Bein' the strong, silent type definitely doesn't work for me." Link continued. "Especially since I was about as strong as a Deku Scrub... So I decided to go for the complete opposite: blatant and outspoken arrogance. It was all part of my grand master plan. I wanted to piss my opponents off to the point where all they could think about was beatin' the crap outta me. When you're that mad, you can't think straight, and of course, with my cockiness keepin' me cool and collected, I'd be murkin' peeps left and right. And just when I thought that was the alpha and omega, Ganondorf came through and added heavy slang to the mix. That was what we called 'magic', baby. And it worked like a freakin' charm. Especially against Marth. That guy really hated me." He remembered.

"But neither of you made it to the final round." Samus recalled.

"I did make it a lot further than I did in the first tournament, though, right? Add that to the fact that the number of participants doubled since the last tournament. I'd call that a win for me, baby." Link pointed out. "And Ganondorf made it all the way to the semifinals. That's pretty damn good for his first time in the Smash tourneys. And that's just the beginnin'. I dunno if we're gonna collaborate on a winnin' strategy this time, but you know we're not quittin' with what we already came up with. Like wine, it's only gonna get better as time goes on. Don't be surprised if it's me versus Ganondorf in the finals."

"I actually would be." Samus said. "If my plan for this tournament doesn't guarantee me a spot in the final round, then I just might adopt your strategy."

Link let out a hearty chuckle. "I can't imagine you talkin' like me. That'd be kinda funny, though."

"Ain't nothin' funny about that, homie." Samus smoothly spoke, with an authentic accent straight from the streets.

Link was blown away, to say the least.

"I'm fluent in _many_ dialects, Link." Samus said with a satisfied and confident smile.

"I... love you." Link uttered, still awestruck.

"The feeling's mutual." Samus replied with a grin.

After giving Samus an appreciative smile, Link put his hands behind his head and lied back down on the grass, looking into the sky again. Samus lied close to him, causing Link to free an arm so he could wrap it around her. They gazed into the sky, mesmerized by the marvels of the Hylian night.

Even though she had personally traveled through that night sky, Samus had to admit that it looked even more spectacular when looking up to it, especially with a loved one by her side. The constellations... many of which she'd never seen before. The hue of the sky... a very picturesque midnight blue. The entire environment was like something she'd see in a perfectionist's art book.

Suddenly, Samus started laughing softly.

"Somethin' funny?" Link wondered.

"I strive to gain at least a general understanding of nearly everything I encounter or will ever have to encounter, and yet I will never understand how Fate works." Samus said.

"What brings that up?" Link wondered.

"As a bounty hunter... you tend to believe you'll never experience anything like love, as it could be considered a weakness. I want my foes to believe I have no weaknesses, therefore I promised myself I'd never fall in love. But there were times when I would let my mind wander into the subject. Whenever I'd imagine the man I'd love, I never would've expected him to be anything like you." She followed up with another soft laugh. "You can be very childish and cocky, sometimes."

Link started with a slow exhale. "I can deal with bein' called cocky. But childish? Are you kiddin' me?" Link raised an offended eyebrow. "I'm a man, baby. I'm _the_ man! I'm the Hero of Time!" Link's gallant fanfare blared throughout the relative silence of the night right on cue.

"No, trust me, Link, you can be extremely childish, sometimes. But amazingly, that's what I love about you." Samus warmly admitted. "I'm glad you're not what I imagined. I don't think I would've been truly been happy if I had gotten what I wanted. I would've known how he'd act, I would've known exactly what to expect from him... It would've been a monotonous and boring experience. There'd be no random element to make the relationship... fun. With you, I'm having a lot of fun. And that's something I don't get to have very often." She said with an appreciative smile. "Maybe 'childish' isn't the right word to describe you."

"You can't describe me with just one word. Normally, guys need at least a paragraph." Link boasted. "...but since you're my girl, I'll let you get away with just a sentence."

Samus laughed. "I'll say you're young at heart, and you'll be this way regardless of how old you are or who you're with. I have deep respect for a man who can unconditionally be himself."

Link didn't know what to say after hearing such kind and meaningful words from Samus. Even though it didn't truly express how much he appreciated it, Link locked Samus in a tight embrace. Samus returned Link's affection by wrapping her arms around his body. They remained like that for a little while, unable to comprehend anything else other than just resting in each other's arms. To them, it just felt so perfect...

"Link?" Samus softly called after a while, though reluctantly. She didn't want to break that moment of perfection.

"Yeah?" He replied promptly.

Samus didn't respond right away, mainly because what she wasn't sure if this was the right time to ask the question she was about to raise.

Link was caught off-guard by Samus's delay. _Samus never hesitates_, Link thought to himself. He put a new hold on her: with his hands consolingly holding her shoulders instead of his arms affectionately around her body.

"What wrong, Samus?" Link inquired.

Her hesitant eyes met with Link's concerned ones. "I'm not even sure I should ask this question. It's very personal... and I don't want to pry too deeply into your past."

"You're my girl, right?" Link asked, knowing fully well that Samus knew the answer. "It's cool. You can chat with me about anythin'."

"Including your previous relationship?"

Link's face involuntarily grimaced. Samus was right; she shouldn't have asked. Zelda was the furthest thing from Link's mind, and though he felt he had rebounded pretty well from the incredible heartbreak she put him through, remembering it reawakened those sour feelings and that regretful void in his stomach.

"The look on your face strongly suggests I shouldn't." Samus noticed.

"Ignore that." Link assured her, forcing himself to relax his look. "It's just that thinkin' about what happened to me and Zelda still hits pretty hard."

"What exactly did happen? According to your Smash profiles, you two have been friends since childhood." Samus remembered. "And from the way you two acted during the tournament, it looked like you two were the perfect match."

"We were, back then." Link said. "I loved her and she loved me. That was all there was to it. It was great."

"But..."

Link let out a sigh. "...things started changin' after we got home from the tournament. She was gradually gettin' more and more..." He paused for a second, thinking of how to describe the situation. "Okay, you know how in most relationships, someone's clearly wearin' the pants?"

Samus nodded.

"Well, me and Zelda used to share the same pair of overalls. There was no clear 'man' of the relationship." Link said. "But I guess Zelda got tired of sharin'. She started shoppin' for her own fresh pair of jeans and a revealin' miniskirt for me."

"Interesting metaphor." Samus commented.

"Thanks." Link nodded. "So yeah, Zelda wanted more authority in the relationship and, at first, I couldn't figure out why. I thought we were happy with what we had. I was rackin' my brain tryin' to figure out where we went wrong. Then I remembered somethin': even though her bein' a sage would never suggest it, Zelda can be crazy impressionable. Of course, not when it comes to her duties as a sage, but when it comes to everyday dealin's in life, it's easy to steer her in the wrong direction. I guess it's because the sheltered life of a princess doesn't do too much for your street smarts."

Samus nodded in agreement.

"And remember when we all found out Zelda was a _really_ good fighter in the tournament?" Link reminded Samus, who promptly nodded again. "Guys like Roy and Ness did nothin' else but try to convince me and Zelda that she was gonna be the man of the relationship after the tournaments were over. Even Ganondorf would get in on the act, and when he did, he always had the worst stuff to say. I was always shruggin' them off, and I thought Zelda was, too, but I guess she took it to heart. And when she beat me for my spot in the finals without even losin' a stock..." He shook his head, not even needing to say that was the final nail in the coffin. "So after I finally figured it out, I had to let her know the BS had to stop. It happened in a Smash environment, where we were all more-or-less equal to each other in pros and cons, plus it wasn't even her that beat me. Sheik is a cheap bastard!"

"I'm guessing it didn't help." Samus said.

"Nope. I just sounded more and more like the naggin' girlfriend of the relationship." Link shook his head. "I couldn't win with her, so there was just one thing left for me to do: break it off."

"How did she cope with it?" Samus wondered.

Link's blood turned ice in his veins. This is what he feared most ever since he got together with her back in Zebes. He didn't make it obvious, but he directed his eyes away from Samus's face. Samus didn't miss a beat, though. Years and years of being best bounty hunter in existence (as some would say) made her very observant. Something was wrong.

"Link?" She asked.

He wanted to look her in the eye while telling her, but he felt so ashamed that he was in this situation. He couldn't make eye contact.

"...we never officially broke up..." Link muttered meekly.

Samus was admittedly surprised when she heard Link's words, as her eyes widened just a little, though noticeably.

"But that doesn't mean I was never gonna make it official!" Link quickly added in after seeing Samus's face. "Ganondorf kidnapped her before I was able to do anythin'."

A wave of relief swept over Samus. She was slightly surprised by this; it wasn't like her to be so easily excited or to jump to conclusions. _This must be what love does to you_, she thought to herself.

"So after you rescued her, did you call it off?" Samus knew the answer, but just wanted that bit of verification.

"I didn't have to." Link said. "Zelda knows damn-well the relationship's dead now. Not just the relationship, but our friendship, too. All ten years of it. If she thinks it can be salvaged after the BS she did..." Link's rising anger didn't even let him finish his statement.

"How can ten years of friendship be destroyed?" Samus was surprised that things between them were _that_ bad.

"She cheated on me. Nah, eff that. She took my heart and did the freakin' Goron Gambol on it. ...with fuckin' Ganondorf." Link's voice faltered a bit.

Samus was shocked. She always held Zelda in high regards, not only because she was a princess, but because there was just an elegant aura around her that made it so that you couldn't help but respect her. How someone like Zelda could destroy half a lifetime of friendship for just a few minutes of questionable pleasure with a man that threatened to transform her homeland into a twisted shadow of its former grandeur was way beyond her mind capacity, and people have described Samus to be among her galaxy's most intelligent beings. This was just something she would never be able to understand.

But after hearing a soft weep from Link and catching a stray tear slide down his cheek, Samus immediately understood one thing: Link needed to be consoled. But she had no idea how someone could be comforted after something like that. Even with Samus's impressive resume, offering solace actually wasn't something she had a lot of knowledge in.

Ignoring that fact, Samus started by cradling Link's head against her chest, gently and comfortingly caressing his hair.

"I don't know if any consolation I could offer would help the pain go away... but I just want you to know that I will never put you through anything like that. Nobody deserves that type of mistreatment." Samus said, following with a kiss to Link's head. "I'm sorry for bringing this up."

Link sat up and rose to his knees, looking down at Samus as he put a loving hand on her cheek while hugging her with his free arm.

"You don't have to be sorry about anythin'." He said as he gazed deeply into her eyes.

_Godamnit, I love her_, he thought to himself not only at that moment, but with every time they locked eyes.

Once again, Link bought his lips to Samus's so they could share another kiss. It felt like their first kiss all over again, as they were consumed by an explosion of emotions. With every second they spent in that lip lock, their passion for each other grew more and more intense. Link could think of nothing else than laying Samus on her back and making her feel something she'd never felt before. Samus may have been many places, but Link knew for certain he would be able to take her somewhere she'd never been: pure ecstasy.

"I'm gonna have to stop you right there, Link." He heard a voice say before he could even let his hands wander. A rough tug at his tunic collar also made sure that any plans of intimacy were killed off as the two were separated.

Link slapped off the hand pulling at his collar and jumped to his feet. The unfettered rage he felt convinced him the only possible way to deal with this offender was to mutilate him as violently and painfully as he could possibly could. But with one look at him, all of Link's anger vanished instantly, replaced by utter disbelief and mind-numbing shock.

Samus found herself in a state of awe as well. She could almost say she was seeing double, as their uninvited guest matched Link almost perfectly in appearance. _Almost_ perfectly because where Link's hair was blond, his was black; where Link's tunic was green, his was black; where Link's boots were brown, his was black. He adorned a shade of black everywhere on his body except his eyes, which shined a bright, almost threatening red. Quite simply, Samus could describe him as Link's literal dark-side.

"Link?" Samus wanted an answer from him, but Link was still too stunned to even speak.

"Close, Samus-baby, close. I guess you could call me Link, since we're almost the same person." The black-shrouded individual answered with a smile.

"I wasn't speaking to you." Samus spat.

"But you want your question answered, right? I'm guessing that question is 'who is he?' Well, I'm dark as hell... I look like Link... a _lot_ like Link... I guess you could call me... Dark Link!" He introduced himself.

"Dark Link..." Link repeated with a growl, finally snapping out of his stupefaction.

"What do you want?" Samus demanded.

"I just wanna chat with your boyfriend real quick. It won't even take a second, I promise." Dark Link held his right hand over his heart and his left up.

"Then speak." Samus ordered.

"I kinda wanted to speak to him alone." Dark Link mentioned.

"Whatever you have to say can be said in front of Samus." Link stated.

"If you think I'm here to try to hurt you, that's not the plan." Dark Link said. "Just hear me out. I got a lotta things to say that you'll definitely wanna hear. It's all confidential, though, which is why Ms. Aran has to go."

"I'm sorry, but I'm not going anywhere." Samus refused. "There's something about you that I don't trust. ...that I _can't_ trust."

"Guys, for real, I'm trying to do things diplomatically for once." Dark Link sighed. "I can easily make you leave, Samus, but I don't wanna go there. It'll be that much harder to talk to Link if I take it to that level."

Samus stepped forward, daring Dark Link to do something. "If you must, then so be it. I'm not backing down."

A grin crept up on Dark Link's face. "That's cute, Link. Samus is about to fight me to stay with you. I'm really serious, though. I know it's hard you two to believe, but trust me when I say there isn't a violent thought in my mind right now."

"Trust me when I say there's _all types_ of violent thoughts running through our minds; all of them involve me and Samus tag-team pummeling your ass to death." Link threatened Dark Link while stepping up to Samus and putting an arm around her waist. "Either you chat while Samus is here, or we don't chat at all."

"More like I chat with you Link-to-Link..." Another figure suddenly made an appearance, taking a spot right next to Dark Link. "...and Samus won't find out who she is." He turned his head to her and slid an arm around her waist.

Link felt himself grow sick with a confusion mingled with hint of disgust at the sight. Samus could only wonder what this meant as she felt Link's hand begin to tremble on her waist.

"Link, who is she?" Samus demanded.

He didn't even hear Samus's question. All he could think about was how impossible this was. Never did he ever expect to find himself in a situation like this.

"Dumbfounded." Dark Link stated as he looked at Link. "I guess I could understand. I'd be pretty speechless, too, if my two girlfriends who didn't know each other existed finally met."

"...what?" Samus said. She felt she heard wrong. She _wanted_ to hear wrong.

Dark Link simply nodded as an answer. "Samus..." He turned to his guest, kissing her cheek with an obnoxious and audible "muah". "...meet Raznia. The same way you're supposed to be Link's girlfriend, so is this Gerudian beauty."

She still denied it. It just made no sense to her. Her relationship with Link barely began and he's already sneaking around with other women? How could Link talk about how hurt he was after he learned about Zelda when in the back of his mind he knew he was doing the same exact thing?

Samus turned to Link, who was still staring at Raznia in complete awe. For an optimistic second, before she turned to him, she hoped this was a lie. This was coming from Link's dark copy, after all. But with one look into Link's eyes, she saw it. Guilt. Deep, regretful guilt. Link knew what he did and thought he could get away with it, but unfortunately for him, Fate wasn't having that.

Samus took Link by the wrist that was around her waist and flung it off of her in such a way that it was easy not only to see how deeply offended she was, but also to _feel_ it. With this and two hard blinks, Link finally snapped out of his awe.

"Samus..." Link wanted to try to explain himself, swallowing hard and preparing to apologize.

Samus turned to him, but with a new look in her eyes. No longer was there a warm, loving glow in her cerulean eyes. When Samus looked at Link, he felt his blood freeze from her ice-cold glare; a glare so frigid that it made biting arctic winds seem like gentle tropical breezes.

At that moment, he knew there was no sense in even trying. He did it. He lost her: the girl he loved more than anything, even more than he once did Zelda. And as a way of cementing that fact, Samus's Varia suit covered her body, leaving only her frigid stare viewable through her visors. She didn't even shed a tear.

And with that, she turned her back on Link, heading toward her ship which was remotely prepared for takeoff. After a hop onto her ship and lowering into the cockpit, she was gone. Gone...

"Cheaters never prosper, my man."

Link spun around to face his dark doppelganger. Up until he spoke, he forgot he was even there. Link noticed he was alone, though.

"Where's Raznia?" Link asked in a low, defeated voice.

"Don't worry about it. She was just for show." Dark Link replied.

"Just tell me where she is. I wanna tell her I'm sorry." Link insisted.

"Why? You knew what you were doing and you didn't regret a single minute until now." Dark Link argued.

"I know... But neither of them deserved that." Link said. "I wanted to apologize to Samus, but I can't even look her in the eye without feelin' like complete shit. I have to apologize to Raznia, though. I didn't even remember we had a relationship when I was with Samus. It was like she didn't exist. Raznia deserves better than me."

"Well... I would tell you... but there really isn't any reason to." Dark Link refused.

Link's face screwed up, creating a strange visage of anger mixed with sorrow, regret, and a dash of confusion. He walked up to Dark Link, stopping within an arm's length and grabbing him by the shoulders. Link's grip tightened as he began breathing harder.

"Dark Link..." Link said with a strange growling-sigh.

Before he could continue, Link felt something cold against his right forearm. He glanced at his arm to find an obsidian-colored blade leaning against it. Very gradually, it began pressing against his skin. Link decided to take the hint and let go of Dark Link.

"Thanks." He said. "Now… There's a reason why I'm not taking you to Raz. In fact, there's a reason for _everything_."

"Then stop wastin' my time and tell me." Link demanded. "You have me all to yourself now."

"Well, my man..." Dark Link began, but stopped in mid-sentence. "Actually, I'll let you figure it out. After the clue I give you, it should be really obvious."

Link's patience was already dwindling; needless to say, he was in absolutely no mood to play guessing games.

"Dark Link... I'm just tired of all the bullshit. After what you just did..." Link searched for the words to adequately describe his current state of mind, but figured his failure to complete his sentence ironically said enough. "I don't care what you have to say. Just please leave me alone."

"Trust me, you'll care about this. In fact, everything you find out after this just might cancel out everything that just happened. Do me this favor... this _one single favor_." Dark Link said.

Link truly didn't want to be bothered, but it was clear that Dark Link wasn't going anywhere. What he said earlier seemed to be true, though: he definitely didn't seem interested in confrontation. He had a sword in hand, and even with Link's constant refusal, he only threatened to use it once, barely, and that was because Link took the offensive first. It may have been against his better judgment, but Link decided to play along, if only for a few seconds.

"Talk." Link simply commanded.

Dark Link gave an approving nod. "Thanks. I'll say it again, this won't take long for you to realize. You said you can't remember anything from the final battle, right?"

Link was slightly taken aback by Dark Link knowing this. "Right..." Link verified.

"Well, what do you remember before that?" Dark Link questioned.

Link took a moment to go through his recent past. The only thing he could clearly remember was his time in Gerudo Valley.

"I was in Gerudo Valley." Link replied.

"Specifics, Link, specifics. Before all this... _before_ you found yourself in these fields, what were you doing?" Dark Link urged him to remember.

"Screw this trip down memory lane, Dark Link." Link spat, quickly growing frustrated. "If you have somethin' to tell me, just say it."

"C'mon, man, humor me. I guarantee you won't be mad after you realize everything." Dark Link promised. "What's the last thing you were doing before all this?"

To "humor" Dark Link, Link just closed his eyes as if he was trying hard to remember what happened back then. Somehow, though, the scenes of that day played back in his head: his somehow slim victory over Nightmare, him meeting with the delightful Mida (a memory which made him cringe slightly), and... a power-nap?

"Why do I remember takin' a nap?" Link muttered to himself.

"I heard that!" Dark Link excitedly announced. "What else do you remember?"

Link took another moment to go through anything that happened back then, but that was it.

"That's the last thing I remember..." Link admitted.

"Alrighty, then." Dark Link nodded. "Back to that power-nap... seems pretty insignificant, right? So why remember it? …unless there's some type of connection between that particular event and now. If I'm not mistaken, you feel like your life skipped a few pages, right?"

"Well… yeah." Link said, admittedly surprised Dark Link knew what he was feeling. "It's weird. I swear this is like some type of messed-up dream."

Dark Link just gave Link a smile and a slow, confirming nod after hearing that. Link just gave Dark Link a screwed up look of confusion.

"This is a dream?" Link's eyes went wide in astonishment. "All of this... this is all a dream?"

"Yes, sir." Dark Link verified.

To say Link was shocked would be a massive understatement. On one hand, this was actually excellent news. Neither Samus nor Raznia were really hurt by what he was doing with them. He'd see the Mario brothers again! His new powers were still his. But on the other hand, Ganondorf and Bowser still had control over Hyrule...

"I... I can't... I can't believe this..." Link stammered, not knowing how to express his feelings at the moment.

"Yeah, I can tell. This was a pretty realistic dream." Dark Link said. "But you know that's not all I came here to tell you, right?"

Link only raised an eyebrow in response.

"C'mon, you should've known that. First of all, how pointless would that be? All that suspense for me just to tell you this is a dream. Kinda anticlimactic... Second of all, you know when you realize you're dreaming, you wake up, right?"

Link nodded.

"So then why are we still here?" Dark Link stated with a shrug.

Link realized this was very true. Under normal circumstances, Link would've been wide awake, on his way to tell Mario about how ridiculous his dream was. Under _normal_ circumstances, of course. And with the way things have been going, this dream was anything but normal, Link determined. He took a suspicious look at Dark Link. Dark Link just looked back with an oblivious grin.

"This has somethin' to do with you, doesn't it?" Link suggested.

Dark Link was beaming at this point; a huge grin that belied the innocent smirk from before. If there was such a thing as bright darkness, he could prove it with his smile.

"I won't make you figure things out anymore. I'll tell you everything. On one condition..." Dark Link paused.

"What?" Link wondered, slightly wary of Dark Link's stipulation.

"Trust me." Dark Link stated clearly.

"Trust..." Link could only repeat the first word. The entire concept of Dark Link wishing for his trust was just mind-bending.

"Yeah. The same way you trust Mario... the same way you trust Luigi... the same way you trust all your close friends. I want you to trust me." Dark Link clarified, painting a picture as clear as the night sky.

"...why?" Link could only ask. This may have been a dream, but even so, this whole event was going beyond surreal.

"First, you have to trust me." Dark Link maintained.

Link just stayed silent. He still couldn't believe what he was hearing: Dark Link... asking for friendship? More importantly, _trust_? Link would sooner give his heart back to Zelda than even fathom becoming friends with Dark Link.

"I don't know what made you wanna ask this, but you gotta realize you're askin' for a lot. Hell, you're basically askin' for the world." Link asserted. "Do you remember what you did to me? You remember what you _have done_ to me? Did you know that you almost _killed me_ back in the Darkness of Time? And after all that, you want to be my friend? You want me to trust you? How can I? Seriously."

Dark Link just shook his head. "I gotta point out the hypocrisy of that speech. You're friends with Ganondorf. Game, set, and match."

"That's different, and admittedly, that was a mistake." Link said. "You know the sayin' 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer'? I figured, 'but what if your enemy was your friend?' I don't think I gotta tell you I'm never doin' that again."

"Hold on a second. I'm gonna tell you where you have it all wrong..." Dark Link said. "The friend part. I'm not asking for your trust so we can be friends. Take this as you will, but I'm not really interested in being your friend. This is way bigger than being pals. I'm asking for your trust out of necessity. We _need_ to trust each other. In fact, I'm gonna bet that if we can't do that, we won't live past tomorrow."

"What are you talkin' about?" Link's face grimaced into a look of perplexity. "Did you forget that this is a dream? You don't exist. In real life, you're dead! I _killed you_."

"And I can imagine you giving yourself a nice pat on the back for overcoming the odds. You know what? Here's one from me." Dark Link stepped up to Link with his arm extended, reaching for Link's back.

"Don't..." Link took a defensive step back, raising his fist.

"Link..." Dark Link grew slightly disheartened. "Even though I said I'm not interested in being cool with you, I'm still trying. I'm _really_ trying, man. You can see that. It'd be so much easier on both of us if we were on that level."

"Why?" Link demanded. "I'm not backin' down from this. You gotta tell me why I should trust you. You gotta tell me why we should be friends. _I'll_ decide if it's really necessary."

This was the first time since his arrival that Dark Link actually grew frustrated. He held his sword in both hands; the hilt in the left, and the face of the blade in the right, audibly breathing out from time to time. This had Link on edge. Dark Link may've said he wasn't there for violence, but with him acting the way he was, Link didn't know what to expect.

Dark Link then held his sword in one hand, almost as if he was assuming an attacking stance. Link was expecting him to come at him with a killing blow, and even though he knew he wouldn't be able to beat him this time, he wouldn't go out without trying.

But to Link's astonishment, Dark Link hurled his weapon away, as far as he could possibly manage. Link could only stare in awe at his dark copy.

"What reasons are left, Link?" Dark Link asked. "I'm like you now. I'm unarmed. I'm helpless. I had an advantage, and I just threw it away. Willingly. What's left, Link? What more do I have to do to get you to trust me?"

Link was left speechless. He just didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. The only thing that kept him conscious was the fact that this was still just a dream. But then again, he wasn't exactly conscious... That quite possibly could've been the real reason he was able to handle this.

Just then, Dark Link extended his arm and held out his hand.

_A handshake..._ Link knew exactly what he wanted. But if he did this, it would basically mean everything Dark Link ever did to him would be forgiven.

"Link, I know what you're thinking. I know it's hard for you to just forget about everything I did." Dark Link said. "But the second you shake my hand is the second everything will make sense." He bought his hand a little closer to Link. "Come on. Please, Link. Trust me."

Link just continued to stare at Dark Link's hand in front of him. He could only ask himself one question:

_Farore, _w_hat the hell am I supposed to do?_

He knew the obvious answer: accept Dark Link's gesture and hope for the best. But with Link's current track record of things working out for him, he was understandably wary. But then again, when he considered Dark Link's demeanor from the moment he arrived, there was an unmistakable change in him. That animosity... that hatred... that anger Dark Link permeated was nonexistent. In fact, if he chose another way to make an entrance, Link might've actually enjoyed his presence.

And with that realization, Link finally made his decision. Though hesitant, Link raised his hand and drew it closer and closer to Dark Link's until they finally met. Link did it. He sealed the deal with Dark Link and shook his hand.

"I gotta tell you, though..." Dark Link began with a smile. "If you held out any longer, I probably would've told you everything anyway. But don't think this right here isn't pivotal." He said, still holding Link's hand in that handshake position. "You're trusting me without even hearing everything I have to say. For all you know, I could be just doing this to get you in a vulnerable position so I can get my sword back and finish you."

"You know how pissed I'll be if you do that?" Link said.

"I have a vague idea." Dark Link smiled. "But you don't have to worry that happening. If I kill you, I'll be killing myself."

Link couldn't remember the last dream that had his face constantly twisting up in confusion, bewilderment, and befuddlement in that specific order. "That doesn't make any sense. You're already dead, Dark Link. Why do you keep talkin' like you're still alive?" He wondered.

"Because I _am_ still alive."

Being caught so dumbfounded was already becoming annoying, but Link started to realize that it was also pretty exhausting.

"You're probably tired of getting stunned every minute. Hell, you're probably tired of dreaming. After this last revelation, you'll wake up." Dark Link promised.

"I think I'll sit down for this." Link said, preparing to take a seat on the gentle rolling plains.

"You can... but I'm gonna need a brave volunteer from the audience to help me with this last part..." Dark Link said.

"Fine..." Link groaned, standing straight after taking the hint.

Dark Link stared at Link for a second, as if he was figuring out something. Link just stood by idly, waiting for further instruction.

"On second thought... why don't you have a SEAT!" Dark Link suddenly shoved Link to the ground before completing his sentence.

Link just looked up at him like he was crazy. Dark Link just smiled back as if everything was fine.

"What the hell was that?" Link demanded.

"Calm down, I'm just playing around." Dark Link said.

Admittedly, a wave of relief swept over Link. He took Dark Link's action as an attack, and he was definitely planning to counter with nuclear force.

"If we're gonna trust each other, then I gotta tell you about rule number one: no rough-housin'. That shit just doesn't fly." Link stated.

"Alright, sorry. Lemme help you up, then." Dark Link said, extending a helpful hand.

Link grabbed on and was waiting for Dark Link to pull him up. But instead of helping Link to his feet, Dark Link's hand looked as if it was melting; the black remnants of it seeping into Link's skin. Link tried to pull his arm back, but somehow, Dark Link had a firm grip on him. Soon, both Links were linked at the arm.

At that point, Dark Link looked into Link's wide and fearful eyes. Suddenly, the whole process was accelerated tenfold. Dark Link's entire body dissolved and enveloped Link in an inescapable veil of darkness. Link felt like he couldn't breathe; fighting with everything he had to find a way out. It was all useless; the more he fought, the darker it got until all perception of reality was lost. He kept telling himself this was a dream, but the way he felt himself struggle suggested otherwise.

Just as he was about to give up, a bright ray of light broke through his pitch-black prison. The darkness was gone, and in its place, the beautiful Hylian night smiled down on him. Link rose to his feet, checking himself for any unseen or unfelt injuries he may've had. Almost immediately, though, Link's concern for his injuries flew out the window as he noticed his arms were suddenly very-well defined. He also realized that he felt much stronger than he did before.

Throughout all of his findings, though, Link couldn't help but feel this was all very familiar... With a glance down at his tunic, his suspicions were confirmed: his tunic was no longer Kokiri green, but once again donned the same shade of black it did after his ordeal in the Darkness of Time. He could only guess his hood also had a new black color, too.

As a final check, just to be beyond sure, Link held out his arms and closed his eyes, concentrating on the power he felt inside and willing it to manifest itself into a physical form. It worked as he felt two new objects form in his hands. In his right, there was pentagonal shield with a black outline and a strange slit in the center of the handless clock design of its silver face. In his left, there was an obsidian-colored blade with a silver hilt: the Sword of Darkness.

_"The pieces of the puzzle fit just right, don't they?"_

Upon hearing that voice, Link just smiled as he shook his head in disbelief. He couldn't believe he didn't figure it out sooner. He had weapons, a tunic, and powers based on darkness, then to top it all off, a voice in his head suddenly appears, claiming it's his conscience, and he still wrote it all off as a big coincidence.

_I can't believe I didn't figure this out sooner. All this time, Dark Link... All this time... My sword... my shield... my powers..._

_"It all used to be mine. Well... they still are mine, but now I'm forced to share."_

_You planned all this, didn't you? To put an open wound in me and invade so you could escape the Darkness of Time._

_"I'm glad you're giving me so much credit, but for real, my original plan was just to kill you. But, of course, you couldn't let it be so simple. You had to fight back. Fine. I could've dealt with that. __But you had to win, too? You had to kill my physical form and leave my helpless essence alive?"_

_That wasn't part of my plan. My plan was to kill you, too._

_"Great minds think alike, huh?"_

_Heh._

_"I have to let you know, though, you can't treat my powers like a commodity. In fact, it might be better if you acted like you didn't have 'em at all."_

_Why? With you and me on the same team, who can touch us? Even Ganondorf would fear us!_

_"I know, but we're both running huge risks if you use my powers too much."_

_How much is too much?_

_"Well... you can't run around and summon your sword and shield just to impress your girlfriend(s) anymore. In fact, the most powerful thing you can do is use my sword and shield the same way you used the Master Sword and the Hylian shield."_

_What the hell?! That's barely anything!_

_"Sorry, man, but that's how it has to be. I'm pretty resourceful with the scraps that I'm given and every little movement you do that involves my power somehow will go towards the old, evil, harbinger-of-death me. I'm actually surprised we're still alive to have this talk. You haven't held anything back ever since you got these powers. I guess you macked me harder than I thought."_

_Wait... there's two sides to you?_

_"I'm a complicated dude, Link. What you saw in the Darkness of Time... and basically every other time before that... only understands anger and rage. Even though it physically looks like you, it's pretty primal: like a violent animal. You didn't really 'kill' it, though. You weakened it enough so I could take over: the logic inside; the part that actually thinks. But I can't survive on my own. I need a body."_

_Like a parasite._

_"Thanks for making my existence seem so elegant. Anyway, if the old me wakes up, he's gonna find a way out. ...and you'll die..."_

_...wow..._

_"Yeah... I _did _inflict a mortal wound, and you would've died eventually. You're still alive because I'm keeping that wound closed. If I leave, you're screwed."_

_But you're screwed, too, aren't you? You keep sayin' we need each other to live._

_"Yep. You dealt a fatal blow to me, too. No matter what form I take, if I leave your body, I'm gonna die. Not as painfully or messily as you will, though, believe that."_

_I knew these powers had to have a catch. There's always fine print..._

_"Sorry, but you have to know about this. You also have to know that you can't, under any circumstances, tell anyone about me."  
__  
Not even Mario and Luigi?_

_"Especially Mario and Luigi. After I was done with you, I had every intention of killing them and I'm sure they know that. There's gonna be that air of uncertainty and mistrust if they know about me. Just do us both a favor and don't say anything."_

_But my people are understandin'. I trust them. They'll still look at me the same way._

_"Link, please. I'm not doubting them. I just don't wanna take the chance, get it? We'll both be better off if we're the only two that know about our situation."_

_But--_

_"LINK. You shook my hand because you trusted me. Now prove it."_

_...alright, fine. We'll do it your way._

_"Thank you."_

_Can I wake up now? This has gotta be the worst dream I've ever had._

_"Yeah, go ahead. OH!! This is probably the last time you'll be able to do this: check out the shield's eye one last time. It feels like it's ope--"_

Dark Link never got to finish his sentence as Link suddenly felt a sharp squeeze on his right shoulder, sending up a wave of excruciating pain so great that it threatened to redefine "agony". The resulting scream could've bent reality if it was possible. Instead, it violently ripped Link out of his dream and threw him back into reality, where he was writhing in pain in his bed, gripping his shoulder tenderly. Standing over him was the one responsible for his anguish: Mida.

"It didn't have to be so painful." She said, shaking her head.

Link glared at his Gerudian offender with malicious intents, finding it hard to control his heavy, angry breaths.

"What... _the fuck_... is your problem?" Link asked, sitting up in his bed and still gripping his shoulder in pain.

"You wouldn't wake up when I told you to, so I had to _make_ you do it." Mida replied as if anyone in her position would do the same exact thing.

Link continued his glare while his lip involuntarily curled in deep anger.

_"It's like you left one nightmare to wake up in another..."_

_I hate her... so much._

"Mida... you're _seriously_ pissin' me off." Link stated. "I dunno who you're tryin' to impress with this bullshit you're pullin'. It's not cute at all."

"I'm not trying to impress anyone. I do what I need to do when I need to do it." Mida said matter-of-factly.

On the inside, Link could think about no other reply than slapping this girl senseless. She had a smart-ass response for _everything_, and not only that, she said it like she was unquestionably correct. She would dare you to prove her wrong.

On the outside, Link could only close his eyes and heavily breath out, forcing himself to withstand Mida's presence for just a little longer. He hoped to his three goddesses that she wouldn't say anything else that'd cause him to snap. ...her neck.

"Why... are you here?" Link forced himself into a calm tone, trying his best to hold back his irritation.

"Trust me; I'm not the type that visits people for no reason." Mida assured him.

Suddenly, she whipped out a rolled-up article of clothing she had been holding behind her. She let it uncurl and held it against her slender body. Link's state of mind completely switched, going from irate aggravation to heart-skipping awe.

"Like what you see?" Mida asked with a slight smile creeping onto her face as she watched Link's reaction.

"Wow..." He was struck speechless. "That... looks great." He admitted. "Might be a little tight, though."

"So? It's to accentuate the curves. Duh..." Mida said with a wink, as if it was obvious.

"Yeah, right." Link rolled his eyes. "I just have one complaint." He started, motioning Mida to come closer so he could feel the material. "...green?" Link muttered, making a disappointed face at his new Hylian tunic.

"What's wrong with green?" Mida wondered, handing over the shirt. "Didn't you used to wear green all the time?"

"Key words: _used to_. It's a new year, it's a new me, and I got a new color: black with the silver linings. ...too cool for words." Link shook his head, reminiscing about the not-so old times.

"Well, you're back to green with the green linings. Just be thankful we even got you some fresh, new clothes." Mida said.

"Who's 'we'?" Link wondered.

"Me, Nabooru, and Raznia." She replied. "The rest of your outfit is right there." She pointed to a new matching green hood and off-white pants resting on a chair, and his brown boots by the door. "Hurry up and get dressed. Nabooru and Raznia want to see you."

"I was kinda plannin' on seein' Mario and Luigi, first." Link said.

"You'd be wasting your time. They're not even here." Mida said.

"What?" Link's face was twisted in confusion.

"They're. Not. Here." Mida spelled out each word as if Link had a learning disability. "Why are you so worried about them? I told you they were fine, right? They probably just went to stretch their legs or something."

"Did _anyone_ see them?" Link wondered.

"Nadee said something about seeing a funny-looking guy in red hanging around the Training Grounds. He probably didn't stick around for long, though. The Training Grounds was destroyed, remember?" Mida reminded Link. "Like I said, don't worry about them. They're not kids, so they'll be fine. I'm sure they wouldn't leave without you, anyway."

"True..." Link agreed. But even so, he still couldn't shake that foreboding feeling he had...

"I'm glad we agree. Now get dressed." Mida commanded.

Link was just about to step out of his bed to start his routine, but he hesitated. There was a problem...

"What are you waiting for?" Mida said, growing agitated.

"You to leave." Link immediately stated.

Mida shook her head. "What difference does it make? You have nothing to hide from me." She pointed out.

"Doesn't matter. My dignity's still here, Mida." Link stated, pounding his chest. "If you're gonna watch me get dressed, I gotta watch you undress. Deal?"

"In your dreams, Link." Mida crossed her arms while rolling her eyes.

"Then be gone. This ain't a peep show." Link said, pointing to the door.

Link was expecting Mida's typical stubbornness to keep her in the room and continue to piss him off with just her presence, but instead...

"Fine." She said with a slight shrug. "Seeing too much of a good thing makes it bad, anyway." Mida finally left the room. She even closed the door as an added bonus.

"_Thank you_, Din." Link sighed in relief, looking upward appreciatively and finally got on his feet for the first time in a while. His legs felt wobbly and he felt a slight case of vertigo from standing vertical once again. He began the dress-up routine by starting with his pants.

_"Wow. She actually complied. Ten points."_

_It was either that, or it was about to get real violent. I really can't stand that girl._

_"You know what I think? I think she needs a stern talking to."_

_...I know you don't mean with words..._

_"You know me so well. Of course I mean pillow-talk."_

_Well, I won't be the one to do that. Just thinkin' about it demeans my soul._

_"That's sad, especially since you'd be the best man for the job. I think she has a thing for you."_

_Too bad I don't give two damns. I'll go out with you before I go out with Mida._

_"Well, I'm kind of a part of you, so you really can't help--"_

_You know what I mean!_

"You dressed yet?" Mida called from behind the closed door.

"It hasn't even been a godamn minute..." Link muttered to himself. "I'll be out when I'm done. Chill the hell out." He called back.

"Two minutes, then I'm coming in, regardless." Mida warned.

Link just sighed in frustration as he continued to get dressed.

_"Hey, don't forget to check your shield."_

_Oh yeah._

Only half-dressed with a pair of pants, Link held his arm out and summoned his shield. His source of protection greeted him with a wide-opened, bloodshot gaze.

"That can't be good..." Link muttered to himself.

_"Not even a little bit... This has to be about the brothers."_

_I pray to Din it doesn't, but with my luck..._

_"What are we gonna do about Mida..."_

_Screw Mida! Nabi and Raz will understand if I'm a little late, but Mida's too damn stubborn to even listen._

_"How're you gonna deal with her, then?"_

_I'm just gonna punch her in the face if she gets in my way._

_"I know you can do better than that. Whatever you decide has to be quick, though. Two minutes is almost up. Take any window of opportunity you have."_

_I'm so glad you said that._

Link just then caught a glimpse of an opened window. He headed over to it and took a look outside. He was one story up.

_"Think you can make a jump like that after what you've been through?"_

_Are you kiddin' me? I dive off the cliff of Gerudo Valley into Gerudo River for fun. This is nothin'._

_"Thought so."_

Link hopped onto the window-sill, psyching himself up momentarily before taking the dive. He barely had enough time to breathe in, though, when the door suddenly swung opened; an impatient Mida was standing in the doorway.

"Time's up." She announced, but was immediately shocked to see Link literally standing on the edge. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Leavin'." Link replied, promptly jumping from the window after throwing Mida a peace sign.

_"Nice exit. Where are we heading first?"_

_The only thing we have to go on is the last place Mario was seen: the Training Grounds._


	30. Only the Beginning: Part 8

**Act 10****: ****_Only the Beginning _(Part 8)**

"Nabi!" Raznia squealed like an excited child.

"Raz..." Nabooru smiled warmly.

Raznia nearly jumped across the room into her Spirit Sage "sister's" arms. She hugged her as if they had just been reunited after a year's separation, pressing her cheek against Nabooru's and squeezing tightly. Raznia even planted a loud, puckering kiss on her cheek.

"Ugh... that's enough, Raz." Nabooru lightly pushed a giggling Raznia back.

"I knew you'd react like that and I knew you were gonna say that." Raznia's playful grin spread even wider. "I missed you _sooooo much_!" She quickly closed in for another hug.

"Ah! Enough affection, Raz!" Nabooru struggled to keep Raznia back at an arm's length.

"Alright..." Raznia said, almost sounding disappointed, but still wore a joyful expression on her face. "But really, Nabi, I was really scared when I saw you floating above that pillar. I actually felt doubtful for a bit."

Nabooru let out an almost smug laughter. "My body may've been beaten down, but my soul could still put up an epic struggle. I wasn't about to let that freak take me out that easily. But you know what?" Her tone gained a hint of seriousness. "I think I got lucky."

"You really think so?" Raznia raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah. When he took little bits of my soul like that, it was hard for me to keep track of all that. If he kept that up..." Nabooru let out a contemplative sigh. "Let's just say you'd be talking to someone else right now. Too bad he got so greedy when he started losing. It was easy for me to keep him from stealing my entire soul at once."

"Really? I would've thought it was the other way around." Raznia said.

"Come on, Raz, you know better." Nabooru shook her head. "It's like someone stealing bits and pieces of your meal versus someone going for the entire plate all at once. Which one is more obvious?"

"Duh. The one stealing bits and pieces." Raznia replied with a convinced smile.

"Uh-huh... You'll be alright." Nabooru assured her, patting her head.

"I _am _alright! You know I'm just kidding!" Raznia countered.

"Yeah, sure you were." Nabooru said with a wink. "But seriously, I know you've been through some rough stuff, too. How are you doing?"

"I'm still beautiful, right?" Raznia fluttered her eyelashes as a testament to her beauty.

"...you haven't seen a mirror yet, have you?" Nabooru muttered grimly as she shook her head.

"Ow... my feelings..." Raznia's smile was obliterated as she hung her head.

"You set them up and I'll knock them down." Nabooru stated with a smirk. "But seriously, I'm asking because I heard from a trustworthy source that your mind wasn't even in this world a few hours ago."

"Who said that?"

"Her name starts with an 'M' and ends with an 'A'."

"Mida..." Raznia's face and mood turned. "You're gonna believe her? _Her _of all people? You can't trust anything she says!"

"She was very sincere, Raz. Mida was really worried about you. You can't fake what I saw in her eyes." Nabooru assured her. "You can't fake what I saw in your eyes, either. I could tell you had no idea where you were. Mida said you snapped out of it a few hours after I saw you."

"She was watching me the whole time?"

"Seems like it."

"Ugh... She probably did it just to spite me. Now I owe her..." Raznia shook her head with a disgusted grimace. A face as pretty as her's should never have been able to produce such a look of repulsion.

"Does it have to be out of spite? Can't it just be genuine concern? I know you two don't have the greatest relationship in the world, but I know she wouldn't wish anything horrible on you." Nabooru sincerely believed.

"You don't know her like I do." Raznia muttered.

"Raz..." Nabooru could only sigh. "Alright. You can think Mida only exists to make you miserable, but you can't deny being out of it for a long while. You're always the one with a cool head out there, even when _I _start to worry. What made this time so different? Was it because I almost died?"

"No. Link..." Raznia began to speak, but her voice got caught in her throat. "...I was up when Link ended the battle..." She managed to utter after some hesitation. Silence followed.

"I know there's more to it than that." Nabooru said. "You've finished a decent amount of enemies, too."

"...it's just hard for me to think about." Raznia admitted after a deep sigh. "Siegfried didn't deserve to die like that."

"Siegfried?"

"...Nightmare."

Nabooru was slightly shocked to hear Raznia say that. They both saw what Nightmare was capable of. They saw him throw the entire Gerudo region into chaos. And most importantly, they saw his intention of remorselessly killing them, and everyone they loved. And now, despite all he's done, Raznia was saying he didn't deserve to die... Nabooru couldn't hide her look of confusion.

"I know you think I'm crazy for saying that, but it's true." Raznia continued. "Siegfried was trapped inside of Nightmare. He was being controlled by the Soul Edge; that creepy sword he was carrying. Soul Edge made him do all those things and he couldn't do anything about it. Soul Edge was the real nightmare, not Siegfried.

"After Link destroyed Soul Edge, he also destroyed Nightmare. Siegfried was free, and even though he knew he couldn't control himself, he was truly sorry for everything he did. He knew he deserved to be punished and was ready to spend the rest of his life living with himself. But then Link..." Raznia's voice wavered as it trailed off.

"...killed him." Nabooru completed the sentence.

"No, Link _slaughtered _him! He stabbed him in his throat right after he apologized!" Raznia was obviously losing her composure as she was almost screaming at Nabooru. "Siegfried couldn't even defend himself! He never saw it coming..."

Nabooru was struck speechless and dumbfounded. She had known Link since he was a child, and ever since then, she never would've even fathomed Link having the ability to mercilessly finish somebody like that. As far as she knew, the only killing Link ever did was of monsters that threatened the peace of Hyrule.

"Ever since he came back... I've been feeling weird vibes from him." Raznia hesitantly admitted. "On the outside, he still seems like the same person. But on the inside... something doesn't feel right. Like, when I hug him, I feel something that doesn't belong."

Nabooru continued to be at a loss for words. This was the same person that promised to find the fabled Silver Gauntlets by braving the dangerous Spirit Temple mere moments after they _just _met. This was the same person that saved her from Ganondorf and Twinrova so long ago. The same person she believed had such a good heart... And now, her closest friend was telling her there is some kind of darkness in him? Nabooru normally would take Raznia's word without hesitation, but this time, she had to see for herself.

"Well..." Nabooru finally spoke. "Link _is _on his way here. We can talk to him about--"

"NO!!" Raznia suddenly blurted.

"...no?" Nabooru was utterly confused.

"I don't want him to feel like we don't trust him. I'm sure he thinks I was knocked out when he killed Siegfried. If he found out I was awake and I know what he did..." Raznia trailed off. "I just don't think now's the best time. Even though what he did is unforgivable, he did risk his life to save us."

Nabooru shook her head. "I really think we should talk to him about this. Maybe it wasn't exactly _Link_. You know... the same way it wasn't Siegfried that tried to kill us. I just refuse to believe Link would consciously kill an apologetic and helpless man like that."

"Then I'll talk to him." Raznia decided. "I'm his girlfriend, so it's only right."

"Since when?" Nabooru raised her eyebrows over her wide eyes in astonishment.

"Since we came to save you in the Spirit Temple." Raznia said. "I loved him. And I still do. I had to let him know, just in case one of us didn't make it out of that battle."

Nabooru nodded a slow, understanding nod. "It suddenly makes sense... When Link killed Siegfried, he shattered everything you thought you knew about him. He did something worse than Nightmare could ever do to you."

Raznia didn't know how to reply. She read her like a book.

Nabooru could only sigh. "Being the Spirit Sage and the local psychiatrist is tough." She smiled, trying to get Raznia to cheer up a little. The conversation had Raznia looking miserable.

It seemed to work a bit, though. Raznia managed a meek grin. Unfortunately, it was effectively wiped off her face when a very frantic-looking Mida burst through the door.

"That IDIOT just jumped out the window!" Mida wasted no time in her exclamation.

"Who?" Nabooru asked.

"The ZERO of Time! He thinks he's invincible or something!" Mida rose her voice, lividly. "I don't care if I find him with a broken leg. He WILL walk it off."

"...why would he do that? I thought he was injured." Nabooru wondered, remembering Link's serious wounds.

"I just said he's an idiot, right? He has to be going to the training grounds. Someone saw one of his friends there."

"But the fortress got torn down..." Nabooru said. "Why there?"

"I don't know, but what I _do _know is that we're going to find them and slap some sense into both of them." Mida stated.

"No, we're not. We'll wait for them." Raznia sternly enforced. "They don't need you in their business. They have their reasons for being over there."

"Like what?! There's nothing over there except fire and rubble!" Mida argued.

"I know it's weird, Mida, but I'm with Raz." Nabooru said. "Yeah, Link was injured, but don't worry about him. If he's well enough to jump out of windows, then he's fine. Link's the one who wanted to talk to me, anyway. He'll be here soon enough."

Mida didn't want to settle for the "wait and see" attitude that Nabooru and Raznia adopted, but in their own way, they were just as stubborn as she was. A common Gerudo trait...

"Fine." Mida simply muttered and exited the room.

"You know she's going to the training grounds, right?" Nabooru looked to Raznia.

"Link's probably gonna punch her in the face when he sees her. Serves her right. Mida has to learn someday that she has to stop being so bossy. She's not a leader and she never will be." Raznia coldly said.

"You know, Raz... we may say we're sisters, but you can't beat the real thing." Nabooru reminded her. "There's something you can't substitute when the same blood you have runs through another person. It's something I wish I had."

"Like I said, Nabi: you don't know her like I do." Raznia shook her head as she looked into Nabooru's eyes.

And with that, Raznia left the room.

* * *

_I should've seen this coming... _Luigi sighed in his mind as he dodged the incoming stream of flame.

He returned fire with his newfound, yet familiar thunder-hand ability. Forming a sphere of electricity in his palms, he hurled it at his opponent. Thinking fast, his enemy formed a fireball in his hand and clapped against his palm, creating a blazing shield of some sort which absorbed the threatening thunderball.

"Show-off..." Luigi muttered. "I should've chosen that power..."

_It's only been a half an hour since I woke up, and already I'm in a live-or-die situation. But it's not like I was having a better time in that dream I was having. Stupid nightmares trying to kill me..._

_Luigi's dream..._

"DIE!!" Nightmare barked as he closed in on Luigi with a crushing blow from the Soul Edge.

Luigi couldn't even think of dodging it. Nightmare attacked so furiously that Luigi could only sit there and smile as he took the entire onslaught. He quickly realized there was no hope of victory. At least not without some help...

He looked around. His heart sunk as his help stayed down for the count.

Raznia: overcome... Mario: overwhelmed... Link, even with his new arsenal of skills, proved to be useless as he was easily overpowered the armored menace. There wouldn't be any waking up from this Nightmare...

Now it was all up to Luigi... who was seconds away from utter annihilation as his greatest Nightmare prepared to tuck him in for the eternal slumber.

"...what do I do?" Luigi grumbled; a beaten mess holding on to his last thread of consciousness.

Despite the grave situation, a sudden cackle caught his ear.

_There's nothing funny about my certain doom!_ He shouted in his mind as he watched Nightmare's blade drop closer and closer to his body, but as it fell, time felt as if it slowed down, almost to a stop. If he had the strength, Luigi could've had time to move away from the impending deathblow.

"What?" Luigi was shocked.

Suddenly, two glowing orbs appeared before him: one, a sphere of raging flame, and the other, a ball of jittery lightning. Luigi had no idea what this meant, but had no time to ponder on a meaning. Just as quickly as it slowed down, Nightmare's blade gradually picked up speed.

Mustering all he could, Luigi shot up his left arm and grabbed indiscriminately. The orb of electricity found itself in his hand. Immediately, time returned to its normal flow, allowing Nightmare to finally carry out his actions; plunging the Soul Edge through a severely weakened Luigi. Soul Edge _and _Nightmare, though, were blown away by a sharp, strong, and sudden spark the instant Luigi's clothes were touched. A surprised grunt escaped Nightmare's helmet as he flew back. Skidding to a stop, he glared at a fully-restored Luigi surrounded by lightning.

Luigi couldn't describe the power he felt. It flowed through him so fast, as if it wanted to escape. It felt like he just barely had control over it. He held his hands close to each other. A web of lightning connected his fingers as renegade sparks flew from his palms. Luigi couldn't believe he was doing this. It was so cool to watch that he forgot he was in a nightmare that promised him everlasting torment.

Nightmare reminded him of his presence by throwing a wave of soul energy at a mesmerized Luigi. It tore over the ground, ripping deep-laid stone from its foundation and disintegrating it promptly.

Luigi watched the incoming torrent of destruction. He did _not_ want to know what would happen if that thing touched him. He promptly sent his own wave of disaster into battle. ...or at least intended to if that web of electricity didn't keep his fingers entangled. ...and it didn't help that he didn't know how to untangle it...

With the threatening soul energy coming closer, Luigi couldn't think of anything else to do but throw his web out and hope it caught on to something. It stayed connected to his fingers... but surprisingly, it expanded over the entirety of Nightmare's soul wave attack and covered it like a fish net. Gradually, the net contracted as the soul wave rumbled like it was struggling to escape. It was no use, though, as the soul energy suddenly found itself encased in the middle of a small ball of electricity which returned to Luigi's hand.

Nightmare was stunned, to say the least. Just seconds ago, Luigi was under his blade preparing for death. Nightmare was determined to put him in that position once again. Summoning the Soul Edge back to his hand, Nightmare clenched it tightly as he charged toward his opponent.

_Don't worry. The ending to this battle isn't obvious..._ Luigi thought to himself as he pitched the ball at Nightmare.

In a sudden flash of green electricity, the Nightmare was abruptly ended. Luigi violently shook awake only to find himself in a spacious grand entrance hall of some sort instead of the bed he fell asleep in. Judging by the looks of the place, though, Luigi knew his entrance was anything but grand. He surveyed his surroundings: three ruined doorways, four crumbling pillars (one was ready to give out at any moment), a tattered red carpet, and a stairway blocked off by flaming rubble was what he immediately noticeable. Luigi wondered how he managed to get in at all with there being no visible exit.

"...I'm trapped?" Luigi fretted as he nearly broke into a frantic run towards the blocked-off stairway.

Before he could take a step, a cackle broke through the ambiance. A familiar cackle... the same one he heard seconds before he claimed his power in his dream. He spun around. A floating lantern caught Luigi's eye. He watched it cautiously as it approached him. With a sudden spin, a hand appeared on the lantern's handle, with a body connected to the hand's wrist.

"NO!!" Luigi shrieked as he backed up into a corner.

Luigi was infamously known for his cowardly ways, but had done a good job of ignoring his spineless instincts the longer he was on his journey with his brother and Link. But even with his newly-gained courage, he still had one deep and profound fear: one that he thought he had gotten over.

Ghosts.

Even after clearing out his mansion packed to the brim with wandering and hostile souls, there was still something about them that caused Luigi to freak out. And with these ghosts of Hyrule (commonly known as Poes), it was no different.

With his back against the wall, there was nothing he could do as the giggling specter floated closer to him. Luigi held his hands out as if to plead to the ghost not to come any closer. Suddenly, his fingers sparked. That familiar jittery rush flowed through him again. A sly smile crept across his face.

"...it's Luigi-time." He deviously growled as he realized he still had his shockingly cool new powers. "BACK, FOUL APPARITION OF THE NETHERWORLD!!" Luigi boomed with the bravery his thunder-hands gave him, throwing a threatening, yet flamboyant pointer finger at it.

From Luigi's finger jumped a bolt of lightning that had no other intention but to send that spirit back to whatever Hell it came from. As soon as contact was made, the Poe let out a shocked snicker, promptly vanishing from sight but dropping its lantern. It shattered as it hit the floor.

Luigi let out a sigh of relief; proud of the way he handled his fear so swiftly and heroically.

"'Foul apparition of the Netherworld'... I'm so cool." Luigi reveled in his own fortitude, stroking his chin and secretly wishing someone was there to hear him.

Luigi's eyes passed over the scattered shards of glass on the ground. Bits of a strange, red aura were rising from the pieces... Luigi only watched on warily, not knowing what to expect. The aura seemed to collect at one spot, finally coming together to form an orb; a red sphere of raging flames... As Luigi immediately identified the orb as the power he rejected, a body suddenly appeared, with ball of fire at its heart.

Luigi's jaw dropped as he unmistakably recognized who he was staring at...

Luigi Mario, donning a fire-red hat and undershirt.

His spitting image stared back at him, looking equally stunned at the sight of his "twin". Luigi could only guess the difference between them were their powers. Just as he was about to speak up, a burst of flames exploded from his copy, throwing a raging inferno right at his face. Purely reacting to the unexpected threat, almost as if his powers were acting on its own, Luigi exploded with blast of electric energy, sending a thick bolt of lightning to meet the blazing line of fire. The opposing forces met with an intense clash, flinging both opponents helplessly backwards as their battleground was shaken at the foundation; bits of stone crumbling from the ceiling.

Luigi broke through the weakest pillar and skidded sloppily towards the furthest wall while his fire-based copy was sent spiraling out of control into a wall of his own. As he regained his composure, he looked to his opponent. Just like him, he was scrambling, though gingerly, to his feet. Luigi knew they'd be evenly matched, but with the power they were both packing, this would be over quickly.

...

The battle raged on, though it felt more like total war. Their attacks were so fervent that any strike not dodged just might bring damage impossible to recover from, if not death. Luigi knew this fully-well as he tried his hardest to keep his distance and shock his double into submission. He was proving that lightning really doesn't strike twice, though. In fact, it couldn't even strike once as Fire-Luigi seemed to be extremely light-footed, or more accurately hot-footed. He managed to dodge everything thrown at him or, at the very least, cancel it out at the last second with a short-ranged fireball.

Luigi noticed his foe had an affinity for close-quarters combat. The second he would be able to get inside his safety zone was the second he would be annihilated. But his own long-distance affinity gave him a fighting chance at not letting that happen. He was able to shoot off bolts of lightning at a very rapid pace; fast enough to combat his fire-based foe agility. It's a good thing, too, as Luigi couldn't get the hang of running-and-gunning. He had much more control and power if he stood still and aimed.

The two reached a stalemate as they realized everything they tried wasn't very effective. If anything, they were beating themselves up because of how tired they were becoming. They were perfectly matched, as if they were made to fight each other with no result other than to die of exhaustion.

_This is so annoying! Why won't he stand still?! I just want to zap him so I can get out of here! Where's my net?!_

Luigi put his fingers together and formed the same entanglement of electricity that helped him wake from his Nightmare. In the same motion, he threw it at Fire-Luigi.

Dodged, as expected.

No matter, as Luigi fired another electric web at his fiery doppelganger.

Another miss.

Luigi kept on firing and "Luigi" kept on dodging. That is, until, he finally got caught. Luigi wasn't intending on catching him directly. If anyone knew Luigi better than Mario, it would be Luigi, himself. He knew he'd just keep dodging while constantly on the lookout for an opening to devastate. He never noticed that the entire time, Luigi's little webs came together to form a sizable one; large enough to catch a blazing duplicate.

_I knew it. He may be fast, and he may be me, but he's _NOT_ me! I would never fall for what I just did to myself! I'm such an idiot. I mean, he is... Anyway, let's just get creative..._

Luigi may've had an arsenal of new attacks, but he still had a soft spot for the moves that got him to where he was. He charged up his old favorite: the Green Missile.

"Let's go!" He exclaimed as he expected to go off with that familiar blast.

Suddenly, he bolted through his enemy, literally, as a bolt of lightning. He returned to his normal form just before he crashed into a wall, clinging on to it with a sort of magnetic ability despite the fact that there was no metal to be found. Luigi was shocked (no pun intended). "Ride the lightning" suddenly meant something entirely new.

Wasting no time, Luigi jumped off the wall and bolted through his captured prey again with another Green Missile (of electricity).

And another.

And another.

And another.

And another.

And another.  
And another.  
And another.  
And another until it just seemed like he was providing constant stream of pain. Finally, when he had enough fun, Luigi reappeared on the wall, jumped off, and discharged an overwhelming beam of electricity from his entire body he'd like to call "Thunder Cannon".

Finally, the first decisive blow of the battle was landed. And from the looks of his copy, the final blow. Fire-Luigi was thrown against the jagged rubble blocking the stairway and landed limply on his face.

Luigi leaned against the wall he was near, letting a wave of relief sweep over him.

"This game's winner is... Luigi." He announced in his best announcer voice. Unfortunately, it was quite underwhelming as he was pretty exhausted after that bout. "Now we need to get out of... here..."

Luigi trailed off in his thinking as the room suddenly gained a red tint. A fiery red tint... He looked to his duplicate. His aura pulsed as he rose again, like a phoenix from the ashes.

"That's not fair! I thought we were equal! I don't have resurrection powers!" Luigi groaned as his opponents eyes lit ablaze.

Taking a page out of Luigi's book, Fire-Luigi threw his arms out in a rapid spin, performing the fan-favorite Luigi Cyclone. As he spun, a tornado of flame expanded outward. It had no intention of stopping, and Luigi had no intention of dodging. He couldn't, as there was nowhere to run.

Searing heat simply dominated him. And as he flew around helplessly in the firestorm, all Luigi could think about was how he should've chosen the fire orb.

When the torrent of fire finally died down, Luigi found himself falling back down to the ground in, what he felt like, slow-motion. As he turned to face the floor, his fiery double suddenly appeared in a veil of flames. If he wasn't there to inflict more pain on the him, Luigi would've thought that was pretty cool.

In a follow-up to the Luigi Cyclone, Fire-Luigi sprung off his feet and nailed him with the patented Super Jump Punch. Luigi felt each uppercut under his chin, lifting him higher and higher until he was pinned to the ceiling. Fire-Luigi then ended the onslaught with a shotgun-blast of fire, scorching Luigi and any previous understanding he had of pain.

After his blazing doppelganger landed from his attack, Luigi was finally left to land as well: on his face and near-lifeless. _What I wouldn't give for auto-recovery, right now..._ he groaned in his mind as he felt that jittery rush of power die down. He knew that wasn't a good sign, especially since things were getting dark...

But seconds from taking his last breath, he felt a pulse of energy shock him back into action, almost like a defibrillator. He jumped to his feet, looking over to his clone to see what he was planning next. It seemed he was planning to stand around in shock, as he thought he had just ended the battle.

_Now you know how I felt._ Luigi spitefully thought to himself. _Man,_ _this is really weird. We just killed each other, and yet, here we are, staring at each other in shock and with fire in our eyes. Plus we're closed in this pit of despair with no way out. It's like we're meant to fight forever... Even weirder was that Super Jump Punch... I can't hit more than once... it's too hard... Having fire-powers makes it that much easier? Now I _REALLY _wish I took the Fire Orb..._

Luigi kept an eye on his blazing nemesis, who was literally blazing now. Fire engulfed him, fiercely dancing up and down his body as it seemed to expand at a threatening rate. Finally, it stopped, placing him in a flare globe roughly the size of Bowser.

_So you want to see my Thunder Cannon again, huh?_ Luigi determined and gathered all the energy he could right in the middle of his chest.

As if someone shouted "DRAW", both superpowers unleashed their full potential on each other. Fire-Luigi careened head-first into Luigi's devastating beam of lightning. Another stalemate was reached as both sides strove to wear each other down, but neither one would waver. It'd come down to who'd tire first...

...or what random event would interrupt the epic bout.

Without any sort of warning, the conglomeration of rubble blocking the exit inexplicably blew up, sending all its contents flying recklessly throughout the hall. Luigi and his flaming nemesis had to drop their struggle to protect themselves from the destroyed sediment akin to shrapnel. Once all was clear, both fighters turned to the newly opened doorway, eagerly eying the new silhouette hidden in the blinding sunlight and billowing cloud of dust.

Finally, the dust settled and their eyes adjusted to the new light. The motionless figure was now fully visible, and Luigi was left beside himself in sheer awe.

A new Luigi Mario stood before them, this time donning a sword, a shield, and just a pair of pants. He twirled his weapon in his hand and meant to sheath it behind him, but to no avail, as he had no back-sheath to speak of... He looked as if to say "damnit".

_WHY IS THERE ANOTHER ME?! _ Luigi bellowed in his mind as he glanced over to his fire-copy. Seeing him in as much shock as he put him at a little bit of ease. At least there weren't any conspiracies against him. ...for now.

The three watched each other uneasily, though it seemed Sword-Luigi wasn't too interested in them. Just as Luigi was actually about to share his first words with his two copies, Sword-Luigi jumped at them, completely unprovoked. Both Luigi and his fire clone could think of nothing else but to strike first with explosive force; Luigi with a paralyzing bolt of lightning, and Fire-Luigi with a dashing fireball. Seeing both Luigi's coming for him, Sword-Luigi switched gears and hurled his sword at the two. While Luigi and his replica connected flawlessly with their target, Sword-Luigi wasn't so lucky, as he missed his mark by an overwhelming margin; so wide that he seemed to emit a weird, loud, screaming wheeze of exasperation as he was thrown into one of the remaining pillars.

_Stupid sword clone..._ Luigi then shot a glance at his remaining copy. He stared back with fiery conviction, as if it said "no matter how hard you hit, I'll keep coming back". _I dare you to come back from this one_, Luigi accurately read that glare and clenched his fists, sending surge after surge of energy into himself. His plan: take every ounce of energy he had, ball it up into the palm of his hand, and shove it down his clone's throat. No phoenix could return from that.

When he felt he was ready, Luigi opened his hand. There it was; his trump card. Jittery madness, incarnated. Little bolts of lightning would flicker out randomly. The thunderball, itself, was actually no bigger than a soccer ball, but Luigi knew it wasn't the size that mattered. He could feel the power emanating from the ball's core. It was almost hard to keep in the palm of his hand as it rumbled; the thunderous internal storm no doubt able to level cities if it were to be unleashed to full storm scale. With that, Luigi knew for sure: anything on the receiving end of this thing would be eradicated unquestionably.

He looked up to Fire-Luigi. Luigi may not've had any fire powers, but he definitely felt his temper flare as he found his copy infringing on his originality; a massive fireball, roughly the size of an over-sized beach ball, rested in his fire-foe's hands, outstretched above his head.

_You overcompensating bastard..._ Luigi venomously growled in his mind.

As if his napalm nemesis heard his insult, he bounded forward, with bright flare trails left behind the tremendous mass. Luigi wish he had time to throw his ball in the air and send it off in true soccer-style with a graceful, yet pretentious, somersault kick, but he knew his counterfeit's speed wouldn't allow that. All he could do was hold it out in front of him and wait for his chance...

The distance between them grew smaller and smaller. Tunnel-vision took their sights. They were the only two that existed to each other; every detail magnified. Luigi focused intensely on his foe, waiting for that moment truth. As his enemy came closer, though, what he started to notice was that he was beginning to look... different. So much so that Luigi began to think his eyes were playing tricks on him. He could've sworn his foe's head shrunk a bit, taking a more round shape as opposed to his more oblong-shaped head. Not only did his head shrink, but so did his entire body, leaving him with a more round and portly body-type. Luigi guessed he had about a half an arm's reach on him, now. But what disturbed Luigi the most was that these changes were just enough to make his once-clone look like someone who naturally shared his features...

"...Mario?"

It seemed as if Mario went through the same process of realization as Luigi did, as his face turned from one of stern conviction to stunned consternation. The Mario brothers were seconds away from obliterating each other, as Mario stayed on his collision course, unable to deviate because of the speed and power he initially put into it. Luigi couldn't even think about dropping his guard. The power he planned on using to destroy his brother would now be what would save them both. But how he planned on accomplishing this was anyone's guess. With the sheer magnitude of their abilities acting against each other, they both knew on no plane of reality would this end well...

The distance was now only inches apart. Mario's collision was imminent, and all either of them could do was brace themselves. Just before Luigi determined the best plan was to shut his eyes and wish himself away, the gleaming blade of a sword appeared right in front of him. The very same sword his shirtless clone was wielding... Luigi's eyes quickly followed the blade up to the arm holding it, and then the face looking ahead to where the blade was positioned. No longer was there a half-naked Luigi brandishing that weapon, but a half-naked Link.

Luigi had no time to ponder on how ridiculous everything had suddenly turned out. All three forces: a raging inferno sphere, a tumultuous thunderball, and an undaunted blade of courage collided with each other, unleashing an unrelenting wave of vehemence so powerful that it nullified all senses except one...

The only thing they could do was listen to their own tortured screams.


	31. Only the Beginning: Part 9

*AUTHOR'S NOTE* This chapter has been cut in half. Act 10: Part 10 is the second half to this chapter.

* * *

**Act 10****: ****_Only the Beginning _**(Part 9)

"Oh shit... Shit, shit, shit..." Bowser repeated over and over as he frantically, though tiredly, ran through the hallway.

He had no idea what to do. Every door he opened led to a dead-end. And to make matters worse, he wasn't alone...

"AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOO!!" A threatening howl followed him through the halls. Armored footsteps crept their way closer to Bowser's location. No matter how fast he ran, they always sounded like they were only a heart-beat away...

"Shit!" Bowser started to run harder.

He came to a cumbrous stop at the first door he found and almost broke it down trying to get in.

"SHIT!!" He shouted as the door led to a dead end. The armored footsteps behind him were close enough for him to feel the shakes each step sent through the ground.

Bowser bulleted off as fast as he could, in search of another door and a potential escape. One quickly showed up right in front of him after he clambered up the stairs. He didn't even care about the doorknob this time. Bowser put his shoulder out and threw all his weight into the entry. He tumbled sloppily into the next room, taking down everything in his path from tables and chairs to Gerudo kings of evil.

"BOWSER, WHAT THE FUCK?!!" Ganondorf threw his royal counterpart off of him.

"Ganondorf! Holy shit, Ganondorf!" Bowser, though surprised, could only repeat himself as he struggled to catch his breath.

"What the fuck is wrong wit' you?" Ganondorf demanded as he rose to his feet and approached Bowser.

"It... the thing... I don't know what the fuck... It wants me dead!" Bowser continued to gasp for air as he spoke.

"What the hell are you talkin' about?"

"You didn't hear those howls? ...the footsteps?" Bowser struggled to get to his feet. "The ground shakes! Godamnit, the ground shakes!"

"Yo, if you don't calm the fuck down and start makin' sense, the ground'll be shakin' 'cause of how hard I'm slammin' yo' head into the floor." Ganondorf threatened. "Now what the fuck are you talkin' 'bout?"

"You left me in the fucking lower level and I got lost looking for a way out!" Bowser burst out. "And I found a fucking gigantic _werewolf _dressed in armor down there! _Heavy _armor! It has claws so sharp that they make _me _look like some type of godamn blunt object! AND IT HAS A FUCKING MACE!! A FUCKING SPIKED BALL ON A CHAIN!! WHERE DID IT COME FROM?!!" Bowser wildly shouted as he shook Ganondorf by the shoulders.

Ganondorf immediately sent a Warlock Punch to Bowser's chest, sending him flying back-first into the nearest wall. His spikes kept him pinned to the wall, unable to move from his spot. He could only watch Ganondorf head towards the exit.

"DON'T GO OUT THERE!!" Bowser shouted.

"There's no fuckin' time for this bullshit, Bowser!" Ganondorf shot back. "Shit is so _real _right now, it's not even funny."

"No kidding! We have a fucking monster with a mace on the loose in your castle!"

"No, you fuckin' idiot... Zelda told me her fuckin' premonition. And that shit is fuckin' _bad_." Ganondorf said with a head-shake.

"How bad?"

"I can't believe I'm gonna say this..." Ganondorf started. "Bad enough to make me wanna abandon ship and dead this whole kidnappin' shit."

"WHAT?!!" Bowser shock was so strong that he managed to free himself from his spot on the wall. "Ganondorf, what... You... Did you hear that; what just came out of your mouth? That _madness_? We didn't go through all this just to give up in the end. Tell me you're not serious."

"There's no jokes here, Bowser. This is real." Ganondorf said, stone-faced. "Zelda said if I fight Link, the Triforce will be destroyed. I'm all for destruction and mayhem and shit, but this is beyond me. If the Triforce is destroyed, Hyrule's fucked." He began to count off on his fingers. "Gerudo's fucked. Hylia's fucked. You're fucked. I'm fucked. Every fuckin' thing we've been workin' for is fucked. EVERYTHING." Ganondorf flung his hands out in frustration. "And I can't think of any way to stop this. Link is comin' for blood, and he's not gonna listen if I tell him we're gonna _ruin the entire_ _world _if we fight."

"So then get Zelda to tell him! He'll listen to her." Bowser hastily suggested, hoping he could talk some sense into Ganondorf and save their scheme.

"You fuckin' kiddin' me? You remember what went down a while back? My sword in her sheath. Link's not even gonna _look_ at her when he gets here." Ganondorf shook his head. "This ain't about me kidnappin' Zelda anymore, man. He still saw me as his friend. And I pissed all over that. My death is his priority now. He'll never admit it, though. Noble mother-fucks like him wanna keep it righteous and pretend their rightin' wrongs. But deep-down, he knows what this is really about. And on some realness, I couldn't be more jubilant. Fuck the bullshit pretenses and come see me for real! Come at me wit' the intent to kill so I won't feel bad about sendin' you to see Din, Nayru, and Farore so you could tell 'em how you could never hope to step to me on your own!"

"...that was a run-on sentence." Bowser muttered.

"Shut the fuck up!" Ganondorf took a swing at Bowser, who managed to block his fist from colliding with his face. "You understand why I'm so godamn pissed?! I _had _that mother-fucker! Now I gotta step back and find a way to save the fuckin' world." He put an exasperated hand to his forehead. "Fuckin' Farore, Bowser, do you realize what jus' happened? Me and Link fuckin' switched places! _He's _the fuckin' villain now! _He's _gonna destroy the world if I don't do somethin'! The fuckin' King of Evil has to play the good guy?! BULLSHIT!!" Ganondorf threw his foot through a table, causing it to burst into splinters, as nonsensical as that sounds.

"Ganondorf... take it easy." Bowser was almost in awe of how furious Ganondorf was. "I dunno how you can just sit back and get ready to give up. Can weeven _believe_ anything Zelda says?" He wondered. "You gotta admit: Zelda's been acting a little crazy lately. I mean, the biggest tip-off of all is that _she _cheated on Link. It was all her idea. And neither of us can forget how she came into the room last night screaming the world was gonna end, then suddenly left acting like it was all a mistake. Ganondorf, man, either it's that time of the month or someone's been slipping some weird stuff into her water. Either way, I don't buy a damn word of it. How much do you wanna bet she's just trying to save Link from the most spectacular ass-kicking he'll ever receive."

Ganondorf took a second to absorb Bowser's view. And for that optimistic second, he went along with it. Zelda had been acting uncharacteristically different from what he had come to expect. But as always, time marches on...

"Yo, regardless of how crazy she's been actin', she's still a psychic." Ganondorf muttered.

"More like a _psycho_." Bowser corrected.

"_Either way_..." Ganondorf went on. "Her visions happen exactly as she sees 'em, and there's no stoppin' those shits."

"How does it happen?" Bowser realized he didn't know how it all comes to be.

"Me and Link are under the castle surrounded by lava. We have no choice but to fight until further notice." Ganondorf shook his head.

"That's all?" Bowser asked.

"That's all she remembered." Ganondorf said.

"Ganondorf... You're driving yourself crazy off of _that _much?" Bowser was once-again left in awe, but for an entirely different reason this time. "Who says it's you or Link that destroys the Triforce? And I don't keep up on my readings when it comes to the legendary relics of Hyrule, but aren't there _three _pieces of the Triforce?" He pointed out, holding up three fingers. "If the Triforce is ever to be destroyed, I'd think it'd involve you, Link, _and _Zelda. If she's not there, nothing can happen. You and Link fought a million times before, and nothing ever happened! How could you take Zelda's word so blindly? How do you even know this was an actual premonition and not some little dumbass nightmare she had? Give her a teddy bear and tell her to shut the hell up and go back to sleep!"

"Bowser, I know what you're gettin' at, and I feel like a dumbass jus' goin' wit' the bullshit this crazy broad is splurtin', but I can't leave anythin' up to chance. I felt somethin' when she said that shit." Ganondorf admitted. "I can't explain it, but I'm takin' that as a sign. I don't usually feel shit when I'm given an ultimatum."

"Ganondorf..." Bowser couldn't think of what to say. But suddenly, he did. Before he even spoke, he smirked.

"How the fuck can you smile?" Ganondorf narrowed his eyelids contemptuously. Bowser's grin was almost taunting, as if he didn't take him seriously.

"Ganondorf... my baleful buddy... sometimes, the simplest andbest solutions are the most overlooked." Bowser said. "I believe in a thing called Fate. Things are destined to happen. I'm destined to rule over the Mushroom Kingdom with Peach as my queen and Mario as my stuffed towel rack. And you know what? The Triforce might be destined to be destroyed." He said with a tone of regret. "But Fate isn't obvious. It can happen in a thousand different ways. The path to the future isn't set in stone. It's the only way I can explain why I'm not sitting on my throne with Toad as my footstool."

"What the fuck does this have to do wit' anythin'?" Ganondorf demanded, growing impatient with Bowser's seemingly pointless rambling.

"Just listen." Bowser calmly suggested. "The Triforce gets destroyed. It's a possibility you and Zelda accepted. Fate is supposed to make it happen under your castle. BUT... who says you'll be around to do your part in Fate's plan? Who says you'll be where Fate wants you?"

Ganondorf could only raise a perplexed eyebrow.

"Put that eyebrow down for a second and follow me." Bowser said. "Zelda's visions supposedly happen exactly as she sees 'em, right? This one happened under your castle in Hyrule. But if you're not in your castle... if you're not even in _Hyrule_, how can it happen?"

Ganondorf heart skipped a beat upon realization. "Holy shit. Holy shit... Holy shit! Bowser... B-Boss... My fuckin' man, B-Boss. If I wasn't so evil, I'd hug you. _This _is why I fuck wit' you. When I'm wildin' out and can't keep it cool, you come through with a steady head and show me the light." He rose his hand to give Bowser a crisp DAP.

"Hey, sometimes I can't help but let my genius shine through." Bowser boasted with a modest shrug. "Fate may get his way most of the time, but the key word is 'most'. We disappear from Hyrule and leave Link and his butt-slamming friends to search for us for a while. In the meantime, you figure out every conceivable way the Triforce could be destroyed and stop it from happening."

"Whoa, whoa, B-boss. I ain't puttin' my plans on hold jus' to save the world. Fuck that; I'm not a hero." Ganondorf enforced. "We can fuck over Fate_ hard _if we change the venue _and _take out a piece of the equation. I _want_ Link to find me. And with Mario and Luigi as his partners, he'll know exactly where to go."

"Somebody better fill me in quick, then, because at this rate, I'll be the only one who won't know!" Bowser exclaimed.

"No one has to tell you shit. You already know where we're goin'. _Exactly_ where we're goin'." Ganondorf nudged Bowser's chest with two fingers.

"Bullshit. I'm not Zelda. Other than here..." Bowser trailed off as it suddenly clicked in his mind. Ganondorf nodded approvingly. There was only one other place they could go.

"This gets me the chance to fight wit' everythin' I got and not worry about bein' responsible for the fuckin' Cataclysm. I can worry 'bout that shit after I leave Link slumped over within an inch of his life." Ganondorf said. "Whatever you need to get ready, get to it. As soon as we meet Link and his peeps, we're out. And before you even say anythin'..." He caught Bowser seconds away from speaking. "DK's gonna hold it down here. We'll be long-gone before he even finds out."

"Not to say I'm not_ in love_ with this idea, but I thought you respected him. Isn't this a little grim on your part?" Bowser asked.

"In the end, it doesn't even matter." Ganondorf shook his head. "As long as he gets to throw down with Mario then I did everythin' I said I'd do."

"Too bad he's gonna fail so miserably, but that's actually a good thing. It just means I'll never see him again. I'll actually have to thank Mario for that." Bowser said.

"Aight, man, let's get it goin'. Do what you gotta do, then meet me in the throne room." Ganondorf said.

"Can do." Bowser said.

With an affectionate punch to Bowser's arm, Ganondorf sped out the room.

"Brains _and _brawn. I'm so great it should be illegal." Bowser gloated as he walked out of the room. He looked left, then right, thinking about which way to walk, only to realize "Damnit... I still don't know where I am."

But that wasn't all...

"Oh shit..." Bowser's heart suddenly sunk as he felt a foreboding aura fill the hall. "OH SHIT!!"

"AAAAAAWWWWWWWWOOOOOOO!!" A sudden howl echoed through the hallway. The shadow of a mace slowly crept up the stairs as heavy footsteps accompanied it.

"Oh fuck... GANONDORF, WAIT UP!!" Bowser shouted as he ran left, then suddenly jetted right, hoping to run into a familiar face.

* * *

"How are they doing?" Nabooru asked, looking at an unconscious Link, Mario, and Luigi.

"I don't even care. I want them up _now_ so I can ask them what the _hell_ they were thinking!" Mida lividly stated. "We could've still salvaged what was left of the Training Grounds. Now there's nothing! _Nothing_, Nab!_ And _their little stunt sent six more of us to the infirmary. I know we're the strongest girls here, but how the hell are we supposed to protect the fortress with only two able-bodied girls?"

"I'm here too, Mida..." Raznia spoke up.

"Don't worry, sis, I counted you, too. You and Nabooru can't be at a hundred percent yet, so I'm putting you two at fifty. With me being the only one at a hundred, that only makes us as strong as two Gerudo women. Or twenty men. Whichever one you prefer."

"I must be worse off than I thought. I'm usually as strong as twenty men by myself." Nabooru fretted.

"It was a tough battle, Nab. You'll be back to normal soon enough." Mida put a consoling hand on Nabooru's shoulder. "But not too soon, though. I kinda like being the strongest woman in Hyrule." She admitted with a smirk.

"Don't get used to it." Raznia bluntly stated, gaining a smirk from Mida. "But seriously, how did the Training Grounds explode like that?" She wondered as her glance wandered over to Link. "We never stored anything that powerful in there, did we?"

"I don't think there's anything that powerful anywherein _Hyrule_. I'm telling you, Raz, we blame these three." Mida asserted, glaring at them menacingly. "Everything was nice and quiet until they disappeared."

"I don't think so." Raznia disagreed. "Think about it. You just said me and Nabi are only at fifty percent. Mario, Luigi, and Link fought harder than both of us, so you know they're in even worse shape. Are you trying to tell me that even at a fraction of their full power, they_ still _had enough to..." Raznia paused to search for the right word. "..._obliterate_ our Training Grounds?"

"Obliterate. I like that word." Mida nodded in approval. "And yes, I'm still blaming them. All fingers point to them. All the bread crumbs lead to them. Their hands were in the cookie jar and we caught them with chocolate chips smeared on their cheeks. What else do you need, Raznia? What other clever metaphors should I come up with?"

"Shut up, Mida!" Raznia snapped, taking a threatening step toward her sister.

"Raznia, calm down." Nabooru moved in between an enraged Raznia and a startled Mida. "She has a point. They were the only ones there. Even if they are responsible, it's okay. We were planning to renovate anyway. Too many of the girls were completing the course, right?" She reminded Raznia, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Yeah..." Raznia agreed, though still keeping a vindictive eye on Mida.

"Hey, look, look!" Mida pointed toward Mario. "He's stirring! Start shaking him!"

"Can you leave him alone? Let him get up on his own." Raznia said.

"That's letting him get off easy. I want my answers now." Mida walked up to Mario's bedside.

"Mida, don't touch him!" Raznia nearly shoved Nabooru into a wall to get near Mida, ready to use whatever force necessary to stop her.

"Raz!" Nabooru grabbed her arm before she was out of reach.

"Raz, relax." Mida calmly suggested, holding out a halting hand. A white light suddenly shined from that hand. "Remember what my role is in a battle: I'm the reviver. As long as they aren't too deep in unconsciousness, I can wake anyone up. That's what I'm about to do. I'm not shaking anyone."

"Well... why didn't you just tell me that, then?" Raznia hesitated before asking.

"Why should I have to tell you? You already knew this." Mida stated matter-of-factly. Raznia could only stare back blankly.

Her eyes then wandered over to Nabooru's. Raznia's heart dropped as she met her shocked expression. They both knew she was right. Raznia's reaction was completely out-of-character and uncalled for.

Without a word to anyone, Raznia shook Nabooru's hand off her arm and left the room.

"Mida..." Nabooru uttered as she looked to her.

"Don't worry about it." Mida quickly replied, her tone different from her usual snappy and sarcastic quality as she waved her hand in front of Mario's closed eyelids.

His eyelids twitched as he gradually regained consciousness. Slowly, they finally opened. The first thing he saw was a light, and to his previously-closed eyes, a blinding light. A light so bright, he couldn't regain his other senses. He felt paralyzed, trying helplessly to jump back into action. When all else failed, the only thing left for him to do was continue his long, tortured scream from before he fell into unconsciousness.

"What'd you do?!" Nabooru demanded, startled by Mario's seemingly unwarranted scream.

"Nothing! He just woke up and started screaming!" Mida shouted back as she threw a hand over Mario's mouth.

Suddenly, Luigi regained his senses as well; with the first being his hearing. Only the sounds of his brother's tormented shrieks filled his ears, causing him to join Mario and turning his solo into a duet of excruciated cries of pain.

"Oh, Din, come on!" Mida shouted in anguish. "Shut him up, Nab!"

Nabooru was already standing over Luigi. Following Mida's example, she put her hand over Luigi's mouth as well, but adding her own touch and running a soothing hand over his hairline and softly shushing him towards tranquility.

And following his partners' example, Link regained his consciousness as well, but unlike his companions, he woke with a start instead of a scream, remembering the last ordeal he faced.

"WHOA!!" Link yelped as he sat up in his bed. "...whoa." He murmured, watching Mida and Nabooru ignore his resurrection and continue to seemingly smother his friends.

Before he decided to take the initiative and save his allies, he realized he'd never have another opportunity like this again. He crept out of his bed, shrugging off the reawakened pain in his shoulder and snuck towards a preoccupied Mida.

"Shut up, damn you! SHUT THE HELL UP!!" Mida tried screaming over a roaring Mario but failed as his bellows sounded even louder than before. "UGH!!" She let out as she was seconds from pulling her hair out.

"**BLAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!**" Link suddenly boomed crisply right into Mida's undefended ear.

He sounded off so unexpectedly and so loudly that she had no choice but to let out a terrified scream of her own as she fell over Mario's bed and clumsily to the floor. Link had no choice but to drop to his knees and curl up into a ball of hysterics.

"THAT WASN'T FUNNY, YOU HYLIAN HORSEASS!!" Mida shouted, shoving Link over with a strong foot thrust after scrambling to her feet. Even after shouting it at him, it was impossible to tell him that as he continued his uproarious joviality.

And to add insult to injury, Luigi and Mario's uncontrollable screaming came to a calm end.

"...I'm alive." Mario announced, partially in disbelief.

Nabooru let a smile creep onto her face as Mario finally came back to his senses. She looked down to the Mario brother she was tending to, finding him with a grin in his eyes, as well as on his face. With her hand still tenderly on his forehead, he had no reason not to.

"Smile now, sweetie. You'll never wake up to this face again." Nabooru said as she patted Luigi's cheek.

"Damn, Nabi. Harsh." Link grimly stated, abruptly cutting off his laughter.

"He knows I'm just playing around with him." Nabooru said.

"So then there _is_ a chan--"

"No." Nabooru quickly cut off a hopeful Luigi.

"_Harsh_." Link repeated with emphasis.

"I'll tell you the same thing I told Raznia; you set 'em up and I'll knock 'em down. It doesn't matter who it is." Nabooru said.

"Speakin' of her, where is she? I saw freakin' Mida _three times _before I saw Raz once." Link held up three fingers. "Somethin's wrong with that."

"Of course you saw me the most. I'm the one who mended your shoulder back together." Mida said, almost sounded offended. "You should be kissing my feet right now. No one would take as good care of you as I did."

"There's so many things wrong with what you just said, I almost wanna knock myself out so I don'thave to tell you everythin' that was wrong." Link said.

"You don't have to go through all that trouble. Just stand back and poke your chin out a little so _I _can do it for you." Mida offered.

"I would, but you'd probably break your flimsy-ass fist against my face. Gerudo women are strong, and I'm not tryin' to make you look weak. An asshole, at least, but not weak."

If there was one thing that could get to not only Mida, but _any _Gerudo woman, it was being called weak. She couldn't let that challenge slide.

"Then come on, Link. If you really think so, let's test it out. Stick your chin out and I _promise _I will leave you laid out, seeing stars." Mida guaranteed.

"Here it is, baby." Link taunted Mida by poking his chin out and pointing at it. "Give it your all, but don't cry too hard after my face renders your wack-ass fist useless."

Mida let out a minimally amused giggle. "Keep talking, you cocky bastard." She tickled under Link's chin before lining up her fist up with her anticipated point of contact and cocked it back.

"That's enough." Mario put his over Mida's and pushed it down. "Both of you are too stubborn to back down, and I know this won't end well."

Mida looked down at Mario, then looked up to Link, who was still provoking her by pointing at his chin. Reacting just as he hoped, she suddenly wound her fist back, seconds away from burying it into his cheek.

"Mida, don't!" Nabooru grabbed Mida's arm with both hands. "Listen to Mario. It's a bad idea."

"He's asking for it, Nabooru. You know that! Why are you two protecting him?" Mida demanded.

"I don't know about Mario, but I'm protecting _you_." Nabooru said. "If you touch Link, and Raznia finds out, she's going to flip. And you already know how she feels about you. I don't know if I can protect you from her."

"Whatever." Mida shook off Mario and Nabooru and left the room in a hurry, but not before shoving Link, who purposely stood in front of the exit, out of the way.

"Link, what's wrong with you?" Nabooru demanded, staring daggers into Link.

"You should askin' Mida that question." Link shot back. "After all the bullshit she put me through, she's lucky it wasn't _me_ cocking _my_ fist back."

"Who exactly is Mida?" Luigi wondered.

"A bitch in every sense of the word, Luigi." Link quickly answered.

"Link, enough." Nabooru sternly insisted. "Mida is Raznia's older sister."

"WHAT?!!" Link nearly fell over. "What?! They're related? Get outta here! Them?! Raznia's too sweet to be eternally bonded to a bitch like her!"

"Link, you may not like her, but you haveto stop calling her that. She's close enough to me to be _my _sister, and I don't appreciate _anyone _talking about my family like that." Nabooru strictly stated.

"...sorry." Link apologetically muttered. "But really? Sisters? The whole time I knew her... Raznia never mentioned _any _family besides you."

"They have a rocky relationship. If you want to know more, ask one of them." Nabooru suggested. "But you didn't come here just to find out about Mida and Raznia. And, even though we appreciate everything you three have done for us, you didn't come just to help us with our crisis, either."

Link, Mario, and Luigi all looked to each other gravely.

"Ganondorf." Nabooru guessed.

"And Bowser." Mario added.

"Bowser?" Nabooru repeated the unfamiliar name.

"He's the Ganondorf of the Mushroom Kingdom, where me and my brother are from." Mario explained. "He kidnapped Peach and joined forces with Ganondorf, who kidnapped Zelda."

"Heh." Link let out a laugh, which caught everyone off-guard, causing them to turn to him incredulously. "Sorry. I just thought of somethin' else. Perfect timin', right?"

"We need your help as the Spirit sage." Mario requested.

"Well, I'm glad you came to me, but I don't know how much help I can give." Nabooru admitted. "Ganondorf is much more powerful than any sage on their own. It'll take the combined power of _all_ the sages to beat him, including Zelda."

"Not this time." Link stepped in. "Ganondorf made this personal. Since day one, it's been about gettin' to me when I'm most vulnerable. He's been tryin' to prove that I'm weak. That, without everyone's help, I would've never beat him. And you know what? I started to believe him." He said with a low voice and a hanging head. "But because of Mario..." He looked to his comrade in red. "...because of Luigi..." He looked to his comrade in green. "Because of you, Raznia, Samus, Falco, Fox... Because of all my friends, I _am _strong. You all make me feel strong enough to beat Ganondorf on my own and prove to him that I'm stronger than he can ever imagine. And that's exactly what I'm gonna do."

"Rousing speech, Link." Luigi nodded.

"Yeah." Nabooru agreed. "Strong words. But it makes me wonder... If you're feeling so confident and planning on taking him on by yourself, why do you need my help? What can I give you that you don't already have?"

"Light arrows." Link answered. "I can handle Ganondorf as long as doesn't transform, but we all know that he's gonna do it. It's the only thing he has over me. I need that equalizer if I plan on winnin'. Which I do."

"Hmm." Nabooru hummed. "Well, Link, I'd be happy to add to that strength. ...if I could."

"...what?" Link, Mario, and Luigi gasped after a moment of denial.

"The Light arrows are entrusted to the leader of the seven sages. Only she can give them to you." Nabooru explained.

"Wha... but..." Link stammered. He was so sure Nabooru would be able to help him. "But you can talk to Rauru, right? What about him? The Sage of Light? Light arrows? There's no connection at all?"

"Rauru watches over the Light temple, which is the last sanctuary of the sages and the only place Light arrows are created." Nabooru said. "He prays to the Goddesses constantly to keep the barrier that protects it from evil up. That's his role as a sage. He doesn't distribute the merchandise, he only protects it."

"I can't believe this... Story of our lives." Luigi groaned, finally rising from his bed and leaving the room like the Gerudo sisters before him.

"...I should follow him." Mario decided. "Things like this leave him feeling pretty low."

"He's not the only one, man..." Link sighed. "I'll see you guys in a bit."

With a nod, Mario followed his brother out of the room.

"I managed to clear out an entire room of people..." Nabooru murmured as she took a seat on the edge of one of the beds.

"Not really. I'm still here, Nabi." Link reminded her, taking a seat next to her. "Just look at it this way: at least it wasn't because you farted."

Nabooru could only look at Link incredulously. "How could you insinuate... Girls don't fart!"

"The secret's out, Nabi. Zelda let it 'slip'. I almost died that night..." Link stated with a hint of severity.

"I dunno about Zelda, but the rest of us keep our 'secrets' to ourselves." Nabooru said. "It's better for everyone that way."

"Damn right." Link nodded in agreement.

"Let's change the subject..." Nabooru suggested. "Ganondorf's really at it again?"

"Yeah. He's the reason Nightmare came through." Link said.

"Hmm. I never would've thought Nightmare was just a lackey. He was evil and powerful enough to seem self-motivated." Nabooru said.

"Nightmare's story is kinda complicated." Link said. "He was definitely self-motivated in gathering souls. But Ganondorf led him here. You know I'll pay him back for all of you."

"You already kinda paid him back, didn't you?" Nabooru asked.

"What do you mean?" Link wondered.

"Well, when you kill the master-mind's lackey, it kinda sends a powerful message, doesn't it?" Nabooru pointed out.

"Well, yeah... but... I didn't kill anyone." Link pointed out.

"Really? Then how did Nightmare die? Why is there a hole through his throat?" Nabooru interrogated.

"Nabi... What the hell?" Link rose from his seat while staring cautiously at his Gerudian interrogator. "Even if I did kill him, why are you pressin' me so hard?"

"She's going to be so mad at me when she finds out..." Nabooru muttered. "I'm asking because of Raznia. She was up when you ended the battle. She saw you kill him."

"...wha...?" Link couldn't even speak.

"You killed him. Mercilessly, too. She couldn't believe it. So much, in fact, that it broke her for a little while." Nabooru said. "And I know she reacted that way because she has feelings for you."

"She told you about that?" Link said in a low voice.

"She's my 'sister', Link. She tells me about everything." Nabooru stated.

"But... I don't... I don't remember any of this... It couldn't have been me. I blacked out after Nightmare threw Raz's sword through my shoulder." Link recounted.

"I passed out after Nightmare lost control of my soul." Nabooru remembered. "I'd usually take Raz's word unconditionally, but this is something for you two to get straight. This might be more complicated than we think..."

"I'll talk to her." Link said.

"You better." Nabooru agreed with a threatening tone. "But what are you gonna do about Ganondorf? I haven't kept in touch with the other sages, and Mario and Luigi sound like they'll be busy with that Bowser-guy. You'll really be on your own."

"You're talkin' like you don't know Raznia's gonna sneak out at night to follow me and try to help out. Plus, I've gotten a lot stronger since the last time you saw me." Link pointed out. "Honestly, I think I'm only here because Ganondorf tricked me. I would've fought him already if he didn't convince me I couldn't beat him without Light arrows. And he knows me so well, he knew I'd come here first. This whole thing was a trap, and you guys were in the middle of it all. I think he knows I don't need Light arrows this time."

"As much as I hate to remind myself... he's a Gerudo. We're good at what we do. ...no matter what it is." Nabooru begrudgingly stated.

"Well, I just have to be better at what _I _do. Simple as that." Link said as he got up and made for the door. He came to a sudden stop, however.

"What?" Nabooru wondered as he turned back to look at her.

A smile crept up on his face. "You should go first. Just so you can say you didn't make all five people in this room leave."

"That's sweet, Link." She said with a laugh. Before she exited the room, with a pinch to his cheek, "Just so you know, you don't have to come back and tell me what went on between you two. Raz'll probably tell me soon enough anyway."

"My version would probably be better, though..." Link said.

"Maybe... Your exaggerations were always funny." Nabooru admitted. "I _do _want to see you and your friends off, though. Let me know when you're leaving."

"I will." Link agreed.

And with a smile, Nabooru left the room.

* * *

"Luigi!" Mario shouted as he finally caught up with his brother.

He slowed to a stop and looked back. He forced himself to greet Mario with a smile.

"Yeah, you're happy to see me now, but you were really trying to kill me back there." Mario said with a huff of a laugh.

"You were trying just as hard as I was. I almost thought you were going to win." Luigi said.

"I probably would've if I didn't suddenly realize it was you." Mario pointed out.

"Pfft, with that overcompensation-ball you were touting?" Luigi let out a laugh. "All I had to do was pull a spin-move on you and the fight would've been over. You may've been fast, but there's no way you'd be able to turn around quick enough to protect yourself."

"You want to go at it again, then?" Mario offered, opening his palm and letting an orb of fire materialize.

"No. One near-death experience before noon is more than enough for me." Luigi declined politely.

"Same here." Mario promptly extinguished the ball of flame. "Besides, we still need to deal with Bowser and Ganondorf. We'll save it for them."

"That, we will." Luigi agreed with a nod.

"So how are you feeling?" Mario wondered. "You looked like you were about to cry after what Nabooru said."

"Hey, I'm like Link. I don't cry." Luigi boasted, though with a wink. "Seriously, though, I was mad before, but then I remembered what he said yesterday: whoever's controlling this gigantic game of screw-worthiness and dumb-luck always seems to let it end in our favor. We're tested over and over again, and no matter how bad it gets, we still pull it off stronger than ever. Especially now." Luigi let stray streaks of electricity jump from his body as a testament to his new powers. "Maybe we don't need the Light arrows."

"I hope not. Otherwise..." Mario trailed off, not even wanting to consider the alternative.

"THERE YOU TWO ARE!!" An angry feminine voice called out.

Mario and Luigi's heads turned towards the source of the call.

"That's Mida, right?" Luigi pondered.

"Yeah. She looks like she's on a warpath." Mario noticed.

"...should we fight?" Luigi wondered, letting sparks of electricity fly from his fingers.

"No... not the best idea." Mario disagreed.

"...should we run?" Luigi wondered, letting sparks of electricity fly from his shoes.

"I feel like she'd chase us to the edge of oblivion. Let's just try to talk to her. She can't be as bad as Link says." Mario thought.

Just in time to test his assumption, Mida stopped in front of the Mario brothers.

"Hey, Mid-"

"You're done talking." Mida clamped her fingers together, signifying what their mouths should be doing. "Right now, I'm asking questions and you're answering them. Nothing else."

Mario's eyes narrowed. Barely a second had gone by and already he was agreeing with Link's assumption.

"Question number one: why the hell did you three destroy the Training Grounds?" Mida spat more than asked.

"Think about that question for a second. Why the hell would we wantto destroy the Training Grounds in the first place? There was nothing to destroy!" Mario shot back.

"Which is exactly why I'm asking." Mida said. "Some of our girls saw you hanging around the ruins, looking suspicious. Put that together with the fact that I dragged you, your brother's, and Link's shattered asses to the infirmary after that explosion. What do you expect me to think? You were obviously plotting against us!"

"Why would..." Mario's growing anger wouldn't allow him to wrap his head around Mida's accusations. Even if people saw him near the Training Grounds, how could they automatically assume he was out to destroy it?

"Okay, you two are getting nowhere." Luigi stepped in. "Both of you are asking the wrong questions. Let's talk about why we were there in the first place."

"Didn't I say you can't talk until I ask you a question? We're doing this my way." Mida snapped at Luigi.

He only smiled in response.

"What the hell are you smiling about?"

"You just asked me not one, but _two _questions! And I'm not answering either of them!" Luigi shook his head with a beaming smile, which gained a threatening growl from Mida. "Since I can now speak, I'll tell you want you want to hear, but we'll do it _the Luigi way_. Incidentally, everyone loves the Luigi way."

"Incidentally, I love whichever way gets me what I want. Talk." Mida ordered.

"Mario'll start us off." Luigi turned to his brother. "How'd you get to the Training Grounds?"

"Well, that's actually what made me so angry at first. I don't remember going there at all." Mario admitted.

"But you _were _there." Mida insisted. "I pulled you out from under the rubble. You can't tell me I didn't."

With a heavy sigh, "...fine. I was there, apparently. Now how'd I get there? I'll say it again, I _don't _remember going near there."

"Well, what were you doing before then?" Luigi asked his brother.

"Sleeping."

"...sleepwalking?" Mida guessed.

"Makes a lot of sense..." Luigi verified.

"But I don't sleepwalk..." Mario defended.

"You sure do sleep-_talk_, though. You have some strange, pasta-related dreams sometimes..." Luigi said, gaining a sour look from Mario. Suddenly, his face lit up as if he realized something. "What'd you dream about?"

"Dream? It was more like a nightmare. ...about Nightmare." Mario said.

"Keep talking." Mida urged, intrigued by the mention of the name.

"It was me, Link, Luigi, and Raznia against Nightmare, and we were losing badly." Mario recounted.

"You were the last one left?" Luigi asked.

"Yeah." Mario said.

"You heard snickering, then two orbs appeared?"

"One fire and one lightning."

"Took the fire?"

"And TORCHED Nightmare."

"Woke up in a grand entrance?"

"...more like a dilapidated chamber with a ghost."

"Flambéed foul apparition of the netherworld (trademarked)?"

"I say fricasseed. Either way, he was crispy."

"Then things got crazy."

"Another-me-with-thunder-powers crazy."

"That was me."

"So the other you, meaning the other _me_,was Link."

"Yep. And I have to admit, I don't look good without a shirt."

"Same here... Love-handles are unbecoming..."

"I don't remember having an outie..."

"Okay... you two lost me." Mida said. "What the hell just happened?"

"I'll recap." Link unexpectedly stepped in from around the corner, as if he was waiting for the prime opportunity to take over. Because he was. "Mario and Luigi had the same dream, kinda. Where Mario took the fire orb, Luigi took the lightning orb. After they defeated Nightmare and woke up, they somehow ended up inside the Training Grounds and found a Poe. They attacked it and thought they killed it, but it only freed them from the illusion of solitude and bought on the _new_ illusion of vengeful jealousy AKA they had to fight the power they rejected, not knowin' they were actually fightin' each other. And just before they could kill each other, I showed up, killed the Poe they thought they killed, ended the illusion, and saved Gerudo Valley."

"You destroyed the Training Grounds and sent nine people, including yourselves, back to the infirmary." Mida pointed out.

"Better nine than EVERYONE. But then again, there would be no infirmary to take anyone to. Everythin' between Hyrule Field and the Desert Colossus would've been a smokin' crater." Link said.

"How'd you know the Poe was still there?" Mario wondered.

"I wanna say my powers give me the ability to see the unseen, but that's not true." Link admitted. "The Poe can make itself disappear, but the lantern it carries never does. It was hidden in a corner. And with you two fightin' each other so hard, you woulda never noticed it."

"...but when I 'killed' my Poe, it dropped its lantern. That's how my fire-copy showed up." Luigi remembered.

"Same thing happened to me." Mario added.

"Guys, what don't you understand about the concept of illusions?" Mida asked. "Poes are _masters_ of illusions. You two got lucky. That one was an ambitious idiot. Giving you new powers to kill each other with? If it were me, I would've just led you to quicksand and called it a day."

"Just go with the sure thing, right?" Luigi nodded.

"Why make things harder than they have to be?" Mida said.

"Because it'd feel that much better when everythin' falls through. Quicksand is borin' as hell. Fire versus lightning? Now _that's _cool." Link said.

"If you say so, Link." Mida rolled her eyes. "Well now that I know what happened, I'm not as mad as I was before. You guys still need to be more careful, though."

"...we were sleeping." Mario held his hands out in disbelief at the fact that Mida was still blaming them.

"Excuses." Mida shook her head.

"Mario, I'm gonna save you a lotta pain and say 'run away as fast as you can before she drives you crazy'." Link suggested. "I'm actually about to do that. In Raznia's general direction. I gotta find her before we leave."

"She's probably in her room." Mida guessed. "Do you even know where that is?"

"I can stumble into a few wrong rooms before I figure it out. That's how I do things." Link said.

"Why don't I just show you?" Mida offered. "You'd get there faster and you'd look less like an idiot."

"But after you're done with her, shouldn't we... kind of... do some more recovering?" Luigi wondered. "We _did_ just wake up from a near-death experience. And before that, we woke up from _another _near-death experience."

"Not a problem. You know about Hyrule's Fairies, right?" After Luigi nodded, "We have _Great _Fairies here in Hyrule. They'll heal _any _wound. Mida kindly offered to take us to one, but I'm gonna give that job to Raz. We like her more."

"Awww, but I wanted to take you guys _so badly_!" Mida chanted, though obviously sarcastic. "...is that what you wanted to hear? I don't even know where you got the idea that it'd be _me _taking you."

"You don't have to take it so hard, Mida." Link said, though with the slightest of sneers.

"Let's just go so we can get away from each other." Mida said after a heavy sigh.

"That's probably the best thing you'll ever say to anyone." Link commended her word choice with a nod. "You guys comin'?" He turned to the Mario brothers.

"Actually, me and Luigi are going to sort out exactly what we can do with these new powers." Mario said.

"That's a _really _good idea." Luigi agreed. "Trial-and-error will only get us so far..."

"As long as you two are _far _away from the Fortress, I don't care what you do." Mida began to walk down the hall.

"Take it easy guys. Literally! No super-moves that threaten to destroy Gerudo Valley." Link scolded.

"Trust us, we'll keep things simple." Mario guaranteed as both duos parted ways.


	32. Only the Beginning: Part 10

*AUTHOR'S NOTE* This is the second half to Act 10: Part 9. Read the first half before continuing.

* * *

**Act 10****: ****_Only the Beginning _**(Part 10)

_**SLAM!!**_

Raznia quickly turned around to find Link breathing heavily as he leaned against her door, fumbling with the lock on the doorknob.

"Link?" Raznia asked.

"I ditched her." Link mischievously giggled as he finally locked the door.

"Who?" Raznia wondered.

"Your annoyin' sister."

Raznia's face almost turned at the mention of her sibling. "Why were you with her?"

"It wasn't like I _wanted _to chill with her." Link quickly clarified. "I was just gonna search you out on my own, but the all-knowin' Mida said you'd be in your room and decided to show me the way. I wasn't havin' that, though. I told her we should stop by my room first so I can put on the rest of my clothes. Thanks for the new tunic, by the way." He smiled as he pecked Raznia on the cheek.

Raznia was admittedly caught off-guard by Link's gratitude. She actually had nothing to do with his new wardrobe. But even so...

"You're welcome." She replied after replacing her puzzled look with a polite smile.

"Yeah, so right after I put on my hood just the way I like it, I jumped out the window, thinkin' I could escape her just like I did earlier. But NO, Mida got wise and was waitin' right at the bottom. She called me an idiot and we started walkin'. I was gonna make the most of it and get her side of the story, but I decided to make her look over there." Link suddenly burst out laughing. "I still can't believe she fell for that. I pointed at a wall!"

"What story?" Raznia asked.

"The one about your bad relationship." Link said. "You have a sister, Raz. All this time, I thought you were like me; the only family you had were your friends."

"Why should it matter?" Raznia rose her voice.

"Raz... she's your sister." Link pointed out.

"_HALF_-sister." Raznia quickly corrected. "Meaning what she knows about me couldn't fill _half _a bottle."

"She has to know at least that much." Link insisted, shaking her head. "You two are related by blood!"

"Link..." Raznia let out a frustrated sigh. "You don't understand. Just because we came from the same mother doesn't make us best friends. I don't like Mida and I never will. I don't even like to talk about her. So, having said that, let's stop talking about her."

"Raz... wow... I never woulda thought _anyone _could get to you." Link was admittedly shocked by Raznia reluctance.

All she did was let out a huff.

"I don't hide the fact that I don't like Mida. She thinks she's _sooo _great, but there's no proof of it! She thinks she's always right and dares you to prove her wrong."

"That's exactly what I don't like about her." Raznia agreed. "I've been dealing with that for years, Link! And guess what? Her attitude problem never grew on me. Why would I ever like someone like that, regardless of whether we're related or not?"

"There's way more to it than that." Link said. "I'm payin' attention to the little things: the way your face turned when I first mentioned her, the way your mood _swung_ when I bought up the fact that she's your sis--"

"_Half_-sister." Raznia corrected once again.

"Whether you're drinkin' half a bottle of LonLon milk or a whole bottle, you're still drinkin' LonLon milk, right?" Link bought up with a convincing eyebrow. "What I'm gettin' at is you two are _still _sisters. What happened between you two? It's like you literally have somethin' against her. It's almost like you _hate _her."

"Link, just stop." Raznia demanded. "If this is all you came to talk about, you're better off just going."

"You're kickin' me out?" Link gasped, almost sounding shocked.

"If that's what it takes to get you off that subject." Raznia said.

"Fine, we'll change the subject." Link agreed. "Nab told me you were up when I finished my battle with Nightmare."

"She what?!" Raznia's eyes went wide with shock.

"She also told me you'd be mad about that. I guess she was right about both things." Link determined. "She said you think I killed him."

"You did kill him..." Raznia muttered, unable to look at Link's face momentarily. "I saw your sword go right through his neck."

"Raz..."

_"Link, I should let you know we're treading thin ice here."_

_What do you mean?_

_"You said you wanted to save the man behind the evil sword, and yet you killed him anyway. Why would you do that?"_

_I'm guessin' this has somethin' to do with you._

_"Sharp as always. The same way you have a plethora of powers you now can't use, so do I. After you found Raznia's weapon in your shoulder, your consciousness left the pilot's seat opened. I figured out how to take control. So I did just that and finished what you started."_

_...why does this make me feel so uncomfortable all of a sudden?_

_"It shouldn't. I just said it's a power I can't use anymore. It can help my madness-side take over again. Something _neither _of us want._

_"Now, what I meant by treading thin ice: I can see you figuring out I had a hand in the battle's end and you'd end up telling Miss Raznia about it. Remember what I said in that long talk we had: there'll be that air of mistrust. You're already seeing it and you didn't even tell her about me yet. Let's not forget the fact that you didn't even see her _once _while you were bedridden. You bought that fact up yourself."_

_I was just jokin' around. She was goin' through her own episode. I'm not gonna read too deeply into that._

_"Well, I will because it's a possibility. She was afraid of you. Hell, just now, she couldn't even look you in the eye."_

_You're overreactin', Dark Link._

_"If you think so. You still can't tell her about me, no matter how badly you want to."_

_Then how do I explain why I killed Nightmare?_

_"Simple. Tell the truth. After I took over, Nightmare was about to kill Raznia. He had her by the throat with his monstrous hand. I _had _to kill him. Nothing he could do would convince me otherwise. And I just felt your heart shift. You would've done the same thing."_

_I would've..._

_"There you go. And that's what you tell Raznia."_

Despite their conversation, Link only seemed like he hesitated to speak momentarily.

"Link, what?" Raznia wondered as she finally turned to Link and watched his eyes wander away from her.

"Raz... I _had_... to kill him." Link forced himself to say. "He had you by the neck. You couldn't defend yourself. What else was I supposed to do? I couldn't forgive him for that."

Raznia couldn't argue against that. She remembered what she felt at that moment: pure helplessness. Back then, she wished with all her heart that something, _anything_, would save her and send that menace back to whatever twisted, undiscovered level of Hell he came from. And her wish came true in its entirety. Even if he was apologetic, Nightmare's deeds couldn't be forgiven by a fleeting moment of regret.

"You did save me. Just like I'd expect my hero to." Raznia closed in on Link, wrapping her arms around him. "I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. You did what you had to do. Who knows where I'd be if you didn't?"

"It definitely wouldn't be in my arms." Link said, putting his hands on Raznia's waist.

"How do I make it up to you?" Raznia said with a suggestive smile.

Link couldn't help put let a grin take over his face as well. "There's only one thing I want, baby."

"Anything." Raznia's voice gained a sultry tone.

"Come here." Link bought Raznia's face close to his. He kissed her lips gently, then worked his way to her ear. With a whisper, "...tell me about Mida."

Link face was so close to Raznia, even his peripheral vision would've never saw the angry fist sailing right to his cheek. Looking up to flustered girlfriend from the floor, "...I (ow) probably should've (ow! Hurts to talk...) bought that up in a different way."

"And I probably should've made you leave a long time ago." Raznia decided, unlocking the door and opening the path for Link's exit.

Standing directly in that path was Mida, however. Raznia's brow instantly furrowed.

"I heard my name a few times." Mida answered before Raznia could ask. "You'd want to know what others are saying about you, wouldn't you?" She asked rhetorically in her usual malapert tone.

"Do me a favor: get your imprudent, eavesdropping-ass away from my room." Raznia grabbed Link by the back of his shirt and threw him into the hallway. "And take him with you." She promptly slammed the door, leaving no room for discussion.

Still facing the closed door, Mida could only laugh.

"How could you laugh now? Raz probably just broke my face and, dependin' on how long you've been listenin', she seems to have a really low opinion of you." Link pointed out with a tender hand on his cheek.

"I figured you'd find your way here after you ditched me, so I thought I'd wait here. You're pretty fast. I got here right when you said 'look over there'." Mida said.

"Did you?" Link asked with a giggle, then an immediate grimace because of the pain a simple smile caused him.

"_That's_ why I'm laughing. Payback is such a bitch." Mida taunted, noticing Link's pained expression. "If it wasn't me that'd knock you flat on your ass, it'd be my sister. Or my _half_-sister, as she made so clear."

"Crystal... But why does it seem so one-sided? The way you just reacted to what she just did..." Link just shook his head. "This is doesn't make any sense. If there's anyone you'd actually be nice to, it'd be Raznia, but if there's anyone Raznia would be straight-up rude to, it's you."

"That's basically it. Raznia hates me, but I love her." Mida admitted with an uncharacteristic fondness. "It's probably my only weakness. I'd do anything for my family, no matter what."

"An affectionate Mida and a venomous Raznia... My world is slowly crumblin'..." Link groaned. "How the hell does somethin' like that happen? In these types of situations, the feelin' is usually mutual; there's either love all-around or hate."

"It's complicated... I don't even like to talk about it. It didn't affect only me and Raz, you know. The whole fortress was in an uproar." Mida said.

"Well, since I won't be hearin' it from Raz, you'll have to do." Link settled with a shrug.

"I don't know if I want to talk to you." Mida hesitated. "Can I even trust you with something like this? Now that I think about it, this might even strain what we have, as if it wasn't strangled enough."

"Look at it this way; I can't like you any _less_." Link pointed out.

"And that's your argument to convince me to tell you about my past... What the hell does Raznia see in you?" Mida wondered sincerely.

"I'm the Hero of Time." Link simply stated as his gallant fanfare blared throughout the relative silence of the fortress's living quarters.

"You've got to be kidding me..." Mida uttered in pure awe.

"Don't make me say it again." Link warned.

"You know what; this is probably giving you too much credit, but I see what you're trying to do. There's obviously no reason for you to know what I'm about to say other than the fact that you're just nosy." Mida said. "But on the other hand, there's no reason for me to _not _say anything other than the fact that I'm just spiteful."

"As much as I hate to admit it, you're right. You did give me too much credit. I was just tryin' to annoy you." Link admitted.

"Well, you got what you want plus a bonus. I feel like telling a story." Mida actually smiled, much to Link's surprise. "Walk with me." She commanded as she began to move down the hall.

"We better be walkin' to the infirmary. My cheek is still killin' me." Link reminded her, still with a hand on the point of contact.

"Yeah, it's starting to swell up pretty nicely. I taught my little sis well." Mida boasted with a smug grin.

"I thought Nab taught Raz everything she knows." Link remembered Raznia being under Nabooru's instruction when they first met.

"Yeah, that was after Raz decided to distance herself from almost everything that connected me to her: including fighting style. She can't unlearn how strong I made her, though." Mida said. "It all happened during our sparing session in the Haunted Wasteland."

"How the hell could you have a good fight there?" Link almost shouted. "You can't see anythin' but sand and madness!"

"Me and Raz used to be so evenly matched, we started battling in ridiculous places and set up even crazier stipulations: at Gerudo Valley's Bridge, we used to jump off with Cuccos and battle to the bottom, trying to knock each other into the river. At Death Mountain Crater, we fought until one of us had our clothes burned off. And, of course, the loser had to walk home half-naked." Mida snickered at the memory of Raznia begging for a shirt to borrow. "We even fought right in the middle of Hyrule Castle Town. The stipulation there was the first person to injure a Hylian lost. Don't worry, we bought plenty of fairies for that one."

"You two were crazy." Link determined, shaking his head.

"We were young and carefree. Well, we still are, but even moreso back then. We never thought about the consequences. We just had fun." Mida warmly stated. "The battle in the Haunted Wasteland was actually pretty straight-forward: we just fought until one of us couldn't anymore. The stipulation was the environment. It's like you said: all we could see was sand, so we had to get creative. Raznia was into exotic perfume back then, so I just concentrated on her scent, which was easier said than done because of all the sand that got blown up my nose. She never told me how she was able to find me, but she caught me off-guard pretty often. Whenever I got back the upper-hand, she'd disappear into the sandstorm. She was so sneaky... the perfect Gerudo thief.

"At one point, I heard footsteps in the sand. I thought I finally had a chance to surprise _her _for a change. I was gonna get her with a kick to the back, but when I made contact, it was like kicking a stone wall. Suddenly, the sand cleared like someone pulled back some curtains. I almost wanted to cough up my own heart after I realized who I was looking up to: Ganondorf!"

"Ganondorf?!" Link gasped.

"The King of Evil in the flesh, and I just kicked him in the back. Before he even did anything, he smirked at me, almost like he approved."

"You sure it was a smile of pity? A smile like he was thinkin' 'someone's gonna die today'?" Link suggested.

"It was weird. For a second, I thought he was gonna give me a hug. But, like he heard my thoughts and wanted to prove me wrong, he drew his sword. I had two scimitars to pit against him, but the numbers weren't on my side." Mida shook her head. "I couldn't run, though. I had to face him."

"Foolish Gerudo pride?" Link wondered.

"Shut up and no. It was... something else." Mida said. "I had to throw my best moves at him right off the bat. I jumped at him with my Moonsault Slayer. He literally stopped me in mid-air and threw me backward with his darkness. Just when I looked up, I saw a wave of sand coming at me. I had no idea whether he was using it as a veil to hide himself or if there was some other nasty surprise waiting if I got hit. I hopped to my feet and clamped my swords together at the hilt for my Blade Fusion. Right when the wave was in my face, I slashed right through it with my new double-edge scimitar. Ganondorf was ready with a ball of darkness in his hand and threw it at me as soon as he saw my face. He acted so fast, I didn't know what to do. When the ball was close enough, I spun around with a Gerudo Tornado and hit it as hard as I could, hoping for the best."

"You have names for all your moves?" Link wondered about the strange titles Mida was giving all her actions.

"Hey, I'm telling the story and you're listening. Shut up and stay on the edge of your seat." Mida commanded.

"But we're walkin'..."

"You want me to end it here?" Mida threatened.

"Fine, fine. I'm done talkin'. Your turn." Link gave the figurative mic back to her.

"Thank you. Now where was I? Before some _Zero _of Time decided he had a problem with my narrative." Mida vindictively glared at her one-man audience.

"You deflected Ganondorf's attack back at him." Link reminded her with a groan. "Just so you know, I've been doin' that to him since the dawn of time."

"Shut up, Link. For those of us who _haven't _fought Ganondorf before, I was surprised that I actually made contact. I think even he was surprised because it took him a second to react. That's all I needed to make my move: I ripped my scimitars apart and used them to burrow through the sand. Before he could even guess I was behind him, I exploded from the sand and came down on him as hard as I could, screaming louder than I probably ever will. But it wasn't enough... He reminded me why he was the most feared Gerudo in our history. He managed to catch his own attack and timed it so that when I showed up, he could bury it in my chest. I got the wind and probably some other stuff knocked out of me. Right then, I thought I was gonna die."

"But then Raz came and saved you." Link concluded.

"Who's telling the story, Link? Were you there?" Mida huffed.

"Mida, it's obvious. You know how many times I've been through somethin' like that? Hell, when me and my peeps took on Nightmare, that happened probably..." Link trailed off a bit to think of a reasonable number. "...a _hundred _times."

"Just let _me_ tell_ my_ story." Mida requested. "Contrary to what you think, Raznia _did not _save me. I was still with my face in the sand, waiting for Ganondorf to finish me off. Instead, I felt myself get yanked up by my wrists."

"Raznia?" Link guessed.

"_No_. Ganondorf clamped both my wrists in his hand. He lifted me up so I was staring him in the face. We both know he's really tall, so I was just dangling in the wind, feeling small and helpless. For the record, I _hate _feeling helpless." Mida growled. "Suddenly, he just started laughing. 'That's it? You done?' he asked me. I was confused. He sounded like he was waiting for me to get him with another Moonsault Slayer. 'What, you scared of me? Talk! I know you know who I am. You probably have a whole lot to say.' He kept urging me to speak, and yeah, I did have a bunch of things to ask him, but at that time, I was speechless. I never _ever _would've thought I'd be face-to-face with him. I did finally think of something to say, though. '**BOOOOOOOOM!!**'"

Mida nearly jumped into Link's face as she suddenly sounded off.

"...what the hell was that?" Link wondered with a perplexed eyebrow, not even faltering despite Mida's unexpected outburst.

"You're supposed to be fearfully clutching your heart."

"From that? If that was supposed to be payback for screamin' in your ear, you're gonna have to try harder. You fell _on the floor_. There's really no comin' back from that." Link laughed.

"Shut up..." Mida grumbled. "It didn't work like I wanted (because you suck...), but that actually _is _part of my story. Before I could even say anything, there was suddenly an explosion at the side of Ganondorf's head. We both hit the floor, but I was left in much better shape than he was. Raznia _finally _saved me by kicking Ganondorf right in the temple with a bomb flower. Don't ask me where she found it. She didn't say anything to me afterward, though. She went straight for Ganondorf. I knew exactly what she was gonna do."

"But you didn't let her. Even after gettin' macked by Ganondorf, you jumped up and stopped Raznia from killin' him." Link narrated as if he was there.

"God damn it, Link, why do you keep doing that?!" Mida pounded Link's arm with a frustrated fist.

"You're not too good at tellin' stories. It's pretty easy to figure out what happens next. Sorry." Link shrugged, though his tone didn't sound very apologetic.

"Fine. I'm no wordsmith and I can't tell a story. But remember that this really _did _happen. Why would I save Ganondorf, the King of Evil? Do you know, Mr. Know-It-All?" Mida poked Link's chest with her finger as she asked.

"I don't." Link simply stated.

"...that's it?" Mida almost seemed surprised at Link's surrender. "No witty guesses?"

"I can predict a story but I suck at figurin' out motives. They only turn obvious after I look back and think about it. I hate retrospect because of that..." Link admitted with a bitter tone.

Mida suddenly found herself grinning. "You're gonna wanna kick yourself in the back for this one. If everyone calls Ganondorf the King of Evil, then I'm the princess."

Link suddenly found himself puzzled. "...why? You'd have to be his... daugh...ter... Hold on..."

"No, you're right." Mida nodded.

"You... ...you? His daugh... ...you say it." Link could only request.

"Why? You guessed it and I verified. But if it means that much: Ganondorf _is_ my dad." Mida stated.

"But... but..." Link sputtered, looking for words to convey his utter disbelief. "...how old are you?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Mida wondered, screw-faced with confusion. "I wouldn't lie about this. There's no reason to. Why would anyone pretend to be the daughter of pure diabolical intent incarnated?"

"I'm not sayin' you're lyin'. I'm obviously in shock." Link said. "Not only at the fact that you're my worst enemy's daughter, but at the fact that someone would actually... have his child." Link euphemistically explained.

"Is it really that hard to believe?" Mida asked. "Women and men are supposed to have kids. With us Gerudo, it's a little tough since we get a man of our own every hundred years. Most of us resort to settling with Hylians. But when we finally do get a real Gerudo man..."

"Say no more. _Please _say no more." Link nearly begged.

"You'd think a guy would _want_ to hear about sexy Gerudo women in heat." Mida shook her head.

"I would, but the Gerudo man I'd be imaginin' with all you women is Ganondorf. _I don't want to imagine Ganondorf. PLEASE don't make me imagine Ganondorf._" Link pleaded urgently.

"You're such a baby..." Mida concluded.

"Just get back to the damn story." Link demanded. "I see why Raznia hates you so much. For more reasons than one."

"Hmph." Mida huffed. "The fact that I revived Ganondorf from unconsciousness didn't help things either." She opened her hand to reveal a bright white light. "It was the first time Raznia saw me do that. I'm pretty sure it freaked her out at first, but there's also the fact that I actually had to put Ganondorf before her. I had to put a man who spread terror and mayhem, who just happened to be the father I never knew, before my own sister. Before then, I never wanted to use that power. It reminded me of where I came from."

"But you saved where you came from..." Link reminded her.

"Yeah... I did say I'd do anything for my family, right? No matter what." Mida shook her head. "I don't think I'll ever have a good reason for why I did it. The best thing I can come up with is the fact that I finally met him; my father. And he knew who I was. The way he smirked before we faced each other... the way he _didn't _kill me when he could've... I always thought that he didn't know he had a daughter until then. He even spared Raznia when I asked. Sort of... When he came to, he immediately rocketed toward her and grabbed her by the throat before I could even blink. I screamed for him to stop, and to my surprise, he did. I guess he knew who Raznia was, too. He slammed her into the sand and disappeared without a word into the sandstorm. I wish he stayed. Remember the question Raznia interrupted? I was going to ask him why he did what he did; taking over Hyrule. I just wanted to hear his side of the story. Everyone just blurts out that he's evil. I want to think my father is a _little _more complicated than that."

"Trust me, Ganondorf doesn't need a reason to do what he wants." Link said. "Believe it or not... I was actually friends with him after me and Zelda trapped him in the Sacred Realm. I tried to figure him out, but he never took the question seriously. What a bastard..."

"Wow..." Mida was actually surprised by that bit of information. "I never would've thought _you'd _be friends with him, if any of the stories I heard were true."

"I dunno what I was thinkin'. It seemed like a good idea back then. Fuckin' retrospect..." Link growled.

"Well, maybe he didn't say for a reason. Some things are better left unsaid."

"I dunno, Mida... Your dad is not that deep."

"I still don't know him, so it's alright for me to be a little naïve." Mida said. "As for the rest of the story... I told Raznia about my relationship to Ganondorf, and in turn, she told the fortress about what happened. Connections were severed and I lost a lot of friends. Just so you know, they didn't hate Ganondorf because of what he did to Hyrule, but because of what he did to Nabooru.

"The worst of my friends-turned-enemies was Raznia. Hearing her put so much emphasis on the fact that we were only half-sisters hurt me so much. Before then, you couldn't tell either of us we weren't fully related. We'd kill anyone who'd say otherwise. I would've left Gerudo Fortress if it wasn't for Nabooru. She was the only person who looked at me the same way. And it only made sense, since she's the one who told me who my father was, so long ago."

"Talk about 'some things are better left unsaid'..." Link groaned.

"Tell me about it... I hated Nabooru for a week when she told me that. I thought it was a cruel joke, but she told me it was because she knew about my power, and I should know what I'm capable of."

"Was she expectin' you to become the female-version of Ganondorf?"

"Back then, it might not've been a bad thing." Mida said. "Nabooru was Ganondorf's second-in-command and actually worked to impress him. It's even rumored they had a one-night stand. Oh, and before you get any ideas, Nabooru is _not _my mother. Besides Ganondorf, I don't think anyone knows who she is.

"But as far as Nabooru telling me about Ganondorf... I do think she wanted me to become the most powerful woman in Hyrule. I think I let her down, though. Raznia holds that title now, and I don't think I can catch up. I never practiced with my power, even after everyone found out about it, so it still only has one function."

"You know what I just realized?" Link asked.

"Hmm?"

"You're puttin' on a gigantic act. You're not half the bitch you want everyone to think you are." Link said.

"That's a sudden revelation. What makes you think so?" Mida wondered.

"It's all in your tone. You're likin' this. You actually sound friendly. _Completely _different from what I got used to." Link pointed out.

Mida could only smile, adding a little blush to her cheeks as a bonus. "I had to act. Everyone hated me. They expected me to suddenly turn into an ice-hearted bitch full of scorn and malice. So that's what I gave them. What you saw before was nowhere near as bad as how I used to act. After a while, the hate turned into fear, so I used that to my advantage. Pretty soon, it was fun to act like that, so I kept it up. I made third-in-command in no time, right up there with Raznia in second and Nabooru standing at the top."

"You still get to stay close to Raznia that way." Link pointed out.

"That's the way I look at it." Mida nodded. "Why did you bring that up anyway? Your opinion on me is changing?"

"Yeah, actually." Link admitted. "You were in a situation where things about you couldn't be known, or else no one would trust you. It happened, and yet, you still came out on top. I'm in the same situation. I have a lot to lose if this gets out, but I don't think I can turn tragedy into triumph."

"You know you have to tell me now, right?" Mida said. "It's only fair."

"I promised I wouldn't. Hell, just by sayin' what I said, I already said too damn much." Link wore a troubled expression on his face.

"Link..." Mida put a hand on his shoulder. "You can tell me. I'm not gonna think any different of you. You'll be an idiot regardless of what you tell me."

Link actually managed a laugh despite his inner turmoil.

"A kind hand on the shoulder. You still the same Mida I met earlier?" Link wondered.

"Maybe. The Mida you met didn't offer kind hands on the shoulder. This Mida doesn't either." She stated. Suddenly, Link realized where her hand was resting. "This is your injured shoulder, remember? If you don't tell me, I'll squeeze it so hard, you'll be telling me things you wouldn't tell Din, Nayru, _or _Farore."

_"You think she's serious?"_

_It's Mida, man. She still gets what she wants. I'm gonna be cryin' in a few seconds._

_"I'll save you some pain. Go ahead and tell her."_

_Whoa... that's not the solution I was expectin'. You sure?_

_"You've been wanting to tell someone about me ever since I told you not to. If there's only _one_ person I'd let you tell, it's Mida. She's the only one that'll truly understand. I trust her."_

_You wanna tell her that yourself?_

_"And _that _wasn't the response _I _was expecting. _You _sure about that?"_

_Hey, we're both breakin' rules, so it evens out. We'll be alright._

"Three more seconds, Link." Mida warned, adding a little more pressure to her hold.

"Take it easy, Mida." Link took her by the hand and led it away from his injury.

"So that means you're talking." Mida determined.

"No, that means _I'm _talking." Link said.

Mida noticed a subtle change in Link's tone. She looked him in the eye with a questioning brow, especially after noticing their new color. "Since when were your eyes red?"

"Since I trusted you."

"That's a little more scary than charming..."

"Maybe I should introduce myself... Right now, you aren't speaking to Link. I'm his... alter-ego. Kinda... Call me Dark Link." He introduced himself.

"Creative..." Mida complimented sarcastically.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up." He grumbled as he stretched his limbs a little. "Whew, feels good to stretch. It's a little claustrophobic in Link's head."

"Really? I didn't think he had that much going on up there." Mida said, snidely.

"Hehe. You should know that he's actively cursing you out right now." Dark Link laughed.

"Hmm, so you really are someone else. I'd be hearing all those kind words if Link was out here." Mida realized. "So you're his dark side or something?"

"'Dark' has gained a bad rep over the years..." Dark Link almost sounded apologetic. "Yeah, I had a hand in the stereotyping back in the day, but those days are over. The sun rose to shed light on a new day, dispersing the darkness."

"...your point being?" Mida wondered with crossed arms.

"Hey, I sat through your story, so you can at least pretend to be mystified by how deep I can be." Dark Link said. "Long-story short, yeah, I was his dark side, but not how you think. I existed separately from him, and only to kill him, but through a ridiculous twist of fate we now share his body, risking death if we ever separate."

"Wow... what a way to gain a friend..." Mida muttered.

"Yeah, neither one of us were too happy about it, but I got over it quicker than Link did." Dark Link shook his head. "Even so, I'm the one who suggested we keep my existence a secret. Like I said, my past isn't nearly as admirable as my counterpart's, and people will look at him differently if they knew about me. People are fickle... friends... family... You know this better than anyone."

"Yeah..." Mida's tone grew low and sullen. "Is that why you're telling me this? Because I can relate?"

"Two reasons, actually, and that's a big one." Dark Link nodded. "The other reason is because Link just needed to tell someone. It'd have to be someone that not only he could trust, but someone _I _could trust as well. You should be feeling pretty special. We were feeling a whole different sentiment a few hours ago..."

"I can only imagine." Mida smiled, contrary to what that knowledge would typically make someone feel. "But you know what? I _do _feel pretty special. As stupid as this sounds..." She hesitated, almost embarrassed by what she was about to say. "You would be my first _new _friend in a long time. But... I also feel a bit... _weird _about this. I'm glad that you two trust me so much, but shouldn't you be telling Mario and Luigi about this? Or even Raznia?"

"They're the last people I want to know about this." Dark Link said. "Before me and Link merged, I kind of tortured the brothers and sorta planned on killing them. I doubt that'll be forgiven. Ever. As for Raznia... She won't be able to handle this. She sees in black and white, and once she finds out about me and my past, she'll change on Link like she changed on you."

"Hmm..." Mida looked to the ground, knowing all too well what Dark Link spoke of. "This is how relationships break, you know. Once you start keeping secrets from each other, you're doomed."

"Link'll probably hate me for saying this, but I hope they _do_ break up." Dark Link said. "Raznia's cute and all, but I think there are way better women out there. As far as a million light-years away..." He paused for a second, as if looking off into the distance. "...or..."

"...or?" Mida repeated, waiting for him to complete his thought.

Dark Link then looked into Mida's eyes with a provocative grin. "Right under your nose."

Mida couldn't help but let her lips curl into a smile. Her lips had no idea what to do, though, when they suddenly found Dark Link's lips pressed against them. Without even thinking, she grabbed him by the tunic with both hands, trying to somehow pull him closer to her. Then, just as soon as it happened, Mida pushed him back, still with her hands clutching his tunic.

"I can't... believe... we just did that." Mida

"Neither can I." Dark Link admitted, though with a satisfied smile.

"Neither can I."

To their heart-wrenching dismay, Raznia stood there, looking for the words to say but instead spoke through her tears. Mida struggled to squeak an apology but was too overwhelmed by her own sickening grief to even open her mouth. All Dark Link could do was simply turn away from her.

...only because he didn't want her to see the subtle smirk he couldn't hide.


	33. Only the Beginning: Part 11

**Act 10****: ****_Only the Beginning _**(Part 11)

The three found themselves back on the beaten trail towards their final destination and goal of their arduous journey. It all led to this: the trials and tribulations they faced... the insurmountable odds they overcame... all leading to this final showdown. The end was literally in sight, and although they knew it would prove to be _the _defining moment of their entire adventure, they wouldn't hesitate to admit that they were happy that they saw each other through the quest until the end. Mario, Luigi, and Link couldn't think of anyone else they'd rather be traveling with.

At the moment, though, Luigi fretted this was not the general sentiment he walked with his companions, afraid to speak up as their adamant muteness had him on edge, especially after what just happened moments beforehand.

"...this isn't how the rest of the trip will be, will it?" Luigi timidly spoke up.

"What do you mean?" Mario wondered.

"You know exactly what I mean!" Luigi insisted. "We can't ignore what just happened back there. I can't believe we were so quiet all this time!"

"...we just left the fortress. Not even five minutes went by." Link pointed out as the three stepped off the Gerudo Valley bridge.

"That's nearly _three hundred seconds_. Some people can't even count that high!" Luigi countered. "I know you, Link. If you're not talking about it now, you never will unless someone drags it out of you. And I know you, Mario." Luigi turned to his brother. "If no one brings it up, you won't share your feelings. You'll keep it to yourself and develop an ulcer."

"Okay... you apparently overdosed on estrogen." Mario determined. "That's what we get for spending so much time in a woman-dominated society."

"Seriously, Luigi. Where's all this comin' from?" Link wondered.

"Hold on. Are you two serious?" Luigi stopped in front of his comrades and held his arms out in an attempt to keep them from passing by. "You're _really _going to act like we _didn't _get kicked out of Gerudo Valley? You're _really _going to act like you _didn't _break Raznia's heart, Link? You're _really _going to act like you're _not _severelydisappointed in him, Mario?" He alternated his glare between them.

"Link's a grown man. He knows what he did. Why should I scold him like he was a kid?" Mario shrugged.

"That's not what I mean." Luigi groaned.

"Fine, Luigi, this seems to really be botherin' you. Go ahead and ask me what I was thinkin'." Link granted.

"I have a better question." Luigi said, clearing his throat soon after and breathing in deeply as some sort of preparation. "_What the hell?_" He stated more than asked as he held his hands out in a perplexed fashion and assumed a slightly hunched stance.

"...what the hell?" Link asked more than answered as he rose a confounded eyebrow.

"You can't answer a question with a question. I'm serious, Link, what the hell?" Luigi repeated.

"I'm askin' because that whole dramatic preparation thing you did was pretty unnecessary." Link said.

"Either way, it's still a good question." Mario admitted.

"We asked the same thing..." Link pointed out.

"Fine, you want to get contextual; I'm talking about Luigi's 'what the hell'." Mario clarified. "I told you to be careful with Raznia and you ignored me. Fine. You made it clear that you hated Mida. That's fine, too. You trifled with Raznia's feelings by kissing Mida. ...what the hell?"

Both Mario brothers stared at Link, awaiting his explanation.

"You guys wouldn't understand. Shit, _I _don't understand." Link shook his head, refusing to answer.

"How could you not understand?" Mario rose his voice, frustrated. "You don't understand that you're turning out to be a damn horndog?"

"You can think that if you want." Link said.

"Link! Don't you see where I'm coming from?" Mario was nearly shouting. "I tried to help you get with Samus after you told me about Zelda. Can I even believe that anymore? Were you just tired of Zelda? Were you just looking for another pretty face? Did the same thing happen with Raznia? Did you just get tired of her?"

"...like I said, Mario..." Link fought himself to stay reluctant. "Think whatever you want."

Mario clenched his fist angrily as he gritted his teeth. Several violent thoughts circled his brain, and with Link's lack of remorse for what he did, they all seemed like excellent ideas.

"Mario, calm down." Luigi put a calming hand on Mario's shoulder, which actually seemed to succeed in its purpose. "Link, all we want is to understand what's going on." He pleaded, looking to his hooded friend. "Even you have to admit that what you did was pretty messed up. I'd like to think that I've known you long enough to confidently say you wouldn't do something like that without a reason. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt: there _is _a reason for what you did. But you have to tell us what it was. Otherwise... I don't know if Mario or I will be able to trust you anymore."

_"Damn, he gave you the ultimatum."_

_You're amazingly brave to even speak up after the shit you pulled back there. You did that _knowin' _about their relationship. I don't think you get how grim what you did was._

_"Correction: I understand the full level of grimness I achieved. I may've quite possibly ruined any chance Mida had at making amends with her sister. Not only that, I might've strained her friendship with Nabooru, as well. And I don't even want to talk about what that did for your reputation. At the very least, we might've even gained a new enemy in the form of Ganondorf's daughter, let alone the entire Gerudo fortress."_

_And understandin' all that, you did it anyway. You fuckin' kissed her._

_"It's kind of amazing how catastrophic one small act can be, huh?"_

_That's all it is to you? "One small act"? You really don't get it._

_"I already told you I get it perfectly. I don't think _you _get it, Link. And here's the punchline: none of this would've happened if you kept your distance from Raznia in the first place."_

_Fuck you, Dark Link. Like you didn't have a hand in my decision?_

_"Don't try to throw this back on me. You were thinking about taking her WAY before I showed up. All I did was play the damn devil's advocate to see how far you would take it. And DAMN,_ _did you surprised the hell out of me! It's like Samus didn't even matter at all."_

_Samus--_

_"No. Stop right there. I don't need to hear your weak arguments trying to prove otherwise. Samus means shit to you. You wanna know how I know? Dreams --especially those as lucid as the last one you had-- usually lead to some type of epiphany. Remember what happened? Right when you realized Samus was the love of your life, she _somehow _found out about Raznia, and everything went straight to Hell. _Anyone_ would've taken that as a sign. But you know what _you_ did? You woke up and decided that was the worst dream you ever had, completely ignoring the moral of the godamn story. You were never gonna let Raznia know about Samus. You were gonna keep leading her on like she was the only one. And if you were to see Samus again, you'd do the same fucking thing to her. You said so in your dream yourself: both of them deserve better than that."_

_But--_

_"And I must reiterate: _DO NOT _try to prove me wrong. You simply can't."_

_... ...then what am I supposed to say against all that?_

_"Nothing. Unless it's 'I'm sorry', you can't say anything."_

_... ...so that... that's why you did it?_

_"I knew you'd never break up with her. Yes, it was really fucked up, but I had to make the decision for you. What you were doing to them was wrong. You're really, REALLY lucky that Samus will never find out about this, but unfortunately, Raznia and Mida had to be sacrifices."_

_So what do I do?_

_"What _can _you do? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And we scorned Gerudo women. If we ever step foot on their territory again, we might not make it out alive."_

_I don't care. I need to at least tell them I'm sorry. _We _need to tell them we're sorry. They're supposed to be my friends. I owe them the truth, at least._

_"Well, it can't be now. If we about-face now, we'll definitely be killed."_

_I might still lose my life. Mario and Luigi want an answer. What do I tell 'em?_

_"Like you said... you owe your friends the truth."_

_The whole truth?_

_"Nothing but."_

_Are you sure?_

_"Mida and Raznia already know about me. I commend them for not saying anything yet, but it's going to come out sooner or later. And you know how gossip spreads. Pretty soon, the news will be all over Hyrule. I'd hate for the Mario brothers, the people you've spent the most time with, to be the last to know."_

"So, Link, what'll it be?" Luigi asked as he and his brother waited for Link's answer with bated breath.

He hesitated. Link knew what he had to say was heavy. With a deep breath, he found the courage to speak.

"I did what I did... I kissed Mida... because there was no other way." Link said.

"What does that mean?" Mario demanded, not satisfied with the answered.

"I was in too far. Raznia let me know how deep her feelings for me were, and I knew I had Samus... but I couldn't tell her that. I don't know why, but I just couldn't. So I panicked. Mida was there and we were talkin', then I had a bright idea. The rest is history."

Luigi let out an unexpected laugh. "Bright idea? That'll go down in historyas the most _dim-witted _idea you ever had. You know hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, right? You didn't scorn just any old girl. It _had _to be two Gerudo vixens!"

_"I'm glad Luigi thinks he's so clever. I definitely said the scorned thing already."_

"Nabooru did say Mida and Raznia had a bad relationship. You didn't think about that at all before you kissed her?" Mario bought up.

"I did say I panicked, right? You've seen me panic before. It's never pretty and it never makes sense." Link reminded him.

"You probably sent them past the point of no return." Mario said. "If their relationship is as bad as Nabooru says it is, I don't think anything can fix it, especially after this."

"I know..." Link sullenly agreed. "I messed up. I messed up big time. I don't know how or when and I don't know if it'll even matter, but I'm gonna apologize to them. After we finish with Ganondorf and Bowser, I have to come back. ...but you guys..." Link looked his allies in the eye. "I know I disappointed both of you with the crap I did. It was... not me. _This_ is not me. I'm sorry. _Truly _sorry, and I hope both of you can forgive me. I want to say 'let's just forget this ever happened', but I know none of us will be able to. Instead, I'll say 'I hope this isn't what we'll remember the most when we look back at this trip'."

"You don't have to say it again." Luigi put up a halting hand as Link looked as if he was about to repeat himself.

Link managed to smile for the first time in a while. "See? _This_ is what I want to remember. We're brothers on this journey. You wouldn't have been able to say that if we weren't as close as we are, right?"

"...right." Luigi nodded. He couldn't deny it. Link spoke the truth.

"Hell, if I were anyone else, Mario would've punched me in the face by now. I'm surprised he didn't do it earlier when I was bein' an asshole." Link laughed.

"It was because Luigi stopped me." Mario played off, knowing the truth on the inside.

"Yeah, right." Link playfully batted Mario's arm. "All I'm sayin' is we keep it this way, even after this whole thing is over. The Mario brothers: featuring Link as the hidden _third _Mario brother."

Mario and Luigi could only laugh as the thought formed in their minds.

"Before you can even _think_ about being a Mario brother, you'll need blue overalls, your favorite colored shirt and cap, and the letter of your first name on said cap." Luigi explained. "You're already in some trouble. I already have green and "L" covered. Unless you have a second name and another favorite color, you're doomed."

"We can make an exception. I honestly can't see Link without a tunic and a hood. It's like his signature, same way our hat and overalls are ours." Mario said.

"So I'm Link Mario?" Link's eyes grew bright upon the anticipation.

"I deem it so." Mario knighted his comrade with a meaningful hand to his shoulder.

_"Congratulations, Link Mario. Now how does this lead into you telling them about me?"_

_It doesn't. I'm not tellin' them about you._

_"...seriously?"_

_At least... not now. We're about to walk into the final battle. Morale needs to be high, and it won't be if everyone's thinkin' about how they can't trust me. You know better than anyone: without trust, we won't survive._

_"Oh I see what you did there. You know I can't argue against that. You clever bastard, you... This doesn't hide the fact that you just lied to them. For me. At one point, I was your second-worst enemy. And I did just ruin your relationship with all Gerudo women, and theirs by association. How'll they react to that?"_

_Let's just say what they don't know won't hurt 'em._

_____________________

"Oh snap, here they come!" Ganondorf exclaimed, almost giddily as he watched Mario, Link, and Luigi enter the former Hyrule Castle town from his "command" center at the top of his castle. "B-Boss, do you know how long I've waited for this?"

"About as long as _I've _waited for this." Bowser pointed out. "Sucks that we have to leave before we even get to do anything... I know it was my idea, but that was because you want to believe what Zelda's saying. Are you _sure _you want to do that? I mean, I was being euphemistic before but Ganondorf... seriously... ... ...that bitch is crazy."

"Bowser, I said it already: I can't leave shit up to chance. Zelda might be wrong, but she might be righttoo. If we can keep it from happenin' by gettin' the fuck outta here, then we're gettin' _the fuck _outta here." Ganondorf emphasized, punching in a few commands on the console.

"What are you doing?" Bowser questioned.

"Lowerin' the bridge. We get 'em in here, drop 'em off with DK, and we bounce." Ganondorf explained.

"There's another problem I have." Bowser said. "I _know_ DK's gonna fail so miserably... I swear it's like I can see into the future. I mean, I know you're expecting DK to lose, but take into account their morale. After walking all over him, they'll be coming for us with their heads high, ready for anything. Heroes can't have high morales. That's how villains lose. We gotta step in and do something... like... taking one of them out before they even step foot on that bridge."

"I can tell you who we won't touch: Link." Ganondorf stated. "If anyone's gonna take him out, it'll be me."

"Well, Mario can't be the one either. I mean, I'd love to finish him from here, but I can't. We have such an old rivalry that I owe him an execution of legendary stature. It needs to be personal."

"So that only leaves one unfortunate mother-fucker." Ganondorf determined.

"Yep. Poor Luigi." Bowser feigned a weep. "He's such a loser, anyway, he probably wishes he were dead everyday. We'd be doing him a favor."

"This ain't a charity, though." Ganondorf playfully disagreed with Bowser's decision.

"Well, I'm feeling pretty generous today. I can't help it." Bowser gave a modest shrug. "Tell me how this thing works."

_____________________

"Any bright ideas? This is where we were stopped before." Mario said, alternating his glance into the deep chasm and across to Ganondorf's castle.

"...Green Missile?" Luigi suggested.

"You didn't forget why that was such a bad idea last time, did you? There's a barrier around the castle. Nothing's getting through that." Mario reminded him.

Link very suddenly hurled his sword across the gap, straight at castle as if he could end it all with that single action. Of course, he couldn't. The sword crashed against the stone wall and landed harmlessly on the ground instead. Nonetheless, Link still smiled.

"...were you able to do that all along?" Mario wondered, almost in shock.

"I wish..." Link admitted. "It's the same way you found out there _was_ a barrier, only in reverse. ...kinda. The wind was kickin' up dust around the castle-ground. If there was an impassable barrier, that wouldn't be happenin'."

"That's all I needed to hear." Luigi said as he charged up his patented Green Missile and zipped over the chasm before anyone had a chance to protest.

Barely even halfway over the pit, Luigi looked as his he crashed into an electric fence. It seemed his own electric powers couldn't protect him as he shook violently from the massive voltage invading his body.

"NO!!" Mario and Link cried, stepping forward to take action, only to realize there was nothing they could do but watch helplessly as Luigi was finally thrown away from the barrier, down into the fiery depths below.

"_Man, sucks to be him, huh?_" A new, blatantly obnoxious voice spoke.

The two looked up as the voice seemed to be coming from above them. None other than Bowser's smug mug floated above them, made possible by a mobile floating monitor that was no doubt another part of Ganondorf's advanced security arsenal. It didn't help that the screen was in high-definition. Bowser's satisfied and overly-detailed grin was nothing less than taunting.

"Bowser..." Mario growled as his fire powers sent a wave of flames to wash over his body.

"_Hey, to be fair, we didn't play favorites here. We just set the trap and waited to see who'd bite._" Bowser explained. "_It's not our fault your dumbass brother wanted to be gung-ho and not properly assess the situation, but if you're gonna blame anyone, it should be yourself! What took you so long to stop him?_"

With an enraged roar, Mario sent a surge of power into his hands and fired ball after ball of flames right at the plasma screen. If only there wasn't a barrier protecting it as well...

"_Touchy!_" Bowser laughed as the fireballs exploded spectacularly against the shield. "_You should save it for the final battle, buddy!_"

"He's right, you know..."

Link and Mario looked towards the familiar voice below them. None other than Luigi stood, or more accurately, clung onto the edge desperately as he struggled to make it back to solid ground.

"_What the hell?!_" Bowser gasped, this time in genuine shock. "_You should be drowning in fire, sorrow, and agony right now!_"

"Seriously... you should be." Link agreed.

"Yeah, but everyone forgot I have thunder powers. Except Bowser. He just doesn't know. Yet..." Luigi gained a devious grin. "I tried to used the electricity from the barrier to jump back to the mainland. Didn't work the way I wanted it to, though... It only _looked _like I was being shocked to death."

"_HEY!! KOOPA ROYALTY UP HERE!!_" Bowser shouted, wildly and annoyingly buzzing around the trio like a fly as he was obviously unappreciative of the attention no one was paying him. "_When I want someone to die, it usually happens. Green losers like you are no exception._"

"Then... let's try it again?" Luigi offered.

"What?" Bowser, Link, and Mario uttered in unison.

"You all heard me." Luigi refused to answer the question. "I'm handing out a challenge to the King of all Koopas. Taking out a 'green loser' like me shouldn't be a problem. If you manage to do it, then I'll be dead, and Mario and Link will be left so disheartened that they'll just fade away and never return. But if I make it over untouched, you'll be so stunned by my sheer awesomeness that you'll have no choice but to let us in uncontested so I can give you a chance to personally bask in my brilliance. Deal?"

All three of them were left speechless. Only Bowser would be the first to break the stunned silence.

"_BWAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HAAAH!!_" Bowser carried on, with the mobile monitor bouncing about as if it was uproariously laughing as well.

"Luigi..." Mario took his brother by the shoulder. "I don't know how many volts you took, but there's obviously been some brain-damage. You're going to try and make a deal with _Bowser_? Even if you win, you _lose_. You can't trust him! Whatever you're thinking about doing is crazy!"

Luigi just looked at his concerned sibling with a confident smile. "It's not crazy if I have no way of losing."

"You know, Mario..." Link took his recently "official" brother by the shoulder in a similar matter. "If you think hard, he said that before. With the same smile. And the results speak for themselves. Luigi's got some madness up his sleeves."

Mario looked to Luigi once again. The smile never lost confidence.

"If you end up in the lava down there... don't expect me to save you." Mario warned.

"I was about to tell you not to. That'd ruin Plan B." Luigi said.

"_Plan B?!_" Bowser continued his wild guffaws. "_What the hell could you do if you fail again? Pretend to burn to death while were all laughing, then use the top-secret entrance underneath the lava?_"

Luigi's smile momentarily disappeared upon Bowser's guess. His eyes glanced side-to-side to see if anyone noticed.

"Hey..." Link send a tap to his arm. "Didn't you say that before? I thought you were jokin'." He whispered.

"...don't let Bowser know." Luigi quickly muttered.

"_Alright, green machine. I'll give you a fighting chance, since you'll fail otherwise._" Bowser spoke. "_I'm going to flick the shield on and off. You make it to the castle, and we'll beam you up._"

"How long between flicks?" Link wondered.

"_Hey, I'm already doing too much by making it _this _fair. You figure it out._"Bowser stated.

"Not a problem." Luigi said, reassuringly. "I don't need to figure it out. It's all or nothing."

Bowser nodded almost approvingly of Luigi's demeanor. "_Since when did your brother grow a pair, Mario? I like this new Luigi. I'll respect him enough to actually refer to him by name. And that's a hell of a privilege._"

Luigi set his sights on the front doorway of Ganondorf's castle once again, assuming the position to charge his Green Missile. His body began to glow a neon green as he gathered the energy to fly across the chasm.

"Ready, Bowser?" Luigi called out.

"_Whenever you are, Luigi._" He replied.

With that, Luigi sent himself off, leaving a shower of sparks behind him. No sooner than flying off did Bowser begin his maniacal laughter.

"_I may respect you enough to say your name, but to let you live? HA HA HAAA!!_" Bowser roared on, facing Link and Mario to see the inevitable look of sorrow on their face.

One could only imagine his shock to see they joined him in his jubilance, laughing just as much as he was.

"_Hey! I'M the only one who should be laughing now! My moment, my victory, MY happiness. I __don't share._" Bowser snarled.

"That's cool. This isn't really your victory anyway." Link said with an almost-apologetic shrug.

Bowser followed Link's eyes as they seemed to be looking behind him. As if he wasn't in enough shock, his face gained a look of pure awe when he saw Luigi standing totally unharmed in entry of the castle, holding up a peace sign and a victorious, tooth-bearing grin.

"_That can't be possible! I never bought the shield down!_" Bowser shouted.

"I figured you wouldn't, so I did, thanks to the clichéd, but always useful, Emergency-Off button." Luigi explained. "If I didn't almost die the first time I tried to get by, I would've never found it. But don't worry. Let Ganondorf know I won't tell anyone about it."

"_You won't get the chance to even think about it!_" Bowser roared as the floating monitor suddenly began to form an oblivion-black ball of darkness, seemingly with the properties of a black hole from the way Luigi struggled to keep his cap on his head. "_Say good night, Luigi!_"

"_Whoa, Bowser, chill out._" Ganondorf made his sudden appearance on the screen, reaching to the side of Bowser's head. The ball of darkness suddenly dissipated. "_You made a deal with Luigi and you lost. We can't be goin' back on our word, so we gotta let 'em in, no bullshit attached._"

"_Ganondorf, we're fucking bad guys! I can go wherever I want on my word: sideways, diagonal, up, up, down, down, back, forward, back, forward, B, A, wherever!_"Bowser argued. "_Besides, he cheated first! No one told me the shield was off!_"

"_B-boss, your own words are comin' back to bite you in the ass. You said Luigi shouldn'ta been so gung-ho 'bout tryin' to fly over here, right? Well, you shouldn't have been so quick to take his deal. You didn't hear the confidence? My boy definitely did have somethin' up his sleeve and you didn't check. The only thing you can do now is man up and take the L. You can make up for it later."_

"_Son of a bitch..._" Bowser made his way off the screen, grumbling random curses to himself all aimed at Luigi, of course.

"_Good shit, Lui-G_." Ganondorf commended. "_Like y'all agreed on, you and your peeps will get up here wit' no bullshit attached. There's a teleporter right next to the entrance of the main hall. Step in and it'll take you to the throne room. We'll be there._" Ganondorf directed as a bridge of dark energy formed, connecting the castle to the rest of Hyrule once again.

"...thanks." Luigi cautiously said as the monitor flew to the top of the castle.

Mario and Link finally joined Luigi on the castle grounds. Immediately, they noticed Luigi's confused expression.

"...you look like you can't believe this is how it went down. Wasn't this the plan the whole time?" Link wondered.

"Only up to the part where I make it here in the castle doorway." Luigi said. "I knew Bowser wasn't going to let that slide, so I was going to improvise. I just didn't expect Ganondorf to be so... compliant. There's a teleporter set up for us so we don't have to take any stairs. He even gave me a nickname. Lui-G. ...I sorta like it."

"It _is _a pretty freakin' long run up the stairs to get to where he'd be. That's... kinda nice..." Link said, though mulling over the significance of Ganondorf's offering.

"This is a set-up. The teleporter probably doesn't even lead to the throne room." Mario immediately determined.

"It probably is..." Link agreed. "I still remember the way up the stairs."

Link led the way past the teleporter and to the large iron door leading to the rest of the castle. He gave a strong push to open the way. The door pushed back with equal and opposite force.

"Aw shit... The door is locked." Link realized. "Without a small key, there's no gettin' in."

"You think there'd be one in this hallway?" Luigi wondered.

"Ganondorf isn't _that_ generous." Mario didn't even acknowledge the thought.

"Yeah, Luigi. We have a better chance scalin' the castle walls than finding a key here." Link said. "And that's actually our only other choice if we're not takin' the teleporter."

"Well... at least we _have_ choices." Luigi pointed out, trying to stay optimistic.

"Not really..." Mario interjected. "Those winds are strong and this castle is tall."

"Then I guess we actually have _no _choice." Luigi realized, turning to the teleporter once again. "Who's going first?"

"Wait a second." Link halted his crew, quickly darting up the entrance ramp and out of the castle.

The Mario brothers looked at each other with a look of slight befuddlement. No sooner did Link so suddenly exit did he return.

"Checked for a last-minute plan?" Luigi asked.

"Nah, I almost forgot my sword." Link said, patting the hilt.

"I thought you could summon your sword from anywhere." Mario remembered.

"I... decided... to chill with my powers for a minute." Link said. "I'm still recoupin'. Somethin' as little as summoning my sword and shield take energy. That's why I'm wearin' them on my back." He said as he sheathed his sword behind him. "When shit starts gettin' thick, I'll use what I got to the fullest extent. Don't worry."

"Makes sense." Luigi nodded in agreement.

Mario gave an approving nod as well.

"Alright, so let's roll." Link said.

He took the first brave step into the teleporter, followed by Mario and then Luigi. To their surprise, Ganondorf kept his word. They found themselves in the throne room standing before royalty: The king of Evil, Ganondorf, the king of all Koopas, Bowser, and...

"DAISY?!!" Luigi gasped in bewilderment as he couldn't believe who was standing with the enemy.

Daisy, the princess of Sarasaland, long-time friend of Princess Peach, and Luigi's special interest, seemed to be in just as much bafflement as he was. She searched for words, but all that came out were barely-audible squeaks.

"What... what are you... you're here?" Luigi tried to make sense of the situation as Daisy was the last person he expected.

"Luigi..." Daisy was finally able to utter.

"Daisy-baby, we'll talk later. I got other business to handle." Ganondorf said to the dazed princess.

She didn't even acknowledge Ganondorf's words as her eyes were locked into Luigi's.

"Hey. Listen up." Ganondorf snapped his fingers a few times before Daisy finally looked in his direction. "Later. Get that ass outta here." He sent her off with an underhanded slap to her hind-quarters.

A surge of electricity flew to Luigi's hand on pure impulse. The only thing that stopped him was Link's subtle signal for him to not attack yet. With furrowed brows, he glared at Daisy as she left through the same teleporter he and his crew entered through.

The five of them finally stood in the same room. Ganondorf and Bowser versus Link, Mario, and Luigi. Emotions were strong. The tension was thick; thick enough to chew. Mario felt a tinge of rage every time Bowser smirked in his direction. He tried desperately not to explode in an overwhelming ball of flames. Luigi found himself in a similar position, though now he had a vendetta against both tyrants; Bowser for disrupting the peace of the Mushroom Kingdom and Ganondorf for putting his hands on Daisy.

It seemed as if Link didn't share the same enthusiasm. Though there was a laundry list of offenses Ganondorf committed against him, his demeanor was surprisingly calm. Ganondorf took notice and sent a nod toward Link's direction.

"You see, Link? I still got some good in me. I kept my word." Ganondorf broke the intense silence.

"You shoulda let us take the hard way, Ganondorf." Link said, surprising everyone in the room. "We didn't break a sweat gettin' up here, Luigi's got some choice words for you now, plus we're all stronger than anythin' you can handle. If we had to work a little, you wouldn't be takin' us all on at our full, _unfair _potential. Only two letters can describe how it'll be for us to fuck up your entire day: E Z."

"Oh word? Well I got two letters to describe how this room will be when y'all get back up here: M T." Ganondorf countered.

"Get back up here?" Link repeated, confused by Ganondorf's words.

He took a quick survey of the area. Immediately, he noticed a blood-red carpet under his feet. He had been in the throne room before, and this carpet was not part of the furnishing. It may've seemed like unnecessary worrying, but Link knew Ganondorf too well.

"GET OFF THE CARPET!!" Link blurted out to his two companions.

Unfortunately, he realized it too late. No sooner did Link finish his exclamation did Ganondorf "yank" the carpet out from under them with the snap of his fingers. They fell into darkness as the floor materialized over where they fell, making sure they couldn't find a way back that way.

"...what type of slap-stick booby trap was that?" Bowser wondered, obviously disappointed in the manner Ganondorf handled the situation.

"We weren't gonna fight 'em here anyway. I needed a way to get 'em down to DK, and I got it. Now, we get the fuck outta here." Ganondorf said.

"Someone better be home when we get there. I didn't bring my keys with me." Bowser suddenly remembered.

"...you're kiddin', right?" Ganondorf froze.

"It's a joke, G-dorf. Lighten up." Bowser patted his fellow villain on the back. "I'm King Koopa. I don't need keys to get into _my _castle."

"Don't fuck around. Shit is delicate right now." Ganondorf warned.

"Hey, the plan's working so far. All you have to do is punch in the teleport commands and take us back to Mushroom Kingdom. I'll handle it from there." Bowser reassured Ganondorf.

"I'm serious. Since shit is in your hands now, any fuck-ups on your end will be handled with the utmost violence. Do not let me down." Ganondorf warned.

"Trust me, Ganondorf. You'll wish you left it in my hands sooner." Bowser guaranteed as they exited the throne room.


	34. Only the Beginning: Part 12

**Act 10****: ****_Only the Beginning _**(Part 12)

"You know...I love how we're all more powerful than we've ever been...and we're _still_ falling down dumbass holes and screaming like wack bastards!" Link ripped his hood off and threw it to the ground. "You see what I just did to my hat? Ganondorf just did that to us! HE SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO!"

"And yet, here we are..." Luigi grumbled with a slowly shaking head.

"Sometimes, the oldest tricks in the book work best. I should know: I literally fell for this same trap years ago. You know how we get over this?" Mario looked alternatively between Link and Luigi.

"Carry more Cape feathers?" Luigi suggested.

"I'd be wearing my Hover boots if I still had 'em..." Link wishfully sighed.

"...I can always count on you two to give me the completely wrong answer." Mario groaned. "We climb out. It's that simple."

"No it's not."

"Wow, Link. I thought we were done with pessimism." Mario was surprised by Link's seeming eagerness to oust all optimism.

"I'm not pessimistic. This note is." Link handed Mario the newly-materialized note.

"You'd think we'd notice a mysterious yellow note a little sooner." Luigi almost sounded disappointed in his group's awareness, or lack thereof.

"I noticed it as soon as I could: it was floating down while Mario was talking." Link pointed out.

"It's from Bowser." Mario immediately recognized the handwriting.

"And it says..." Link was eager to hear the letter's contents.

After a quick skim-through and a frustrated groan:

_No it's not. I can already hear one of you losers thinking it's just that simple to find a way out of the Maze of Madness(TM), so allow me to destroy all your hopes and dreams: no it's not. You know what _is_ simple, though? _

_Giving up._

_If one of you said that before you read it, give yourself ten points. But then again...second place is the first loser... ...and losers don't get points for losing. ...unless they're loser points, of course. I guess those Bowser points belong to me since I'm obviously a winner. You know what, though? I'll change the rules for you guys just this once and give you a consolation prize: a quick rundown of why giving up will be the best idea you'll ever have. It's the least I can do._

_AHEM..._

"Did he really write 'ahem'?" Luigi interrupted with incredulous wonder.

"Forget about that... Bowser points? Seriously? BOWSER POINTS?" Link was beside himself.

"We're not even halfway done..." Mario warned before he continued.

_1) The chips are stacked highly in our favor._

_2) Even if you topple them, you'll get buried in an avalanche of pure win and suffocate._

_3) Now I feel like having chips... If you guys somehow make it to us, bring some with you. I feel like the salt and vinegar variety. ...maybe even sour cream and onion. I haven't had those in a while._

_4) I doubt you'll be bringing me those chips, though. We have DK in the dungeon with an elaborate plan that's supposed to put you guys out of commission forever. I guess I'll get one of my minions to get some chips for me. Goombob sounds like an eager volunteer. He won't have a problem carrying two bags._

"Ha ha ha..."

Mario and Link looked to Luigi with an unsure glance.

"What? Goombob hasto be a goomba. How is that not funny?"

"How did they get DK into this? I thought he was better than that." Link was admittedly disappointed in DK's perceived loyalties. "But more importantly, what kind of name is 'Goombob'?"

"FIVE..." Mario sternly continued.

_5) The keywords in that last bulletpoint: _SUPPOSED TO_._

_6) I decided to make it better by turning it into MY plan, as follows: I got lost in the Maze of Madness(TM) once and found this monstrous werewolf wearing armor and wielding a huge mace. Don't ask me how, but I managed to trap it with DK. Okay, fine, you can ask me how. I'll answer, "because I'm a champion". And surprise, surprise: the only way out of the maze is through the room with DK and the werewolf. DK might be a pushover, but that werewolf _will_ eviscerate you._

_7) I dunno what else to tell you. The werewolf is the exclamation point at the end of my statement while DK is the unnecessary and improperly-used semicolon. Speaking of which, I'll give you twenty Bowser points if you can give me a proper example of when to use a semicolon. Just how smart are you idiots?_

_Your Diabolical Genius,_

_King Bowser Koopa_

"...is he even taking us seriously? Now we have to teach him grammar while feeding him? Before I fight Ganondorf, give me two minutes with Bowser." Link requested.

"Before we even get there, we have to fight a werewolf. Do you know anything about that, Link?" Luigi asked.

"This is the first I've heard of it. With all the Wolfos in Hyrule, I guess one can be a wild card and bring something I've never seen before." Link shrugged. "But all three of us should be more than enough to handle one renegade Wolfos. Don't even worry about it."

"Famous last words." Mario stated without hesitation.

Link smiled despite Mario's grim outlook. "I thought we were done with pessimism."

"Lies and deceit." Mario nonchalantly shot back.

"...did you guys read the back yet?" Luigi spoke up after noticing a few scribbles on the opposite side of the paper.

After Mario flipped the page around...

_If you guys aren't idiots, you're at least observant. And since perception is such a rarity these days, I'll give you another prize. This letter will self-destruct in extravagant fashion five minutes after the first word is read. How long has it been since then?_

"...nearly five minutes?" Luigi gave his best estimate.

"This is why I can't fully embrace optimism." Mario said with a disappointed head-shake.

"Lemme see that letter real quick." Link extended his hand.

Upon receipt, he crumpled the note and hurled it as far down the narrow corridor as he could, promptly running away in the opposite direction. The Mario brothers followed his lead with fervor, especially after considering the potential blast radius if Bowser's words were to be believed.

And they were.

No sooner had they reached their top speeds did the letter detonate just as ludicrously as Bowser promised. The shockwave blasted Mario, Link, and Luigi deeper into the dungeon while throwing random debris that they couldn't protect themselves from their way. Coughing and sputtering after skidding to a painful stop, the three struggled to their feet. Immediately, they noticed there were no more dark hallways to squint down anymore. The entirety of the Maze of Madness(TM) had been leveled, leaving one big, empty room with an obvious escape.

"There's the exit!" Luigi exclaimed as he hobbled ahead and followed the path to freedom.

His excitement was unfortunately short-lived. As he stumbled through the settling dust towards his goal, a pair of glowing eyes shined through the veil of soot. Luigi spotted them at his height, but gradually they rose taller and taller above him until he felt as if he was staring up a skyscraper. Demonic snarls accompanied the clang of heavy steel boots stomping the ground.

Just then, only a head stuck out through the gritty shroud: a shaggy head with pointed, tattered ears on top connected to a muzzle lined with crooked, serrated fangs. The behemoth parted its jaws and let out a terrifying duel-toned howl, capable of reducing even the most courageous of heroes into babbling messes of panic and distress.

Luigi seemed to be the exception, however. He casually turned his back to the hulking monstrosity and calmly returned to his companions. Despite their dire situation, he seemed unfazed, smiling bravely in the face of potential annihilation.

"There's the werewolf!" Luigi exclaimed.

"Yep..." Mario and Link managed to squeak.

Luigi nodded confidently as he turned to stand up to condemnation-incarnated.

...and simply fainted.

"Luigi has the right idea." Mario agreed with Luigi's sudden loss of consciousness.

"I was more with what he was about to do. I would've _followed_ him into the fray, but I don't wanna lead..." Link admitted. "I wanna live to see another day, but is that gonna happen when I'm looking at the promise of _disembowelment_ stomping towards me?"

Just as Mario was about to offer an answer, a wild yell diverted attention back to the lupine monstrosity, even through it sounded nothing like the soul-freezing howl they heard earlier. The werewolf looked as if it was struggling against something on its back, flailing and barking wildly in an attempt to set itself free of that annoyance. Suddenly, a hand grabbed it's snout and forced its mouth apart to shove something down its gullet.

"...an...orange?" Mario watched, almost in disbelief, as the round, orange fruit disappeared in the armored monster's gaping maw.

As soon as that question was asked, a silhouette launched itself off the beast's back and landed with force beside them just before an explosion sounded off. A pained yelp was heard as the brutish creature fell into a crumpled heap to the floor.

"Donkey Kong!" Mario and Link exclaimed as the victorious primate beat his chest furiously.

His victory was only temporary, however, as the armored monster began to stir, its grunts becoming stronger with each twitch.

"If you really do want to live to see another day, Link, then follow me." DK offered, immediately increasing the distance between himself and the recovering wereWolfos.

Before Link moved, he saw Mario's understandable apprehension.

"I know he's supposed to stop us, but I think we should take our chances with DK. At least I know for sure that we can beat him." Link pointed out, promptly following DK's lead.

Even with his new fire powers, he knew taking on the towering hulk of a beast by himself would only end in a defeat more spectacular than the explosion responsible for their current situation. Piggybacking the still-unresponsive Luigi, he followed Link and DK to a large and battered brown shell, who wasted no time in ducking under the archaic protection. With admitted hesitation, Mario and his swooned brother followed suite.

"If this isn't ironic, I don't know what is..." Donkey Kong shook his head. "I'm not one to doubt the strength of numbers. And it turns out my aid comes from the ones I'm supposed to stop. If it wasn't for you three, I'd still be fighting a losing battle."

"How is this supposed to protect us from Ultra-Death out there?" Link demanded an answer. "It smells like coconuts in here!"

"The Coconut Cover has been more than adequate in keeping me out of harm's way." Donkey Kong assured Link. "We should be safe long enough to come up with a plan."

"Coconut Cover... You're hiding us under a godamn overgrown coconut shell?" Link suddenly felt like laughing. "This is hilarious. Instead of the obvious question, I'll ask Mario to ask you where the hell can you grow a coconut big enough to fit three guys and a gorilla under it's shell. Mario, if you will?"

"I have a better question: how could you agree to helping Ganondorf?" Mario pleaded, turning to DK. "You had to have known he'd double-cross you like this."

"Trust me; I know who my foes are. This is all Bowser's doing. No surprise to me, however. I sensed his disdain for me the moment I arrived." DK said. "But you can't really fault me for jumping on this opportunity. When Ganondorf mentioned I'd have a chance at my true enemy before the next Smash tournament, how could I decline?"

Mario could only let out a frustrated breath. "Did you know I still have no idea what I did to have you hate me as much as you do? _Bowser_ probably doesn't hate me as much as you do."

"Are you that blind to facts, Mario? Barring the fact that you pummeled my grandfather multiple times and threw him off of a _building_, all ofwhich culminated in his kidnapping by none other than _you_, you wonder why my abhorrence for you is as deep as it is?"

"Holy Din, Mario..." Link was in awe of Mario's hidden sadistic nature.

"Really, Link? You're looking at me like that when I saw you mutilate an owl _and _kill a man?" Mario was appalled by Link's double-standards.

"HEY, I'm not the one on trial! Don't take shit outta context, Mario!"

"That's my point! Donkey Kong knows exactly whyI did what I did."

"Fine, Mario. I'll admit that he had it coming. But what did _I _do to deserve your wrath?"

"You never had my wrath!"

"LIAR!" Donkey Kong boomed with an accusing finger pointed directly between Mario's eyes. "If anyone were to ask me if I've ever been deflowered and I answered 'no', that would be false!"

Link's eyes suddenly went wide, more afraid of the truth than he was of the werewolf they were supposed to be fighting. "Mario...you didn't..."

"NO, DAMN Y-OW!" Mario lividly jumped to his feet in protest and slammed his head against the low ceiling of the Coconut Cover. "No! Luigi and I had to save Daisy from Donkey Kong. After they _just _met during the Mushroom Kingdom's first tennis tournament, he kidnapped her." He explained as he tenderly rubbed his head under his hat.

"I did no such thing!" Donkey Kong firmly disagreed. "I saw potential in her power shot, so I offered to teach her."

"You wouldn't take 'no' for an answer! And when Luigi tried to get involved, you got violent and took her back to Kongo Jungle. _Against her will_." Mario emphasized. "If that's not kidnapping, then I don't know what is!"

"You'll never know the whole truth! With Luigi's embellishments exacerbating the circumstance, of course it'd seem like I kidnapped her! You'd never know that she adored every moment in my presence!"

"You had her tied up in a cave!"

"Excuse me. _Banana horde_." DK corrected."And it was to keep her from leaving her favorite place in my home, which she would've never done! Just mention my name once and feel the warmth of her words."

"She said you smelled like you ate a banana, threw it up, and tried to eat it again!"

"That was one misguided night!"

"Okay, time out." Link calmly interjected. "First off, that's disgusting, DK."

"Might I iterate: _one _misguided night?" Donkey Kong urged.

"WHATEVER! It's in the past!" Link was beginning to lose his patience. "What we have to do _right now_ is figure out how to beat that damn mishmash of fur and fangs that has us cowering under a godamn shell! You two wanna argue about whether Daisy liked DK or not? If we win this fast enough, we can go out there, find her, and just ask her."

"Find her?" Donkey Kong agitated demeanor suddenly became calm, though slightly concerned. "She was here?"

"Donkey Kong...she was with Ganondorf." Link conceded regretfully.

"No..." DK felt his heart sink. "Et tu, Ganondorf?"

"You should've seen it. If he could be that...casual with her, they have some history. We're just as surprised as you are. Luigi, even more so." Mario said.

"I know it's kinda messed-up for me to say, but this is what you get for trusting Ganondorf. But I only say this because I know bet-"

Link was suddenly interrupted by a heavy banging on the outside of the Coconut Cover. The wereWolfos had finally found them, attempting to beat its way into the shell. Luckily, Donkey Kong's words held true as the protective carapace held strong against every vicious blow. The acoustics on the inside, however, made the attacks on the outside much louder than they actually were. Coupled with the fact that Link still felt he had a point to make, it became very clear this mix would go together just as well as oil and water.

"You want everything to be right in the world again?" Link continued despite the booming noises, turning to Donkey Kong.

"What?"

"Do you want to set things right?" Link added some volume to combat the repeated ear-popping BANGS coming from the outside.

"WHAT?" But obviously to no avail.

"DO YOU WA-"

A tormenting bellow from the outside drowned out anything Link had to say.

"DAMN IT!"

With only that warning, Link bolted out of the safety of the Coconut Cover and into the fray, presumably to set things right himself, leaving Mario and Donkey Kong too stunned to follow. They looked to each other as if they expected one another to verify what just happened.

"Link just charged head-first into a guillotine, didn't he?" DK broke the relative silence of the shell.

"Might as well've..." Mario confirmed. "You were fighting that thing for a while. Does he stand a chance alone?"

"About as much of a chance I'd have surviving if I were a snowball in Hell."

"Ah." Mario nodded. "So...no plan to emerge victorious?"

DK replied with a blank stare.

"Luigi?" Mario turned to his still-comatose brother.

He replied with more unconsciousness.

"Great brain-storming, guys." Mario gave an affirming head-nod.

"That's not to say I haven't been thinking ceaselessly. ...but it's only been of my last attack."

"I'll tell you right now: that was probably better than anything Link or I can do." Mario admitted.

"With its impenetrable armor, you're probably right... The biggest problem is that I know I don't have enough oranges left for a decisive blow."

"Just how big is this problem?" Mario wondered.

"There are only three left..."

"...then we'll figure out a way to shove them all down that monster's throat at once and hope the resulting blow is strong enough to at least help us get as far away as we can."

"I don't like this plan at all, but it's all we have to work with." Donkey Kong grimly stated. "I'm ready when you are."

"That day will never come." Mario admitted.

And with that, he and Donkey Kong left Luigi under the care of the Coconut Cover to follow Link's example. Coincidentally, Luigi finally stirred, groggily sitting up to survey his new surroundings.

"Coconuts?" Luigi grumbled quizzically as he recognized the scent, but wondered why the aroma wafted around his nostrils.

No sooner than when he uttered the word, two voices screamed in unison accompanied by a loud and heavy "THUD". Luigi recognized the shouts, jolting him from his befuddlement and sending him into a charge as he figured he'd zap his way out of wherever he was. Before he could even let his fingers spark, the walls suddenly rose with Mario and Link rolling in under, but obviously unconscious as Donkey Kong rolled in afterward. Luigi had no idea what was going on.

"Donkey Kong?" Luigi heard himself ask.

"Luigi! Revived!" Donkey Kong sang to the tune of complete relief as he literally hugged the green-clad plumber.

"...I'm glad to see you, too, I guess..." Luigi said, placing a few awkward pats on DK's back.

"With Mario and Link incapacitated-"

"Wait-what happened to them?" Luigi looked to his companions again to verify.

"I can only describe it as a freak accident..." DK began. "Mario jumped out from under the Coconut Cover and looked left. Nothing. Then right. Link careened toward him face-first. He did not duck in time..."

"The werewolf is still out there?" Luigi's voice shook as he feared the worst. He secretly hoped he was out long enough so that the problem would solve itself somehow.

"Not only is it out there; it knows where we are."

Right on cue, violent attacks on the outside were heard from within.

"Do you think we can wait here until they wake up?" Luigi looked to his inert partners.

Suddenly, a claw found its way through the roof of the Coconut Cover. Luigi and Donkey Kong backed into the walls while dragging Mario and Link with them, trying to stay as far away from the vehement paw as possible.

"Everything is happening too fast! We still have no plan!" Donkey Kong shouted, taking a few swings at the swiping paw.

"You guys were just out there, so you must've thought _something _would work."

"The only plan was to use my remaining oranges as a means of escape."

"Oranges. That makes a lot of sense." Luigi nodded.

"I appreciate the sarcasm." DK grunted. "First, you must understand that jungle warfare is brutal. Even the sweetest of fruits could be made into deadly weapons. I've managed to turn oranges into lethal grenades, but the best I can do with the three I have left is use them simultaneously. I have no doubt they'll be enough to give us a chance to escape. The tricky part is getting them to where they'll be most detrimental."

"Lemme guess: in its mouth." Luigi took a wild stab of a guess.

"Precisely." Donkey Kong confirmed.

"If either of us end up close enough to that thing's mouth, that means we're about to get eaten. If that really is the plan, we might as well fix ourselves up with all the garnishes right now."

"Luigi, I understand how bleak our situation looks, but we have no choice. If there's the slightest chance that this plan will work, I recommend taking it."

Luigi closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. As he breathed out, the wereWolfos let out a long howl, probably with its eyes closed also. Luigi suddenly felt like he was being mocked, a surge of electricity jumping from his body to highlight his displeasure.

"Okay, duck." Luigi commanded.

Donkey Kong promptly hit the deck, pulling Mario and Link closer to him as Luigi sent wave after wave of lightning to his palms. After crouching down as low as he could, he bounded upward with a spinning jump, lifting the entire Coconut Cover into the air. As soon as he made contact, the shell became electrified, turning it into a sort of lightning bowl, and proceeded to dump the contents right over the wereWolfos's head. A rush of electricity powered up his fists as Luigi prepared a defense against the inevitable onslaught of claws, fangs, and maces. Instead...

"BRRRAAAUGH!" Lupine-madness barked, sending a surprise stream of thunderbolts right back to Luigi.

"YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!" Luigi shouted out in bewilderment as he hid himself behind a thundershield. It barely protected him as he was thrown backward from the amplified bolts.

The beastly wolf continued to literally bark thunderously, forcing Luigi, Donkey Kong, and their unconscious companions further into the dungeon and further away from the exit.

"I just gave it the power to thunder-bark. It's over..." Luigi muttered in defeat after finding cover.

"Actually, it's only the beginning. I think your attack did more than you anticipated." Donkey Kong pointed to the snarling monster.

The wereWolfos seemed to be convulsing with each step it took. Its incessant barking also looked to be an effect of Luigi's attack, almost like it had the hiccups.

"Yeah, I did _way _more than I thought it would: I gave it the ability to shoot lightning from it's mouth!"

"You also gave it the _in_ability to keep it's mouth shut." Donkey Kong pointed out. "He now barks at regular intervals. All it is is a matter of timing."

"I think it's more of a matter of divine intervention." Luigi disagreed. "If those oranges are anything like the grenades I know, they're pretty volatile. We may get them into the wolf's mouth, but the second that happens is the second he barks, and the second he barks is the second we get caught in another epic detonation. If it happens as fast as I think it will, we won't escape..."

"Correction: we _all _won't escape."

Luigi immediately created a ball of electricity and held it in front of him defensively. "You picked a great time to remind me you're a bad guy, DK..."

"Be reasonable, Luigi. What I meant was that one of us will have to be a sacrifice. And I volunteer myself."

Luigi's mood pulled a 180. "Aren't you the one who always says 'never count your bananas before they're peeled'? We didn't go through all the possibilities! There's another way."

"There may be, but in the time we have, we'll never find it. I know I joined with Ganondorf and Bowser out of my own volition, but I also know they need to be stopped, and you three are the only ones who can do it."

"Donkey Kon-"

"Luigi, my mind is made up." DK snapped. "I've already held you three back long enough. This is the only way to set things right."

"Can I at least say what I was gonna say?"

"No, because I'm about to unleash a Giant Punch while holding these oranges in approximately one minute." Donkey Kong refused. "Time has been a scarce resource since you three have arrived down here, hasn't it?" After Luigi's nod, "Well, it turns out I have nothing but time to give, but my supply is dwindling. Don't waste what little I've bought for you."

Luigi suddenly emitted a flash of electricity from his body and threw Mario and Link on to his back. With the help of static cling, their weight was much easier to bear as Luigi knew he'd need to move as fast as possible to make his escape.

"...see you at the next tournament."

"Let's hope so." Donkey Kong wishfully nodded after winding down his fists in preparation for his signature move.

And with that, Luigi bounded forward, sending a surge of lightning to his feet to bullet towards their only escape. Right on cue, the wereWolfos appeared, no doubt there to stonewall his hopes for freedom with another devastating thunder-bark. Luigi knew there'd be no way they could take such a powerful attack unprotected, but he also knew if he slowed down, they'd never escape. With the assurance of certain death unmoving, Luigi let loose another blitz of lightning to propel himself and his partners even faster toward either their goal or their doom. As he braced himself for impact, he hoped that if he couldn't plow right through the beast, he'd at least make it yelp.

Suddenly, Luigi felt like an explosion sounded off right in his ear. _Either I just broke the sound barrier, or we didn't make it..._ Luigi feared briefly, but felt his feet come to a skidding stop. He found himself in front of a stone stairwell leading up: the exit.

"We...did it. We made it!" Luigi cheered, instinctively turning around to see just how he did it.

He saw the remnants of a contained blast dissipate near the lupine nightmare's chest, just strong enough to move it the minimum required distance to allow Luigi and his crew to pass by unharmed. Luigi knew that was Donkey Kong's doing.

"D! K! DONKEY KONG!" Luigi hooted, waving his arms similar to how his primate companion would.

But once again, Luigi's elation was unfortunately short-lived. His pupils constricted as they followed DK and his glowing fists right into the maw of the armored creature. The two remaining oranges were seconds away from being in the epicenter of two overwhelming forces, unquestionably able to catalyze a paroxysm of power unlike anything ever seen before.

With his crew behind him, Luigi lunged forward again, throwing everything he had into his feet in an attempt to rocket up the stairs and outrun the inevitable.

Simply put: it didn't work.

Just as they were up about twelve steps, the shockwave funneled into the narrow stairwell, amplifying it into an overwhelming and detrimental torrent, sending the three-man crew into the unknown. Luigi could only scream until he was abruptly interrupted by a stone wall, halting his rapid flight through the castle and dropping him and his friends to the ground. Luigi struggled to rise to his feet to survey his surroundings. A large, red carpet was immediately noticeable under him.

"...what are we doing back in the throne room?" Link suddenly groaned, obviously groggy and pained. "Ugh...my face..."

"You two have no idea how glad I am that you're up." Luigi let out a breath of relief, noticing Mario rising to his feet as well.

"You have no idea how much pain I'm in." Mario tenderly caressed his face similar to how Link was. "Where's the werewolf?"

"I think DK got him. His plan worked..." Luigi hung his head as he spoke.

"...he ended up taking one for the team, didn't he?" Link guessed, taking note of his absence.

"The wrong team, but yeah..."

"The guys he was bought in to beat were the ones he saved... Damn." Link shook his head at the irony.

"I feel bad about the way things turned out, but something's not sitting right with me. And it's not the obvious..." Luigi admitted.

"I almost don't want to know, but fill us in." Mario reluctantly requested.

"Trust me, I really want to take it all at face-value, too. But it's just that...well...DK _was_ bought in to beat us. He had a bone to pick with you, especially, Mario. You were unconscious and vulnerable. If he had just saved himself, that werewolf would've done the job for him and Ganondorf and Bowser would've won. And we know Donkey Kong: he's not so full of pride that he'd feel the overwhelming need to beat us with his own hands. He's smart, and he'd use the environment to his advantage. I mean, he lives in the jungle. It's in his nature."

"So what's the main point of contention?" Mario wondered.

"The whole fact that he made that effort to save us. I mean, he did it, and I'm grateful, but I don't think I should be. It's crazy, but I think this was all part of a plan..."

"A plan where Donkey Kong kills himself?" Link asked incredulously. "You just said DK was smart. If his plan was to make the ultimate sacrifice, he'd make sure it was a guaranteed win. We wouldn't be standing here to argue about it."

"I'm with Link on this one, Luigi." Mario agreed. "I think you're getting too used to unexpected plot-twists. We came out on top. Smile."

"You can't act like self-sacrifice is not a part of DK's game. Remember the Smash tournaments? Remember the one reason _everyone _hated fighting him? He would literally carry you off into the abyss at the cost of his own stock! He's used to killing himself for the win!" Luigi contended. "Plus, here's something you guys didn't hear: he said 'time has been a scare resource [for us] since we arrived'. I dunno why, but the second he said that, I thought he was directly referencing Bowser's letter and how he timed it to explode as we read it. If he was, how would he know about that?"

"Remember DK was originally on Bowser's team? He probably proofread it." Link reminded Luigi.

"But DK said Bowser's been against him from the beginning. Bowser would _never_ tell DK about that letter. Bowser even wrote it himself: he made whatever plan DK had better by completely ruining it with a random armored werewolf. Now I'm suddenly thinking: what if that was the plan all along?"

"Okay, Luigi. Let's make this concise. Straight and to the point; what are you saying?" Mario requested.

"I'm saying Donkey Kong planned everything that just happened. That's not Bowser's letter; DK forged his handwriting. He was never out to help us; he's just getting us to let our guard down so he can swoop in and take us out quickly and painlessly. Or slowly and agonizingly, depending on how he's feeling."

"Probably long and agonizing, since we hang out with Mario." Link guessed.

"But what about him taking out the wereWolfos? That thing could've killed us without a problem." Link said.

"We all agree DK is smart, right? And you said that was the first wereWolfos you ever saw, right, Link?" After his nod, Luigi continued. "Couple those facts together, and you can guess that DK created the wereWolfos. It could be a robot or something."

"Alright. Say you're right about everything. DK stilldestroyed his own invention and killed himself, and we can guess Bowser and Ganondorf are long-gone by now. What does that mean for us?" Mario asked, waiting for a conclusive reason for Luigi's sudden apprehension.

"Knowing is half the battle." Luigi recited, sage-like in tone with a sly smile.

Mario paused briefly, mostly in disbelief. "I really hope you didn't waste all that time on your story just to end it with a common proverb."

"Yes... No... Maybe so?" Luigi shrugged, though facetious in tone.

"You know, I'm glad Luigi bought that up. At the very least, we know what to expect, and I know how to avoid it. DK doesn't know that _I _know Ganondorf has a machine that'll warp him anywhere. We find that machine, we find Ganondorf." Link smiled with a confident nod.

"Okay, but you _don't _know where Ganondorf actually warped to. Like you said: the machine can warp him anywhere, so he could be _anywhere_!" Luigi fretted.

"You would think so, but if you look at the clues like you did with your whole DK conspiracy theory, the only place Ganondorf could be is pretty obvious. Hell, I can tell you you're probably the only one who doesn't know where they are." Link said.

"Is he right, Mario?" Luigi turned to his brother for the answer.

"Yeah, actually. This whole journey is about to come full-circle. We need to go back to the Mushroom Kingdom."

"Peach's Castle..." Luigi gasped, gaining Mario and Link's approving nod. Suddenly, Luigi began to laugh. "I guess you were right all along, Mario. I should've stayed home. That way, I would've been able to hold them at bay or something...maybe even beat them."

"Maybe not." Mario quickly stated.

"Can the man dream just a little, Mario?" Link said, shaking his head at Mario's readiness to dash his brother's fantasies.

"Only when he sleeps." Mario shot back. "Lead the way, Link."

The three eventually found themselves at the very top of Ganondorf's castle, greeted immediately by gale-force winds and booming thunder. It was as if even the elements didn't want them up there. Regardless, Link pointed out the secret entrance to Ganondorf's teleportation device by stopping in front of one of the rooftop pillars.

"No door?" Mario noticed.

"Hell no! It's a secret room." Link said.

"So..." Luigi waited for the obvious trick to get in.

"Ganondorf would hold out his hand, it'd glow purple, and the door would open." Link explained. "I know doing exactly that won't work, but I figure if you guys hold your hands out, somethingmight happen..."

Once the brothers observed Link backing away from the pillar, it was obvious. Mario and Luigi held up their right hands and sent a ball of their respective fire and thunder powers out from their palms. Just as Link hoped, an entrance was suddenly available and the fabled Interdimensional-Warp Machine was in plain sight.

"Wow..." The Mario brothers gasped.

"I said the same thing when I first came up here." Link remembered. "It's not as complicated as it looks."

"I dunno... Any contraption that needs a chicken to operate seems needlessly complicated to me." Mario said, noticing the very random hen pecking at the ground.

"Maybe not. Those instructions attached to it might tell us exactly what to do." Luigi pointed out the yellow note.

"That's not a chicken and those aren't instructions." Link feared the worst as he cautiously approached Hyrule's native bird, the Cucco, and picked the letter off of its back to read it back to himself.

_Twelve..._

_Eleven..._

_Ten..._

_Nine..._

_Eigh-_

Link wasted no time in crumpling up the letter and hurling it into the furthest corner of the room, similar to how he handled the previous letter. Shoving the Mario brothers as hard as he could, Link himself dove out into the open as he hoped the heavy stone blocks of the pillar would help contain the inevitable explosion, counting down the remaining seconds.

"Three...two...one..." Link whispered to himself as he put up his shield as a makeshift cover for he and his crew and braced himself.

Nothing.

"What was that about?" Mario wondered, looking agitatedly toward Link.

"The letter was just a countdown! What did you expect me to do?"

"_Exactly that_."

Link, Luigi, and Mario looked up to the sudden voice above them. Against the dark clouds, they couldn't see anything, but with a brilliant flash of lightning, a large silhouette could be seen floating down from an even larger, even rounder object. He finally touched the ground, standing victoriously in front of his stunned audience: Donkey Kong, holding on to a red balloon.

"I knew it! I freaking knew it! Guys, tell him how I figured out his whole plan." Luigi excited hopped, pointing at their revived adversary.

"Honestly, if Luigi didn't say anything, I'd be standing here with three exclamation marks over my head instead of one." Link confirmed Luigi's guesswork.

"Well, what's that one exclamation point for?"

"The balloon, probably." Mario guessed, followed by Link's verifying nod.

"Oh, that's simple." DK laughed with a scoff. "It's very similar to Mario and Luigi's 1-Up Mushrooms and your Fairies, Link. Should I ever have to make the ultimate sacrifice, this provides a means of travel back from the great beyond. It only makes sense, doesn't it? I would have to float down from Banana Heaven to return."

"If you're about to do what I think you're about to do, you definitely won't be going back to any of the heavens I know." Luigi begged to differ.

"How could I not? I'm helping my fellow man and setting right wrongs." DK pointed out. "Unfortunately, we don't have the time to debate how your life's decisions determine your placement in the afterlife. Link was correct: the letter I left was a countdown, but not to an explosion. It was actually a countdown to my arrival. I should've given you three a few extra seconds. You took a lot longer getting here than I anticipated."

"Blame that on Luigi. His crazy theory about you was long-winded." Mario excused.

"Crazy theory about you _that turned out to be right_. Don't forget that part." Luigi corrected his brother.

"Be that as it may, in light of this lapse in timing, I must cut my speech out of the program. Award-winning caliber material, I must add. Such a shame..." DK looked slightly disappointed.

"I'll bet." Link grumbled. "So what are we waiting for? After me and Mario taking ourselves out and all three of us being caught in _two _explosions, you should be systematically dissecting us on a molecular level. You know, since you're a genius and all, and you probably do that to all your enemies."

"I didn't know you thought so highly of me, Link." DK flashed a toothy grin. "However, even as a genius, I still have much to learn. Ganondorf taught me an important life-lesson, actually: "never do your own dirty work". That letter is set to detonate, and if you rack your brain, you'll know why that's potentially worse than being mauled by my doomed wereWolfos."

"Other than the obvious fact that it's probably just as powerful as the last letter-bomb you left?" Luigi speculated.

"That was more directed to Link. He'll inform you and your brother soon enough." Donkey Kong nodded confidently.

"Well, Link? How will this be worse than-"

"Oh shit..." It finally hit him. "Shit! HOLY SHIT! THE CUCCO!"

"And with that, I bid you three adieu." Donkey Kong gave them a final salute before hopping into a sudden wormhole, courtesy of the warp machine, and disappearing in a flash.

"Follow him!" Mario ordered as he led the charge into the warp room.

...or so he tried as Link grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and bolted behind another pillar, dragging the Mario brothers with him. Seconds after ducking as low as he could, an explosion threw the ground into a violent rumble. The ensuing shockwave disintegrated the pillar they hid behind, sending the three tumbling forward and on-course to fly off the roof of Ganondorf's castle. Link whipped out the Sword of Darkness from its sheath and drove the blade as hard as he could through the stone beneath him. Successful in his efforts, he grabbed hold of Mario, who kicked a foot out for Luigi to grab on to seconds before he was blown out into free skies.

"Why didn't we follow him?" Mario shouted. "We had a chance! Now all that's left of the warp machine is rubble!"

"No we didn't!" Link disagreed. "I know how the machine works. Donkey Kong had everything set up way before-."

Another sudden explosion interrupted Link and Mario's argument, with a bright shining figure demanding their full attention.

"Is that...that's the chicken we saw in the warp room, isn't it?" Luigi wondered, undoubtedly befuddled by its unlikely resilience.

"It's not a damn chicken; it's worse than that!" Link unmounted his shield, looking ready for a battle.

"Why are you on the defensive?" Mario completely failed to understand Link's demeanor, following his eyes back to the renegade fowl.

A blinding beacon of light shot up into the sky above the crowing bird. A sort of cyclone of white indecipherable fluff inexplicably began spiraling around the massive ray. The cyclone seemed to be...molting, with random white feathers floating down to the ground.

"Link...you should tell us what's going on. I'd like that a lot." Luigi suggested.

"Like I said, that's not a chicken; it's a Cucco. Obviously, they look exactly like chickens, except for one gigantic difference: if they get attacked viciously enough, they can call out for a freaking SWARM of Cuccos who match the viciousness of the previous attack. Mind you, _that _Cucco was just in the middle of a vicious blast. You see what I'm getting at here?"

As an answer, the cyclone dissipated into a no-doubt vicious gaggle of irate Cuccos, wildly attacking anything and everything in their general vicinity. Mario, Link, and Luigi stood back-to-back-to-back, ready to play any difficult game that came their way and win. Strangely enough, the renegade Cuccos seemed to be ignoring them, swooping past them and diving off of the roof aggressively.

"What the hell are they doing?" Link wondered, following the swarm of irate birds.

He was met immediately by a tremor strong enough to trip him inches away from the edge. He slid to the edge just enough for his head to hang over. What he saw below him turned the blood in his veins to ice.

"FUCK!" Link boomed, jumping to his feet. The Mario brothers looked to their hooded companion intently for the update. "Cuccos will attack anything that sent them into the rage until it doesn't exist anymore. _Anything_."

"That thing was covered in stones... Are you telling me...?" Mario trailed off as he knew his worst fear was about to come true.

"The Cuccos are attacking the castle? _And they'll destroy it?_" Luigi completed Mario's thought.

Just then, the entire section of the roof they were standing on began to collapse. The three scrambled to the last remaining rooftop pillar, watching in awe as half of the roof just vanished.

"Okay, okay...nobody panic." Luigi attempted his calming mantra, but the panicked look plastered on his face was prominent. "I'll be right back."

Mario and Link watched Luigi shuffle to the roof's edge, possibly looking for a safe way down. Without warning, a heavy bolt of lightning flashed from the heavens and rushed down to crash directly into the wary green-clad plumber. To Mario and Link: one second Luigi was there, and the next, he wasn't. They were suddenly on their own. They looked to each other, their blank expressions obviously holding back a lot of distress and confusion.

"...what just happened?" Link held his hands out in wonder.

"It sounds grim, but we'll worry abou-"

Mario halted the moment he felt his stomach lurch as if he was falling. Though he was still sitting on the floor, he checked his surroundings for any changes. The tall hills surrounding the castle were slowly rising above them. He knew the mainland wouldn't shift so suddenly, which could only mean one thing.

"Link...not only are the Cuccos destroying the castle; they're sinking it into the lava below us."

"They're _really _serious about leaving nothing left. Alright, desperate measures..."

Link hopped to his feet and neared the missing half of the roof. Below him, Cuccos were dive-bombing the castle walls; actually breaking through the stone as if it were glass. Their attack was surprisingly coordinated as if there was a method to the madness: groups of Cuccos were lined up side-by-side, assaulting all fronts of the castle.

"Follow my lead." Link commanded, readying an active stance.

"Fill me in?" Mario apprehensively requested.

"Just watch."

With that, Link dove toward a squad of Cuccos, grabbing one by the legs just before it was too late. The bird fought to stay elevated with the sudden weight-gain, but slowly floated to the ground regardless. This was obviously what Link hoped for as he led himself back to safe ground and away from the crumbling castle where Mario still stood.

"He made it look so easy..." Mario grumbled, preparing himself to perform a similar feat.

With a deep breath, Mario followed Link's example and took the plunge, aiming straight for a sort of unusual Cucco: this one had a black comb and wattle as opposed to the typical red. Just as Link did, Mario grabbed hold of its talons moments before it was too late, but unlike Link's experience, the black-combed Cucco flew higher into the sky instead of gently floating down to the ground.

Link gasped from below as he watched Mario struggle with the bird. Before Mario could even think of a plan of action, the Cucco caught a sudden updraft, soaring up at break-neck speed into the air and showing off its surprising aerial prowess by performing a graceful backflip, but so quick that Mario lost his grip on the bird's feet and began his rapid decent to the ground. A shrill crow from the dark-wattled Cucco perked up Mario's ears. Below him, dozens more cries answered back, gradually increasing in volume as he fell closer to them. Mario turned to look downward and met the menacing glare of a quickly-approaching flock of Cuccos, all their faces screwed up with malicious intent.

"There goes that plan..." Mario muttered to himself, previously hoping to just grab a normal Cucco by the talons on the way back down.

With the growing legion of fowl swiftly increasing, it became obvious to Mario that this wouldn't end well if he didn't think fast. Assuming a more aerodynamic form, his diving speed picked up as he rushed down to meet his angry avian assailants. Feeling a burning surge of power at his gut, Mario let his entire body become engulfed in wild flames.

The opposing forces finally met, but Mario easily won that battle, frying every Cucco he came into contact with with an overwhelming wave of heat. The war for his life wasn't over, however, as there were no Cuccos to grab on to and the deep pit of magma below Ganondorf's castle seemed as if it was in a hurry to personally greet him.

"MARIO!" Link screamed as he helplessly watched his red-clad partner's fire-engulfed body plummet into the boiling depths, never to be seen again.

Before Link could even sink to his knees in hopelessness, he watched the lava boil violently to the brim of the pit, encouraging him to bolt rather than bawl. Just as he expected, the lava erupted similar to how it would from an active volcano, consuming everything in its way from crazed Cuccos to towering strongholds of evil. But most amazing to him was the red figure seen bursting right from the base of the dying magma geyser: none other than a smoking Mario Mario. Link's reserved despair was replaced by an unspeakable joy.

"...could you always do that?" Link uttered, his elation mixed with obvious awe.

"If I could, no one told me about it. Otherwise, I would've ended this hours ago!" Mario said.

"So Luigi disappearing with that bolt of lightning?"

"Probably similar to what I just did. I can swim in lava and he can ride lightning." Mario speculated.

"So where is he?"

"Knowing Luigi, he hasn't figured out how to control it yet. You should've seen him after I taught him the Super Jump Punch." Mario laughed at the memory. "Don't worry about him. He'll show up soon."

"So what do we do in the meantime? You just destroyed Ganondorf's castle and we have absolutely no leads on how to get back to the Mushroom Kingdom." Link said. "I think Luigi would love it if we knew what to do when he got back."

"Well, we figured out how to leave Hyrule before when we really needed it. Who else would know? By the way, I don't think that owl can spare another wing."

"If I never see him again, it'll be too soon. Maybe Skull Kid knows something. He still owes me for screwing me out of 10 rupees on that mask..." Link growled, leading the long march to the Lost Woods with a bit more determination.

"Wait, wait..." Mario suddenly pushed Link back against the base of a hill that jutted out just enough to keep them out of sight.

Just before Link could speak, he watched a figure appeared in front of the crater where the ominous fortress once stood. "No..." he could hear her gasp, obviously in shock of what she must've witnessed.

"That's...that's Daisy, right?" Link recognized the face and voice. A glint of realization sparkled in Link's eyes. "She's our ticket out of here! However she got her must have a way back!"

"But we saw her with Ganondorf earlier... And look at how she's reacting over Ganondorf's castle being gone. Something's not right with her..." Mario fretted.

"She knows you, doesn't she? Hell, I caught her giving me the eye a few times from the audience. She's not gonna do anything crazy if we approach her and explain our cause." Link assured Mario.

"You sure about that? Because she definitely looked like she wished we didn't see her back in Ganondorf's throne room." Mario reminded Link.

"The sooner we talk to her, the sooner we can find out." Link brushed Mario aside to greet the awe-stricken Daisy. "Daisy! Sorry about not saying 'hi' earlier. You know how..."

Without even waiting for Link to finish his sentence, Daisy about-faced and ran back towards the town with all haste. Mario broke into a sprint and began the pursuit, but not before shooting Link an "I told you so" glance.

"Nayru, can you help me out just once?" Link said to the skies, immediately dashing after Mario at his top speed to catch up.

Though they closed in on her quickly enough, they had to admit that Daisy was surprisingly fast: faster than most of the Smash brothers, in fact. Daisy looked back over her shoulder just in time to see Mario and Link just within an arm's reach of her. Breaking out her secret weapon, she donned a hood on top of her head with long, thin ears most notable on top.

"Where'd she get that?" They both shouted as they watched the newly Bunny-Hooded Daisy bullet away from them with a dramatic accession of speed.

While Link struggled to keep up, Mario let the fires of perseverance consume him and managed to match Daisy's stride, but he knew he could only keep it up temporarily. A red tinge from Daisy's hand caught his attention. Upon closer inspection, it looked like a flask of red effervescent liquid.

"NO!" Mario recognized the Magic Potion Daisy just tossed in front of her; the very same potion that would create a portal into another world, presumably back to the Mushroom Kingdom, and undoubtedly lead to her escape.

Just as predicted, a red door suddenly materialized once the beaker shattered upon meeting the ground. Daisy bounded forward, reaching out to grab that doorknob just a bit sooner. A surprise bolt of lightning refused to let her leave so soon, knocking the Bunny Hood off her head and throwing her back towards her heroic assailants.

"Daisy...you know how rude it is to leave without saying 'goodbye'?" Luigi appeared before the red door as suddenly as the thunderbolt struck.

Mario could only smile at the return of his brother as Link finally caught up with the rest of the group. "Link, didn't I tell you he'd show up?"

"At the last possible second..."

"_And _with a killer one-liner." Luigi added proudly.

"I'm glad you're all so happy with stopping a helpless girl with fire and lightning." Daisy remarked sarcastically, picking herself off the ground.

"Hey, you don't move until we decide it's all good." Link enforced with his sword pointed straight at Daisy's face, gaining a fearful wince from her

"Whoa, Link..." Luigi pushed the sword away and stood between his friend and his fancy.

"No! I gave her the benefit of the doubt before, and she crapped all over that! If she wants me to treat her like a villain, I can do that. I've been fucking up villains all day! I won't even bat an eye if it comes right down to it."

"What does he mean by that?" Daisy nervously muttered, hiding behind Luigi.

"Don't worry about him; he's just mad." Mario explained.

"About what?" Daisy quickly regained her spine, stepping away from Luigi's protection and into Link's face. "I'm no villain! You don't know anything about me or what I'm doing here, so what do you have to be mad about?"

Link just stared at her, almost in awe of her audacity. "Is she serious, guys? We catch her in a throne room with our two biggest enemies, Ganondorf's patting her butt like they're best friends, and when _we_ approach her, she runs for her life...? No, Daisy, I don't know shit about you, but after everything I saw regarding you, it's _real_ easy to make assumptions. None of them are in your favor." His blue eyes glared frigidly into hers.

"Link..." Luigi bravely stepped between the two once again. "Daisy kinda says things without thinking them through. Let me figure her out. Just do me a favor and stand by the door."

Link shot one last glare at Daisy. The look of fear returned to her face in a hurry. Minimally satisfied that he could at least instill some terror into her heart, Link heeded Luigi's request, letting a mischievous smirk linger as he walked off.

"Mario." Luigi beckoned for his brother.

"I don't remember Link being that temperamental... Was he always like that?" Daisy wondered, speaking quietly as if Link could possibly hear her.

"Like I said, he's just upset. He'll get over it once everything starts making sense." Mario assured her.

"But he doesn't know me. Nothing shouldn't _not _make sense to begin with." Daisy argued.

"But what about us, Daisy? What about _me_?" Luigi took her hands pleadingly. "Take everything that Link said and then add in the fact that I haven't seen you in weeks. I'm purposely keeping Link out of this conversation so you can talk to two people who know you very well, love you, and trust you. Tell us what's going on."

"Luigi, it's..." Daisy wanted to stay reluctant, but after taking everything into account, she knew Luigi was right. "I want to say 'it's nothing'. I want to say 'I can handle it myself', but I can't. I realized this a long time ago... I needed help so badly..."

"But we're always there to help. You can always call on us." Mario said.

"Not this time." Daisy shook her head. "You two were in the Beanbean Kingdom to save Peach's voice when Wart returned to attack Sarasaland's dreams. I had to think fast, so I remembered my time watching the Smash tournaments, then I remembered Link. I asked Professor E. Gadd modify the Magic Potions from Subcon to be able to create a portal from our homeworld to Hyrule so I could ask for Link's help, but then I remembered Ganondorf. He made it further into the tournament than Link did, plus he just looked stronger, so I decided to get his help instead."

"I'm guessing you fell for his good-guy act during the tournaments, huh?" Luigi said.

"For what it's worth, he was a good actor. For a while, Ganondorf kept Wart's minions at bay and Sarasaland slept like babies. But recently, Ganondorf's been slacking, and my people are having intense nightmares. He guaranteed me we would never see his forces in our dreams, but we do. Frequently. And we see them doing terrible things. If I knew Ganondorf was actually a bad guy, I would've never even considered him."

"Daisy, it's okay. I've had to work on the same team as Bowser a few times. Desperate times call for desperate measures." Mario consoled the regretful princess.

"All that matters is that we're here now. Once we stop him, the nightmares will end." Luigi guaranteed.

"It's not that simple." Daisy continued. "I was here talking to Ganondorf about the one he left in charge of the operation: his phantom. Ganondorf had his phantom report back to him on a regular basis just to keep him in check, but I know for a fact that's not happening. I swear Phantom Ganondorf is trying to build an empire just like the original, using our dreams as his proving ground."

"And that's where the problem lies..." Mario realized. "As long as people can dream, it won't matter if the real Ganondorf is defeated or not. The memory of Phantom Ganondorf will keep him alive in everyone's mind until someone defeats him personally."

Daisy verified Mario's assertion with a nod.

"I'll do it." Luigi spoke up with no hesitation.

"Whoa there, eagerness... We still have to take care of Bowser and the real Ganondorf first. We've come way too far to lose you now." Mario denied Luigi's offering.

"That wasn't me volunteering, Mario, that was a concrete statement. I _am _doing it. Once we get back to Mushroom Kingdom, you and Link are going to Peach's castle to face Bowser and Ganondorf once and for all. I, on the other hand, am going to Sarasaland to kick Phantom Ganondorf off his high horse."

"Bu-" Mario started.

"Don't argue." Luigi interjected. This only makes all the sense in the world. Three villains, three damsels in distress, three heroes. You've seen what I can do, you've seen how strong I've become, and you've seen how brave I can be. Let me do this, Mario. I have to."

Mario looked at his younger brother. Never had he seen such conviction in his eyes. Luigi was right: he had done a lot of growing on this long trip.

"You have to do what you have to do." Mario solemnly nodded.

"Thank you." Luigi said gratefully. He may have been deadly serious about going his own way regardless, but it meant that much more to him to have his older brother's blessing.

"And thank you, Luigi." Daisy graciously accepted Luigi's bravery with a kiss on his cheek, causing him to blush a bit.

"Let's...umm...let's mosey." Luigi commanded, trying to diffuse his slight embarrassment by leading the way.

As they approached Link and the door, Link held out an authoritative hand, halting the group in front of him.

"What's the password?" Link demanded.

"We're going to stop Bowser and Ganondorf while Luigi is going to save Sarasaland from Ganondorf's phantom." Mario recited.

"What the hell?" Link's hand dropped, partially signifying an acceptable password. "We can almost see the spotlight at the end of this dark hallway, and I wanted to stand under it with both of you! We can murder Phantom Ganondorf after we take out the main offenders."

"Link...there are three bad guys and three good guys. Mario already trusts me to take care of one, just like I trust you two to take care of the other two." Luigi reasoned with Link.

"I have no doubt about that. I just _really _wanted all three of us to be doing that victory dance together when it's all said and done." Link admitted.

"Just save the dancing for when we all meet up again. You know we will." Luigi winked confidently at his companions.

And with Daisy ahead of them, Link, Mario, and Luigi stepped through the door leading to the final stage. Everything they suffered through previously was all so they could reach this moment. Though none of them would say it out loud, after all they'd been through, they wouldn't accept defeat under any circumstances. With all three of them carrying a personal stake into battle, they promised they would give it their all and make sure the opposition would feel every moment of anguish and frustration they'd experienced until they begged for forgiveness.

And with a spiteful sneer, they would reply with a tranquil whisper, "never".


End file.
